And because I'm a jerk.

Chapter 35

This was possibly the most thoughtless thing Mai had ever done to him.

Sure, she could hug his arm all happy and peaceful like and go straight to sleep. That just had to be his luck, especially after she'd thrown that bomb on him that she would be totally fine marrying him and, in turn, turning his weird little dream of sitting by a fire with her hands in his hair a soon reality.

Add in that she was wearing his clothes, that he could feel her breasts pressing against his arm, that one of her legs had come up to cuddle with his own, and that he wasn't even entirely sure that she was wearing underwear, and the fact that he had been dreaming and longing for her ever since she'd gone missing, and you got the recipe for the most uncomfortable case of insomnia ever.

Not to mention that he could tell from the feel of said breast on his upper arm that she wasn't wearing a bra, and how could she? It wasn't like he kept spare bras in his wardrobe.

Needless to say, he was not happy. A voice in his head told him he should be. After all, he was a man, and what man wouldn't want a beautiful, attractive woman that he loved cuddled up to his side like this? But to Kazuya, he couldn't comprehend how a guy could be happy when he couldn't…satisfy said wants. All he could do was lay there, struggle to hold still so he wouldn't wake her up, and suffer.

And she had no clue?

He sighed to himself. Of course she didn't have a clue. If she had, she wouldn't have even asked. He had been caught off guard with the marriage thing, which was why he had allowed her to drag him in here in the first place.

Another part of him, the same part that caused said suffering, wondered if it would be so bad just to turn over and slip his hand underneath the too-big shirt she wore—

He shut it down hard. Once he was sure she was asleep, he was heading down to the engineering room, that was it. If he…hadn't calmed down by then, he could always take a dip in the ocean or something.

'Or,' whispered that same part still connected to the soft feel of a breast on his arm before suggesting something that disgusted him, but might just relieve some of the pressure—unless Mai woke up and-

He shut that down too. Mostly because it was hard enough just to be him at the moment.

Ocean, he told himself. Cold, icy ocean. Yeah.

Why did he have to like her so much? Why?

Though he thought the moment would never come, he eventually concluded that Mai was indeed asleep, and after an experimental tug of the arm she had captive, he confirmed it and managed to slip away.

Sweet, sweet freedom.

Yasu stared a bit when he appeared in the engine room soaking wet and shivering.

"What happened to you?"

Naru shook his hair and peeled off his soaking shirt. "I felt like a swim. I'm on watch tonight. Needed to wake up." When Yasu continued to stare at him, he resisted the urge to chuck the wet shirt at his face. "What?"

"I thought Lin always did that."

Kazuya rolled his eyes. "He needs sleep too. Do pay attention to the people around you."

"But why would you say you're sleeping down here with me, then?"

Kazuya silently cursed himself. "Recent development."

Yasu gave a slow smirk. "Right. Took you quite a bit to say good night to her. Did she refuse to give you some ass so you had to take a—"

Smack. Kazuya's wet shirt hit and wrapped about Yasu's head like a python.

"She fell asleep the moment we got there," Kazuya said viciously. "But besides that, I've made it perfectly clear I do not appreciate anyone talking about her like that. It's none of your business."

Yasu struggled a bit to find the ends of the shirt to begin unwrapping it. "Aw, come on, boss, I thought we were building a friendship here. You didn't have to lie to me. Every guy has to deal with hard ons."

Kazuya started to consider chucking his shoes next. Yasu must have sensed Kazuya's intent, for the moment he cleared his face of the shirt he said in a small voice, "Please don't kill me."

"Get off the cot."

Yasu practically launched off the cot. As Kazuya settled onto the cot to peel off his pants, Yasu dug out the sleeping bag from where he had tucked it away besides a fridge.

"So…what did happen? Did she, like, fall asleep before anything could happen, or…"

"What do you not understand about none of your business?"

Yasu groaned and threw the sleeping bag on the floor like a child. "Get where I'm coming from! You're the only guy on this ship getting any action and I haven't seen a single mermaid, despite gorilla taping my flippers together and paddling around like an imbecile."

This made Kazuya smirk. That had been funny. More the fact that he had actually done it rather than the actual watching him wriggle about the yacht like a dolphin.

"And I really did think we, you know…" Yasu sighed and crouched down to straighten the sleeping bag. "Forget it."

Kazuya managed to pop his jeans off and asked if it was alright if he could put them on the hot generator so they would dry. Yasu shrugged a 'sure,' and Kazuya draped them over the rumbling black bulk in the next room over. The cooler room and the engine room were only separated by an incomplete wall, which didn't even bother to have a space for the door. It just stopped three-quarters of the way across the room. When the engine was on, the ceiling lights and sea foam linoleum floor vibrated with it.

Kazuya smacked his socks alongside the pants and sighed. This was why he didn't have many friends back home, he realized. But he didn't want to talk about…about sex. Sex was private. Between two people only. That was partially why it was so special, why it was called 'intimacy' or 'love making.' Adding another to the room just…ruined it.

But did he have to talk about that? After all, he hadn't actually…done anything. And, with friends, you talked about that sort of stuff, right? Maybe that's why he didn't have many friends. Because he never confided in anyone. That would go with what he had observed in his psychology studies and when working out ways to get people to confide stories in him for his research.

And did he even want this frumpy hippy as his friend?

…yes.

He pulled up his feet, somehow feeling more dressed than just his boxer briefs if he had his feet between his crotch and Yasu's position on the floor.

"She agreed to marry me."

Yasu's eyes popped in his direction. "No way."

Kazuya gave him a hesitant smile. He was feeling very out of his comfort zone. The guy was sure to comment on his age, say it was too early, ask how long they had known each other or why he hadn't even bothered to get a ring-

But Yasu surprised him by standing up and thumping him hard on the back.

"Way to go boss! You must have some serious stuff!"

Kazuya shrugged him off, trying and failing to keep his smile down. "I did nothing. She's just…" He blanched. He couldn't tell Yasu she had technically been the one to suggest it.

But Yasu must have been too eager to keep Kazuya talking to him, for he just gave him a thumbs up and asked, "So, did she really just fall asleep? You couldn't have gotten engaged if she just passed out the moment you got there."

"No, we…talked. She…she didn't like the idea of me sleeping on the floor and she said she had missed me, so she wanted to, uh, share a bed with me—"

"Ooooo-OOOOOOOH!"

"Shut up! Nothing happened, okay? We didn't even kiss."

"What? Oh, come on, really? She asked you to sleep with her!"

Kazuya wondered if one's face could get permanently stained red and tried to hide it behind his arm while looking casual. "Not like that, but that's exactly why I said no. I didn't—I didn't want anything to happen." At Yasu's incredulous look, he shouted, "I have morals!"

"Okay, okay, I get it, marriage before carriage or horse and babies and—you jumped in the ocean to get rid of a hard on, didn't you?"

"Just shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about this anymore, I'm sorry I even started."

"Okay, yes, then, yes you did—that's hilarious. What, did she still want you to sleep with her? Is that why she agreed to marry you? So you'd sleep in the same bed as her?"

"Yasu, shut up or I'll make you. You're making this all sound way worse than it actually is."

"Oh my god, she did!? She hauled you in there, didn't she? Probably fell asleep on you and—oh Lord, she was wearing your clothes, that mean she didn't have a bra—"

Kazuya snatched up one of his shoes and chucked it at him with all of his strength. Unfortunately, Yasu dodged it, laughing and somehow looking sympathetic all at the same time.

"I'm sorry, man, she probably has no idea, especially if she's never had to—she's never been with a guy, right?"

"Of course not," said Kazuya, his other shoe already in hand. "I mean, she's—I thought I said shut up?"

"Wow, I think this is the first time I've actually seen you act your age. You're so cute!"

The other shoe missed him too, but that was because Kazuya was too mortified to aim correctly.

He changed his mind. He didn't want to have friends his age. You just didn't call another guy cute—you just didn't. And it was horrible enough to experience the whole contained lusts without having someone laugh at you for it.

But, for some reason, when the two had finally settled down for the night, Kazuya felt a little better about the situation. He hadn't realized he had been afraid that he was an abnormal, sick pervert just because she…attracted him so much. Somehow, having Yasu treat it like he did made him feel…normal.

And feeling normal was a feeling Kazuya, child prodigy from birth, certainly was not use to feeling.

"Yasu?"

"Mmhmm?"

"…I'm sorry for throwing my shoes at you."

"It's cool."

He would have said thanks, but then he'd have to explain why he was saying it, and Kazuya knew that he had done all the social experimentation he could handle for the night.

He must have only just nodded off when the ship suddenly lurched to the side, toppling Kazuya onto the floor and sending Yasu sliding into a wall. The lights flickered.

"What the hell—" Yasu yelped as the ship begun tilting back.

But Kazuya was already to his feet on his way to the door. He caught himself on the handle just as the ship continued tipping up the other direction, sending cot and boy in sleeping bag back across the room and into the freezers.

"It's the kraken!" Yasu screeched.

"Fire up the engines!" yelled Kazuya, before throwing himself up the stairs. Sea spray splashed into his face from the dark night outside, and he could hear cries of alarm from the rooms above.

Outside, the air glowed about him as the deck lights reflected off of thick, smoke-like mist.

Fear. Cold, simple, and sharp, spiked into his gut.

"Lin!" He screamed, sprinting towards the stairs. "Get us out! Get us out!"

The boat pitched with another wave, slamming him into the railing. That'd leave a nasty bruise in the morning.

Somewhere within, the engines gave a coughing start. Doors on the upper level thwacked open.

"Oy! What's going on?!"

"Takigawa!" Kazuya hollered, pulling himself along the railing as the boat pitched to the other side and down the wave. "Get everyone tied down!"

"Kazuya, what's happening?!" yelled Ayako.

"Just get tied down! Quick!"

And he reached the stairs. The boat reared up, nearly flattening Kazuya against the steps in his attempts to stay on. The engine beneath pitched louder, grinding for control. Behind he could hear the left open doors thwacking against the walls again.

He had to reach Mai.

At the top of the stairs, he barely caught the sight of Takigawa holding Ayako to the wall as he finished up a knot before the boat reached the crescent of the wave and tipped over.

The door to the control room snapped open. "Kazuya!"

He saw it as though in slow motion: Takigawa's arm bulging to hold on to the tie downs on the wall. Ayako's hair flying up past her screaming face like red seaweed. The glimmer of the seawater on the deck lights as it came down, like a crystal rain shower.

And Mai, at the end, wearing only his over-sized T-shirt, her face turned up to the water, and nothing holding her in place.

Lin's iron-like arm snapped about his middle.

Then his world turned upside down.

Water beat about him like a herd of bulls, rushing about him, flipping him end on end. Bits of what had to be his boat thwacked against him with enough force to break bones. The flickering lights of his ship played across his eyes until he couldn't tell if his eyes were closed, open, or not there at all. He couldn't tell if the bar around his waist was Lin anymore, or if it was a bar of the railing of his ship pinning him down, drowning him beneath the bulk of the sea.

And then there was air.

He hacked, coughed, regressed to his most basic needs for survival.

Behind him he heard the heavy breaths of Lin above the waves.

And through one last flicker of light beneath the water, Kazuya saw what would haunt him forever.

The belly of his boat, the propellers at the end still puttering. And the silhouette of the rest of her beneath the water.

Capsized.

"Hold on!" yelled Lin.

For they were shrinking—no, the walls of water around them were growing. They roared like a vast animal, watery arms reaching high to come crashing down atop them.

And all Kazuya could think about was that he had left Yasu down in the engine room. He hadn't told him to tie up.

And Takigawa and Ayako—were they stuck beneath the ship now? Knotted and trapped in the dark?

The tops of the waves began to fall, sprinkling heavy rain atop their heads.

"MAI!"

The great arm of water pounded down, snuffing out the lone light of his ship, smashing Lin and him infinitely deep into the water below.

Down. Down. Down to the endless, unknowable deep.