A/N: You know, it is getting very difficult to figure out what to say when I reach certain goals. I feel like a simple "thank you" is not nearly enough to express my gratitude to you guys. We hit 400 reviews and… I honestly have no words to show how happy I am. Ever since I joined this website and began writing, it was always my dream to get as many reviews as possible. Once a story hit 100, I aimed for 200, once 200 then 300 and so on and so forth. I never imagined that this story would reach 400, and that number is only increasing. I know it's not much, but each and every one of you has my gratitude and I will continue doing my best with these chapters.
Thanks to Iatchkeyo, Mdfgjsxf and Lunessa Mysteria for following this story and/or adding this story as a favorite!
Reviews
Queens and Snakes- Since I live in San Jose, we only get earthquakes here and it's been years since I remember feeling one so vividly. There have been a couple of tremors here and there, but nothing as scary as a real one. So, yeah it is scary and unpredictable, but I feel like they're not very common (as are most natural disasters I think).
Shadowmist Of ShadowClan- In my opinion, I feel like tornadoes and tsunamis are the scariest. I think they sort of relate to my fears? I'm scared of heights and tornadoes- if you can survive the wind pressure- can send you flying into the air, while tsunamis are self-explanatory. I don't know how to swim, so I honestly don't think I could ever survive one. Eh, that's just me though.
Nightsky of FlameClan- I know right? They're just so adorable lol. I agree with you, though I've never experienced one in my life (and I hope I never have to). Here's the next chapter!
Warriors27- Every natural disaster is scary, there are some that are just a bit scarier though haha. Yes, they are cute together, even if it is against the rules.
CloverBudgie- Yes, yes it is. And yes, they are very cute together haha. Sootpaw is a very devoted friend, that's one of the characteristics I like about him. Yeah, Rowanpaw is a jerk. I get it and I agree, volcanic eruptions are pretty scary.
Key Steps- Well, Sootpaw didn't shut Rowanpaw up, Flarepaw did. Yeah it's true; any natural disaster can be devastating, hence the name I guess.
Mad Hat Dragon- Yeah, natural disasters are terrifying, each in their own way. Sorry, as of now, all the character submissions are ordered to appear some time soon. If you'd like though, you can submit just one.
Jaguarstar (Guest)- That's… yeah that is pretty scary haha. I never thought about it that way.
GreyWhisker (Guest)- I think a tornado is slightly scarier than a volcanic eruption, mostly because tornadoes are a bit more common than an eruption.
Pebblewish- That's a good thing, it means I did a good job at writing that chapter lol.
Depression (Guest)- Sorry about that, let's hope we get a happy Sootpaw sometime soon. Thank you. Any natural disaster that has the word "super" or something similar to it in front of it is terrible.
Purplesheets (Guest)- I would have to agree with you on that, that is pretty scary to think about. Thank you for joining along for the ride!
A Warrior at Heart- I wish we can all give our little Sootpaw a hug right now. I hold no regrets for what I'm making him go through… okay, maybe I have some regrets. It is very hard to write him upset like this, but I guess I'll have to get used to it. Thank you! Sootflare for life.
Slytherin Buttercat- Mhm, I agree. They are good for each other, although I can name a handful of those who disagree. Thank you! Everybody loves Sootflare XD. I know, if there is one thing I want to make obvious, it is that their hierarchical society is very unfair. Yes, Low Ranks are required to attend a High Ranks funeral. To put it simply, the funeral of a low rank is held where they are buried (normally in the middle of nowhere), while the funeral of a high rank is in the middle of camp. I think it would be very surprising if there were no repercussions for her actions, you'll just have to wait and see. That is true: earthquakes can cause other natural disasters, so I guess they are very harmful as well.
The Unnamed Guest- I don't mind long reviews, lol. I love reading what everybody writes. Yeah… worth it? I don't think so. Thank you and yes, bright sunset is definitely better than dull sunset because that means a happy Sootpaw. We'll see more about what he feels in this chapter. Rowanpaw is a mini-Wildfire. I guess yeah, Rowanpaw doesn't really know any better since he wasn't taught any better. Here she comes to save the day! It is hard to stop yourself from breaking down, and it is very unhealthy, which is why Flarepaw wanted to encourage him to do it. Eventually, one would start breaking from the inside… much like Flarepaw did. I'm glad someone noticed that small connection I wanted to make; the only difference with their situations (yes, Rainwind forever) is that Windpaw doesn't scare her clanmates for her own reasons… she does it to protect Rainpaw (in more ways than one, and this'll be explained later). On the other hand, Flarepaw does it only to protect what makes her happy (a.k.a… Sootpaw). I'd… have to agree with you on that. The possibility of getting hurt in any scenario is terrifying. Have fun wherever you're going! It's fine if you don't get time to review. Thank you! And aww, thanks for thinking this is perfection. I'm always trying to find ways to improve until I personally think I've reached perfection, got a long way to go until then.
Shadowdapple of Thunderclan- I'm scared of tsunamis simply for the fact that if I were to ever be in one, I would be powerless since I have no idea how to swim. I want a happy Sootpaw back too, let's hope we get him back soon. But yes, it is nice to see Flarepaw standing up for the both of them.
WolfFang-Of-Windclan: Sorry? Lol thank you! It's been my dream to be a real author of my own books… maybe someday? Our little girl is growing up and finally doing what she wants, I'm so proud haha. SAME, I have to have that fear too. Mostly for the fact that I can't swim. Very fun.
Thanks to everybody who reviewed, followed, and/or added this story as a favorite!
And thank you so much for 400 reviews!
Let's get started!
…
"Don't say it Bluepaw!"
"I'm gonna get you out of here!"
"Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!"
"Please… please don't leave me…"
"...I'm sorry… I'm so sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sor-"
A choking gasp tore through his throat as he opened his eyes, the sunset burning with petrified shock. The repeated apology danced at the tip of his tongue, begging for release before it was replaced with a small whimper. He didn't know if he had been speaking in his sleep, crying out to the world with a sorrowful fright tainting his voice. His chest ached with the painful and desperate wheezing as he attempted to catch his breath. Unbeknownst to him, his body shivered against the nest; quivering with the need to run. Run to his friends in need. Run away from this pain that clung to his heart. Run away from everything.
The wound on his soul, his very being, still made him curl against himself in agony. The pieces of himself that left with his deceased friends made their presence known all the more in his delicate state of mind, a hollow sort of emptiness that grew bigger the longer they were gone.
Wasn't he supposed to feel better after crying?
Even now, as he lay quivering, he could feel his tears trailing from his eyes, unrestrained now that he initially released his hold on them. The images of his friends flashed repeatedly in front of him, torturing him with their replication of their deaths. The final words Bluewing shared with him. The last time he ever saw Shrewtail smile.
Bluewing...Shrewtail…
How dare the Grand Royal have the audacity to ruin their names? How dare he give them what they longed for at the cost of their lives? To the tom, it seemed simply disrespectful to give them Warrior names when they weren't around to wear them with what little pride a Commoner could have.
His ache and sorrow momentarily shifted to pure rage, much like it had when he lashed out at the boulder during those moments. Anger he could deal with. Anger was manageable and could be acted on. Anger replaced the tears he loathed. Yes, Sootpaw prefered to feel rage rather than sorrow.
But the fear he felt from waking up from that nightmare mixed unpleasantly with it, a frothing concoction that made his insides twist and turn.. So when he felt something press against his back, all he could do was flinch before his previous anger took over- forcing him to whip around in an attempt to defend himself from whoever was there. His unsheathed claws barely nicked across the smooth surface of skin, but it was more than enough for him as he scrambled backwards in his fright.
The grey fur of the Commoner bristled as he sat at the opposite edge of the nest he was in, his shoulders stiff and pants painfully audible. His blurred vision filled with tears and exhaustion of restless nights slowly cleared up as he blinked, finally finding it much easier to breathe now that he was sitting rather than on his side. Only now, having calmed down a miniscule amount, could he actually hear the soothing voice that spoke to him.
"Sootpaw, you're okay. You're okay, it was just a nightmare. You're safe…. You're safe here, with me. I'm not going anywhere, you're safe."
Why does that sound so familiar?
His head, that had somehow lowered in his panting state, rose slowly. A gasp escaped his lips, but for an entirely different reason this time. A figure of shaded amber was there, a blaze of white spreading across their chest, and somewhere in the mix of color, a silver that glimmered with concern stared back at him.
The one standing a few pawsteps away from him was none other than Flarepaw.
And spreading across her left cheek was a small cut that held small droplets of blood.
Everything came rushing back to him in an instant, the resulting clash of emotions causing him to flinch and stumble if he were to stand. Flarepaw was comforting him, trying to create an environment where he felt secure, where the thoughts of his nightmares could never reach him. Here she was, risking everything just to make him feel better; her rank, her reputation, perhaps even her life. And in the midst of his panic, he had lashed out at her. Her quick reflexes must have been enough for her to avoid a more painful wound, but it must of been her surprise that caused her to be hit in the first place. As grateful as he was for the fact that she avoided a greater injury, it still didn't change one thing.
He was the one he hurt her.
"Flarepaw… I-I'm sorry… I'm so sorry I-"
The Grand Royal apprentice said nothing as she stepped forward, swiftly closing the distance before he could pull away in panic. Ashamed at what he had done, he apologized repeatedly- pressing his forehead against her shoulder and reluctantly leaning against her for support when his body suddenly felt heavier. Sootpaw's form began to shiver once more, but her warmth was there to combat the chills that suddenly overtook him. His breaths began taking on their more panicked state, but her unique scent of wild roses was quick to calm his nerves. As he voiced his fear, his pain, his apologies, she was there to listen- tenderly nuzzling the top of his head in the same way she did the day before and reassuring him that everything was okay. He didn't even know he was crying until the tears stopped.
As he quieted down and cleared his parched throat, they remained in their comforting embrace. Sootpaw sought out her warmth, breathing her scent in deeply- almost desperately. In the midst of the sudden darkness that took over his life, she was the beacon of light there to secure him, to shelter him. She was the flame that brightened the path before him, known both for its destructive nature and mollifying warmth. She was the spark- the ember of hope within the ashes of despair. And he had hurt her.
"I'm sorry…" He repeated weakly, trying and failing to raise his head to look her in the eyes. His head resting on her shoulder rose and fell when it did as she sighed heavily, giving his torn ear a gentle lick before whispering.
"It's fine. I'm okay… and so are you."
The tom nodded gently, barely moving his head against her as he let out another shuddering breath. Flarepaw gave another soft lick to his ear, content with sitting there for however long Sootpaw needed to. She didn't question him about his nightmare or his thoughts, never pushing him to speak about it unless he initiated that conversation. For now, she just wanted him to breathe.
The tom did just that, closing his eyes and taking in another deep breath. His shuddering slowly ceased the more he took in her scent, the small whimpers that had escaped his lips quieting down before disappearing altogether. The fresh memories of the nightmare dwindled, wisping away from the forefront of his mind and disappearing to the back of it. When the tom found it easier to relax, he slowly found the strength to lift his head from her shoulder. Sootpaw was reluctant to meet her gaze, still shamefaced about having struck out at her.
"Better?"
"...I'm sorry…"
"You don't need to apologize anymore, Sootpaw. I hardly even notice it, you just… surprised me."
The tom lifted his gaze from his paws to those silver-blue eyes of hers. The caring heart she possessed- but so desperately tried to hide- was visible through the way she looked at him. There was something… different. For a few moments, all he could do was stare, trying desperately to decipher what it was that was unfamiliar. But, when a gentle grin suddenly found its way onto her face, his own lips quirked at what he was seeing.
The real Flarepaw. The one hidden underneath her mask of stoic expressions and haughty scowls. The one he previously only received glimpses of, revealing that there was indeed someone underneath it. The one that he had made it his mission to see.
A warm sense of accomplishment momentarily replaced his heartache the longer her grin remained.
Even as she turned away to grab something behind her, Sootpaw felt his own smile threaten to show when she still remained. The real one. It made his heart soar as he looked at the peaceful expression on her face, the grin gone but still showing signs of having been there. He didn't know that she said something until she was suddenly looking back at him. A teasing smile took the place of her tranquil grin, a mischievous spark brightening the storm.
"Whenever you're done staring," a small chuckle escaped her lips as she motioned down to her paws, a thin squirrel that was plump when compared to what the Hunting Patrols had been bringing in. Aside from the blizzards and freezing nights, Leaf-bare was all the more noticeable with the ever-decreasing pile of fresh-kill. What was in front of him now was rare to find and even harder to catch during this season. "I figured you would have some sort of appetite when you woke up. Since I was already out there, I thought it would be a waste to not spend time hunting."
"You… caught this?"
"It wasn't easy. I almost lost it twice. Hunting has never been one of my strongest skills."
"You caught this… for me?"
Flarepaw blinked at him momentarily before her smile grew, a casual tilt to her head. "I'm giving it to you, aren't I?"
Sootpaw found it difficult to imagine; the fiery Grand Royal apprentice dutifully hunting an elusive squirrel… for him. As his stomach growled, making him aware of his hunger, all he could do was send her a bashful smile and a quiet thank you before accepting the squirrel. As he began to eat in silence, she busied herself by grooming her paws- most likely brushing off the last stray pieces of snow from her hunt.
"What time is it?"
"Almost Sunhigh. Don't worry, I spoke with Whiteshadow and he says you and the other Commoners are excused from training for however long you need it."
"Does… anybody know I'm here?"
"Not that I know of. If they do, they're not doing anything about it, so I doubt it. Ashtail and Blazefang have chosen to remain quiet."
"Thanks to your not-so-subtle threats."
"...They deserve it."
Sootpaw couldn't help but let a chuckle escape at that. Flarepaw's actions of defending him against the Noble was surprising, even to him. It was reckless, even for him, but that didn't mean he was any less grateful for it. It was very clear how much power the she-cat had over them, their fear of her strength and wrath overpowering their want to tell the Grand Royal. Even if they did tell someone, it would be her word- the word of a Grand Royal apprentice- against theirs. It was obvious who they would believe. At least, Sootpaw hoped, they were safe- as long as nobody else caught sight of them.
What would be the worst that could happen to them? According to Flarepaw, the possibilities were endless. Demotion, imprisonment, exile, execution. All of it was left up to the Grand Royal; but, considering how easily he was forced when it came time to punish them so long ago with Target Practice, Sootpaw knew the clan- or more specifically, the High Ranks- had much more of a say to it than he did. The Commoner could only shudder at the thought of Flarepaw's father being the one to order for her execution.
"You're doing it again."
"What?"
"You're overthinking too much," Flarepaw replied casually, speaking as though it was the most obvious thing. Sootpaw blinked at her before looking down at the half-eaten squirrel in his paws, blowing out a heavy sigh.
"I just… I'm worried."
"About?"
"About you." He lifted his gaze, a smoldering sincerity burning within them as he voiced his concerns. "Flarepaw, I appreciate everything you're doing for me, I really do. But what's going to happen to you if someone finds out you're friends with someone like me? You said it yourself- there are plenty of things they can do. Aren't you worried about what everybody would think?"
"Hmm… nope." She shrugged casually, resting on her side and yawning as if she were bored.
"Flarepaw." His tone was exasperated, almost disbelieving. How could she not worry? He already felt guilty for what could happen. The she-cat opened one of her silver eyes to look at him.
"I already told you last night… I don't care. I don't care what the clan will do to me. I don't care what the clan thinks of me anymore. I don't care about my father's opinions or what he will do to me. I don't care about ruining my image." With each sentence, her voice grew stronger, almost bitter as she sat up again. Staring down at her paws, Sootpaw felt his panic rise again when the pieces of her mask tried putting itself back together.
Another apology was at the tip of his tongue, waiting to burst out. Please don't put your mask back on, anything is better than that. I don't want you to put your mask back on, you deserve better than that.
Almost as if she heard him, Flarepaw quickly shook her head- dispelling any pieces that already made their way on her face. In an instant, her soft smile returned as she looked back at him. She was trying, trying so very hard to take off her mask. Only now could he see the hesitance lingering within her eyes, the small spark of fear. She was scared, scared of being rejected for who she was rather than what she was. How long had she been forced to put on that mask? It was almost as if she herself didn't know who was the one behind that mask.
"I just want you to be okay… I don't want anything happening to you because of me."
"And it won't be because of you. If anything happens, just know it was because of a decision I made. Now, stop fretting about me and focus on getting better. You can stay here for the rest of the day, but I have to go training so you'll be alone. There's also a Gathering tomorrow night, so I won't be here."
Sootpaw nodded absentmindedly, listening to her words as he finished the squirrel. He hadn't expected her to stay with him the entire time, but it still left him slightly disappointed. She had other responsibilities as a Grand Royal apprentice, responsibilities that he could never understand- but would never ask her to avoid.
When she licked the top of his head, he rose his gaze to hers in surprise. In response, the she-cat sent him another grin before turning away and padding to the entrance of her den. Sootpaw could only stare after her.
"Get better soon, Sootpaw. Take all the time you need."
Without him realizing it, a smile wormed its way onto his face- a miniscule version to how it used to be. But it was a start. He didn't know how long it would take for him to feel better. But this was a start. Every journey had a beginning, and this was his.
Tomorrow is going to be even better than today, I've decided that right now.
Tomorrow is going to be better.
…
While the occupants of Blazeclan's oak forest were spared of the chillier winds, the spaced out willow trees in Stormclan's territory were less forgiving. The simplest of breezes brought along the chills of the snow, forcing everybody inside the warmth of their dens. Warriors that had previously spaced themselves apart from the others now shuffled their nests close to the middle of the group, close enough for their fur to brush their fellow clan mates.
Those who had solitary dens weren't so lucky.
Windpaw's body curled into a tight ball, trying to block out any stray winds that wisped through the barrier of her den. It was a restless sleep, her nest having been pulled towards the back of her den, farthest from the entrance. None of it helped. The cold breezes that found their way inside sent shivers down her spine, forcing her to twist and turn to find a more comfortable position of rest. If she didn't know any better, she could've sworn she was still outside. A sudden warmth seemed to envelop her, and a drowsy purr made its presence known from within her chest.
The she-cat felt herself startled awake from her restless sleep, a gentle prodding and shaking of her shoulder forcing her to lift her head from where it was hidden underneath her tail. The Grand Royal apprentice blinked the daze from her eyes, squinting into the darkness before seeing an all-too-familiar pair of playful blue eyes. With her vision slowly clearing up from its blurry state, only now was Windpaw able to see the other she-cat's blue-grey fur as she settled beside her. That's why it became warm. Her copper colored eyes blinked in confusion, her brows furrowing slightly as she bit back a yawn.
"Rainpaw?" Her voice was raspy with exhaustion, the yawn she had tried holding in escaping as she stretched against her nest slightly. The other she-cat did nothing more but blink down at her. "What are you-"
"Go on a walk with me."
"What?" Windpaw's brows furrowed even more. Had she just heard that correctly? Surely not even Rainpaw would go out into the freezing temperatures-
"Go on a walk with me." The she-cat's light blue eyes glimmered with a youthful innocence, her tone light as she spoke with a smile.
"Rainpaw, it's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep."
"Okay~ If you don't want to come, I guess I'll just go by myself then."
With those parting words, Rainpaw stood up from her spot and turned- leaving the den and taking her warmth with her. Windpaw sighed softly, settling back down and closing her eyes in an attempt to fall back into a restless sleep. Rainpaw wouldn't do that, she's just bluffing… Wait… Sleep was just within her grasp before her copper eyes shot open, her body acting in a similar manner as she sat up suddenly. Her eyes were wide for a few seconds before she scrambled to her paws, nearly tripping in the process of her race to catch up with Rainpaw. This wouldn't be the first time she would do something like this out of nowhere.
As soon as she made it out, it was to be greeted with the chilly winds and the sight of Rainpaw already half-way across camp on her trek outside. No guards were stationed at the front, the clan trusting enough that their natural water barrier and the cold winds to keep any trespassers away. Racing forward, the drowsy apprentice called out to the blue furred she-cat.
"Hold up!"
"Oh? You're coming?" Rainpaw's eyes glimmered with unsuppressed joy, a knowing smile on her face. She knew I would come after her… the little jerk...
A scowl found its way onto Windpaw's face. "You're insane if you think I'm letting you go out of camp alone in the middle of night."
"Well, thank you for joining me."
"Don't remind me."
Rainpaw giggled happily as she turned, leading the way out of camp and across the land-bridge, into the frozen willow forest. The cold was much more prominent now that they were out of camp, forcing Windpaw to shuffle close to the smaller she-cat as she hummed a happy tune, a lively skip in her step. Those light blue eyes were directed towards the twinkling stars, those of which were uncovered from the clouds tonight. The grey furred she-cat looked away only when she realized she was staring, clearing her throat lightly as she surveyed the land.
"Tell me again why you decided to go on a walk now of all times."
A moment of silence passed between the two before Rainpaw spoke up, a certain hesitance to her otherwise happy tone. That, along with the words, made Windpaw's worry spike.
"I needed to get out of my den."
The grey furred apprentice eyed Rainpaw as she continued walking, feigning nonchalance as she continued humming. Windpaw couldn't remember the last time the blue she-cat suddenly felt the need to escape from the confinements of her den. Whenever Rainpaw ran away with such a panic, Windpaw and Bluepaw were always there at her side before she could do something reckless. Her panic attacks were few and far between- them having been more common when she was first found all those moons ago- but whenever they did happened, the grey apprentice always made sure she was there.
Even after all this time, we simply can't escape your dark past, can we?
Windpaw was brought out of her thoughts when they entered an enclosed meadow. To her surprised, with the way the trees were positioned, it was warmer than most other areas, the sky right above their heads and an open area just for them to see. The copper-eyed she-cat remained near the treeline, watching with a small frown as Rainpaw continued walking- finally coming to a stop. The blue furred apprentice planted her paws on the ground, standing in the middle of the area and looking around with a smile. Raising an eyebrow, Windpaw spoke uncertainly.
"And… you're okay now?"
Her breath hitched, catching in her throat as Rainpaw twirled around in her spot- rendering her dumbstruck as she gave her a brilliant smile. The blue apprentice spoke in a truthful tone that left little to no room for doubt in her words.
"Definitely, now that you're here."
After her lungs began to properly respond to her, the she-cat let out a heavy exhale before turning away bashfully. Rainpaw's animated giggles reached her ears, finding clear amusement at her reaction. Still, despite the joyous tone she used, Windpaw couldn't help but feel as though there was another meaning to her words. I haven't been there for her… not until now. Only just recently did the two begin talking again- their relationship fragile ever since the fox attack. A few days ago, Bluepaw had attempted to talk to Windpaw again. Key word: attempted.
The result of what was supposed to be a simple conversation- a screaming match between the two that only stopped because of the stares of their clan mates.
Despite not knowing if Windpaw would ever be able to speak normally with the blue tom, she was surprised to know that Rainpaw was once again allowed to speak with the grey she-cat. The apprentice was grateful for the opportunity to prove to Bluepaw that she would protect his sister, but it wasn't very easy picking up right where they left off. Windpaw still held guilt for the attack, even if Rainpaw didn't blame her. It's going to take a while before things are better between all three of us.
"Come here."
Rainpaw, having seen the sudden conflicted expression on her partner's face, called out to her in a gentle tone. Windpaw remained where she was, the frown remaining on her face before she let out a heavy sigh. After a few seconds, her body began moving towards the other she-cat. She could never say no to Rainpaw. Joining her side, the copper-eyed apprentice took a while before meeting her light blue eyes.
"Now what?"
"What else?" Rainpaw's brilliant smile appeared once more. "We look at the stars."
Flopping onto her back, the blue apprentice giggled at the dumbfounded expression on Windpaw's face, staring at her expectantly. The grey she-cat sighed heavily, laying down much more gracefully than Rainpaw had. Their heads remained parallel, their bodies spreading out in opposite directions. A comfortable silence brushed over them as their eyes searched the stars. Windpaw was the first to break the silence.
"Tell me again why we're here?"
"I just wanted to look at the stars."
"And you couldn't do this at camp?"
"It's not as clear there as it is out here."
"You do realize it's freezing right now, right?"
"Nope." Rainpaw tilted her head to the side, just enough to see Windpaw's face. "I have you here. It's never cold with you around."
Windpaw stubbornly kept her eyes on the stars despite how much she wanted to meet her partner's gaze. Her pelt heated up at her words, but a frown still made its way onto her face. There she goes again… making me realize how much I'm never by her side. Once more, the silence became dominant as the winds blew slowly. At one point, Rainpaw moved her eyes back up towards the sky, her own frown flickering across her face. Light blue eyes fluttering from one light to the next, searching with no clue as to what it was she was looking for. Her voice was soft as she breathed out a sigh.
"I'm tired, Windpaw."
"You're the one who wanted to go on a walk in the middle of the night. Let's go back to camp where you can sleep-"
"Not in that way… I'm not sleepy tired."
Windpaw, who had sat up while she spoke, blinked down at her curiously. "Then, what do you mean?"
"I'm tired… of not being able to make decisions of my own. I'm tired of everyone else making decisions for me."
"Rainpaw, you have the power to make your own choices."
"But I don't." Rainpaw sat up as well, a desperate look appearing in her eyes. "All my life, there was always someone making decisions for me. Bluepaw, the Grand Royal, my father… Haze…"
"Rainpaw-"
"They always made decisions that suited them, telling me that it was for my own good. They never asked about what I wanted. They never cared if I was happy or not, if I want to do it or not."
Windpaw shuffled the weight on her paws, stepping just a bit closer in an attempt to comfort the she-cat that was close to tears from her desperation. The copper-eyed apprentice was never good at comforting someone, even if it felt as though she was doing it all the time with Rainpaw. No matter how many times she was there to calm the she-cat's hysterics, she felt as though it had nothing to do with her presence. She could offer no words to brush away her worries, choosing to remain silent. Even if she did speak, she almost always made it worse.
"From now on, I'm going to make decisions that I want to make. It's my turn to do what I want."
The smaller she-cat met Windpaw's gaze, a nervous smile making its way onto her face.
"Starting with this."
Without another word, the blue apprentice leaned forward, giving Windpaw a gentle, affectionate lick to her muzzle. The grey apprentice could do nothing more but widen her eyes, frozen to her spot as Rainpaw hovered close by, gauging her reaction. How long? How long had Windpaw wanted her to do that? Spluttering, the she-cat attempted to form her words.
"R-Rainpaw."
"Yes?"
"Did you just…?"
"Yes."
There was still hesitation present within her as Windpaw searched her eyes. Kindling within her was an age-long fear the grey apprentice had when she first started falling for the guileless she-cat. Fear that she would be rejected, fear that Rainpaw was just humoring her, fear that she wasn't good enough for the blue apprentice. All her fears were trampled by the gentle, affectionate look in Rainpaw's eyes.
Slowly, uncertainly, Windpaw leaned forward, gently nuzzling Rainpaw as a delighted purr made its presence known when the blue apprentice pressed closer to her. Their purrs filtered through the air, creating a symphony of soft sighs. All too soon, the two pulled away from each other, Rainpaw sitting back down in her spot with a gentle smile on her face. Neither said anything; Windpaw too busy trying to calm her rapidly beating heart and Rainpaw shifting to lay on her side, her head raised as she glanced at the she-cat.
"I had to do that. At least once."
"Mmm…"
The peaceful silence that followed suit gave Windpaw the time to repeat what just transpired in her mind. The smile that threatened to appear on her face caused her lips to quirk slightly. Rainpaw let out a content hum, glancing up towards the stars again.
"Hey, Windpaw?"
"Yeah?"
"Will you go on a journey with me?"
"What?" Windpaw blinked, a different kind of panic taking over her as she nearly shouted. "You're telling me you want to leave the clan?"
"No! No, by all the stars, no." Rainpaw let out a loose laughter, rolling onto her back with a few giggles. Windpaw pouted slightly, grumbling under her breath and trying not to curl up in embarrassment from her outburst.
"Then what's this about a journey?"
Rainpaw's giggles were always quick to calm her nerves, the she-cat sending a warm smile up at Windpaw- who remained sitting.
"You were scared I was going to leave?"
"...Of course…" Windpaw mumbled, turning away slightly with a frown on her face. She wouldn't be able to survive if Rainpaw suddenly left without warning. It hurt the first time she disappeared, suddenly taken away by rogues. It would kill her if Rainpaw left by choice.
"Don't worry. I could never leave you."
"Then… what did you mean?"
The blue she-cat sighed softly, moving her gaze away from Windpaw and back to the stars. She bit her lip nervously, her brows furrowing slightly before she spoke in a quiet voice. Windpaw was close enough to hear, and what she said made her freeze.
"Do you remember… when I was taken as a kit?" If Rainpaw saw the way Windpaw's shoulders stiffen, she didn't comment on it. "By those rogues?"
"How could I forget?" Windpaw felt a growl mix with her words, her fur bristling slightly and claws unsheathing. If those rogues were in front of her, she would be fine with tearing them apart limb-by-limb. What they did to Rainpaw… what they did to a little kit… it was simply unforgivable.
"Well, it wasn't that bad. I'm fine now."
"Sure… it just left you-" Windpaw was the one to cut herself off this time. But Rainpaw heard. Moving her eyes away from the stars, the smaller apprentice spoke in a soft tone, feigning nonchalance once more.
"It just left me a bit crazy, right?"
"Well, I wouldn't use the word crazy. It… it just left you… different?"
"Different." Rainpaw tried out the word, chuckling soon after. "That's a nice way of putting it."
"...I'm sorry…" Windpaw looked away awkwardly, her ears flattening.
"Don't be, it's just the truth."
"Yes, well, we're all a little crazy in our own way."
Rainpaw chuckled again, seemingly pleased at how Windpaw was trying to make her feel better. Yes, the experience she went through left her different. It wasn't normal with how she couldn't stand being alone, her memories and thoughts threatening to consume her at every possible chance. It wasn't normal with how she suddenly felt the urges to run- run far away from everything before she could be harmed again.
"Anyways. The tom that took me… Haze… he taught me a lot about many different things. One thing I remember… he told me that… life is a journey. A journey that is full of hardships and obstacles, bad times, good times. He told me that in order to make myself feel better about a bad situation, I just have to look at it and say 'it could've been worse.' Every situation could've turned out worse than what the outcome was. I could've died in that fox attack, but here I am. We are always going to hit a wall, many walls in our journey. But those walls should never completely stop the journey altogether."
Windpaw remained quiet, eyeing the she-cat before Rainpaw turned to meet her gaze once more. There was a wistful spark in those light blue eyes, causing the grey she-cat to flinch slightly. Windpaw would never understand the emotions the she-cat felt towards the rogues that took her, specifically Haze. According to her, Haze was the one to kidnap her, but he was always there to protect her. Of all of the rogues, Rainpaw always dreamed about him the most.
"So, Windpaw. Will you go on this journey with me?"
"Rainpaw… we could never- the clan will never accept… us. I mean, we're training to become the Grand Royal. That alone makes it impossible. Your brother hates me-"
"He doesn't hate you."
Windpaw blinked at her, giving her an incredulous look with a raised brow. Rainpaw chuckled almost nervously, looking away.
"He just… doesn't particularly like you."
"And another word for that is hate. We have a responsibility to the clan, we must always put if before what we want. And, my parents-"
Once more, Windpaw cut herself off, closing her eyes briefly with a light shake of her head. Rainpaw frowned, sitting back up. The grey apprentice almost never talked about her mother or her father, avoiding them at all costs when they were in camp. Her mother in particular was the one she avoided the most. Neither of them accepted their daughter for who she was, simply because she spoke to them about her feelings towards Rainpaw. The blue apprentice always felt guilty for the rift between Windpaw and her parents, but if Windpaw herself blamed her, she certainly didn't show it. She had said before that she didn't care about what her parents thought of her, choosing to ignore their entire existence rather than talk with them. But clearly, she missed them.
"You… still want their acceptance?"
"...Yeah. Unfortunately, I do. And if being a Grand Royal is finally going to make them proud enough to call me their daughter, then I'm going to do everything I can to get there. I don't have a choice."
Rainpaw stared at her for a few seconds before shuffling closer to her, sending Windpaw another grin that made her breath hitch. Just her presence alone was enough to bring a smile to the grey apprentice's face, make all her worries wisp away with the winds.
"You always have a choice. Besides, I'm not about to ask you to choose your dream of being a Grand Royal over me. I just… want to know that you'll always be there. So, I'll ask again, Windpaw- this time, I would like a yes or no." Rainpaw spoke in a light and playful tone, winking at her before taking in a deep breath to steady herself. "As long as be both shall live, will you stay by my side on this journey?"
Rainpaw gave the grey she-cat a few moments to think over her request. Windpaw stared at her, searching those light blue eyes for any sign of hesitance or regret. Finding none, it was easy for her to breathe out a sigh of relief before her signature smirk pulled at the corner of her lips. Leaning forward, Windpaw answered by brushing her muzzle across Rainpaw's again, whispering into her ear.
"That shouldn't even be a question coming from your lips," she pulled back enough to look into those light blue eyes, a playful spark lighting up her own copper color. "And why should I stop being by your side when we die? No no, Rainpaw. You're stuck with me even when we join our ancestors, and even to the next life."
"Woe is me," Rainpaw purred joyously, nuzzling Windpaw once more and letting out a shaky breath. "Thank you, Windpaw."
"No, thank you, Rainpaw." Windpaw licked the she-cat's muzzle before standing up, purring gently. "Now, let's go back to camp before we freeze to death and end our journey early."
"That wouldn't be much fun."
Rainpaw quickly stood up, padding by the grey she-cat's side and hesitantly twining their tails together as they made their way out of the clearing. The duo took off at a leisurely pace back in the direction of camp, neither of them rushing and simply reveling in the closeness of the other.
Yes, things between the two could've definitely turned out worse than now. Who knows what she would've done had Rainpaw died from the fox? Would she still be smiling like she was now? Purring and nuzzling the one she had fallen for?
It's going to take a while for everything to settle down and become normal, before everything is better.
But this, this is a great start.
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A/N: Daww… hooray for some Sootflare and Rainwind moments. Lol, I figured they deserved some kind of a break after all the heartache. Hope you guys enjoyed! And don't worry, for those of you who have missed Berrypaw, she'll be in the next chapter XD.
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Question of the Day
What is your favorite inspirational quote?
(Mine is "Stars can't shine without Darkness")
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Thank you and peace out!
~Wolfcreations18