'Forgive me if I were to stay silent
I just can't think of any words to show I feel
I wonder if someday I'll find the courage
Maybe then it would be too late...'
In the end, Anna didn't come back to the kitchen after excusing herself. It shouldn't have impacted Elsa badly; they lived under the same roof and would see each other for long hours every day. However, it wasn't until they were baking the first batch of cookies that she remembered it was the redhead that Rapunzel was last with.
Elsa had confronted the brunette about her change of mood right after passing by her mother down the hall, but the girl remained true to her words. "Nothing's wrong," she insisted, even though her smile was strained.
It made Elsa uneasy.
If her hunch was correct, then there was definitely something she needed to worry about. Maybe it was a stretch and only her pessimist talking, but if Rapunzel was this awkward and making a conscious effort to hide something, there must be something wrong.
"You okay, Elsa?"
Breath hitching as she heard the sudden interruption, Elsa's gloved hand rested on the head of the third snowgie—a baby snowman—she created. Her head was lowered, but she let her eyes drift upwards to see her brother sitting across her on their family's snow-filled yard.
"No," she blurted. "I-I me—"
"What's wrong?" Marshall asked, stopping whatever deluge of lame excuses Elsa would undoubtedly say.
Everything, she wanted to say then. Their parents hadn't talked to her even once ever since the previous night and they'd be leaving in a couple of days with Olaf, Senya, her Uncle Kai, and Rapunzel's parents. Why were they in Corona? Why after three years of not coming back? Not even during her birthday? Add to that the stress of the unknown reason for Rapunzel's guardedness and the looming conversation she and Anna would have to have since Alice's slip up.
There were many things that needed addressing, she could barely contain herself.
Elsa rubbed her temple with a barely constricted sigh. There was no way she could tell her brother that. She already knew what he thought about their parents, and there was no way he would know why Rapunzel was acting odd. It also wasn't his problem if she and Anna hadn't talked.
She, therefore, chose a topic that both of them could understand and something she wanted to talk about with him. "You didn't tell me about you and Ariel."
"T-That's... I wasn't sure how to say it."
"Did Anna know?" Anna told her she didn't know, but Elsa was curious. "When she took me home that one time, she said something about you courting Ariel."
"I think that was just something she blurted out." Marshall patted the soft snow around their feet and began building snowgies to join Elsa's little friends. "I'm positive she already had a crush on you then. Introducing her to Mom and Dad as my girlfriend might've been a blow to her pride."
"You... knew?"
"I told you, Elsa. You just didn't believe me."
"I," she paused, her eyes returning to the lumpy snow around her feet. "You were serious about lessening the damage to them, weren't you?"
"I wanted to stop." From the way his voice sounded mellow, afraid an increase in volume would change things drastically, Elsa knew he was telling the truth. "But I didn't want them to treat you the same way Cindy was treated when we were kids. Ariel said it was fine, but I... I ended up hurting her... in more ways than one."
To distract herself, Elsa made to build a snowman much bigger than the ones she already had. Maybe it was because she felt guilty about it again that she couldn't stop. Even if Ariel said she was grateful for her putting a stop to the bullying, she couldn't shake the feeling of being responsible for her brother's terrible actions.
"That's why I'm glad," Marshall continued. "I'm glad that that part of you didn't change. The girl who would always stand up against everything that's wrong? I don't know how to say it. I think I... I left it in your hands, you know? Dealing with them."
She pressed her lips together, forcibly pushing out the question, "What would you do if I didn't?"
Sighing, he poked the twigs on the head of his snowgie. "I don't know. Maybe even I haven't changed much. The same older brother who would leave everything in his little sister's hands." He chuckled humorlessly.
Her gaze dropped to the army of snowgies she and her brother made as she bit her lip.
Memories of their childhood replayed vividly in her head, of her and Marshall standing up for Cindy's sake. He would always be there to back her up or scare the other children away because he was older and taller, but being the twin sister and classmate, it was always her who acted first.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I was wrong. It wasn't you who needed help. It was me."
Elsa's mouth opened but no words came out. She closed it and broke eye contact, unable to hold his gaze.
"I know I'm not the best brother out there. All I did was comfort you when you're sad and... never did anything to stop the source of your problems. I always depended on someone else to make you happy. But I want you to know that I love you and that I'm trying."
His words lit up the burning flame behind Elsa's eyes. She had done enough crying for a lifetime, but it didn't matter. Marshall maneuvered his way to her side before kneeling and scooping her into a warm embrace. He kissed her temple and repeatedly stroke her back while she knelt there, laying her heart out for her brother to see.
It wasn't every day she could hear him say something along those lines. She knew from his actions, no matter how wrong, that he loved and cared for her deeply. But up until he said it, she didn't know how much she longed to hear those words. Maybe because she needed reassurance. Being left by herself right after Cindy died, she questioned her existence for a long time that it was difficult for her to think that she was worth anyone's love and affection.
"Thank you," she sobbed, circling her arms around his neck. A heat radiated from his skin, and judging by the way the back of her neck felt hot, he, too, was crying.
Out there in the middle of the night, waiting for Christmas to approach, Elsa and Marshall were crying like children. Maybe that was what they were, but at the time, no one cared. They knew that they were flawed, but they were willing to give their relationship another try.
Maybe he was right.
Maybe he wasn't the best brother out there, but he was more than Elsa could ever ask for.
The lights inside the house and from the moon brightened up the yard. Anna was sitting on the stairs on the front porch with Ariel as they watched the Dalton siblings interact with each other. She had to restrain herself from rushing over when she saw Elsa crying, reminding herself that they were having a private conversation.
Which reminded her... "Why didn't you tell me you were already official?"
"Straight to the point, as always," Ariel tried to lighten the mood with an amused chuckle. Anna didn't budge. "I couldn't find the right time to tell you. There was this thing going on between you and Elsa. I can't come out and say it, can I?"
"Why do you say that like it's my fault?" Anna was half annoyed and half teasing. When Ariel was about to say something, she shook her head. "Since when?"
Ariel pushed up her eyeglasses. "A week after we went to the aquarium."
"I see." They were quiet after that, neither knowing what else to say.
They smiled when the Dalton siblings began a snowball fight. It was the first time they saw them become playful around each other and it was an odd, peaceful image worth remembering.
"Snowball fight!" Rapunzel announced, startling the cousins on the porch. "I challenge you to a snowball fight!"
"Ohoho, nice idea." Senya appeared behind the younger brunette. "How are we going to divide the teams?" she asked as soon as Elsa and Marshall reached them.
"I have no idea. First, let's see who wants to join. I'm joining and so are you, Sen. No excuses!"
The musician rolled her eyes. "Of course."
"Count us in!" Marshall wrapped an arm around Elsa's shoulders, locking the younger blonde in a headlock.
"Mars!" Elsa whined, but her grin betrayed her irritation.
"Can we join?" Ariel gestured to herself and to Anna.
"Of course! Three on three?"
Technically, there were only six of them on the porch while the others were inside the house. The people she had known the longest were outside and Anna chose to be wherever they were. Also, she and Elsa hadn't personally talked yet and, after her encounter with Queenie, she didn't want Elsa to be alone.
"Perfect timing!" Rapunzel exclaimed when the front door opened.
Olaf blinked. "What?"
"You're joining, right? We're going to have a snowball fight!"
"Seriously? Isn't it a little cold for tha- nevermind." Olaf laughed when he saw his cousins covered in snow. "W-Well, a-as much as I want to, you're already equal!"
"Then shoo! Go away!"
"That's right, go away!" Senya shoved her boyfriend aside. To the photographer's credit, he remained rooted to the spot despite his slender figure. "Oh shush! Go invite Kristoff or Charlotte to team up with!"
As if summoned, Kristoff appeared behind Olaf. "Team up for what?"
"Perfect! Alright, you're in. Time to draw lots! Four on four!" Rapunzel scribbled on a piece of paper that popped out of nowhere.
The huge blonde cocked his head and lifted an eyebrow at Olaf. "What's going on?"
"I think we're going to have a snowball fight."
The older Bjorgmann's eyebrows shot up and he was nodding vigorously in no time while sporting a boyish grin similar to that of Olaf's.
It started during that mistletoe narration from this morning, but Anna figured she might've finally understood what Charlotte meant by him spoiling their daughter. From what she'd noticed since the last few days, the guy did seem pretty laid back.
When the teams were decided, everyone looked to their opponents, amused.
"This is interesting." Rapunzel eyed the people from the other side. "Ariel, Elsa, and the brothers, huh?"
"I was afraid we'd have all the Bjorgmann's over there. Good thing Mars is with us," Senya giggled before she scratched the side of her cheek. "It is a good thing, right?"
"This is..." Marshall cut himself off with a snort. "Okay. Elsa, Olaf, and Toph are seriously good at this. Don't hold back?"
"I wasn't planning to." Anna hoped she didn't sound uncertain. The last person she ever played a snowball fight with was her nephew, and she was losing on purpose.
"Then I'll leave Ariel to you." He averted his gaze when Anna gave her an incredulous look. "I don't think I can shoot one at her."
The irony made her laugh. Hearing Marshall say he couldn't shoot a snowball at her cousin when, during the past couple of years, he had been tormenting her? It was ridiculous.
Wiping the snow off themselves proved to be a difficult task due to their nearly numb fingers. It was freezing outside and the adrenaline from their fight had worn off. They decided to call it off for the night and stepped inside the warmth of Gerda's abode while desperately searching for much-needed warmth.
"Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh..."
Senya's mellow voice grabbed Anna's attention, forcing her to look at the musician to see her dancing and twirling while removing her shoes, scarf, and jacket. She was alternating between humming and singing the lyrics of the song with an impossible grin on her face.
"Bells on bobtail ring... making spirits bright..."
Senya danced her way to the living room with her eyes closed, oblivious of the stares she was receiving.
"Shouldn't you say something?" Rapunzel whisper-shouted.
"You're her sister! Say something!" Olaf whispered back.
Alice danced, twirled, and sang along and Anna looked at the other occupants of the room to gauge their expressions. They were mirroring hers.
"And she calls me weird," Charlotte snorted upon entering the living room.
Elsa rubbed her arms. "Where is everyone?"
"Fireplace, talking about anything and everything." Charlotte picked up a tray of gingerbread. "Help me out?"
"Sure."
"Can I help?" Anna offered, her cheeks red from the time they spent outside. She gestured to the bodies partying around the tree. "I think they're busy with a concert."
"It's okay. Elsa and I will just drop these off at the fireplace."
"I insist."
"Alright then. Care to carry that one?" Charlotte puckered her lips to the remaining tray which the redhead happily grabbed. "Thank you!"
On their way to the fireplace, Anna was bobbing her head in tune with the distant singing from the living room. Later on, the sound was getting clearer in a form of a soft, whispered voice and she halted in her tracks. Elsa was walking away, unaware that she was no longer being followed. It was very soft and barely heard, but was she... singing?
Charlotte had stopped walking and shook her head at Anna with a pleased smile on her face, and Anna knew to keep her mouth shut.
"Gingerbreads!" The pastry chef twirled around while balancing the trays on both hands. The lively action left Anna stunned and equally impressed.
"Oh dear, why did you let Anna carry one of those?" Gerda stood from the couch and made a gesture of taking the tray from the redhead.
"It's okay, Gerda. I volunteered," Anna assured.
"Oh."
"What happened to 'leave her alone when she wants to learn something'?" Elsa asked.
"Oh shush!"
The confusion on Anna's face was only answered by Elsa in the form of a mere shrug before placing the tray on top of the coffee table, avoiding her parents' gazes. Anna did the same and, as soon as they were done, stood awkwardly beside the blonde.
"Who baked this? It's delicious," Arianna praised.
"Oh please! You embarrass me!" Charlotte dramatically wiped her non-existent tears. "I was the one who baked it and Elsa was the one who designed it."
"Really? Wow, Elsa! That breakfast you cooked was something, but I didn't know you were good with desserts too."
"T-Thank you."
"Do you have any plans for being a chef?" Frederic asked.
Having been involved in numerous circumstances similar to this uncomfortable silence, Anna curled her fingers on herself. The first time they'd met, she was informed by Queenie that as a child, Elsa wanted to be a chef. Was that true?
"No."
Her eyes flickered between Elsa and Queenie, trying to understand what was going on. The smile Elsa wore was sad but serene, whereas her mother's was borderline heartbreaking. They weren't looking at each other, but their faces spoke volumes.
It's another representation of Cindy.
"Right now, I don't know what I want to be," Elsa admitted. "Cooking is fun, but I don't know if I want to do it for a living. Watching Olaf and Senya manage their business makes me want to try arts, but I don't know if that's what I want to do for the rest of my life either."
"You have many choices," Arianna nodded sagely. "You're a gifted child. I know you'll give your all on whatever you decide to do."
"I agree," Frederic said. "Rapunzel's learning many things, thanks to you."
With her face flushed, Elsa coughed. "Thank you. If you don't mind, we'll be leaving now." She waved a hand, fumbled with herself, and took a step back.
"Elsa?"
Anna's breathing stopped along with Elsa's—she could practically feel it—as Mr. Dalton's voice hung in the air. Elsa already had her back turned to her father and was facing the redhead who was beginning to worry. There was a tension on the blonde's shoulders, her lips were trembling, and the earlier blush was quickly disappearing and being replaced by an even paler shade than what was considered healthy.
Elsa closed her eyes, breathed deeply, and reluctantly turned around. "Yes?"
"Can we talk? For a few minutes?"
There was no immediate response, which didn't surprise anyone. What surprised Anna was the vulnerable look on Mr. Dalton's face. Queenie had already laid her heart out to her, but it was the first time she saw Elsa's father like this.
Right there, sitting on the couch was King Dalton and, at the same time, wasn't.
The King Dalton that Anna had had the chance of meeting and hearing about was strict, stern, and sometimes, overbearing. Though he was the one who insisted she stayed over for shelter the night that it was raining, that kind of protective, fatherly gesture was different from the one she was seeing now.
This one was afraid.
There was fear, hurt and regret in his eyes that Anna was entirely familiar with. It was the same look she had seen on Elsa countless times before. Seeing both father and child wearing the same look made her feel mixed emotions. Her father was dead, and there were many things she wasn't able to tell him. Here, standing in front of her was a father and daughter who had a strained relationship. She couldn't leave them alone.
Anna wanted them to talk, to be honest with each other for once in their lives. But she also didn't want to put Elsa in a tight spot. Interference may be an option, but her words might only serve to pressure both sides—which was the last thing she wanted. Elsa was free to make her own choices, or at least that was what she kept telling herself. The constant arguments between her brain and heart left her confused and completely unmoving. She was a coward, plain and simple.
Maybe that was why she couldn't look at Elsa when the girl whispered a soft, "Okay."
It feels weird writing Christmas right after Halloween.
Review/Fav/Follow
