PART FOUR
MONDAY, JANUARY 5, 2009
MASTER BEDROOM
RABB RENTAL HOME
MANASSAS, VA
0913
HARM'S POV
Outside our bedroom at this hour on a weekday morning, I know that there's movement and noise, but lying here naked and curled in a post coital cuddle, our room is silent and still.
Lounging in bed and savoring this last morning of our stay-at-home vacation, I've been in quiet reflection, not only of the intimate moments but of the family time that we spent together, especially the morning that we played in the snow, which ended when Abigail fell and broke her arm.
MAC'S POV
I know that he's lost in thought because he hasn't commented on the fact that my fingers are playing in the hairs on his chest, a habit that I get the feeling annoys him to some degree, but he doesn't mention it because he's learned that it's a sign that I have something on my mind that I'm ready to talk about, yet I'm unsure of how to start the dialogue.
This morning, I know that once I speak, not only will the calming silence be gone, but it will mark the end of our time to hide away.
Forcing my fingers to still, I place my palm against his chest and break the silence.
"I'd like to stay like this forever, but we need to get up soon. Mattie's appointment is in -"
Putting two fingers against my lips, he ends my sentence prematurely.
HARM'S POV
I've found that her ability to know the time can come in quite handy, but using her ability to formulate a countdown to an event such as a flight or a doctor's appointment can be a real negative to me, especially this morning when the calculation puts a time limit on how long we can remain in bed.
"Please, no time reminder yet. Give us five more minutes."
"Okay, five more minutes" she responds softly, snuggling closer to me.
"Thank you." The silence returns but only momentarily before I say, "I needed this." I'm not referring to just the extra five minutes to which she's agreed, but to the entire weekend.
"So I gathered a few days ago when you said that I shouldn't 'worry my pretty little head' about Catherine's case."
"I didn't say that, did I? That sounds so..."
"Sexest or 1950's?" she says before lifting her head to look me in the eye while she explains why she let me live after I made such a comment.
"At the time you said it, I gave you a pass because I felt that you were really stressed about Catherine's case and feeling the added pressure of me being upset with you for helping her. Then, when you told me about my island getaway Christmas gift, I realized that you might not be thinking straight, caused not only by the stress of that particular situation, but also by our hectic life. Not that you or I would want to change a thing about our life, but it's tough to have much couple-time when so much is going on around here all the time."
"True, and I guess that made the trip more for me than it was for you." I pause. "I guess that means that I do owe you a steak dinner or a new pair of shoes."
"Not that I'd ever turn down a good meal or a pair of comfortable shoes, but a new gift isn't necessary..." she replies teasingly before breaking eye contact with me.
MAC'S POV
I'm a little ashamed because I wasn't more aware of my own feelings and a little embarrassed because I feel so good - or maybe that should be bad about the fact that, once we've come into the bedroom each night, we've been all over each other like horny teenagers, only better because we know what we're doing - so I opt to fix my gaze on a spot on his chest as I continue, "...but the truth is that I needed this, too. I just hadn't given myself time to think about how much I was missing you before you mentioned going away together."
"But you're all better now," he says assuredly.
I look up to see that I've inflated his ego and it's forced a full flyboy smile to appear on his face.
You can take the fighter pilot out of the plane, but you can't take the fighter pilot out of the man, I think as I shake my head in disbelief.
"You know, I let you deny that you called me Sweet Thing once...and I gave you a pass on the 'pretty little head' bit a few days ago, but that's it. You're gonna pay for being so full of yourself," I respond before I land a firm blow with my pillow.
Pulling the pillow from behind his head, he lands a blow.
I retaliate, and so the pillow fight begins until, laughing, I collapse on top of him, and he drops his pillow and kisses me. Then the lovemaking begins again.
LIVING ROOM
1507
HARM'S POV
Mac and I didn't want to spoil the holidays for anyone, so we kept the information about Mattie's drinking and our suspicions to ourselves, for which I was glad after we became aware of her pain. Given her father's history, it would be very hard to un-ring that bell with the family once we'd rung it if it turns out that she was simply using alcohol as a painkiller.
However, Mattie's pain and discomfort is something that we did share with her grandparents and great-grandmother, and since we've returned from her appointment, the three of them are eager to hear what we found out about the source of her pain.
So as not to worry Sami, she's encouraged to go play in her room so that the adults can share information freely before Tyler and Abigail get home from school.
Whether it's impatience or nervousness that gets the best of her, my grandmother is the first to ask, "Well, what did the doctor say?"
Unsure of how much the other people in the room know about what's been going on since her arrival, Mattie looks at me as if she's pleading for me to answer.
"There's no conclusive answer," I say in response to my grandmother's question.
I think I hear Mattie sigh in relief, or maybe it's frustration over being poked and prodded without getting a definitive answer as to the cause of her pain.
"Tell me that they have at least some idea of what's wrong," my mother says emphatically.
"He threw out a few ideas but he believes that the mostly likely cause of her pain is a pinched nerve," Mac answers.
"That doesn't sound so bad," Frank begins optimistically, but then I think he realizes that it may sound as if he's minimizing her circumstances or level of pain and he adds, "I mean in terms of getting you fixed up and feeling good again."
"If it were only that easy," Mattie states, the fatigue in her voice obvious.
"Since her pain is in two seemingly unrelated but possibly related places, the doctor ordered a few tests that he said should rule out other possible causes and hopefully show exactly what's causing the pain," Mac offers as an explanation, but we can see from the looks on their faces that it didn't make the situation any clearer to them.
"Then he doesn't think that it's a pinched nerve?" my grandmother asks with confusion.
I take my turn at trying to explain what the doctor told us.
"No, he believes that it's a nerve -"
"Or two," Mattie interjects.
"Yes, or more than one, making him ask what's changed over the last few months to cause her symptoms."
"Does he have any guesses as to what the problem might be?" Frank asks.
"He was intentionally vague," I reply, not hiding my frustration at having to wait for answers.
"He said that there's no way that he can be sure and that's why he ordered the tests," Mac begins, taking over for me. "However, when pressed, he said that he believed that the most likely cause, given her previous injuries to her neck and back, is either a bone spur that presses against the nerve and causes pain when she turns, sits or lays in a particular way, or vertebra that are compressing and pinching nerves in her neck and back."
"Or both," Mattie adds.
"Did they perform the tests today?" my grandmother asks.
"If they did, how long until we know something?" my mother adds impatiently
Mom added her question so closely to the end of my grandmother's that there was no time to answer hers.
"They didn't do them today, but they did schedule them for next week, and if I understood correctly, it'll be several days after that until the report is ready for him to review, so he had us schedule another appointment two weeks from now to review the results with us."
"Isn't there anything that they can do for you in the meantime, dear?" my grandmother asks.
"I'm not supposed to sit or stand for prolonged periods of time, lift anything heavier than my backpack, and not overexert myself. If I feel tired, I'm to rest," Mattie replies, giving half the answer to my grandmother's question.
"He also gave her two prescriptions. One is a muscle relaxant to ease her discomfort during the day but leave her alert enough to keep up with her studies, and the other one is a sleeping pill so that she can get a full eight hours of sleep each night," Mac says, giving them the other half of the answer.
"Frank, I should call the gallery and tell them that I won't be back next Monday, and you call the airlines and cancel our reservations."
"Grandma, I appreciate the fact that you're concerned, but you can't do anything here but wait, and you can do that in San Diego while you run the gallery that you haven't even seen in like forever," Mattie says before hugging my mother.
"What if you need someone to stay with you in Blacksburg when school resumes?" my mother offers in argument.
"If needed, I'll go to Blacksburg and stay with Mattie," my grandmother offers.
My mother looks at me.
"Mom, we love having you here, and you've certainly been of great help to us during the last few months. If you want to stay, we certainly aren't going to make you leave, but you do have a business to run," I add.
"Trish, they're right. It's time for us to go," Frank begins, but the tears that we can all see forming in my mother's eyes causes him to stop.
"I know that you aren't leaving because you don't care about me," Mattie says in hopes of comforting her grandmother.
"You'll let us know what the doctor says, won't you?" my mother questions, a lone tear rolling down her cheek.
"Of course, the second we know something, we'll call," I reply before stepping up to give my mother a comforting hug.
"I know that you're right, but ..." She stops to sniffle.
I was expecting this kind of waterworks this weekend when they left for the airport, but not today.
"...I'm going to miss you all terribly," my mother finishes.
"We're going to miss you, too," Mac says as she lines up behind me to give my mother a hug.
After hugs are exchanged all around, my mother declares, "I need to go make snacks for the children."
We let her leave the living room knowing that, though she'll make the children their mid-afternoon snacks, she also wants a few minutes to collect herself before Tyler and Abigail come home from school.
2130
HARM'S POV
Our vacation is over, and I'm lying in bed lost in thought, waiting for Mac to join me after making her final check on the children.
"You're thinking about Mattie's appointment, aren't you?" she asks without pausing long enough to let me respond. "I know that we were hoping to have definite answers today, but they said that the tests that they want to run would be beneficial in not only helping them determine the cause of her pain, but in deciding on the best form of treatment."
"I wasn't really thinking about any one thing in particular, more about this past weekend, our little at-home vacation as a whole."
"Oh," Mac says as she puts the baby monitor on her bedside table. "Do you need for me to leave so you have more time to think, or can I lie down now?"
"I definitely want you to join me," I say, flipping back the covers on her side of the bed.
"Did this thinking result in having any thoughts that you'd like to share?" she asks, slipping into bed.
"I concluded that, though I was disappointed when our flight was cancelled, it really worked out for the best. If the storm hadn't come when it did, we could've gotten out of town before it hit, meaning that we wouldn't have been here when the kids played in the snow, which means that we wouldn't have been here when Abigail had to be taken to the hospital to have her arm set."
"And if the storm had come later in the weekend, the visibility would've been so bad that our plane wouldn't have been allowed to land, keeping us from getting home, too," she offers, making me sure that she completely understands my line of thinking.
"Then it would seem that fate made sure that we were right where we belong."
"Yes, it would seem so," Mac says as she cuddles into my side, preparing to get a few hours of sleep before our baby girl wakes and needs attention from her.
"Good night, Mac," I say before applying a loving kiss to her lips.
When our kiss comes to a natural close, she whispers against my lips, "Good night, Harm." Then we cuddle together, waiting for sleep to claim us.