Chapter 36

The sorting out of drinks gave everyone time to remember that Ben was safe and they could work from there, so the tension in the room eased a bit. Tyus put his untouched cup of coffee to one side and got his bag and approached Bob knowing full well the man didn't really want this now, but needed it and said casually. "Here or in private."

Knowing the reason for the comment Helen stirred her coffee and chimed in helpfully. "I've seen it all before so he can drop them here."

"Sis!" Bob exclaimed noting Antonio wasn't fazed by her comment or its meaning, and knew Jude wouldn't want him in another room as he'd have to yell questions and answers or miss something. And of course, his darling sister knew exactly why he was hesitant, usually lack of privacy wouldn't worry him but things had conspired against him. He huffed and said looking at Jude as he awkwardly got up and then dropped his trousers. "No comment, thank you very much." But knew damn well the man would not be able to resist it, especially as the Priest had stopped the attempt to start drinking his coffee and was trying very hard not to smile.

Jude didn't bother hiding his smile and commented regardless of the risk "Umm Red love hearts with arrows and cupids … now that really would give your mates something to talk about."

Bob eyed him dangerously and sat down to allow Tyus to remove the bandage Tim had put on, and explained defensively. "As I said my change of clothes went up in smoke or got foamed as did the others when the van copped it. It was a small town, two boutiques for the ladies and a very small store for the men, and there were only two pairs left in our size. Tim had the plain dark blue ones as he had Sis on his side and I had these. Now, Sy's brought the reserves from home, if I'd been given a moment I would have changed in private." Giving Jude a really sad hurt look, he gently exclaimed. "Oh come on! I couldn't leave Betsy in tears, a shaky sister and brother-in-law to fly across state to get a change of underclothes now could I?"

Jude smiled, chuckled and shook his head knowing they were okay and pushed the file over to Helen, saying "Ben's medical and other history for your written or verbal version of how he was on the farm."

Helen smiled liking the fact they could now talking freely and handed her file over and said. "The short version is - he total closed down on us but could function as a normal person … over the weeks he gradually started to open up to us, not verbally but in the things he did. Tim and Bob brought him home unconscious and we put him in a downstairs room, and someone was either with him or very nearby with the baby monitor on all the time. Tim had him on a drip and he was bandaged to protect his ribs, back and ankle should he start thrashing about.

Betsy's silent request for water was the first I knew he was awake, it was the usual case of turning away and the pot boils over. I'd just popped out to visit the bathroom and had left Betsy on guard. She'd taken to him as soon as he arrived and was happy to read her book or quietly played with her toys while listening to the music we had on in the room. I had noticed his breathing had changed earlier and thought it would be a while before he actually woke up hence the quick visit out.

Now knowing some of his past, he might have been subconsciously hiding till he thought it was safe … trusts children rather than adults. But that could be a dangerous bit of hindsight.

He was guarded with her but trusted her more than us certainly. Once he realised that she trusted us he wasn't too bad, of course it grew over the hours and days. They had meals together … the first time she sneaked food off his plate he seemed to relax and eat his food better, after that I left them to choose their own plates once I or Tim had taken them into the room. You might think we were foolhardy to let them alone, but he was too weak to do much and as he got stronger I knew he wouldn't hurt her. I must admit I hoped by being around him she would break her own silence … she did in the end because she wanted to and not because we forced her. First of all I wondered if he copied her silence but I know he didn't it, it suited him too well. Once he was awake long enough and could get off the bed, he got agitated and refused to stay in the house.

Being winter it was cold and we weren't sure he could cope with it, but we had no choice so we showed him the old stable, which has gone now. … It had a fire place with a very crude hot water system and an earth toilet as well as a sleeping bench. That's when we found out it wasn't just our house he didn't like to be in … he stood outside the doorway and refused to go in. Tim pulled a bale of straw out into the doorway, then fixed the doors back so they would give him some shelter and we got a nod of acceptance. The stable had an over hanging roof so that gave added protection, he had bedding and a large tarpaulin sheet, plus an old riding coat and a woolly hat, which was just as well as some nights were below freezing and wet.

We made sure along with the fire in the stable that a couple of braziers were kept alight day and night. They were very safe and one was used as a cooker so he could cook his own food as well as accept meals with us. We put another one by the seat near pond as it became a favourite spot for all of us. It turned out a very useful way of getting rid of old wood, fuel etc. The bag you know about and we made sure the food that would keep in case he left us."

Suppressing other thoughts as he drunk his coffee Jude asked. "Did you have a way of keeping him from wandering?"

Helen gave a gentle laugh then explained. "One way in and out, the hedge and the geese … they lived next to the old stable he used."

At their puzzled looks she explained. "Apart from being very good watch dogs, the Gander was very possessive and didn't want to lose the hand that fed them ... and we gave our stranger that job as it didn't take much effort. You could say he became one of the flock as he slept so close to them. They would stay close, if not the flock then just a couple would hang around him and if he got too close to the far gate the message would go out, and would get our attention. It was quite amusing and if we wanted to find him we looked for the geese as I said he seemed content to stay. Possibly because he couldn't remember anything else but being with us, one of the things he liked to do when he wasn't working was to sit looking across the pond … with or without Betsy. Of course if he was alone it was a very good excuse for a quick cup of tea or coffee with or without cake and a quiet one sided chat with him. Though his body language and signing was very good once it was up and running, he was a good listener ... he never got up and walked away from us, but he never sought us out for company, he was content to be on his own.

Once he was moving freely and although we didn't know any other phobias, we had him up on the shed roof and doing other dismantling work, as well as looking after plants and animals etc. He's a very good worker, you only had to show him things once and he could remember jobs that needed to be done from one day to the next. He also knew how to dismantle an old fashioned hot bed; we thought it had to be done brick by brick but he showed us the special joins … it was prefabricated … that was when we thought he had past experience in farming or growing plants, even though his hands had shown no sign of outside manual work.

Bob thought he'd worked in an office or been a businessman … cooking the books came to mind…. Anyway, we put instructions and all the bits on the back of one of John's lorries and it went to another farm not far away. … We were trying to make sure everything went to a good home as we wouldn't get much for them, our deadline was March."

She paused for a moment letting things calm down in her mind, then looked across at her brother and remembering about Ben's note added. "Do you think that's when he got the idea about the house being moved, but it didn't surface till later."

Bob shrugged but nodded 'yes' then went back to watching Tyus, who as far as he was concerned was the threat and let her carry on.

"We managed to get him in the back of our old truck by Betsy walking with him, then when she got tired she insisted on him carrying her. Of course after while he got tired so accepted the back of the truck. From then on if she was there he was okay with it, and then after that he would accept it if reasoned with. He needed to know exactly what was going on, no hidden agenda's or surprises so it was other farms or friends on the edge town he went to."

"So you never left him alone in the town and he never went out by himself then." Antonio asked remembering the cards.

"Oh No!" Helen exclaimed horrified at the thought.

Jude found the card and handed it over saying. "Ben gave Antonio this card. We found out he'd showed it at the other shelters and got ones in return. Did he have many blackouts with you?"

Helen took the card as she gently exclaimed "No! He never blacked out, and we didn't let him out of our sight when we visited the other farms. His world was us and the farm even though he knew it was being dismantled." Recognising the card she realised everything and added. "That's Joe's card and that's why Betsy called him Joe after he left … possibly why she accepted him at the beginning as well as his leaving. But Joe was just over two years ago and he was much older than Ben."

She was going to leave at that, then realised they needed to understand so explained. "He was a traveller, very quiet, wouldn't speak to strangers and suffered from fits. Being a very good gardener he earned his keep from it and was well known in town. When he was around, he lived in an outbuilding because he liked the open space, and had a set of gardens he always attended. He would also get the odd meal from them, and they set up a look out system ringing us or the next garden as necessary.

His fits would come with little warning, he would not necessarily blackout usually he would be still and look into space for a few moments, then recover, but would not know where he was or what he was meant to be doing. He hated being chaperoned so went out on his own, hence the jumper, the card and phone system. After he'd done the gardens he would move on to other farms and would come back weeks or months later. He told us when he was leaving but then…." Not being able to finish she asked. "What was Ben wearing when you found him Antonio?"

Antonio realised Helen didn't want to end the story, and by the tone of sadness guessed the man never came back probably died; and the coincidences of Joe and Ben had hit a nerve and said. "A lumberjack type shirt and Jeans, a large multi coloured jumper that was later recognised by Patrick, and a baseball cap which shades more than his eyes. He never goes out without hat or jumper, but will take them off when he feels safe, such as in the garden or in his area at the Mission, though he used the jumper as a blanket one time. He did say using the cap helps with his headaches and he's blacked out on us definitely once … that was in a garden he was working in. When he came round he was silent and confused so I took him back to the Mission where he gradually, with promoting recognised things. A possible one was the beginning at the Mission when I found him sitting on the low wall. I can't say I woke him as I couldn't see his eyes, just that I got his attention by touch and voice. That's why we thought the card referred to him and I think he did as well."

Helen said thoughtfully. "Well, that might happen if his memory was … is coming back too quickly for him to accept … and going back to a base would be a good thing. He would definitely have headaches as well. … So, perhaps they had started the day he left … that could be why he took Bob's cap, the peak would help shade his eyes and ease the headaches without the aid of drugs. He must have gone into the kitchen porch either to find us or to get the pen and paper, saw the cap and found or realised it would help. … I wonder if remembering things squashed his fear of buildings … could have realised it was from his kidnapping and knew that episode was over and it was all right now."

She paused for a moment, then carried on thinking out loud knowing no one would mind. "So something had suddenly brought it all back, and perhaps subconsciously he wasn't sure how long his memory would stay, so he wrote the note as a reminder to take with him, but left it behind ... possibly already losing his memory. … But why put the jumper on … could have seen it and did it automatically … it was still a bit chilly and if he'd been by the pond he could have been cold. … Well, he knew they were warm and had worn them … knew we would recognise him in it … no … anyone in the town would recognise where it came from, so he'd get back to the farm somehow. … Couldn't use the phone didn't know our number … but, we had helpers there and he knew we were coming home, so …."

Bob butted in with a slight edge as Tyus was starting to concentrate on the knee as well as easing the leg in different positions. "If he'd remembered all of it, that would have been a jolt in itself especially if we assume it was the jailer who mugged him. … So it's possible he forgot about the two helpers especially if they were out of sight, and he was coming to find us. … Perhaps he needed us to be in town to get things sorted, he might have needed Bert's advice about the attack or help finding out what happened afterwards. He might have wanted to contact Charles or Meg, that quiet first contact because there was a broken promise to consider."

Helen nodded and took on that line of thought out loud. "The geese had been sold so they weren't there to stop him or warn anyone he was leaving. So you're saying since then, his mind has been running through his memories as he slept and closed down on waking because nothing gave him the right triggers, and he needed to be alert. Therefore he's been subconsciously looking for us and or Meg, and the jumper's not a shield to hide behind but a big flag waving so that someone can say to him 'its okay I can take you to Helen and Tim's farm blab blab'. Once back at the farm he would have had the necessary triggers and we'd have the note to show him as well.

But it never happened, so he carried until something triggered off the Sunset Beach recognition, and sent him to that beach where Antonio found him. That added another trigger which woke new information sending our information to sleep. If Antonio hadn't found him, Ben would have wandered around found other triggers possibly getting recognised, or would have gone straight to the Mission because he knew that was a place to get help, either way he was home."

Jude interrupted gently. "We believe he heard Antonio's voice on the radio at his last shelter … it was an appeal for a runaway lad."

She nodded and huffed away that 'if only' feeling, knowing everything was hypothetical and in the past … but they could work from them, and carried on taking her thoughts back to the farm and the next step. "So, something must have happened as he walked along the driveway or as he got to the road to go into town. If a local saw him they would have stopped, even the bus would have and he could have mentioned the railway station or got a lift to the police station, he'd seen Bert with us. Perhaps he remembered his promise to Bob to tell him when he woke… He might have felt as though he'd just woken up and was looking for Bob … I'm assuming of course he'd got his power of speech back as he remembered things.

Therefore, he must have been unlucky, the road was empty so started walking to the left into town and got distracted or got lost perhaps … turned onto the narrow side road which loops round the town. Or something made him turn right instead of left and he continued that way, which would have lead him away from town. We are assuming he remembered the route in, perhaps he lost his memory as he walked up the drive ... surely he would have stopped at the top."

Helen stopped and looked back at the board for inspiration … glancing through his history checking it against the time he had on the farm, she then exclaimed very sharply "Hell!" making everyone flinch and Tyus stop his examination for a moment.

She turned back to her brother who was looking at her with concern, and forgetting everyone else said calmly. "What, if they started culling the birds the day he left rather than the next day as we thought. They would have done it late afternoon as the birds flew in. If he was at the top of the drive or even walking along the road it would have thrown him … possibly shut him down again. … Though it was at the back of the farm, the sound would have carried and been to the left of it so it would be between him and the town.

The gunshot that killed his brother would have been all around him and he would have felt it and then the rush of guilt etc afterwards. If he'd just remembered it all he would have been fragile …. if it had been just one, he might have collapsed and then realised he was not hurt or had that rush of guilt then crawled back to the farm or under a hedge and recovered. But it didn't stop they would have kept on coming for anything up to ten minutes, and it would have frightened and confused him especially if the birds were flying around as well. Antonio said he ran from the firecrackers, he could have blacked out from shock came round knowing nothing, but hearing Antonio again would have woken a trigger even if he didn't realise it.

Back at the farm if he'd been along the road or driveway he'd have run away from the noise, and kept on till it was quiet and he felt safe, possibly even hiding in the bushes, then possibly blacked out either from shock or exhaustion. When he came round his mind would have needed triggers to help it wake up again or lock onto and stabilise … one of course would be location; but if it wasn't anywhere near our farm it would be totally new to him, so no triggers.

As he had his bag with him and he would have found out about food, money, while the notes told him how to get food when the box was empty, and he had clothes but nothing else. … That could have become an automatic reaction … wake up look at bag, eat or find and buy food … whatever. He might have remembered something about the photo, but not exactly what, it was just something he needed to keep near him and another reason to protect his bag.

Regarding the card; it must have been tucked into the pocket, so he might not have found it right away. It was useful only locally, and he knew us not my sister and her husband, so the names were different. In any case we hardly used names as we talked to each other. He must have been able to read the card to have given it to the people at the shelters. And there must be something significant about shelters for him to know he was safe around them as he didn't like buildings. He obviously didn't feel safe enough to walk into a police station and ask for help."

Antonio knew the possible reason and said. "He funded a shelter here in the memory of a close friend of his who had been homeless. And … he'd had trouble with the police in the past believing what he said."

Helen looked at Antonio knowing there was a deeper story there, but that would be for later and nodded her acceptance and carried on with her thinking out loud. "If he was remembering things during sleep, they were most probably very scrambled not having time to settle before the scare. So, they would have been frightening in themselves, especially if the sound and pictures didn't match, it would be like a very vivid dream or nightmare. I doubt, he would be able to explain them to himself let alone anyone else, and there's a possibility he would not remember the day before either.

He would have unconsciously fallen back on what had become second nature during his time in Seattle, and that was probably silence and waiting with a good helping of mistrust. He is a quiet and patient person by nature and we didn't push him into speaking or memories, because it could have closed him down into unconsciousness possibly never to wake up."

Feeling a shiver run down her spine and guessing she wasn't the only one, she carried on. "He trusted his instincts, without realising what they were or what they were doing, and they kept him safe as well as taking him back to the place and the people or person he felt safe with. And I'm not forgetting that special tie identical twins have either, but I'm also thinking of parent love and upbringing if he had a loving home. The jumper of course stayed as a flag, only taken down when his instincts knew no one was around to see or recognise it and help him." Pausing she looked over at her brother for his thoughts.

"Yes it's possible. At least we ... Ouch! Tyus!" Bob exclaimed sharply trying to disappear further back into the chair as the pain brought him back to here and now, and out of his sister's scenario.

Tyus had quietly gone back to his examination as the sister and brother talked, and had listened knowing it sounded horribly right and scary. He also knew he had a very slippery customer on his hands and he'd just found the right spot at long last. Now, he needed more information so immediately asked. "How and when did you get your injury or is it classified and are you allergic to any drugs."

Helen's gentle laugh and tease. "Oh he soo wishes it was classified but it isn't." broke the tension that had been building up in the room.

It stopped the shivers that had been running up and down Jude's spine as he'd listened, and had been trying to work out whether Ben had been lucky or unlucky, and couldn't stop the smile at the looks Bob was sending Tyus and now to his sister, and gave the gentle command. "Go on Bob … he's very persistent and got large needles to threaten you with."

Bob huffed, knowing like the others he had to get rid of the thought of Ben being out in open without friends or clue as to who or where he was. It also brought back too other many memories and said casually. "No allergies except for a certain sister. I didn't want to fall downstairs as I know from past experience you bounce and stairs hurt."

Helen's gentle laugh edged her serious tone. "You have to admit a) what you were avoiding, and b) you were drunk at the time."

Bob eyed her and said in a hurt tone. "I wasn't drunk. If I had been I would have been on the sofa or the bed downstairs fast asleep and not going up to my room to sleep, which would mean this knee would not be a problem." Then glancing at the others added in a lighter tone. "Granted it was 2 am and I was a little merry just coming back from a successful mission. But, how was I to know the bear was waiting to get me."

Jude noticed that even Antonio managed a slight smile, and asked "How big was it?" guessing whose it was.

Helen smiled showing with her hands it had been a smallish cuddly type, definitely not the big attacking type that might need shooting, while explaining. "It's Betsy's favourite, silver grey and growled when pressed. Luckily she had it with her when the van went south, otherwise we would have been in big trouble. Today, though she wanted to show she was grown up so left it in van, but I expect it's with them now."

Bob sighed at the grins and carried on his sorry tale. "If it had been bigger it would have been all right, my foot would have knocked against it or I would have seen it. It was the ideal alarm against an intruder as it was in the shadows and right in the path to my bedroom door." He looked at his sister as he added accusingly. "And as its Betsy's favourite, why wasn't it tucked in her little arms in bed that night."

For a moment there was a brother and sister moment, as they eyed each other and the onlookers knew neither really felt threatened by the other. Then it was over, and Bob being a good story teller got the tone spot on and carried on. "Why? Because my loving sister had bought Betsy something new to play with, and hadn't spotted the poor deserted little bear when she'd put Betsy to bed. There was I being quiet as a mouse so as not to disturb anyone's beauty sleep, when suddenly there was something soft underfoot which growled menacingly as I put my weight down.

So! not being drunk …SpecialOps reactions kicked in, and I swiftly moved out the way only to realise I was just going to go down the stairs I'd just crept quietly up ... at double speed … so I twisted round intending to land on the landing. … If you see what I mean... on my feet like a cat. …. But the wall tangled with my leg and I ended up opening one of the bedroom doors a bit quicker and noisier than usual, and ended in a heap of agony ... which I manfully smothered in one word.

Needless to say my sister thought it was very funny."

"I didn't!" Helen said indigently remembering the fright she'd had, and then added with half a smile. "But sometime afterwards … yes … especially as his mates gave him a nice 'get well' present."

Jude was laughing, even though he sympathized with Bob who was looking crestfallen, and nudged for the answer from him by asking. "How big is it?"

Bob smiled, letting everyone know he wasn't at all cross with his sister for letting that one out and answered. "Just under six foot when standing, silver grey and growls really loudly, goodness knows where they got if from. What Helen missed out was they gave it me at the office when I went back, and it had a note round its neck implying junior would have grown to that size if I hadn't stood on it. Of course I had to walk it out to the car, which was three floors down and then it had to sit on the back seat all the way to the farm, because my flat's too small for both of us. Betsy loves it and it usually stays in her room." He huffed good naturedly. "I'm just pleased Sy didn't bring it with her as a sisterly gesture."

With the gentle laughter of new friends around him, he carried on seriously to Tyus. "That was June last year and it's reoccurred twice since. They said it was a strain and would go away with cream and bandages, which it did. As I can't trust it I've gone from undercover to deskwork, advisor come training instructor. But that looks like that's going to change as I jarred it when the lorry met the van and it went up in smoke. Not too sure what I did actually… I just moved to protect Betsy, nothing dramatic like rolling on the floor and it is not improving … Hence Tim's orders. I could walk a bit and then it just went yuck with a burning feeling."

While he explained the others had started to read through the exchanged notes, but kept half an ear on the ongoing conversation.

Tyus gave a slight smile at Bob's last description and nodded, then quickly did another check getting a hiss from Bob before putting some cream on the knee. He understood why Tim needed Bob to listen to him rather than a brother-in-law who was a doctor. So as he sorted out the brace and then fitted it explained their plan of action and options. "Well, we will have to wait for the swelling to die down and that could be as early as tomorrow, or could take another couple of days so it will have to be checked again. After a couple of x-rays and a chat with Jim we will know if we have to operate. But in view of the history I'd say it's a probable yes … after recovery you'll be able use it normally and do supervised light training, but nothing that will tax it. You'll have to check with your trainer at work but heavy field work is definitely out.

If you don't have it done, you'll be wearing the brace for a while and it will go at anytime once it's taken off. You'll get no warning at all … you certainly would not be able to go across fields or a rough track, even stairs could be difficult, and it could go by just you getting up from a chair without thinking about it. Then you'd be back to a long recovery with brace and it will go again even quicker next time.

As for now wear the brace and use the crutches where possible but especially on rough ground, they will ease the strain and avoid stairs completely. I'll leave the cream with you and you've seen how the brace goes on, don't take it off unless you have to and I don't mind you referring to your brother- in-law if you want to, otherwise call me and if necessary I'll have you in under emergency rules. The cream is a strong one so the pain will go in a while and it will help the swelling go down. I had the messenger bring something for you to change into as I guessed yours wouldn't fit over the brace and you wouldn't want them cut down the sides or above the knee."

Bob heard what he was saying and understood why Tim had insisted he see someone else, but couldn't stop his glare back at them dreading what he might end up wearing. After all the brace felt big and hospitals were well known for gowns that gapped at the back, but then again he had to wear something...

Tyus laughed seeing his expression and reached into his bag explaining. "They are forces rejects so I hope you don't mind."

Smiling Bob shook his head, he was used to them so it would feel like home. And between the two of them he got dressed then walked across the room using the crutches with Tyus watching closely. When they were satisfied everything was all right they both went back to their respective chairs. Tyus drunk his coffee as he read the medical notes Helen had given him, and then went onto the other notes as Jude and Antonio finished them; his mind running through implications and treatments etc.

Bob started reading the notes Helen had finished while letting his own future plans run through his mind. He now knew he had something to go back to other than just sitting at a desk, he could still be an advisor possibly train students and give lectures, which would please his sister … he would also be out of the firing line, might even settle down. He knew his family had always thought he'd be the one they'd be mourning, not their sister and husband so it made their deaths harder to deal with, it also didn't help that he'd been recovering from injury so had not gone with them. Trouble was he liked the adventure ... but that thought drifted as he read more about the stranger he'd found at the side of the road.