DISCLAIMER: I don't own James Potter, girl talks, freaking out, or crying. I do, however, own Libby Fletcher and Bea Potter. :)
When James Met Libby.
James Sirius Potter has no idea why he's telling the story of how he fell in love. He's not even romantic! Falling in love went against everything he believed in … but it happened. And he invites you to listen if you dare. :James/OC recommended reading with GIR and CGIR NextGen:
Chapter 35: When James and Libby's heads exploded.
(Still with The Libby)
Well, I thought that I'd finished my story … but James and Rose are kind of still staring at me.
"Erm …" I began.
"KEEP GOING!" they both yelled at the same time.
(Feb, 2030)
"Bea, I'm pregnant …" I said, weakly.
Oh, Bea stared. Hell, I had stared the first time I'd taken that damn test this morning. Honestly, I had thought that my mind had exploded and that my stomach had just dropped out of my body. Then, my first immediate thought had been that I'm fairly certain my stomach disappearing would be bad for my unborn child.
My unborn child? SERIOUSLY, Libby?!
"I … oh, my god," Bea eventually managed to say, her face completely one hundred per cent gob-smacked. "Lib … are you sure?"
"Well, I took three Muggle pregnancy tests, four magical tests, and had a wonderfully stressful visit with a Healer, so yes, I'm sure!" I said at once. I'd been thinking of nothing else all day. "It's true! I've got a person GROWING INSIDE OF ME!"
Bea thought for a moment as I just looked at her desperately. Then, she opened her mouth and said, "Libby, is it ok if I say something here that I normally wouldn't?"
Sure that nothing in the world could make this worse, I answered, "Sure."
Bea took a deep breath. "Holy shit!"
I couldn't help it; Bea had somehow managed to make me burst into laughter. It probably sounded absolutely hysterical, as I was still half crying, but it just burst out of me and once it started, I couldn't stop it. Holy shit was about right, and to hear it coming from usually so composed Bea was about as mind-blowing as finding out I was pregnant.
Bea laughed with me until tears came to her eyes; pretty soon, we were just two women laughing and crying on a bathroom floor. Blimey, this would be one hell of a story to tell at some point! Eventually, I did manage to calm myself down somewhat, throwing my arms around Bea's neck and hugging her tightly. Bea squeezed me hard and I wished that her hug could just fix all this by wiping this day clean.
… rather unfortunately impossible, but a lovely thought, at least!
"So how long have you been sitting here in the bathroom?" Bea asked softly, pulling back so that she was more or less sharing my bath mat with me, leaning back against the edge of the bath tub.
"About two hours," I admitted, hastily trying to rub tears away from my face. "When I got back from St Mungo's, I couldn't really handle it. I just came in here and started crying."
"Why the bathroom?"
"I first figured it out in here," I shrugged, casting a glance at the poor, fallen calendar that had been on the receiving end of my wrath once it had failed to re-jiggle the dates and make my life go back on track once more. "Why not cry about it in here?"
"Is … oh, god. Just oh, my god, Libby!" Bea still seemed partly in shock, her eyes wide. "I can't believe this! I mean … you're pregnant, you're actually pregnant?" She leaned back slightly, as if she could stare through my stomach and see the developing baby.
Developing baby!
Yes, it's official. I'm actually having a mental breakdown.
"Bea, there is indeed a baby growing inside me," I said, weakly. "And before you ask, yes, of course it's James'."
"Not that I would believe anything otherwise," Bea said, hastily. "Although, I admit, that was the next thing I was going to confirm. Does he know?"
"No!" I cried at once. "He's at training, won't be home till later this evening! No, I … Bea, you're the first person I've told."
Bea stared at me for several moments, eyes shining. I didn't realise what an emotional girl she could be (and, admittedly, I didn't realise how bloody emotional I could get before today!) and I hoped that I hadn't somehow caused her to flip out. I was actually starting to become rather perplexed, so I ended up saying,
"Erm, you're not crying again, are you …?"
"No – no, I'm just – I'm honoured!" Bea, the insane girl, lifted a hand so she could cover her mouth and choke back a sob. "You – you told me first? Why?"
Oh, that girl. Only she would be so overcome with feels about being the first person to be told. "Honestly … I knew that you were the one I needed," I admitted. "Let's face it, Jo is barely out of her boycotting men phase, and Rose only just got engaged; I wouldn't want to freak her out any more than I'm freaking out myself! So I thought of you, and you're all happily married now, so …"
"Oh my god, I think I'm in love with you!" Bea cried, before throwing her arms around me once more. Well, she managed to get me to smile at least, that's something, right? I wished that it could have stayed that simple. Bea could make me feel better, but I knew it wasn't going to last long; hell, I've got an effing person inside me, apparently already with arms and legs and internal organs! The Healer'd had one hell of a field day telling me all about the wonders of my eight-week-old baby, almost technically a fetus now!
And she wonders why I screamed at her. Honestly.
"… oh, blimey, Libby," Bea said, pulling back and leaning against the bathtub once more. "I seriously can't believe this. Are you … erm, ok?"
"No," I blurted out at once. "No, I am NOT ok!"
"Don't worry!" Bea said at once, reaching out and quickly squeezing my hand. "That's totally fair enough! If you want, you can just talk to me, explain why you're anxious, you'll feel better, I swear …"
"Explain why?" I gaped, certain that it had to be obvious. "Bea, come on! I'm not even 24 yet! Obviously, we didn't plan this, we haven't even talked about whether we want kids yet. Hell, we haven't even talked about whether we want to get married, yet!" I added.
"That's ok, Libby," Bea said. She was speaking with some ridiculously calm voice, which I admit I had to admire her for. "Just don't panic. We'll figure that out, don't worry. You've always got options, right? Like, did the Healer tell you what you could do?"
"Yeah, she did," I said. "I mean, the glaringly obvious option is that I have the baby and keep it," I added, except that thought sent slivers of, oh, pure PANIC down my spine! "Other than that … I don't know, I s'pose I could adopt it out, or hell, even have it aborted, but I don't know if I could really do that, Bea! I've only known about the little thing for a few hours, but I don't think I'd have the heart to kill it or give it away …"
"So that leaves keeping it," Bea said. "But BEFORE you go into mega-Libby-crisis-meltdown," she added, clearly noting the look on my face. "Why would that be such a terrible thing?"
"Because!" I yelled, throwing my hands into the air. "I don't know the first thing about having a bloody child! The only baby I've ever come in contact with is when Alexis from work brought in her son while picking up her paperwork! She just handed me the carrier when our boss wanted to talk to her and I swear, those five minutes I had to stand there with a sleeping baby were the most terrifying five minutes of my life! What if it woke up?! What if I dropped it? I could have messed it up, ruined its entire life! What if–?!"
"OK!" Bea cut in over me. "Clearly, we're not going to be able to avoid the aforementioned mega-Libby-crisis-meltdown, so I guess we'll just have to work around it," she added with a slight grin. Oh, yes, because this is the time for smiling! "Libby," Bea tugged on my hand then, making me look up at her. "You know that pretty much every first-time mother would be thinking the same thing, right? Even those who have handled hundreds of babies and read every book ever published on the subject. When it's their own, they're going to panic. It's ok to feel like this. It doesn't mean that you can't do it."
"… do you think I can do it?" I was almost afraid to ask, to be honest. But it was the thought plaguing me the entire day! Seriously, what do I know about babies? They cry! They make a mess! You somehow love them anyway! I don't understand how anyone could possibly love a mini-devil like that, especially since I had apparently been performing magic since I was nine months old (drove my mum nuts, but that's another story involving a French embassy. Let's not go there).
"Come on," Bea sighed, nudging me gently, clearly trying to get a smile out of me. "You're Libby god-damned Fletcher! I reckon there's nothing you can't do, if you put your brilliant mind to it!"
Oh, dear. I thought I had managed to hold the tears back for now, but apparently not! I didn't even bother try and hide them, because let's face it, I'm all over the bloody place today, aren't I? So I just let Bea hold my hand until eventually, as I sniffed and wiped my eyes on my soaked sleeve, she said,
"So I suppose the next thing to address here is James."
"Oh, yes!" I didn't even know if I was laughing or crying now. "James. Right."
"For some reason, I'm imagining him trying to get this baby on a broom before they can even crawl," Bea snorted. "Although, I'm not entirely sure whether that's a good or bad thing."
"Well, to say James is an enthusiastic person is a massive understatement," I said, admittedly unable to get the mental image out of my head. "Give him something to work for and he will attack it with wild abandon. But this … this is so crazy, I think he might just go out on a bender and down every alcoholic beverage within sight. I know that I would be, if I wasn't so damn pregnant!"
"How about in nine months, I promise to babysit at some point so you can just go out and get drunk?"
"Oh, god–" I almost laughed. "Bloody hell, don't – don't joke like that!"
"Sorry," Bea said, hastily. "You've got to admit, though, this is flippin' epic."
She wasn't wrong there!
"Oh, I don't know, Bea," I eventually sighed. "Wait – no, I do – James loves me. He used to bed any woman he met, but he fell in love with me. There always used to be a scared part of me that just assumed that he would freak out one day and leave me, but we've been through a lot … well, I like to think that he would be ok with this."
"I guess that boy certainly has grown up!" Bea said, looking impressed. "but seriously, he hasn't even mentioned marriage yet?"
"The topic's come up occasionally, but we've never really been ready to actually talk about it, yet," I admitted. Though sometimes, I wondered whether we were just getting scared and running, like we used to do back when we were still trying to figure out our relationship. But when I thought about it, it had taken nearly four years for me to even admit to myself that I had feelings for the bloke. It took me another three months to even get the courage to actually tell him I loved him! Forgive me if the m-word became a bit of a hard topic.
Still. Might've been nice if it had happened BEFORE we somehow got to this point.
"You reckon you'd do it?" Bea asked, curiously. "Like, if James reckoned that that would be the best thing for the baby, I mean. Would you marry him?"
"Bloody hell, I don't know," I said, rubbing my eyes warily. "God, Bea, my mind's still trying to get around the fact that I'm bloody pregnant!"
"Fair enough. Hell, no offence, but I always figured I'd be the first one pregnant, out of all of us!"
"I did, too!" I cried. "Actually, Rosie and I had a bet about that …"
"You bet against Rosie?" Bea said.
"I think she was hoping that Harley would end up pregnant, evicted for being unable to pay rent and having to live in a box down Knockturn Alley, but of course, wouldn't say it outright for plausible deniability," I snorted. Oh, joking. Joking made me feel better. "Either way, I think I've lost rather spectacularly."
Bea snorted at that one. "Oh, Lib. You do worry me, sometimes."
"Oi, worry about Rosie! She's the one plotting against her neighbours!"
Bea rolled her eyes at that. "Look," she said then. "I'm going to try something with you, ok? I know that looking at worst-case scenarios won't make you feel better at the moment, but I think it will help you in the long run to try and figure this out. Let's say, just for the moment, James isn't ok. Say he leaves you. Would you do this on your own?"
"Oh, Merlin, you don't leave out the hard questions, do you?" I almost wanted to laugh. "I … don't know if I could do it … but hell, I would try. Right after murdering the bastard, of course."
"I would be right behind you, if that helps!" Bea told me. "Keep that answer in mind. Now, here's something better, best-case scenario: say James is completely on board and wants to marry you and everything. What then?"
I'd been mulling it over for the past few moments, and I knew I still wasn't anywhere near coming to a complete decision. But for now, I knew I had it in me to say, "Kids still turn out ok when their parents aren't married, right? It wouldn't make a difference, not to me, anyway … and if we ever did get married, I would want it to be, y'know, because he loves me. Not because of a baby."
Bea grinned. "Congratulations, Libby Fletcher," she said, grabbing my hand and punching it triumphantly into the air for me. "I believe you have successfully calmed down!"
"Hey, I wouldn't go that far," I said.
"Ok, well," Bea shrugged. "You're not still crying at any rate."
"Thank you," I told her. "Seriously, you have no idea how much I needed your rational head. I think if Jo or Rosie were here, they would just freak out as much as I was."
"Yes, well, now that we've got the hard bit out of the way – for now at least –" Bea said, starting to get a smirk on her face that somewhat scared me. "Time for the gory details! When the hell did this even happen?"
I just snorted, letting go of her hand to smack her on the shoulder. "I don't know!" I insisted. "The Healer just counted from the date of my last period to get the due date, so she said that conception would have been sometime in the middle of January, but I was in Italy that entire month! I just can't think of…"
"Hang on," Bea suddenly cut in. "isn't James' birthday in mid-January?"
My eyes went wide.
Oh.
"God, FU–!" I yelled.
"Careful, Lib, you've got an unborn child inside you–"
"–ing damnit!" I finished over her. Then, I registered her words, and added, "Well, it can cover its ears! I know it has them now!" I gripped my hair as I remembered. "God, I know exactly when! His birthday party, Fred's present was to bring me home for the night, remember? We … oh, whatever, there's absolutely no way to put it delicately. There was a lot of sex that night."
Bea stifled a grin. "I'm guessing things got out of hand?"
"I just didn't even think! I was tired and didn't think I'd even have the energy to do anything, but he kissed me and then his hands–! … er, got places," I cut myself off hastily, adding slightly more appropriate words; I figured that that was probably something Bea didn't really need to know.
Bea, however, was almost falling about laughing now. I stared in confusion before saying, "You're surprisingly not disgusted …"
"Hey, James isn't my cousin," Bea pointed out, still grinning as she sat upright. "I'm not like Rosie, who can't even mention the s-word in the same sentence as any member of her family. Oh, Merlin," she added with a snigger. "You ended up pregnant off drunken birthday sex?"
"It's the only occasion around that time that would fit!" I said, starting to find this unbelievable. "I mean, there's always been protection. I've been on the potion since I was seventeen! But … oh, god, I'm so stupid," I smacked my forehead. "When I went to Italy, I literally had about fifteen minutes to get ready to leave. I asked James to pack for me, and I didn't even check to see if I had everything. I realised that he'd accidentally forgot to pack my birth control once I got onsite, and I considered going back for it. But everything was in chaos there, and I figured I wouldn't exactly be having sex in Italy anyway, so …"
"Protection was at the far back of your mind."
"I'm going to kill him!" I pointed out.
Since laughing was a far better feeling than crying, I just caved then and ended up in hysterics once more with Bea. Rolling around the bathroom floor while crying in mirth probably made us look like madwomen, but who was the universe to tell us that? I think I deserved it!
I had no idea what to tell James when he got home.
I was pacing a hole in the carpet, currently staring at my stomach through my jumper and wondering whether it was wrong of me to start calling it Jabby Baby.
Hey, I'm not sure what's wrong with me, either! But pondering in depth philosophical debates such as these I swear were doing wonders for my mental health. I didn't even feel sick anymore! I had to admit, though, I'd feel bad for the little thing if they had to actually spend their entire life known as 'Jabby Baby'.
If James gets that tattooed on his arse as well, I swear, I will ACTUALLY kill him!
"… just putting it out there," Bea spoke up from her place on the sofa. "It's going to be totally ok."
"Oh, I wouldn't sit there, if I were you," I pointed out. "That's where Jabby Baby was made, after all."
"EW! OH MY GOD!" Bea shrieked, leaping up off the sofa like she'd been electrocuted. "Libby!"
"What? It's true!" I sniggered.
"Christ on a bike, Libby, you're going to kill me one of these days," Bea sighed, shaking her head at me. "Look, I'd actually better be heading home soon–"
"No!" I suddenly burst out, betraying the outward calm I'd somehow managed to create. I had frozen mid-stride and held out a hand. Bea hastily moved towards me, reaching out and taking it, tightly. "No – I'm sorry, I just … I don't know if I'll be able to get this out without you here …"
"Libby, as much as I love you, I'm afraid I'd rather not be around in case you accidentally snap and murder him," Bea admitted. "but I know you need me. Can I at least leave the room?"
"Oh, fine," I rolled my eyes, pretending that it was such a hard bargain to cave to … but honestly, I would've taken anything. I just needed my wonderful Bea around, ok? "But even if you are in another room," I added. "you are totally my alibi for James' murder. Ok?"
"Sure," Bea said. "but I will warn you now, if we get hauled into questioning, I do not hold up well under pressure."
"You've been a witness to many Rose-and-Scorpius fights, I'm sure you've managed it for them," I suggested.
Bea smirked. "Surprisingly, no matter how many times those two have threatened to kill one another, they've never actually done it."
I managed a grin at that. "Their wedding it going to be epic, isn't it?"
"Totally."
"LIBBY!" a loud voice suddenly yelled from the hallway. "You'll never guess what happened at work today, the investigation into Henry Watkins FINALLY got him suspended, and Luke and Billie SNOOOOOOGGED–! Bea!" James cut himself off as he crashed into the lounge and saw us together, still holding hands. I quickly let go, but of course he'd already noticed.
Why is it he can pick out subtle interactions between people, yet he didn't even notice when I got a new haircut?
"Hey!" James just continued on like nothing had happened. He strode forward, flinging his bag and jacket onto the ground as usual and throwing his arms around me, lifting me into the air. Despite the severe emotional drama of today, I still grinned. "You look like you're feeling better! Not still throwing up everywhere at any rate. Bea, you haven't been taking care of her, have you? I swear, I can manage it! But seriously, you've got to hear this story, so Luke's still claiming that he doesn't even like Billie, but I totally caught them at it when – uhhh …" James paused, placing me down on my feet as he glanced between mine and Bea's faces. "… what's going on? Is something wrong?"
Oh, hell. What do I do? Be calm, that's the first thing, Libby, be calm. You are not going to get through this if you just react off gut instinct like you always do.
"James, I'm pregnant!" I cried.
Seriously?
James stared, still with his arms around me. In fact, he didn't exactly speak, or move, or do anything for the next few minutes. Even when I loosened my grip, it was only me forcing his arms back that allowed me to take several tentative steps away, Bea staring between the two of us like a hawk.
Great. I've gone and bloody broken him!
"… you … wait, what?" James croaked out.
Bea suddenly snapped to attention. "Weeeeell, I think that's my cue to leave!" she said at once, striding for the bathroom once more. "I'll just – be in here! Please don't kill each other!"
And she slammed the door shut behind her.
… please, Bea, can I join you?
(Oct, 2030)
(Back with The James)
I am about two seconds away from snogging Libby on the spot. And I'm fairly certain that Rose wouldn't appreciate that.
"… erm, why're you staring at me?" Libby asked, hesitantly.
Screw it.
I snogged her on the spot.
"Oh, Merlin, really?" Rose complained from her side of the sofa, but I completely ignored her. C'mon, you've clearly got the picture now about why these moments are far and few between these days! Surely, you get me?
Well, all right. I suppose I'll get back to it.
"What – what was that for?" Libby practically giggled when I pulled away, exchanging a look with Rose, who subsequently rolled her eyes.
"For … everything," I grinned. "and you tell an amazing story, by the way! I knew you talked to Bea, but shit … also, I didn't realise I sounded that insane when I was high off those pain meds."
"Off your rocker didn't even cover it, mate," Rose put in.
"So does this mean I can go back to bed, now?" Libby asked, giving me a fond look. Oh, my dear Libby. She was exhausted and hormonal and about ready to snap sometimes, but despite everything she'd been through (giving birth really was not the beautiful experience everyone makes it out to be! Well, maybe a little at the end, there) she was still utterly gorgeous.
"Don't you want to help me tell the rest of the story?" I asked, kind of disappointed.
"You've managed to handle it so far, have you not?" Libby smirked. "I told my part. I think it's your job to wrap this up."
"Could you please just stay and listen?" I asked, throwing her that grin I knew sent her a bit nutty. "For this part, anyway. You're tired, I know, but I'd love for you to hear the unabridged version of my side of the story."
Libby just rolled her eyes. "Oh, go on, then," she smiled.
"There's not much to go, is there?" Rose asked, starting to get that excited look on her face once more. Jumping up onto her knees, she hugged her arms around Libby's shoulders from behind, adding, "I should've expected you'd be about as dramatic as James is! I'm still kind of jealous you went to Bea, but I get it. Unless it involves someone being physically injured, I'm bloody useless in a crisis!"
"Aw, Rosie," Libby laughed, leaning back into her. "You know I love you both equally."
"Well, if we're going to get the story back on the road," I pointed out. "Should I continue, ladies?"
Without moving from their tangled hug, both Rose and Libby nodded, enthusiastically.
"Right then!" I said. "Rosie, a while ago, I mentioned that I would eventually tell you the story about the biggest mistake I'd made in my life so far. Did I not?"
"Oh, yeah," Rose mused, moving back so Libby was leaning more comfortably against her, the two cuddling into the corner of the sofa. "Like how my mistake was sleeping with Healer O'Hotness. Still regret that, though it's a shame … he really was hot."
"Wasn't that the bloke Scorpius tried to send to hospital?" Libby asked her, glancing up.
"Oh, yeah," Rose smirked. "To this day, he still pretends that he wasn't that jealous. Please."
"Anyway!" I cut in, before they could get into some wild tangent. See, this is why it's so dangerous when the girls in my life team up together! Either nothing gets done, or I somehow end up as the butt of all jokes. "Mistake! This is that story. Because trust me, I did not handle the news of Libby being pregnant very well …"
"I'll say," Libby snorted.
"Libby!" I whined. "C'mon, you're ruining my dramatic opening!"
(Feb, 2030)
Libby … pregnant … baby … Libby … me …
Mind … not comprehending …
"James, I'm fairly certain if you say something, anything, I will not believe you have turned into a mindless robot who cannot maintain basic human function …" Libby said, her face slightly desperate.
"But …" I managed to get words out. Even if I wasn't in the right mind-space to say them, I had to get them out. "You … you're …"
"Pregnant. Yeah," Libby gave a shaky laugh. I noticed that she had tied her hair back since this morning; it was clear from her pale face and tired eyes that she was exhausted from being sick and barely sleeping ever since she'd gotten back from Italy, but good lord, that had been because she was pregnant …?
My girlfriend is PREGNANT?!
"I think I'm having a nervous breakdown …" I said, faintly.
"Oh, trust me, I went through that phase a few hours ago," Libby said, nodding. "Would you care to sit? I found that that helped me!"
Far from accepting the sofa, where she had gestured, I just sat down in the middle of the lounge floor. After I had rested my arms on my bent knees, just staring into space, Libby slowly joined, sinking down in front of me. I couldn't help staring at her stomach; it didn't even look any different! How, how could she be pregnant?
WHAT IS GOING ON?!
"I just … I don't …" I shook my head. "I don't get it! How did this … we've always been so careful …"
"Yeah, I at least managed to figure that one out," Libby said, shooting me a withering look. Oh, that's the Libby I know and love. "Tell me, do the words 'your birthday' ring a bell?"
I thought back to my 25th birthday and immediately, I let out what was probably a very un-manly-like giggle. "I don't think I could forget that birthday any time soo – oo … oon …" My voice trailed off as I remembered; the bright courtyard, Fred telling me to turn around and Libby suddenly there, Libby wrapped around me, teasing me, chasing her, slamming into her with hot lips at her neck, thrusting her hands into my hair, both of us trying desperately not to scream, if only for the innocent party guests who weren't far away …
"Yeah," Libby finished for me.
"Oh, dear god …" I said, eyes wide.
"I believe that we can now call this a lesson in 'always check when you're packing'," Libby nodded. Then, she seemed to notice the utter confusion at how she was being so dang calm about this, and she added, "Don't worry, you go through phases! I did the crying, now I'm sort of at the stage of joking about it. Sorry about that, you'll get there eventually."
"… what d'you mean, always check when you're packing?" I asked, just one of the many insane thoughts bouncing around in my head.
"Yeah, that would be the reason I could get pregnant in the first place," Libby pointed out. "I didn't take my birth control with me to Italy because you packed for me and I didn't think to check. Then I came back for your birthday, and … well, you know, I guess."
"I …" I began without really knowing what to say. There were just so many thoughts running through my head! Blimey, this day had started out so normal! I'd been all ready to celebrate the amazingness that had been today's training! Not only had Henry finally been suspended as a result of his deliberate sabotage, but I'd discovered Luke and Billie kissing each other's faces off in the men's changing rooms after practice! This day had been so bright, so usual, and I'd been more than happy coming home, despite the fact that Libby still wasn't quite over her sickness yet … wait.
That was morning sickness, wasn't it?
OH MY GOD.
JAMES, YOU IDIOT!
I had packed for her! This was my fault, wasn't it? Oh, COME ON, universe! It had been ONE time! And I know what you're all thinking: tut, tut, it only takes once, James, didn't you listen in sex ed class? Trust me, I did! Though admittedly most of us, embarrassed enough from the contents of the class as it was, had been rather more inclined to muck around and throw bits of parchment at old Madam Pomfrey, rather than learn what an erection was and why girls got moody once a month. Hogwarts had definitely seen better days when it had been forced to teach a bunch of twelve-year-olds the various forms of birth control within a medieval castle. Eventually, though, I figured I had to pick at least something to say, least Libby start thinking I was about to pass out. So in the end, I chose:
"… does it look like me or you?"
She actually started crying. Or, um, giggling, I couldn't really tell. Tears coming to her eyes, she just covered her mouth as she laughed and in the end, I found myself hiding tears from her, too. I don't even know where they were from, but c'mon, mate! Your girlfriend is crying, now is not the time to get emotional as well!
"… you always surprise me, James," Libby gasped eventually, wiping her cheeks on a sleeve that looked like it had long needed washing.
"I'm glad … I think?"
"Look … I know you haven't really had a long time to process this," Libby said, eyes and face still red. "Hell, I've only known since this morning. The only thing I've really figured out so far is that I want to keep it. I mean …" she glanced hesitantly at me. "I don't know what that means for you. But it's true, I'm going to have this baby. If … if that's ok …"
I stared for a good three seconds before words started pouring.
"Oh, good god, Libby – don't ever think that I would ask you to –" I almost made to move forward, to haul her into my arms, but thought better of it at the last second; we were still trying to get our heads around this. Cuddle time, while fantastic, would probably not help. "I understand that. Of course it's ok. I just don't know what I …"
"Yeah. I get that this is hard," Libby said, clearly trying to force a smile through her tears. "I know we haven't even talked about this before. There's a whole load of shit we haven't talked about yet, and suddenly, this happens!"
"Well, you can't ever say we're conventional," I managed to say, meeting her unbelieving smile.
"Hey, a joke!" Libby laughed. "You're almost at the same stage as me! Well done, it took me hours to get to this point."
"Whoa, hold on, I wouldn't go that far," I snorted. But it wasn't like joking was going to change this. We kind of went silent for a few moments, just staring at each other. Libby looked apprehensive, like she didn't know what was going to happen next and honestly, even I didn't know! All I wanted was to just wipe the stress off her face and declare right then and there that we would have this kid and raise it to be a proper English gentleman or lady, who was a world-class magician, volunteered at orphanages and adopted bloody puppies in his or her spare time!
… but I had no idea if any of that could be true. And what was worse, I didn't even know what my brain was telling me it wanted to be true, yet.
"Libby, I think I need to go," I said, quietly. "Not – not leaving," I added, since Libby's face had turned to one of shock and disbelief. "No, I'm not – I love you," I said simply, leaning forward against my better judgement and kissing her soundly on the lips. I pulled back and continued, "but my brain just isn't working! And I need it to figure this out. Please don't think I'm up and abandoning you, you have Bea, right?"
Libby nodded, though she had tears rolling down her cheeks again. God, I couldn't stand that.
"I don't want you to go," she said, honestly.
"I know," I told her, moving to my knees. "I don't mean to … ah, geez, I'm screwing everything up, aren't I?"
"No – no, I get it!" Libby insisted, though she obviously wiped a hand across her cheek. "I had all day by myself to get used to it. It's only fair I let you do the same. Just … promise you'll come back, ok?"
I could've made a joke … but I think this was a moment that just called for sincerity.
"I promise," I told her.
I ended up pausing just before the fireplace, glancing back. Libby had stood up, the amazing girl, still trying to smile through the tears. I noticed Bea tentatively coming out of the bathroom, standing with her back to the door, watching between us carefully. For a second, I hated myself for running away.
But I needed to do this.
The last thing I saw before being swallowed by the emerald flames, was Bea moving to throw her arms around Libby's neck.
You know, one of these days I really need to stop Flooing without thinking of a destination; eventually, I'm going to fly into some random house and come across something I'd rather not see! As it was, this time, I ended up not in Cuba (kind of unfortunately), but at the lobby for the offices of The Daily Prophet.
Huh. Brain freaks out, it immediately runs to mummy.
Unsure if I was able to face my mother yet, I quickly span on my heel and hastily started backtracking for the fireplace once more; however, just my luck, Ginny Potter's voice called out, "James!" and I was forced to make contact.
"Oh, Mum! Hiiii …" I said, trying to sound as nonchalant as humanly possible.
My mother, it seemed, wasn't buying my fake calm. Well, why would she? She was certainly one of the few people who could see right through me, after all. At 48, turning 49, she wasn't exactly young now, but my mother had never taken to the idea of 'aging gracefully'; she'd dyed her grey hairs so many times I'd lost count. I don't think I've ever had a problem that headstrong and determined Mum couldn't help me fix!
Except maybe this. Let's reserve judgement on that.
And right now, even if I hadn't been able to think of it, my brain had taken me to her anyway.
"James, darling!" Mum said, reaching me in the middle of the busy lobby and, despite her work colleagues all in the midst of evening-printing around us, she hugged me tightly. I almost gave in and hugged her back, but naturally one of us had to be the strong one in public.
"Mum," I said in a muffled voice, shoving away.
"Oh, dear. Of course this isn't a 'coming to see your mother' visit. What have you blown up this time?" Mum asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Nothing! I swear," I added, since she was continuing to look sceptical. "I just …"
Screw it. Libby didn't muck around in telling me; let's go for the 'blurting it out and hoping for the best approach'.
"Mum, Libby's pregnant."
To say Mum looked shocked was probably an understatement; in fact, her eyes practically fell out of her head! As I probably just looked desperate, Mum suddenly turned to the old wizard who was manning the reception desk and yelled out, "Oi! Fergus! Tell old Dickface I'm not coming back up for printing, he can do it himself for a change! I'm going home!"
"Got it, Mrs Potter," Fergus called back, not even looking up from his desk.
"Come on, darling," Mum said then, placing an arm around my shoulders and steering me back to the fireplace.
Mum actually took me home. As in home, home, where I grew up running around with Fred and my brother and sister, pulling Rose's hair and making fun of Lily and the other girls. Course I had been back here not so long ago, but as we all know, I had been (ahem) a little high back then.
Our house was a bit out of London, out in the countryside where apparently, we got less hassled for being the famous Potter family. While the house technically wasn't mine anymore and hadn't been for several years now, it always felt like home whenever I went back; the spacious hallway, where Al, Lily and I had worn holes in our socks by sliding across the floor; the green stain on the carpet from where Lily had stolen some of Mum's apple-flavoured shampoo and cracked the bottle when she dropped it; the bright kitchen, which was always somehow stocked with biscuits; and the warm lounge, complete with pictures spanning nearly every year of our lives up on the walls.
There's seriously only so much of little James that I can handle seeing before I start wishing I had had a cooler haircut when I was younger.
Mum practically forced me onto the sofa, immediately waving her wand and sending a tray of tea and (of course) biscuits zooming in. As she shoved a mug into my hands, I realised that she still hadn't actually said anything in response to my outburst.
Theeeeeen, it came.
"Libby is pregnant?" she practically yelled.
"Look, Mum, please don't be mad!" I cried, putting the untouched tea down, hastily. "I know, this was a mistake, we didn't plan it, but I'm going out of my mind here, and I just need–"
"Oh, my baby!" Mum cried and suddenly, I was smashed in another Ginny Potter hug. "James … oh, how could I be mad at you?"
"…'cause I got my girlfriend pregnant and screwed up our lives?" I said in a muffled voice into her shoulder.
"James," Mum pulled me back by the shoulders, using one hand to stroke my hair out of my eyes. "While I admit, I had hoped to be at least sixty when this happened, there is no way that I am angry."
"I notice you haven't mentioned me screwing up both our lives," I noted.
Mum sighed, leaning over to take a biscuit. "Run me through it, James," she said then, taking a bite. "Before your father gets home and has an aneurysm when he eventually finds out."
It wasn't easy. Even I didn't have a lot of details; I had asked Libby basically nothing, not even when she was due. I pretty much just up and left her in the middle of a bloody crisis!
Good lord, James! And you're meant to be a father?
Oh, my god, I'm going to be a father …
"… so you came to me?" Mum asked at the conclusion of my story.
"Well, I wasn't really thinking … I just jumped in the Floo and it brought me to your work, so …"
Mum watched me for a few moments, just looking and apparently taking me in. I still hadn't touched any of the tea and biscuits – I'm not sure I could eat, even if I wanted to – but Mum thankfully didn't try to force it on me once more. "Are you ok with this?" she asked me, eventually.
"I have no idea!" I cried. "Hell, I found out all but twenty minutes ago! I'm still in bloody panic mode!"
"Oh, trust me, I went through plenty of that when I found out I was pregnant with you," Mum said with a slight smile.
"Really?" I asked. I mean, I'd heard the story about my brother numerous times, thanks to his prompt arrival unintentionally causing the end of Mum's professional Quidditch career. But, y'know, I was already born in those stories. I realised I didn't actually know this one.
"Your dad never did tell you the story of how I slapped a Healer, did he?" Mum said.
"You … slapped a Healer?"
"Which hopefully, you will never do," Mum warned, nodding as she pulled a leg up under her, moving to face me on the sofa. "I was still 23 when I had you," Mum remembered. "and I found out during a routine check-up just before the new Quidditch season started. I had absolutely no idea that I could possibly be pregnant. The Healer actually congratulated me and I had to ask what the bloody hell she was talking about!"
I wasn't entirely sure what knowing this story would do to help me, but I found myself listening, regardless. As horrifying as it was to realise how your parents got pregnant, hearing the story of how Mum flipped a lid and went nuts was always likely going to make me feel better!
"So you … slapped her?" I asked her.
"It was sort of gut instinct," Mum said, actually looking sheepish. Well, that was new! "After that, I started crying and I pretty much didn't stop. I Flooed straight home to our flat and curled up in a chair for hours. Your father and I hadn't even been married a year at that point, and it had been a complete accident. I was … I was scared, James, I'm not afraid to admit that."
"When did you tell Dad?"
"Well, I'd had no idea how to do it," Mum said, smiling at me. "I actually only got around to doing it a few days later. Though he will deny it now, he totally fell off his chair."
That, thankfully, made me snort with laughter. Mum sighed, stroking my hair once more. "Oh, James," she said. "I might scream at you sometimes, but I do miss your laugh. Have you decided what you are going to do?"
"She's … she's keeping it, she's figured out that much," I said, hoping my voice didn't sound as croaky as it felt. "And I said I wasn't mad at her. That was about as far as we got before I got stupid and just hightailed it out of there!"
"Yes, well, we'll talk about hindsight in a minute," Mum said. "James, while this might have been ill-timed, I want you to know that you shouldn't be blaming yourself, or Libby."
"I don't! I don't blame her – hell, it was basically all my fault, I was the one who forgot to–"
"Ok!" Mum cut in hastily. "I don't know what you were going to say, but I'm still going to stop you right there. That's just … in my eyes, you're still my baby boy!"
"A baby boy who got his girlfriend pregnant and is now freaking out about it."
Mum sighed, titling her head as she watched me for a few moments. "… do you think you could do it?" she asked then. "Do you think that you could imagine that little baby and think, yeah, I could raise that?"
"I don't know …" I muttered, staring at my knees. Every time I thought of it, sheer terror engulfed my head. "Mum, I'm absolutely terrified! What if I screw it up and it grows up to be a deranged serial killer? What if Libby doesn't want me to have anything to do with it? What if–?!"
"Ok, first of all, I'm fairly certain that unless you do some serious emotional damage, it is highly unlikely your child will turn out to be a serial killer," Mum was right to cut me off; I'm rather certain my worries would have only gotten more crazy by the second. "And secondly, did Libby actually say she didn't want you to be a part of this?"
"Um … well …" It was my turn to feel sheepish. "I didn't really give her a chance to say anything. I kind of ran before we could, y'know, talk."
Mum gave an exasperated sigh. "James Sirius Potter!" she huffed. "Did I not teach you any sort of manners?"
"Apparently not!" I said.
"In that case," Mum said, sitting up now. "You are going to take all these biscuits with you, turn around and march back on home to your girlfriend. Libby needs you in this moment. She needs you to just be there for her and support her. You may not be ready to talk, but that's ok, because at this point, she doesn't need to talk! She just needs you to sit there and hold her hand and tell her it'll all be ok. Do you understand me?"
"Yes, Mum."
"Oh, don't you 'yes, Mum,' me," Mum grumbled, though she had to hide the slight smile on her face. She stood and I hastily scrambled to my feet, suddenly kicking myself. Of course Mum was right! How could I have been such an idiot to just leave Libby at home without me? "Please, just promise me that once the two of you have worked this out, you will tell me immediately so I can start picking out names?"
"Mum, I think you are far too excited about this than is naturally healthy," I pointed out.
"Nonsense. There's no such thing as 'too excited' for grandparents-to-be!" Mum said. Then, her face suddenly fell as it turned to one of utter horror. She then said flatly, "Oh, my god, I'm going to be a grandparent."
"Yeah, welcome to my stunned disbelief!"
"May … maybe we should both have a biscuit before you go?" Mum said hastily, her face having gone slightly pale. You know, I thought that she'd been far too calm about this whole thing; it seems that now, it was finally hitting her! She somehow managed to sit back down without missing the sofa entirely, seeing as she was staring into space. Despite her words, she never even picked up a biscuit and that was fine with me. I sat next to her, looping my arm through hers and resting my head against her shoulder.
We could do this. We could get through this.
Riiiiiight after a few minutes of internal shrieking.
When I had finally kicked myself long enough to get back home, it was to find Libby crashed out on the sofa, her head in Bea's lap as my sister-in-law flicked through channels on Libby's old P.V.
She glanced up when I Flooed back into the lounge. "Is she–?" I began.
"She's ok," Bea said softly, a hand stroking Libby's hair. "She's just tired. Fell asleep not long after you left. Which reminds me, am I going to have to kick your arse?"
I grinned. "No, I swear, Bea."
"Good," she said. "I quite like you. I'd hate to have to mess up that pretty face."
"I thought it was my arse you were kicking?"
"What? You thought I couldn't hex you at the same time? Please, I am a Ravenclaw," Bea said and my laughter was loud enough to stir Libby awake. When she noticed me standing there, probably looking horribly awkward, she sat up sharply, soon wincing.
"Ah …" she grumbled, rubbing at her head. "No sudden movements …"
"Biscuit?!" I suddenly said, rather desperate to make things better. While Libby took one look at the tin of biscuits that Mum had forced upon me before I left and nearly threw up, Bea thankfully took pity and said she would take them home; no doubt, her husband would eat them all in one go. Pretty soon, after some hugs and promises to keep things quiet until we were ready, Bea left, and it was just Libby and I sitting next to each other on the sofa.
Well. I suppose technically, that's not true; there was Libby, me, and a baby.
… or embryo … fetus? I don't bloody know!
Oh, dear. This isn't me being very calm, is it?
"Libby!" I burst out, causing her to startle. "Oh, I'm sorry. But I swear, I'm also so sorry, I didn't mean to just take off like that, I just–!"
"James, shut up," Libby cut in then, a slight smile on her pale face. "I said it was fine and it is. We're both a little freaked at the moment, and we do have a tendency to run away when things get hard."
"We always come back though, right?"
Libby leaned into the back of the sofa then, reaching out and taking my hand for good measure. "We do," she answered.
I took a deep breath.
"Lib, I want to do this. Have this baby, I mean. I want to have it with you."
She stared for a moment as I moved in closer to her, entwining our fingers tightly, trying to ignore the fact that my heart was pounding and my head was screaming, mate, are you nuts?!
"James …"
"Hear me out," I said, quickly. "I talked to my mum. She was even younger than us when she had me, and she was just as scared as we probably both are. But hell, she managed to raise me, and did a bloody good job of it, too!"
"Well–"
"Don't finish that," I cut in and Libby snorted. "I know I wasn't the easiest of sons to look after, but if my mum could handle me … I reckon we could handle whatever comes out of you. Besides, they're half me, half you; for all we know, they'll have your lively personality, my stunning good looks, and we'll end up with the most extraordinary child in all of England!"
"Lively personality?" Libby asked, raising an eyebrow. "That's all you could come up with?"
"Well, I admit, my brain is still rather fixated on the night all of this started … and I can hardly say that I hope our future child will be particularly adept at that thing you do with the–"
"OK!" Libby cried. "You're right! Stick with personality, please."
We both ended up sniggering and I was glad for it; since she'd been lazing around moaning in bed for the last few weeks, I'd barely seen her smile, let alone laugh. There was still something in her eyes, though, so I ended up saying,
"… you're still scared, aren't you?"
"What if we screw up?" she said, weakly.
"Knowing our track records, we probably will," I shrugged. "But hey, if we do screw up, we'll make sure to do it all the way! What d'you think of psychopath? I was leaning towards deranged serial killer at first, but I think psychopath has more room to grow–"
I was suddenly cut off by Libby lunging forward and kissing me. Letting go of me to thrust her hands into my hair, I was surprised, but hell, I never could say no to Libby. I let myself forget for a moment; just breathed her in and didn't spare a thought for all the worry. After a moment, she pulled away slightly, sitting back on her knees and muttering,
"James, you are a nut case."
"Why, thank you."
"And as for our kids' future, I figured we'd just go all out and let him become a man-whore."
"Ouch!" I grinned, kissing her again for good measure. "But what if she's a girl?"
"Mmm," she wrinkled her nose as she thought. "I don't know. I'm not really feeling girl."
"Lib, you can't even see the thing," I pointed out, grabbing her hands and holding them between us. "Which reminds me, I never even asked, when exactly are you due?"
"Tenth of October, but Merlin knows how accurate that is," Libby rolled her eyes. Then, she gave a deep sigh. "God! I know they say it only takes one time, but bloody hell …"
"We're just too good!" I put in. Libby grinned, but that soon quickly faded for a concerned look.
"You really are ok with this, then?" she asked, hesitantly.
"Honestly? I'm shit scared," I answered. "Seriously, my brain is Panic Mania! I mean, I have no idea what to do when it comes, or hell, even while we're waiting for it to come! I don't even know if it's really hit me yet. Ready, I am definitely not … but ok, yeah, I think I am."
"Yeah, I reckon I'm about the same," Libby smiled.
With no doubt both our minds still whirring and going a hundred miles an hour, and Libby still not completely healthy (well … I guess morning sickness will do that to you … man, I'm slow) we soon decided that we couldn't do much more that evening than crash out on the sofa together. However, I was barely watching one of our favourite P.V. shows that we'd thrown on; I was sort of staring at her abdomen in barely controlled terror/wonder. I mean … there's an actual baby in there! A baby with arms and legs and would eventually be born and I would have to take care of it! But those thoughts quickly sent me spiralling again, so I figured it was best to try and concentrate on something else. Kind of impossible to do, until Libby suddenly came out with something.
"… you're not going to ask me to marry you, right?" she said, randomly.
I sat up so quickly that I nearly accidentally smacked her on the forehead. I fumbled with the P.V. remote and hit pause while I was at it. "What? No!" I said, probably rather bluntly. Then, I winced, realising that I probably could have said that better, and added hastily,
"… uh, you didn't want me to ask you, did you?"
"No!" Libby at once. "No, I didn't! And I swear, I don't expect you to do that at all! I mean … I know we've never talked about it," she said, glancing up from where she was currently cuddling into my side. "We never even talked about having kids. Actually, we talked about pretty much nothing beyond where we were."
I couldn't think of anything to say in answer to that. I mean, I know that I'd almost constantly been thinking about the feelings I'd had ever since Libby had left for Italy; about how I'd never wanted to let her go, and all that fuzzy shit. It was simultaneously terrifying and thrilling – kind of like something else that I could mention – but I found myself talking, regardless.
"Are we really going to have that conversation now?"
"I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight if we don't," Libby said honestly.
"But I don't want to do this just because you're pregnant!"
"I know," Libby said, sitting up slightly so she could meet my gaze. "I don't, either. But in all seriousness, I reckon we're there. I was going to bring it up, actually," she added with a slight snigger. "I really can't believe all this, sometimes. As soon as I got better, I was gonna just casually mention that house we once looked at, y'know. See where the conversation went."
I grinned. "No doubt, I would've ranted about that wooden hallway for a long time. Y'know, as a stalling technique," I added.
"Clearly."
"Like, seriously, that hallway was so amazing–"
"James," Libby said.
Ah. Guess nothing changes. Well, here the hell it goes.
I took a deep breath. "I don't mind the idea of getting married."
Libby just laughed. "Well, there's a start."
"Hey, I really don't mind either way!" I insisted. "Like … I know this is the first real relationship I've ever had, the first time I've ever moved in with a girl, the first time I've ever even fallen in love … but like, I think it's forever, ok? And I don't know about you, but if that means getting married someday, then sure! But also, we could never get married, and I'd still be perfectly happy, 'cause I've got you. That make any sort of sense?"
I'm not entirely sure, but Libby was about to either snog me, or hit me.
"James," she said.
Then, she snogged me.
(Gotta say, I was hoping for that response).
"I love you," she gasped against my lips. She was sizzling warmth and blinding fire and I could feel her right down in my toes. I'd barely been able to kiss her this past month, as we'd both feared that I would catch whatever sickness she'd had … clearly a non-issue now. I thread a hand through her hair and I might've just stayed like that, happy to kiss her the rest of the night. However, there was more Libby wanted to say.
"I'm the same," she said, pulling back. "I'll admit, there was a time when I thought I'd never be that person who got married. Not because I didn't want to, but because I didn't really see the need to … but why the hell not? Maybe someday, I honestly don't care. So long as we're together. Ok?"
"Oh, I'm more than ok."
"Ever thought we'd get to this point?"
"Never in a million years," I admitted.
"Me neither," Libby grinned. "I mean, hell, I never thought I'd be the first out of everyone to have a kid! I never even thought I wanted kids!"
"I never even considered it!" I agreed.
"But you're seriously ok?"
"Lib, we've covered this," I said, rolling my eyes in amusement. "I'm ok. My head basically EXPLODED today, but … I'm ok."
"Good," Libby told me. "because my head exploded, too. Seriously, brain matter – all over the place."
"Charming image."
Libby laughed, before looking straight at me. "I'm terrified," she said clearly.
"So am I," I said. "Oh, and I love you, too."
A/N: You guuuuuyyyyyssssss! You're so AMAZING! Seriously, your reviews were so inspiring and funny and I'm overwhelmed by your love and support for this story. Thank you SO MUCH!
Dealing with the pregnancy fallout was definitely next, and we're sticking with James now until the end (though Libby will probably add her two cents in, if she can be bothered to stay awake, that is). And don't worry, his/her name won't actually be 'Jabby Baby' (thank goodness, I've already got a name picked out, lol). I REALLY hope you all liked it! :)
Please note that the next chapter, however, will probably not come out for a while. I am going on practicum (I know, AGAIN, but it's my last one before I graduate, wooo!). I always do my best to sneak in a chapter here and there, but please don't expect anything for at least four weeks. I'm so sorry, but that's life I'm afraid!
When I'm back, though, we'll nearly be done! Well, sort of. Let's just say there could be anywhere between 3 to 10 chapters left, plus an epilogue. I really don't know how it's going to go. This story just as a mind of its bloody own.
I really can't believe that I've been writing/posting this story for almost a whole year. I don't know what I'll do with my life once this is over, I really don't.
Again, thank you so much for your reviews and support! You're all phenomenal, as always.
Until next time -
- Moon. :D