Title: Love Accidentally - Chapter 36
Author: kreia03
Rating: M
Warnings: Swear words.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, and I hate that fact. Seriously.
Summary: "A little push on the right track along with a tad bit boost of self confidence, and Emily found herself walking up to the front door of Freddie's office, her fist already raised and about to knock. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, her mind blocking the unpleasant memories that had started flooding in, all of them about the last time she was stood there. It was something she opted not to remember, locking it up into that vault at the back of her mind, because this wasn't about Effy or Naomi, this was about her and her friendship with Freddie, if she could still call it that."
A/N: First part of this chapter. ^^ The next part will be posted in the next few days. Thanks for all the comments and reviews! Please leave one if you have the time. Enjoy!
If it wasn't the best morning Naomi had ever woken up into, she had no idea what else to call it.
She stirred on her bed slowly as she sensed someone blowing gently against her ear-- or maybe it was whispering, she wasn't entirely sure, the hot, ticklish breath sending a thousand tingles to her cold, sensitive skin. It roused her senses up, up to the point that it made her still half asleep mind do all sorts of twisted thinking, for known and unknown reasons, like Emily's lips kissing her senselessly for an instance, and Emily's scorching touch leaving a smoldering trail against her goose bump raised skin, and Emily's--
A soft prod on the rib, and she was quickly drawn out of it, out of that inappropriate path her mind was starting to dwell and reel into.
She let out a low, guttural groan, resonating from deep within her throat as she struggled to bat her eyes open, with a still sleepy smile curling up instantaneously on the corner of her lips when it was Emily's effulgent face that greeted her, smiling ever so warmly that it made her stomach do countless back flips and somersaults all at once, with matching butterflies incessantly fluttering within.
"Good morning." She heard Emily mutter in that husky tone of hers, ensuing into her breaking to a much wider smile.
"Morning." She replied with a muffled, soft mumble and she blinked a few more times, as if to clear her hazy, sleep-filled mind because it all seemed like a dream to her, waking up in such a way that she'd always thought would only happen on sappy, romantic movies which make her cringe to the fullest. Not that this was making her cringe now, because, clearly, it wasn't.
And since this was all a dream, or at least she thought, she took the most out of it.
Shifting on the bed as she lied flat on her back, she darted her hand out from under the thick covers, her fingers circling around Emily's wrist gently before pulling the red head close without any warning, their lips meeting in an instant into a light, chaste morning kiss-- just like in those mush-filled movies. It lasted quite longer than she had expected it, nor originally planned to, because it was meant to be a quick peck on the lips, though since it was Emily, she'd lost it again. It was already a given.
Until it dawned on her, when Emily pulled away and looked at her with bafflement, surprise and uncertainty dancing in her eyes, that it wasn't a dream at all, nowhere even near it. Emily was indeed there, standing at the side of her bed, in the middle of her room, her face looking all flushed, almost as red as her hair. And she kissed her, kissed her with ridiculous morning breath and everything.
Oh my dear Lord.
She took a long, deep swallow as she stared at the red head with wide, bulging eyes, her fingers retracting from her hold on Emily to grip the covers as hard as she could, as if it would slip away from her hands like sand, by any chance. She propped on the bed against her elbows and pressed her lips together, finally realizing that she had her mouth hanging agape for the last few minutes that had ticked by, ever since Emily pulled back. "W-What are you doing here?" She asked after a few beats, regaining her composure somehow, although the taste of the kiss was still lingering on her lips, like she could ever forget it, really.
"I came to--" Emily paused before taking a huge gulp, pushing her frantic beating heart that seemed to have lodged itself in her throat on its own. "I came to wake you up." She followed as quickly as she could, though with a slight stutter as she was still in a daze from the unexpected kiss.
"But why were you--" Naomi bit her lip. "I mean, why did you have to--"
"Because you wouldn't wake up." The red head answered, understanding what Naomi meant to ask, in some way. "You're going to be late for your meeting."
"But, but--" The blonde drawled out haltingly. "You should have-- I mean, I sleep naked!" She hissed sharply, clutching the covers tighter than she ever could as she spoke.
Emily's face grew even redder at Naomi's words. "I know that now." She swallowed hard before turning quickly around on her heels, facing the huge dresser instead.
"You should've knocked."
"I did! But you weren't answering so I figured, you were in a deep sleep."
"How long have you been here?"
It took the red head a few seconds before she could answer, because hearing the rustling of the covers were doing things with her head, and the fact that Naomi was actually naked under it didn't help at all. "N-Not that long." She screwed her eyes shut and let out uneven breaths, breathing deeply as she inhaled, because, fuck it, she was so close to hyperventilating.
"You didn't--" Naomi hesitated as she shuffled to carefully sit upright this time, raising the duvet higher so that it covered her bare shoulders as well. "I mean, you didn't see anything right?"
Emily shook her head a bit too animatedly, causing her vision to spin for a short moment. "I didn't, don't worry."
"Good then."
"Right." The red head cleared her throat, figuring that this might exactly be the right time to leave the room. "I-uhm, breakfast is ready, and Cook and Katie are waiting for you." She peered over her shoulder to chance a glance at Naomi before scrambling and stepping outside in a hurry that she almost tripped on her feet. "I'll see you downstairs." She called out as she caught herself by leaning her hand against the door, closing it behind her without waiting for the blonde's answer, too embarrassed of the situation already, and her clumsiness in addition to the whole awkward thing.
Naomi, on the other hand, continued to stare towards Emily's direction, even if the door was long closed and Emily had been gone for a good while by now, as her mind was still spinning in a massive daze, what with the recent things that had just occurred. Everything happened so fast that she actually had no idea how it all took place. The only thing clear to her was that she thought that she was rather dreaming, thus leading into that kiss, which brought about another round of tingling sensation rushing all over her, merely by remembering. Blame her still half sleepy mind for it. "Jesus." She softly murmured before filling her cheeks with air, puffing it all out to blow her fringe that was now scattered all over her forehead. Biting her lip afterwards, she stifled the smile that was about to come out, because no matter how awkward and weird it was, a kiss was still a kiss.
And it was still a good morning.
***
"Why are you so red?" Katie curiously asked as she watched her twin descend from the stairs, her brow arching up skeptically. "Did something happen?"
"I slipped." Emily answered with a shake of the head, keeping her head low to hide the worsening blush.
"Right." The older twin replied half heartedly, like she would actually believe. "Didn't know you could blush that much when you slip."
Emily rolled her eyes as she braced herself for the questions she knew Katie was about to bombard her with. "Naomi saw me." Slumping down on the empty seat beside her twin, she leaned her elbows against her knees and fixed her eyes on her fidgeting fingers instead, her gaze falling everywhere except her sister.
"Oh, okay." Katie answered, hunching her shoulders in a shrug. "Speaking of, where is she anyway?"
"Probably still getting ready. She just woke up, you know." A breath of relief subtly escaped her lips, pretty much feeling grateful that Katie had decided to drop it, or at least she thought.
"Why are your ears turning red?"
"Christ. I told you, I slipped." The younger twin answered in such a dismissing tone, something she rarely used, that Katie found herself actually closing her mouth, ceasing a snide retort. Emily could feel her blush getting worse than ever, the image of Naomi under the covers flashing through her mind over and over, like a movie she couldn't pause no matter how much she wanted to.
"Everything alright?"
Her heart skipped a massive beat at the sound of Naomi's voice, looking even more flushed if anymore possible, her face turning redder than a tomato, if that could ever happen. She could feel the hotness on her cheeks escalate into such a high degree that they felt like they were about to burst into flames any moment from now. She was well aware of Katie's quizzical stares, because she still couldn't manage to bring her head up and look at anyone, at anybody's face at all. Her ears were burning hot, and it eventually gave her away, making her efforts on hiding somewhat useless.
"Why are you blushing?" Katie exclaimed, out of nowhere. "God, don't tell me you slipped too?" She cocked her head towards Naomi's direction, demanding for a real answer, because hearing one more of that pathetic excuse of slipping might throw her in a rage. "Is somebody actually going to tell me what's happening?"
"Nothing's happening Katie." The blonde answered dismissively, quickly getting rid of the blush that was once evident through her face. "You're over thinking things."
"Why's Emily blushing as hell then?" Katie continued to pry, her eyes squinting in a skeptical manner.
"I slipped and landed on my bum." It was Emily who answered as she scowled at her sister's endless snooping, wondering if this was actually part of being hormonal. "Naomi saw me."
"Right." Naomi supplied quickly with a half hearted nod. "I kind of laughed at her. Yeah, that's it." She winced subtly because she sounded more like she was convincing herself than convincing Katie at all.
The older twin rolled her eyes. "Fine then."
"So." Naomi sidetracked as she swayed the whole conversation off the previous matter, slumping down the couch beside Emily in the process. "I take it you're accepting my offer then?" She asked, her tone hopeful, though a bit shaky as she felt her knee accidentally brush against Emily's. It was probably a stupid idea to sit beside the red head, knowing full well that Emily could bring about certain reactions in her that she never thought she had, reactions that could probably be downright embarrassing if anyone ever saw or heard.
"Yeah." Katie answered with a tentative nod, nudging Cook in his rib for him to join the conversation.
"Did you tell him?" The blonde asked as her gaze flickered between the couple, watching Katie's expression the most. "I should've not bothered to ask." She rolled her eyes when neither the older twin nor her boyfriend gave any form of answer, pretty much confirming what she had exactly feared of. "So, how much did you tell him Katiekins?" She murmured sardonically with a sneer, somehow sounding like this was all a big joke to her even though this was probably the only issue she's much too afraid of not having a grasp and control over with, not because she knew it was going to be harsh and a guaranteed downhill in terms of her career.
She was afraid because the fact that somebody else knew about the contract made it more real to her, that it actually existed, everything between her and Emily ending within nine months. If that wasn't scary as hell, she didn't know what the definition of the word was anymore.
"Nothing much." She heard Katie answer and she couldn't help but snort out a scoff.
"By that you mean everything?"
"Naomi." Cook called out, though with a heavy tone, first time he spoke since they had arrived. "Be gentle to Katie."
"Jesus." The blonde hissed sharply, letting out an exasperated breath. "I was just asking."
"I kind of told him a lot." Katie confessed, accepting the huddle Cook was offering, as if drawing some strength from him.
"I figured." Naomi brushed off. "You two are kind of a packaged deal." She exhaled wearily as her eyes followed the length of Cook's arm, which was wrapped around Katie's shoulders, somehow wondering how it would feel if she did that to Emily. Cringing a little at the absurdity of her thoughts, she lifted her hand and pinched the bridge of her nose hard and tried to get her focus back on topic, as it would seem that her mind was flying off somewhere again, something she'd been doing lately. Although her action gave Emily a rather wrong impression, probably taking it as a sign of discomfort, and she felt Emily's hand on top of her knee again, just like the last time, squeezing it in such a comforting way that she couldn't help but relax under Emily's touch, giving her a small smile in return to show her appreciation for it. "Look, Cook. Here's the thing." She continued after that brief exchange, clearing her throat to swallow the whimper threatening to come out of her lips, just because Emily's hand was beginning to absently trace lazy patterns over her jeans covered skin. "I just need you to promise me that you'll keep your mouth shut. And I'll give you anything you want."
Emily's head snapped towards Naomi's direction, eyeing the blonde with an incredulous look. "Nai--"
"It's okay Em." She broke off, smiling in the process as if to assure her that she knew what she was saying. Her hand dropped on top of Emily's and she gave it a gentle squeeze, stopping it somehow from what it was doing because it was driving her rather crazy. She returned her attention back to the couple. "I mean it. If you need anything, I'll give it." Naomi didn't miss the way Cook's eyes lightened up at her words. "If you want, I'll pay for Katie's check-ups and medicines."
"Naomi, that's too much!" Emily protested, catching the blonde's attention.
"I just want to be sure Em." She answered firmly. "I need to be sure."
"I think Emily's right." Katie butted in, both to the younger twin and the blonde's surprise. "Just giving us jobs is enough."
"But Katie--"
"I know you don't mean anything bad by it Naomi." Katie interjected, cutting the blonde off. "But it rather adds to the pressure. I mean, you know, it means a lot that you gave us jobs and it's putting enough pressure already." She confessed sheepishly, averting her gaze away from Naomi's questioning eyes. "I hope you get what I mean."
Naomi stayed in silence for a good while, contemplating on Katie's words and weighing her options at the same time, because by the looks of things, the only choice she had left was to trust Katie and Cook in this, since she pretty much gave the best things she could offer by now. All was left on Katie and Cook's hands. "Right." She nodded out of comprehension, her agreement being the last sign needed to close this compromise they had somehow managed to create. "I'm gonna have to trust you two then, and I do mean trust."
Naomi uttered the words with such weight that Katie found it all too unnerving, the seriousness of the situation finally sinking in on her. It was suddenly, like, a matter of life and death then, not only for Naomi, but for Emily as well, the realization of the effect that this secret could bring once it came out hitting her hard, because, really, all hell could break loose and it was not just Naomi who was going to sacrifice and lose things, her twin would too. Emily had already lost some because of her and she knew she won't be able to bear it if her sister would lose more. "Just-- just trust us yeah?" She cleared her throat, shifting on the seat to somehow meet Naomi's eyes, because she was going to mean it this time. "Just do."
The blonde chanced a glance to Emily first, somehow seeking comfort and assurance from her eyes, since Emily knew her sister more than she did. With a subtle nod, the younger twin answered, and she found it rather soothing, knowing the fact that she wasn't alone in dealing with this, that Emily's going to be with her all throughout.
Just the thought alone made her smile.
"My career is in your hands now Katie." She couldn't help but scoff at the idea, because, really, of all people? Katie?
"It's not just me!" The older twin retaliated. "JJ's in it too."
"JJ's crap at making small talk, let alone, talking to somebody he doesn't even know. It's very unlikely of him to spill." Naomi answered casually, her nostrils flaring as she stopped herself from bursting into laughter at the sight of Katie getting all worked up. It was oddly comforting though, that despite of the situations which brought about certain changes to them, some would remain unchanged, this nonstop bickering for one.
"God, why not just tell it straight to my face Naomi?"
"I'm not implying on anything." The blonde replied casually. "'Sides, I told you that it's not you I'm worried about, didn't I?"
Katie rolled her eyes, like it was a mandatory thing to do starting right now, and whenever she was going to talk to Naomi. "And I told you to cut him some slack, didn't I?"
"Is it me that you lot are talking about?" Cook butted in, his gaze flickering between Katie and the blonde.
"Like there'd be anybody else."
"Oi! I can be trusted yeah?" He cried out, in defense of himself. "I may have done stupid things before, but I could still be trust worthy."
"Prove it then." Naomi felt herself being held back on her seat by Emily, as she didn't notice that she was actually getting on the edge. But there just was this unexplainable distrust with Cook, a certain notion that he was always up to no good, or maybe she was just being plain judgmental. "I need you to prove it to me Cook." She replied, granting him the benefit of the doubt for the sake of her peace of mind. "Not with words."
"Look Naomi, I don't know how else I could convince you to trust me, but just do yeah?"
"I'm convincing myself Cook. Believe me, I'm trying."
***
Everything seemed to have been settled then, much to Emily's relief, without bruised lips and bloody cuts getting involved and out of the blue punches being thrown. Things might have flown smoother than she actually expected them to be, especially now that an unwritten truce somehow magically imprinted itself between her twin and Naomi. Something she never really saw coming, knowing that both of them had tempers which were quite hard to control, with tendencies of erupting over the smallest things. Although the snide comments and the bickering were still present, it was enough at least for now.
She watched with an incognizant smile as Naomi gave Katie instructions about the things she would do, having been landed as Naomi's fashion stylist slash assistant. Of course, Katie had tried complaining, telling Naomi that she wasn't allowed to carry heavy things since she was pregnant, equating 'assistant' with 'fucking golf caddy', as she would like to put it. To which the blonde replied with an "I don't think a fucking black berry is as heavy as any luggage at all." sardonically said with a matching roll of the eyes, obviously, since it was Naomi who was speaking. She could swear those two could have a 'who most do an eye roll' contest and it'd be a tie. Although hearing the words Paris, travel, fashion shows and grand hotels used in the same sentence pretty much sold the idea of being an 'assistant' to Katie, her repulsion quickly turning into eagerness. About the fashion stylist thing, Emily knew that Katie was more than thrilled of the idea, since she had always been onto clothes, fashion and the like long before, although she had thought that it was Effy's job already.
She was pretty thankful of her twin when she voiced out the question she'd been meaning to ask, seeing as she still couldn't bring herself to talk about Effy with Naomi, anything about her at all.
Not yet, maybe in time.
"I thought you already have a fashion stylist? Models have, like, one right?"
"I don't." Emily watched as Naomi shook her head. "Effy supplies me with clothes, but she's not my official stylist. I pretty much wore my own style but I'm quite bored with it. I want something new."
It wasn't a big thing at all but Emily couldn't help the wave of relief that washed through her when she heard the answer. Relief over what? She didn't have the faintest idea.
"So let me get this straight." Katie tried to clarify. "I get to dress you up, keep track of your appointments and--"
"You get to travel with me and Panda." Naomi interjected, finishing Katie's sentence for her.
"Like, to anywhere?" The older twin's eyes widened with surprise, almost popping out when she saw Naomi nod in answer. "You're serious?" A small squeal escaped from her throat, brought about by the idea that she was actually landing on her dream job after all.
"How many times do I have to repeat myself Katie?" Naomi rolled her eyes for the umpteenth time, Emily noted with a chuckle.
"God, I was just checking."
"What about me?" Cook butted in, catching the blonde's attention.
"I talked to Thomas and he'll give you a job." Naomi answered casually.
"Do I get to travel too?"
"Not actually Cook." The blonde replied and bit her bottom lip.
"What job do I exactly have?"
Naomi broke into a wide grin, with teeth bared and all. "Caretaker."
"Of what?" Cook blurted out, completely taken aback of what he had just heard.
"Toilets."
"But--" He squirmed on his seat in protest, his arm dropping from Katie's shoulders. "Are you serious?"
"It's the only job Thomas could offer right now." She brushed off. "There's nothing else vacant at the moment."
"Are you still mad at me?" He asked, turning his head to look at the younger twin. "I mean, come on. I can't be cleaning toilets while Katie's living the time of her life."
"Why ask me?" Emily retorted. "I don't have anything to do with it."
He shifted on the couch, returning his attention back to the blonde, throwing a glare to Katie, who was chuckling beside him, in the process. "Naomi." He called out in a serious tone. "Surely, there's something else yeah?"
A light hearted shrug rolled out of Naomi's shoulders, causing Cook to bury his face in his open palms, scrunching it altogether in a rather disappointed manner. Taking this as the perfect opportunity, Naomi twisted to the side and faced a silently giggling Emily, letting out a subtle wink to somehow convey the scheme she had managed to successfully pull out, in revenge for her, one way or another.
With a grateful smile, Emily soundlessly mouthed "thank you" to the blonde, before covering her mouth with her hand to hide her continuous giggling, her gratitude being answered with a playful quirk of Naomi's eyebrow, the corner of her lips curling into a sly smile, which later on turned into a soft laugh when Cook continued to grumble under his breath even if Katie was consoling him already, with a faltering straight face.
"We best be off then." Naomi announced after a few beats, still slightly amused with Cook's seemingly incessant ramblings. "Won't want to be late on your first day, would you?"
A weird sound came from Cook, which was something torn between a snort and a groan, his face obviously pained, probably imagining the amount of toilets he was bound to clean and how disgusting it could actually be.
"Right." She announced dismissively, rising from the couch with the others following her, except from Emily who remained on her seat, though their hands were still linked, unconsciously.
"You'll be back by dinner though?" Emily asked with a light tug on Naomi's hand, the hopefulness in her tone irrefutable.
"I won't be long." The blonde answered with a soft smile. "I'm just gonna show Katie her way around, and take her home, eventually."
"Oh, okay." The younger twin nodded before flashing a warm smile in return. "I'll probably take a walk then."
"To where?"
"Not sure where yet." She replied with a shrug. "But I'll be back before you get home."
Naomi took a deep breath and bit her lip before answering. "Be careful then."
"I will. You too yeah? Drive safely."
It was that simple brush of Naomi's thumb along the back of Emily's hand, which Katie saw, done repeatedly a few more times, something acted out absentmindedly, together with a soft smile and softened eyes that led Katie into thinking that this certain kind of connection probably wasn't revolving around the contract anymore. It was something deeper, a kind of connection destined to grow into something else, something wonderful, as how Katie would like to put it.
She exhaled a subtle breath of relief, as if a huge amount of pressure had been lifted from her shoulders, because, maybe, things might not turn that bad like Naomi once said it could be. It may even stir into a totally different direction, by the looks of it.
***
A little push on the right track along with a tad bit boost of self confidence, and Emily found herself walking up to the front door of Freddie's office, her fist already raised and about to knock. She closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths, her mind blocking the unpleasant memories that had started flooding in, all of them about the last time she was stood there. It was something she opted not to remember, locking it up into that vault at the back of her mind, because this wasn't about Effy or Naomi, this was about her and her friendship with Freddie, if she could still call it that.
With a light knock on the door, she patiently waited for the muffled "Come in" that Freddie normally uttered, her heart thumping out loud when she finally heard it, barely passing against the thick wooden door. A quick deep breath and she twisted the door handle, taking a tentative step forward with her head popping on the threshold, her gaze trained on a still oblivious Freddie who was busily fumbling with the papers sprawled all over his desk. She felt her breath hitching hastily, holding it in altogether when Freddie, at long last, tore his eyes away from his work, their gazes meeting eventually. She watched as he froze on his seat, his hands instantaneously dropping on his desk along with the papers he was holding, his lips pressing into such a tight line that Emily lost all the courage to speak. His face was a mixture of pain and surprise, though there wasn't any hint of anger in there, even in his eyes, and Emily couldn't help but be relieved somehow.
"Hey." Freddie softly called out after a few beats, recovering from his utter surprise.
"Hey." Emily mumbled sheepishly, catching her bottom lip in between her teeth afterwards, a total give away that she was actually losing her nerves.
"What are you doing there?" He managed to force out a chuckle, though it was strained. "Come in yeah?"
The red head nodded in response and proceeded to take the seat in front of the desk, not the place she usually occupied on the couch. She thought it was probably for the better though, to maintain some distance between them, as she was about to clear things anyway.
"This is a surprise." She didn't miss the pain on his tone and she winced subtly upon hearing it. "What brought you here?"
"I came to talk to you." She replied as she placed her purse down and shifted on her seat, into a much more comfortable position. "I mean, about--" She paused and took a deep swallow, pushing back the lump that was forming on her throat, blocking her words out. "About last time."
Freddie clasped his hands together and took a deep breath, since he knew too well that this was what it was all about. "What about it?" He asked in a low tone, masking the hurt in his voice.
"I want to apologize. I've been wanting to, for a long time." Emily confessed, throwing sideway glances at Freddie instead, because she just couldn't bear to look at him right now, couldn't bear to see him in pain. "I just couldn't seem to find the courage to do it."
"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I did. I know I did."
"Tell me what then?" Freddie replied, slouching back on his swivel chair with his fingers rubbing his temples.
It took Emily a good while before she could muster the strength to answer, because, really, admitting something you knew you did wrong had never been easy. "I've been selfish." She softly muttered, though with conviction. "I led you on and--"
"If I remember it right, it was me who made a certain decision." He interjected, cutting the red head off. "It was me who decided to pursue despite the odds."
"And I should've stopped you." She supplied quickly. "Stopping you was the right thing to do, but I didn't. And now you're hurting because of it, because of me."
"It was part of it, of the whole thing. Definitely a consequence of my decision."
"Freddie." She softly called out. "Just please be honest with me. If you're mad at me, tell me."
"But I am being honest." He hissed lowly. "I'm not mad at you, alright? I can't be."
"But surely, you do feel something bad."
"I do." He affirmed after a long pause, which seemed like an eternity to Emily. "I'm hurt, but I'm not angry at you."
She brought her guilt-filled eyes down and fixed them on her fidgeting fingers instead, blinking the newly formed tears away, because, in one way or another, this was hurting her as well. Though it was nothing compared to what Freddie must be feeling right now. "I'm sorry." She whispered, almost inaudible to Freddie's ears.
They both fell in silence for quite a long while, their jagged breaths and deeps sighs being the only sounds that could be heard around.
"Have you ever watched that movie, Imagine Me and You?" He asked after a few beats with a tight smile curling up on the corner of his lips.
Emily gently shook her head and brought her gaze up, eyeing Freddie with a quizzical look. "What about it?"
"There's this-- this line there." He paused and withdrew his hands which were resting on the arm rest, propping them against his desk as he leaned forward a little bit. "About something being the unstoppable force and something else being the immovable object." He took a deep breath and reached for his pen, twirling it around with his fingers, busying himself with something he could do to at least sway his mind off the pain, even just a little bit. "You see Emily. I tried to be the immovable object. God knows I tried real hard to be." He stopped twirling, gripping the pen tightly instead, so tight that the poor thing was almost snapping in half. "But you and Naomi, it's just unstoppable. And as much as I wanted to, we can't both exist at the same time. Somehow, someone needs to give way."
"Freddie--" She tried to protest, to voice out a single disagreement, because the guilt was eating her entirely. Freddie didn't know anything about the contract, but he's hurting because of it, he was hurting for the wrong reasons. Yet, no matter how hard she tried to push something out, the words were left bundled in her mouth.
"Really, you should see the film." He snorted a forced chuckle, trying to make things light between them. "I'm crap at explaining. You'll understand more if you watch it."
"Freddie, are we--I mean, do you want me to stay away?" She asked begrudgingly, seeing that this was the only option to stop the two of them from hurting. "I'll do that if you want. I'll stay away from you."
"Don't be silly." He fell into a scoff. "We're friends. We can't let this get in between us."
"But--"
"Just give me some time Emily." He added firmly. "A little time to heal."
"Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" A shrug rolled out from his shoulders. "Besides, I'm still your editor and you're working for me, pretty much gives you more reasons to stay."
"What can I do then? I mean, to help?"
"Really, Emily. I'll be fine." He replied with enough finality in his tone. "Don't worry about me that much yeah?"
"I can't help it." She mumbled sheepishly, averting her gaze away from Freddie, eventually falling on her fingers again. "Because we're friends."
"Try not to then." He answered back. "And maybe, we should stop talking about it, because the more that we do, the more it seems real, the more it becomes a big deal."
"I guess you're right." Emily nodded in agreement, after a short pause.
"It's like scratching an already healing wound again whenever we talk about it. And it makes it a lot easier to forget if we stop remembering."
"And some distance might help?" She suggested after a few beats, planning to keep Freddie at bay, to prevent him from hurting even further.
"It might." He replied casually as he pursed one of his hands inside the pocket of his trousers. "A safe distance I guess, for the meantime."
Feeling that this was the best compromise they could come up with, she decided to agree. "I'm okay with that." She'd actually say yes to anything that would keep her friendship with Freddie, because in truth, he was one of the best she ever had, aside from JJ. "I do have a favor to ask."
"What is it?"
"If ever-- I mean, when I step over the line, will you tell me?" She continued warily, mindful of Freddie's reactions.
Freddie let out a soft chuckle, much to the red head's surprise. "You worry too much Emily. I told you, I'll be fine. You don't have to set rules or something."
"I'm not." She countered. "I'm just, you know, being careful."
"You don't need to." He replied, this time, with a softer smile, the tightness present earlier somehow disappearing. "I think the distance would be enough."
"Well, if you say so."
"Really Emily. Stop worrying yeah?"
"I'll try." She answered, flashing him a warm smile in return.
It wasn't something perfect, though at least they had arrived into something they would both be comfortable with, a certain moot point where they could start rebuilding the friendship they thought they almost had lost.
It wasn't entirely resolved, but it would be enough for now.
***