Chapter Thirty-Six
Through forests, snowy wastelands, fiery villages, and jagged hills, nothing could stop what used to be Mario from pursuing his princess. Completely broken by disease, bizarre magic and agonizing pain, 'Mario' was no longer lucid. His mind was like a thick cloud of nightmares, a state where perhaps only somewhere deep inside he still existed. It was a place where he cowered in fear at the subconscious feelings of hate and psychopathy that had lived within him since he had come into existence and just now had taken rise as the new, prime control of his actions. These were the feelings that defined him now, and somewhere his conscious state was powerless to fight against it.
Mario's paradoxically both pure and cloudy self had reached Mushroom City. The Book hadn't had to guide him for quite a while, since all it had wanted was to get Mario to start heading south. Now that Mario had moved on like he was meant to, the only thing he needed to do in order to continue the Book's plans was to spot Mushroom City from the grassy field just south of Booster Pass— and see it he did. As he got closer he also smelled it, taking in the smell of the people moving about and the smog from some of the chimneys, as well as the far scent of what he had previously considered food. Also present were far-off sounds of honking cars and yelling people. Yes, these signs of life had no hope of not attracting the attention of the bloodthirsty, deranged monster making its way down Booster Pass and vaguely towards the Western Ocean.
By either fate or a process as long as time itself, most of the people there were doomed to die an unnatural death, whether it was because of Mario or another.
Mario dragged his bad leg forward and stumbled. He was slow, and weak from hunger, but once he made it to the city he'd find the nourishment he'd need to regain his monstrous strength.
He would make it into the streets later that afternoon.
"Here we are. We hope you'll enjoy the accommodations." Dribble guided Peach down a dark hallway and then ripped the blindfold from her face, with no time to react before she was roughly shoved into a coal black room. Peach screamed, and, falling forward, waved her hands wildly in front of herself in order to stop from crashing face-first into the cement floor.
"Hey…?" A voice mumbled from somewhere nearby— a fellow prisoner.
"Mmmeeiiiiimmmmmeiiiim! You having fun with-o you new roommate!" 'Spitz' screeched at Peach. Peach landed helplessly on the ground. The door to the room clanged shut behind her, and a mockingly loud locking sound followed after.
"We'll be back later, once we know what the boss wants done with ya." Dribble did a little wave in the invisible darkness and then walked away, his large boots creating echoing clumps for a short while after.
"Wait! Wait! Please…!" The miserable voice besides Peach called out before losing hope.
Peach scurried away from her new companion's voice and into the wall on the other side of the cell. Her paranoia had reached top level now, for she had no idea what kind of horrible thing was in here with her. She hesitated, unsure of what to do. What had she done when she had been in precarious situations before? Well, that had been being captured by Bowser… Wait, what did she actually do when she was captured by Bowser?
She sat and waited for Mario, taking Bowser's increasingly half-hearted pampering with reaction neither positive nor negative. But…there was no Mario anymore.
"Hello? Is there someone else here now?" The voice asked a bit weakly. It sniffled a bit.
"Stay away from me." Peach demanded. If this new person approached her in any kind of way she was going to absolutely explode, possibly in a frantic attack.
"Oh, don't worry about that." The voice laughed dryly, but in a sad sense. "I can hardly move."
…? What? "Well…" Peach faltered before latching on to the new chance for confidence. "…Good." She reached a hand down and began trying to find something on the ground that she could defend herself with.
"Wow…so I guess this is jail, huh?" The voice said good-heartedly. "Oh, sorry, I didn't introduce myself. The name's Seigal." It sounded like he was scratching his arm while he spoke. The noise made Peach shudder a bit.
"Ha!" Peach laughed a bit nastily and nervously as her search continued to prove useless— Was there nothing in this cell to use as a weapon?!
Seigal waited for a moment for Peach to offer up her own name. He continued when he found his only response to be awkward silence. "Well, I'm glad I have a, uh, roommate now. It was getting pretty lonely in here." He sniffled loudly.
I can't see anything in this darkness but he sounds like a toad… Peach considered. But then again…there's something odd about his voice I can't quite be certain of…is he a toad? She was getting more and more nervous as the search of the ground produced nothing to defend herself with.
"I know we just met and all…ha ha…" Seigal laughed weakly. "But I wanted to know if you have any Mush with you. I could really use some." He scratched his arm and sniffled again. He was getting more and more desperate. A little horrifically, he wasn't sure what he'd be doing right then if he wasn't paralyzed.
On Peach's side of things, she now knew why his scratching and sniffling was bringing such unpleasant memories back to her. She could see her father again, back in Mushroom Castle. He slipped around a corner, evading her, and sniffling loudly. He looked strangely hunched…weaker than usual. Something was going on…something she wouldn't discover until it was too late.
Seigal sniffled again. Peach realized that her dear rat Marty was no longer in her hair, or anywhere near her. He was gone.
The outrage and stress that Peach had suffered during the day finally reached a breaking point. Bursting upward, she exploded.
Walking along with the rest of the Koopa Troop army, Koji and General Guy had entered into a conversation.
"You can sense wavelengths? Of energy?" General Guy asked in his most interested tone possible. "Please tell me more."
"Affirmative." Koji looked over to the down-looking yoshi boy walking dejectedly beside her. She wondered how he was he doing. It was unfortunate that she could hardly feel anything about herself, much less another person. "As far as I have found, I have been able to focus in on a number of different body organs: I have found success with hearts, brains, kidneys, and livers. Explosion and implosion. In one instance, I was also able to detonate a leaf."
"A leaf…I see." General Guy paused as if he was making a mental note. "Explosion and implosion…have you tried dissolution?"
"That was what I was going to attempt next." Koji replied tonelessly.
They're quite a match! Jagger thought furiously some way behind. We've seriously recruited a menace like that toad woman… What are we coming to? What's next? Are we going to recruit Luigi!?
Some angry whispering nearby interrupted his thoughts and he paused to glance back at the source of the sound. A small group of soldiers were walking closely together, a demeanor of sullen anger surrounding them. When they noticed Jagger's attention they stopped talking immediately, returning to their correct marching positions to glare forward angrily.
"Soldiers! Is there a problem here?" Jagger slowed down his own paced march to even himself with the bitter troopers.
"No sir." A koopa responded promptly, but falsely.
"I feel like there's a problem." Jagger glanced up and down the line of troopers he walked beside and almost blanched when he felt the same aura of discontent coming from vague spots all around him.
Was this a force he wanted to mess with at the moment? No- there was always these fragments of momentary anger in the Koopa Troop, a sense of seeds of discontentment. It had been like this for as long as he'd been a part of it, and he recognized it as something to be aware of, but not to be too worried about.
Still- in some way, it felt like a bit more now. The Koopa Troop was generally a miserable group, following orders without too much question. It had always been a bit of a mystery but now that the latest king Qourk had begun to flash that strange gem around so much, Jagger had the feeling that everything that happened in the kingdom all lead back to that thing. The undying loyalty of the Koopa Troop to the Koopa Royal family, no matter the cost: were they all puppets on a massive series of strings, leading back to that goddamn green crystal?
"Keep marching. Think of the victory of the Koopa Kingdom." Jagger said sternly. These angry feelings he was sensing were surely just the usual fluke of discontent the Koopa Troop emanated every once in a while. Once Mushroom Castle was taken the Troop would probably be strong together in celebrating their victory. The victory they had fought for for the last millennium- once that moment came, everything would have to be good for at least some time, wouldn't it?
Jagger moved himself back towards the toad freak and General Guy. If there was one problem he felt that he COULD do something about—
"...they are without wavelengths. They merely capture sound, and have no internal rhythm- as far as I can tell." Koji responded to something.
"That statement is false." General Guy asserted. "Ears have miniature bones that capture sounds by creating beats— I believe. You could likely harness those beats to detonate this…'eardrum'—if not the ear itself."
"That is interesting." Koji said with a tone of dead boredom. She probably was interested, though.
He's giving her ideas on how to kill us! Jagger felt like he was going crazy. How am I the only one not to be enthused by bringing this thing along? I guess General Paraplonk is on my side as well, but… Where the hell is he?!
"Hmmm…" General Goomp had been thinking silently the entire time. "What about backbones? Could you manipulate backbones?"
"Spines are not organs." Koji responded quickly, shutting Goomp down.
"No…they are not. But what about the organs around the spine?" General Guy thought quickly. He seemed to still have the odd knowledge of anatomy he had gained from being the Koopa Castle torturer, until the day he had handed the position over to Lucky. "Consider the…nerves. The nerves near the spine— they control all movements."
"General Guy, a word?" Jagger broke in as calmly as he could.
"The…nerves?" Koji thought for a moment.
"What is it, General Jagger?" General Guy responded stiffly.
Jagger gestured backwards and they slowed their walk down so that they were appropriately separated from Koji and the yoshi boy. Koji either didn't care or didn't notice. Jagger jumped straight to the point.
"General Guy, why are you giving that thing ideas on how to kill us?"
"General Jagger…" General Guy started out slowly. "I cannot understand how you do not see the benefit of our new soldier. Were you not someone who argued earlier against…certain plans involving toads?"
"That has nothing to do with it, and you know it. This…Koji…is dangerous. Maybe she isn't part of the Mushroom Kingdom forces, but who says that she is undoubtedly part of ours?" Jagger watched Koji. From behind she looked so perfectly normal. "Isn't the fact that she joined us so easily a warning sign to you?"
"I have talked with her and she has explained the situation." General Guy said less coldly than usual. "She is indeed rebelling against the Mushroom Kingdom forces as they are the ones who injured her. The yoshi boy she is taking to his home two villages away."
"Are…are you becoming fond of her?" Jagger spat.
"She is quite strong, to survive such tremendous injuries. Her powers fascinate as well." General Guy pondered. "She said she is able to see from the odd mushroom charm she wears around her neck."
He is becoming fond of her! Jagger concluded. The regular soldiers of the Koopa Troop obviously fear her and hate her, mostly because of her murder of the private. But General Guy won't listen to that, will he? It's always been about the overall well-being of the Koopa Kingdom's power to him, the cogs hardly matter. I can't say I haven't thought like that for most of my years as a general, but now…everything feels like it is changing. What is really important?
More importantly: how soon until more people die? What is even the real intention of Koji, if she's not just insane? I won't take my chances for much longer. I'll talk to her on my own time— and then make a decision.
...Or, even better and safer yet…
I'm trapped with an insane woman… Seigal thought horrifically.
"LET ME OUT!" The woman screamed. Seigal could hear her wildly shaking the bars of their cell in the darkness. "I AM THE PRINCESS OF THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM!" She screamed into the void beyond.
And she thinks she's Princess Peach…Seigal thought, depressed. More importantly, she didn't have any Mush on her…ughh…I…could really use some…
"I AM TRAPPED WITH A JUNKIE!" 'Peach' seemed like she was about to explode. She had gone off immediately after Seigal had politely asked for some Mush, and had only gotten louder from there. He really had no idea what her problem was.
"Er, miss…" Seigal tried to break in.
"SHUT UP!" 'Peach' screamed back at him. She shook the steel bars with all of her might, as if she was about to tear them away. "WHY AM I HERE?! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS?!"
Seigal sighed and gave up trying to reason with her. It seemed that she was determined to be enraged at the world. He doubted that whoever she was, she had had nowhere near as horrible the last few days that he had had. He had been a king! He had ruled a kingdom! And he had wasted it all before getting to do anything…
"GOD, WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!" 'Peach's' voice reached a tremendous crescendo before cracking into a new series of sobs.
"Please don't cry." Seigal groaned. The sound was making him feel even more depressed and without hope.
"Shut…up…" Peach cried back. "I…I'm not a criminal… I don't deserve this."
"I'm not a criminal either." Seigal sniffled. Mush…he could really use some. And 'Peach's' outbursts were not helping. Every time she screamed he could feel his own sense of hysteria rising, fueled by the suffocating darkness, lack of Mush, and near-paralysis.
"You…you inhale Mush! That makes you a criminal!" Peach spat back. "It is against the law in the Mushroom Kingdom to use Mush!"
"It is? I…I…didn't know." That was a lie. It wasn't even legal in the Koopa Kingdom. Only wild and often terrible places like Sarasaland let Mush get sold around legally. Even then, there were worse things that even those places wouldn't allow to be traded around in a market.
"I don't know who you are, but I know already that you're a disgusting monster if you're a user." 'Peach' declared nastily. She sounded proud of herself, like she was fighting some battle for justice. It made Seigal angry.
"It's not like…it's not like I'm using Starm." Seigal retorted defensively. Starm…
There were three common dangerous drugs that had existed at some point in every country on the Continent: Mush, Starm, and simple Tobacco. Mush was a controversial drug that was difficult to use 'safely', and even then, was generally just illegal. Tobacco was perhaps the safest, originating from somewhere in the Tribal Lands and making its way south. It didn't inspire any kind of a real high in the user but merely calmed them and reportedly made some lives happier entirely. The cost was eventual cancer, however.
But Starm was by far the worst— infamously evil and banned in every land except for the Southern Mushroom Kingdom, which was a wild and lawless place besides (And even then, the occasional powers that existed there would attempt to do everything they could to stamp the cursed substance out). Yes, Starm was dangerous, not just for the user, but for many that could happen to be nearby. The yellow powder inspired a murderous rage within the user, a rage that could take five minutes to generally half-an-hour to end depending on the amount taken. This rage would cause the user to kill: seek, kill, and then reward the murder with the greatest feelings imaginable. The neuroscience was complicated, but essentially it came down to activating the most basic, animalistic components of the brain, and connecting them with the deepest and most mystic pleasures of REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, more commonly known as dream sleep. This created the combination of killing drive and happiness that was absolutely unrivaled in anything else in the world.
Mush was definitely a better alternative to Starm. Even Seigal had known that Starm was not the path to take when he was looking for something to temporarily replace his addiction to the Rigex.
"You think you're PERFECT because you don't use Starm?" 'Peach' attacked shakily. "I'd like to see what you look like, just to see your trashy junky body! …I bet that's why your back hurts, doesn't it?"
"No…" Seigal lied obviously.
"Yes!" 'Peach' pressed forward eagerly. "You piece of trash— you kept using and you got yourself hurt being an idiot!" She was finding quite a bit of enjoyment in hating and mocking someone she had just met.
"No…" Seigal trembled. He wanted to get up and stand his crazy attacker down. She reminded him of that woman in that mansion he had broken into. Talking back to him— oh god. That had actually happened.
"No? Is that all you can say?" Peach was feeling a bit hysterical again, now with victory. Mentally breaking down this crippled junkie she was trapped with made her feel like she was avenging her father's death. "You're as pathetic as they come, aren't you?"
"Yeah? And…and what about you?" He couldn't defend himself so he tried to attack back. "What…what are you? You think you're Princess Peach? You just sound like a…a crazy woman to me." He always tried to be a happy and nice person when he wasn't high, and he was finding it hard to be mean— even now.
"I AM Princess Peach." 'Peach' threw back. "And once I'm out of here, you'll find out that you messed with the wrong person."
"I'm from Mushroom City you stupid koopa. You messed with the wrong toad."
Seigal gasped. The violent fight with the toad woman back in Diamond Town surged into his mind. He had killed someone for some jewels, hadn't he?
"That's right." Peach said smugly. "Best to shut your mouth now, I may only give you five years in the dungeons."
The dagger, flipped in Seigal's struggle, pushed up and into the woman's throat, all the way to the hilt. The blood rushed down onto Seigal's neck and face, and he felt the elated feeling of victory for a moment.
Oh god…
A short silence followed in the darkness of the cell before Peach heard the familiar sniffling of her jail companion. But it was a changed sniffling— a sniffling from crying.
"Ha." Peach exclaimed simply. She crossed her arms haughtily and sat down against the side of the wall, her fight won. But even as she rested in victory, she felt sad guiltiness reaching her. She tried to shake it off; she had nothing to be ashamed of.
Its cold embrace continued to tighten itself around her heart anyway.
So I'm all alone again. THIS is what friendship amounts to, He thought as he joined his position in the tight and grimly organized line. He had been chosen, he had the honor to join a troop that was heading forward to directly attack Mario's house. Bowser was certain in his surprise maneuver, certain enough to send ahead a scouting patrol that was made up of all of the youngest members of the troop. They were the least hardened and therefore the least useful. Their screams would serve as a good warning for the main patrol behind—
"Get back, moron!" Ghrea elbowed Wes roughly behind her as she whipped out a worn pair of light green binoculars.
Wes moaned a bit and blinked tiredly at her. "How much do you have in your shell?" He grumbled sleepily. As Ghrea had watched Warioware Inc.'s tower, Wes had gotten his first few hours of sleep since the strangely mystic night when Ghrea had shown off the fraction of her domino collection. Although it had been in the range of about forty hours ago, it really felt like a lifetime ago.
Sweet sleep! If only it wasn't plagued by vague nightmares masquerading or being masqueraded by memories so frustratingly locked away so-as to drive one into the depths of insanity! Fortunately the worst of this had been left to his dreams, but like a highly pressurized container, his terribly inexperienced and mildly morphed (to a point of shrinkage, thanks to the disturbing organization of the Koopa Troop) mind was becoming less and less able to handle the securement of the broken memories piercing him like shattered glass. It was HARD to express how this cruel complexity felt in simple sentences!
BUT, in response to his querulous question, the red koopa answered:
"Shh!"
If she would bother to explain she would tell him that her back had been specially curved for many years so that she could store more than double the number of items in her shell than an ordinary, unspecialized koopa could. It was a technique that was banned in the Koopa Kingdom, oddly enough, due to the incredibly painful nature of the process that provided the spine curvature necessary for such an incredible, practically evolutionary adaptation.
The red koopa shivered. "It's happening!" Ghrea whispered excitedly. "The auction is starting soon!"
Wes peered out of the dumpster that he and Ghrea had been hiding in, trying to focus his tired eyes. Across the street, a small stream of species in various kinds of outfits were heading for the large glass front doors to Warioware Incorporated. Business suits, t-shirts, and even raggedy clothes were on the individuals making their way inside of the building.
The door was guarded: on one side by a large human man wearing a green cap with a stylized "D" on it and carrying a clipboard with papers, on the other by another large human man with a large cloud of wig-y blue hair, large shades, and a vaguely outdated red jacket.
"Two humans acting as bodyguards. How fascinatin'." Ghrea pulled a notebook and pencil out of her shell and started writing something down. "And Wario, of course, is human. I wonder: how many humans in total are employed? It might be the largest gathering outside of the Tribal Lands."
Wes strained slightly to see what Ghrea was writing, but she turned away from him every time he almost managed to get a peek. It was unclear whether it was coincidence or whether she truly didn't want him seeing. Thunder rumbled somewhere above.
"Looks like this' our chance," Ghrea said excitedly. She pulled her sunglasses down for a moment and looked both determinedly and elatedly at Wes. She tapped a finger against the side of her head, and her green eyes sparkled excitedly. "It's time for infiltration."
"Infiltration?" Wes peered with more than a small bit of anxiety at the formidable tower nearby. He had gotten terrible and dangerous vibes ever since he'd seen the building, a general portent of future doom. With the Book hiding in his shell, trembling slightly with silent laughter every so often, the fear was increased, with the feeling that something terrible and even ghastly was going to happen very very soon. "Into… Warioware?"
"You got it." Ghrea finished up writing on her notebook and stuffed it back away. She moved to start climbing out of the dumpster.
"W-wait. Ghrea…" He hesitated. "I… What if I stay lookout?"
"Lookout?" Ghrea asked unbelievingly.
"Y-yeah…if that's okay…" Wes winced.
"If that's okay? Wes, I need you for this," Ghrea said with just the right amount of hinting persuasion.
"For what?" Wes asked miserably.
"Wes, we're partners now, understand?" She grabbed Wes by the shoulders. "We're working together to take down a kingpin selling the deadliest weapon known on the Continent."
"The Continent…?" Wes asked.
"We're talking Starm here, Wes!" Ghrea shook him. "Now that we're partners, I can tell you that the package we've been chasing all this time has contained Starm. Do you know what Starm is, Wes?"
"No…?"
"It's this yellow powder that criminals use to get high out of their minds," Ghrea started to explain.
"High..?"
"You don't-? Ah, right, whatever, that's not the point anyway. Listen: this stuff drives the user absolutely wild; it makes them want to kill everyone around them. And the more they get, the worse things become." She shook her head. "The stuff is rampant in Sarasaland, but the place is a hellhole anyway."
"And this package came from Sarasaland?" Wes remembered overhearing the transaction at the Fahr Trading Outpost.
"Enough questions. We need to head inside," Ghrea tapped on her wrist like there was an invisible watch there. "The show is about to start."
Ghrea jumped out of the dumpster at this point. Wes followed after nervously, stopping himself from asking exactly how they planned to get inside the building.
It was simple enough: The two of them looped around the block (keeping a careful eye out to make sure no one specifically noticed Ghrea who could possibly have been reported from the café incident by now) and then made their way up the street as naturally as possible.
When they got up to the entrance door—
"Names?" The human with the 'D' cap asked.
"Maria Baccano. And this is my boyfriend, Isaac Dian." Ghrea pulled Wes close.
"Odd— those sound like human names." The other human with the puffed blue hair crossed his arms.
The sky rumbled again. Perhaps it would rain later.
"We were both born in the Tribal Lands." Ghrea explained. She flinched like she had forgotten something and then bowed her head hastily. Wes raised an eyebrow.
"Hmm." The human with the 'D' cap read through the printed papers he carried, looking for the names he had been given. "I see. Interestin'. Yep, you're both in here." He nodded and gestured to the door. Ghrea pushed forward and headed inside, Wes followed nervously. He wondered where Ghrea had gotten those names.
Toadette had been raised in Mushroom City after her mother had fled with her from the Southern Mushroom Kingdom. Back there, the two (mother and infant) had been involved in a dangerous and almost comically bizarre series of events too lengthy and complicated to entail here. Toadette's mother held a lot of hope for Mushroom City, which had been a somewhat safer place thirty-four years ago when she had worked to travel there. Upon arrival, that hope was mostly affirmed.
Toadette's mother, being from the farther reaches of the Southern Mushroom Kingdom, was incredibly strong as well as spiritually tough. She fought her way up to the top of a shipping company centered in Mushroom City and was soon controlling a large portion of the business as a regional manager. When Toadette was eight she joined the company as a simple carrier, moving smaller crates to and from ships while slowly building her strength.
As the years passed the company grew stronger and stronger, and then one day, when Toadette was sixteen, there came news that the headquarters of the company— centered on Isle Delfino— was shutting down. It was an economic disaster, as it seemed very unlikely that the branch of the company in Mushroom City could survive without its directing base. Toadette and her mother wondered if they were about to be plunged back into poverty, just where they had started sixteen years ago. They started making uneasy preparations, unsure of the suddenly threatening tomorrow.
Then a miracle occurred. A human man came from the Tribal Lands, bringing with him an absolute fortune of rare jewels and minerals. He wished to start a business in Mushroom City, and he had heard that the company that Toadette's mother managed was the best on the Continent. He was completely unaware of what was happening in the Delfino Islands, as was most everyone in Mushroom City. Toadette's mother was able to convince the human to buy what was left of the company for an incredibly good price.
The man's name was Wario. Though Toadette's mother believed that she had tricked him, Wario was an absolute genius with business. With the trading company under his control he expanded, making deals with his connections in the Tribal Lands to slowly grow more and more powerful. Soon enough he detached those connections completely and began to make clever trade with the Oho Sea Ternion: the kingdoms of Sarasaland, Beanbean, and Subcon (as it was known before it became Jewelry Land).
Though Toadette's mother quit, satisfied with all of the money that she'd ever need, Toadette continued working in the shipping business, now called Warioware. More years passed, and Toadette became extremely familiar with Wario, his business, and the strange associates that he recruited over the years, many from the same place that he had come from. She became good friends with almost all of them, and she apologized profusely when she had to leave.
Her childhood friend Alago had suddenly contacted her years after disappearing, asking and paying her to help him with something that was going to go down soon at Mushroom Castle. She had had a strange feeling about it even back then, but if Alago was asking, she'd come and help. He'd saved her from something terrible back when they were both younger.
So then: half a year after coming to Mushroom Castle, Toadette had been ordered to follow Blii around Mushroom City and wait for him to mess around with the wrong person. No one that they had run into had wanted to kill Blii yet, however, and Toadette was getting impatient. Tired of walking, she formed a basically good idea: she could bring Blii to Warioware, tell him that her former crew would be easy recruits, and then have her friends there kill him. -
"Names?" Some new human guy with a "D" cap asked. Toadette didn't like the way he was looking down at her. She also didn't like his aura.
"Toadette," Toadette said flatly. "And some guests." She looked pointedly over to Jimmy, who was guarding the other side of the door.
"Yo, Toadette, you're back!" Jimmy said happily. He moved forward and slapped open palms with Toadette in the usual greeting and then snapped both of his fingers at the new guy. "Back down Drib, Toadette's an old friend."
"Yeah? An old friend?" 'Drib' clearly wanted to say something further. Toadette was getting ready to knock some sense into the newbie. If he said ONE goddamn thing about her height…
"Wow, it really is a tall building!" Blii interrupted before the situation could tip off of a metaphorical cliff. "It didn't look so tall from far away, but now…hee…he he he!" He shivered with some bizarre excitement. "But is this one of those buildings that is shorter on the inside, hee?"
"Go on ahead and look around for recruits," Toadette told Blii. "I'm going to catch up quickly with my friends here."
"Well, don't be too long," Blii giggled. "I'll need you around."
Wario was famous for his yellow clothing wasn't he? Oh giddy god!— I feel like something wonderful is going to happen. Blii thought deliriously as he entered the building, the other New Era Army members that had come along following after him. He had to eat—?—meet Wario.
Is he drooling? Toadette observed with some disgust.
"Creepy freak you got there, Toadette." Jimmy exclaimed wondrously. "He your boyfriend?"
"Shut the hell up, Jimmy." Toadette smirked. If anyone outside of Warioware had said that she would've knocked their lights out. "No, listen. I'm going to need that guy dead, soon."
"Dead?" 'Drib' commented with some mild interest.
"He's a problem for my employer," That was as far as Toadette was going to explain, at least with the newbie around. You never trusted a new member in anything. "Think you guys can arrange something?"
"No problem," Jimmy snapped his fingers. "Drib and I'll have to finish our duties out here, but once the auction starts, we can drag him off somewhere and do something suitable."
"Auction?" Toadette asked with considerable interest. "What's happenin' now? What'd you guys get?" She continued conspiratorially. Damn it, she wished she was back in the business right now.
"You won't believe it— it's really something!" Jimmy began to explain eagerly, as grey clouds began to blot out the sky.
Author's Notes: If you're familiar with the Warioware series you may be wondering about Dribble and Spitz in this story. There are no real "dog people" in Mario besides Dribble so I didn't think it'd be worth it stuffing another species into the world. It was still worth making him somewhat "unique" so he's a human. Spitz is still a...cat...or something, which is not a species generally known to the Mushroom Kingdom (or most of the Continent). Dribble's probably the only person who really knows anything about Spitz.