I don't like this. When I wrote it out in my mind I only did the dialogue, and so I struggled to get anything besides that in the second part, and it took way to long to write.

Sorry for the delay. My reason is… I didn't feel like writing this.

IMPORTANT (sort of): Back in chapter 32, I think, there were the two guys on the track team with the bromance, who I called Tom and Rick. But I was reading the Clockwork Prince (Omigod, so good!) and I realised that the perfect canon characters for them were Jem and Will, so I replaced them. If you go back to look, I changed the names.

The reviews are awesome as always.

I own nothink.

Magnus pulled his jacket tight around himself, attempting to shelter himself from the cold wind that was seemingly insistent on blowing his clothes off his body. Luckily it wasn't snowing at that exact moment, but it was cold as hell, and there was still white sludge up to the top of his high boots. And not the good kind. The sky was grey with dark clouds and he prayed that it didn't snow while he was still outside. He had been looking for probably two or three hours so far, and nothing. No matter where he looked, inside, outside, Manhattan or not, Alec was non-existent.

The tall boy looked around the park he was in, shocked at the large number of people on the bleak day. Children playing games in the snow, couples for some reason finding it romantic to sit on a bench and make out in the eye of a blizzard. Fucking idiots. Fucking idiotic lucky bastards.

He looked up at the sky once again, the small parts of sky visible behind the clouds darkening along with them. He pulled his jacket tighter around himself and sighed in frustration and anger. He had to find him. He had to find him before… something bad happened.

Fuck it was so cold.

He took a last glance around, scanning the park once again. He wasn't there. He couldn't be… But he saw something, behind some bench, a figure in black lying in the stark white of the snow, two teens placing a few bills on his chest. Like a homeless person or some shit, but he was so familiar. Dark hair with the dark clothes, skin almost as pale as the snow he seemed passed out in, long muscled limbs.

No.

Within a moment he had pushed the two teens leaving money aside and was on his knees in the slush, wiping snow off a pale body. Please. Please no. He raised his shaking hands to wipe the snow off the face of the pale form in his hands, revealing an all too familiar face. Alec's face was covered in a thin spatter of snow; the parts of skin touching Magnus were cold as ice.

Fuck. To think he usually likes the cold.

He quickly places two long fingers on Alec's pulse point, his own heartbeat thundering so strong he doesn't know how he can even attempt to find the other boy's. And he can't. He can't. He can't feel a pulse. It's not faint, it's not slow, and even though his fingers are shaking so hard from the cold he can barely feel his fingertips at all, he can't feel it.

But it has to be there. He would know. If Alec had died…

He would know.

He quickly pulls his phone from his pocket and dials with quivering fingers.

"Yes. I need an Ambulance. My bo- my friend has been in the snow for a long time and I can't find a pulse."

Alec blinked his eyes, a bright light meeting his newly opened eyes. He knew this light. God damn hospital again. How come this keeps happening to you? At least he doesn't appear to be bald again. That had really sucked. But his body was insanely numb. What had…

Oh. Right. Magnus had, shit. He took a deep breath and looked sideways, shocked to see in the seat next to him, not dissimilar to the last time he had been in this situation (seriously, why had he been here more than once?), Magnus was seated in the seat next to him, his hands clasped tightly in front of him. It was almost laughable. Was he pretending he actually still cared?

"Why is it I keep waking up in hospitals with you sitting next me?"

Magnus' head jotted up, an almost hopeful smile on his face. That was weird. Why the hell did he care?

"Alec, I'm so glad you-" Magnus reached forward to place a hand on his arm, and his voice cut off as Alec flinched away. He didn't want Magnus touching him.

"Why are you here Magnus?" His voice was cool and precise. He couldn't decide whether he was trying not to cry, or not to punch his ex. It was probably a little bit of both. He couldn't quite calm down his racing mind. Or that little voice. Which was very much leaning towards the violence which in turn was very much aimed at his crotch.

"I, I wanted to make sure you were okay. I mean, after I found you, I needed to-"

"You found me? Why? Did you look for me or something?"

"Of course I did. I thought something was wrong! And it turns out I was right."

Alec shot Magnus a glare. "Why did you even care? We broke up, remember?"

"Alexander, I-I, I love you. Of course I looked for you."

Alec flinched, and retracted back further into his bed. The fuck was going on? Magnus, shit. He couldn't goddamn DO THIS! He looked at Magnus, and as hard as he looked, he saw no sign of deceit within Magnus big green eyes.

"No you don't." He saw the comeback coming and continued talking before Magnus had the chance. "You said you didn't and you dumped me and you wouldn't have done that if you fucking did." Alec stood up, ignoring how numb his legs felt.

"Alec please. Let me just explain. I had to. You needed to-"

"No. You do not get an explanation Magnus." He placed a hand on the other boy's arm and lifted him up to be standing. "You will leave. If my siblings are here, you will ask them in, and if they're not you will ask the nurses to call them." He took a deep breath.

"Alec I…"

Alec, just leave. I don't want you here anymore.

"Magnus, just leave. I don't want you here anymore."

Magnus hung his head low and walked towards the doorway, stopping when Alec called him once.

Alec tried hard to keep the tears from his eyes and his voice as he spoke next. "You said once that you didn't know what you'd do if I left you. Did you ever think that maybe I felt the same?"

Magnus turned to face him, his own eyes shimmering. A part of Alec wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and kiss away his tears. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop loving the boy he was looking at. But he wasn't doing anything about it. He couldn't, not after this.

"Alec, I'll wait you know. Even if we never get back together, I'll wait until you forgive me."

"Don't hold your breath Magnus."

And with that, Alec walked to the door, shutting it behind the other boy, before leaning dejectedly on the wood, tears spilling silently from his eyes.

He didn't know that on the other side of the door, another boy was doing the exact same thing.

There. It's done. I literally yelled that when I finished, because this took so god damn long to write.

Please review. I know it sucks, so please reinforce my opinion.

Lots of Love,

Mae