Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist
Title: After School Special
Pairing: RoyxEd, AlxMartel, mentions of past JeanxRoy and MaesxRoy, one-sided RusselxEd and AlfonsxEd, and so on
Rating: PG13
Timeline: Present AU
Summary: Principal Roy Mustang finds himself strangely drawn to the school's newest student, a quiet social outcast with a metal arm and leg...
AN: I think the chapter title covers it.
After School Special
Chapter 33
"Fallout, Part 1"
Ed wondered if it was possible to die from vomiting.
He had a feeling he would find out before the night ended.
The teen raised a near violently shaking hand to the toilet handle and pulled it, turning away from the unspeakable horror that had come out of his body which reeked of cinnamon and pepperoni and cheese. He laid his head against the toilet seat, his body gleaning what miniscule amount of comfort it could find from its coolness and presently not caring in the least that it was a resting place intended for the opposite end of the human body.
After being discovered by Al and Russ- Russ, of all people!- Ed had bolted off the sofa, which he would later realize only made him look all the guiltier. He opened his mouth to try and explain the precarious situation in which his brother and friend had found him only to throw up. Everywhere. Ed then vaguely recalled being hauled off rather roughly to the bathroom and practically thrown at the toilet, and in his nauseated haze, he realized that his stomach's unceremonious expulsion of its contents was very likely the only thing that had saved Alfons from a certain ass-kicking.
As well as himself, perhaps.
"Here, drink this," Al said from behind him, prodding him in the arm with a small glass of water. His voice was distant and so unlike his usual sweet self that all Ed could do was squeeze his eyes shut in shame as he took the drink from his brother. He had never been so mortified in his life; not only had he gotten recklessly shitfaced, not only had he let someone other than Roy kiss him, but he liked it. His body did, at least, even if just for a split second. How could he face Al after that? He could hardly stand himself. And if he couldn't even own up to what he had done right now then how on earth was he supposed to face Roy the next time he saw him?
And prior to that, what the hell was he supposed to say to him the next time they spoke over the phone?
A croak was all he could manage. "Al…"
"Not a good idea right now, Ed," the young teen said with quiet warning. "Just drink your water and go to bed."
Ed moaned painfully as a fresh wave of self-disgust washed over him, which, for the time being, overrode his churning stomach. He wanted to cry. He wanted to throw up. Again. At that moment, Ed wasn't even entirely averse to dying.
He had cheated.
He had cheated on Roy.
He had cheated on Roy and gotten caught red-handed by his little brother.
Given all of the above, it was only natural to wonder what could possibly go wrong next.
Problem was, he was soon going to find out.
*****
Russ gritted his teeth as he continued scrubbing at the floor. There was no way on earth he would ever offer to do this for anyone other than Al; hell, the last time his own brother had gotten sick, Russ refused to go near him, so strong was his general distaste of vomit and all things sickly. But for Al, it was a given.
That aside, there was no way in hell he would have left and missed such a priceless scene!
He was somewhat pissed off, though, and- in his mind- rightfully so. If he had known that all he had to do was get Ed blind stinking drunk to make out with him… or more… he would have done it himself ages ago, and it would have been well worth the price of Al's wrath, which seemed more directed at Ed than anyone else, anyway.
The sound of an opening door broke through Russ' reverie and he looked up in time to see Al leaving the bathroom. All at once he felt like a bit of a prick for his selfish ruminating; Al looked so damn dejected that Russ was starting to feel angry at Ed himself for being the cause. It was never an easy thing to have a front row seat when one's idol made such a spectacular fall from their pedestal.
"How is he?" Russ asked, not that he cared all that much. It wasn't like Ed was going to die.
"He'll be fine." Al came over to him and plopped down on the couch. "Where's the other one?"
Russ tried not to chuckle at Al's description of Alfons. "I put him in your room. He tried to leave but I took his keys," he said, patting his pocket. "I think he thinks you're gearing up to kick his ass or something." Russ neglected to mention that this was something that he himself was greatly anticipating.
"I don't even care right now," Al said with a sigh and a shake of the head. "I don't want to think about it anymore."
"Fair enough." Russ offered his friend an as yet unused rag and a lopsided smile. "Then get your ass down here and help me."
*****
Hangover. It was entirely too subtle of a word to fully describe the all-encompassing state of woe that was Edward Elric the morning after his trip to lovely land of Goldschläger. The resounding thrum of pain in his head, the rolling churn of his gut, and, still worse, the unbearable ache of guilt in his heart combined for a physical experience like nothing he had ever known before, and he would have gladly spent the entire day in bed to combat it if not for Al's insistence on being as loud as humanly possible in every single room of the house, except for Ed's.
The teen tumbled out of bed in a heap, cradling his head as he hit the floor. His automail felt so cool against his brow, he never thought he'd be so glad to have it. When standing felt like an option, Ed pulled himself upright and braced himself against his bed on wobbly legs, the room around him cruelly swaying back and forth. Miraculously, he managed his way into the bathroom, where he tried desperately not to think about the night before while he made use of the facilities in a more conventional fashion. When he was finished, he stumbled through the living room and into the kitchen, where Al was putting the finishing touches on what appeared to be a rather decent looking breakfast… all thanks due to the convenience of microwave meals.
"Sit," Al instructed, retrieving a carton of orange juice from the refrigerator.
Ed obediently took a seat at the table while Al served him. While he wasn't banking on being able to keep anything down that day, everything looked so good that he was willing to try.
But first…
Gathering up his courage, Ed closed his eyes and opened his mouth.
"Look, Al-"
"Take these."
Ed opened his eyes and found an outstretched hand holding two painkillers. He took them and washed them down with a sip of juice, wincing at the jolt rendered by the burst of citrus making its way down to his empty stomach. He blinked away the stinging in his eyes as he set down the glass, then picked up a slice of bacon microwaved to perfection and said a silent prayer that it would stay put once he ate it.
Al sat down across from him, and the brothers embarked on their silent breakfast. Ed glanced at Al, broken up all the more when he saw him picking at his food. He couldn't bear this monosyllabic, non-eating Al any longer; he wanted his Al, smiling and laughing and talking non-stop about Martel and gorging himself like there was no tomorrow.
"Al, please-"
"Alfons left about an hour ago. Russ left with him to get a ride home." Al favored Ed with an accusing stare. "I didn't do anything to him, if that's what you're worried about."
While Ed couldn't exactly swear that he hadn't worried about that at all, especially since Al had proven his shockingly violent streak more than once in the past, it was far from the most important thing on his mind at the moment.
"No, it's not that. It's just…"
"Just what?"
Ed frowned and tapped a metal finger against the edge of his plate. "… Do you hate me now?"
"Dumbass."
This was obviously not the answer that Ed was expecting.
"Of course I don't hate you, you idiot… you're my brother."
Al scowled and shoved half a biscuit into his mouth, much to Ed's relief and ever so slightly lightening the weight on his shoulders. That was more like it.
"You know," Al began, rinsing down the biscuit with a sip of OJ. "All this time, I wondered what I would do if Roy ever hurt you. I just never thought..."
"That it would be the other way around," Ed finished.
"Do you still love him?"
The question, while perfectly understandable given the situation, still sounded ludicrous in Ed's ears.
"Yes."
Al nodded. "Good."
The boys continued eating in silence, the meal before them vanishing quickly as they each rediscovered a semblance of their seemingly endless appetite. While Ed wasn't displaying his usual voracity, he was certainly doing his part to keep up with Al. When they were finished, they worked together to clear the table, after which Ed planned to crawl back under the covers for as long as he could get away with it. Not that he could possibly sleep again; his current worries left him unable to escape into slumber, thereby leaving him with little else to do besides wallow in his physical pain and overwhelming sense of impending doom.
"What would you do, Al?" he asked suddenly, pausing as they loaded the last of the dishes into the dishwasher.
"Hm?"
"If Martel told you that she got drunk and made out with someone. What would you do?"
Ed could almost see the wheels spinning as Al tried to come up with an answer that would console him, and he loved him for it. But, regrettably, he already had a damn good idea of what his brother would really do… and God help any poor bastard with the unfortunate distinction of coming between Al and Martel.
"Forget it. It doesn't matter," he said. He ran his left hand through his loose blond hair, working out some of the morning tangle. "I'm going back to bed for a little while."
"Go for it." Al offered him a reluctant smile. That helped.
A lot.
*****
Listening to one of an endless stream of boring sitcoms playing in the background, Izumi realized that laughter had never been a common occurrence in her own life. Such a loud, open display of something depicting amusement and, ultimately, happiness- how completely useless. No, indeed, nothing like that for her. Looking back, had she ever even indulged in such a thing? If she had, it was too far back to remember.
And she was too far gone to care.
Everything was in order now; Lou had helped her to see to that- the way the man managed to pull strings was impressive… and somewhat scary. He had given her so much that she could never return, even if she had lived to try, namely offering her a small hint of beauty in a life that had been so marred by ugliness and abuse. The time would soon come when she would be sending him away for good, but for now, for just a little while longer, she wanted him by her side. Selfish? Absolutely. But it was a harmless sin, one that sat weightlessly on her otherwise darkened conscience. And that was okay with her.
She ran a frail hand along her stomach, trying to imagine what it would have looked like with a feeding tube extending from it, as Lou had suggested when it became clear that even a liquid diet would no longer suffice. She bore him no ill will for the thought- for he was selfish too, you see- but no. No, no, no. Even if not precisely on her own terms, Izumi was going to leave this world here, in her own bed, with nothing poking or protruding from her. Period.
But first, there was one last thing she needed to do.
"Izumi?" Lou, who was never more than a room away anymore, if even that, poked his head into the bedroom. "Do you need anything?"
Although she was still capable of speaking, Izumi decided to save her breath for her words of farewell, and so instead, she merely nodded. She raised her left hand, palm side up, and with her right, made a series of scribbling motions.
"Pen and paper? Right away, milady."
She closed her eyes and smiled through a rather annoying sting of tears as the gentle blond giant ran off to do her bidding. Oh, how she would miss that man.
No sooner had he left did he return, with a legal pad attached to a clipboard and a couple of blue ink pens. Izumi didn't remember having any of that in the house save for the pens, quite frankly, but with Lou? A girl could very well learn to believe in magic.
"Anything else?" he asked.
Izumi shook her head and playfully shoed him away… completely caught off guard when Lou gently took her shoeing hand into his own and held it briefly before letting her go. He then favored her with a warm smile before leaving the room.
She could still feel the heat of him against her skin. If only she could take it with her…
Pushing away the sentiment, Izumi picked up the pen and poised it over the paper. She frowned briefly at her own hesitation, but it wasn't for lack of words. As a matter of fact, she had thought of little else as her time dwindled away; she knew exactly what she had to say.
But she also realized that in doing what she was about to do, it really was over and done. Even though she had seen it coming all this time, she was still momentarily taken aback by the stark finality of it all.
Her life, her existence, was finished.
And with that singular thought in mind, neither frightening nor peaceful, she proceeded to write, carefully scribing each word as she had planned. When she was finished, she neatly folded the pages with jittering fingers and held it as if it was a rare and precious thing. And it was, after all, as it held testament to the one sparse shred of humanity she had managed to salvage before the end.
She could only hope he would see it in the same light.
Izumi nodded and smiled sadly.
Her work was now done.
*****
"So, be straight with me."
Interesting choice of words, Russ thought as he raised a curious brow and stared across the restaurant table at a disheveled Alfons Heiderich.
He had offered the hungover teen breakfast as a gesture of kindness for giving him a ride home, but of course, in truth, Russ was also seeking any info he could get on what had happened with Ed. Standard story so far, two friends getting together, getting drunk, and so on. Once again, Russ could have kicked his own ass for failing to indulge in such a common teenage pastime with Ed. The opportunity was right there in his face the whole time!
"About what?" he asked, salting his eggs and grinning to himself as Alfons looked at the sunny side ups and made a rather amusing sound of disgust.
Alfons cleared his throat and stared down at his pancakes. "Is Al going to try and kick my ass or something?"
"Any other time, I would have said yes." Russ pierced the perfect yellow circle and smeared yolk over the egg whites. "Speaking from experience," he added wryly.
"So I've heard."
"But I think he's probably more pissed at Ed than you," Russ theorized. "It wasn't like he was trying to stop you or anything, and I think that makes all the difference."
Alfons ate a small bite of the pancakes, sans syrup; his stomach would not allow such extravagance today. "Al really seems to like that Roy guy."
Russ snorted bitterly. "Yeah."
"You don't?"
"He's alright. For an old man," Russ conceded, surprising even himself. "It's not that I don't like him, it's just that…"
"You like Ed?"
Silence loomed over the table. Russ gnawed thoughtfully on a slice of toast and contemplated Alfons' question. Well, not that there was much to contemplate:
"Yeah, I do."
"Kinda hard not to," Alfons agreed. "Even though he can't even see why anyone would. Silly."
"I know, right?"
Russ closed his mouth with a snap and a frown. No, he was most certainly not sitting there and having a moment of fellowship with this guy over their mutual adoration of Ed. Hell no. Fuck that.
But yet, when Alfons smiled at him, all big blue-eyed and… ugh… cute… damn it all if his lip didn't twitch to return it.
This guy was going to be quite the adversary, yes, indeed.
*****
As suspected, Ed hadn't been able to go back to sleep at all that day for his mind being overrun with thoughts of how he would tell Roy what had happened. And now as evening fell, he sat on the edge of his bed with his phone in his hand and his heart pounding. He would be lying if he said that the thought of not telling Roy at all had never crossed his mind. But that was something he could never do. Just… never. Ed supposed that he should take some minute measure of comfort in the fact that he wasn't a liar, but it wasn't working. And he couldn't wait, as much as he wished he could. Ed feared he would never be able to function again until he did this- no eating, no sleeping, nothing.
He had to do this now. For both their sakes.
"Please, God…" the teen whispered as he dialed Roy's number, bitterly humored by resorting to calling on a Deity in Whom he hardly believed. Ed nervously swept back a lock of blond hair and pressed the phone to his ear, squeezing his eyes shut as he heard the sound of ringing and hating himself for hoping that Roy wasn't home-
"Hey there."
"H-Hey." For the first time, Ed found very little comfort in the smooth sound of his lover's voice, and that made him even sadder, something he didn't think possible. "Is it a bad time?"
Roy's soft grin filled his head and even the sound of that, so low and melodic and just plain fucking gorgeous, hurt.
"Not at all. Uh… I do have some company right now- I'll get that when I'm done, Leesee- but no, never a bad time if it's you. You should know that."
Ed's eyes flew open. "Oh, shit, you have your daughter. I'll let you go-"
"Ed, it's fine."
"No, it's not."
No way, there was absolutely no way that Ed was about to ruin such a rare and certainly happy moment for Roy. "Just call me later, it's not a big-" Ed closed his mouth around the unintentional lie. "Look, call me later, okay?"
"… What's wrong, Ed?"
Of course he would know something was amiss.
"Just call me later, Roy. Please?"
"No, and if you hang up, I'll call you right back. Hold on- Elysia, I'm going into the kitchen to talk, okay?"
Ed was half tempted to end the call in spite of Roy's protests. Instead, he pulled his feet up into his bed and curled into a ball as he listened to the sounds of Roy's footsteps and waited.
Please God…
"Okay, so what's going on?"
The teen took a deep breath and clutched the phone tightly. How the hell was he supposed to begin a conversation that in no conceivable way, shape, or form was going to end anything other than very, very badly?
"Ed? I'm starting to worry a little bit here. Did something happen to Al?"
"No… not to Al."
"To you?"
Ed's heart broke over the sound of the concern in Roy's voice. This was a nightmare, pure and simple.
"Well… yeah. See… and just hear me out, okay?"
"… Okay."
"Thing of it is… last night… Alfons and I got… kinda drunk… and then…"
*****
Al felt that he had waited long enough. While he hadn't been explicitly eavesdropping, he felt it only necessary to be at least somewhat mindful of what was happening.
And it hadn't sounded good. Not at all.
Without bothering to knock, he opened the bedroom door and looked at his brother's face, and any residual anger he had over Ed's unfathomable stupidity vanished instantly.
Al walked over to the bed and sat down beside him. "What'd he say?"
Ed turned to Al with a look that made the younger teen want to cry.
"He said he had to go. And he did."
"He just hung up?"
"Yeah." Ed nodded slowly. "He just… hung up."
"Oh, Ed…"
Al crawled into the bed and hunkered down beside him, resting his head against a cool automail shoulder. As much as he wanted to find some iota of fault with Roy, he simply couldn't. Earlier that day, Ed had asked him what he would have done in a similar situation and thankfully, he had gotten away without giving an answer, because he had no idea what he would have said. If Martel had ever broken his trust like that, Al honestly wasn't sure if he could have forgiven such a thing. Ever.
Not exactly something Ed needed to hear, then or now.
"I'm so sorry," he said instead.
"What the hell am I gonna do if I lose him?"
Al scooted closer to Ed and sighed softly.
He didn't have an answer to that question, either.
TBC
AN: Thank you for your continued support. Sometimes, when I am tempted to retreat to my little LiveJournal shell due to the occasional bitter experience, I remember that most of the people whom I've had the pleasure of interacting with here at ffnet have been nothing short of awesome, and for that, I am more grateful than you can imagine.
Next up, Roy's POV in Part 2. See you then.