Hi all. sorry for the last chapter. The scene was so clear in my head, but it came out as crap, maybe I will re-write it someday. Sorry for the long time between posts, this story is not forgotten, but other than possibly one or two more chapters in the next week or so it will likely remain on hiatus until summer.

This chapter is intentionally a bit choppy, as conversations sometimes are, and I know the tense is a bit odd, but it didn't seem right to fix it.

I hope you enjoy, feedback is greatly appreciated (and I promise to reply to reviews this time), so please please share your thoughts.

Booth had stepped outside to clear his head, and Parker followed him. He had wanted to talk to his dad this morning, but that seemed like a lifetime ago. His dad knew him though, whatever else was going on.

"I'm not crazy, Parker."

"you sure dad? Because you keep talking like…"

Parker gestures, unsure what he wants to say. He's not sure if he means it as a joke.

Booth looks at Parker, really looks at him for a moment. The teen looks withdrawn, maybe even angry.

Booth shakes his head.

"I'm not crazy" he says it quietly, but with certainty. "They all want to talk about it. To talk about her." It is a statement of fact.

"Yeah. And I want to hear about her. What's so wrong with that?

"They are ready to move on, Parker. They want to put it to rest and move on, like a wake. I can't do that." He shakes his head slightly. "I can't let it go."

"That doesn't make sense, dad. It's not like you forget stories by telling them. I read about wakes, the whole point is to feel close to the dead person by hearing other people's stories about them. It seems sort of right to me. It's irrational that you won't talk about her, if she was so important to you. Y'know, you not talking about her made me think for a long time that you didn't think about her. And I wondered sometimes but I never asked because I couldn't think of a logical reason for me to know.

He realized he was rambling about the same time he saw the odd look his dad was giving him.

Booth is torn between bemused wonder and old heavy grief at hearing that sort of talk from Parker. There's an impulse to mutter to her under his breath – Damn, how is it that my son talks like you sometimes? - but he knows that's not something Parker needs to hear any more of. He knows that he has been giving in to that sort of impulse all evening, speaking under his breath as if to her, his way of trying to keep her close when the others are pushing her away.

It has merit, the idea of feeling close to someone by telling their story. That was what they did, after all.

He almost gets lost in that thought, thinking of how when they sat together over a case it was like between them they could invoke the presence of the victims. But he had spent enough time dwelling on that lost magic. Now he needed to make his son understand.

"I never talked about this stuff. Bones and I, we were close, but we rarely talked about it. And we never talked about it to anyone else. Not ever. It was something between us, and no one needed to know."

"so…" The boy wasn't sure what his dad was talking about. "So you were secret lovers?"

"What? No." But then he laughed quietly at himself. "Well…" He sighs and pauses, looking his son in the eyes to show that he is not drifting again, just trying to find words to explain.

"We worked together, closely. Off and on for a couple years, then all the time for about four years. We weren't… We were partners, we didn't… I mean, right at the end, but… Hell for the first few years we weren't even friends." Booth's gaze has wandered again, starting to get that distant look.

"soo… That means what, exactly?" Parker was irritated now, needing reassurance he wasn't sure he would get. "You didn't love her?" The talk inside had been more about travel plans, not relationships, about some documents his dad got that showed Dr. Bones was working for the state department and was not in India. Documents that said someone who might have been her was in witness protection but was killed along with a man in a car accident on a state route in Wisconsin on December third 2009. The name of the man and which state route they were on when they were hit by a semi were blacked out, along with whole paragraphs. As far as Parker could tell, the only reason this might be bones was that someone had apparently smuggled a copy to his dad.

"No." This Booth says with certainty, pulling Parker's attention back. He takes a deep breath, runs his hand through his hair and holds his hand out in a 'give me a moment' gesture. He runs his hand over his face one more time, takes another breath, and when he looks back at his son he looks clearer, calmer somehow.

"I love her. Never doubt that, but we were not having some secret affair. You remember I had surgery that spring?"

Parker nods.

"Well it was after that that things changed between me and Bones. It wasn't a secret, exactly, but some things are private, Parker, and we needed to figure things out between us. I can't say what we were to each other besides partners because we hadn't decided that yet." As he speaks Booth forces himself to stay focused on his son.

It has not quite occurred to Parker that Dr. Bones could have been reluctant to date his dad. In his mind she was attached to him.

His ideas about adult relationships mostly came from his mom, who had always been open with him about men she dated, and about his step-dad. Even though his dad was less forthcoming than his mom, it hadn't been a secret when he was dating the mother of one of his classmates last year, or that woman from work awhile before that. He couldn't really see why dating Dr. Bones would be different if it wasn't a secret affair.

At least his dad was talking to him now, Parker's thoughts settled some. Maybe this was okay, maybe this was the way to hear the rest of the story. Maybe his dad was holding back talking about some sex thing, that was what grownups meant when they talked about dating usually. Well his dad could tell him now, after all he was 15, not a kid, he knew what sex was.

"Did you have sex with her?"

Booth opens his mouth to answer, but then huffs, somehow switching to 'dad' just in time. "Parker, you're a little young to be asking about …" he gestures again.

Parker draws himself up, teenage pride affronted. "I'm fifteen, dad, I have hair under my arms and everything. I know plenty more than you think." So maybe making out with Tina under the bleachers a few weeks ago wasn't quite sex, but it was close enough, right?

"Parker, sex is a big deal." Booth is completely sidetracked, pulled back again to the present by his need to act as a father. He grabs for a likely name. "Have things with Tina gone that far?"

Parker is affronted that his father knows the name of the girl he was thinking about. On some level it does comfort him that he pays attention, but it is not enough.

"You first dad. I won't tell you unless you tell me." It is a challenge.

In the last week of delving into good memories Booth has been reminded of Bones' unshakable and often uncomfortable honesty. Of how she disapproved of the white lies parents tell their children. Maybe part of being a parent was telling Parker about private things so he could learn. Bones would probably have something to say about that, about anthropological reasons for showing children cultural norms or some shit. He chuckles softly.

" You know Bones would see nothing wrong with telling you. It's funny that after all this time I still think of her reaction to everything. It's like I want to see her so much, to talk to her again, that I try to guess at what she would say in any situation." Booth is still looking at his son, but misses the growing tension in his features.

"But the thing is that no matter how well I knew her she could still surprise me." He smiles a little, does not see the growing anger that Parker is trying to keep off his face.

"We did have sex, make love, three times. It started just before she left on the first trip. I told her when she was back between the trips that I wanted to be with her, but she didn't give me an answer. There was so much going on when she came back, we didn't talk. Then she was gone."

Parker is silent for a minute, he has heard everything his father said, but registers only that his father will tell him only what he thinks Dr. Bones would want him to know. Parker believes he has his answer, the only answer that matters. His father still cares more for a dead woman's preferences than for him.

"So that's it, huh? You can tell me because you think it would be okay with her? " Booth finally picks up on the anger in Parker's tone. He is nearly yelling now, though not in a way that his voice would carry.

"What about what is okay with me? Did it matter that I wanted to know, did it matter that maybe you're a grown up and can have sex with whoever you want? Maybe I didn't have sex with Tina, but I didn't call her back all last week because I was busy, so maybe I never will?!!"

In some sense Parker is aware that he is not making sense, but he cannot quite bring himself to accuse his dad of not loving him. He is angry and finds whatever words he can. Having nothing else, and not wanting to try to untangle whatever it was he had just said, Parker sputters briefly, then turns away from his speechless father with a disdainful snort that even through his hormonal outburst he can find no justification for.

And again Booth blinks in surprise, with no idea what had just happened. Parker walks away before he can follow the change in the boy's train of thought. Booth can't stop the words that come out under his breath.

"Dammit, Bones, that's what I get for listening to you."

Til next time, review requested and apriciated as always.