Sorry for this chapter's lateness, but that's because Thursday was my birthday and my party took up most of yesterday. I'm 20 years old now, YES!!!
Oh and I forgot to mention these last chapter: Big A1 gave me the "Paul dressing as a baby" idea, while Neo H.B.B Sam gave me the hockey idea. Credit goes to them.
Night falls again, and Ed & Eddy can be heard hanging out in Ed's room. While they hang out, Sarah is taking a shower, though the screen only goes down to her shoulders. As she scrubs her neck, the bathroom door is heard being swung open.
"Huh?..." Sarah hears the door being opened, but since it's muffled by the shower, she shrugs it off and continues showering. But moments later, while washing her hair, Sarah hears the toilet being flushed!
"HEY, WHO FLUSHED- OW, OWWW!! OH GOD, IT'S HOT!! HOT HOT HOT!!!" Sarah screams as the shower is heated drastically from the toilet flush! The extremely hot shower forces Sarah to leap out and onto the floor, landing belly-down with her butt cut off by the screen. Her skin has been seared bright pink by the burning shower! Even though the person who flushed the toilet already left, Sarah is so angered that her teeth sharpen, but before her eyes start turning yellow, she reaches off-screen for the tortoiseshell conch Kyle gave her earlier. She puts it into her ear to calm herself as she reaches for a towel.
Down in Ed's room, Eddy returns and tells Ed "Ok, now that I crapped mom's meatloaf outta my system, let's get to business!"
Later, Sarah is buttoning up her pajama shirt in her room. Sarah's room now has pictures of Jimmy, Kyle, and a few other unnamed boys from school. The conch is next to her pillow on her canopy bed, and she hops into bed and turns off her sea anemone-shaped lamp to sleep.
But before long, Sarah hears Ed and Eddy from Ed's room. They are playing a fighting game on Ed's gaming system, and it's turned up very loud!
"HAHAHAHA!" Ed laughs. "I GOT YA, EDDY!"
"I DON'T THINK SO!" Eddy replies, then uses one of his character's attacks: "FINGER BEAM BLITZ!"
Numerous explosions are heard as Eddy's character uses said attack.
"YOU MISSED!" Ed shouts and uses one of his character's attacks: "DIVINE LIGHTNING!"
Ed's character's attack makes a loud KABOOOOM that agitates Sarah. Her eyes twitch as Ed and Eddy continue their battle.
"WHAT THE HELL?! HOW'D YA DO THAT?!" Eddy asks, then "NOOO!"
"I WIN!" Ed shouts victoriously, followed by Eddy's "BULLSHIT! I WANT A REMATCH!"
"Errrrrrrr..." Sarah turns red, but she remembers the conch, and she puts it into her ear to calm herself.
But one of her eyes still bugs out when her mom Angela yells "EDWIN, TURN OFF THE DAMN GAME RIGHT NOW BEFORE I GO DOWN THERE AND BREAK IT!!"
The next morning, Sarah is washing dishes. Once she finishes, she opens the freezer for lunch, only to have Ed's latest freezer experiment- a giant meatball with sausages, fish parts, and octopus tentacles sticking out of it- slide out and squish her under its weight. The meatball's weight also shakes the dish rack, knocking off all the dishes and they break upon hitting the floor. Ed rushes in after hearing this.
"AAH!" Ed shrieks upon seeing the shattered dishes, then he sees the reddening Sarah squeeze out from under his freezer experiment. Realizing that's what caused the dishes to fall, Ed sheepishly grins: "Ehehe! Sorry Sarah, I forgot to tell ya about my new freezer experiment!"
"RRRAAAHHH!!!" Sarah, now sharp-toothed and yellow-eyed, picks up Ed's meatball and jumps up to slam it onto him! But as she prepares for the slam in mid-air, Ed quickly pulls the conch out of Sarah's pocket and puts it into her ear to soothe her. Sarah calms down, drops Ed's meatball which splatters on the floor, then she drops back to the floor on her feet while holding the conch.
"Yep, Double-D told me about the conch!" Ed says.
"What happened here?" father Stan asks as he and Angela come in, and they gasp upon seeing the broken dishes and Ed's splattered meatball. Stan asks "Who's responsible for this."
Sarah points at Ed, and Angela tells him "You're not goin anywhere until this place is SQUEAKY clean."
Sarah joins Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe outside.
"Sarah, are you ok?" Jimmy asks. "You look stressed."
"No, I'm fine!" Sarah replies with a slight facial tic, which Kyle notices and he asks "Is the conch workin?"
"Like a charm!" Sarah answers.
"Wicked!" Zoe exclaims. "Now follow me, guys! This big yellow ball with an X-mark just popped up in the middle of our cul-de-sac, and we're gonna go nuts with it!"
As they go to the second cul-de-sac, the four kids pass a tall cardboard platform near Jonny's and Nazz's houses. Eddy is standing on top with a big green yoga ball. He takes out his cellphone and calls Double-D:
"Is the cam rollin, Double-D?" Eddy asks.
"Eddy, I'm having doubts that this little 'stunt' of yours will succeed." Double-D says, standing on the roof of the playground's treehouse with a camcorder.
"Didn't you measure last year that the distance between the centers of the cul-de-sacs is precisely 167 feet?" Eddy asks. "I'm pretty damn sure I can cover that distance by bouncin off my brother's yoga ball here. Is the other one in place?"
Double-D checks the other yoga ball -the one Zoe mentioned a few moments ago- sitting in the middle of the second cul-de-sac, its red X-mark acting as a landing target. Double-D tells Eddy "Your brother's second ball awaits your safe landing on it, IF you land on it, that is."
"Ok, I'm gettin ready to jump." Eddy tells Double-D before ending the call. Double-D sighs, but then grins.
"Then again, the others and I will certainly enjoy seeing Eddy get what's coming to him should he miss!" Double-D resolves while Eddy puts on safety gloves and a crash helmet.
"Time to put Dave England to shame!" Eddy exclaims as he grabs the green yoga ball. Meanwhile, Zoe shows Sarah, Jimmy and Kyle the yellow yoga ball in the middle of the second cul-de-sac.
"There it is!" Zoe points at the ball, and charges at it: "YAAAH!"
Zoe rams into the ball, sending it bouncing off the front of Kyle's house and back towards her. She jumps out of the way, and the ball hits Jimmy, knocking him back some ten feet. Jimmy screams "OWIE!"
"Don't whine, Jimmy! That didn't hurt!" Sarah tells Jimmy, then Zoe tells Kyle "Kyle, let's see how long you can run on it without fallin off!"
From the treehouse's roof, Double-D spots the kids playing with the yellow yoga ball, alarming him! He quickly takes out his cellphone to call Eddy: "EDDY, DON'T JUMP YET!"
But Double-D's call is too late, as Eddy already jumped off the platform with the green yoga ball. He hits the ground with it, and he bounces off of it high into the air!
"YEEEHHHAAAWWW!!!" Eddy does an aerial pose at the peak of his bounce, then he falls towards the second cul-de-sac, seeing the kids playing with the yellow yoga ball in the process: "OH SHIT!!"
"Huh?" Sarah looks up, sees Eddy plummeting towards her, and he CRASHES into her, sending them both into the cul-de-sac concrete with only their legs sticking out!! Double-D freaks out, and he quickly starts descending towards the ground. Sarah pulls herself up from the concrete, red-faced and sharp-toothed!
"SARAH, THE CONCH!!" Kyle reminds Sarah, who pulls the conch out of her pocket. But the conch is cracked from Eddy's impact and it breaks apart, angering Sarah even more and her eyes turn yellow and veiny! She turns towards Eddy and pulls out of the concrete with one hand, and glares at him as her ears steam!
"YOU'RE DEAD!!!" Sarah screams, and Jimmy covers his eyes as Sarah starts brutalizing Eddy. Kyle flinches from the horrid beating and a piece of Eddy's helmet lands near him, Zoe doesn't know what to do, and Eddy screaming "HELP MEEE!!" forces Jimmy to cover his ears and close his eyes! Eddy is now horribly bruised, has a fat lip with missing teeth, an enormously swollen blackeye, a broken leg with a lost shoe, and the only clothing he still has are his tanktop- which is torn like a toga- and his boxers! Sarah throws Eddy towards the arriving Double-D.
"EDDY!" Double-D screams as Eddy lands on him and knocks him back. Sarah blows steam from her nose like a bull and charges at them!
"SARAH, STOP!!" Kyle yells desperately as he, Jimmy and Zoe race after Sarah. Eddy hides behind Double-D, and Sarah tackles Double-D in her blind rage. She throws his hat off, revealing his scar again, then Zoe and Kyle grab Sarah. While Double-D retrieves his hat, Sarah throws off Kyle and Zoe, then sees Eddy limping away on his good leg. She charges at him!
"HAVE MERCY!!" Eddy begs, covering his face with arms. Just as Sarah is about to land another punch on him, she suddenly freezes...
"... YEEEEAAAAGGGHHH!!!" Sarah screams and holds her head in pain. "AAAGH!!"
While holding her head, Sarah staggers back-&-forth as she goes in-&-out of her angry state, indicated by her skin's reddening and fading.
"What's going on?" Double-D asks as he puts his hat back on.
"Jimmy, no!" Zoe holds her arm out to stop Jimmy from approaching Sarah, who SCREAMS in pain and blindly swings her fists around, unintentionally knocking out Eddy in the process! Then Sarah drops to her knees, sweating.
"SARAH!" Jimmy rushes through Zoe and up to the trembling Sarah.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!!" Sarah smacks Jimmy's arm away, then she gets up and runs off.
"SARAH, WAIT!" Double-D calls out while carrying Eddy and chasing Sarah to her house with Zoe, Kyle and Jimmy. But Sarah locks her front door to keep them out.
"SARAH, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR!!" Jimmy begs, and Kyle adds "WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS! WE'RE HERE TO HELP YOU!!"
Sarah ignores her friends pleas, still holding her head as she goes upstairs. She mutters to herself "I'm too dangerous. I can't be with anyone anymore."
Sarah opens her bedroom door, then her head hurts again: "AGH!!" she drops and hold her head in pain. Once she recovers, she sees that her entire room has been devastated!! Her books, posters and diary are on the floor, her bed is flipped over, her mirror and window are busted, and everything else is either cracked or broken!
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Sarah asks in shock at the destruction of her room, and she starts to anger again. As she turns red, she tries a breathing excercise. It fails and ends with Sarah screaming again. She blindly punches her dresser, sending it flying out through her wall. Sarah sweats more, and she leaves her room.
Holding her head due to her severe headache, Sarah goes down the hallway and into the bathroom. She washes her face, dries it off, then she opens the mirror cabinet to take two Ibuprofen pills. She eats the pills, closes the mirror...
... and sees her enraged reflection in the mirror!!
"AAAHH!!" Sarah jumps back and falls, then she gets back up and looks into the mirror again. Her reflection is normal again, so she sighs in relief and turns to leave.
But then Sarah GASPS in shock, because an angry clone of herself is blocking the door!! The clone has all of her raging features: red skin, sharp teeth, steaming ears, and veiny yellow eyes.
"RRRAAAAAHHHH!!!" the angry Sarah tackles the good Sarah to the floor. Sarah retaliates by kicking her enraged self over and into the mirror cabinet, destroying it. The angry Sarah jumps off the sink and onto the good Sarah's back to pull on her hair. The good Sarah screams as they struggle towards the bathtub, where they get entangled in the shower curtain. The angry Sarah frees herself first, and she wraps up the good Sarah in the shower curtain. She takes the good Sarah to the toilet, but the good Sarah frees herself, and she bashes the toilet's lid on the angry Sarah's head repeatedly. The angry Sarah reverses the situation and shoves the good Sarah's face into the toilet in an attempt to drown her, but the good Sarah flushes the toilet and punches the angry Sarah into the wall. The good Sarah then coughs up toilet water, allowing the angry Sarah to rip one of the towel bars off the wall and she whacks the good Sarah with it. On the fourth whack, the good Sarah is knocked through the bathroom door and into the opposite wall, but the good Sarah swiftly moves her head to the side to dodge another whack that cracks the wall. The good Sarah then knocks the towel bar out of the angry Sarah's hands, but the angry Sarah grabs her arm in the process and bites it.
"YEOW!!" the good Sarah screams, and she is heard by Ed downstairs. Ed is throwing away the final pieces of broken dishes when he hears the two Sarahs fighting in the hallway upstairs, then they come barreling downstairs on one another. Their fight sends the living room's TV flying into the kitchen, and it smashes apart upon hitting the floor.
"SARAH!!" Ed runs into the living room and grabs the good Sarah from behind, while the angry Sarah seems to have disappeared.
"ED, LET ME GO!!" Sarah yells and struggles against Ed, who holds Sarah by her ankle. From her upside-down position, Sarah sees the angry Sarah reappear behind Ed! "THERE SHE IS!! ED!!"
The angry Sarah grabs and pulls Ed's ankles to trip him forwards, flattening the good Sarah under him. Outside, Double-D, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe hear Ed's struggling, then the angry Sarah rams Ed out through the living room wall before continuing her assault against the good Sarah.
"ED!" Kyle shouts in alarm as he, Zoe, Jimmy and Double-D rush over to Ed.
"Ed, are you alright?" Double-D asks, but he and Ed quickly dodge the armchair, which was thrown by one of the Sarahs, and it busts a hole through the wall of Jimmy's house. The Sarahs' fight goes out through the front door and into the cul-de-sac, a sight witnessed by Nazz.
"WHOA!!" Nazz jumps up on a pole to avoid the Sarahs, but the angry Sarah pulls out the pole to use as a weapon. She throws it at the good Sarah, and the good Sarah and Nazz briefly lock eyes as the good Sarah does a slow-motion split to avoid the pole. Nazz quickly jumps off the pole before it flies into Kevin's and Eddy's houses, demolishing them and we hear Eddy's and Kevin's pain-filled cries under the rubble! Then Nazz is knocked down when the good Sarah is thrown into her.
"SARAH!!" Nazz restrains the good Sarah by pinning her to ground, holding her arms. But the good Sarah screams "LET GO!!"
"SARAH, PLEASE GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!!" Double-D yells as he, Ed, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe rush over.
"GUYS, WATCH OUT!!" the good Sarah yells to her brother and friends as another angry Sarah appears! The second angry Sarah grabs Ed and slams him onto Double-D, sending them through the concrete and into the sewer below! Then a THIRD angry Sarah appears!!
"HOLY-" Kyle is interrupted when the third angry Sarah bashes his and Jimmy's heads together. Nazz gasps at this before the first angry Sarah bites onto her arm, thrashes her around, and throws her at Zoe. Nazz and Zoe are sent flying through Eddy's cardboard platform and into Nazz's garage door, leaving the good Sarah alone against the three angry clones!!
"AAGH!!" the good Sarah goes on the defensive as the angry Sarahs attack simultaneously, but she manages to hold them off for several seconds before a car is thrown at her, but she dodges. The car destroys the house next to Rolf's, then the good Sarah dodges a punch from one of the angry Sarahs. That angry Sarah's fist gets stuck through a mailbox, and the good Sarah twists the angry Sarah's stuck arm with a loud bone-cracking sound. Then she kicks the angry Sarah down and uses the mailbox to combat the other two angry Sarahs. The good Sarah whacks one of the angry Sarahs into a tree near Double-D's house, and she charges to finish that angry Sarah. But the angry Sarah recovers and pushes down the tree to crush the good Sarah, but she dodges. However, a fourth angry Sarah leaps out from a hole in the tree, catching the good Sarah by surprise!
"SHIT!" the good Sarah is punched onto the street intersection, but she quickly gets up to defend herself from the two angry Sarahs attacking her. The other two angry Sarahs join, making a 4 vs 1 battle against the good Sarah. Ed and Double-D emerge from the sewer, both bruised. Jimmy, Kyle, Zoe and Nazz recovers well, and they see the good Sarah disappear around the corner to attack the angry Sarahs. The good Sarah repeatedly swings her mailbox weapon at the angry Sarahs, but one of them kicks the mailbox's head off. The Sarahs battle down the street, causing oncoming cars to spin out and crash into houses and other cars, and a mail truck crashes into Paul's house and we hear his pain-filled SCREAM from inside! Upon reaching Main Street, the Sarahs all get hit by a car, with the good Sarah and one of the angry Sarahs going through the windshield.
"WHOA!!" the driver loses control of his car as the five Sarahs fight on the hood. Behind the out-of-control car, Ed and Double-D are following via the retro van. They see the car into a fire hydrant, sending the Sarahs flying towards a bus going in the opposite direction. They crash into the bus through the windshield, and the driver does the Wilhelm scream as he's thrown out through his window. All the passengers scream, and some jump out of the bus as the Sarahs battle inside it. Meanwhile, Nazz, Jimmy, Kyle and Zoe are riding in Nazz's silver SUV, looking for Sarah.
"THERE!" Jimmy spots the good Sarah inside the passing bus, and Nazz steers her SUV to follow the bus. In the bus, an angry Sarah slams the good Sarah's face against the steering wheel's horn, and as the good Sarah tries fighting back, she accidentally turns the steering wheel to the right. This makes the bus turn right into a parking lot, and it mows through numerous parked cars and towards Dickie's Supermarket (first seen in "You Are What You Ed"). Inside the supermarket, people are going about their business when the bus CRASHES in through the front wall, destroys some checkout terminals, runs over people, and knocks down half of the aisle shelves via the domino effect!! Outside, Nazz stops her SUV and calls Double-D via her cellphone:
"Double-D, Sarah's inside Dickie's." Nazz informs.
Inside Dickie's, numerous food and other items have been either destroyed or scattered around, people are crawling out from under knocked-down aisle shelves, and the bus has fallen on its side. The good Sarah, her hair now messy and loose, emerges from under a pile of knocked-over watermelons near the bus, which she looks at. Much to her horror, there are now over a dozen angry Sarahs, who are also messy-haired, coming out of the bus and nearby food-piles.
"Wh-What the hell is going on? WHY IS THERE SO MANY OF ME?!!" the good Sarah asks in shock and confusion, then the angry Sarahs charge at her. She blocks an angry Sarah's kick, swings one into three others, then dodges yet another's punches. One angry Sarah throws watermelons at the good Sarah, who dodges some and throws some back at the angry Sarahs. But as more and more angry Sarahs appear, the good Sarah is eventually forced to retreat into an aisle. She reappears with a shopping cart and uses it to run over numerous angry Sarahs, but one of them gets under the cart. She jumps up and pushes the cart to send it and the good Sarah into a lobster tank, spilling out the water and lobsters inside, and all the Sarahs get drenched. The good Sarah uses the lobsters to pinch any angry Sarahs that come at her, but the angry Sarahs retaliate by throwing fruits, veggies, and various food packages. The good Sarah is blinded by this barrage, allowing an angry Sarah to bitch-slap her up over the aisles and into a security mirror near the checkout terminals, knocking it down. The good Sarah lands next to it as the angry Sarahs race down an aisle towards her. As the good Sarah gets up, she looks into the security mirror...
... And gasps upon seeing that the angry Sarahs behind her have no reflections!!!
"... No!... This whole time, they were..." the bug-eyed Sarah realizes that all the angry Sarahs are imaginary and were inside her head all along!! Thus, when Sarah flashes back to all the damage and harm her mental battle did, it was ALL actually done by her single berserking self!!! Sarah clenches her fists...
"They aren't real... They're just the anger bottled up inside me." Sarah figures out as she gets up and runs outside. Her imaginary anger clones chase her outside...
... and they're met with an army of good Sarahs!!!
"THIS-ENDS-NOOOWWWWW!!!" the good Sarahs shout their battle cry as they and the angry Sarahs charge across the parking lot towards each other. They finally collide, and they start punching, kicking, throwing, and strangling each other!! An angry Sarah snaps a good Sarah's neck, while two good Sarahs team up to tear an angry Sarah in half like paper! The good and angry Sarahs continue battling each other until, in the end, all of them are on the ground bruised, battered, and some even appear to be bleeding and have chunks of themselves torn off!!
Then the real Sarah rises up from them, heavily bruised with a black eye and torn clothes (including a missing shoe and sock leaving her foot bare), and all the imaginary Sarahs start fading away. After they finally vanish, Ed, Double-D, Nazz, Zoe, Kyle and Jimmy rush towards Sarah.
"Sarah, are you alright?" Double-D asks as Ed and Kyle help Sarah up, and Zoe tells Sarah "You were beatin yourself up pretty bad!"
"Sarah, are you still... y'know, mad?" Jimmy asks. Sarah looks at him, and smiles!
"Actually, Jimmy.... I think...... it's all over!" Sarah answers.
"YAY, BABY SISTER IS MAD NO MORE!!" Ed picks up Sarah and joyfully bear-hugs her, making her scream "OW!! PUT ME DOWN, YOU-"
Sarah seems to anger again, but it quickly fades and she hugs Ed back!
"You... You didn't lose it this time! Did ya really?..." Kyle asks, amazed.
YAY, WAY TO GO, SARAH!!" Zoe gives a congratulatory smack to Sarah's back, making Sarah go "YEOW!" and seems to anger again. But, once more, it fades!
Jimmy sheds a tear: "You really did it, Sarah!" Jimmy hugs Sarah, joined by Kyle and Zoe! But then Sarah yelps and holds her stomach in pain.
"Be gentle, guys. Sarah's hurt." Nazz helps Sarah up to where her SUV and Double-D's retro van are at. "Rest inside the van for now."
Nazz helps Sarah into the back of the retro van, where Sarah lays on the water bed. Double-D and Ed sit up front and they happily look at Sarah, who sweetly smiles back at them (though the cuteness is lessened by her messed-up looks)!
Sarah's Diary:
"... And that wraps up my story! I'm a new Sarah Lynn Christensen, I can finally move on now, and everyone is happy! Ok not everybody, since I further injured Eddy, Kevin and Paul while I was fighting myself. But other than that, everything's ok now. Mom and Dad bought me some anger management pills, but that turned out to be a waste once Ed told them the news. Or maybe not; perhaps Mom could use em for her own anger issues, hahaha! Well, my hand is starting to hurt from writing this long entry, so I'll finish it here, then I'm going to bed. See ya later, diary!"
The End!!!
Trivia: Sarah's sea anemone-shaped lamp is a reference to my giving her the sea anemone as her sea animal theme. This is because Jimmy would always rely on Sarah whenever he's scared, just like how clownfish (Jimmy's theme) rely on sea anemones for protection. Eddy's stunt and his mentioning of Dave England are both references to the second Jackass movie, where Dave England jumped with a big green yoga ball in one skit. And lastly, Sarah fighting an imaginary clone of herself is a reference to the movie "Fight Club."
The next episode is Rolf's episode, so stay tuned, Rolfy worshippers!!