A/N: Luxord embarks on his first mission with Roxas! It's so hard keeping to the exact words of the 365/2 Days script since it sounds so daft on paper...I'm hoping that it still reads okay, but if there's any awkwardness in the spoken words, that is not me! :) Hope you like this update!

XXXVII. Pendulum

If Roxas considered Axel a mentor, then there was little I could do to prove him otherwise. He thought the world of Number VIII, and I didn't want to disrupt the friendship that they had. It was spectacular how quickly they had bonded...and how quickly the bond between Axel and Saix had been severed. I could only hope that Axel had made a good gamble. All I had to do was wait for the opportunity for me to make my move on their exact status.

Much like in chess, Roxas was the King. He was the only one that kept the game going, and his subjects had to protect him as much as they could to guarantee his safety. It was a rather simple concept, however that only really applied so long as the pieces knew their role. Those who went further than the job description were swiftly cut down, rendering the King's defence useless.

Namely, the Castle Oblivion team.

Despite equality, I only got paired up with Roxas on a mission almost six months after he joined. It was a long wait, but it was an inevitable sign that I could now see what the others had moulded him into. I had no part in his development, and it interested me incredibly in what he had become.

For I, despite appearances and my past, didn't want to force him the way others had.

"So, we're here hunting specific game today, hmm?" It was difficult as I had been kept out of the loop for some time, and it was even more difficult to start an engaging conversation with Roxas. I had only exchanged a few words with him, but with a full-blown mission, it was a chance for us to get along and know each other with more than names to go by.

Roxas took a few moments to stammer a reply.

I arched an eyebrow. "What's wrong? First time here?" I had been to Wonderland on several occasions before, but I didn't think it any grander than the other worlds. The large cards put my own in perspective, and were very amusing when I first saw them. Not knowing what Roxas had done up until now put me at a major disadvantage.

He looked straight ahead. "No, I was here on a mission a little while ago. And I ran into this white rabbit in a huge hurry to get somewhere."

I wouldn't say I had been here a few times, but something didn't add up. "A rabbit? Really?" From what I saw of the place, there was only a monarchy and some rather enormous flowers to symbolise any sort of life other than the Heartless. Perhaps there were a few creatures that revealed themselves around Number XIII.

"I lost sight of him before I had chance to see what the deal was, though," he replied, as though he didn't want me to press him for details.

Was that how the other members had treated him? That even though he was younger and mentally less capable, they emphasised the difference between them by talking down at him? It seemed plausible for a number of the remaining Organisation members, and it was only natural for Roxas to find refuge with Axel more than anyone else.

For on the exterior, Axel was one of the most amicable players. However, in my experience, they were also on most occasions the one to look out for.

I couldn't afford someone who doesn't know the rules of poker out my sight. Not only would he stall the game, but it made him an easy target. One who would lose his chips before he knew what was happening, and that was a dangerous place to be.

I vaguely recalled my initial steps of being casino owner to be very similar. Perhaps that was why I was obliged to help Roxas however I can. Back when I was fifteen, learning the ways of the businessman, it was only a matter of years before I realised my mistake. Naturally, the day of my twenty-first birthday when I was officially fit to be the heir of the casino. I had taken the chances, but there wasn't anything to say that it was the right option at the time.

With the game before me for the second time, it was a game where a gentleman couldn't lose twice. Perhaps it was unfair of me to use Roxas as my second chance, regardless I considered the rules and had learnt the objective off by heart.

I let him go at his own pace, letting him taking the lead in what he thought was right. I deliberated hints when he felt particularly lost, covered his back when the Heartless made their grand appearance.

But more importantly, I didn't stress his importance to the Organisation.

It was his choice what he wanted to do. Whatever happened to us was not of his concern, as a player who, at the end of the day, only cared about how much money was in his own wallet. If I could keep up with the other players, then I stood a reasonable chance in reaching my objective.

If I was even a few seconds behind on each swing of the pendulum, then there was no chance I would be able to catch up.

When I returned to my room once the mission had finished, I pop into the Grey Area like I normally did. Instead, I snatched the block of paper as I used my other hand to draw the chair out. I had learnt a lot this evening, and I didn't feel it right to forget about it in the morning.

Roxas, Zexion, even Demyx. There was something about them that made them stand out more than anyone in the Organisation. Not the way Marluxia had, but in their own unique way. They didn't know fear, and most likely never had a chance to fully comprehend its power.

Was it something to do with experience, I considered.

As Zexion had said before I made him age, he didn't care about the consequences of his decision. Although he was young, he knew what he was doing. He hadn't considered the numerous consequences that I had thought of, instead facing the problem head-on. He didn't even want to know, I recalled. It was highly doubtful that it would have made any difference if I did list off my every concern.

And Roxas. I smiled as I reflected on the recent mission. He was blissfully innocent of anything and everything. He knew his status, and didn't let it get to his head. He didn't boast his capabilities or treat me as beneath him. Yet that was what made it more dangerous – children, at some point or another, had to grow up.

Ergo Demyx. He was impossible to understand fully, with a knack of being lazy. And, whilst adults know it is their responsibility to be punctual and do a good job, Demyx failed miserably at such a task and proved to be a liability. Despite that, he didn't bother changing his attitude when Saix lectured him or when his colleagues were paired with him, they often complained about his lack of involvement.

I let my thoughts wander as I started writing. There was more to the problem than what the Superior was letting on. There was more to the heart than just emotions. It was about who we were before, and how essentially being immortal makes us lose more money than we thought. Would it have been better if we could choose how we are…for if we were stuck as this persona, never to exist in light or dark, would it be better if we were never born at all?

I find myself envying the children. Perhaps some fundamental difference exists between those who become Nobodies as adults and otherwise. The longer you have lived, the more you are positioned to lose with such a gamble. But a child can look forward, unafraid even in the face of immeasurable odds. I doubt they even see life as a gamble the way we do.

That was it.

I shot out of my room to the Grey Area, eager to tell someone of what I had realised. If told to risk their life, adults weigh the options rationally and consider things from a distance. With children though, they trust themselves more than anything. Impulsivity was deemed as a hindrance, but in their case, it wasn't. It fuelled them, and made the decision turn for the better.

That was the difference between us. It wasn't age – it was mentality. And the more we had matured as Somebodies, it made the mentality of the Nobody counterparts a lot harder to manipulate and mould. We were unable to adapt to our surroundings, whereas children could.

That was their trump card.

The one who was the victim of my outburst was Xigbar, quite possibly the one person who would understand where I was coming from. Although our relationship was only mutual – like Axel – I could never be too careful around him, despite his nonchalant nature and light-handed remarks.

"What are you trying to say?" Xigbar asked once I had finished. I wasn't one to ramble, so I didn't waste too much of his time.

I smiled. I had phrased my theory in such a way that Zexion as his younger self wasn't involved. As far as the rest of the Organisation was concerned, Zexion had matured within the Organisation. I hadn't been witness to that, and that also made it harder to prove my theory had a solid foundation. "I'm saying that if the Organisation was run by teenagers rather than adults, it would be very different."

To further my point, I summoned the King of Hearts along with the Ace. "There are different interests, as well as different viewpoints. When you were younger, what were you into?"

Xigbar furrowed his eyebrows, his visible eye narrowing considerably. Judging from his body language, he didn't want to share.

And I was quite content with that. "For me, I loved my family. I rarely thought of anything else but them, and as I grew up, that love depreciated at a rapid rate." Love from a businessman was distracting and made them lose sight of the goal. That one stuffy photograph of me and my father sprang to mind – no love, just a connection. "And now that we're living in this form, we had experienced the sense of leaving our old self behind that the children didn't have the chance to. That is what makes Roxas more volatile than us."

My grin grew wider as I was welcomed by silence. For now, Roxas was being obedient to us, but for how long?

That doubt was enough for me to be ahead of the pendulum, and for Xigbar to get left behind.