"You are what?" Rev exclaims in a staticky voice, over the phone. "You can't get married in lka week. I'm not ready!"

"Ready for what?" I implore.

"I don't' know, ok. There is still so much to do. How can you do this to me?"

"I just want it to be done with," I say wearily

"I get that," she changes her tune now, "Let me come over so we can hammer out these last details. And, I will call Jeremiah!"

LATER:

Reves comes over with a long (impossible) to do list. "We aren't prepared. We just aren't prepared," she clucks. "So, how are you going to get all these people here so soon?" she questions with a matter of fact.

I shrug, "Whoever makes it, makes it."

Kevin chimes in, "And if not, fuck 'em. A lot of them have no excuse when they live in the state and are retired anyway."

Reves' face washes over with a seething look, "That's right some lazy bastards who haven't worked in years."

Dear Lord. "Anyway," I turn to Rev, "Can you do me a huge favor?"

She raises an eyebrow, "What kind of favor?"

"Can you, uh...call Mom and Dad and tell them?" I look hopeful.

She snorts, "I don't want to do that!"

"Why not?" I demand.

"Because I don't want to be the bearer of bad news."

"Oh, thanks," I eject sarcastically.

"Besides they'll be mad at me for letting it happen."

"What are you talking about?"

"They'll blame me. Yes, they will," She nods, pursing her lips."

My face falls, "So, what do you want me to do? Just do it and say, 'Oh, by the way, I've been married for three months'?

"Maybe."

"Shut up, you fucking hens!" Kevin interrupts, "I'll call." He grabs his phone, "Hell, it's been years since I've even had Mark's number."

"Umm, ok," I reply nervously. I recite my dad's current cell number and swallow hard, as an anxious lump forms in my throat. We had just made up a week prior. I don't want it all to be ruined again.

It rings several times and it must be going to voicemail now. "Hey, Mark. What's up buddy? It's Kev. Long time, man. So anyway, I wanted to let you know that Heather and I are getting married next week. You and Sara need to bring yourselves out here and support your daughter on her big day. See ya later man, You need to call me sometime."

That ends the message and Rev and I sit there slackjawed. "Why did you talk like you guys are best friends?" I ask, stare at him as if he has three heads.

"Because we were great buddies at one time and if I talk like that, it shows there's no animosity, at least on my part."

"Like that'll solve everything," Rev mumbles.

"Well, it's better than you pussies. 'Oh my God. What do we do'?" Kevin retorts, mockingly.

"Well, we get nervous, ok! And yes, we do have vaginas. Thanks for stating the obvious."

"Let's focus on doing this, though," I point to the list tasks. "Thank God that hurricane moved farther up north, so we won't be getting any of that next week."

"Yeah, and when the tornado hits, it will be those people's problem," Reves adds.

"What?"

"You know, when a hurricane goes on land it becomes a tornado," she says matter of fact.

There is silence and my mouth hangs open for a brief moment while I register what I just heard. All of a sudden, I burst out in uncontrollable laughter that causes me to double over. "What? How the fuck does a hurricane become a tornado?"

"Ok, what is it, then?"

"A hurricane i-is rain. A tornado is like dust and stuff!" I spit out between fits of laughter, "That is hilarious!"

Kevin is laughing at her, too, "Way to go, Rev."

Reves scowls, "Well jeez, you don't have to be such assholes."

I finally get up from the floor, where I ended up. "Alright, I'm sorry. But wow! That was rich!" I start up again. "Ok, ok. What do we have left to do with this?" We work hard calling places and trying to get things arranged last minute.

When it is late in the evening, Rev goes home. Kev and I are laying in bed watching tv and he says to me, "So since we are now getting married so suddenly, I guess it's time to start looking for a house."

"A house?" I repeat, a little perplexed.

"Yeah, you don't want to just live at my place do you? Besides, I don't think all your junk will fit."

"It's not junk," I glare at him

"Just messing. But don't you want a home to start together?"

I pause, feeling ill-prepared, " I guess, I never thought of this much. This place does have a sort of man cave flare to it." I wrinkle my nose in feigned disgust.

"Now I'm a neanderthal, aye?" He grabs me and flips me over, pushing my body under him.

I giggle, "No, I meant-"

I am stifled by a deep kiss that renders me breathless anyway.