2183 CE - Mindoir
She'd left him everything she owned.
The apartment she won on Pinnacle, the land on Mindoir where her parents had died - all her credits and everything she'd touched was now in his possession.
He didn't want any of it. He only wanted Shepard, he wanted her laughter, her smiles. He wanted to feel her vibrancy under his touch. He wanted to watch her six where ever she was, where ever you went when you died.
She'd left him behind and he was broken.
He pulled over, the GPS bleeping softly as he arrived at the farmland she allocated him, his hands grasped the wheel of the hover car, his jaw flexing in protest as he clenched his teeth.
Had it only been a month?
He rubbed at the center of his chest - he felt void of life, void of want. He ached, the emotion raw and tired. He reached behind the seat and grabbed the package waiting for him there.
They hadn't found her body. There was nothing to bury, nothing for him to mourn over. His lips twisted down, he reached up and pulled out his amp, just in case... he had another breakdown like that one on Alchera once they found Joker.
Alone.
"She didn't make it, Kaidan - I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
He swallowed, the pain swelling again. He flexed his hand - it still hurt but the bone had mended. He took in a deep breath and pushed the door open and stepped outside.
He squint his eyes, the bright sun blinding him for a moment - he stared out ahead of him. He could see the large cornfield flourishing under the beautiful weather. The large farmhouse was rebuilt, he eyed it critically, wondering if it was to spec from her childhood - not that he'd ever know.
She was supposed to bring him here when she was ready to face her past once more - they'd spoke about it, here and there when she was finally confiding herself in him. Her secrets, her fears - the woman under the Commander. He was the only one that knew that side of her and he would greedily hang on to it for the rest of his long life.
He rubbed his thumb across the paper in his hands, looking down at the flowers between his hands.
"What's your favourite flower?"
"Planning on sweeping me off my feet, Lieutenant?"
"I think I just did that, an hour ago."
"Funny."
"I try... but seriously, tell me." he nudged her, his fingers trailing the taut muscle of her bare belly - her lazy grin warming his loins.
"The Freesia," she tells him between kisses, and he loses himself in her once more.
Kaidan looked up towards the sky, clutching the flowers and small pack of bulbs he would plant back in their apartment but for today... he approached the empty home filled with shadows of a life he'd never know and laid them at the door of her farmhouse. He spread his palm flat against the door and wept.