"And what have I done to bestow the honour of you calling me during the day?" Adrian chirped happily as he answered my phone call. "I was under the impression that we could only be friends whilst you were unconscious," he joked, but I just couldn't laugh in response. After my breakdown, I had sullenly walked to the guesthouse and sorted out a room for me to stay in. The first thing I had done was collapse on the bed and scream into the pillow, hoping that would drown out my cries of anguish. My screaming fit seemed to help; the pent up anger was slowly beginning to dissolve, and my head was no longer a hazy mess. I crawled to the edge of the bed, too exhausted to get up even though I probably looked like an ungraceful mess and stretched my arm out, feeling for the phone that I dropped with a heavy thud as soon as I walked into the room. Ten minutes of blind groping paid off as I grabbed hold of it, pulling it up to my side.
Was I disappointed that Dimitri hadn't answered my call, nor had he yet phoned me back? Yeah, I was. I mean, a part of me was glad that he hadn't acknowledged my garbled, nonsensical message, because it was embarrassing. I had cried down the phone to him, and it had been pathetic. But I needed him. I really needed him.
There was one thing I did know for sure; I was way out of my depths. I couldn't deal with this alone. I needed help, I needed backup. Rose Hathaway didn't admit defeat easily, but this time I held my hands up. I was in deep shit, and I needed someone to back me up.
"Rose?" Adrian questioned, awakening me from my deep thoughts.
I blinked, startled by the sound of him voice down the phone. "Sorry, I wasn't listening," I told him honestly, trying to figure how much I should tell him. The less he knew the better. The less he knew the safer he would be.
"Are you okay?" he asked.
In a small voice, I answered him. "No," I admitted truthfully, sighing heavily as I uncurled my body and sat up. "I think I've made a massive mistake."
Adrian was silent for a moment, probably expecting me to explain, but words had abandoned me. I could do nothing but stare blankly at the opposite wall, wondering when exactly my life had turned to crap. "What's up?" he questioned, his voice gentle. A part of me wished that I had waited to talk to him in my sleep, because his calming presence would have soothed me. But I highly doubted I would be able to sleep in the state I was in.
"Everything," I muttered. Again, I paused, trying to figure out where to start. "I don't think I should have pushed Lissa away. I don't think I should've left Court. And I especially don't think I should have started guarding Tasha," I rushed, stumbling over the words. Somehow the words came rushing out in one flux motion. It was as if the floodgate was open and I couldn't stop the confession and the anxiety from spilling over into a slur of words.
"Rose, what's going on?" Adrian asked, his voice turning gravely seriously. I sighed. As I dialled his number I knew it was a bad idea. I just needed someone to talk to; someone to comfort me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I needed my best friend. I needed Adrian. But I couldn't tell him what was really behind my anguish. I couldn't place him in danger by revealing the truth to him.
"Nothing. It doesn't matter," I told him. It wasn't lying. It was omitting the truth. "I'm just having a crap day and I needed a friendly face." The last bit was the truth. No matter how bad things were, Adrian always managed to cheer me up, and I desperately needed him to use his magic and cheer me up now.
"Are you sure that's just it?" Adrian asked cautiously.
I huffed down the phone at him. "Yes Adrian, that's it," I informed him, lacing my words with attitude in hopes that would make him believe me. Was it nice that somebody actually gave a damn about me for a change? Yeah, it was. I felt like someone actually cared. But I couldn't deal with him prying. I was still emotionally raw, and I couldn't trust myself to not break down again.
I sighed, a question poised like poison on my lips, but I was too uncertain about saying them out loud. I pursed them together, wondering if I should ask Adrian. After all, that was the main reason why I had phoned him in the first place. I knew what his reaction would be. I knew exactly what he would say, but I wasn't one to shirk away from uncomfortable situations. "Hey Adrian?" I said cautiously. "You haven't happened to see Dimitri today, have you?"
"What?" he shrieked down the phone, totally overreacting to such a simple question. Again, I sighed, although this time it was due to frustration.
It was literally killing me that Dimitri hadn't answered his phone. It wasn't like I expected anything left from him, but still, he had been the one who had demanded that I kept in touch. I didn't expect him to sit around all day, waiting for my call or anything, but it had been over an hour since I had called him. A little acknowledgement would have been nice; a text, telling me he'd get back to me as soon as he could. It wasn't like I was worried or anything, more curious. After all, he hadn't exactly got many friends, nor had he got a job, so I was really at lost as to why he hadn't picked up and spoken to me.
"I tried to get in contact with him earlier, but he didn't pick up," I explained, running my free hand through my hair, wincing as my fingers got tangled with a mass of knots.
Instead of telling me that I had been a complete idiot, Adrian asked "What did you call him about?"
I frowned, trying to come up with a good enough lie. I knew phoning him was a good idea. Although it sucked that I wouldn't see him face to face, it meant that he couldn't read my aura and figure out that I was straight out lying to him. "I wanted to ask him a question..." I managed to say, although my uncertainty was probably clear for Adrian to hear.
"What question? Maybe I can help," Adrian replied helpfully. I rolled my eyes at this. I had forgotten what it was like to have a friend who was actually interested in my life. But Adrian was trying to be a little too helpful for my liking, and it took all my control not to bring it up with him.
"I don't think so. It was about...cowboys," I said lamely, trying to stifle my groan. Seriously, couldn't I have come up with something better than 'cowboys'?
"Right..." Adrian said, elongating the word and highlighting the fact that he didn't believe me. But luckily, he didn't call me out on it. "So what, you want me to go find Belikov and tell him that you desperately need him to phone you back so you can ask him a question about cowboys?" Adrian asked, putting extra emphasis on the last word. I could imagine him going as far as putting quotations around it.
"NO!" I practically shouted down the phone to him. "I mean, if you happen to run into him, you could just mention that I tried phoning him. You don't have to go out looking for him. And you don't need to tell him what it's about," I said, wincing at how idiotic I was sounding. "Oh, and maybe you could tell him not to listen to his voicemail..."
Silence engulfed the phone line as Adrian comprehended my words. I could just imagine him staring at his cell, wondering what the hell I was going on about. "Rose, you know I love you, right? And before you try and flatter yourself, I don't mean it in that way," he quickly added, causing me to close my mouth and swallow my protest against his words, "but you're crazy. You're probably crazier than me, and that's saying something."
"And you're point is?"
"Getting back with Belikov is a bad idea," Adrian said, sighing heavily. I opened my mouth up in surprise, trying to figure out how he had managed to come to that conclusion. I most definitely did not want to get back with Dimitri. It just wasn't going to happen. Never ever was that going to happen. No. Just no.
And I had no clue how Adrian had jumped to that conclusion. Was he even having the same conversation as I was? "Why would you think that?" I exclaimed, "I don't want to get back with him, Adrian."
"Little Dhampir, you just told me that you phoned him up to ask about 'cowboys'. And even if that was true – and believe me, you're not fooling anyone with that lame ass excuse – normal people just don't call up their exes on a whim," he explained.
"Then I guess I should hang up on you," I threatened, pointing out the hypocrisy of his point, but Adrian just laughed.
"I said 'normal people', Rose. And you're not normal, remember?"
I pouted, glad that nobody was there to witness my sulk. Realising I was being immature and stupid, I straightened up. "Look, I don't want to get back with Dimitri, but I do need to contact him. It's really important," I told him, the emotion seeping back into my throat and causing my voice to crack.
Realising the change in mood, Adrian asked "are you sure you're alright?"
I nodded, before remembering he couldn't see me. "Yeah. No. It's a long story."
Again, I thought Adrian would push me on the matter; force me to reveal what was going on. But it seemed like Adrian was going to keep on surprising me. "Is this related to the fact that you told Lissa you couldn't be friends?"
"You heard about that?"
"Yeah. Listen, Rose, I know something is up. And I know that you probably won't tell me, and although I really want to know what the hell is going on, I understand that you probably have your reasons for leaving me in the dark. But if you ever need me, I'll be there for you. All you've got to ask and I'll be by your side. Okay?"
"Yeah," I managed to say, my voice meek.
It felt like my heart was starting to thaw as I comprehended his words. The last year had been utter crap; it felt like every time I had managed to get myself up and on my own two feet, something would cause me to hurtle back down to the ground. And recently I had been struggling to get back up. I was battered and bruised and I needed a break, but as per usual, I didn't get one. I wasn't allowed one, because whoever was in control of this forsaken universe obviously had it in for me.
A part of me thought there was no hope. Tasha was out of control and there seemed to be nothing I could do to stop her. The world was whirling and whizzing and all I could do was stand and watch as it crumbled to sand. But as I listened to Adrian's warm, kind words, I realised that there was hope. I realised that even if I couldn't stop Tasha, I had to try. I had to do something.
Even though I was tired and emotionally burnt out, I couldn't give up. I had to take a stand. If I couldn't stand up on my own, then I had to find the right person to hold me up and support me. And although I didn't like to admit it – hell, I didn't like to even think about it – I knew exactly who that person was going to be.
AN: Hello my lovely readers! So I was going to update this weekend, but I ending up rewriting this entire chapter, because the other one was rubbish. And yet, it was the same as this one: a phone conversation between Adrian and Rose. But I haven't written any conversations between them in ages, and it just didn't feel right, hence this one, which is a lot better (wow, that sounds like I'm flattering myself, but seriously, the other one was so bad that if I had hit my forehead repeatedly against my keyboard the result would have been better than the original chapter). Anyway, the next update will probably be at the end of the week, because after Thursday I have nothing to do with me life. Seriously, I'm dreading the day coming, because I will no longer have anything to look forward to and my life will lack all meaning. Why am I being so melodramatic? Because my favourite web series is ending =[ (if anyone is interested, it's The Lizzie Bennet Diaries, and if you haven't seen it, then what the hell are you doing?! Stop reading my ramblings and watch it on Youtube. NOW!) Am I overeacting to it ending? Quite possibly. But Jane Austen is one of my favourite authors, plus I'm easily addicted to videos on Youtube. Anyways...thanks for reading, reviewing (hopefully...hint hint =D) and being completely awesome!
Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN VA!