Izaya took a slurp of the soup. It tasted like greasy cardboard but he acted as if it was a delicacy. Tears were streaming down Aoba's face.
"Hey, making Aoba-kun cry is not nice, Iza-chan…"
"Like I care! Delicious shark fin is delicious."
Suddenly Aoba jumped to his feet.
"I want shark fin soup too!"
"What the hell?"
"My shark kin died for me. Eating my brothers and sisters will allow me to absorb their strength! You did not die in vain, my brother!"
And as soon as the soup arrived Aoba swallowed it whole and nearly choked in the process.
"What is wrong with you? Who would eat their family? Oh, forget it. You're a creepo anyway."
"I'm channeling shark power!"
"Aoba-kun? NHK is calling. They want you to feature in a commercial for condoms. 'Use them or you may end up with something like this kid'".
"Hate all you want, dude. You're the one getting raped anyway."
"Whatever."
Shizuo beamed for reasons quite beyond Izaya's comprehension.
"Like, this is Chinese food. Does that mean that if we eat it we'll become Chinese?"
"No...no, it doesn't."
"You really know a lot of stuff!"
"Another bowl! I'll eat the all of the sharks to become just like them!"
"I just remembered, you mentioned North Korea in your crazy anti-war spiel! So you can't claim ignorance on the existence of the Koreas!"
"I did...? Oh, that! I like, got confused. So there's more than one of these Koreas? Wah, there's only one Japan! We're totally losing here!"
Izaya was getting a headache. He finished eating as soon as he could and tried to slip away but of course Shizuo caught him.
"I know what you're thinking, Iza-chan. That I haven't been taking care of you properly but you don't have to worry. Tonight I'm all yours!"
"Oh...yay..."
A sudden bout of inspiration occurred to Izaya at this point.
"Shizu-chan, you know how they say that the really important things aren't overstated? As in, talking too much about them ends up cheapening them."
"Yeah..."
"This love of yours is just the same. By keep going on and on and on about it becomes rather shallow. So how about you stop doing that?"
Shizuo was silent then gasped loudly, eyes glittering.
"I understand it now! Like, totally! It's been bothering me, how you never talked about your feelings for me...I even asked Shiki-sama about and he said that's just the way you are but to be honest it worried me. But if this how you feel, if talking about it is cheapening it then you must love me so very much, that was why you said nothing about it! Iza-chan, that is adorable. It shows your emotions are very deep. I am...so touched..."
And Shizuo actually wiped a tear and sobbed. Izaya made unarticulated noises that were vaguely akin to words.
"Iza-chan, from now on I won't go on about my feelings for you. Instead, I'll show how I feel with actions."
Izaya choked, stammered, choked some more and before he knew quite how Shizuo had dragged him to their suite and placed him carefully in bed. Shizuo proceeded to rummage through his luggage.
"I wasn't too sure about these thingies but Shiki-sama said it'd be cool to use them."
Izaya paled considerably as he realized that Shizuo had just produced an assortment of sex toys.
"Holy hell!"
"Yeah! At first I wasn't too sure of this here thingy but Shiki-sama totally said it was fine to use it. That it, like helped you admit your true feelings. That's so important! They say so on TV, too. Those talk shows, you know?"
"Your authorities are a yakuza and Oprah. The combination doesn't make sense! Can't you follow logic at least a bit? How am I supposed to have the slightest chance of winning when you don't act even remotely like a logical human being?"
Shizuo laughed.
"So silly, Iza-chan. Love has nothing to do with logic!"
Shizuo produced a vial and waved the about.
"And is that...?"
"It's a, what's it called, complicated name...let's just try it and see what happens!"
Without further ado Shizuo poured the entire vial on Izaya after ripping his clothes to shreds because it took much less time then actually removing them. Izaya gasped as thick pinkish liquid touched his skin, a strange feeling of warmth beginning to spread immediately. It took Izaya two heartbeats to realize what was happening.