Bellas point of view
Living hell. Pure torture.
Thats what this was. Being apart from Edward. Well not really.
He was so close, yet so far away.
I cant explain how badly I want him to hold me. How badly I want to feel his big strong warm arms wrapped around me protectively. He used to do that every night. Now I just lay in bed tense, not knowing what to do. Do I shift? Turn over? If I turn over he would be facing me, then the tears will flow like the Nile river.
Everytime I go to do something that could possibly end this fued, that picture pops up in my head.
I dont want to explain how badly I want to kill that fucking bitch. Or atleast slap her a few times!
I trusted Edward with all my heart. I cant believe he did that.
Litteraly I cant believe it.
It shows in his eyes at times when he looks at me how sorry he is.
But, what is he sorry for? Sorry for cheating on me? Sorry he ever married me? Or sorry because he didnt want any of this to happen?
Was he in love with this other girl? Everytime I think he might end up leaving me my throat gets tight and its hard to swallow.
I dont know if I can live without Edward. Well, actually I do. I cant.
People say to their loves; 'Im not saying I cant live without you, im saying I dont want too.'
I cant live without Edward. He was my life, my one and only love. When I think of my life without Edward my heart hurts. I feel like it stops beating, which if I had to live a life without Edward then I prefer it did.
Why am I being so stubborn? The answer is because every single guy I had ever been with has done something unfaithful.
Thats why I havent been with many guys at all.
When you finally let one in and trust him, marry him, have his goddamn baby, he snaps and does the same thing those other guys did.
At first when I was thinking about it at the bookstore the night this all started, I thought that maybe they werent kissing, or maybe she pulled him onto her. But then on the t.v in the bookstore the news came on again.
I never failed to notice how his hands were on her shoulders pulling her to him.
I cleaned up my plate and grabbed Sophie from the table. We just finished eating lunch.
Edward followed us out to the living room silently. I plopped down with the remote on the recliner and leaned back in it with her.
Edward sat on the far end of the couch. So far, but yet so close. Does it always have to be like this?
I flicked the t.v on and ran through some channels. When it hit Nickelodeon Sophie smiled.
"Pongebob!" She giggled. She had a problem pronouncing her S's. Still she could only say about 10 words all together.
"Spongebob it is." I laughed and set the remote down. The Spongebob Movie was on. Good she hasnt seen this one before, she has a low tolerance for reruns.
It was at the part where Spongebob meets Patrick at goofy goobers or whatever.
"Figures Spongebob gets drunk." I muttered. He was all wobly with a 5 o'clock shadow.
I heard Edward chuckle from the couch and smiled at the sound. Such a beautiful sound, it should be let out more often. Its my fault it isnt.
I sighed and snuggled up to Sophie on the recliner. Soon I was drifting off. I hadnt had much sleep lately, even though I pretended to be sleeping I dont know if Edward bought it.
When I was on the vurge of deep slumber I felt two strong arms tuck a blanket over me tightly. Hmm, I was cold.
"I love you Bella, more than anything." He whispered in my ear, he pressed his lips tenderly to my forhead. Then he was gone. I missed the smell of his sweet breath fanning across my face as he whispered to me such sweet things. He always had a perfect way with words.
****************************************************************************************
When I woke up Edward was sleeping peacefully on the couch. I looked down to Sophie and she was snuggled up to me, lying on me with her head over my heart.
Edward told me the first time she did that, that it was calming to the baby to hear the mothers heartbeat.
I looked back to Edward and giggled. His mouth was slightly open and his breathing was even as his chest moved up and down.
I picked Sophie up gently and layed her down on Edwards chest. She didnt even wake up, nor did he.
I sighed and walked up stairs. Tonight I had a show that was going to be live on t.v.
Great. Sike.
I slipped on some black skinny jeans, a black and pink skull metal mulisha strapless top, and some black and pink converse. (Outfit is on profile because it looks cool!)
After I laced up my converse I grabbed my keys and headed downstairs. When I hit the front door a velvety voice stopped me.
"You look beautiful."
I didnt look his way, I only glanced at him through the corner of my eye. He was still lying down with a sleeping baby Sophie on his chest.
"I'll be home later." I said bluntly and walked out the door, locking it on my way.
One tear drop fell as I walked to my car, I quickly wiped it away and slid in.
Once I got to the megaplex, where I was preforming, I was all teary eyed.
"Look, you need to get cheered up." Gerome our stage choreographer chassled.
"Ger its kinda hard." I laughed shakily and wiped a few more tears a way.
"The world is full of love!" He sang out loud and danced in a circle. I barked out a laugh.
"Thanks, you making a fool out of yourself is what I really needed." I chuckled and patted his shoulder.
"Your welcome." He said sarcastically.
"Now, get going." He pushed my lightly in the way of the stage.
I went up to the front of the stage and did my thing.
I wished Edward were here, cheering me on. My confidence has been let down a few notches.
I know that he couldnt be able to because of Sophie, which I dont mind.
But if he could be, would he be here? Does he hate me for not believing him? I gave him all the trust in the world. Strangely I still do trust him. Does he trust me?
I swallowed thickly and began.
Don't
try to explain your mind One
word turns into a war Both hands, tied behind my back
with nothing I never meant to start a
war Why does love always feel like a battlefield Can't swallow our pride Both hands tied behind my back with nothing I never meant to start a war Why
does love always feel like a battlefield I guess you better go and get your
armor We could pretend that we are
friends tonight A battlefield, a
battlefield, a battlefield I guess you better
go and get your armor I never meant to start a war Why does love always feel like
a battlefield I
guess you better go and get your armor Why does love always feel like? I
never meant to start a war
I know what's happening here
One
minute it's love
And suddenly it's like a battlefield
Why is it the smallest things that tear us
down?
My world's nothing when you don't
I'm not here without a
shield
Can't go back now
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall
again
Why we gotta fall for it now
You know I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're
fighting for
A
battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a
battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love always
feel like
Neither of us wanna raise
that flag
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose
What we
had, oh no
Oh
no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
I don't wanna
fall for it now
You know I
never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting for
A battlefield, a
battlefield?
Why does love always feel like a battlefield
A
battlefield, a battlefield?
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess you better go
and get your armor
(Get your armor)
Get your armor
I guess
you better go and get your
(Oh, oh, oh)
And in the morning we'll wake up
and we'll be alright
'Cause baby, we don't have to fight
And I
don't want this love to feel like
Why does love always feel like a
battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield
You know
I never wanna hurt you
Don't even know what we're fighting
for
(Fighting, fighting for)
A battlefield, a battlefield?
Why does love
always feel like a battlefield
A battlefield, a battlefield?
(Get your armor)
Get
your armor
I guess you better go and get your armor
(Get your
armor)
Get your armor
Why
does love always feel like?
A battlefield, a battlefield
Don't even know what we're fighting
for
I never meant to start a war
Don't even know what we're
fighting for
After few more songs I was in the middle of a chorus for CrushCrushCrush when suddenly I was yanked off stage by 3 huge body guards.
"Bella! Are you alright?!?!" Thats all I heard. And I couldnt make any sense of it.
I looked back to the stage and gasped in horror. It was covered in fire! The billboard that had the megaplexes name on it fell on the stage and it was on effin fire!
"Oh my god!" I stuttered coughing on the smoke that was clouding the air
"Bella!" Gerome got my attention.
"Are you alright?" He asked frantic.
"Y-yeah." I said and ran a hand through my hair. He pulled me outside while people filed out and firemen came in.
We were waiting outside all my fans about 10 feet away.
"God." I stressed.
"I think you should head home, theres no way this show is going to get finished." He laughed.
"Mmmk." I nodded.
"Do you need someone to drive you home? Or I could you just have to let me call my wife..."
"NO! No dont waste your time here. Head home, see the kids, etc. I can drive home." I scoffed. He patted my back and walked away.
"Im sorry!" I appologized to my fans and slid in my car. There was only one place I wanted to be right now. Home, with my husband and daughter.
The drive home was rough, I was shaking rapidly and there was traffic lined up for miles because of the ambulances.
I looked around for my phone, I knew Edward was watching and he was probably flipping out.
Or maybe he wasnt...
When I pulled in the driveway I swear every light in the house was on. When I got out I hissed in pain.
My back was hurting like hell!
I opened the door which was unlocked.
I only got one foot inside the door before I was wrapped tightly in two big strong warm arms. That electric shock was well to say the least; shocking.
But he was holding me to hard and I hissed out a profanity.
"What is it? Are you hurt? Whats wrong love?" Edward asked franticaly. I didnt get a chance to answer him because my name was being screamed from outside.
I looked outside and saw a frantic Alice and Rose running towards me.
"Bella!" They shouted in unision and hugged me tightly. It didnt hurt my back because they hugegd me around my shoulders and they didnt hurt my heart either...
"Are you ok?" Jasper asked worridly.
"Yes!" I said exasperated. They all walked with me back inside. They were only like two feet away.
I sat down on the love seat and clenched my jaw at the pain in my back. Edward sat next to me and stared at me anxiously along with the others.
"What?" I asked.
"What happened?" Emmett asked.
"I dont know. I was singing and then I was being pulled off stage by three huge body guards. I look back and the whole stage is on fire, everybody was screaming." I laughed slightly.
"We were watching and you just got yanked off stage, we thought you were getting kidnapped." Emmett chuckled. Edward shot him a dark glare.
"Hardy har har." Rose said and smacked his head hard.
"Ouch babe it was just a joke." He said and balanced a twin on each knee.
"Bells you could so sue." Jasper laughed cradling a sleeping Claire.
"Not thinking about that right now." I scolded laughing.
The phone started ringing and Edward answered it.
"Charlie calm down shes sitting right here. I will let you talk to her."
"Charlie." He said bluntly.
"Hey dad." I said uneasily.
"BELLA! Are you alright?!?!?!"
"Im fine daddy." I laughed.
"God Bells. I was just watching you on t.v. and bam! You were replaced with fire on the stage!" He said exasperated.
"Im fine. Everything is ok, my back kinda hurts but thats all." I said. Everybodys gaze snapped back to me and I rolled my eyes and walked out the room.
After a ten minute conversation trying to tell my dad that I was fine and heathly I went back into the living room.
I picked Sophie who was now sitting on my seat and placed her my lap playing with her hair.
"What?!" I asked everybody who was staring at me.
"Where does your back hurt?" Edward asked.
"In the middle, but I think it was just where one of the guys grabbed me."
He gave me a look that said 'That better be the only place they grabbed you.'
"Let me see it." He said. I sighed and lifted up my shirt for him to see my back.
"Damnit theres a huge bruise back here baby." He sighed.
"How huge?" I asked and pulled my shirt back down.
"About the size of my hand." He muttered unhappily.
"A bruise is better than her burning alive right?" Emmett asked earning a smack from Jasper.
"Yes Emmett it is!" Edward said jaw clenched. He leaned back on the love seat pinching the bridge of his nose.
He always did that when he was frustrated or angry. It was cute.
We all talked for another half hour until all the babies fell alseep then they decided to leave.
"Love the outfit by the way." Rose said and Alice nodded her head eagerly agreeing.
"Thanks." I laughed and shut the door as they walked back out.
I turned around and sighed sitting back down on the couch. Edward stood in front of me.
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"Sticky."
He chuckled slightly.
"Are you hungry?"
"No, my stomach is a little upset." He nodded sadly.
"Why dont you go take a hot shower? I'll put Sophie to bed." He said.
"That sounds good." I sighed and walked upstairs. He followed behind me with Sophie. As he turned into Sophies room I stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. He turned to me with his poker face on.
"Thank you." I whispered.
"I already told you I would do anything for you." He chuckled.
I nodded and walked into our bathroom.
After my shower I slipped on my black nightgown, not caring what I wore. I was so worn out. Not exactly tired but just, ugh I dont know. Nevermind...
My back wasnt hurting right now, the hot shower helped. A lot.
I walked back out into the room still drying my hair. Edward was lying on the bed propped up against the headboared staring at me intensly. I ignored his stare and threw the towel in the dirty clothes.
I sat on the bed leaning against the headboard as well.
I sighed and grabbed Wuthering Heights from the table next to my side of the bed. I bent my knees up and rested it on them.
Edward turned back to the t.v and watched Nick at night. We had a secret fetish for it...
I read 5 chapters then put it back on table and slid under the covers.
Edward flicked the lights off and did the same. We both watched the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
I giggled at it. It was one of my favorites. The one where they get an offer on their mansion, and all the flashbacks happen.
After it was over Edward turned the t.v off and turned over facing me. He scooted down to my level and stared into my eyes for what seemed like eternity.
"You really scared me tonight." He said softly. I saw something shiny run down his cheek and onto his pillow.
He's never cried in front of me before.
"I thought I could've lost you." His voice broke at the end and he brushed some hair from my face.
I choked up myself. I've never seen Edward so vulnerable, hes always been tough enough for the both of us.
I think he met his breaking point.
I scooted over and rested my head on his chest. He wrapped both strong arms around me and let the tears flow.
He buried his head in my hair and tightened his grip on me.
I think this is the tightest hes ever held me before. I wont complain, my back wasnt hurting and he's only touched me once in almost three weeks.
I cant handle it anymore. His eyes say everything. If I wasnt so stupid and blind I would've believed him in the first place!
"I love you so much Bella. More than anything. I never meant for any of this to happen. Im so sorry." He appologized over and over again.
"Shh. I know you love me. And you know I love you too. More than anything." I said softly and wiped the tears off his face.
We layed there for awhile not being able to sleep. His grip never loosened on me, but now my back was starting to ache, I winced when he shifted slightly.
He took his arms off me.
"Sorry." He said sheepishly.
"Its fine." I breathed.
His hands traveled to the hem of my nightgown and lifted it up till it was just over my belly button.
He looked at me to see if I would object. I just closed my eyes and leaned into him.
His hands went under my nightgown and massaged my back gently. I wrapped my arms around his waist and held him to me.
His fingers traveled to the bruise and he traced it with his fingertips.
He massaged my back until I fell asleep, and probably a while after that.
I didn't mind. Not one bit. I absolutely loved the feeling of his big strong soft hands on me.
Phew! Dont kill me...
Did you guys seriously think I wouldnt make them get back together?! Lol. I couldnt handle that, I would virtually stab myself before any of you got the chance to.
Anyways....
Review!
Its the weekend so hopefully more updates. Im not sure, I try to do my best.
Please and Thank you!
-Polka-dots-4-infinity!!
P.s. I dont own twilight or any of the songs! They belong to the rightful owners! Thx.