Author's Note: Happy Halloween! This chapter is long, but I decided to put the reconciliations all together, and have the next chapter be the wedding. Sorry for the delay in posting, but I had story issues to work out – stay tuned!
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jarrod walked into the room, as Edwina and an unknown man regarded him with puzzled stares. He noticed the resemblance between the two, and deduced that the young man must be Darcy Randolph, Edwina's cousin. Pushing down the memory of their mutual cousin, Brent St. Claire, who shared the family traits, he strode into the room.
"Jarrod! Hello!" Edwina's eyes widened as she saw him standing there, and tensed up. Darcy felt the change in her, and heard the intake of her breath; he put his hand on her arm, as he moved slightly in front of her. Jarrod noticed the actions and realized that she was afraid of what he might do. The thought saddened him, and made him wish yet again that he could take back his behavior from the afternoon a month ago.
"Hello Edwina! You look wonderful!" He announced, meaning every word of it. She was dressed in a pale pink dress frothy with white lace, while her gold hair was elaborately done and finished with some soft curls. Jarrod somehow wasn't surprised that she was wearing pink, as he thought back to the time he'd seen her in the city, and the pink roses that Nick had ordered. Now though the knowledge didn't sting, and he could smile at her, albeit sadly.
"You must be Darcy Randolph! I'm very pleased to meet you!" Jarrod walked up to the man, and held out his hand. He noticed that the young man took it very slowly, while taking measure of Jarrod. It all happened quickly, and when he felt Darcy's firm hand shake in reply, he knew he must have passed muster.
"Mr. Barkley, it is an honor to meet you!" Darcy decided to err on the side of formalness. Yes, he might have been running the man's law practice for the last month, but it had not been with Jarrod's consent. He studied the man, and saw someone who was upright and honest, but Darcy also understood how emotions could derail the best of men. Returning the handshake, he hoped he was right in his assessment.
"Please, call me Jarrod! Since we are now working together I think Mr. Barkley is too formal! I had planned on talking to you anyway, about the practice. I've been very impressed with your work so far; maybe later today we could talk?" Jarrod made it a point to be extra cordial, knowing that if not for Darcy's skill, Eleanor McGhee would have lost her land. He had been aware for a while that he could use a partner, because it was getting to be too hard to be in three places at once. Darcy came pre-approved so to speak, which would make it all easy – he hoped.
"Yes, Mr. ah Jarrod, I would enjoy the chance to talk to you about matters." Darcy replied with a satisfied smile, glad that Jarrod wasn't going to chuck him out on the street. Since Darcy wanted to stay in California, he was relieved at the response Jarrod had given him.
"Darcy, I'd like to talk to Edwina privately, if you don't mind?" Jarrod asked slowly, going on "I promise not to hold up the wedding ceremony." He had seen how protective Darcy was of his cousin, and for the second time that morning he had to wonder at how everyone else viewed Edwina. They all seemed to protect and cosset her, like some hothouse flower – which in his opinion she wasn't in the least.
However, he was aware that he'd never seen the real Edwina, only his illusion of her, which fit his fantasy. Inwardly sighing, he suddenly saw the high hurdles he would have to climb, to get to know her. It came to him that giving up his dream was going to be hard, because he had lived with it for over two years.
"Darcy, it will be all right!" Edwina had felt very comforted, at having Darcy with her when Jarrod came into the room. It touched her that her cousin was willing to stand up for her, even against the man who could kill his future in California. Jarrod though seemed to really want to make amends, and the fact that he'd come down for the wedding showed that. Darcy excused himself, with the comment that he would be outside. Once the door shut behind him, Jarrod and Edwina faced each other, suddenly at a loss for words.
"Thank you for coming Jarrod – it will mean everything to Nick!" She decided to break the stalemate. "Where have you been? You look like you were in the sun." Edwina was too polite to say that he looked healthier than when she'd seen him last.
"Actually I spent a couple of weeks working on a cottage I own, on one of the islands off of the coast." He replied, and went on to tell her a few details about the place. At the back of his mind he knew that it was just small talk, to cover the awkwardness between them.
"You will have to tell Darcy about the island; he is quite the sailor! He has lots of experience in the tidewater, and around Charleston. Since he's been staying with me, he's taken the small sail boat from the boathouse out several times a week, to explore the river here.
Jarrod remembered that Darcy had graduated from William & Mary in Williamsburg, Virginia, where the tidewater was. He had assumed that since he was Edwina's cousin he was from South Carolina, like she was. A thought came to him, and he asked "Exactly how is Darcy cousin to you – and Brent?" Jarrod was never going to forget the man who had caused his house of cards to crash down.
"Darcy and I are first cousins; his mother was my father's sister who married a man from Virginia. My aunt and Darcy were visiting when war broke out, and Uncle Jeff thought it would be safer for them in South Carolina, than their place in the tidewater. They live very close to the opening to the Atlantic Ocean, and there was a great fear of invasion." Edwina explained. "Brent was our second cousin, as was Charles, my late husband. Brent and Charles were also second cousins, but related differently than I was with them. The blood lines are complicated." She left it at that, not wanting to explain how everyone in her old world was related. Instead she redirected his thought process.
"What about Darcy? Are you all right with him? He is very smart, but still young; however he knows a lot of maritime law as well as colonial land grants." Edwina stated, being concerned about Jarrod's reaction to her cousin, especially if he was referencing Brent St. Claire
"I think the valley could use another lawyer, especially one who understands maritime matters. There is also the fact that, as my dear brother Nick has pointed out to me, I need decent help in my practice. I can't be in three places at once, after all!" Jarrod declared, hoping that Darcy would want to stay on with him. Edwina's answer cheered him greatly.
"Thank goodness! Ah, there is something you need to know, Jarrod." She paused, and with a small chuckle went on. "He and your sister are very smitten with each other! They actually met in the rail yard in San Francisco." Edwina left it at that, but was reassured when he laughed.
"Compared to the other young men my sister has attracted, Darcy seems to be head and shoulders above any of them. I will keep my fingers crossed that she doesn't botch the whole thing!" He shook his head, and then asked "My mother likes him, right?" Jarrod figured that if Victoria was onboard with it, he didn't have anything to worry about. Edwina nodded her head, and he noticed that she looked much more at ease, than when he'd first walked into the room. Figuring that it was time he got down to what he came to do, he squared his shoulders.
"Would you mind taking a couple more minutes, so we could talk about what happened with us?" Jarrod inquired carefully, as he remembered the comment she made when he'd come into the room. "You said that my coming will mean everything to Nick? That matters to you, doesn't it? That Nick is happy?" He had been aware that she had not said anything about her feelings, regarding him being at the wedding.
"Jarrod, I never wanted to come between you and Nick! If I had known that 'Nate Billings' was your brother, I would never have gone out with you!" Edwina replied sadly, going on. "It was wrong of me to go out with you anyway, and I never should have done it!" The anguish in her voice was apparent, and Jarrod saw the sorrow that she felt. He bowed his head because she really wasn't the one at fault here.
"Edwina, you didn't come between Nick and me! I did that myself, with my reaction to what happened that afternoon with Brent!" Jarrod took a deep breath. "I was so wrapped up in my allusion of you – and our relationship- that I never really saw you for the person that you were. When my mother set up the whole thing, I went along with it because I wanted you. That was the reason why I offered you the job, that long time ago in Carson City! Yes, it was partially because of your legal skills, but mostly it was because you were a beautiful woman that I wanted to be with."
Confessing that was one of the hardest things Jarrod had ever done, but he knew that he had to be honest with her. If they were to start over again, it had to be with a clean slate – no illusions allowed. He had used her knowledge to help him, even as he was admiring her beauty; at no point had he ever thought about Edwina as a person in her own right.
"Jarrod, you weren't the only one who wasn't operating honestly! I went out with you because you were the kind of man my parents would have approved of! A rising star with a great political future – everyone told me that you would be Governor one day." Edwina sighed, and remembered all thoughts she'd had, when she had considered a future with him.
"You were kind, charming, and good looking! I knew that my mother would have thoroughly approved of you, and there was the matter of Eliza too." Here Edwina paused, as she gave Jarrod a sad look. "I felt so bad that she had not had any kind of real home, and she wasn't getting any younger either. You seemed like a safe solution to everything. However, it wasn't a solution for you or me; rather it would have deepened our sense loneliness." She hoped he understood what she was trying to say, and his reply gave her a sense of peace.
"Edwina, I do understand now – why you went out with me, and why you met Nick at the River Queen like you did." Jarrod took in the beautiful woman standing in front of him, all pink, white, and gold. She still had the ability to thrill him, and he had no problems imaging her as an exquisite southern belle, dressed in a ruffled hoop skirt and gold ringlets.
He'd seen the picture, in the hallway of the house in Carson City, of her family before the war. His brother had been there and had met her in that world – a time now gone with the wind and only remembered in stories. Yes, if he'd been Nick and seeing her again after all those years, he would have moved heaven and hell to meet with her too.
"I want you to know that I truly appreciate what you just said Jarrod! Thank you!" Edwina sighed, as she regarded the man standing in front of her. There was still a pressing matter that needed to be addressed. "Have you talked to Nick?" She inquired carefully.
"Not yet, because I wanted to talk to you first, and square things between us. I would like to start over again, as your friend and brother-in-law, if you will let me." Jarrod replied, and watched as she tilted her head in response to him.
"Can I ask what has brought all this on? The change of heart? The last we heard from you, it was all anger and hate?" Edwina asked, and waited for his answer.
"I saw what a damn fool – pardon my language – I had been, about you and Nick! You two love each other, and understand each other; something that we never achieved Edwina!" Jarrod stated honestly, as he smiled at his next statement. "I've met someone, and she is very special! She knows all about our relationship, and won't have anything to do with me, until I make peace with you." He decided to tell her the truth, because Jarrod was pretty sure that Edwina and Madeline would compare notes at some future date.
"Oh, Jarrod I am so happy for you! Did you bring her to the wedding?" Edwina reached over and touched his arm, and he laughed at her response.
"No, I needed to come down here by myself, but you'll get to meet her in Sacramento at the State Fair!" Jarrod answered with pleasure, thinking about Madeline on his arm.
"Well then I will look forward to meeting her – I warn you though." Edwina giggled, as she patted Jarrod's arm. "She needs to be good to you, because you deserve someone special!" She meant every word she said, and he was touched by her concern for him, even as he found the giggling slightly off-putting.
"Yes, I recall you saying I needed someone who was going to love me whole heartedly!" He replied, and then regarded her closely. "Are we all right? Is there anything else you want to say? Or ask?" Jarrod wanted to make sure that nothing was lingering under the surface, to come out later.
"Jarrod, we are good, but there is still Nick. Please, go talk to him!" Edwina declared, wanting everything sorted out before the ceremony. "I can wait, so you two can talk." She knew that Nick was going to be over the moon about Jarrod – both his being here, and his change of heart. Edwina said a silent prayer of thanks to the Lord, and the woman that Jarrod had met. It sounded like she was strong, and honorable, which is what the man needed.
He agreed with her statement, and giving her a light hug, went out to find his brother. Jarrod hoped that Nick would be as forgiving as Edwina and Victoria said he would be. He also felt like the pain in his heart had receded some, and he knew that with time it would fade completely. Madeline had been right, Jarrod saw, to have him come down alone, to face Edwina. There were still feelings there, which he had tried to deny, but she wasn't going to let him do that. However, Jarrod could clearly see his path ahead, and with Madeline's help would find his way.
The Vestry
"Now what makes you think we're going to stay in the bedroom?" His dark haired brother answered Heath eagerly, thinking about the hot spring just outside the master bedroom. Heath was relieved when Reverend Peterson came into the room, which saved him from trying to come up with a reply.
"Gentlemen, I think we are ready to start." Mark Peterson stated, and then asked. "Heath do you have the ring?" It was more rhetorical than anything else, since he knew how reliable the blond haired young man was.
"Reverend Tom, yes I have the ring, and my brother is more than ready to be married!" Heath declared, wanting to get Nick off to the lodge. The man had spent the last three weeks, since being back from roundup being a pain the rear end – and that was putting it politely. He knew all about stallions wanting to mate, and Nick had displayed the same traits. Heath gave Edwina high marks for controlling the man as well as she had, while privately hoping she was rested up for after the wedding. Of course he could relate, because he was looking forward to his honeymoon with Melissa; though they were just more understated.
"Shall we join hand and pray, for God' blessing on this union?" Mark Peterson intoned, and the three men joined hands. Just as they did so though, a knock on the vestry room door interrupted them. They all looked at each other questionly, before they turned to face the door. Nick, never being one to shirk anything strode up and opened it, wanting to know who was there.
"Hello Nick." Jarrod was taken aback to have the door flung open so forcefully, as his brother stood there in a well tailored dark suit. Nick looked happy, and pleased, and for one second Jarrod was envious of the man. He was marrying the love of his life – the same woman that Jarrod had been recently in love with; he now acknowledged to himself what he had suspected when he'd been talking to Edwina, that there were some residual feelings there. When he had embarked on the journey to Stockton, he had assumed that facing Edwina would be the hardest, but now it came to him that Nick was going to the stonewall he would have to scale. It was made twice as hard because Jarrod knew that he had built the barrier between them.
"Jarrod! It is so good to see you!" Nick saw his brother standing there, and reached out to hug him, as he grinned with pleasure! He had wanted to have both his brothers with him, but had been willing to sacrifice his wish. Jarrod, for his part was swept off his feet, as Nick held him in his warm embrace. Their mother's comment, from her letter, about Nick wanting him at his wedding came to mind.
"Well it is good to see you too!" Jarrod answered, looking up at Nick with love. They had gone through so much together, since their father had died. He realized how much he had missed his brother, the last month.
"Pappy, you decided to come! Thank you!" Nick declared, hugging Jarrod with great fervor! He hoped that his brother being here meant that he had come to terms with everything that had happened. He stepped back, suddenly being aware that his exuberance might be more than his formal brother could deal with. Nick was a tactile, hands on person, but he knew that people weren't always comfortable with his mannerisms. It was one of the many things that he loved about Teddy, that she enjoyed his attentions to her.
"Brother Nick; as if I would let you get married without me!" Jarrod understood the concern his brother was feeling, knowing Nick very well. "Heath, did you give him a proper bachelor party?" He turned to their younger brother, to offset the awkwardness of the meeting.
"Jarrod, we did! It is good to see you!" Heath answered, not wanting to explain that Nick had wanted to be in good shape for his honeymoon. He had noticed that Jarrod looked trim, fit, and slightly tanned – very different than the last time he had seen him, which was spread out on the floor of the study. "Where have you been? You look good." Heath added, and Nick agreed.
The next several minutes were spent with Jarrod telling them about the island, and the cottage there, even mentioning his plan to buy a boat next year. Nick and Heath asked questions about the work Jarrod had done on the property, as they kidded him about his not so lily white hands. They all knew that it was just small talk, but it felt good to be together again.
"Nick, could we talk privately? I won't keep you too long." Jarrod asked, carefully and slowly, as the Reverend and Heath exchanged looks. Nick regarded his older brother solemnly, as he nodded his head.
"Heath, would you mind explaining to Teddy about the delay." Nick stated, before he turned to Tom Peterson. "Reverend, will it be all right if the ceremony is slightly late?" Before the minister could reply though, Jarrod stepped in.
"I've already spoken with Edwina, Nick. She knows that I am here to talk to you, and will understand about the delay." Jarrod put it out there, wanting his brother to know that things were square with her. He was relieved to see Nick smile, and then he waited, while the Heath and the Reverend excused themselves.
Once they were gone, Jarrod and Nick both felt a sense of awkward tension, as they faced each other in the small room. Sunlight was coming through the window, causing a patch of sunshine to show on the floor, between the two men. Dust motes were slightly illuminated by the bright rays, and to Jarrod it represented the light that had come into his heart, after the darkness that he had cast himself into. The thought gave him courage, and he moved forward.
"I spoke to Edwina before I came to see you Nick. I apologized for my actions and my words to her, on the afternoon when I found out about everything." Jarrod took a deep breath, knowing what he said next would be the hard part. "I now want to apologize for what I said to you, about how you met with her at the River Queen." He cringed as he remembered the comments he had made to Nick, about him and Edwina. It came to him that his brother had exercised a great deal of self-control that night, in not beating the daylights out of him.
Nick saw the grimace on Jarrod's face, as he remembered that evening when they had faced each other in the study. He could still hear the hurt, and anger in Jarrod's voice, as he had hurled the insults and taunts. His mother's request, for Nick to wait to talk to his brother was in the forefront of his mind, as he replayed the evening in his mind. Looking at Jarrod now he could see the lingering pain, and shame that his older brother was feeling, and all he wanted to do was make it go away.
"Jarrod, don't worry about apologizing! You weren't yourself, and I knew it." Nick reached out his hand and clasped Jarrod's arm. "I should have waited and talked to you the next day, instead of forcing it that night." He could tell by the look in his older brother's eyes that the man understood what he was trying to do.
"Thank you for that, Nick, but I have to be honest; I was so wound up that night I would have come after you, if you hadn't come to me." Jarrod replied, and then looked into Nick's hazel eyes. "Thank you too for not beating me to a pulp, which is what I deserved." Thinking about what he'd said about Edwina that night, and how he had sworn to never forgive Nick, he was awed by how mangimous his brother was being.
"Well now, I do know a thing or two about being hot headed and fired up!" Nick retorted, almost snorting. The comment made Jarrod chuckle, as he thought about some of Nick's past deeds. Yes, he mused, his brother was quick to react, but also quick to forgive. Now Jarrod said a silent prayer of thanks for that trait.
"I've already asked Edwina if we can start over again, and I can get to know her as a friend, and my sister-in-law." Jarrod paused here, for a moment. "Will you give me the same chance with her?" He knew his brother's possessive streak all too well, and didn't want to set up a situation that was going to have Nick fired up every time he talked to the man's wife. Nick understood what Jarrod was asking, and remembered how concerned Teddy had been about his brother, and his law practice.
"Yes, I think you need to get to know her!" Nick responded with a smile, before he turned serious. "However, she is not going back to work for you, ok?" He figured that if Darcy wasn't enough, then Jarrod could hire someone else.
"Actually, it sounds like Darcy is doing a pretty good job, and if he stays on, I will have him help me hire a secretary." Jarrod was more than willing to concede to Nick's request, about Edwina not working in the office. He also admitted to himself that hiring had never been his forte, and that someone else's input would be a good thing.
"Huh, the guy, and our sister, has been afraid that you were going to throw him out of the office, after you turned up!" Nick declared, as he went on. "Actually, Audra has been helping out in the office because." He stopped because he didn't want to state the real reason why Darcy had needed Audra, because Nick had put his foot down about Teddy.
"Audra has been helping out because I pretty much banned Edwina from doing anything – cutting off my nose to spite my face!" Jarrod decided to rescue his brother, being very clear at how everything had come about. He knew that Nick always wanted the last word, and in this case he had earned it. Jarrod could never have Edwina's heart – that had been given to his brother long ago – and now he had the grace to understand everything.
Only one small part of him wished he had someone to be as possessive with, as Nick was with Edwina. Jarrod hoped that he would get to the same place with Madeline, that of love, honor and desire, that Nick was with Edwina. Jarrod though knew that heaven wasn't built overnight, and anything worthwhile took time. He had come to Stockton, both to be with his brother when he married, and to make peace with Edwina. Madeline had made it clear that she had no interest in dealing with ghosts, or past infatuations, because she cared about him.
"Are you ready to get on with the wedding? Or do we need to talk more?" Jarrod smiled at his brother warmly, glad that they had their relationship back. Nick shook his head, as his infectious grin took over his face. Pappy was back, and everything was going to be fine, was how he saw the world.
"No, I think we've cleared the air!" Nick stated, and then thinking about the lodge added "Let's get on with the wedding!" He decided to be tactful and not state what he really wanted to get on with. Jarrod slapped him on the back, and they headed out into the church, to find Heath – brothers once again.