Christine dans Deux
An Alternate Multiverse - A Phantom of the Opera Story
Nyasia A. Maire
© 2006
DISCLAIMER: See Chapter One
Chapter Thirty-Six – Just Friends
My walk to Christine's room is all too brief and I find myself standing before her door with only a partially formed plan in my mind. My hand rises on it own and knocks on her door. A muffled voice from within the room bids me enter. I open the door and enter the room.
The vision reclining before me on the divan is resplendent in pink from the gown she wears to the color of her cheeks and lips. She radiates a peace I have never felt from her before, not even when she lived in the opera dormitories.
"Erik! Come in! I am so glad to see you. I did not wish to disturb you, but I have so wished to speak with you. How is your lady? She did a miraculous thing yesterday. I am forever grateful to her for helping me. I hope she does not suffer any ill effects."
I smile at the kindness and concern I hear in her voice and see in her eyes. My father's rumors seem to be true ones.
"She rests now. Your encounter taxed her greatly, but she assures me there will be no lasting ill effects. However, I am uncertain as to what exactly happened here. Her strength faded so suddenly I had not asked and she had not offered an explanation. She sleeps deeply now. When she shall awaken I do not know. Can you explain what transpired here?"
Her eyes cloud with concern and yet, I feel none of the anger or unhappiness evident to me since our first encounter on the train. She stands, walks to me, embraces me, releases me then turns away to look out the window.
"I am sorry, but I cannot explain any better than to say this. Your lady has a gift. She took away all the hurt from my soul. It seemed I awoke from a walking nightmare of anger, sorrow and pain. The nightmare that began on the rooftop of the opera house when Raoul attacked me. The night I lost my maidenhead to his rape. The nightmare lifted briefly when you tried to free me. The night I made the choice to become his wife to save your life, the nightmare consumed me. I have not been truly free of its grasps ever since. Please, Erik, do not feel guilt over my choice. I could not bare the thought of any more deaths that night, especially not if I could prevent it. Too many innocents died that night. All those deaths laid at my feet, my cowardly feet. He is to blame! Not you! Not me! He made his choices and he will reap the harvest of what he has sown when he stands before God on his judgment day."
"I feel reborn. I remember everything that has happened to me, but the pain of it touches me no longer. It cannot hurt me any longer or maybe I should say the pain is gone. I am sorry that I cannot explain any better. Your good lady took away my sorrow and gave me peace. I am happy and free. When she awakes and has a moment, would you convey to her my thanks and my request to see her?"
"Of course. I am certain she will wish to see you as well."
"Thank you, Erik. For everything. You are a true friend. The truest friend anyone could ever have."
"Silly Christine, do not thank me for my friendship. You offered me your friendship when no other would, so we can spend hours thanking one another for something that we each gave freely or just accept that it is simply the way of friends. I believe we should accept and move on."
"Friendship accepted monsieur."
"Yes, Madame, friendship accepted indeed."
I take a deep breath before I begin to broach the subject of her husband.
"Christine …."
"Yes, Erik. I know what it is that we need to discuss. May I tell you what I would like to do first? And if you have any counsel, you may offer it when I finish?"
"Why certainly. After all ladies first."
"I have spent the last few hours thinking and would like to make a request of your father. Do you think he would allow me to stay here for a time? I am very aware he has no obligation to help me, but he seems like a kind man. Due to my uncertain marital status, I seek a place of residence for my brood. Regarding my children, their births and the hope of their love have been what sustained me through the years. However as the years passed, all of my hopes for them lay dashed upon the floor one after another. Raoul never allowed me much contact with them. After their births, he hired a wet nurse for them. Then he hired whatever their age required be it nanny or governess. The truth of it and I would never admit it before now is I do not know these children. When I think of them, I feel numb. I know I gave them life, but Raoul made sure I would never be their mother. I feel more for my dear little Erik whom has been a part of my life for mere hours than I feel for all of the others combined. Do not mistake my wishes regarding them though, if I were allowed a chance to become their mother, I would gladly take that chance."
"Which brings me to the next request would he allow me to keep Erik with me? I will not lose this child to Raoul! I know when God calls each of us before his throne, he judges us accordingly. Yet, I know that if I allow Raoul to take this child, I am equally guilty of corrupting another innocent life. I must try to save Erik. It would be a mortal sin to turn over this innocent life to Raoul when I can save him. All I have to do is forsake my pride and for this child I do it gladly. And I must make a confession to you. While your lady relieved me of my pain, she did not leave me a saint. I am not above wishing some pain of Raoul. If he knows he sired a son, a son he cannot see, I can extract some small measure of vengeance on him for the years he forced me to be his wife. I know this is horrible, but I cannot allow him this. He will corrupt this child and make him just as he is."
She turns to me with urgency and takes my hands in hers.
"I will not give him what he most desires! If he pursues me even to the ends of the earth, he shall not have my little boy! I despaired before, as I was powerless to stop him. Your lady has given me the strength to do this. I will bow to him no longer! I can do this!"
Her power and conviction amaze me. The timid child I remember is no more. The beaten, despairing and angry woman I met on the train is gone as well. In their place is a woman sure of herself. In her spirit I see my beloved Christine. Yes, this is the woman from which my love descends. It is a marvelous sight to see.
"You have relieved me of a great burden, lady. I feared I would have to convince you to follow the path upon which your conviction has already set you."
I raise her hands and place a light kiss on the backs of each and release them.
"My father and I offer you any help you require for as long as you require it. My father asked me to inform you that should you wish to remain here, he would be glad of your company. He went so far as to extend his invitation to you and all your children."
As if on cue, my namesake begins to fuss in his bassinet.
Her head turns at the sound and her face becomes radiant and peaceful once more. She hurries to his side and fusses over him. Clucking her tongue and making soft soothing sounds as she checks him.
"You may wish to leave. He has soiled himself." She calls over her shoulder.
"No, lady. If you can brave it so can I."
She laughs.
"There is no stench, monsieur. However, since this is his first time it will not be a pretty sight. So, consider yourself warned!"
"The first is different from the rest? I had no idea, but then I have never had any contact with infants."
She laughs at me as she picks up the baby and carries him to the bed.
"Watch him for a moment. I need to gather the things I need. Besides you two need to become acquainted."
The baby lies on the bed sheet. He looks so small. He is so small, wrinkly and red. He has a fine fuzzy dusting of chestnut brown hair and an odd little numb of a nose. His skin looks three sizes too big. I walk up to him and see dark little eyes gazing up at me. His brown eyes make me catch my breath.
"He has your eyes. How remarkable! He's looking at me! Hello, little one." I catch his hand with my pinkie. His hand is so small. "He has a strong grip. He is so very small … ha! And strong! Will he be all right? Look he cannot reach all the way around my little finger."
Once again she laughs at me.
"He will be fine. He is completely normal for a babe born early. His birth weight is 2.324 660 896 kilograms (5 lbs. 2 oz.) I almost shudder to think how large he would have been if I had borne him full term. Really, Erik, if you ever intend to be a father, you should learn something about babies. You know I think you would make a wonderful father."
She returns with a mysterious bundle of baby things and I relinquish my spot at the bedside.
"Did I tell you that Christine is a widow and she has a seven year old daughter?"
"No … well, you may have told me, but I did not want to hear about her before so you may have and I did not hear it. Have you met her daughter?"
"Yes, she is so beautiful and very exotic with beautiful long black hair, black eyes, her mother's nose and her father's Asian eyes. She has an extremely quick mind that is the thing I most like about her. And, like her mother, the child accepted me as I was. My face did not ever frighten her or her mother. The child was concerned for me. She wanted to know if my face hurt. Her concern for me took my breath away. Her mother and I have Trystin to thank for our transformation. She wanted to know if I was her daddy now. I told her she will only have one daddy, but I can be her papa. The rush of emotion joined our souls and mended our bodies. I know I have told you before and I do not wish to cause you any grief, but they mean the world to me. I hope all of you can become friends."
"You need not worry about that any more. I harbor no jealousy or animosity towards Christine or Trystin. What a lovely name by the way. Trystin, that is. Wait! Did you say her father was Asian? How unusual!"
"Yes."
She casts a quick glance at me and must have seen something in my face or heard something in my voice for she changes the subject.
"So what do we do now? I would like to be legally divorced, not simply a runaway wife. I have no idea how to proceed."
Her hands carry out the task of washing and changing the baby without thought.
"I have no idea either, but I am sure my father has solicitors who can make the necessary arrangements. However, I believe that the legalities are the least of our concerns. The Vicomte is our main concern. We both know how unscrupulous he is. And how conscious he is of social standings. We need to arrange a set of circumstances, which would make him, have to divorce you in order for him to save face. Something so public, so scandalous, so socially unacceptable that nothing not even his money can repair the damage. And conversely, we do not want to destroy your reputation."
I pause. A thought occurs to me. I smile at her.
"Sir, I do not know if I care for that look."
"Madame, there is the tried and true option."
"And just what pray tell may that be?"
"You return to your profession. You return to the opera. You sing, Madame. You sing! Do not be alarmed. I do not suggest we repeat a performance of "Don Juan Triumphant." That would too clearly give us away. I shall have a hand in the musical arrangements, set design and construction."
"And just what opera am I to sing, monsieur?"
"I have no idea. I was hoping you might have heard of something new. Something interesting."
She gasps.
"Oh! You're asking me for advice? And taking my opinion seriously?"
"Christine, I have always taken you … seriously."
"Erik, I do believe you have developed a sense of humor."
"So Christine tells me."
"I am so happy for you. I used to wish that I could fall in love with you just so the sadness would be gone. I hated seeing the sadness in your eyes all of the time. And then one day I realized that was the wrong reason to love someone. That wouldn't be love. It would be pity. You know deserved better than that. So, I wished for you to find someone to love and to love you. My heart soars at the sight of your eyes now. There is no sadness in you now."
"Yes, I know. And I tell the one who removed my sadness that I love her every time I have the opportunity,"
"Wise man."
I give her a mock bow.
"Well, any ideas? For the opera, I mean."
"No. Nothing new or exciting that I have heard. Let me think about it."
"Very well, we will have to leave it at that for the moment. Now, Christine, my friend we have one other topic to discuss. Do we not?"
Her task of diapering the baby complete, she turns to me.
"Sir, whatever do you mean?"
"The subject of your heart. You do realize there is a man to whom you're singing and the gossip associated with it would mean nothing. A man who does not care what others think. One who fell in love with you the night you sang Don Juan Triumphant. This is the subject we need to discuss."
"And just who is this paragon of virtue and love?"
"You already know, Christine. I am most certain that if my lady were here she would know how you feel about him, but then again, she most likely would not tell. She does not use her gifts to pry, just to heal. Why is it that you are feigning ignorance?"
"I am not free to do as my heart wishes. I took vows and whether my husband honors them or not. I will not betray them. I cannot become involved with anyone else until I am truly free to do so. I will say this much … you are not wrong, Erik. My heart, body, mind and soul burns, but I must wait. I have waited this long. I can wait a little while longer. However, how do we honestly know he truly cares for me? Has your lady sensed it? And if she has, why did she betray the secret of his soul? Why would she do that to him and not me? I need to know, Erik."
"So many questions from a woman who professes no interest. I know because he told me. He fell in love with you the first time he saw you. He was in the audience during Don Juan. After little Erik was born, he asked me about you. He wanted to know what our relationship was. He wanted to know if I was your paramour and the father of your son. I told him that I have been and always shall be your friend. He seemed rather relieved. I could tell he had more questions for me, but I was fatigued and begged off his questions until another time. Christine, I have found true love and recognize the signs. Etienne clearly shows all of the signs. When next you meet with him, listen to your heart. I believe now that your heart is whole and healed; it is a ready vessel for true love. No lies. No secrets. Especially do not lie to yourself. When all is open, it is there. If it has not already."
"I have already admitted to you how I feel for him. How I burn for him and now I know he feels the same for me. Erik, how do you stand it?"
"Stand what?"
"Stand being away from her?"
"Ah! Well, Christine, you must understand something that I never could even begin to fathom before I met my beloved. Love is a circle. Like the ring used to pledge one's troth. It has no beginning. It has no end. Two people in love are never alone. Never. She is with me always. It is a great distraction at times, but only because of my desire for her."
"Never alone. That sounds frightening."
"Christine, there is nothing frightening about love. The only fear I ever have is that some harm may befall her. But her presence in my mind is a comfort not a burden. Once you and Etienne can be together you will see. You will understand and I will rejoice that you have found it just as I."
"Erik, if anyone alive deserves love it is you. I am truly happy for you. Now, since his nibs sleeps I believe I will as well. In the morning please bring Christine here for a visit. I would very much enjoy speaking with her. Good evening, Erik."
"Good evening, Christine."
She gives me a playful wink and hops into bed. I nod and withdraw from the room.