wow. so its been entirely way too long since ive last updated. and im so sincerely sorry for having been on hiatus for so long. ive had a couple rough months and writing was just not working out for me. but i knew i needed to get this chapter done eventually. its definitely not one of the best. but there will be more to come that will hopefully grab your attention much more. thank you all for reviewing and sending me messages reminding me to finish this story and just telling me how much you love it. you reviewers are why i continue this story. i just want to thank you all so much for all your encouragement and praise. you will never understand how much it truly means to me.
anyways, im not gonna sit here and continue to bother you when all you want to do is read this chapter. :) i hope it doesnt disappoint too many of you. but i promise i will be better at updating. just as long as there are still people around who would like to read my udpates. :) thank you again.
Chapter Thirty-Six: My Life Would Suck Without You
Cause we belong together now, yeah
Forever united here somehow, yeah
You got a piece of me
And honestly
My life (my life) would suck (would suck) without you
My Life Would Suck Without You: Kelly Clarkson
In my mind, I'd decided that that night was the night that finally put everything in perspective for me. I was finally able to come to terms with my mother's death. I finally realized that I had everything I ever needed in my life right in front of me. I also realized that I was completely in love with this boy Shane Gray – but I'd already mostly known that.
The intensity of our relationship was brought to our attention last night. I'd finally told Shane exactly how I felt about him, and the good thing is he didn't go running away afterwards. We shared some more words, and sat down together to finish listening to my record. To state it plainly, he was rather impressed with 'how amazing' – his words – I sounded. Hearing him say that to me put the icing on the cake for that day. And although we still have immense sexual tension, as Caity would say, we talked it through last night and decided we wouldn't do anything either of us would find uncomfortable.
That's where it gets tricky though. With him I never feel uncomfortable. To me that spells out trouble for us in refraining from things we would like to do.
I sighed, a chill rippling through my muscles. Every time I even remotely thought about doing stuff with Shane other than kissing a pleasant tingle traveled from my head all the way to my toes.
"Mitch," Caity said shaking me out of my daydream, "come on the bell just rang. It's time to go to lunch."
I nodded gathering up my books quickly.
Caity chuckled at me. "Where was your mind just now?"
I smirked, giving her a goofy smile. "You do not want to know," I laughed following her out of the classroom.
Caity caught on and made a face. It was so easy to bring this up with her now that I found terrorizing her about it more fun than I thought I would. We took a left and continued down the hall to where we usually met up with Nate and Shane. I spotted Shane all the way at the other end of the hallway, my mouth instantly turning up in a smile.
"Who is that he's walking with?" Caitlyn said as soon as another person appeared next to him.
I shrugged, my eyes narrowing to try and get a better look. He was busy talking to his companion to notice Caity and I heading toward him. As we drew closer I was able to see who he was talking too. She was tall, just a little shorter than Shane. Her long legs were rather exposed in a just above knee-length black skirt. She wore a tight white button up shirt, tucked into her waist high skirt. Her long blond hair was perfectly curled draping over her shoulders elegantly.
Her heels clicked loudly, echoing down the hallway. A bell-like laugh emitted from her laughing at something amusing Shane just said. I couldn't help but allow jealously seep through me.
"Who is that?" I echoed Caity.
"Oh her?" questioned Nate popping up on Caity's side. "She's the new senior English teacher. Remember the really pregnant lady that waddled around the hallways? Yeah, she finally had to be put on bed rest last week. She's filling in for the rest of the year."
Shane and his new teacher were almost to us now, still talking animatedly. "She does not look like a teacher," Caity said exactly what was on my mind.
They were right in front of us now. Shane glanced forward and caught us standing there. His face broke out into a smile as his eyes landed on me. My cheeks heated.
"Hey guys," he greeted leaving the pretty blonds side to wrap his arm around my waist. "Hi beautiful," he whispered to me planting a kiss on my hair.
I opened my eyes expecting blondie to be gone, but she was still hovering, smiling at all of us. I didn't know what to make of her yet. Shane noticed her still there and cleared his throat.
"Sorry guys, this is my senior comp teacher, Mrs. Jasper," he said nodding at the blond.
"It's Ms. Jasper," the blond spoke, her smile wider than ever. "Shane's told me all about you three. It's nice to finally meet you." Her eyes lingered on me, looking from Shane to I with a look I could not decipher.
The three of us nodded warily. She was too happy.
No one else said anything, an awkward silence settling over us. "Well, I guess I should head to the office. Need to copy some papers," she said brightly holding up a folder like we all wanted to know what she was doing. "I'll see you in class tomorrow Shane. Nice to meet you three again."
"See yah," he said casually turning us in the direction of the commons.
"So, does anyone else get a weird ass vibe from her?" Nate wondered taking Caity's hand in his.
I snorted. Oh Nate, how I love thee.
"Give her a break guys," laughed Shane. "It's her first week here. She's just out of college too."
We rolled our eyes. "Whatever you say Shane."
"She just is so perky," Caity continued as we walked into the loud commons searching for an open table. "Is she like that in class too?"
Shane steered us to a table against the back wall. "I guess," he shrugged. "She's very enthusiastic about everything."
"How does she already know about us?" I wondered pulling out a chair.
Shane sat down next to me. "She had us write a short paper about ourselves so she could get to know us a little better."
"And you wrote about us? I'm honored," Nate said holding his hand over his heart.
Shane shoved his cousin. "Oh shut up. I just wrote about how I usually spend my time playing music with my cousins and hanging out with my beautiful girlfriend and other girl friend."
I rolled my eyes. "You're so full of yourself," I laughed.
"What?" he joked.
"So anyway," Caity said, "who's ready for rehearsals?"
"What's today?" I wondered opening my brown bag.
"Lines," sighed Nate with a face.
"You're just upset because you suck at memorizing," Shane poked. "Have you memorized your lines for today?"
Nate glared at him. "I think I've honestly had this entire musical memorized after the first week M passed out our scripts," I said nonchalantly.
"Who's full of their selves now?" Shane laughed nudging my side.
I batted my eyes at him playfully. "I'm sorry you can't have as exemplary memorizing skills as me, although I expected more from you. You do write music and memorize those words."
"Someone's a bit rambunctious this morning," Nate stated digging into his spaghetti and meatballs.
"Kill me that I'm actually happy for once in my life Nathaniel," I drawled out.
Caity giggled hiding her smile behind her hand as Nate's glare met her. "It doesn't help that you're so grumpy this morning," she told her glaring boyfriend. She used her fingers to push Nate's frown up into a distorted smile. "Come on baby, what's the glum face for?"
"No, you got to do this one," Shane said reaching across the table to pull one end up. "Why so serious?"
I doubled over in laughter. "Creepy Joker face," I said through my laughter. "Stop it! He legitimately looks like the Joker right now."
Shane settled back into his seat. Nate continued to glare at us, but it was for touching his face instead of actually him being angry with us. He got so touchy feely sometimes that I found it hilarious.
"Natie you know I love you," I said sticking my finger into my open pudding cup. I licked the chocolate goodness off my finger and sighed. Why was chocolate pudding so heavenly?
For some reason Caity busted out laughing. I tilted my head, confused as to why she was laughing so hard. She subtly nodded her head to the right of me. I tilted my head to the other side and caught sight of Shane's clenched jaw. I looked back to her, then to Shane, and back down to my pudding cup and finally put two and two together.
"Oh," I muttered shaking my head at Shane. "Really?"
He grinned easily, brushing my hair off my face. "You do things you don't even realize that drive me crazy," he murmured in my ear.
My shoulders rose with a shudder from his breath on my ear. I turned my face, our eyes locking in an intent gaze. "Would you like some?" I asked flirtatiously, running my finger through the cool dessert holding it up to his mouth.
He shook his head, settling back in to his seat with a laugh.
I giggled and licked my finger again. He continued to shake his head at me. It was almost scary how comfortable I'd become around him. I would never have done that again once he'd called me out on it a month ago. Now here I was, pleasantly teasing Shane Gray during lunch. What had the world come too?
"So friends," I stated bringing Caity and Nate back into the conversation, "how are you?"
"Mitchie I can't remember the last time I've seen you this happy," Caity said smiling.
I shrugged. "It just feels so good to be alive and with such great people."
Shane's hand grazed over my leg under the table, rubbing up and down a little before coming to a rest right above my knee. The heat overwhelmed me for a second. I had to take a minute to straighten out my thoughts.
"I'm just ready for better things to come, and to experience all of life's joys with you three," I smiled looking at each one of them separately.
Caitlyn grinned at me, her big brown eyes full of love and friendship. Nate stuck his tongue out at me but managed to mouth an 'I love you' to make up for it. Shane, well, Shane just stared at me in the way that made it hard for me to breathe.
I moved my eyes away feeling so loved. My eyes caught sight of a running teacher maneuvering through the throng of crowded lunch tables. I watched amusedly as she pushed kids out of her way seemingly on an important mission. She darted through more students making a beeline straight for our table. The other three caught sight of what I was watching, eyes widening like mine.
She reached our table, leaning on it for support as she attempted to catch her breath. The marathon running lady was Millicent, the secretary from the office.
"Is something wrong Millicent?" Shane spoke up reaching out to steady her.
She nodded sucking in a breath of air. She looked at Nate and said, "You're mother, has, gone, into labor."
Nate jumped up forgetting about everything else. "When?"
"Shane's mother just called," she said. "You are excused for the rest of the day."
"What about them?"
She looked between Caitlyn, Shane, and I uncertainty crossing her face. "I'm not sure."
"It's okay," Caity said sadly, tugging on Nate's arm. "It's your mother. You should be there for her."
"You know how I feel about hospitals anyway," I said hoping it would make his decision easier.
"Can Shane at least come?" Nate begged.
"I am his cousin," he added.
"Alright the two of you can go," she said exasperatedly, flinging her hands up. "Get to the office so we can excuse you two." With that she was off, hobbling back towards her little desk in the office.
Once she was gone Nate sighed, his usually calm face suddenly nervous. Caity stood taking his face in her hands. "Nate, breathe. You're mom is going to be alright. She is just having another baby. She's had like three already. Mitchie and I will come right over after schools over."
"Yeah," I jumped in, "as soon as we can we will be right there with you."
He visibly calmed for point two seconds. Shane took that as his cue to try and calm his freaking cousin. "Come on man, let's go to the office and head down there. I think once you are there you will be alright. I was with Mom when she went through all she did with Keavy Rae. If anything Laurie's will be much less painful."
He paled.
"Not helping," I muttered to him.
Caity wrapped her arms around him pressing a light kiss to his cheek. "Go, and text me as soon as the baby's born! I've been waiting for this day forever!"
Her excitement pushed through his nerves, finally smiling. Shane left a kiss on the top of my head. "Text you later. I'm going to go make sure he is okay. I'll be back later for rehearsals though. I love you," he murmured smoothly.
"Go be a little soldier for him, poor Nate is gonna need it. I love you too."
The two of them were speed walking down the hall leaving Caity and I standing, watching their retreat. "Tell her to wait for us to get there!" I yelled at them. They continued waving their hands without turning.
"Well this day definitely just got more interesting," Caity said sitting back down in her chair.
"You could say that again," I laughed resuming our lunches.
To say I was anxious the rest of the day might have been the biggest understatement I ever hypothecated. In class all I could do was stare at the clock watching the hands tick by mirthlessly slow. Even the teacher's felt sluggish today with their droning lectures about things irrelevant about the topics we previously had been discussing. It was going to be even worse mulling through rehearsals without the two of them there.
I checked my phone every second I could without the teacher knowing what I was doing – still no news from Shane. I didn't know whether that was a good sign or not. It didn't help my nerves whatsoever though.
The final bell rang for the day, and I set into the halls quickly finding Caity rushing towards me.
"Any news yet?" she asked me breathlessly.
I shook my head with disappointment. I would have thought she would know something before me. "I hope everything is alright."
"I'm sure it is," she said strongly, grabbing onto my arm. "We should head to rehearsals before M has a fit."
I sighed. "What's today?"
"Dancing," snorted Caitlyn, "should be rather interesting."
The two of us tromped into the auditorium laughing all the way. Many of the other cast members were already scattered around the chairs and stage chatting loudly waiting for M to give them all instructions. Caity and I walked down the slight slope to the front of the stage breaking into one of the groups relaxing there.
"Have you practiced the dance number to 'Dance With Me' yet?" asked Dana Drews, the tall brunette playing the role of one of Courtney's friends.
I pulled my face back, making a pained expression. "Not really," I said truthfully.
She sighed thankfully. "Me either! I'm glad I'm not the only one."
"Hey Mitch, where's Shane at?" Keegan asked walking over from the piano to sit on the edge of the stage next to Grady.
"We can't go on without the star," Grady said dramatically.
I pushed his leg playfully. "Don't be bitter because you don't have the lead role."
"I'm not bitter," he said pushing himself off the stage. "I'm just wondering if he is able to do this."
He took my hands in his and twirled me into his arms. I laughed as he proceeded to do a tango or whatever the hell he was doing. "You should see your face right now," I laughed falling from his hands with immense laughter.
"I'm the best ballroom dancer around!" he exclaimed passionately, holding his hand over his heart.
"You're so full of yourself," I laughed pushing him in the chest.
He grinned. Behind us the doors burst open loudly followed by M charging down the middle aisle towards us. "She looks maaad," Grady whispered from behind me.
I rolled my eyes and glanced to Cait. She shook her head; she had no idea either. "Gather round, gather round," she said waving her arms in front of her.
Everyone who wasn't already at the front of the stage quickly made sure they were there before M arrived at the front. The nervous chatter ceased as she stomped to the front, her robes swinging around her wildly. Up close it was more apparent how livid she was. Her face was bright red, veins sticking up on her neck and forehead. I made a move forward to reach out to her but Grady grabbed my arm thinking better of it.
I settled back waiting for whatever mayhem was about to erupt out of her.
"It seems that the school board made a unanimous addition to our team without speaking about it with me first," she instantly started off. She moved aside and the pretty teacher from earlier edged her way around M.
The blond looked expectantly from M to all the eyes trained on her. Once she figured out that M wasn't going to be introducing her anytime soon she spoke up, "Hey everyone! I'm the new senior English teacher, Ms. Casper. But here I expect everyone to call me Dana. I'm looking forward to meeting you all and getting to know you."
Her blue eyes paused on my face staring longer than usual. I glanced to M who looked ready to pummel the next person that made a wrong move. The auditorium fell silent as we waited for M to speak or someone to speak out against this lunacy.
Finally Grady took the initiate as older cast member and said, "Not to sound rude or anything, but why exactly did they appoint you as an assistant now? We are almost ready for our production. I don't see how adding someone new at the very last minute could make it better."
M's face broke into a proud smile. She whipped her head back around to Dana acting excited to hear the reason behind this misdemeanor.
"What's your name?" Dana asked sweetly stepping forward toward him.
"Grady."
"Well Grady," she said walking right up to us, her eyes trained on his face, "the school directors thought it would be logical to add another person well versed in the theater to the production. It never hurt to have too many people running the show."
I scoffed quietly – that was false.
Dana heard me. "You are Mitchie correct?"
I nodded, not afraid of her.
"Did you have something you would like to add?"
"No, but I was wondering what part you are going to be helping out with? You haven't been here so you don't know any of our songs or our dances or the lines. How much help can you actually be?"
My coldness did not go unnoticed by her or anyone else in the room. Her perky face fell slightly. She probably wasn't used to making enemies within one day, but when it came to my boyfriend and my production I became extremely protective.
"Principal Warner decided I should be an assistant to Ms. Mason. I'm going to help her out with anything she needs."
I folded my arms across my chest, satisfied. As long as someone wasn't trying to come and take M's production away from her I would have to let it slide.
M clapped her hands together, some of the life rushing back to her face. "Stop standing around! We've got lines to go over. Let's go over scene five!"
Feet shuffled around the stage and along the carpeted floor hurrying to their places for the line reading. I fell back with Caity, hanging around behind the curtains as I wasn't in scene five.
"Does this seem weird to anyone other than me?" she voiced grabbing a clipboard off the crew table to see what was needed for this scene.
I nodded watching her flip through the sheets making little marks next to tasks. "It's like she came out of nowhere, and now all the sudden she's involved in everything."
"Mitchie!" yelled M from the director's chair at the foot of the stage.
I looked at Cait expectantly and walked out from behind the curtain.
"Where are Shane and Nate? We cannot go over scene five without our lead missing!" she exclaimed rising from her chair to storm up the stairs.
"Nate's Mom went into labor earlier today, so they left school to be with her."
The opening of the auditorium door muffled my last word. My face broke into a wide smile; my heart beating along with every step he took.
"Sorry I'm late!" Shane announced breaking into a run. "I tried to leave as soon as I could."
"Any news?" Caity asked breathlessly appearing at my elbow.
He shook his head. "No little new baby yet," he said sadly. "I told her she better wait until after I get back too to have the little thing."
"Did Nate come with you?" M wondered storming back down the stairs to meet the tall boy.
Shane shook his head. "He wasn't going to leave even if I bribed him with new guitars."
"We can manage with just Nate being gone," she said to herself.
He glanced up and instantly caught my eyes. His lips pulled up at one corner leaving me swooning like a little school girl.
"Quit staring at Mitchie and get up on stage, we have scenes to rehearse!" M said pushing him away from her and toward the stage.
Shane smiled and jumped onto the wooden stage deciding that was more conducive than walking two feet to the left and walking up the stairs. I shook my head as he quickly planted himself in front of me. "I told you I would be back," he whispered touching my face gently.
"When I say quit staring at Mitchie that doesn't mean go and talk to her instead!" clipped M coming up behind him and swatting him away from me.
The grin never left his face as he followed M to the right wing where everyone who was in scene five was chatting with each other. I sighed heavenly feeling almost faint. It was scary how he, just being in the same vicinity as me, was making it hard to breathe.
Caity grabbed onto my arm and steered me off the stage so that I wasn't in the way. We plopped down in the first row of auditorium seats and watched M yell at everyone.
I sighed, satisfied. This day was turning into a great day.
After rehearsals that day, Caity and I piled into Shane's SUV and sped off to the hospital. None of us had heard anything from Nate during practice. We were all slightly worried that something may have happened, and that's why Nate hadn't been able to contact us. I was hoping there wasn't anything seriously wrong.
Shane got us to the hospital within fifteen minutes, faster than I've ever gotten to the city hospital. We raced through the ER doors. Shane was the first to the counter.
"Has there been any change with Laurie Black?" he asked quickly.
The squat woman shook her head. "She is just relaxing right now in her room. She's been sedated, so she's less irritable than a couple hours ago."
"May we see her?" Caity asked.
She nodded. "Only for a little bit though. Only family after a certain time."
"Thank you," Shane said and started to round the corner before coming back to the counter. "Same room as before?"
"Yes, room 4109."
We took off down the hallway to the nearest elevator. The bell dinged and we squished on with a bunch of intern-looking students not much older than us all holding clipboards looking exhausted. One of the girls, a small mousy brunette, kept pinching her arm to keep her from falling asleep on the wall. She caught me staring.
"Don't ever become doctors," she spoke gruffly
The other interns nodded along with her.
"How long have you been here?" I asked as the elevator stopped and a couple of the skittered off on the second level.
The brunette stayed. She glanced to the taller blond boy behind her. "We've been here for, what, about thirty-six hours you would say?"
"Damn!"
"That's not even bad," the boy told Shane. "Last week, we all pretty much lived here. I think I was at my apartment for a grand total of five hours all week."
"Where do you sleep? Do you get to sleep?" Caity asked sympathetically.
"There is an on-call room which we are allowed to rest in, but that usually doesn't last long. We always get paged within five minutes of lying down."
The elevator dinged again. "This is us," the boy said.
The two maneuvered passed the three of us. "Good luck with everything!" I called after them.
They both waved as the doors closed.
"Remind me to never even think of being in the field of medicine," Caitlyn said as the elevator continued slowly up.
I shook my head along with her. "You have got to be extremely dedicated to do a job like this."
The elevator dinged one last time, and the three of us jumped off the platform and walked out into what seemed to be a waiting room for the fourth floor.
"Shane!" The frantic voice of his mother stopped us short.
We all turned on the spot. Stacey raced down a hallway to us. Her face was flushed red.
"What is it Mom?" Shane asked worriedly meeting her halfway.
She grabbed his hand and pulled him along. "Hurry! They just wheeled her into the C-section room. We can watch from the alcove above. Hurry now!"
The mere mention of a baby being born put us all into a full out sprint behind Stacey. We passed a couple slow walkers in the hallway whom I'm sure weren't thrilled with our unacceptable pace in a hospital hallway.
Stacey didn't even think to slow down; she kept on rushing farther and farther down the hall. She took a sharp right and slowed to a stop. The three of us stumbled into each other ungracefully. Caity pulled on my arm having almost fallen to the ground from our abrupt stop. Stacey opened a huge door to the left and shooed us all inside.
The alcove was crammed. I swear every single member of the family was jammed into a room usually suited for no more than five or six people at a time. Everyone noticed our arrival seeing as they all had to squish closer together. Nate somehow broke through the throng and wrapped his arms around Caity.
"How is she doing?" Shane asked.
Nate held Caity in his arms in a way that frightened me.
"Nate, what's wrong?" she wondered pulling away from him so she could see his face.
"There have been some complications," he managed to choke out before his face buried into Caity's shoulder.
Jason appeared at his shoulder. His face was solemn and tired.
"What's going on Jas?"
"The baby is breached and has somehow managed to get the cord wrapped around its neck. Not but ten minutes ago the doctor came in to check on Laurie, he was checking for the baby's heartbeat as usual and couldn't seem to find it. So he started feeling around her stomach and found out the baby was breached. He isn't sure the cord is wrapped around its neck, but he says it's a good possibility which explains why it's not breathing. They are prepping her for a C-section right now."
"Is the baby going to be okay?" I asked with tears in my eyes.
Shane slipped his big hand around mine.
Jason shrugged helplessly. "We can't be certain until they've got the baby out."
"This is terrible," I muttered facing the huge plexi-glass window.
An army of doctors swarmed the room below hooking Laurie up to more machines and rolling in other monitors and tools. I spotted Mark down there among the doctors. He stuck out in his baby blue booties, scrubs, and hair cap. He held onto Laurie's hand tightly, bending down to whisper something into her ear. I gulped back a sob at the sight of them. They were the last people to deserve something like this happening to them.
"I'm going to go down there and see if they need anything," Stacey said restlessly from behind us.
She was out the door before we could stop her. Paul smiled at us sadly as he passed to chase after her. Julie soon followed suit leaving the five of us with a room full of anxious children. Some of them were beginning to sob. I'm not sure how much they understood of what was going on, but they could sense that something wasn't right.
"Are all the children here?" I asked Jason.
He nodded. "They couldn't leave them at home. When Julie heard that there were complications she rushed over and brought the rest of them with her. They are all so restless. I don't know what to do with them."
"If you want I can take them to the waiting room and sit with them until everything is over," I suggested.
"You don't have to do that Mitch," Shane said.
I shook my head. "It's really no big deal at all. You know me with hospitals and pain and such. It's probably better if I don't want for the sake of everyone else here. They don't need to see their mom or aunt in pain anyway. Plus, it opens up some space to move."
Shane smiled at me in a way that always gave me chills.
"What?" I asked with a shiver.
"Have I ever told you you're amazing?"
I returned his smile. "I'm just trying to help out."
"The waiting room is only at the end of the hallway, so if anything happens we will just shout out the door," Jason joked turning his back on us to gather up the kids.
Shane pulled me into his arms sighing contentedly. "Are you sure about this?"
I nodded against his chest. "Just take care of him for me please," I whispered.
"Always," he murmured placing a kiss on the top of my head.
I gave him a small smile and slipped out of his arms. I tapped Caity on the shoulder and told her quickly what I was doing.
"I'm going to stay here if you don't mind. I need to make sure he doesn't do anything drastic," she said motioning to the motionless Nate in the corner.
"I totally understand, let me talk to him real quick."
Caity nodded stepping out of the way.
I walked slowly to my sulking friend. He was placed in the corner staring intently down at the operating room. He seemed so still that I had to touch him to make sure he was still breathing. His eyes cut to mine and quickly moved back to the operating room. I sighed sadly hating to see my friend in so much pain. Instead of talking I just wrapped my arms around him. He hugged back with the same intensity clutching onto me for support.
"I know nothing I say is going to make you feel better right now," I whispered into his ear. "But you need to know that everyone here is going to make sure they do everything they can to make sure your mom and the baby are alright. Even though I know you want to you are not allowed to go down there and deliver the baby yourself. You have to stay here and be strong for the rest of your family. Everyone looks up to you so much. You need to show them there is nothing to worry about. You are the strong one."
His body convulsed in a sob. I pulled back to look at him and felt myself tearing up again.
"Nate," I said placing both my hands on the sides of his face, "everything is going to be alright. Your mom is the strongest woman I know. She isn't going to let something like this get in the way of her bringing home another beautiful baby."
A couple droplets fell from his dark brown eyes.
"I'm going to take the little kids to the waiting room. They don't need to be in here for this. If you need me at all just send someone to come get me. I think you will be fine with Cait, Shane, and Jason though. You will be fine," I said squeezing him to me again. "I love you."
"I love you too Mitch. Thank you," he whispered.
I gave him one last smile and headed to the door. Shane met me.
"Libba and Rylee want to stay, but everyone else has already walked down to the waiting room with Jacob and Porter. I told them you would be behind them shortly. I will come get you if anything happens."
"Thank you," I said wrapping my arms around his taut body. I breathed in his smell and instantly felt myself relax somewhat. "Take extra care of everyone."
"You do the same. I love you Mo," he said bending down to touch his lips to mine.
The room fell away for that quick instant. "I love you," I said breathlessly backing into the hall.
He watched me walk away with a sad expression on his beautiful face. I turned and sped down the hallway just to make sure they weren't causing mayhem in the waiting room.
Surprisingly all seven of them were seated solemnly in separate seats, save for Keavy Rae who was balled up on Porter's lap. She must have been getting over her fear of people. She was letting more and more family hold her lately. I smiled at her progression.
Hollace jumped off the chair she was sharing with Jensen and threw herself into my arms. Her little sobs sounded pitiful. Other people waiting in the chairs looked on at her with sad eyes.
"I' the gonna be okay?" she blubbered through her tears. "I' Momma gonna be okay?"
I tucked her head in my neck and settled myself into a chair between Jensen and Jacob. James crawled up onto his older brother's lap. Porter scooted his chair over towards us, Keavy Rae still wrapped in his arms. Bryden, in fear of being left out, plopped down on the floor at my feet. I ruffled the little boy's hair with my free hand. He smiled up at me hopefully; he looked so much like Shane it was scary.
"Everything is going to be okay," I told Hollace hoping that I wasn't installing false hope in her four year old mind.
My words didn't ease the worry in the older children's eyes. Porter and Jacob knew something was wrong but they weren't going to worry their siblings with things they didn't understand.
Hollace tucked her face into my shoulder stifling her sobs. I ran my hand through her beautiful long brown locks. Jensen crawled over the arm of her chair to sit on my other leg. She mimicked Hollace's movements, hiding her face in my shoulder.
Carefully, I pulled the chair Jensen vacated to enclose our little circle. "Sit here Bry," I told the little boy.
He instantly popped up from the floor and settled into the chair. I looked around at all their faces and sighed.
"What would you guys like to do?" I asked not sure if we should all just sit here in silence or actually find something productive to keep their minds off Laurie.
"Can we play a game?" suggested Bryden leaning forward in the big chair.
I smiled. "What kind of game are you thinking?"
"Let's play the favorite game!" squeaked James.
The older children groaned as the younger ones squealed along with James. "What's the favorite game?" I wondered.
Jensen opened her mouth in shock. "You've never heard of the favorite game. It's only the best game ever invented."
I giggled at her exaggerated gestures. "Well, tell me how you play it."
Porter quickly explained the game knowing that he was the only one that would be able to truly get the point of the game across. The littler kids added their tidbits every five seconds, but I think I managed to understand the gist of the game. The favorite game was simple; for example, one person would say name your favorite book, then you went around your circle naming your favorite book. Simple enough right?
"Okay it sounds easy enough, who wants to go first?" I asked.
"Me!" yelled James.
I giggled softly hugging the two girls on my lap closer to me. "Go ahead, ask your question."
"What is your favorite color?" he asked looking at Jacob to start off the game.
"James that is so boring," complained his twin Jensen.
"Oh just say your favorite color Jen," Jacob scolded his younger sister. "My favorite color is blue."
"My favorite color is baby blue," Jensen mimicked her older brother.
Bryden said, "Dark green."
"Mine is aqua," I said. "What about you Ace?"
"I like periwinkle," she stated simply.
I stared at her. She was too smart for a four year old.
"What's your favorite color?" Porter whispered in Keavy Rae's ear.
She brought her small fists up to her mouth attempting to hide the smile. She leaned back and whispered into her brother's ear.
Porter smiled. "Keavy Rae likes bright pink, and my favorite is black."
James clapped gleefully. "I love orange! Your turn Jacob."
"Alright, favorite movie."
Suddenly a huge smile crossed over my face. My mind quickly sorted back through a couple months to one of the first days I ever talked to Shane Gray. We were forced to work with each other one evening and to pass the time we played this exact game. I sighed happily remembering how easy it was for him to make me laugh. How easily we became friends, how easily he stole my heart with that crooked grin.
"What is it Mitchie?" wondered Jensen noticing my sudden mood change.
I smiled down at her worried face. "Nothing, just remembering a really good day."
She nodded and listened to her cousins and brothers and sisters name off their favorite movie. When it came around to my turn there was not a second delay in my answer.
"The Notebook," I told them.
"I've never seen it," Jensen said sadly.
"We will watch it sometime, okay?"
She perked up, a smile on her face.
All of the sudden our quiet game was interrupted with the rush of doctors running down the hallway. Someone came over the loudspeaker frantically yelling for every available doctor to make their way to ER 4918. Our eyes followed their hurried footsteps down the hallway we had left, worry washing over all of us. As the doctors rushed by something caught my eye.
Coming out of one of the rooms was a staggering, very dejected looking Shane Gray. His shoulders slumped over in a way that did not comfort me whatsoever. I quickly set down the two girls in the chair and raced towards him. He looked up just as I was at the end of the hallway.
Something passed over him, and he was falling backwards. Fear coursed through me.
"Shane!" I shouted, but it was too late. He was already down.