The Problem with Men and Me
" A tendency to stress the negative or unfavorable or to take the gloomiest possible view."
Chapter 37: Pessimist
"Mate, you need to look alive."
"Stop existing so loudly, Potter, or I swear I will-"
"Sirius! You're awake!"
"Shut your unholy gobs, the lot of you, or I will shut them for you!" Sirius growled, grabbing his pillow and yanking it over his pounding head to block out their voices. He had maybe gone a little bit over the top, drinking last night.
The quiet chuckling coming from the far corner of the room had to be Remus- snickering to himself. "You told Penny that you liked her tits last night. Several times," He informed his hung over friend.
That made Sirius sit up, straight as a board, tossing open the curtains with his eyes bulging out of his skull. "I what?" He near-shouted, he jumped out of bed, but almost immediately his head pounded in protest, and he sat back down on the edge of the mattress.
"You made a right arse of yourself is what you did," Remus told him, looking out the window at where the first snow of the year was beginning to fall. "I had to drag you away from her before you started reciting sonnets to her fingernails, or something."
"She does have lovely nailbeds," James pointed out absent-mindedly, which made all the other boys in the room look at him with raised eyebrows. "I'm only saying," he added hurriedly, giving a shrug.
Even Peter laughed at him, and said; "Who notices a girl's nails? That's barmy."
"Penny does have nice tits though," Sirius muttered, hands unconsciously making a slight groping gesture.
Remus rolled his eyes, having looked away from the window in time to see the hand movement. "You're disgusting. And I think you scared her off you for life," He pushed himself out of his chair, bringing with him a small vile of awful looking potion that he pressed into Sirius' palm. "You owe me."
"Thank you, Moony," Sirius muttered, popping out the cork stopper at the top and swallowing down the awful tasting hangover remedy. He made an overly-dramatic gagging sound and gave him back the empty vile.
James came over, and curled up in the disheveled mess of Sirius' blankets. "Well, let's look at this whole buggered up situation from the bright side," He suggested cheerfully, reaching up and giving Sirius' head a pat.
"What bright side?" Sirius asked, glaring at him unhappily and swatting his hand away. He certainly didn't see that there could be any bright side to having drunkenly told one's best-female-mate-that-one-also-happens-to-fancy that she had nice tits. Even if she did have really nice tits.
Seeming to think it over, James waited before answering, "Well, I'm sure we'll find one eventually. We always do. Don't be such a pessimist, Padfoot."