*(The results are in! With an outstanding 8 vote lead, you have decided that we will go back and have the Undyne date right now and avoid the fight entirely. Well, you have voted and I will answer. Hope you guys enjoy!)
Chapter 37: Undyne date.
Yeah… I don't need to go in there right now. It would probably just be painful for me, and I can just avoid it… wait, how does the crypt over there work? Normally the bodies of the humans are kept down there, but now… I take the set of stairs to the crypt. Upon entering, I notice the room is a lot smaller than normal, and there is only a single coffin with a white heart on it and also some kind of… memorial? I approach the coffin.
*it's a coffin
*there is a name engraved on it.
*'Asriel Dreemurr'
*...
*you don't want to look inside.
Yeah, lets not. I suppose it makes sense. If Asriel was human then he would still have his physical body somewhere, rather than just being a bunch of dust on some flowers. I walk away from the coffin and approach the little memorial setting.
*you feel like something is missing from this setup.
*the dust of whom it belongs to.
Toriel must have taken their dust when she left and scattered it on the flowers at the beginning of the ruins…
That would explain why you are still here.
*but of course.
I leave the crypt and start making my way back to waterfall.
-big timeskip-
I see Papyrus in front of a completely normal house where Undyne's fish one usually is. I guess it would be weird if her house was still shaped like a fish and even weirder if it was shaped like a human head. Heh.
"OHO! THE MONSTER ARRIVES! ARE YOU READY TO HANG OUT WITH UNDYNE? I HAVE A PLAN TO MAKE YOU GREAT FRIENDS!"
"Sure, i'm ready."
"OKAY! STAND BEHIND ME!" Papyrus turns around to face the door. "PSST. MAKE SURE TO GIVE HER THIS!" he pulls out a miniature gift wrapped bone… "SHE LOVES THESE!" he puts it away and then knocks on the door. The piano playing stops and the door opens. Undyne is standing there in her casual clothes.
"Hi, Papyrus! Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?"
"YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" Papyrus steps to the side.
"Hi, I don't think we've…" Undyne notices its me. "... why don't. You two. Come in?" Undyne steps inside. Papyrus seems ecstatic that his plan is working and steps inside as well as I follow him.
I look around Undyne's hose to see if anything is different. Piano… stove… hotfridge…
Is that a flamethrower!?
"HERE, UNDYNE. MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU, ON THEIR OWN!" he pulls out the bone.
"Uhhh… thanks." Undyne takes it. "I'll, uh, put it with the others." she walks over to one of her drawers and puts it in there with a bunch of other identically wrapped bones… "so are we ready to start?"
"WHOOPSIE DOOPSIE! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM! YOU TWO HAVE FUN!" Papyrus runs and takes a flying leap out the window…
…
"So why are YOU here? To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? IS THAT IT?"
"Yes" im going to hate myself later.
"Oh-ho-ho-ho. Well, i've got news for you, BRAT. your on MY battlefield now. And you AREN'T going to humiliate me. I'll tell YOU what's going to happen. Were going to hang out. We're going to have a good time. We're going to become 'friends'. You'll become so enamored with me… YOU'll be the one who feels humiliated with your actions! Fuhuhu! It's the perfect revenge! Err… why don't you have a seat?" ok, I have to know now. The only thing different so far here has been the flamethrower… I approach it. "Monsters suck, but the kind of magic they can wield… its pretty cool. Case in point, your fire magic. The wimpy stuff you were using during our fight is NOTHING compared to the cool stuff I've seen you guys do! I've seen monsters shoot blasts of fire up to three times their size in the history I've seen. Monsters still do that, right?" I don't know how often something like that actually happens, but I do know for a FACT that monsters are capable of it… never piss off goat mom.
"Yes."
"I know. It's freaking epic! Anyways, humans can't use magic normally, though, so Alphys built this flamethrower for me so that I can create massive torrents of fire! Watch this!" Undyne picks up the massive flamethrower and is about to fire it, before stopping herself. "Actually… maybe not in the house." She puts it back down. Crisis averted. I go to the chair and sit down. "Comfortable? I'll get you something to drink." Undyne walks up to her fridge and pulls out a few things and setting them on the counter. "All set! What would you like?" I move to stand up, and Undyne suddenly plants her spear through the table! "Hey! Don't get up! You're the guest! Sit down and enjoy yourself!... um, hey don't you just point to what you'd like with the spear?" I pull the spear out of the table and point it to the box of tea."...tea, huh? Coming right up! Undyne walks over to the boxes of tea and begins preparing it. She puts a kettle on the stove to boil. "It will take a minute for the water to boil." we wait for about a minute for the kettle to whistle. "Ok, it's all done!" Undyne takes a cup out of her sink and pours some tea into it, before walking back next to me and setting it on the broken table. She then takes a seat on the other side "careful, it's hot." I wait a few seconds to try and cool the tea. "It's not that hot! Just drink it already!" I take a sip. It's burning hot, but tastes good. "It's good, right? Nothing but the best for my absolutely precious friend!"... "hey… you know. It's kind of strange you chose THAT tea. Golden flower tea. That's Asgore's favorite kind. Actually, now that i think about it. You kind of remind me of him. Your both total wenies!... sort of. Y'know, i was kind of a hot headed kid. once,to prove i was the strongest, i tried to fight Asgore. Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back. I was so humiliated… afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy. 'Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?' said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during practice, i finally managed to knock him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming! I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked! So he kept training me, and now i'm the head of the royal guard! Now i get to train other dorks how to fight!... like, uh, Papyrus… honestly, though I don't know if… I don't know if I would ever be able to let him into the royal guard… don't tell him I said that! I mean, it's not like he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough! It's just that… he's just to innocent and nice! I mean, hewas supposed to capture you! Instead, all he did was try and become your friend. I could NEVER send him into battle! He'd get blasted into little smiling pieces. Thats part of why… i started teaching him how to cook. He's actually getting really good at it. So, maybe now he will be able to do something meaningful with his life. Oh, sorry, I was talking so long. You're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get you some more." Undyne stands up before she seems to realize something. "Wait a seccond. Papyrus… his cooking lesson… he was supposed to have that right now! And since he's not here to have it. You'll have to have it for him!" Undyne leaps onto the counter and knocks everything off of it. "That's right! NOTHING has brought Papyrus and i closer then cooking! Which means that if i give you his lesson… we'll become closer than you can ever imagine!" Undyne leaps onto her counter and runs across it, knocking everything to the floor. She then leaps next to me and grabs me by the head and places my back down next to her counter. Ow. "let's start with the sauce!" she stomps and several vegetables fall from somewhere onto the counter. "Envision these tomatoes as your greatest enemies! Now, pound them into dust with your fists!" I punch one of the tomatoes, and it barely falls over. "Alright! Now it's my turn!" Undyne punches the vegetables and the splatter against the wall and over us. "Uh, we'll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for now…" she stomps again and a pot and a package of spaghetti noodles falls from the ceiling. Onto the stove. "now we add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best! But I just buy store brand noodles! They're the cheapest! NGHAAAAAAAA! Uh, just put them in the pot." I open the package and pour the noodles into the empty pot. They clink against the bottom. "Ok? Alright, now it's time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir… the better it is! Ready? Let's do it!" i take a wooden spoon and start to stir the noodles slowly. "Stir harder." i start going faster. "Harder!" I try to stir as fast as I can. "HARDER!" my arms start to hurt. "Ugh, just let me do it." she takes the spoon and rapidly smashes it around the inside the pot, denting it all over the place and breaking the spoon in the process… "Fuhuhu! That's the stuff! Now the next step, turn up the heat! Let the flames symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams represent burning fire! Ready? Don't hold anything back! Use your fire magic and burn the absolute hell out of them!" i use my fire magic under the pot and start heating the noodles.. "Hotter." ok? I make the flames hotter, but i can't make it any more than it already is. "Ugh, just let me do it." Undyne grabs the flamethrower and blasts it at the pot! "See? This is how you-"
*Bang!
In a flash of light and heat, the entire house is ablaze… "man, no wonder Papyrus told me to stop putting the heat on maximum… so what's next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets?... oh who am i kidding. I really screwed this up, didn't i? I can't force you to like me, monster. Some people just don't get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me. And if we can't be friends… that's ok… because… if we aren't friends… it means i can destroy you without regret!" Undyne grabs a burnt pan from off of her wall and points it at me.
*Battle start!
"I've been defeated… My house is in shambles… i even failed to befriend you. That's it. I don't care if you're my guest final rematch! All out on both sides! It's the only way i can regain my lost pride! Now come on! Hit me with all you've got! NGHAAA!" well shoot.
*Magic
*you create a few sparse fireballs that automatically move away from Undyne's SOUL, but she runs into one anyways on purpose…
*Undyne HP 1299/1300
"...what? That's the best you can manage? Even attacking at full force… you just can't muster enough intent to hurt me, huh? … heh. You know what?" she lets the pan clatter to the ground. "I don't actually want to hurt you, either. At first, i hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but… the way you hit me right now, it… reminded me of someone i used to train with. Now i know you aren't just some wimpy loser. You're a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him… listen, monster. It seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. But knowing him… he probably doesn't want to. Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean monster will fall down here… and i'll turn THEM into the EXP we need to go free. That makes sense, right? Fuhuhu. Oh, and if you DO hurt Asgore… i'll take the monster dust we have… cross the barrier… and beat the hell out of you! That's what friends are for, right? Now let's get the hell out of this flaming house!"
*You won!
We both walk out of the house as flames start shooting out of the windows. "well, that was fun, huh? We'll have to hang out again another time! But, uh, somewhere else, i guess. In the meantime, i guess i'll go hang out with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by snowdin, ok? Oh, and if you need any help… just give Papyrus a ring, ok? Since we're in the same spot, i'll be able to talk, too. Well, see ya later, punk!" Undyne takes off running towards Snowdin…
Well that was fun. Hey, what happens if i walk back up to her house.
*it's so beautiful… =)
End of chapter 37
*(some children just want to see the world burn. And in species swap, Chara is one of those children. Well, i'm sorry this chapter came out way late, but I hope you guys enjoyed it anyways. See ya later!)