NOTE: New chapter! Believe it or not, this chapter and the last one were supposed to be one chapter but it quickly became clear as I was typing it up that that would've been too long so I split it. The reason this second "half" took so long to post is because well... it still turned out REALLY long compared to other chapters and I was trying to see if I would be able to split it again. But since this centered heavily around a certain companion quest, there just wasn't a good place to split it. So here's a super long chapter for you all! And I've rambled on quite a bit there so I'll just let you get to reading now... :)

Chapter 35

The door to the war room slammed shut as the Inquisitor stormed inside, around the table holding the map of Thedas and began pacing about. She ripped off her left glove and clutched at the mark that was causing a burning pain to flow beneath her skin. She focused on that pain, muttering to herself, though later she wouldn't remember what she had said, and fighting against the all too familiar dark thoughts clouding her mind. She wasn't aware of how much time had passed but eventually the dark thoughts weakened, allowing her to think more clearly and to calm herself. The mark then calmed, the pain vanishing and the green glow dimming. She stopped her pacing and braced her hands on the stone sill of a window, looking out at the snow covered mountains and wishing she could bury herself in that snow. Maybe she could just bang her head against the window glass for a few hours instead.

She heard the door open and close behind but didn't turn. There was really only a handful of people that would've followed her to the war room after all of that. "I think I'm developing a habit," she said.

"I was going to say you were breaking it." Shadow turned to see that it was her Spymaster who had entered. The hooded woman walked around the table and offered a smile. "You didn't vanish this time."

"Not exactly the behavior of a true leader," Shadow found herself muttering.

Leliana's face darkened and Shadow had a feeling that there was a line that she crossed. "Stop that," Leliana said, giving voice to the anger and frustration in her eyes. "You continue to doubt yourself and believe we should as well. Tell me, should we doubt ourselves?"

Shadow's eyes widened at the question. "What?"

Leliana continued, "Can we, your advisors, not be trusted? Should the people not be trusted?"

Shadow shook her head. "No, that isn't what -"

Leliana cut her off, pressing on to make her point. "When you continuously doubt yourself as our leader, scrutinizing everything you do and say you could do better, you do so to us as well. We chose you to be Inquisitor because of who you are. Your past has shaped you and your actions have defined you. You do not need to change anything of yourself to be the leader we need because you have always been that leader."

Shadow stared at her in silence for a moment, taking in her words. Eventually she asked, "You've been wanting to say that for a while haven't you?"

Leliana smiled, her anger leaving though a small part of the frustration remained. That hadn't been what she had planned to discuss with the Inquisitor but it was certainly something that needed to be said. "It was either I or Cassandra."

Shadow tilted her head. "Not Cullen or Josephine?"

"They would've been too kind."

Shadow arched a brow. "The Commander?"

Leliana's smile became a smirk. "Especially the Commander." Shadow blushed and looked away. "I suppose we are asking for you to change one thing. This self-doubting. That habit we wouldn't mind seeing broken."

Shadow let out a heavy sigh. "I'm working on it."

"That is all we ask." They both turned when a knock was heard and Leliana called out for whomever it was to enter. Both were surprised to see a member of the Chantry enter.

"Mother Giselle," Shadow greeted.

The woman bowed her head in greeting. "Inquisitor. There is something I wish to discuss with you." She glanced at Leliana. "Alone."

Shadow was half tempted to say no, but Leliana shot her a look and smiled at Mother Giselle. "I was just leaving as I need to speak with the Commander and Ambassador. Are they still in Lady Montilyet's office?" Mother Giselle nodded and Leliana gave her a small bow of respect. "Your Reverence. Inquisitor."

Shadow warily turned to the Revered Mother as the Spymaster left. She still respected the woman but since coming to Skyhold, she hadn't spoken often with her. Mainly because she was avoiding her so not to hear another argument about why Dorian shouldn't be allowed to stay with the Inquisition.

"What do you wish to discuss?" asked Shadow.

"I have news regarding one of your companions. The Tevinter."

Shadow let out an impatient sigh when she heard the note of distaste in her voice. "Mother Giselle, we've had this… disagreement far too many times. Dorian is invaluable to the Inquisition and I will not ask him to leave."

The Revered Mother actually appeared to be embarrassed by the reminder of their past discussions. "I admit his presence here makes me uncomfortable, Inquisitor. However my feelings are of no importance in this matter." Oh really? thought Shadow. "I have been in contact with his family. House Pavus, out of Qarinus. Are you familiar with them?"

Shadow immediately thought yes but kept that to herself. Mother Giselle wasn't aware of Shadow's past with Tevinter or much of her past at all really. She knew the Chantry woman was aware she was being kept out of the loop there, but thankfully she seemed to understand and wasn't bitter about it. "He's mentioned his family but provided little information. What he did share made it clear they are not on good terms." Shadow thought back to the one time Dorian had told her anything about his family and how he had made it clear he didn't want to discuss them further.

They were traveling to Skyhold, their mounts slowly and carefully making their way through the thick mountain snow. Dorian rode to Shadow's left while Solas rode to her right. Shadow glanced over at the mustached man.

"So what will you do now?"

Dorian looked over at her. "What do you mean?"

"You left Tevinter to stop Alexius, correct?"

Dorian looked ahead as he hesitantly said, "Not exactly…"

Solas let out an irritated sigh and sarcastically said, "So plainly spoken."

Dorian rolled his eyes and turned back to Shadow. "I am the Scion of House Pavus, a product of generations of careful breeding and repository of its hopes and dreams." Shadow gazed at him with concern at the bitter bite in his words. "Naturally, I despised it all; the lies, the scheming, the illusions of supremacy. You remember." Shadow nodded while Solas shot him a glare at the mention of her past. "Needless to say, my family was not happy with my choices."

"Why would your family be upset with your choices?" asked Shadow. She had heard a little about House Pavus during her time in Tevinter, mostly good (from a slave's point of view) although there were rumors of blood magic.

"Because I rejected their idyllic plan," he spat, anger growing. "If they had their way, by now I'd be married to some unlucky girl from a powerful family. I left to lessen their embarrassment." Dorian signaled the end of the discussion by urging his mount ahead of theirs. Shadow watched him ride ahead, feeling that there was more to it than just not marrying someone but also understanding that he was not yet willing to talk about it.

Shadow was brought back from her memories when Mother Giselle continued their conversation. "Yes, I believe you are correct. The family sent a letter describing the estrangement from their son and pleading for my aid." Shadow tilted her head, thinking about how strange that sounded. Why is she talking to a Tevinter family? What are they seeking aid from her, a southern Chantry woman? And just how did these letters slip past Leliana? "They've asked to arrange a meeting. Quietly, without telling him. They fear it's the only way he'll come." Shadow narrowed her eyes as her suspicion increased. "Since you are on good terms with the young man, I'd hoped…"

Shadow started to cross her arms, remembered she still had a glove on, removed it and then crossed her arms. She found her head full of far too many questions and she had to restrain herself from just blurting them out. She took a moment to reconstruct them to be less blunt, or at least a little less rude. She gave Mother Giselle a hard stare. "Why would his family contact you?"

Mother Giselle seemed to quickly pick up on the Inquisitor's wariness as she took her time to carefully word her answer. "Because they do not know you, Inquisitor. I am not of the Imperial Chantry," Shadow arched a brow at the hint of venom when she said that, "but they know what I represent. These are parents concerned about the welfare of their son. How could I not do whatever possible? I would speak to the young man myself but… he does not care for me." Huh, I wonder why? Shadow wondered. "Thus I come to you. If any good can come of this, we must try."

Shadow was liking this less and less and she could feel her anger growing. Just how much longer would she have kept these exchanges quiet if she hadn't encountered this obstacle? Shadow wasn't fooled by Mother Giselle's worried tone and concerned words. She knew that the Chantry woman no doubt saw this as an opportunity to rid herself of Dorian and Shadow was finding it difficult to remember why she liked the woman outside of conversations involving the man.

"They're concerned about the welfare of their son but want to trick him into meeting with them," Shadow said with skepticism. "I'm sorry, Mother Giselle, but that doesn't sound right."

Mother Giselle attempted to explain. "They believe the young man would refuse and the letter implies he'd have just cause. Yet they are remorseful for whatever came before. This is a chance for dialogue." Shadow frowned, not feeling any better about Dorian's family's intentions. What else but angry words could come from such trickery? Mother Giselle continued when she noted the Inquisitor's disbelief. "There is deceit in bringing the young man to this meeting without his foreknowledge, I know. But… does it not lead to a greater kindness if there is potential for reconciliation?"

Shadow almost shouted no in anger but held her tongue just in time. She couldn't believe that the woman who had given her great advice in the past was trying to pass this argument off as logical and morally alright. Shadow wasn't even sure if Dorian was interested in reconciling with his family and she highly doubted the best way to find out was to force him to meet with his family. She may still be learning how relationships, especially families, worked but she was pretty sure deceit only lead to bad results no matter the intentions.

"Just what kind of 'meeting' do they have in mind?" she asked, her voice cool.

"I believe they just want to talk, to understand why Dorian felt he had to come here. Somewhere private. Away from Skyhold. But not in Tevinter," she quickly added when Shadow's eyes narrowed further. "As I said, they don't know you and I think you make them nervous." Good. "They wrote that they don't understand why he's with the Inquisition and they want him to return home. I suspect however that there is more to all of this than either of us understands."

Is that really the only suspicion you have? That there is more to what has caused a rift between him and his family? Not the demand for secrecy or to meet away from the safety of Skyhold? Shadow leaned against the table as she voiced this concern. "Their insistence for secrecy has me worried that this is a trap."

Mother Giselle looked down briefly and slowly replied, "That did occur to me. What if it is a plot of those radicals… the Venatori? Another reason to put this in your hands, Inquisitor."

Ah, so Mother Giselle not only knew she wouldn't have been able to trick Dorian herself but that she would've been unable to handle an attack if this proved to be a trap. Shadow was now full on glaring at her. "How come you didn't bring this to my attention immediately? Or my Spymaster? She could've determined if these letters were laying the foundation for a trap. Not to mention that Dorian is a close friend of mine. You should've immediately informed me that you were speaking with his family."

Mother Giselle appeared nervous by Shadow's increasingly cooling tone. She had never used it with her before, showing just how angry she was about this situation. "I did not want to trouble the Inquisition with this. I did not wish to distract you from larger, more important concerns."

"More important than letters from Tevinter, the country from which our enemy originates?"

The Revered Mother clasped her hands together tightly. "I am sorry Inquisitor. I meant well. And though I pray that this is not the case, if there is treachery here, I know that you are far better equipped than I to respond to it."

Shadow glared at her in silence for a few minutes, struggling to keep her anger from exploding. She honestly couldn't tell if the woman was sincere in her apology or not but she was finding it difficult to believe she was. If the woman could've carried out this whole thing on her own, pushing Dorian out of the Inquisition and under everyone's nose, then she no doubt would've.

Shadow finally spoke again. "And you agree with his family that it would be best to keep Dorian in the dark?" When Mother Giselle nodded, Shadow couldn't keep her anger in any longer. She threw her hands in the air and nearly shouted, "Unbelievable! If you think I'm going to lie to him, trick him into meeting with his family…" She couldn't finish, instead let out an angry growl and ran a hand through her hair.

Mother Giselle sighed in disappointment. "I feared you might say that. The family will be sending a retainer to meet the young man at the tavern in Redcliffe Village to take him onward." Shadow froze at hearing this piece of information. Why the Void didn't she mention that before? Shadow knew that the Divine would be disappointed with how tempted she was to wring the Chantry woman's neck. "If he truly does not wish this reunion, he can always end the matter there." She reached within her robes and withdrew a parchment. "I pray you change your mind, Inquisitor. Perhaps this letter will persuade you." Shadow took the letter from Mother Giselle and watched as she moved to the door. She paused a moment in opening it. "If there is any chance of success in this, it behooves us to act." With those final words, she left the war room.

"I'm telling Leliana to spy on you next, Revered Mother," Shadow muttered. She opened the letter in her hands and began to read.

Your Reverence,

I understand that you feel in adequate to the task of bringing Dorian to a secret meeting. Even in the asking, I find it difficult to believe myself. Considering my son has rebuffed all contact, this is the only way. I know my son; he would be too proud to come if he knew – even just to talk. That is all we wish to do. The thought of Dorian in the south, placing himself in the path of such danger, alarms us more than I can express.

If this somehow succeeds, we have a family retainer at the Vandral Hills watching for Dorian's arrival. He will bring the boy to us, somewhere private. If Dorian utterly refuses to go with him, it ends there… and there is nothing we can do. We are at our wit's end.

Graciously Yours,

Magister Halward of House Pavus

"Oh shit," Shadow said. "Dorian is going to be pissed."

"'I know my son'!" Dorian shouted, crumpling his father's letter in his hands. Shadow watched silently as he paced the room. "What my father knows of me would barely fill a thimble. This is so typical!"

Shadow felt concerned about his increasing anger, worried that if she could sense his magic being pulled to him in the room, any nearby Templar might too and overreact. Thankfully, Dorian's room was close to the library in the tower and very few of the Templars would go near that library since it was common for mages to gather there. The chances of a Templar sensing Dorian's magic was therefore fairly low but she was still worried all the same.

She was also a little confused. She turned to the Qunari sitting on Dorian's bed. "Why are you here again?" she asked Bull. When she had gone to tell Dorian about the letter, she had found him in the library as per usual and had also found Bull there, annoying the mage by sitting in "his" seat. When she had said she needed to speak with him and suggested they do so privately, Bull had followed them back to Dorian's room, who hadn't protested the action.

Bull shrugged as he leaned back against the headboard. "Saving one if not both of you from hunting me down and telling me all of this later." Shadow narrowed her eyes at him, not buying his answer. His lips curved up a little and he slightly shook his head, careful not to hit the wall with his horns. "That's the only answer you're getting Boss."

Shadow was prevented from questioning him further when Dorian spoke again. "I'm willing to bet this 'retainer' is a henchman hired to knock me on the head and drag me back to Tevinter."

Shadow's eyes showed her surprise. "Would your father really do that?" She might not have a whole lot of faith in Magisters but she figured there had to be some lines Dorian's father wouldn't cross, at least with his own son.

"I wouldn't put it past him." Dorian paused for a moment in his pacing. "Maybe."

Bull snorted. "That would be hard to do while we stood there. Especially me." Shadow shot him a look and he spread his hands, smiling. "Just being truthful Boss." Shadow rolled her eyes but also couldn't prevent a smile at his confident, some would say cocky, attitude.

Dorian shook his head while waving a hand, the crumpled letter still in the other. "He expects me to travel with Mother Giselle, although Maker knows why he'd think I would." Dorian paused again in his movements and shuddered. "Can you imagine me traveling with that woman?" Bull began to chuckle at seeing the horrified expression on the mage's face but stopped when Shadow shot him another look. He didn't bother hiding his smile however. Dorian whirled to face them. "Let's go." Shadow raised a brow at the commanding tone. "Let's meet this so called 'family retainer'. If it's a trap, we escape and kill everyone! You're both good at that."

Shadow rolled her eyes again and said "Thanks" while Bull nodded and proudly stated "Damn right".

"If it's not, I send the man back to my father with the message that he can stick his alarm in his 'wit's end'!" With those final words, he set the letter aflame in his hands, turning it to ash in seconds.

Shadow watched as what little remained of the letter fell to the floor. "There seems to be a lot more… bad blood between you and your family then you've previously indicated."

Dorian let out a humorless laugh, earning himself a calculating look from the Iron Bull. "Interesting turn of phrase. But you're correct. They don't care for my choices, nor I for theirs."

Shadow glanced at Bull, not sure if she should continue her line of questioning while he was present but then decided that if Dorian hadn't wanted him to know of any of this, he would've asked him to leave. "Because you wouldn't marry and left?" she asked, experiencing that feeling again that there was more to it than that but yet Dorian's response hadn't provided new information.

Dorian kicked at the pile of ash on the ground. "That too."

Bull got to his feet and made his way across the room. Shadow tilted her head as he paused to whisper something in Dorian's ear before he turned to face her, leaving what appeared to be an even angrier mage although Shadow thought she detected something else in his eyes, something she couldn't put a name to. She turned her attention to Bull when he asked, "When do we head out Boss?"

"Tomorrow. First light." She still needed to speak with her advisors about this and she had a feeling there would be some protest. No doubt Cullen would attempt to send a small portion of the Inquisition army with them and Josephine would say that she couldn't leave without responding to the pile of unread letters on her desk. But she had a feeling that Leliana would support her in this and will be able to help her convince the others to go along with it.

Bull gave her a nod. "I'll tell the Chargers to be ready." Shadow smiled at him, grateful that he knew what she was going to ask. She knew that it would be a bad plan to bring too large of a party but it would also be foolish not to at least have a secondary group waiting at a nearby camp in case something were to go wrong. Also, it would be easier to convince Cullen to go along with this if she had the Bull's Chargers with her. Bull returned her smile and left.

Shadow stared at Dorian for a moment as he gazed after Bull though it was clear that his thoughts were not on the Qunari warrior. Shadow crossed over to him, gently touched his arm and offered him a comforting smile. When his eyes flickered over to hers, she gave his arm a reassuring squeeze and when his expression softened and his eyes appeared a little less tortured, she too left.

The journey to the Hinterlands was relatively peaceful as they encountered only one rift needing closing and the villages they traveled through were very welcoming. The only tension felt in the group was centered around an uncharacteristically silent mage, understandably so. For the first few days many in the group attempted to speak with Dorian, but when he continued to ignore everyone or deliver some rather nasty comments when he was especially annoyed, he was soon left alone with his thoughts. Even Sera let him be eventually, turning her attention to teasing Solas or Cassandra.

Initially only Cassandra was to join them on the journey to Redcliffe, requested by Shadow to for a couple of reasons. One being that her unique abilities would come in handy if they were to be ambushed by Tevinter mages and the other that her presence, along with the Chargers, helped convince Cullen not to send additional soldiers with them. Before leaving Skyhold, however, they were joined by Solas and Cole, the former explaining that he had recently learned there were some ancient elven artifacts in the Hinterlands that could prove to be useful in strengthening the Veil and the latter saying he wanted to help. Then another addition to their party arrived not long after they left Skyhold. Sera had appeared as if she were running for her life, pushing her mount to the poor thing's limit in order to catch up to them. Shadow wasn't able to get a clear answer from the cursing elf, but Sera's "escape" from the fortress seemed to involve an angry head cook and cookies.

When they arrived to the Crossroads in the Hinterlands, Shadow had to stop her horse as she took in the changes from the last time she was here. Gone were the cots filled with injured and dying and the huddled groups of frightened refugees. Now with the Templar and mage fighting done, life had returned to normal with the addition of Inquisition soldiers and some belong to the Crown. Shadow smiled at hearing laughter instead of crying. She didn't stop for long and actually urged everyone onward quickly when the people began to notice and recognize her. She still wasn't comfortable with the look the people got when they realized she was the "Herald of Andraste". The Chargers remained behind while the rest of the party continued to Redcliffe village.

As they rode the trail to the village, Shadow caught a quick glimpse of Redcliffe castle. It had only been a day or two after Alexius had vacated the castle that the King of Ferelden and Arl Teagan had arrived to take it back. After confirming it abandoned, King Alistair was quick to order repairs on the castle and sent much needed aid to those in the village. Shadow received many updates to how things were progressing in the village and was pleased to hear everything was going well and that trade had resumed within the Hinterlands. As suggested by Josephine, she had ordered her people to stand back and allow the King's men to help the villagers and offer their aid if needed, sending a clear message to the King that the Inquisition was not interested in taking anything from him but only offering assistance. So far, the message had been well received by the King although there were whispers that the Arl was becoming uncomfortable with their continued presence.

As they approached the village gate, Shadow found her attention once again drawn to a certain elf bent on causing trouble with another elf.

"You can make magic anywhere, Solas?" Sera leaned closer to him from her mount and shot him a mischievous grin. "Ever piss it by accident?" Shadow kept her face forward so as to not reveal her smile at the ridiculous question.

"No. Wait…" Everyone turned to look at him as he hesitated before confirming, "No."

Sera's eyes widened in surprise at the unexpected answer. "What? How would you not remember something like that?"

Solas gave her a bored look. "We were all young once." He urged his mount closer to the Inquisitor's, ignoring Sera's rebuttal comment, something about him being old. They all drew to a halt just outside the gate. "Inquisitor, Cole and I will take our leave here. We will meet you at sundown back at the outskirts camp."

"Be careful," Shadow ordered. Solas nodded and he and Cole took off to the east. Shadow, Dorian, Bull, Cassandra, and Sera entered the village, leaving their mounts at the stables. Cassandra looked over the now thriving village and said, "It is good to see the area healing." Shadow nodded, watching as a group of children ran by laughing and playing. She thought about the children in Skyhold, both mage and layman, and hoped they felt just as free as these even within the stone walls of the fortress.

As they made their way through the village, people would stop in their activities and stare at their group and whispering. Shadow caught the word "Inquisitor" and knew they spoke of her. A couple of braver folk would attempt to approach them, but either a look from Bull or a short "The Inquisitor has business here" from Cassandra would deter them. Soon they reached the tavern, stopping just outside. Shadow noted the lack of activity in the area, remembering how crowded it had been last time. She also noted the lack of noise coming from within.

"I wonder how much my father paid this man to wait around just in case I showed," Dorian whispered.

Shadow turned to the others and ordered, "Wait here for us."

Bull crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at her. "Boss…"

Shadow shook her head. "If too many of us go in there, it'll appear as if we mean to attack." Dorian began to mumble something but she ignored him.

"And if it is a trap?" demanded Cassandra.

"Then you'll be in there in a matter of seconds." Shadow saw Bull's displeased expression and firmly said, "That is an order, the Iron Bull."

Sera jumped and shouted, "Oh! She used the THE! She's being all Inquizzy." Cassandra shot the elf a glare and Shadow rolled her eyes before bringing her gaze back to Bull. Eventually, he gave her a slow nod and Shadow and Dorian entered the tavern. Immediately, they noticed the absence of people, including the bartender.

"Uh oh," said Dorian, gripping his staff tightly. "Nobody's here." He looked at Shadow. "This doesn't bode well."

Shadow nodded but didn't take her bow out of its harness on her back. "Cullen is going to kill me. After Bull of course."

"Dorian." They both whipped around, Shadow now taking out her bow and drawing it while Dorian began to summon fire. Both stood down when they saw just one lone mad standing at the bottom of the stairs to the second floor. Shadow put away the arrow but kept her bow in hand. Dorian's fire went out and his stood in surprise as the man came into the light, revealing his face.

"Father." Shadow took a step back, partly in surprise at the unexpected presence of Dorian's father and partly because of the instinctive panic that flared at seeing the Magister. Even if Dorian hadn't said anything, she would've seen known who this was as she noticed the similarities between the two. Dorian seemed to sense her discomfort and lightly touched her arm, keeping his eyes on the man before them. "So the whole story about the 'family retainer' was just… what? A smoke screen?"

"Then you were told." Magister Halward looked to Shadow, noting his son's hand on her arm and how tense she appeared. He gave her an apologetic look. "I apologize for the deception Inquisitor. I never intended for you to be involved."

Shadow arched a brow at his wording, pushing her old fears back. Before she could give a response, Dorian put himself in front of her, angered by his father addressing her. "Of course not," he spat. "Magister Pavus couldn't come to Skyhold and be seen with the dread Inquisitor. What would people think?"

"Dorian," Shadow whispered, attempting to calm him as a familiar red glow began to appear about him. He ignored her though.

"What is 'this' exactly Father? Ambush? Kidnapping? Warm family reunion? Is Mother going to appear to provide a nagging comment?"

Halward sighed, still gazing at Shadow. "This is how it has always been."

Shadow frowned at him. Does he think I'm his friend here? "Considering you've lied to everyone, most importantly him, in order to get him here, Dorian has every right to be furious."

Dorian turned to her, startling her with the sudden move that gave her an up close look at the fury in his eyes. "You don't know the half of it! But maybe you should."

Halward attempted to prevent him from continuing, "Dorian, there's no need to -"

"I prefer the company of men," Dorian announced. "And my father disapproves."

There was a moment of silence in which Halward stared at the floor, hiding his expression, Dorian alternated between glaring at his father and staring at Shadow expectantly, and Shadow glanced between the two, trying to come up with a response other than the one she had. Unfortunately, she couldn't come up with anything better.

"Um," she cautiously started. "That's not exactly news."

Dorian through his hands in the air, almost hitting Shadow with his staff. "And why should it be? Why should anyone care? I have no idea!"

Halward finally looked up, a stern expression on his face. "This display is uncalled for."

"No. It is called for. You called for it by luring me here!" Dorian shouted.

Halward's expression fell, filling with pain. "This is not what I wanted."

Dorian's face mirrored his father's. "I'm never what you wanted, Father, or had you forgotten."

Shadow waited for an explanation. She knew that same sex relations were frowned upon in Tevinter, probably more so than in the south even with the Chantry's disapproval of it, and that it was no doubt a big reason why Dorian refused an arranged marriage. However, the amount of rage coming from her friend and the shame she was seeing in the father indicated that there was something more going on here. Something else had to have occurred to warrant such strong emotions.

Dorian noticed her confusion and took it upon himself to explain. "Even in your position you would've noticed how every Tevinter family was - is – intermarrying to distill the perfect mage, perfect body, perfect mind. The perfect leader." He turned his stormy gaze back to his father, not noticing Shadow's eyes widen at his slip. "It means every perceived flaw – every aberration – is deviant and shameful, it must be hidden."

Shadow saw pain mix with anger, understanding the first but not the extreme of the second still. "Preferring the company of men and refusing to marry… that isn't what all of this is about is it?" she asked carefully.

"No," Dorian growled. "It's not."

"Dorian please," his father begged. "If you'll only listen to me."

"Why?" Dorian began to stalk slowly toward his father and pointed at him. "So you can spout more convenient lies?" He lunged at his father, invading his space and startling the man into taking a step back. "He taught me to hate blood magic. 'The resort of the weak mind.' Those are his words!" Shadow thought back to those rumors she had heard during her years in Tevinter and felt sick at where this was going. Dorian stormed away from his father as he continued to shout, "But what was the first thing you did when your precious heir refused to play pretend for the rest of his life?" He turned back, heartbroken. "You tried to change me!" Shadow glared at Dorian's father, the sick feeling turning to anger. How could the man even think of doing that to his own son? She began to give serious thought to drawing a dagger… or calling in the Iron Bull.

Dorian's father attempted to defend his actions, "I only wanted what was best for you!"

Dorian got in his face again, raging once again. "You wanted the best for you! For your fucking legacy!" Pain leaked into his voice again. "Anything for that." He walked away, shoulders down, and moved to the bar. He placed his hands on the counter and leaned forward, his head hanging low. Shadow glared at Halward, refusing to soften her expression when she noted his devastated stance. But then she looked at Dorian's hunched figure, back at his father, and then back to him. She tapped her fingers against her leg as she thought about what to do and her memory flashed back to the Trevelyans for a moment. She let out a sigh and made her way over to Dorian.

She lightly placed a hand to his shoulder. "Don't leave it like this, Dorian." He gave her a disbelieving look. "I'm saying this for you, not for him. You'll never forgive yourself if you leave it like this." He stared at her for a moment before pushing himself back up and turned back to his father.

"Tell me why you came," he demanded. Shadow moved back to the door, putting her bow back in its harness.

"If I knew I would drive you to the Inquisition…" The Magister frowned and seemed to shoot Shadow a disgusted look. She narrowed her eyes at him and held her left hand to her chest as the mark reacted. The Magister's gaze turned wary.

Dorian placed himself in front of his father, effectively blocking Shadow from his sight once again. "You didn't. I joined the Inquisition because it is the right thing to do. Once, I had a father who would have known that." His father's face seemed to crumble and he looked down at the ground. When he didn't speak, Dorian shook his head and began to make his way to the door.

"Once," Dorian stopped when his father spoke, "I had a son who trusted me. A trust I betrayed. I only wanted to talk to him. To hear his voice again. To ask him to forgive me." Dorian turned back in surprise and glanced at Shadow. She nodded in encouragement.

"I'll wait outside," she said softly and left them to talk alone.

An hour later, Dorian and his father stepped out of the tavern. Shadow and the others got to their feet and waited for… something. Shadow carefully studied the two mages and saw that they both appeared tired. While his father remained back, Dorian approached them. "We should go if we want to meet Solas and Cole on time." Shadow nodded and they all turned to leave but stopped when his father called out.

"Inquisitor. A word." Shadow felt surprised that the man wished to speak with her but indicated that the others continue on and she will catch up. Bull refused but the others did as she requested. With Bull watching every move, Shadow walked back to the Magister and he said, "I wanted to thank -"

"Don't," she interrupted. "I didn't do it for you. I did it for Dorian, my friend. You may regret breaking his trust in you and pushing him away but I'm not sure if you regret your actions that led to that break."

Halward tilted his head in acknowledgement. "I do not blame you. It is good to see that my son has found such loyal friends," his gaze flickered the Qunari warrior waiting behind her, "in the south."

Shadow gave a sharp nod and made to leave believing that was that. But then he continued and what he asked caused her to freeze. "How long ago was it when you… left Tevinter?" Shadow quickly turned back, shocked by the revelation that he knew. He didn't seem to want to alarm her as he explained calmly, "My son's words towards you and your reactions toward me… subtle but I understood."

Shadow glared at him, angry at him for causing her to feel that old fear again and angry at herself for still feeling it. You'll never be rid of it. "You understand nothing," she snapped.

"I understand that you have every right to hate my country and its people. Yet you've treated my son with respect and have defended him." Magister Halward gave her a low bow, surprising her yet again. "For that, I thank you Inquisitor. Please continue to protect my son." With that, he turned and left the other way. Shadow jumped when a voice spoke right in her ear.

"That him, yeah?" asked Sera. "Did something bad to our friend?"

Shadow sighed. "Yes. But he claims he's trying to earn forgiveness."

Sera blew a raspberry and said, "Needs to be knocked down a little first, right? Lose some of that high and mightiness about him."

Shadow gave the elf girl a smile. "That might help."

A few days after leaving the Hinterlands on their journey back to Skyhold, they settled near a small river for the night. As the Chargers set up the camp, Shadow noticed Dorian make his way closer to the river and sit himself on a rock, his staff resting against his shoulder. He hadn't spoken of what occurred in Redcliffe yet and no one had pushed him to, but Shadow wondered if perhaps he might be willing to tonight. She made eye contact with Bull and Cassandra, indicated where she was going and then joined him, sitting on a fallen log next to him. For a few minutes, the two of them sat side by side in silence, staring into the running water now illuminated by the camp fires behind them.

"He says we're alike," Dorian eventually said. "Too much pride. Once I would have been overjoyed to hear him say that. Now I'm not certain." He looked down at his hands while Shadow remained silent, allowing him to continue at his own pace. "I don't know if I can forgive him." He fisted his hands. "The blood ritual he planned to perform, it could've left me a drooling vegetable. Not to mention the number of slaves who would've died." He glanced at Shadow. "It takes a lot of blood to alter a mind. It crushed me to think he found that absurd risk preferable to scandal. Part of me has always hoped he didn't really want to go through with it. If he had…" Dorian closed his eyes in grief. "I can't even imagine the person I would be now. I wouldn't like that Dorian. You wouldn't either."

Shadow smiled. "No doubt. I much prefer the Dorian that haunts Skyhold's library, protests all things Ferelden, and," she nudged his shoulder, "has become the closest friend I've ever had."

Dorian returned her smile. "To be fair, two of those I would've done either way."

They sat in comfortable silence some more before Shadow spoke again. "Will you two continue to talk? I'm sure we could find a way to keep your messages private from even Leliana." We could ask Mother Giselle, she mentally added.

Dorian shrugged. "We can try. It's a start after all. Past that though, I'm not sure." He turned to face her completely. "Thank you for bringing me out there. It wasn't what I expected but… it was something."

Shadow nodded and something back at camp caught her eye. She watched as Sera began to argue with Dalish, no doubt about her "bow". The Inquisitor smiled. "Sera stole his breeches."

Dorian looked first at her in surprise and then back towards the camp at the elf. "Did she really?"

Shadow chuckled. "Snuck into his camp that night before we left the Hinterlands and snatched them as he slept. All of them."

"She is a strange one, possibly the strangest in our little group. I should thank her." He let out a loud laugh, the first genuine laugh in days. "The man must've been mortified when he tried to dress that next morning." Another few minutes of quiet thinking settled between the two, though Dorian occasionally let out a chuckle as he pictured his father discovering all of his pants were gone. Then he seemed to suddenly remember something and turned to Shadow. "You know, it just occurred to me that this whole time I've been so focused on me that I never asked how your first meeting with the rather handsome Lord Trevelyan and his well-aged Templar uncle went." When Shadow didn't answer, didn't even smile at his jest, he sighed in understanding. "That bad?"

Shadow hid her face in her hands, muffling her voice as she answered, "I ran." She looked back up. "It was going… well not perfect but okay for a bit there but then…"

"Then?" Dorian encouraged.

"Waylon got upset when we explained that we wished to keep it all a secret and demanded that I return to the Free Marchers with him, confront our father and reveal to the whole of Thedas who I am."

"You said 'our'."

"They are my flesh and blood, there is no doubt in my mind about that," Shadow firmly said then sighed. "I'm just not ready to…"

"Tell the rest of the world? Confront the Bann Trevelyan?" Dorian suggested.

"Both."

"Well, it was fairly inconsiderate of him to try and take our fearless leader away from us. What with crazy Tevinter Magisters stirring up trouble. Not to mention the problem with Corypheus." Shadow snorted. "So this trip was also a way to avoid speaking with him?"

Shadow's eyes widened and she quickly turned to him. "No, no, no! This was all about you! Well, initially it was. I hadn't even thought that until I talked with my advisors and Josephine accused me of the same thing. Then it partly became part of the reason to go to Redcliffe because I really wasn't ready to speak with him again but I swear, this whole journey was mostly about you. I haven't hardly thought of the Trevelyans for the past week!"

Dorian shook her shoulder and tried to calm her. "Shadow, it's okay. I know you did all of this for me and honestly, if you got something for yourself out of my family drama, it would make me feel much better and a little less selfish." She took a deep breath and smiled apologetically. "So, are you going to speak with them again or go with my original plan with how to deal with problems and ignore them until they leave?"

Shadow shook her head. "No, I need to speak with them. Ignoring them wouldn't solve anything. Actually I decided that right before I told you to talk with your father. No, I need to sit my brothers and uncle down and explain everything."

"Everything?"

"My time in Tevinter, my escape, the problems that could arise if they were to discover what I've become." She looked down at her arms, bare since her sleeves were rolled up. "Everything."

Dorian took her hands into his and smiled at her. "It'll be fine. They appear to be good people, despite some of your other relatives, and they will no doubt understand and respect your wishes. Of course, I may be a bit bias. The men in your family are very pleasing to the eye."

Shadow laughed, "Dorian!"

He patted her cheek. "And the women of course if you're anything to go by."

She pushed him away. "Dorian, we're related remember? You told me that yourself!"

He waved a hand dismissively. "Distantly. We happen to reside in the same large family tree and share one leaf that is so many generations removed, he was no doubt long dead before either of our great-great grandparents were even born. We're kissing cousins."

"I'm not sure that means what you think it means."

"It means whatever I want it too."

Shadow shoved him off his rock.

LostSpace: Wow, super sorry about how much longer this took to post. I totally said I would get this up faster and that just didn't happen. I really need to stop promising deadlines for my updates, I don't think I've been on time in well forever!

Marika Haliwell: Thank you for your review! And the suggestions. I really liked that last one. :) Might just keep that in mind for when the confrontation with the Bann eventually happens.