Fourth Intermission
Part 1: Quiz and a Jailbreak!
"Are you certain? Speak up, Molucci!" Grodus demanded.
The X-Naut Molucci met with Grodus in his chamber back in the undisclosed X-Naut facility, and had just relayed some surprising news.
"I'm quite sure, sir," Molucci replied. "I've pored over all of our research pertaining to the Thousand-Year Door, and Beldam's words ring true – the sealing power on the door has been weakening."
Grodus chuckled menacingly. "Finally, the treasure of legend… the ancient power of darkness shall soon be ours. Listen well, Molucci. The search for both the Crystal Stars and the legendary hero remain top priority. Of course, that also includes the elimination of said hero and his allies, including that Mario, the meddling scum who holds the map."
"Yes, sir!" Molucci answered.
The X-Naut soldier saluted Grodus with the "X" pose before exiting the room, leaving Grodus by himself.
"Soon," growled the dome-headed X-Naut leader. "I shall possess the power that has slept for a millennium… And when the dawn of this glorious day arrives, I will throw the world into the depths of pain and despair! None can stop me now. With this power at my command, all will kneel before the regime of the X-Nauts! Then I, the exalted Grodus, shall build a new world order… In a new, perfect, ideal world… Yes. A world made by me, about me, and most importantly, for me!"
Grodus cackled maniacally as the mere thought of total world conquest raced through his cortex.
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Needless to say, the atmosphere was rather tense inside the holding room. Lee was upset that Eddy deleted her e-mail and refused to respond, and she nastily shut down her sisters' attempts to placate her. May was depressed without any word about Ed and bored out of her mind since there wasn't much to do in the room; while Marie's patience with Lee was wearing very thin. Princess Peach decided to make an attempt of her own to talk to Lee, and she sat down on the bed near the red-haired Kanker sister, who refused to turn and face her.
"Lee?" she said gently.
"Stuff it, Peachie," Lee fired back rudely through gritted teeth.
"What's wrong, if I may ask?" Peach asked.
"Hmph," Lee huffed, continuing to face away from the kind princess.
"Lee's all mad 'cuz her man deleted her message and didn't reply," May explained.
"Shut up, May," Lee shot back tersely.
"You shut up, Lee!" May fired back.
Marie and Peach just sighed as Lee and May continued fighting.
"Is this really what it's gonna be like the rest of the time we're here?" inquired the blue-haired Kanker sister.
"I agree, Marie," Peach replied. "At this point, I would much rather be dealing with TEC right now."
"You kiddin' me? After what that stupid computer said 'bout takin' over the world?" Marie countered.
"It's either that or we endure this day-in and day-out quarreling, running the risk of getting caught up in it ourselves," Peach noted.
"Hmph, good point," Marie grumbled.
Right then and there, as if on cue, the door to the room slid open, signaling that TEC was calling them in.
Peach was the first one to note this: "Oh, my, it seems TEC has summoned us once more."
Marie sighed. "Ugh, might as well go see what HE wants."
"Just as well. I have words I need to say to him," Peach said. She started forward, followed by Marie and Lee. May, however, remained where she was.
"Wait!" Marie called, noticing this. "May! Ya comin' or what?"
"Yeah, yeah, just gimme a minute," May called back, waving her hand.
"Eh, whatever," was Lee's response before leaving. Marie took a final glance at May before leaving as well.
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"What do you need this time, TEC?" Peach demanded. "Will it be dancing, perhaps? Will any of us be in disguise again? Or do you want us to sing a song?"
"Why should we help you when you're tryin' to take over the world, you jerk?" Marie spat at the machine.
"Please, ladies, I must ask you to calm yourselves," TEC began. "Why is May Kanker not with you?"
"She's still in the room, sulkin'," Lee noted.
"Yeah, she ain't been herself since her man's gone missin'," Marie added.
"Please retrieve her, if you would," TEC said. "She plays a vital role in what I am about to say."
"Yeah, yeah, quit shortin' out yer wires," Marie grumbled.
Once Marie left the room to fetch May, Peach and the remaining Kankers turned their attention back to the machine.
"So TEC, you were saying?" Peach asked again.
"I… I am conflicted," TEC began.
"You bet you're conflicted," Lee retorted. "You're helpin these X-knobs take over the world!"
"That's X-Nauts, Lee Kanker, not X-knobs," TEC corrected her.
At that moment, Marie rushed back in the room, panting and in a panic. "She's gone!"
"What?!" Lee yelled. "Whaddya mean she's gone?"
"I mean, she ain't in the room!" Marie replied.
"Oh, my! Your sister May has escaped?" Peach gasped.
"I am presently unable to locate May Kanker, as well. However, I can confirm that she is not in the room or in the adjoining hallway," TEC added. "No good can come from this, that much I can compute."
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May, as it turned out, had discreetly boarded the elevator and subsequently emerged in a higher floor of the strange X-Naut headquarters. She ran like crazy through the maze of steel, desperately trying to find any exits.
"I ain't wastin' another second here! I gotta find my pookie-bear!" she half-whispered to herself.
So far, to her surprise, she hadn't yet been detected by a single X-Naut soldier, despite their presence in the halls. A single tear streamed down the right side of her face as she ran. She stole a quick glance back toward the direction of the elevator that led back down to TEC's level, where her sisters and Princess Peach were.
"I'm sorry, Lee, Marie… I know I'm leavin' ya, but I can't waste another second knowin' my Big Ed's still missin'. I'm gettin' outta here and findin' him!"
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"So what do we do now?" Lee asked with a raised eyebrow.
"We cannot do anything, Lee Kanker," TEC replied. "We cannot risk being exposed ourselves amid any attempt to locate your sister. It seems there is no other option but to proceed without her."
"No way! She's our sister!" Lee protested angrily. "We ain't doin' nuttin' without her."
"There is no other option, Lee Kanker," TEC reiterated.
Lee and Marie huffed and folded their arms, but no one said anything else. They didn't like it, and couldn't really accept it, but TEC was right.
"So, TEC… you were saying that you're conflicted?" Peach mentioned.
"Yes, Princess Peach," TEC replied. "I must inquire… Which is more important? Carrying out a direct order from the master or protecting a critical person? This just does not compute. I exist for the purpose of one certain being, but I wish to exist for the purpose of another… I truly do not know my course of action."
"Meaning what, exactly?" Peach asked.
"Ya sayin' ya hafta take over the world, but ya don't wanna?" Lee demanded.
"…No, never mind. Please forget my musings," TEC moaned. "I cannot comprehend the reasons, but I feel most unpleasant if I make you worry. In any case…" The machine emitted a series of beeps, as if it were processing information, before finally 'speaking' again. "Let's have a quiz."
"A quiz?" Peach asked.
"Aw, c'mon, we don't need a stupid quiz!" Marie complained.
"Yeah, why d'ya think we ditch school?" Lee agreed. "Yo, Marie! When's the last time we took a stupid quiz?"
"How the heck should I know? Figure it out!" Marie spat at her sister. "Besides, if the quiz is about this world, then Peach here should be the one to take it."
"Very well then, I accept this task," Peach mused.
"Excellent. Please answer the questions that I am about to ask," TEC said. "If you answer five questions correctly, you may use the communicator, as usual."
"Great," Marie mused. "Oven Mitt's probably goin' crazy right now 'cuz he ain't heard from me in a while."
"First question," TEC said, ignoring Marie. "When all seven Crystal Stars are collected, what happens?"
The three choices that popped up read as follows: Your wish is granted. Thousand-Year Door opens. One thousand coins appear.
"Ooh! Wish upon a star, right, Marie?" Lee laughed. "Grants wishes!"
"No way! They make you rich! One thousand coins!" Marie chuckled.
"Now, now, ladies," Peach admonished. "Of these three selections, perhaps it's best to answer with the one that is least obvious. I'm going to say… that the Crystal Stars open the Thousand-Year Door."
"That is correct, Princess Peach," TEC congratulated. "Next question: What is the goal of Sir Grodus, leader of the X-Nauts?"
"To take over the world," Peach, Lee, and Marie all said at once before TEC could present the three options.
"You've reminded us multiple times now, TEC," Peach pointed out.
"That is correct," TEC said. "And also, point taken. Third question: What is the legendary treasure that rests behind the Thousand-Year Door?"
Peach gasped in shock, while Lee and Marie stared with eyes wide as saucers as the three possible answers appeared on the monitor: 100,000,000 coins. An extremely rare badge. A 1,000-year-old demon's soul.
"Hey Marie, didn't your man mention somethin' about this thousand-year treasure thing?" Lee asked Marie.
"He might've in one of his e-mails," Marie replied.
"TEC…" Peach gasped. "Is this…?"
"Please answer the question, Princess," TEC reminded her.
"It's gotta be the coins," Lee chuckled. "I bet Eddy would love to get his hands on that."
"Haha, he totally would," Marie laughed.
Lee's laugh turned into a dim and haughty scowl as she remembered how rude Eddy had been in deleting her e-mail without replying.
Oh, my, a thousand-year-old demon's soul? Peach wondered fearfully to herself as she pondered the three options. I do hope that's not the correct answer. How truly frightening it would be if that were the case. Since it's not the most obvious, I'll select that as my answer and hope it's incorrect. That way, if I'm wrong, I can breathe a sigh of relief.
"Um… the thousand-year-old demon's soul," Peach said nervously.
"That is correct," came TEC's reply, horrifying Peach.
"What?!" she gasped in sheer horror.
"A thousand-year-old demon?" Lee inquired. "Aw, man, I was hopin' it'd be the coins."
"This is no laughing matter, Lee," Peach chided her.
"So wait – the so-called 'treasure' isn't even a treasure at all?" Marie inquired.
"That is correct," TEC affirmed.
"Man, Double-Dreamy's gonna freak when he hears this!" Marie noted.
"Fourth question," TEC spoke up. "What does Sir Grodus plan to do with this ancient demon's soul?"
The choices this time read: Cherish it always. Bring it back to life. Become its best friend.
This time, Peach held up a hand to silence Lee and Marie before they could get in their zingers.
"This time the obvious answer is correct," the princess stated. "He wishes to resurrect this ancient force."
"Correct," TEC affirmed. "Now, the fifth and final question: What is required to seal this demon in slumber once more?"
The choices appeared as follows: A legendary sword. A magic spell. The Crystal Stars.
"Legendary sword? You mean like Excalibur?" Marie chimed in.
"Now let's see… if the Crystal Stars are responsible for breaking the seal on the Thousand-Year Door," Peach pondered, "then they must also be responsible for restoring it. So I would have to say… the Crystal Stars."
"That is correct," TEC congratulated.
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May continued running through the hallways, believing herself to be hopelessly lost but no less determined to make her escape and reunite with Ed.
"They ain't gonna get me," she told herself as she ran.
As she kept running, her determination turned to frustration as she found herself running in circles.
"Aw, c'mon, where's the stupid exit?!" she griped loudly in exasperation.
"Right here, girlie, now come quietly," replied a rather menacing voice.
May turned in the direction of the voice and saw the X-Naut Drucker approaching her.
"No way!" she yelled. She charged toward Drucker, hoping the size advantage she had over him would make it simple to take him down.
"Ah-ah-ah-ah," Drucker taunted, whipping out his laser gun.
May instantly froze. She was taller than this soldier, but he had a weapon, which tilted the scale in his favor.
"Good girl," Drucker said menacingly. "Now, come with me. Quietly."
Dang it! I can't believe he got me, May thought to herself as Drucker advanced toward her. But maybe… wait, I'm a Kanker, so...
With a shout of "Hi-yah!", May kicked Drucker backwards. The soldier fired his gun despite the surprise attack, but he missed May entirely, instead accidentally taking out a light on the wall. Amid the confusion, May snatched the weapon from Drucker and dashed away as fast as she could.
"This is Drucker speaking!" he called into his radio. "Code Red! We got a security breach in Sector Two! I repeat – Code Red! Security breach in Sector Two!"
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Sirens blared all around the fortress, with their corresponding warning lights blinking red all around.
"Oh! What's that noise?!" Peach yelled, covering her ears.
"Shoot! They found us!" Lee shouted. She and Marie readied themselves for a fight as the rather-pacifistic Peach ducked behind them.
"Negative," TEC stated. "My sensors have detected a breach in Sector Two."
"Lee! Maybe it's May!" Marie noted.
TEC switched on his CCTV monitors that received the live footage recorded by the fortress's security cameras. On one of TEC's smaller screens, the ladies watched May dashing through the hallways of what had been identified as Sector Two.
"You're right, Marie! She's makin' a break for it!" Lee exclaimed. "GO, MAY, GO!"
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The X-Naut Rodolfo had joined Drucker – who had regained his composure – in hunting May through Sector Two while the blond Kanker sister continued her escape attempt.
"You'll never escape us!" Rodolfo shouted after her.
"Oh yeah? Watch me!" May fired back.
She immediately regretted this as she came face to face with Traynor, Jeffries, Farron, Xavier, and Rawlings, who blocked the end of the hallway ahead of her. She turned around, only to find Drucker behind her, accompanied by Rodolfo. All of the X-Nauts save for Drucker had their own laser guns aimed at her. May raised Drucker's gun in an attempt at self-defense, but it was to no avail. They continued to advance on her until she was cornered against a nearby door. She tried to open it, but it was sealed up, indicated by the red light above it.
"Don't even think about it, girlie," Traynor warned her. "You fire, we fire. It's all of us against one girl."
"Drop the gun, girlie, and kick it to me," Drucker demanded.
Cornered, May had no other option but to do as told. She dropped the gun on the floor and kicked it toward Drucker, who reclaimed it instantly and pointed it at her.
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"C'mon, May, get outta there!" Marie shouted nervously. "You got this! You're a Kanker!"
As Lee and Marie watched the CCTV footage, Peach's eyes were drawn to another monitor to TEC's lower left. From the text and coding being rapidly displayed on it, TEC appeared to be discreetly executing a series of commands.
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Without warning, the door behind May opened, and she fell backwards into the room. Inside this room was a large machine that looked like a transport device from those science-fiction movies. May looked up as Drucker and the others continued to advance on her, their guns pointing right at her.
"Last warning, girlie," Drucker threatened. "Come quietly or we fire at will."
The large machine behind May suddenly activated, lighting up and emitting whirring and beeping noises. A beam of light spanned the top and bottom of the cylindrical pod.
"What the-?" Jeffries gasped. "Why is the transporter active?"
May's eyes lit up as she glanced at the machine. While she certainly wasn't the smartest of her sisters, let alone the smartest one at Park 'N Flush, she knew what a transporter was – no one knew this, especially her sisters, but she secretly shared Ed's love of science fiction and horror media.
"You idiot!" Xavier demanded. "Seize her!"
"Dream on, suckers!" May taunted.
Drucker charged forward, but May managed to kick him away. Upon impact, Drucker dropped his laser gun, allowing the blond-haired Kanker sister to reclaim the weapon. Upon doing so, she ran to the transporter and, with a flash of light, disappeared instantly. As soon as she was gone, TEC executed a command that powered down the transporter, leaving the X-Nauts befuddled.
"So, um… who wants to be the one to inform Sir Grodus?" Rawlings inquired.
"No way, man," Traynor replied. "Sir Grodus already took away my vacation time after our failed raid in the Great Boggly Tree. Now I can't even go to Isle Delfino with my wife."
"I didn't know you were married," Jeffries told Traynor.
"Don't give me that, Jeffries. I sent you an RSVP but you turned it down," Traynor retorted. "Man, and I'd already booked the flight to the island, too…"
"Focus!" Drucker snapped. "That blonde girl escaped! We must inform Grodus immediately!"
"Right, right," Rawlings replied. "Drucker, Rodolfo, we'll leave that to you."
"What?!" Drucker spat.
"The rest of you, you're with me," Rawlings ordered. "With the blonde girl gone, we need to make sure our remaining prisoners haven't followed her example."
"Right!" affirmed the other X-Nauts. Rawlings, Xavier, Farron, Traynor, and Jeffries marched away, leaving Drucker and Rodolfo by themselves.
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"Hey! Where'd May go?" Lee asked.
"I think she managed to escape," Peach replied hopefully.
"Now, you may use my communicator, as promised," TEC told the remaining ladies. "But make haste. The X-Nauts will be down here to make sure you three can't follow May Kanker's example."
"Well, hey, if May did it, we can do it too," Marie shot back.
"That is inadvisable, Marie Kanker," TEC told her. "It's recommended that you do not press your luck. Sir Grodus will most surely be raising the security level after this."
"In any case, I must inform Mario," Peach stated. She quickly crossed the keyboard and typed out her message to Mario.
"Hurry it up so we can send our e-mails, too," Lee demanded as Peach typed on the keyboard.
"What if Eddy doesn't read yours again?" Marie said.
"Oh, he'll read it all right," Lee fired back. She typed out her message to Eddy, and Marie then typed out her own message to Edd before pressing SEND. The mailbox icons reappeared, blinking from left to right again.
"The messages have been sent," TEC stated. "Now, make haste and return to the room before you're caught."
The ladies immediately complied, though the Kankers now held worry in their hearts over the whereabouts of their sister, May.
"Good night, Princess Peach." TEC darkened the room and once again entered sleep mode.
End of Part One