Nathaniel Mattingly 18, District 2.
"Let's move to the shore," Nates voice is commanding and the others get up off of the scarlet ground. Several wince as they start down a hill, being careful not to slip on the jagged rocks. In the distance, long hair ducks into a grove of trees. But none of the Careers notice it. Preoccupied with their own thoughts and arrogance that no one would dare take them on. An arrogance slightly less pronounced since the bloodbath.
They help each other down the rocks. Showing a bizarre show for those who should be at the top of the Games. "So, whos not injured?" Weiss asks, smirking slightly
"I'm not," Blake boasts, puffing his chest out.
"I'm mostly not," Esme replies softly. She is staring at the sword in her hands. It's covered in still wet blood. She no longer thinks about how she almost died from mistrust. Instead, her mind is on the girl that she ended the life of. Nausea rolls from her stomach when she climbs down, past the head. It's far away from the body.
Nate, Ace, and Carolyn stay quiet. Blood dripping to the rocks underneath them from the injuries they have sustained. Cassia does not reply, seemingly not hearing the question. The body that Blake drowned has sunk to the bottom of the water, she ran a fair distance out. The hovercraft should be able to grasp her bloated remains.
"That's three and a half out of seven," Ace laughs despite his injury.
"At least we got all of the kills," Carolyn growls. She has entered the water, sitting in the shallow bed she cups some of the water in her hands and is using it to wash the cut on her face. Wincing as the salt gets into the gash.
The other Tributes quickly join her. The water turning slightly pink from the blood that is being drained from warm bodies into it. Ace winces as he picks gravel out of the gash on his shoulder, Nate starts to do the same to himself. A stony silence surrounds them, heavier than it should be for triumphant Careers. No one died. None feel like celebrating, the adrenaline from the kills has since died and has left this moment. What remains is a group of hurt teenagers.
"Your little pet here got a kill Blake," Weiss says nonchalantly. She has not gone into the water. Instead, she sits on the rocky shore. Her boots off she has placed her feet in the water, it is clear as a mirror in front of her. No traces of the blood coming from the other Tributes. She stares up at the artificial sky.
"She did?" Blake asks loudly, he looks over to Esme. She does not meet his eyes. Staring down at her hands underneath of the water she tries to wash the non-existent blood off of them. But these hands will never be clean again.
"The heads over there," Weiss explains.
Blake bursts out laughing, a roar that should not be heard inside of the arena. There's humor in it, sure, but beneath it is something dark. Something powerful, this Tribute has tasted what it is like to end another's life. And unlike Esme, they enjoyed it more than can be comprehended.
"I told you she was a good idea," Blake boasts wading over to Esme he wraps an arm around her shoulder. She smiles up at him, it's as fake as the sky above them. He leans into her, his lips practically touching her ear. "You know, now you've made your confession at the interviews we can get up to all kinds of stuff." He tells her in a voice as thick as caramel.
She looks up, but not at him. A hovercraft can be seen above them. A high pitched sound only a couple of the Careers can hear comes with it. They all watch as metal claws come down to pick up the bodies that have been left on the jagged rocks. There is a silence so thick even Blake does not try to break it.
"How many were there?" Nate asks, his voice low.
"Seven."
Callum Lennon, 18, District 3.
Callum was next to Talia when the platforms rose. The first lucky thing that has happened inside of these Games. When the bloodbath started he grabbed her hand and they ran on a thin path he saw to the right of the cone-shaped mountains. It was a windy path, made precarious by the large backpack that Callum managed to grab on his way away.
At some points, they were many meters above the harsh sea. Barbed rocks could be seen underneath them as they climbed higher and higher on the mountain. Then they started to descend again, falling lower and lower they were brought back to the sea level behind the mountains. Sweat dripping off of their bodies.
They started hearing voices carried on the bitter wind a few minutes ago. Despite their jackets, they shiver in its frigid breeze. Freezing for a moment on the opposite end of the path they catch their breath. Callum feels pride at how well Talia is doing, she has not batted an eyelid at the harsh terrain.
"Look, over there!" Talia points to a dark spot next to a couple of lethal-looking rocks. Callum strains his eyes to try and make out what she has seen. It's an opening.
They take a long look at each other, adrenaline has made their hands shake and their minds foggy with ideas. Too many. The voices behind them carry yet again and they seem to be getting louder. Callum does not know what he has grabbed in his backpack and currently, they are both unarmed. They have not had a moment to stop yet, their only goal to get away. To do it quickly.
"You're sure?" He asks Talia, taking a deep breath. He trusts her intuition more than her own.
She looks at him with finally frightened eyes. The reality of the Games getting to her with the threat of other Tributes nearby. Maybe they could be trusted, maybe not, the pair is not prepared to take that risk. "We don't have another choice," she tells him.
Callum nods, squeezing her hand they rush over to the opening of the cave. The ground has smoothed here, while the mountain remains rocky and ready to bite at flesh. The ground is made of large flat stones, they are warm underneath the Tributes feet despite the thick boots. Callum takes a moment to feel its warmth, wondering what the cave has to hide.
Talia enters the cave first, not looking back. Callum can't quite bring himself to do the same as her. He looks behind him for a moment before taking another step in. At the crashing waves on the shore, at the momentous mountains creating the cove, at the large flat rocks. Then he turns his body, taking a deep breath to try and steady himself.
The cave slopes downward. The entrance has to be squeezed through, Callum scrapes his jacket against the edges, slightly too narrow for his shoulders. But once he gets inside the passageway is wide enough for the two of them to walk side by side. They link hands again as they descend into the belly of the arena.
Quickly, the darkness of the cave becomes too much for their eyes and they have to stop for a break, unable to see the rough ground in front. Talia reaches out, wrapping her body around Callum's he hugs her back. "I'm scared," she whispers to him as they wait for their eyes to adjust.
"I'm scared too," Callum admits. His hands still shake terribly. It is no longer from the adrenaline of the bloodbath, but instead of the reality of witnessing death. He wonders how many Tributes have died. We won't be able to see the projection he thinks to himself gloomily.
Yet, maybe it is a blessing. He won't have to see how many Tributes were killed. How many lives were snuffed out by better-trained Tributes. But he won't be able to see how close he is to winning. He shakes that thought from his mind roughly.
How close Talia is to winning.
Willow Ashes, 16, District 7.
Nirvana groans in pain, his leg dragging roughly on the smooth ground. "Almost there," Willow tells him, trying to make her voice sound optimistic. Though in all truth she has no idea where the there is. She only knows it to be away from the bloodbath.
He just groans again. She lead him down the first path they could find. Around the large cone-shaped mountains, it was tricky terrain and done at a much slower pace than the two Tributes in front of them. It was only because of Nirvana's loud voice did the two other Tributes think these ones were right on their tail. In all reality, they have been descending into the cave for a decent amount of time by the time the other two caught up. But eventually, Willow and Nirvana did make it to the other side. With no clue at how close they were to meet up with another District pair.
Willow spots a slight groove in the side of the harsh mountain and leads Nirvana over to it. About a hundred meters away water beats harshly at the smooth rocks that the Tributes are now standing on. They are essentially trapped as the opening of the cave seems to of disappeared, or maybe in Willows stress, she does not notice the darker patch of ground marking its entrance.
Nirvana pants up at her, moaning for help at the pain in his leg. Willow finds a brief moment of humor in the whole situation, the boy who has been so cold and superior is now begging for help. Willow knows that his injury surely will hurt, but his attitude is making it out like he is dying. Hell, maybe he is, Willow only knows the crudest medical advice. All taught to her watching previous Games.
She managed to snag a backpack before running from the bloodbath, hiding out she waited for Nirvana. She saw the girl from Four help him and has no idea why she seemed like one of the worst of the bunch. But now is not the time to be questioning the motives for the others, if she still wants an ally she will need to do something quickly.
Inside of her backpack she finds a large knife, some strips of meat, a spare jacket, some extra socks, a line of fishing wire, a canteen full of water, a lighter, a large needle, a bandage, and a teddy bear. She looks at the bear in disgust, of course, the Capitol would find humor in something so useless. At least she has some water.
She goes to take a drink of the water, opening the canteen it's only when she brings it to her mouth does she recognize a sharp scent. She jerks t away, some droplets hitting her pants her heart starts to beat fast again. She doesn't know what is in this canteen. "Can I have some?" Nirvana rasps, he is lying down on the flat stones. Panting, sweat drips down his face in the bucketloads. Willow looks shakily toward him.
"It's not water," she explains. She is ready to fling the Canteen away and cure the Gamemakers for what they have given her. Surely it is poison, designed to injure Tributes too desperate or distracted to notice the scent coming from it. It is like nothing Willow has ever smelled before, it smells like chemicals.
Nirvana looks annoyed, "pass it here," he tells her. Trying to prop his body up against the mountainside. It's still rough but not jagged like further up, it's almost gravel here. Willow rolls her eyes, annoyed at the boy's stubbornness despite his injuries she hands the canteen over. As she does so she notices how bloody his hands are.
She doesn't know how he got so injured, his chest and arms bloody as well as dark spots in his pants where she assumes blood has pooled too. The knife is the biggest thing of concern, but it has stayed embedded in his flesh. It acts as a plug on a sink, keeping the blood inside of him. When it is removed the blood will be able to flow. Willow knows that she needs to get this right. Then Nirvana erupts in an almost joyful laughter, the canteen to his nose. "What is it?" Willow asks.
"It's vodka! Not poison," Nirvana chortles as he takes the canteen to his lips. After he has taken a gulp of it he smiles, "nature's pain relief." He jokes before taking another gulp. Willow looks at him in confusion, surely the last thing he should be doing here is getting drunk. But then something else clicks.
"Don't drink it all!" She shrieks, lunching over she snatches the canteen out of Nirvana's hands. Some joke the Gamemakers pulled, they must be laughing. "We can use it as a disinfectant," she explains. Marc's mother did that when he fell out of a tree one time, poured Vodka all over his deeply grazed hands.
"We need to take your pants off," Willow explains to Nirvana. Then they can see how deep the knife has embedded itself. See how to get it out.
"Won't be the first time," Nirvana jokes back. Willow turns bright pink in a blush and does not meet his gaze. Instead, she starts to carefully pull his pants down. When she gets to his mid-thigh Nirvana shouts out in pain. She will not be able to stretch the pants over top of the knife. She gets the knife out of her backpack and slices from the top of Nirvana's pants to where the knife sits in his flesh then pulls the two sides apart, effectively avoiding the knife embedded in his leg. She then continues to tug at the pants.
Nirvana has a huge grin on his face but Willow does not see it, concentrating fully on her work. When the pants are on the ground next to them does Willow look back at the knife. The veins around his leg are dark and swollen, his skin puffy from the blood trapped underneath. But luckily for both of them, the knife has missed any veins.
Willow closes her eyes for a moment, she knows that something similar happened in the Games a couple of years ago. Yes, it happened to the girl who ended up Victor. The thought gives her enough of a confidence boost to stretch her mind to the forgotten memory. They pulled the knife out then sewed it up, stitching, Willow's mother has done it to her clothes numerous times. Willow curses her breath, she never bothered to learn.
She smirks as she eyes the teddy bear, picking it up she hands it to a confused Nirvana. "This is going to hurt, a lot. Bite down on that. We can't give our position away." She instructs him as she picks up the fishing line and needle that she found in the backpack.
Taking a deep breath she moves her hands towards the knife. They shake as they grip the handle, Nirvana's skin is warm underneath her shivering body. "On three," Willow explains, yet again not meeting Nirvana's eyes.
"One...Two...Three…" The teddy bear barely muffles Nirvana's screams.
Kalista Stone, 17, District 9.
Woods. Kalista told the alliance that they were going to find the woods after they ran away from the Cornucopia. Her one track mind had not thought of another option, but luck was in her favor. Maybe these Games are luckier than any of the Tributes thought. Or maybe it's beginners luck on the first day.
She waded over water, splashing about her only aim was to get away from the bloodbath before the Careers spotted her. A sliver of blood runs from her collarbone down her arm and then drips off her index finger into the water. It's a painful injury, inflicted by one of the Careers she was too busy dodging out of the way from to look at their face. She thinks it was one of the girls though, whoever it was was uninjured. Despite the pain, she has the biggest grin on her face the Games have seen so far. She has her scythe.
The water was mostly shallow on her way. The pants the Tributes were given create a waterproof seal. But her upper half is wet, she fell off several sandbanks on her way to the island with trees. Flailing around in the water she has just about grasped the basics of how to swim, she hopes that her allies will of been able to navigate the choppy water too. She's relying on her alliance.
Ducking through the cover of trees the scent of decaying leaves immediately hits her nostrils. The scent is the first familiar thing she has come across since setting foot in the arena and she is overjoyed with her weapon and the familiarity. So overjoyed she almost does not hear a twig cracking behind her. Almost.
She spins around a moment later than intended, her scythe raised she is ready to attack whoever is near. The figure is hard to see underneath the dark canopy, poised to attack also the two figures are locked in a tension of not being able to see the others face. It is only when a third figure appears does the tension break, his bulky build and curly hair is recognizable anywhere and the two girls both relax in his presence.
"Calm down guys, we are allies, right? The large figure says, taking a step forward into the light Ollies face appears. Kalista relaxes, lowering her scythe she nods. Caroline does the same after another moment, lowering a machete.
Kalista's eyes rise when she sees all that Caroline carries. It's like she looted the Careers dry. A large hiking backpack sits over her shoulders and items dangle off of it, tied in rushed knots they cling haphazardly. She holds a machete in one hand, in the other is a canteen she takes a long drink out of. Must be water.
"What did you do?" Ollie asks her, admiration in his voice. He is unarmed, holding nothing in either of his hands and an absence of a backpack it's obvious to see he ran straight for the trees. No one blames him.
"Grabbed what I thought we could use," Caroline explains. There is a moment of uneasy silence before Ollie looks to Kalista's face, it has paled. She tries to smile back, but her skin seems too shiny.
Ollies eyes go wide as Kalita collapses, her mind going into a foggy daze she does not even realize that she has hit the ground. Her back resting against an ancient looking tree. He rushes to look her over, trying to find out what could be the cause. He quickly finds the long gash on her collarbone, cursing whoever did it Ollie looks over to where Caroline still stands.
"Give me your medical supplies," Ollie commands. After a moment silently staring back at him, Caroline grabs a bright red first aid kit out of her back and throws it to Ollie. Still standing a fair distance away she merely observes as Ollie threads a needle with sterile string and stitches up the gash.
Once he is done is smothers the stitches with a thick dark liquid he has forgotten the name of but knows wards off infections. He then wraps the arm in a sterile white bandage with another layer overtop with a waterproof sheet that he found in the kit. When he is done he wipes the sweat off of his forehead before searching Kalista for other injuries, now is not a time for modesty. He finds a graze on her knee and elbows so disinfects them also, but nothing else life-threatening.
"How did you learn to do that?" Caroline asks him, her voice monotone.
Confliction can be seen on Ollie's face. It is what Dwayne did to him to nurse him back to health. It is what he has had to help other men with that have been attacked by Peacekeepers because of their profession. Or ones that have not done quite everything that the Capitol residents have requested from them.
"Just part of the job," Ollie jokes. "We need to find somewhere safe to rest until she gains her strength again. Can you lead the way?" He asks Caroline as he squats down, throwing Kalista over his shoulder like a sack he stands again, not really minding having to carry her weight.
Caroline does not reply, she just starts walking deeper into the forest. Her machete glinting in the rapidly falling sun.
Poppy Northrop, 15, District 11.
Harvest has been babbling since they stumbled their way from the cornucopia. A dark trail of stones just underneath the water made bridge not quite visible until extremely close. They stumbled on the rocks. Once Poppy fell off of them and found herself in water impossibly deep. She flailed around until Harvest was able to help her back out despite his pain. Eventually, they reached the other side, a rocky shore with millions and millions of colorful pebbles. An impossible moment of beauty in such a horrible situation. The pebbles were colors of blues, reds, pinks, golds any color that could ever be imagined.
The two of them took a moment to admire where they had found themselves. Until the cannons started to fire. They collapsed onto the beach as they listened to the booms above then. The sound seems to echo in every crevice of the arena. It's the loudest sound that Poppy has ever heard.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
Boom.
The seven Cannons mark the seven lives that have been lost already. Both Poppy and Harvest are thinking the same thing, how close they came to be one of the sounds. How they witnessed the girl from Twelve meeting the same fate.
Poppy looks over in alarm to Harvest. "Show me your arm," she tells him. He loops sheepishly toward her, embarrassed that he has let himself be injured he sticks out his arm. Some of the cut has started clotting, but the majority of it runs crimson. Splashing on the colorful rocks beneath them.
Poppy opens the large duffle bag slung around Harvests neck. Her eyes lighting up when she spots a medical bag. She takes one of the bandages that she remembers being taught about during training, with one of these they will not need to risk stitches and the infection that can come from allowing them to become unsterile.
She wraps Harvests arm as tightly as she can in the bandage just as the Capitol instructor taught her, applying antiseptic to the side of the bandage and not the open wound. This way it will spread more evenly and not hurt Harvest as much. It will be a long ache instead of a short blinding pain.
When she is done Harvest looks up to her gratefully. "Are you okay to keep going?" She asks him, sad to leave the beautiful pebble beach. But they cannot stay out in the open. Already, storm clouds are forming over top of them and static can be felt in the air. It may storm soon. The sun has disappeared.
Harvest nods, his lips turning to a thin line as he gets up, the blood draining from his face. With the support of Poppy, he walks with her further into the landmass they are now on. The pebbles rolling under their feet. Poppy stops of a moment, picking up a brilliant turquoise pebble she hands it to Harvest. "For my wounded warrior," she says. Harvest smiles down at her with a brilliant smile, his cheeks going slightly pink.
Ace Platinum, 18, District 1.
"Let's just rest tonight, leave the other Tributes with a false sense of security." Ace explains to the group. The bodies have long since been collected from the harsh rocks and now the Tributes sit on various objects next to the cornucopia. Armed to the teeth with weapons and supplies.
Weiss and Nate growl in synch at the idea. But the others stay silent, even the un-injured they have had a lot taken out of them today. The simple matter is that if they found another Tribute that was uninjured they could not guarantee that it would not end without bloodshed and the Careers are not willing to risk losing one of their own so early in the Games.
The sun has started to set and heavy storm clouds have come out, the day seems to have moved impossibly fast. The Gamemakers must be doing it to try and mess with their heads. Or maybe they are all so out of it inside of the Games that time has become hard to judge. Whatever the reason it will be dark soon.
Night vision goggles were found with the bountiful supplies and have been left at the mouth of the cornucopia, almost enough for one pair each. "I'm happy to take the first watch," Esme says, it takes Ace off guard. She has said almost nothing since they all joined up.
"I'm happy with us taking it," Blake purs, biting his lower lip as he looks over to Esme. She looks back almost sheepishly.
"I was thinking I could take it alone, then you all could get a good rest," she explains, staring down at the floor. Nausea has not left her stomach and it is taking half of her energy not to break out dry heaving in front of the Careers. But she knows that she can't. She must not appear weak. Or they will kill her. Like Weiss almost did.
"Fat chance of that with Blake around," Weiss jokes.
Esme sighed in defeat when Blake shifts over to her, pressing their sides together he stares at the others with a huge grin on his face. "We will try not to keep you all awake, but something tells me that Esme is loud." Blake bursts into laughter.
After a moment of awkward silence by the rest of the Careers, Ace gets up and grabs a tarpaulin out of the cornucopia. He ties one side to a rather large spike on the crest of the cornucopia and wedges a large pole into a hole in the ground before tying the other side of the tarpaulin to that. Carolyn and Weiss quickly realize what he is doing and Esme tries to get up and help them but Blakes' fingers are firm around her hips. "You're staying right here with me," he purrs into her ear. She shivers despite herself.
Nate gets up to help wedge another pole into the ground before he hauls several stretches from the cornucopia and sets them up as Ace and the girls add walls to their makeshift shelter. Once they are done the stretchers sit next to each other the cornucopia blocks one side while plastic walls block the other three. "You two," Nate says, looking at where Esme and Blake are still sitting.
"On top of the cornucopia is the best vantage spot. Watch each other's backs and bring something soft to sit on." Nate explains Blake gives him a thumbs up back, rushing off he grabs a couple of blankets and two pairs of the night vision goggles. Before grabbing Esme's hand in his, his fingers digging into her skin slightly too far.
He pulls her up the cornucopia and Ace watches until they get out of his sight. "What's the bet they are going to keep us safe?" He asks the rest of the group.
"Probably not very high, but none of the other Tributes are going to attack us. They are expecting us to be out hunting them," Carolyn spits on the ground. Clear that she wants to be out, but the gash on her face is wearing her down too. It stings from the disinfectant used.
Ace looks around to the others who are settling down before walking over to Nate. It has almost gone pitch black outside already, only a couple of lanterns keep the Careers in the light. Ones that will stay on all night. "Hows Cassia doing?" Ace asks Nate.
Nate shrugs, running a hand through his freshly cropped hair. "Not much better, all we can do is watch her," he explains, looking over to the girl. She lies with her eyes closed in one of the stretchers, her body shivering despite the blanket that covers her. Ace excuses himself from the other boy for a moment, grabbing a second blanket he puts it on top of her as well.
"You need some sleep, do you want me to keep an eye on her?" Ace asks Nate. Snoring can already be heard from the stretcher that Carolyn is sleeping on and Weiss has a pillow wrapped around her head.
"Thank you," Nate replies before walking over to his own stretcher. Ace sits on the end of his, it is slightly elevated from the rest of them and he watches as Nates breaths slow. He stays eerily silent in sleep. While Weiss and Carolyn make little snores and noises Nate is deadly quiet. It's almost unnerving.
When nothing looks like it is going to happen and Cassia falls into a deep sleep too Ace lets himself feel tired. He aches from the injuries that have been inflicted on him and he closes his eyes, hoping to fall into a dreamless sleep.
Nothing is working in his favor today though as in his dream Prince and Tiffany come to him. He can be seen thrashing about in his stretcher as they attack him in his rough dreams, double teaming him just like Cole and the other boy they slash at his flesh.
But unlike the boys, Ace cannot bring himself to attack his friends.
Authors Note: So there it is, the first day of the arena is over now. Sorry for the less exciting chapter with little deaths, I hope that the arena building helped to make up for it. I enjoy just writing about how the Tributes are coping so we may have some less exciting chapters in the story.
Thank you for reading. Let me know how do you think these current Tributes are going to do? Has anything surprised you?
May the odds be ever in your favor,
And,
Thank you for your sacrifice.
**NOTE**
Author Paradigm of Writing (who gave this SYOT the Tribute Jerry Kapper) has started their own SYOT Sheep Led to Slaughter and is looking for Tribute submissions. If you are interested they have reviewed to this story so you can find their profile in the review section or just search the name of the SYOT. I would highly recommend submitting as they are a very talented writer.
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The fallen:
Day One:
24th: Flint Fraser, 13, District 12. Killed by Blake. Created by iridescenteverdeen. Flint became one of my favorite characters and I shed some tears thinking that he had to go. He was just too young and too scrawny. His persistence optimism followed him to the end and I'll miss him.
23rd: Pricilla Winters, 15, District 12. Killed by Carolyn. Created by Mewkitcat. Pricilla fought to the end, her fear leading her to turn on those she probably could have trusted. Her family will miss her deeply, its almost fitting that she followed her District Partner out.
22nd: Weft Loomis, 15, District 8. Killed by Ace. Created by destiny's sweet melody. Weft has a hard life, he had a solid plan but unfortunately was carried away by talk of alliances and those he trusted. His interview will be remembered as one of the best and his quirky sarcasm will be missed. He's with his mother and sister now.
21st: Cole Rockweld, 15, District 9. Killed by Cassia. Created by The-Moth-God. Cole was a Tribute I think many expected to go far inside the Games. He almost did, but the true worth of alliances was shown at his expense. Cole did not go easily and he will leave his mark in the Games with the injuries he inflicted on Ace. He died fighting, Barrick can be proud of that.
20th: Trafalgar Zaun, 15, District 10. Killed by Weiss. Created by 66samvr. Trav, they were different from any other Tribute I have seen before. They were so interesting to write and almost made it away. They can find solace in the friend they made in Eva, the true acceptance of their identity she had. But it is a bittersweet ending.
19th: Eva Brath, 14, District 10. Killed by Esme. Created by Team Shadow. Eva was never designed to win these Games and I think most people saw that. I added a lot of backstory to this Tribute myself and she will always have a special spot. She can be with her sisters and father now, the hope that her youngest sister is not reaped will live on with the Capitol. That's all she ever wanted.
18th: Violet Mercury, 14, District 8. Killed by Blake. Created by Booklovin'03. Violet, like Eva was never meant to win these Games. I think she knew that too. I think she would be okay with that, she wasn't sure if she wanted to win. Jasper will surely mourn her and her death will affect the District. It just wasn't meant to be.