Dragon Age: Of Noble Birth
The Spoiled Princess
Day 19
"...so I just stood there, stone silent for maybe a minute while she looked at me and waited with a stupid grin on her face. Well...there was something about this grin yes? And I had always found elves, females especially, very attractive, so I shrugged, grabbed a bottle of wine, and followed her into the bedroom."
Leliana laughed a little as she recalled the memory she was speaking of, from an early mission as a young bard. She looked across the small table at Aedan whose mouth was slightly open. He had a glazed look in his eyes as his mind was far away for a brief time. She smiled to herself and thought how easy it was sometimes...
They were both in the Spoiled Princess, a half eaten chicken on the table between them, empty glasses of wine near her, empty mugs of ale near him.
She had told him much over the last four hours. Her life as a child. Being born in Orlais to a Ferelden woman. Not knowing her father or even who he was, her mother passing when she was a but a young girl. Lady Cecile doing her best to raise her, even though she did not have too, but not really being able to cope with the demands of raising a young child at her advanced age. She had told him of the feelings of being alone. Always.
She had told him of being sent away to train in the bardic arts as a girl of twelve. Of Cecile calling in an old debt to secure her place, only to return one time to see Cecile as she had passed less than a year later. She had told him that after her passing, she was truly alone. An outsider in Orlais. Despite her growing and obvious talents, she had been considered an afterthought, a favor to an old noble. Tolerated only, as she was always perceived as a Ferelden first, despite being raised in Orlais. But she had learned, and learned well, eventually gaining her a place as a young bard.
She had even told him a little of her time as a bard. How at the young age of sixteen, due to her increasingly obvious skill, she came to find service with a young bardmaster looking to make a name for herself. She had even spoken of a few past missions, carefully, especially with anything related to Ferelden of course, despite his interest and occasional insistence.
She had even mentioned Marjolaine.
Marjolaine...
Aedan had asked of her. Even after many ales, far too many, he still picked up on something, despite her trying to keep that part of the tale as bland as possible. His interest had heightened though when she mentioned it was Marjolaine that had brought her to Ferelden.
It was here where she diverted. Skillfully. Playfully using Aedan's curiosity against him.
She smiled across the table at him and signaled for the barmaid. His ale was low, again. The girl promptly brought another mug, as well as another glass of wine for her.
He looked at her expectantly. "And?"
"And what?"
"Maker's breath don't stop there!"
She laughed at him, all wide eyed, looking at her in a way she found she really liked. Her laughter was contagious, causing him to soon follow suit. Calming down after awhile she continued, devious little grin on her face as she spoke.
"Well...we did things girls do yes? Nothing special really. Our hair., some make up...Oh! I painted her toenails too!"
She watched as Aedan sat back in the chair heavily. He actually looked as if he would pout, crossing his arms across his chest. "I hate you..."
She laughed loudly at his reaction, causing him to break out into a smile and again laugh with her. Neither of them stopped for almost a minute as the few others in the room looked at them oddly. Neither really cared. She realized, despite everything happening and the events of the previous days, that this was the best time she'd had in years.
Leliana, still chuckling, sat back in the chair and looked across at him, still smiling and picking at their leftover meal.
She really liked him. A lot. Far too much to ignore, but she realized she found herself trying to all the same, for many reasons. And not just her own reasons, but his as well. Many factors were at play. Her years in the Chantry, her past, his past, what lay ahead in front of them. It terrified her to think of it all.
Not to mention Morrigan...
She looked to the stairs at the thought, frowning a little, somewhat surprised none of the others had come down yet.
"I wonder if they all are still asleep?"
Aedan shook his head. "Sten was up when we came back but he doesn't want to come down. Alistair I don't know about. His door was shut. Morrigan was half dead when we came back. She would never admit it, but that last fight we had, really took a lot out of her...I think those blue potions...what were they again?"
"Lyrium."
"Yeah...I think they have some pretty bad side effects based on what she was talking about before. She was reluctant to drink them really. Wynne seemed hesitant to drink them too."
Leliana sighed and picked a little at the cold chicken, then took a drink of her wine. Normally she would never have more than one, maybe two, but this was her fourth. She looked across the table and saw Aedan drain another mug of ale. He'd had over a dozen, at least. She was surprised he seemed as in control as he was. A tinge of guilt hit her since she had encouraged it a little at first, though he had continued without prodding.
"So...what now?"
He looked at her and shrugged. "I don't know, I'm making all this up as we go. We wait a few more days at least so the dust can settle...You and Morrigan mentioned Denerim. I'm not opposed to that, as long as we're quick..." She noticed a pause as a thought crossed his mind. His mood swung suddenly. "Wouldn't mind making a quick stop on the way though."
It took all of two seconds for her to guess what he was thinking of.
"No."
She spoke the word with some authority. He was clearly surprised and sat back in his chair, looking at her.
"You don't want to go to Denerim now? I thought it was your idea? Or Morrigan's. I can't recall."
"No. Denerim is fine, and I do think we should go there. We can't fight like this in these...rags. What I meant, Aedan, is that we won't be making a stop on the way."
He narrowed his eyes at her. " What do you mean? You don't even know where I wanted to go?"
Her eyes opened wide in surprise. "What did we just spend the last four hours talking about?"
He sat up straight and looked down at the table. "Yeah...okay...so maybe you do know."
She watched him fidget in his seat. The happy time they'd been sharing was gone for good, just like that as his thoughts shifted towards home. Quietly she'd been concerned about this. Busy as they had all been, it had only come up briefly, and even then only because she'd asked. It had hurt her to see him in that pain. And Aedan had not mentioned it to any of the others, though she had told them of course, and asked them not to bring it up with him. Now, sooner than was probably a good idea, he found himself much closer to where it happened. Opportunity could often be a problem.
This...this will be...delicate.
She leaned forward and lowered her voice. "Listen to me. I...I understand. Believe me Aedan, I really do. But this is not the way to do it. Even if we all came with you, we would never even get through the front gate. If we sneak in, and how with Sten... how will we even know where this...what was his name again?"
Aedan spat. "Howe."
"...yes. How will we know where this Howe even is? We can't kill everyone. And what if he is not even there?...We need information..."
"We?"
"Yes we. You do this by yourself and you will just get killed. You may be a remarkable warrior Aedan, but you can't defeat so many by yourself. And you are as subtle as a regiment of mounted chevaliers..."
"Thanks..."
"You're welcome. What we need is information. And that is only if we have time. It would be better to wait until the darkspawn are defeated, yes?"
She watched him as he put his head to the table and pounded his forehead into it loudly. Without even thinking, she reached across the table and put hand on the back on his head to stop him. She could feel his pain.
I've felt it too...
But he did not yet know that. And her problems were long gone, aside from the guilt. His were recent, and suddenly staring him right in the face again.
He looked up at her and rubbed at his eyes. They were distant. Lost. "Sorry...It's just...I've been..."
"Preoccupied. I know. And now we have to come so close...it is difficult to resist. But you have to think of the big picture. Like I said, we know nothing right now, to say we are blind would be kind. And...and you and Alistair are the only two wardens left in Ferelden. What happens if you die? What happens when Alistair dies because he followed you? Because you know he will. As will I."
She knew Morrigan would follow as well but kept it to herself. Sten...she really was not sure if Sten would to be honest. He seemed irritated at even being here, preferring to take the fight straight to the darkspawn. Now.
Aedan sat back up and downed the rest of the ale in his mug and held it up in the air. The barmaid came over at once and filled it. He drank that one in one large gulp before slamming it down on the table and looking at her.
"I never wanted this."
"I know..."
He looked at her with such pain in his eyes. Her heart broke for him. She did the only thing she could. Reaching across the table she put a hand over his and gave it a squeeze.
"Listen to me. I came with you because I believe it was the right thing to do. The Maker willed it, just as he willed me to that chantry in Lothering so I could one day meet you...and Alistair and...well...you know. Do all of this...It is destiny. It has to be. My problems, Morrigan's problems, Alistair's...well, Alistair has other issues I think...Sten. Even you. Aedan, they just don't matter."
"Leliana, I couldn't give a shit about the Maker, or what he wills..."
She shook her head. Sadly. "I...I know this. But it is all the same anyway. What you are to do, what we are to do, it is all we have now. There is nothing else. None of us made this choice for ourselves. You and Alistair are Grey Wardens. You have to stop the Blight. No one else can. My life has woven a path that only could have led me here, as the Maker wills. Believe me..."
Aedan sighed and leaned against the edge of the table, putting his hand to his forehead. For the first time she saw him as something else. Something other than a Grey Warden. A noble. A man made of stone. Beautiful and hard, kind and decisive, all at once.
She saw a confused, overwhelmed young man who actually had doubts. Serious doubts.
"You aren't alone in this. You won't be. I swear this to you."
He dragged a hand across his face and looked at the empty mug of ale, then to her.
"Maybe...maybe I shouldn't drink anymore?"
She smiled at him but there was no conviction in it this time. She was a little shocked to be honest, and suddenly worried for the first time. Aedan had been so in control, so sure of himself. She knew there would be difficult times of course. She knew the possibility of dying was even high, if not entirely likely, but it never seemed to register before.
But it really did now.
He stood rapidly, swaying on his feet as he did, nearly falling over. It startled her out of her thoughts. She stood with him and placed a hand on his back to steady him. He grabbed her and the table to steady himself.
He's actually drunk...
"Sorry..."
"It's okay. You want me to take you to bed?"
Wait...what did I just say?
"Yes...yes. I think I do."
She shook her own head clear and walked him towards the stairs, moving up them slowly. He only stumbled a few times, but was clearly intoxicated. Much more so than she'd thought. She decided to try to lighten the mood a little.
"You're a little bit of a lightweight aren't you?"
"Shit no...well...maybe...I haven't really drank much in over a year at least. Cumberland. I broke into a minor lord's cellar to...um...meet someone, and we discovered the wine cellar...and a particularly clean little hidden dungeon."
" Wait...what?...A dungeon!"
Maker's breath!
"Well...I don't know if it was as much a dungeon as a...a..."
"Ah...a salle de plaisir...yes. I know what that is."
"Okay great...what is it?"
"A pleasure room. Nobles in Orlais use them all the time. They're pretty popular, even in Nevarra. It's where they all keep there little...secrets I suppose."
Aedan nodded and pointed to the far room down the hall, stumbling a little as he did so. She shifted some of his weight as he was starting to get heavy, stopping for a second. He moved his arm from her shoulder to around her waist to steady himself. He managed to walk most of the hall on his own, only using her for balance. She did notice his hand had found her backside a few times as he stumbled a little here and there. A little smile formed on her face as they approached his room.
"Yeah. That fits. It was rather pleasurable actually..."
She laughed, opened the door to his room and walked him to the bed. He collapsed rather heavily on it and sighed, putting his hands to his face and groaning as if in pain. She leaned over, grabbed his boots and starting pulling them off his feet.
He looked up at her when she did that. She stopped with one boot off, the other in her hand, half off of his right foot, when she saw the look on his face suddenly change. A feeling of pure terror came over her. It was very, very unexpected.
He's wants me to stay...
She was very attracted to him. Very, very attracted. Years ago, had they met under different circumstances, they would have been lovers, she would have seen to it. Perhaps even inside of a few days of meeting, if not sooner.
If not immediately...don't fool yourself...
But suddenly, faced with the prospect of it happening, it terrified her. Years in the chantry, years seeking guidance, years seeking penance had changed her. She was not the same person she once was. Her years with Marjolaine, and especially the years after, had seen to that.
I think...
She stepped back from the bed, boot still in hand, and looked around the small room. She had not gotten one herself yet. She turned and found him pulling off his shirt and again laying back on the bed. He just watched her and said nothing. She thought back to the last time a man had touched her.
Maker, it's been four years...
Her last two years as a bard had all been spent with Marjolaine. And only her. The two years after that all spent in the chantry. Hiding. Alone.
She took a step towards the bed without thinking. It caused Aedan to sit up. He started to speak but fear won the day. She blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. Stopping him.
"I should go...I have to get a room myself still and you need your sleep. So do I actually now that I think of it. I...I'll see you in the morning, yes?"
She backed a few steps away and hit the table near the door, knocking over a glass of water.
Some bard I am...
"Leli...Are you alright?"
"Yes yes. I'm fine. Just the wine I think...maybe it was not so smart to drink so soon for me either. I think...I think I have a headache."
"Maybe...you sure you feel okay?"
"Yes Aedan...I do...I...I'll see you in the morning. Good night."
She turned and walked out the door, shutting it behind her. She leaned against it and took a deep breath.
Why do I feel like I just made a huge mistake?
Before she even had a chance to gather her thoughts, or change her mind, the door next to her opened. Morrigan walked out and took two steps into the hall before stopping cold as she noticed her.
She quickly moved off the door and walked towards her. The look on the witch's face was a combination of shock and surprise, though she tried hard to hide it.
A small part of her took some pleasure in this.
Okay...not such a small part...
" 'Tis the warden's room is it not?"
"Yes. He needed some help."
"I see..." Morrigan looked at the door and then back at her. "And you gave it to him I suppose?"
Leliana could not help but smirk a little, but wiped it off her face just as quickly.
"I helped him up the stairs, so yes. He drank too much. We both did really."
Morrigan looked at her for a full five seconds before saying anything.
"Yes...of course."
Morrigan turned away and walked down the hall, stiffly. Leliana followed her down the stairs. The witch stopped when they got to the main room, turning to her with an odd look on her face but she did not speak.
"What?"
Morrigan looked around the room again and raised an eyebrow, turning to her. "I gave all my coin to the warden to carry."
Leliana laughed and fished out her coin purse. Her laugh turned to a frown when she found only fifty silver. She gave it all to Morrigan.
"I do not require all of it girl. Only enough to feed myself."
"It's expensive here. Aedan and I spent nearly that much."
"How much did he drink!"
"A lot. But it was the food. You'll need the coin, save some for Alistair just in case. Sten already ate apparently."
Morrigan sighed and shook her head. "Very well. My thanks then. Though we shall have issues soon it seems."
"What?...Why?"
"Because when I gave the warden my coin he had little as well. Barely enough to house us here for the next four days."
"Oh!...yes, that... Maybe your right. I have some ideas. Let's sit down."
"I do not require your presence girl. I can see you are weary."
"I'm fine. Besides, I haven't paid for a room yet for myself...though... I guess I could just go back upstairs and..."
Morrigan cut her off. "Come then, sit if you must."
Morrigan sat at the same table she and Aedan had eaten at and called over the barmaid. Leliana smiled to herself and sat down with her.
A/N: Long chapter for me, and it changed a lot several times. Give me a few days or so on the next one as it incorporates things I need to research a little. And a big thank you to all of you who have reviewed lately. And thanks for the favs and alerts as well. I'm actually rather surprised this story is getting so many hits and stuff now to be honest. I really appreciate that. It's a little daunting too.