Chapter 36 – Secrets Revealed and Debts Unsettled
AN: Much thanks and appreciation to the following reviewers: Aqua Rules, Trude, Matainer, RaeLovesYou, shannon, everlasting1286, guest, LACR, District12Divergent and sasharox. Also for those who have alerted and favored my story. You guys are awesome. I'm lovin' this story myself. Lol Mistakes, mine. Characters, Suzanne Collins, Enough said. Now on with the show.
Katniss POV -
I looked at Peeta trying to gauge his feelings. His face was stoic, his eyes blank. I sighed in relief as I gazed at his wristband. The band displayed green. This was not what I had expected for him to react when he found out that Gale Hawthorne was one how had been stalking him along with Eva. As for myself, I'm numb. I couldn't believe that he could be consumed with so much hatred and anger towards Peeta that he would align myself with Eva, a psychotic, rapist bitch. I felt a headache forming as bile rose from my throat. The need to vomit was great but I contained it. It didn't help with Johanna and Delly interrogating us. "Just tell me if Peeta got that bitch to tell him who's stalking him," Johanna asked in exasperation and impatience.
"Just leave them alone," Haymitch said. "They'll tell us when they're ready." I nodded my head in thanks for his patience and understanding. It was a lot to take in. How was I to tell them that my former best friend and hunting partner was the one who has been stalking Peeta and was willing to sell him to the sex trade. How can I tell them that Gale Hawthorne partnered with a psycho woman who had raped Peeta? Guilt already compounded my heavy heart. I shouldn't have encouraged or played with Gales' feelings for me just because I was angry with Peeta for coming back damaged. Snow programmed him to kill me and instead of helping I ran away. I should have helped heal him and recover from his horrific ordeal. I remembered my conversation with Haymitch. He was disappointed in me for not understanding Peeta's situation.
'If you were in his shoes right now, what do you think Peeta would be doing?'
I knew the answer and it made me angry for it only proved that I didn't deserve him. Peeta would have stuck by my side, taking care of me as he had always done whether I acknowledged him or not. He was selfless when it came to me.
When we arrived at the train platform Peeta walked up to the train and headed straight to our compartment without a word or second glance to anyone.
"Did he at least find out who is stalking him?" Johanna repeated in frustration. "Well did he?"
"Yes. Will you please leave him alone so he can…don't bother him until he's ready to tell everyone," I shouted. My feet took me our compartment to find Peeta lying in bed with his clothes on. "Peeta, are you okay?" I asked as I climbed on the bed and sat beside him. I cringed to myself as I realized what stupid question that was. He grabbed my hand as other hand felt his forehead. He was warm and sweaty.
"I can't stop shaking," he whispered as I felt his hand tremble in my grasp. He was in shock. I placed his head on my lap. For a few minutes I rubbed the back of his neck as his face was turned towards my lower belly. I loved the feel of his soft blond hair between my fingertips. "You want to talk about it?"
"No, not right now. Can you just hold me?" He sat up. With unspoken words, he unbuttoned his shirt and tugged off his t-shirt underneath. He slipped off his pants keeping his prosthetic leg attached as I removed my shirt as well. I was in the middle of removing my pants when he reached behind me unsnapping my bra. I smiled as his hands pulled me over his body as he leaned backwards. I giggled at his eagerness to press my naked breast on his chest. I lay my head on my usual spot whenever we were in bed together. I sighed as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I lay one leg over his right leg half straddling him.
My thoughts wandered, as we lay there half naked in a train compartment on our way to the Capitol. I thought about how my life would have been if I had not been reaped with Peeta. Would we have connected despite the reapings? I knew I would have not survived had Prim been reaped after my reaping age. I would have been lost and angry at the world. I would have secluded myself from society, determined to never experience love, marriage and children. Had Peeta approached me I would have shunned and rejected his love. I shuddered to think how my life would have been without him. A life without my Boy with the Bread. I guess this would have happened anyway for no matter whom and what our obstacles we faced, we always gravitated to each other.
An hour or so had passed. I'm not sure how much since my focus was Peeta. My head was on his chest, feeling it move up and down while I listened to the cadence of his heartbeat. I lifted my head to find Peeta fast asleep. His face looked peaceful and angelic with lock of hair brushing his forehead. I kissed his eyelids, tip of his nose and lips. Eva was right that he did gain some weight during our time at District 7 and 4. His cheeks were no longer gaunt from starvation and sleep depravation. Days sunbathing at the beach gave his skin a healthy glow. I could not longer see the outline of each of his ribs and sternum. My fingers didn't scale the protrusion of his bony hipbone. I brushed my hands on his six-pack as it traveled to his belly button. His body was a map of scars and wounds. He has yet to tell me of the scars that lined his right leg and on his back. Every mark and blemish imparted a story. My Peeta was not the carefree young boy I once knew, but a man who had endured so much pain and suffering. He was my man.
A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts and wandering hands. I stood up careful not to wake him. I felt bereft the moment I left his side. My body ached from the loss of his warm skin against mine. The cold air seeped through my pores causing me to shiver. I stared at his sleeping form as I buttoned his shirt. He smelled of lavender. I recalled our quick early morning shower we took together. It was not the amorous shower I had expected but one of comfort as we held and washed each other.
He was tired both emotionally as well as physically. I allowed him to his sleep for I have plans for tonight. It was our last night until we reached the Capitol. Haymitch made reservation in one of District's 1's finest restaurant. The meals we had at the train we nutritious since Peeta and Delly commandeered the galley. Tonight Haymitch released him from hours of cooking and baking. I was grateful for his generosity and thoughtfulness. This break also was due to another maintenance check for the train we were traveling in. Haymitch was quite adamant and diligent in keeping the train safe and functioning in proper order. He was quite fanatical and obsessive about it.
"Katniss, Peeta, it's me Kara. Can I come in for a moment?" she asked as I scrambled to finish buttoning the shirt I borrowed. I felt for my head. My hair was tousled and knotted from Peeta's caresses on my hair. At the last second, I placed a blanket on his half naked form. Kara didn't need to see him half naked sprawled on our bed. His body was for my eyes only. I drew the door open.
"Hey, I'm here to check on Peeta. Take his vitals," Kara uttered. "I would have done it earlier but he darted out of the hospital so quick I didn't have the chance."
"Do you have to right now?" I wondered why she picked this moment. "He's sleeping."
"Oh, I'm sorry," she responded. I noticed that she carried her small medical bag in her hand. "I was hoping that he was awake. I'll just come back later." I was about to shut the door when Peeta sat straight up.
"Katniss," he cried out, he was frantic reaching out on the bed looking for me. "Katniss!"
"Hey, I'm right here, baby," I said as I climbed on the bed and grabbed his trembling body into my arms. "Shh, I'm right here, I'm right here." I rocked his body back and forth. His grip was so tight like he was afraid to let me go. "Did you have a bad dream?" I placed a kiss on the top of his head.
"I…I…couldn't find yo...you…" he stuttered. "Eva and… he to…took you away…from me."
"You had a bad dream." I comforted him. "I'm right here, baby. I'm not going anywhere." Kara stood at the doorway. I gestured her to come in. She might as well check his vitals since she was already here. I didn't want her to disturb us later.
"Hey, Peeta," Kara greeted him. Peeta tightened his arms around me and buried his head on my neck.
"Kara wants to give you a check up, okay?" He shook his head and sighed. "Hey, if you do this now, you won't have to later." He held on to me. "Peeta." His grip got tighter. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let Kara do her thing and then she'll leave." He released me.
Kara took his arms and checked his wristband. "I won't take long, Peeta."
"Okay," he whispered as his eyes never left mine.
"I'm going to replace this one for a new one," she explained as he removed the band. She checked his pulse before latching the new one on his wrist. "Your heart is racing but that's normal since you woke up from a nightmare. Your heartbeat is steady and solid; it's a good sign. How's your leg?"
"A little sore," Peeta answered as he shrugged his head. I wondered why he didn't remove the fake limb if he was hurting. "I'm running out of the lotion soon." She opened her bag and handed him a new bottle. "Thanks."
"Don't worry, when you get your new one at the Capitol, I guarantee you'll like it." She smiled at him. "How about your appetite? Are you keeping down the solids?"
"Yeah, I don't get queasy anymore."
"He's eating all his food, Kara. He's not leaving his meal half eaten anymore," I returned.
"That's wonderful. Hopefully you'll be strong enough to undertake the treatments. We don't have a scale here so I don't know how much you've gained." I didn't tell her or if she noticed that Peeta only ate cereal and fruit this morning. He didn't have any appetite but I couldn't blame him since he was about to confront Eva this morning. "Do you want to have lunch here?" I looked at the clock and didn't realize that we slept through the meal. "Everyone's been waiting for you but I told them to leave you alone. You can't stay here all day until you're going to have to face them." Peeta sighed and turned to me wrapping one arm around me while he buried his face onto my neck. His hand sought for my naked skin underneath his shirt. I shivered at his touch. It was not meant to seduce but for comfort. My body reacted no matter how he touched me.
Kara pulled out a small metallic fork-like pen out of her bag. "You ready to remove those earrings now?" She waved the instrument in front of him. "I would have don't it at the hospital but…"
Peeta turned his head in surprise. "Really?"
"We can do it right now, if you want?"
"Please," he sighed.
"Will it hurt?" I asked. I didn't want any more pain inflicted on him. Though I do find him sexy wearing the earrings, I remembered who and how he got them. I cringed at the memory and contained the anger that threatened to surface.
"I don't care if it does," Peeta objected. "I want them off me now."
"You'll feel a little pinch but other than that it'll only take a second or two to disable the locking mechanism." Two minutes later, Kara swabbed his red lobes with a numbing lotion to alleviate any swelling. "Don't touch your ears for two hours. The redness and swelling will lessen in time. Just don't agitate it." She packed her supplies and closed her bag. "I'm done. But before I go I need you to start taking these." She pulled out a vial with black capsules. Peeta eyed them wearily.
"What are they?"
"They're harmless." She took one pill and smashed it between her fingers. "See it has no harmful effect." The liquid covered her fingers.
"So why do I have to take it?" Peeta's brows crinkled.
"Each capsule has a liquid inside that will attach to the tracker venom. So when we take a whole body scan when we reach the Capitol we can't tell how much venom is still in your system. You'll need to take one pill every day until you get your treatments." She handed the bottle to him. "Unless you want me to keep taking a blood sample every morning?" I knew Peeta hated needles. His reaction whenever she took a blood sample from him was evident that there was a horrific story behind his reluctance and fear of needles.
"Oh, that means no more needles?" he asked. "I just need to take these instead."
"Yes, no more needles." She shook her head. "Just remember to take on every day after your first meal, okay?" She stood up. "Katniss, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" I looked at Peeta. "We won't take long, I promise."
"Go ahead, Katniss," Peeta stated. "I'll wait here for you to come back." He spoke in mid yawn while one hand scratched his chest. I smiled to myself. He looked so cute with his hair tousled from sleep. I lingered for a moment then realized the sooner I talked to Kara the sooner I could return to my half naked boyfriend lying on our bed.
"I'll be right back." I kissed his cheek and walked out the room with Kara. "What's wrong?" I asked.
"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to know how he's doing," she inquired. "Dr. Aurelius wanted to a full check up back at the hospital, but he left so fast. I think he wanted to have a session with him since Peeta hasn't had one since you left 12."
"He's fine, I guess," I informed her. "I mean, he's been really quiet. All he wanted to do when we got back was go to sleep."
"That's only natural since seeing and talking to Eva was pretty intense," she explained. "It was both physically and emotionally stressful for him. I'm not going to lie to you, but the weeks ahead are going to be hard on him in body and mind."
"What can I do to help him?"
"Don't push him to talk. Let him come to you no matter how frustrated you get with him. Since his ordeal with Eva, he's never been in control on any aspect of his life. He may physically be here but his mind will sometimes go back to this trauma. You know that the closer we get to the Capitol the more he'll keep to himself both physically and emotionally. Just be there for him. You're his anchor to the real world. As he is to you as well. Turn to each other. Remind him that he has a future. With you." I smiled. "The most important thing is to keep talking to him. Let your voice break whatever trance or nightmare he falls into. You and your friends are the only people that he needs. You, Johanna, Delly and Haymitch are the only people he will listen to when rage and fear overwhelm him. He's going to fall. It's inevitable." She placed a hand on my forearm. "And Katniss, don't give up, Ever." I nodded my head. "Now, go back inside. I'll try to keep everyone at bay until you're both ready to come back and meet with everyone."
"Everything all right?" I asked.
"Yeah, Johanna and Delly are besides themselves," she said. "They're going crazy, wondering who Peeta's stalker is." I flinched as she reminded me who was the primary cause of Peeta's nightmares. "Take all the time you need, and Katniss, if you need to talk to someone, I'm available anytime. I'll be back in half an hour to bring your lunch."
"Kara, thank you," I said.
I walked back in the room to find my boyfriend fast asleep again. I took off my shirt and slipped next to him. As my face hovered over his sleeping form, I stared at the boy beside me. No, not a boy but the man next to me. In my eyes he still looked the same. Though the horror and abuse he endured was the past, he carried the memories with him, ever present. I watched as he stared out the window with the haunted look in his eyes. I can never imagine the horror he, Johanna and Annie experienced. The thoughts and my imagination could not be compared to what they really endured in the hands of the Capitol and Snow. I could not fathom the reality of it. Though Johanna told me an inkling of their abuse, I feel that there was more to what they were telling us.
Images of Gale's face filtered through my mind. I cringed in disgust for I never thought of him when I was in bed with Peeta, ever. The sudden purge of anger rose from my mind. He, with great intent, partnered with Eva to cause harm and tired to take Peeta away from me. I will never forgive him.
Peeta and Gale were the opposite of each other. One was the sun with love and hope radiating out of every single pore from his body. He was sunshine, laughter and love embodied with his blond hair, crystal blue eyes and boyish smile. He loved passionately, devotedly and endlessly. The other was the moon. He was moody, sullen and quiet with his dark hair and angry gray eyes. He was dark personified; every thing about him was dark. With his darkness, he loved obsessively, possessively and selfishly. I remembered the days when girls both Merchant and Seam would swoon at his mere appearance. Gale was handsome I can admit, but he reflected too much of my own bitter personality. I saw too much of myself in him and I didn't like what I saw. He suffered living in the Seam, but at least he had family and a mother who doted on him. While Peeta had neither love from his own family and mother. How he came out to be loving and generous was a miracle. With the passage of time and the knowledge of the world as I knew then, I realized that we suffered in our own way. We both had mothers who abandoned and neglected us. But never Peeta stopped believing in love while I avoided and denied it. He didn't have the sense to fall in love with a girl who deserved him. But he loved me just the same and I'll endeavor to never make him regret it.
I lay my hand on his heart. He was warm and firm underneath my fingers. How I love the softness of his skin despite the scars and blemishes peppered all over his body. His eyes flickered underneath his lids. A whimper escaped his mouth as he started to tremble in his sleep. Then I remembered Kara's recent advice.
'The most important thing is to keep talking to him. Let your voice break whatever trance or nightmare he falls into.'
"Peeta, honey. You're okay, baby," I whispered in his ear. His lobe was still red from removing the earrings. "Hey, wake up, Peeta. You're safe here with me." He quieted down in his sleep as face relaxed from tension on his brows and mouth. "No one is ever going to hurt again. No one, not Eva, not Gale. They are never going to touch you ever, I promise." I tried to contain the sob that was lodged in my throat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. 'I swear, Peeta, I'll make him pay for what he did to you.'
Bron POV –
I sat next to the window as I watched each mile past us. I should be elated since I was on my way back home, but then I realized that home was where Delly is. I had left all my family and friends when I joined the rebellion. My family pretty much disowned me for my defection and betrayal. I took as much money I had earned and inherited and carved a new life without them. I am family-less and without a home. I stand corrected; I have a home in District 12 and family with Delly, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss and Johanna. I cannot thank them enough for accepting me into their fold. I will be forever grateful and I would do whatever it takes to secure their happiness and safety. I had struggled for months deciding whether I should remain with the Guardsmen. My decision was solidified when Peeta's and those I care for lives were in danger. My position as Guardsmen guaranteed me with access and resources only law enforcement could provide. I never regretted my decision. I just hope to fulfill my promise to keep everyone safe. I had already failed Peeta once with my petty jealousy and insecurity of Delly's love for her best friend. I will never share the bond they had experienced living in 12 but she loves me and that is enough. It was more than enough. The restlessness and impatience weighed upon us as we waited for Peeta and Katniss.
They had still yet to join us. They had secluded themselves in their compartment since returning from the hospital. When Peeta and Katniss returned from seeing Eva, they were pale, shaking and non communicative. Whatever she revealed shook them both. It was apparent. I can only imagine what was revealed. Lunch was awkward as Johanna stewed with impatience. I felt for her since I too was eager to find out who's been stalking Peeta. If what I felt were an ounce of her anger and frustration, hers would be epic. Delly had been quiet throughout the whole ordeal. It was unlike her. Haymitch kept to himself and in quiet reflection. A behavior I had not expected from him. Dr. Templeton was the only person in communication with Peeta and Katniss. She had forbidden everyone and was adamant that we steer clear of them much to Johanna's protest.
I twisted my head in surprise. "Hey, guys," Peeta's soft voice pierced the quiet compartment.
"Peeta," both Delly and Johanna spoke at the same time as they walked over to him. Katniss held his hand while the other clasped on his elbow. They looked haggard as if they had no sleep.
"What the hell, Peeta," Johanna exclaimed.
"Are you okay?" Delly asked in her professional mode. Then, she couldn't contain her fear and anxiety. "I can't stand it anymore, who the fuck is stalking you?" Everyone gasped in surprise because my Delly never used foul language or cursed unless she was stressed or…well that's between her and me.
"I'm sorry," Peeta stated. "I'm having a hard time…this isn't easy for me."
"Guys, please…don't push him," Katniss said as she led him on a sofa. He sat down as we gathered around him.
"Take your time, Peeta," Haymitch said. He nodded his head.
"I've suspected…I mean…" Peeta uttered. "I think I knew for some time who he was. I just didn't know whether I…it was imagination or I was hallucinating."
"Oh, Peeta," Katniss said. "Why didn't you say something?"
"I wasn't a hundred percent sure at first," he admitted. "I've been having hard time distinguishing what is real and what I was imagining. I didn't know if I was just imagining him during the abduction."
"But now you're certain?" Johanna asked.
"Because Eva confirmed it?" Delly added.
"She just confirmed what I had suspected," Peeta admitted. "I didn't want to believe it. I had hope that I was just hallucinating."
"Please don't tell me who I think it is?" Peeta nodded his head. "No! It can't be him." Delly gasped.
"Yes," Peeta confirmed.
"Who the fuck are you two talking about?" Johanna screamed in frustration.
"It's Gale Hawthorne," I answered for Peeta. I remembered my conversation with Delly with her suspicions. She didn't want to believe that one of her own from District 12 would hate Peeta that much to do him harm. But love does crazy things to one own state of mind. Take me for example, I uprooted my life from the Capitol and started a new one with Delly at District 12. My father reached out to me and said that if I were willing to give up my life as a Guardsmen, my family would open their arms and welcome me back home. I chose Delly. With that decision in mind, my family reacted as I expected. The door to the Masters residence was forever closed to me. I never looked back.
"I fucking knew it," Johanna bellowed as she paced the compartment. "I suspected a couple of people, but it all makes sense now. He's has reason to want Peeta out of the way. But what a fucking asshole! He partnered with that bitch Eva to do his dirty work. Stalking him, abducting Peeta so she can…" She picked up a remote to the train TV monitor and threw it across the room. It shattered in two as it landed on the carpeted floor. "He's so dead. He's mine, Peeta and there is nothing you can do to stop me."
"Get in line," I said. What disgusted me most that I was working for Gale. I looked up to him, respected him. He grew from adversity living in poverty to getting the most coveted offices in Panem as the newly appointed First Guardsmen. He was the symbol of law and order. Panem looked up to him for his bravery and courage during the rebellion.
"Johanna, you can't go after him," Peeta stated. He was calm but the sadness and weight of the discovery was evident in his eyes and posture. I could tell that Katniss was trying to contain her anger. Haymitch was quiet much to my surprise.
"You can't stop me if that bastard dares to get near you," Johanna seethed. "A life for a life, Peeta. I never forgot."
"Johanna, don't," Peeta grimaced. "You don't have to…you owe me anything."
"What are you two talking about," Delly asked. "What do you mean a life for a life, Johanna?"
"Please don't…" Peeta said. He had a panicked look in his eyes.
"He saved me in the Capitol," Johanna started.
"We protected each other," Peeta interjected. "As we protect each other now, always."
'I owe you for…"
"You owe me nothing." Peeta looked uncomfortable. "Please don't rehash history I want to forget."
"I'll never stop owing you or forget what you did," Johanna stated.
"Will you two explain what you're talking about?" Katniss said in curiosity. "I thought we said to have no secret with each other."
"Yes, but this is different," Peeta said. "This is between Johanna and me."
"Yeah, but now it's out there in the open," Delly pouted. "And I'm going to keep bugging you until you tell us."
"The first couple weeks we were in our own cell. I didn't know what was going on. They didn't feed us or give any water. They kept the lights on 24 hours. Sleep depravation was the first agenda. Then, starvation along with switching the environmental controls. One day it is was hot as hell and the next we were freezing our Asses off. Next, after a month they put Peeta, Annie and I in the same cell together." Her voiced hitched as she recalled her memories. "They realized that apart they couldn't break Peeta and me, but they knew his weakness. Peacekeepers would take all three of us into a room and have us watch as they tortured us in front of each other." I cringed at the imagery. Delly had tears falling from her eyes. Katniss wrapped an arm around Peeta's waist.
"Johanna, please stop," Peeta pleaded. "They don't need to know..."
"Yes, they do," Johanna continued. "I told you the methods they used when they tortured me but with Peeta, they would take him and he was gone for hours. They stopped torturing Annie and me, but continued starving us. Annie and I didn't know what they were doing to him. Hours later, Peeta was sent back and I'd see bruises and abrasions on his wrist and leg. I didn't know what they were doing until I saw the needle marks on his arms. When I asked him about it, Peeta never said a word, but I knew they were drugging him. I just didn't realize that they were pumping trackerjacker venom in his system. After a while, he looked and sounded different. It was the first time in months that I was scared of him." She sat down next to him. "Peeta was returned a few hours before and all he did was sleep from the drugs they were giving him. Then one night when we were all asleep, two peacekeepers came into our cell." She gulped and took Peeta's hand. "They knew that Peeta was so drugged that he couldn't or wouldn't be able to help Annie and me. They held us down. One went after Annie and the other pinned me to my bed. They were on top of us, laughing and putting their filthy hands on…"
"Johanna, you don't need to continue," Haymitch said.
"No, I do because you all need to hear this," she explained. "Somehow, Peeta woke up and he first pulled off the one attacking Annie. He just twisted his neck, then, he wrestled the one of top of me. He broke his arm first, then, pounded his head until he was bleeding."
"I didn't know what I was doing," Peeta muttered. "I didn't remember until Johanna mentioned it while we were recuperating at the hospital. I had nightmares about it. I thought I was making it all up in my head. I killed two people with my bare hands."
"You saved me and Annie from being raped," Johanna stated. "Snow was so pleased that he figured out how to finally break Peeta."
"That's when they started using images of Katniss, telling me she was the enemy who needed to be destroyed." Peeta trembled from memories.
"At least no one dared enter the cell anymore. Snow may have been sadistic but had a weird moral code so he declared that no one was to touch us, not without his permission. The next person who touched without his consent was executed right in front of us. He was saving us for the auction. So I thought that after we were rescued that I had saved Peeta from the same fate from Eva. That I saved him the way he save me."
"It's not your fault," Peeta told her.
"But I didn't…she followed you back to 12 and…she raped you." Johanna sobbed. "I couldn't do the one thing I had hoped you never experienced. You saved me and I owe you…"
"You owe me nothing," Peeta repeated.
"Gale colluded with Eva with the intent to sell you," Johanna stated. "But worse of all he allowed her to rape you. That fucking bastard did nothing. I…I want him dead for what he did to you. I want Eva dead for what she did to you."
"You can't touch him. Either of them," Haymitch voiced.
"You can't stop me…"
"Johanna, you can't touch him or accuse Gale of any of this because we don't have any proof that he and Eva conspired to abduct him and sell him."
"But Eva revealed that he's her accomplice," Katniss reminded him.
"And what proof do you have?" he inquired. "All we have is the ranting of a mad, obsessive fan that has been stalking Peeta. The only thing we have is her words, no shred of evidence that it was Gale. We already know she's sick in the head. Any good lawyer will just say that she's making it up."
"Fuck!" Johanna screamed in anger. "So he gets away with it? What about Peeta? He suspected that it was him."
"Peeta, can you undeniably confirm and say in court that it was Gale with Eva the night in question?" Haymitch asked. Peeta shook his head and explained.
"You have to realize that during my time in the Capitol they used…images of…Gale and Katniss together," he responded. "When I first woke up after my abduction, Eva and Gale were having sex in front of me and I first thought it was Katniss…she wore the wig and I thought I was back in the Capitol again. For months while they were injecting me with trackerjacker they conditioned me to believe that Katniss was my enemy. I fought against it for so long so they continued to inject me filling me with images of her killing people, my family and friends." He stopped for a second and took a deep breath. "They finally broke me. They showed me images of Katniss and Gale kissing back in District 12, then having sex to convince me that…they were together." Katniss gasped in horror.
"That's not true," she spat. "I have never been with Gale like that ever."
"That was their endgame. Snow convinced me that she moved on and abandoned me to be with Gale," he continued. "I gave up. I was done." It was more information that I didn't need to know but suspected. I knew how deep his love was for Katniss. It was the same for her as well. If Delly broke up with me, I would be devastated.
"So what can we do?" Delly asked. "I refuse to believe that Gale can get away with this. We have to do something."
"I don't understand why you guys keep going on like this," Johanna ranted. "What we need to do if find the fucker, rip his balls out and kill him."
"Johanna," Haymitch scolded her. "If you do that with no proof of his stalking and with intent to sell Peeta, you'll go to jail."
"I don't care, it will be worth it. I want him dead," she screamed. "He went after Peeta because her ex-boyfriend couldn't handled being rejected and…"
"He was never my boyfriend, damn it," Katniss bellowed in indignation to Johanna's rant.
"You could have fooled me the way acted with him in 13," Johanna accused.
"I thought I lost Peeta for good." Katniss defended herself.
"So what? Just move on to the next guy. You gave up on him," she continued.
"Katniss, Johanna don't fight," Delly yelped. Haymitch stood between them.
"Will you both shut up," Haymitch hollered in tandem to the angry voices that filled the air. "We're not going to do anything until we have undeniable and incontrovertible proof that Gale conspired to do harm to Peeta. Fighting amongst us is futile. We need to focus on Gale."
"He shot him," Johanna screamed. "What more proof do you need?"
"You didn't see him pull the trigger," Katniss reminded her.
"Defending your ex, Katniss," Johanna accused.
"How many times do I have to tell you he was never my boyfriend."
"Neither was Peeta but that didn't stop you from kissing and playing with both of them." Johanna fired back. Katniss flinched at her accusation. "Pretending to be in love with one boy and making out with the another one. At least I only had one lover at a time."
"How dare you insinuate that I…"
"Katniss, Johanna stop," Delly pleaded between the two of them. She tried to grab Johanna by the arm but she deflected her. Haymitch did the same to Katniss and got shoved back in reaction in his attempt to calm her.
"Stay out of this," Katniss yelled at Haymitch and return screaming at Johanna. If this situation wasn't so serious I would have loved to see a cat fight between Everdeen and Mason, but this was not a laughing matter. Peeta's life was at stake.
The girls were livid in their own reaction to the situation. My eyes focused on Peeta. He was close to tears, blinking his eyes several times. His fists were clenched on his side. Then he raised them to cover his ears as he closed his eyes. "Everyone shut up," he screamed so loud. I have never heard him raise his voice with such force that it startled everyone. Kara appeared from nowhere.
"What is going on?" she asked, bewildered and concerned as she approached Peeta. "Peeta, give me you hand." He kept it lodged on the sides of his head. She tried to pry it off him.
"Don't touch me." He swayed back and forth.
"Peeta, I'm sorry…" Katniss started to apologize.
"Everybody shut up," he repeated. "If anyone has the right to decide what happens, it's me. He didn't conspire with Eva to abduct any of you. He didn't drug you and watch her rape you. He did this to me. So all of you should shut up and listen to me." He dropped his hands. "I…I…" he struggled to breath as he gasped while clutching his chest with one hand. "Haymitch is right; we can't go after…him…Gale…unless we have proof. He's already ruined so many lives with his deception and betrayal. He was never my friend or ally, but I would have never…I would have never caused or wished him any harm." He sat down. "All of you fighting each other isn't making this any easier for me."
"Peeta." Katniss sat next to him.
"Please don't do anything that will ruin your life because of me," he pleaded. "Johanna promise me that you won't after him." He stared at her and waited for a response. She gave none. "I know you, as well I as I know Katniss. I don't want to lose you any of you. He took so much already and if you go after him without proof of his involvement with Eva, he will find a way to get away with it."
"Peeta's right," Haymitch concluded. "We need to be smart about this. We have the upper hand since Eva confessed to us. He doesn't know that we know. It'll be an advantage for us."
"Peeta, I'm so angry," Johanna spat. "He brought her into your life."
"What are we suppose to do then," Katniss asked. "Peeta, he was my friend. I trusted him like family. And he hurt you. I don't know if I can…if I see him, I don't know what I would do."
"Katniss, Johanna, please don't do anything," he asked again. "Don't become him. If you kill me, you'll regret it. Don't we have enough blood on our hands? How many more lives do we need to take before we lose ourselves? I may have saved Johanna and Annie, but I still took two lives."
"You were protecting Annie and me," Johanna emphasized.
"And two people are dead. I killed two men. No matter how sick they were I didn't have to kill them. I didn't have the right to take their lives." He sniffed as tears tracked down his cheeks. "Don't think that what Gale did to me doesn't me make made as hell. I want to track him down and kill him, but I don't to go down a path and lose myself. I don't any more blood on my hands. I don't want to remember the lives I took when I was out of control. I lost so much already. I can't lose anymore. I can't lose any of you. Swear to me, Johanna, Katniss that you will do nothing to put yourself in harms way. Right now, he has the law on his side."
"Shit, I just realized," Haymitch grasped the situation on hand. "What am I going to tell President Paylor? She specifically appointed him as the First Guardsmen as reward for his part in the rebellion. He's a hero to most eyes in Panem? Can you imagine the humiliation she will feel for appointing him to one of the highest offices in Panem?"
"Forget Paylor, what I am going to say to Hazelle?" Katniss discerned. "This is going to kill her."
"Paylor has to know what her precious Guardsmen Hawthorne is capable of," Johanna reiterated. "He shouldn't allowed or hold that office. He doesn't deserve it."
"That is why we need to gather evidence and proof of Gale's involvement," Haymitch advised. He rubbed the five o clock shadow already growing on his face. He looked tired and drawn, like he aged in the past 24 hours. We all looked haggard. "We can't afford to make any mistakes. As for Paylor, I'll handle her when I have to. I just can't go to her with our suspicions. We can't go to her and accuse her First Guardsmen without irrefutable proof."
"We have to be vigilante with anyone around us," Peeta cautioned us. He took both Katniss and Johanna's hand and gazed at Delly. "You three are the most important and strongest women I have ever been honored to have in my life. Please don't do anything to jeopardize what happiness and life we've built by seeking revenge and justice in my behalf. I need you to survive this with me. I can't do this without you. All of you."
"Speaking of vigilance, I need to tell you guys something," Haymitch said as he sat down, rubbing his hands together." I've been having this train go through maintenance checks for a reason. This train was equipped and designed by Beetee with the approval of President Paylor. Every morning I run the train's diagnostic communications systems to check for bugs or video feeds. I'm afraid I have disturbing news."
"What is it, Haymitch?" I asked. As the lead security officers, it is my duty to make certain that everyone was safe under my watch. That includes video and audio leaks. I didn't think of checking the system since we were in a private train. I trusted my team to protect and watch my family and friends.
"There has been unauthorized audio communications leaving this train."
"What does that mean?" Delly asked.
"It means that someone in this train has been communicating and sending messages," Johanna explained.
"Every communication we send to anywhere in Panem is recorded and stored in the data banks. I take into account for every single message I've sent," Haymitch added. "And the only person I've been talking to is Effie. I found irregularities in the log. Someone has been in contact or using the radio communication feeds."
"So maybe the guys have been communicating with family," Delly surmised. "What's the big deal?"
"We're on duty, Delly," I interrupted her. "We're not supposed to be in contact with anyone. We stay low profile until our job is done. That means not communicating with family or friends. It's against regulations."
"I'm afraid that we have a leak," Haymitch sighed.
"You mean we have a spy," Johanna concluded.
"And you think it's one of my guys?" I asked in shock. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. It didn't make any sense. "I don't believe it. I had picked them because they are not just soldiers to me they are my friends. People I trust."
"Well unless one of you guys are using the communication console in your sleep, we have a problem," he snickered. "Have any of you been in contact with anyone in Panem?" Haymitch asked. We all shook our heads. "Why do you think I have us stop at every District? This train is inspected for bugs and cameras and any irregularities."
'I thought your maintenance checks were a bit excessive," Johanna surmised. "And you discovered that some is spying on us?
"Well, someone is using the radio to get in contact with someone in District 1. The signals are sent directly to the main offices of the New Guardsmen building. And who do you think has an office there?"
"Fucking hell, we can't trust anybody," Johanna screamed.
"Well, I'm grateful that you didn't suspect Bron or else he wouldn't be here in this conversation," Delly commented. She grabbed my hand. I shook it off.
"Hey, what did I tell you while I'm on duty," I stated a bit irritated by Haymitch's accusation. Her attempt of comfort didn't quell my anger. I knew I shouldn't take it out on her but I did. I didn't mean to be cruel but we had this conversation before. I couldn't be Bron Master, the fiancé while I wore my uniform and carried a gun. I ignored and dismissed the look on Delly's face. She tried to mask the hurt I inflicted unintentionally. Our time together has been minimized due to my job. She knew the conditions and risks of having a relationship with me.
"Give her a break, Bron," Johanna snickered at me. "We're not in public." True, but I was still on duty as the other Guardsmen took turns in patrol even on the train. We had to stay focused.
"Babe, you know that I'm on duty," I reminded her. Delly knew I took my job seriously. I had failed Peeta once and swore it would never happen again. "So Haymitch, do have any idea which one is spying on us for Gale because I need proof like you do that one of my friends is betraying me." I tried not to sound sarcastic and petty. It hurt knowing that one of my own was betraying me.
"Listen, kid," Haymitch said narrowing his eyes. "I'm putting a lot of faith and trust in you to take care of Peeta and everyone for that matter. You're not a Victor or from District 12. I don't know you but I trust Peeta and Delly. They trust you and I trust them. So if I say that someone is using the communication console without any authorization from me, I'm not kidding. These kid's lives and their safety are detriment to me. And no one not even a former Capitolite turned rebel is not under my scrutiny. Hell, even I suspected it was you at first."
"Haymitch, you can trust Bron. He would never let anything happen," Delly insisted. "He would never hurt Peeta." Delly's faith soothed me but, his comment and insinuation stung. We've been through so much together. "What about her?" I pointed to Kara. "She's from the Capitol. Why don't you ask her if she used the radio?"
""I already had. Kara doesn't have access or security clearance to the communication consoles," Haymitch informed me. "And she has always asked to use it since we've been on this train. All of her transmissions have been with Dr. Aurelius in Capitol." He stared into my eyes. "All your guys have access to the radio." My mind spun for a few seconds. I have never communicated with anyone with the exception of my status reports I sent to President Paylor. She didn't' keep tabs on me and trust me implicitly to watch over Peeta and Katniss. My communication with her was brief and to the point. I would send a brief status every three days. If one of my Guardsmen had used it, it was an act of insubordination from a direct order from me, as their commanding officer in this detail. Radio communication was only used with each other. "Do you have any idea who is using the radio?"
"No, but I have a plan," Haymitch noted. "I'm going to give wrong information this afternoon and see who bites."
"I can't believe this," I muttered to myself.
"For now I suspect all of them." I opened my mouth to argue but realized it was futile to make a case for any of them. Eli, Darryn, Jonah and Jace had rose in the ranks with me. We ate, fought and struggled together during the rebellion. Even Todd, the new Guardsmen I picked to help protect Peeta was someone I trusted. To discover that one of them was breaking protocol and communicating with Gale turned my stomach.
"This doesn't affect our trip in any way," Haymitch stated. "Once we leave this room we will not discuss it ever again. There are ears and eyes on us, no matter where we go."
"What are you going to do once you catch our spy?" Johanna asked. She was itching for a fight. So was I. My nerves were shattered due to this betrayal. I couldn't afford to trust any of my guys. It was disheartening. My focus and concern should be the new family I have adopted.
"Bron and I will handle the matter when the times comes." He stared into my eyes. Haymitch trusted me to support and assist him. I couldn't fail or disappoint him. He glanced at his watch. "So, we have at least an two hours before our next stop. All of you should get ready for dinner. Once the train stops we will be taking a hover car and be driven to a restaurant I reserved for us."
"Do you think that's a good idea?" Kara mentioned.
"We go on with business as usual. I made plans to secure us in a private place where we will not be disturbed." I looked at Peeta and Katniss. They both had been quiet during the whole exchange. He held her hand, his eyes focused on their clasped fingers as he drew circles with his thumb. She had a shy smile on her face as she watched him with adoration and love in her eyes. It was as if they were the only two people in the room as they were focused on each other. Delly, Johanna and Kara were in midst conversation over what to wear for dinner. "This meal is the last dinner together before we reached the Capitol. I don't know about you guys but I want to enjoy it while we can."
"Shit, Haymitch, you make it sound like it'll be our last meal together." Johanna teased but I detected a flicker of fear and concern in her eyes.
"As I said, eyes and ears will be focused on all of us," Haymitch reminded everyone. "Whatever privacy we had is non existent once we set foot off this train. We have to be careful of what we say and do from now on. Everyone's safety is my biggest concern since we now know the identity of Eva's accomplice."
"You don't think he's stupid enough to try something, do you," Johanna asked.
"We're in his domain and territory," I informed them. "The Guardsmen assigned in the Capitol are loyal to Hawthorne."
"I trust you to keep us all safe, Bron," Peeta spoke for the first time. "And I know you're someone I trust to keep your promises." I blinked a few times and thought back to our conversation weeks ago. I just hope it wouldn't come to that, but a promise is a promise and I'm a man who can keep his word despite the consequences.
"So about this plan, Haymitch," I asked. All eyes turned to him.
Katniss POV –
My eyes were transfixed at the image before me. Peeta was standing in front of a full-length mirror. I watched the long muscles on his back and shoulders move as he combed his hair with my brush while he was in his tight black boxer briefs. I looked down and stared at the dimples on the small of his back and at the curve of his hard butt. I cringed as my eyes lowered to his lower left leg. The fake limb jutted from his thigh length boxer brief. My heart ached with sadness as I remembered how and why he lost his leg. It didn't make him any less beautiful to me.
I walked in with a long robe to hide the new panty and bra set that I purchased while shopping in District 4. Tonight, I planned to seduce Peeta with my surprise. We held and gave each other long wet kisses in the privacy of our compartment, but since leaving 4, sex was the last thing on Peeta's mind. I didn't blame him. But now as we edged towards the Capitol my need and hunger for his kisses, hands and tongue made my body ache for him. This new sexual awareness made me feel alive like a new woman reborn. This hunger could only be satiated by my Boy with the Bread; Peeta Mellark the love of my life.
I wrapped my arms around his waist pressing my chest on his back. He sighed as he placed both arms on top of mine. "I wish we could stay here in the train. I really don't feel like dressing up and going out to dinner."
"Me, too, baby," I agreed as I lay my head between his should blade.
"I don't feel safe anymore," Peeta confessed. "When we were in 12, at least I knew my surroundings but now…"
"I know, I know," I said as I kissed his shoulder blade.
"It's doesn't seem real." Peeta turned around and embraced me, wrapping his strong arms around my waist. The sparse hair on his chest tickled my face. My Boy with the Bread was developing to be a well-sculpted and sexy young man. Though he still retained his boyish looks and personality, his experiences matured him faster than boys at his young age both physically and mentally.
"What doesn't seem real?" I asked. I looked up to find his eyes closed.
"You, us…the train, everything I guess." He opened his eyes and they mesmerized me. Peeta's face was etched with uncertainty like a little boy lost looking for his mother.
"If there is one thing that you should never doubt, it us Peeta," I told him as I lay my head on the crook of his neck. "We're real." We held each other for a few minutes. "I'm surprised you agreed to Haymitch's plan."
"I don't think I have much of a choice now, do I?" He was resigned and committed. The execution of said plan was risky and dangerous. We were placing a lot of faith on Haymitch and Bron for it to succeed. The plan itself placed everyone we loved at risk. So I was surprised that Peeta agreed to it. "So much of it can go wrong, I mean one wrong move and someone could get hurt."
"Haymitch would not have thought of it if he didn't know the risks."
"I didn't want to involve everyone. If it was just me, then I don't have any objections." Peeta sighed.
"I have complete faith that this will work," I stated. "It'll work, Peeta. Are you having seconds thoughts?"
"Well, it's too late to back out now." He turned and started to dress picking up his shirt. I have become accustomed to his moods swings since leaving District 4. Kara had predicted them. At least they weren't mercurial and volatile like Gale. He went from sullen to moody then anger in seconds. I dismissed thinking about him. All thoughts of my childhood friend only fueled my anger and hate. I was tired of being angry all the time. Peeta taught me that living in anger blinded you from seeing the truth and enjoying the good things in your life. Staying angry was toxic and wore down your spirit and the people around you. Peeta made me happy and I loved him for it. However, my need to protect him from Gale overruled my head. I will find a way to make Gale pay for the cruelty and horrific abuse that Peeta endured.
"I love this color on you," I said as I brushed my hand on his new suit. "It brings out the color of your eyes."
"I can't wait to see you in your new dress," Peeta smirked at me. "I bet I wont' be able to keep my hands off you all evening." He sent me a sultry look, a look that never failed to make me weak at the knees and my heart aflutter. I blushed at the sexy images that populated my mind. I shook them off needing to contain my desire to throw him on the bed, and have him ravage me with talented hands, mouth and tongue while I tried to control myself screaming from pleasure. I swatted his delectable ass.
"Get out of here so I can get dressed," I teased him. "Or we may never make it for dinner."
"Promises, promises." Peeta laughed and dressed so fast I was disappointed by the time he picked up his new dinner jacket. "Thanks for this by the way. It's a perfect fit."
He was shocked but pleased at the clothes I bought for him. The suit he wore was dark blue with a crisp white shirt. The dark color intensified and complimented his crystal blue eyes. A black leather belt and shoes accompanied his ensemble. I looked forward to undressing every piece of clothing later on this evening. I lingered and stalled to change in to my evening attire, as I wanted to surprise Peeta with my new dress. It was an orange frilly knee-length dress with a plunging halter-top. It accentuated every dip and curve on my body. Johanna and Delly spent hours convincing me to purchase the dress when I first saw it. I would never have bought the dress for myself but with Johanna's encouragement, I relented.
'It's his favorite color. The dress was made for you. Peeta is going to love taking that dress off you.' I remembered just how much he loved undressing me. Two seconds flat was all it took for me to cave and purchase the dress. Johanna and Delly teased and laughed at me all afternoon. I didn't care since I knew the result of wearing the dress would please Peeta.
With a quick kiss on my cheek he left our compartment to let me dress and change for our dinner. I was combing my hair when Delly and Johanna entered the compartment. Johanna wore a short, tight, black v-neck sleeveless dress while Delly wore a light blue dress almost identical to mine minus the plunging neck line with cap sleeves and matching color belt. Their hair was down and they smelled wonderful. Both of them were perfumed that fitted their personality. Johanna smelled sharp and spicy while Delly was soft and sweet.
Delly pushed Johanna towards me. I remembered her accusations and it stung that she would rehash history I thought we settled. There was an awkward pause as we stood staring at each other. "So Johanna has something to say to you," Delly surmised. Johanna turned and gave Delly a dirty look then looked back at me. I waited for another attack on my character. I didn't need another guilt trip since I was capable of sabotaging my feelings and love life on my own. My mistakes I had to live with but I didn't need or appreciated it being thrown back on my face when the opportunity arose.
"I'm sorry for attacking you this afternoon," she started. "Stop it." Delly elbowed her to continue as Johanna turned and face Delly who glared back at her. "I just so angry that your ex-bo…" Another elbow connected to her rib. "ouch…sorry…your friend…"
"Former friend," I interjected.
"Right…your former friend took great pleasure in hurting Peeta. And the coward that he is used Eva to help him. I wasn't really mad at you. My mouth sometimes just take over and I can't help it," she explained. "Peeta is my best friend and he means the world to me and when I found out that it was…Gale…I just lost it. I couldn't see or think straight. All I know is that he hurt Peeta and I all I want to do is hurt him back. Real bad. And I took my anger out on you. I'm sorry."
"It's all right, Johanna," I said. "When I first found out, I couldn't believe it. Now, I want to hurt him too. But Haymitch is right, we can't touch him."
"For now," Johanna added.
"Johanna, you promised Peeta you wouldn't go after him," Delly reminded her.
She shrugged her head. "I'll just have to figure out a way and keep my promise to Peeta at the same time." The atmosphere around us turned from awkward to cold sober. "I don't care what he said, I owe him. He saved Annie and me and I couldn't…didn't do the same for him. I owe him." I nodded my head in understanding for I knew what it's like to owe a debt to someone. I never acknowledge the debt I owed to Peeta for saving my life that day when he threw the bread in the rain. I will be forever owing him and I'll gladly repay him for the rest of my life.
"Anyway, do I look okay?" I turned to look one last time at the mirror behind me. My insecurity decided to play havoc on my self esteem at the last moment as I stood before them fidgeting. I turned back to my friends. Delly looked beautiful while Johanna looked sexy. As for me, I'm…me. Awkward and inexperienced was my middle names. I wished for the umpteenth time that Prim was here. I never felt beautiful or sexy. But the way Peeta looked and held me, he always made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. The only girl he desired and loved.
Johanna smiled and exclaimed. "You looking fucking remarkable. I told you that dress was made for you. You have that 'ravage me and fuck me hard' vibe wearing that dress." Well, that was what I had hoped to accomplish just for Peeta. I only felt sexy and desirable when I'm with him.
"Peeta is going to die when he sees you," Delly squealed. I smiled and blushed at their compliments. I usually didn't care for anyone's opinion. Peeta's was the only I cared for. His opinion was the only that counted. I sighed in relief and gratitude for their honesty.
"You're going to be a very lucky and happy girl by the end of this evening, I guarantee you," Johanna promised and winked at me. 'I'm going to make sure of it.' I said to myself. I just hope that we survived Haymitch's plan.
AN: I hoped you enjoyed reading this last chapter. I sort of rushed it so I can upload this update for your guys. Lots of drama and fluff in the next chapter. Thank you for sticking around. Have a great week.