If I Were a Girl

A.N.: nobody suggested this, but I was watching Buzzfeed videos and this idea just struck me, so I decided to write it down. If you have suggestions for future chapters, then please review! Also, I don't own any companies or corporations mentioned. Enjoy!

Zatanna walked calmly through the halls of Mount Justice, here for a visit, only. Then, of course, she passed Dick's temporary room, which he'd taken up since he found that fanfiction about him. In the wee hours of the morning, she could hear his light snoring, the bed not being too comfortable. At this moment, she was feeling particularly devious.

"Nrut kciD otni a namow," she whispered, and listened through the door to make sure it happened correctly. When she heard the light sound of wind, and the slightly higher pitched groan from the person in question, she smiled broadly and left the scene.

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Dick awoke with a satisfied groan, sitting up in the bed while tugging long, thick, black hair behind his ears.

Wait. Long, thick hair? Dick checked again. Yes, his hair was now down to below his breasts.

This could not be happening.

Richard ran to his, or rather her, bathroom mirror, only to find the inevitable. She now had long, silky black hair; radiant blue eyes with thick, long lashes; and decently sized curves.

Only 7:00 a.m. and she could already tell that this was going to be a bad day.

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Dick, after having lain in bed to – ahem – satisfy her curiosities, finally decided to leave her room.

And immediately ran into Batgirl, the very second she was out of the door.

At first, Batgirl didn't recognize the new female standing before her, or quite why she'd been in Nightwing's room, but then the fact dawned on her face. This was, of course, shown by the wide, sparkling smile on her devilish face.

"Zatanna got you good!" she said in a low voice, still smiling like a mad woman.

"Which is why you've got to help me out, please," she pleaded, admitting defeat before the words even left her mouth. After all, it doesn't help one's case to ask for help when one is dressed in shambles.

As a result of the change, apparently Zatanna's doing, Nightwing had scoured her closet for something that would fit her narrow shoulders, arms, and legs. And even in the best fitting clothes she could find, the outfit slipped and slid in the most embarrassing places, resulting in a belt cinched to the very last hole.

To her surprise, her plea didn't fall on deaf ears.

"Okay, okay, I'll help you out on this one. But don't get used to it," she warned, poking one finely manicured nail at the former boy wonder.

She led her through the hallways like a snake and they finally ended up at the room she stayed at on occasion. Pulling the ebony girl through the door and settling her on her bed, Barbara began digging through her drawers, and produced one white bra.

Dick looked at it like it was a huge rat rather than a simple undergarment.

"Do you want to borrow a bra so you're not flopping like crazy?"

"I think I'll tough it out," Dick replied, scrunching up her nose. "This can't last that long, can it?"

Barbara tipped her head in acknowledgement at the truth in her words. Most of Zatanna's spells had a fairly quick end date. On this occasion, she really hoped this one didn't.

"Alright. Well, you're welcome to stay here for the day. Don't make too much noise, obviously."

"Do you mind if I borrow some of your clothes?" Dick asked.

"Go ahead, Dick," Batgirl replied, on her way out the door.

"Dixie," she replied, looking up from the bed. At Batgirl's raised eyebrow, she explained. "It feels weird to be called Dick. So call me Dixie until we get this fixed." Dixie raised her own eyebrow when Barbara smiled just a little too much before leaving the room.

Nightwing, now alone, got up from the bed and approached Batgirl's dresser.

The clothes inside were few, and most of them were also skimpy. She eventually decided on a large t-shirt and sweatpants, preparing herself for all too long a day.

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Okay, this was bad.

Dixie had spent most of her day holed up in Barbara's room, watching TV when Connor was out, eating what she could from the mini-fridge, and mostly cat-napping on the bed. However, when she finally fell asleep for the night, she awoke the next morning in exactly the same state she'd been in.

Even worse was the state of her now messy, grungy hair. Her attempt to brush it only resulted in excruciating pain.

Nightwing, not for the first time, found herself wondering just how girls dealt with this every day! She, to her horror, heard a knock at the door.

"Dick, are you still in there? It's me," Barbara's voice said from the other side of the door. Dixie resignedly opened the door, drawing her lips into a tight line when Batgirl looked back in shock.

"Another day?" Barbara asked.

"Yeah, I think."

"Then take it. I've told the team you're sick and need rest."

"Thanks, Babs. You're a life saver."

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Yet, after two more days, Dixie resigned to her fate. She was stuck.

Batgirl, with a pitying smirk, suggested Dixie's worst nightmare.

"Well, if you're going to be stuck like this, then you're going to have to take care of yourself," she said, prompting a raised eyebrow from the raven-haired girl in the room.

"What do you mean?" she asked nervously, knowing what was to come.

Barbara didn't reply, except to raise her own eyebrow and look at her friend with a duh expression. Dixie paled.

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Dixie squirmed in the too-tight bra which she borrowed from Batgirl. She, not surprisingly, found it incredibly difficult to breathe when her ribcage was being squeezed like a bottle of ketchup.

"So, how do we measure these again?" she asked, gesturing to her breasts.

Barbara explained the ins and outs of the measuring process, which sounded far simpler than Dixie had expected, and handed her the measuring tape which she'd brought.

Dixie entered a stall, removed the shirt and torture device, and proceeded to do as she was told.

"38-B," she announced in a whisper as she came out.

"Come on then," Barbara replied, dragging her off towards the lingerie section.

"Can I ask you a question?" Dixie began, out of the blue as she searched the racks for a decent bra.

"If I say no, will it stop you from asking?"

"No."

"Then by all means."

"Why are you being so nice about this?"

"Oh, I'm saving it up for something special," she announced ominously. "Don't you worry." Worry, indeed, pooled into Nightwing's stomach at her words. The two of them, the ebony now laden with lingerie, stepped through the Zeta tubes, Dixie unimaginably relieved to find the main room empty. She returned to her room to put on one of the better fitting bras and, returning the one she'd borrowed, made her way to the kitchen for some lunch.

Only to immediately find Tim with the same intentions.

He had his back turned to her, so it was only when she cleared her throat that Robin turned to look at the black-haired girl. It was his flustered look, paired with his slight stuttering, that made a bad feeling pool into Nightwing's stomach.

"Uh, hey," Robin said, looking Dixie up and down. "I'm Robin, and you are?" The last phrase was said with a slightly flirtatious manner, only deepening the dread in Nightwing's gut.

"Dixie," she said, rubbing the back of her neck before clasping her hands in front of her.

"Dixie," Tim repeated, taking a seat as the other ebony did the same. "That's a cute name."

"Tim, would you cut it out?" Dixie whispered, seeing Tim's face fall at his first name. "It's me."

Shock registered on the boy's face, followed by cruel, cruel laughter.

"It's not funny!" she snapped, glaring at him the way only a woman could. This, unfortunately, didn't help much as the cackling only died into a light giggle.

"I'm guessing this was Zatanna?" Tim remarked. Dixie's sigh was her only answer.

"Man, there are angry ex-girlfriends, and then there's Zatanna."

"Would you shut up?" Dixie retorted. Suddenly, a snort of laughter came from the doorway, followed by a breathy chuckle. The two looked to see the other female members of the team, Barbara among them. This was what she was saving up for.

Dixie's cheeks colored as she rubbed the back of her neck. M'gann had, in all fairness, a completely pitying look on her face. Barbara was smirking, of course, while Cassie and Karen were a completely different story.

The former looked amused with a slightly disappointed gleam in her eye. Nightwing had no doubt that she'd try to paint her nails or braid her hair at some point. Karen, however, hadn't an ounce of pity in her being. A smirk to rival Barbara's contorted her face, making the dread in Nightwing's stomach flare up.

This was, undoubtedly, going to be one of the most humiliating things that have ever happened.

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The rest of the week passed just like that. The girls struggled, if they even bothered, to keep in their smirks and giggles. The males, she noticed, stole glances at her whenever they thought she wasn't looking, making Nightwing absolutely sick. And this was only the tip of the iceberg.

The rest reared its head one morning as Dixie inexplicably awoke with cramps, headaches, and back aches. Not to mention a craving for chocolate.

Knowing she'd find some in the kitchen, she got dressed in the clothes she'd bought not too long ago and made her way there. Taking two painkillers, she began ransacking the fridge for a bar of the sweet stuff as Batgirl made her appearance. Dixie gave her a nod of acknowledgement before scrunching up her face in pain, ripping the wrapper off the Chocolate. Barbara raised her eyebrow in amusement as the girl flopped onto the couch, buried herself under a blanket, and began binging Supernatural, a show she'd recently found and fallen in love with.

Even more inexplicable was the reason that Nightwing felt tears spring to her eyes during the episodes. She, of course, knew what the matter could be, but she was too deep in denial, and warm blankets, to admit it.

The fact she was stuck between swooning and squealing when Sam and Dean were on screen certainly wasn't helping anything.

"I'll answer you in advance," Barbara suddenly spoke up. "No, you may not borrow my tampons."

Dixie looked up at her with wide, pleading eyes, begging her to smirk, laugh, and play it off as a joke. And smirk she did, as well as chuckle maniacally. But it was no joke.

This could NOT be happening!

"Although if you ask nicely, one of the other girls might let you have some of theirs," she continued. Dixie flopped her head onto the couch cushion below before covering it with the blanket. A low groaning sound could be heard, muffled by the covers.

Uncovering her head, Dixie bawled "How do you deal with this?"

Chuckling at her friend's agony, Barbara responded "Heating pads, Midol, and chocolate." Dixie groaned again, not mentally prepared to put up with cramps and emotions for a week!

Shamefully, she resigned herself to her fate and made her way to M'gann's room. With any luck, she'd be able to help.

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"Hey, Zatanna. How're things with the league?" Barbara began over the phone.

"Oh, they're fine. Business as usual. Why're you calling?" Zatanna replied, knowing none of the bats just called to chat.

"You need to turn Dick back, please." A giggle could be heard from the other end of line. "Seriously! Look, you know how girls are always saying that men could never handle having a period?"

"Yeah."

"We were right and she has done nothing but whine for the whole week! I can't take it anymore, you have to change her back!"

"Alright, alright, fine," Zatanna said, and hung up. In her room, she focused and uttered the words

"Nrut kciD kcab otni a nam." She couldn't be sure if the spell had worked correctly, but she hoped it did, for Barbara's sake.

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Nightwing awoke that morning feeling far better than he had for the past week. Looking down, he suddenly found out why. He rejoiced at the lack of breasts and blood, not regretting the fact that he could no longer play with the former. A hand ran through his hair revealed that his locks were back to their normal length, another thing he was glad for. It was starting to get in the way.

With a smile on his face, he made his way to the kitchen for breakfast, finding Barbara there as well. She pouted upon seeing his male form, disappointed that she couldn't keep up her taunts.

"Good morning," she said, returning her attention to her bacon and eggs. Dick cooked himself the same thing and sat down across from her.

"I'm assuming you talked to Zatanna," he stated, taking a bite from his eggs. Barbara nodded.

"Thank goodness Batman didn't find out or he'd have had her head," he said absently.

"Yep. So you better tread lightly, or he just might." Dick's eyes went wide at the girl's words.

"You wouldn't," he said in fear. She simply smirked to tell him she absolutely would. He sighed and shook his head, feeling as if he'll have to walk on eggshells.

A.N. I had no idea how to end this and I didn't want to keep going on and on, so it is what it is. Let me know what you thought and give me suggestions for future chapters in the reviews! I'd be happy to write them. Plus, the more suggestions I get, the more I'll write, and the quicker I'll update. Thank you for your time and GOD BLESS!