Reflections

The plane was silent, yet no one slept, no one listened to music, read books or caught up on paperwork. Seven faces just stared ahead in silence. Garcia's hand was gripped tightly in Morgan's as if each were holding on to the other for dear life. Her eyes were red from the tears that had been shed for her friend, her sister. Morgan, unknowingly, squeezed Garcia's hand, as Emily had squeezed his in their last moments together. Their last moments together, he still couldn't grasp on to that thought. Rossi sat next to Seaver wondering what she was thinking. She had worked closely with Emily, but there wasn't the emotional commitment that there was with the rest of the team, at least not yet. So, perhaps she'd come through all this okay. Seaver simply thought once again that there was a lot they didn't teach you at the academy. Emily had said experience filled in the rest. Someone, she couldn't think of the author right now; she'd have to ask Reid; Reid would know; had said, "Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God do you learn." She wasn't sure if this was a lesson she was ready for. JJ was, as always, her quiet, composed self, Hotch thought as he stared at her from his seat at the back of the aircraft. Of course, she knew what the others didn't, that Prentiss' physical life had been spared but she'd been lost to them. Did it make him feel any better? No, he decided, it didn't, because even though Emily still lived, a part of her, and indeed a part of each of them had died this night. But, it was Reid that concerned him the most. He had been the most emotional at the time and now he sat alone on the bench seat, staring at his hands that lay, unmoving in his lap.

They had gone back to the police station to collect their things; almost like it was any other case and they were heading home to work on reports. None of them wanted to do the reports from this case. There they had received disturbing news of what had happened to Emily before she'd been impaled, that there was evidence she'd been tied to a chair which faced a computer screen. Boston PD analysts had discovered it had been streaming the interview Rossi and Seaver had had with Fahey before he was shot. JJ also reported Emily had been badly beaten and that Doyle had branded a four leafed clover above her left breast.

Finally JJ stood and walked to the bench seat and sat next to Reid, taking one of his hands in both of hers.

I don't know what it's like to be branded, he thought. But Tobias was and look what happened to him. He raised his head to look at JJ. But I know what it's like to be tied in a chair and have to watch someone die in front of you and worry about your team. I know what Emily must have been feeling. Tears began to meander down his cheeks. Emily's… He stopped, corrected his thoughts and wiped his cheek with his other hand… was strong, but still I could have helped her. Why didn't God let me help her? Now she's gone and I…

JJ seemed to read his thoughts as he could read her eyes. She's not gone Spence, you'll always have her, they said. JJ saw Reid's eyes go blank for a moment as he seemed to watch something that wasn't there.

Reid looked at the window of the plane and, at first, saw only a reflection of himself, "I was winning," he heard himself say as the chess pieces scattered throughout the jet. Then the reflection changed to a dark haired beauty.

"He would have had you in three… Ooh, show me... Chocolate, I love chocolate… What is the matter with you... Maybe you should read that letter again… He's so lifelike…" He almost felt her arms wrap around him like they had in Colorado. "What I did was not your fault… Do you ever think about it, having baby geniuses… That's what I love about you."

Suddenly, as quickly as it came her face was gone, and through the window he spied a falling star.

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Quote by C. S. Lewis