A/N: Two chapters so close together, I'm proud of myself. Also, sorry in advance for the end of the chapter :) Enjoy!

Nami is getting fed up of never seeing Zoro. Why won't he just see his friends? They have all almost given up on talking to him. A few have even said to just let him be, that maybe he'll come around eventually, but Nami knows that's not the case. He seems like if he isn't pushed he'll never see anyone.

She hasn't had a lot of time lately to force him into seeing her, she hasn't been able to make it to his apartment, but today she made time. She needs to see him. She needs to talk to him. This has gone on long enough. She is not going to let him sit around and drink himself into oblivion while avoiding everyone he knows. Yeah, Sanji is there all the time, but he needs more than just Sanji. He's not being healthy being cooped up in there all day every day.

She grabs her things and sets out to Zoro's. She doesn't care what he's doing right now. She is going to talk some sense into him.

As she walks over she thinks of all the things she wants to say to him. How he needs to see other people. How he needs to get out of his goddamned apartment. How he needs to stop drinking so much because she knows it's gotten worse. She isn't sure what exactly else has been going on with him, but she knows that if he were to just go out and do something every now and then it might be a little more tolerable.

She resolves to try to convince him to go out with her. Maybe not out out since she does want him to stop drinking, but out as in go somewhere. Anywhere. He just needs to get out of that god-forsaken apartment.

Her temper gets heated as she stomps up the stairs. She hadn't let it get to her too much, but she is a little angry at Zoro for being so distant without even attempting to give them any kind of excuse. He's completely stopped even trying to get out of seeing anyone, now he just doesn't.

Nami decides she could use a few moments to calm down and knocks on the door. Normally she wouldn't even bother, but she could use the time. She can hear footsteps on the other side of the door and a lock being turned.

She looks at her phone for the time quickly. It's probably Sanji, still too early for Zoro to be awake. As the door opens she sees messy blonde hair and pale skin. Yep, Sanji, and it looks like he just rolled out of bed.

That pale skin is covered in angry red marks and bruises though. Jesus, what happened to him?

"Holy shit, Sanji, what the fuck happened to you?"

"Oh, it's wonderful to see you Nami, dear. But uh, what do you mean what happened to me?"

"Your skin, it's all…" She motions to the side that has the marks. Sanji looks down and his eyes widen. He covers what he can on his neck and chest with his hands and goes a dark shade of red. Nami immediately realizes what those are. "Did Zoro do that to you?" She can feel her face begin to heat up with the image she conjured from that question.

Sanji tries to avoid the topic and motions for her to come in. He sees a forgotten t-shirt lying in the living room and he pulls it on. It's probably one of Zoro's since it's a little big on him. As he turns to grab it, she can see more marks on his shoulder blades that are starting to bruise that look like teeth marks and some fingerprints near his hips. Her eyebrows raise at what that suggests.

"I assume you're here for Zoro?"

"Well, I wouldn't mind seeing you either, Sanji." She gives him a warm smile. She wouldn't want him to think that she only ever comes to see Zoro. "But yes, I am here for the idiot."

"The idiot is currently still asleep, but you're welcome to wake him up. He had a rough night last night, so he'll probably be a little cranky from being tired. Just a warning."

"I can see that." She winks at Sanji and he flushes red again. She had no idea Zoro was so… aggressive in bed. "It's nothing I can't handle, though."

"I'm going to make breakfast if you would like some."

"I would love some, Sanji, thank you." She is not about to turn down Sanji's food. She hasn't had it for a while and it is always a treat.

"Any requests?"

"Anything you make is always delicious." She smiles to him as he makes his way to the kitchen. She takes this cue to head to Zoro's room.

She finds him sprawled on the bed. He had clearly been partially on top of Sanji by the look of it. He's taken most of the bed and his arm is stretched out over the rest. She moves closer and throws the covers over him more; she can do without the bare ass. Nami perches next to him on the empty side of the bed and smacks his head, which only gets her a grunt. She places a hand on his shoulder and tries to shake him awake. She can feel how much more muscular he's become. He really has gotten a lot bigger. His arms and back are more defined than they were previously. She realizes she really hasn't seen him for a while. She shakes him more forcefully and his arm reaches out to grab her. She smacks it away, but he manages to pull her close. She doesn't really stand a chance against him.

"Zoro, stop it, just wake up!"

He mumbles out a 'be quiet' and snuggles up her side.

"Damn it Zoro, I'm not Sanji. Wake up."

He groggily opens his remaining eye and peers up at her. "What the fuck are you doing here?" He does not let go of her though to her dismay.

"Good morning to you, too." He closes his eye again with a groan.

"I don't want to talk. Just let me sleep."

"I don't care, we're talking. And let go of me."

"Stop talking will your shrill ass voice, harpy."

Nami rolls her eyes at him. "Well if you're not going to let me up, at least scoot over."

"Fine."

"And don't fall back asleep."

"Like you can stop me."

She knees him in the groin and receives a pained grunt.

"Shit, ok, I'm up. What do you want?"

"I just want to talk to you."

"Then talk."

"Zoro…" He really is being difficult this morning. Sanji had warned her.

"What? You're the one who wants to talk."

"Yes, and I want you to respond." She waits for a snarky remark, but to her surprise he says nothing. "You need to see everyone, Zoro." She can feel a sigh escape him. "Everyone misses you, and I know you miss them. You can't stay in here all the time."

"I don't."

"Then why don't you come over sometime?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"What could possibly be stopping you from seeing your friends?" She knows there are many things that could be, including whatever depression Zoro seems to be in, but she wants him to actually think about it, to actually say something about it. He won't ever talk about it. And she doesn't even know what is going on with him. They used to be so close; he used to talk to her about things. But now he's just so withdrawn.

"I don't want to talk about it."

She turns her head to look at him. His brows are furrowed deeply and his mouth a hard line. He's staring past her with determination in his eye. His grip on her is becoming a little too tight.

"Zoro let go." He takes a few moments, but he seems to hear her and finally releases her. He rolls to his back and scrubs a hand over his face while cursing under his breath. "What just happened?" She looks at him for a bit longer waiting for a reply. He seems to be mentally pulling himself together. His hand stops rubbing at his face and scrubs through his hair.

"Nothing."

"Zoro-"

"I can't talk about it, ok?"

"Why not?"

"I just physically can not talk about it. Nothing good will come of it. You don't want me to talk about it." Nami is more than a little confused. She still has no idea what is going on with him. He sounds like he's got more than a few screws loose right now. He sighs, probably because of the look on her face. "Look, if you really need to know, talk to Sanji. I can't do it."

"But-"

"Can you just get Sanji right now, actually?"

"Are you ok?"

"No." She can see the masked discomfort that he is trying really hard to hide. He closes his eye tight and runs his fingers through his hair.

She gets herself off the bed and into the kitchen to retrieve the blonde. "Sanji, Zoro is asking for you."

"Is everything ok?"

"He said he wasn't."

"Shit." Sanji quickly moves out of the kitchen and into Zoro's room. Nami follows him, she's curious to see what's happening. She stands on the outside of the room in the doorway watching. "Zoro? Hey, everything ok?"

Zoro looks up to Sanji; he looks increasingly more distressed. He is nearly hyperventilating. Sanji looks back at him with concern written all over his face. He quickly brings him into an embrace and Nami can hear Zoro cursing under his breath. "What's happening, Zoro?"

"I don't know. It feels different. This isn't- shit, get off of me." He shoves Sanji away.

"You need to calm down, just breath."

"I know I need to fucking calm down, it's not that easy."

"I think you're having a panic attack."

"Yeah? Well it feels like it, I'm fucking panicking and I can't breathe."

Nami knows this shouldn't be funny, but watching these two argue back and forth about the best way to get Zoro to calm down is like watching a dog chase it's own tail. They're just going in circles and nothing is being accomplished. Eventually though, Zoro is able to relax and his breathing becomes normal again. He still looks a bit distraught but it is a lot better than what he previously looked like.

Once Zoro looks more or less ok, Sanji brings up the topic of breakfast. "Well, food is ready moss head, if you're hungry."

"I'm not. I just want to sleep more."

Sanji sighs, he is very clear about disliking when anyone misses a meal. "Fine, I'll just put your portion in the fridge."

"Thanks." Zoro turns to go back to sleep.

"You better eat it though."

"I will."

"You sure about that? You've left countless amounts of food I have left for you in the fridge."

"Maybe I just didn't feel like eating your shitty food." Sanji smacks him on the head. "Hey, don't hit me."

"I'll hit you all I want, idiot. You need to eat. All of that ridiculous muscle you've been building is going to need more than you normally eat."

Zoro just grunts a reply clearly wanting Sanji to stop bothering him. Sanji responds with a pretty harsh looking kick to Zoro's back. "Fuck! What was that for?"

"For being a shit head. Go back to sleep, I'm sick of you being so grumpy. I'm going to have breakfast with the lovely Nami."

"Fine."

It's hard to believe that these two have actually been in a loving relationship for well over a year. She has definitely seen the side of them that shows the obvious relationship and that they are totally in love with each other, but most of the time they act like this and she doesn't understand how it works. But as long as they can stand each other then who is she to criticize their relationship. She doesn't think she'd be able to stand being with either of them for nearly as long as they have been with each other.

She heads back out to the living room with Sanji who puts together three plates, one he places in the fridge as he had told Zoro he would do. The other two make it to the small table in Zoro's apartment.

As she begins to eat, she thinks about what Zoro had said earlier. About how he couldn't talk about what was wrong, so she should ask Sanji if she really wanted to know. She has asked Sanji in the past when she knew Zoro wouldn't say anything and he was tight lipped about the subject. She isn't sure she'll get much information from him. But maybe now that Zoro has explicitly told her to ask him….

"Hey, Sanji can I ask you something?"

"Of course, you can ask me anything."

"Earlier, before he had that panic attack, Zoro mentioned that he's not capable of talking about what's going on with him. He said to ask you about it. So, can you tell me what's going on?"

Sanji places his utensils down and looks hard at Nami. "He told you to ask me?"

She nods.

"Alright. Let's finish eating first."

They finish the meal in silence. Nami enjoys every bite of what she had been served, but it doesn't taste quite as good with the looming topic of Zoro. She looks at Sanji while he eats and he looks uncomfortable. He doesn't really want to talk about it either.

The cook takes their plates to the sink and wastes time by washing them and putting them away, avoiding continuing to conversation they had started.

He motions for her to sit on the couch with him. He looks away from her in thought once they are seated though. He had grabbed his pack of cigarettes and begins smoking. She didn't realize he even smoked in here, it doesn't smell like it. After he finishes his first and pulls out another she decides to question him.

"Sanji?"

"Give me a moment. I'm trying to think of a good place to start." She waits patiently for him to gather his thoughts while he puffs on the cigarette. He takes a deep breath and turns to her. "I'm sure you're aware that Zoro has had a rough life." She nods, she doesn't know details, but she does know he has not had an easy life to live. "And I'm sure you remember the organization?" She nods again. She isn't too surprised if this has something to do with that. Sanji takes another deep breath and lets it out slowly. "I guess I'll just tell you chronologically how I heard everything."

He delves into a horrific description of Zoro's enjoyment of the kill, how it gives him some kind of sick high afterwards. He explains how Zoro has been in turmoil because he finds himself disgusting over it, but can't get himself to dislike the euphoric feeling he receives. He then explains the problems he faced once he no longer had the organization as an excuse for the carnage he craved, and how it had evolved from just wanting to achieve that high that he had become more or less addicted to and into something more sinister; how he began to crave the act of killing. How he began to take a turn for the worst at this stage. How he has episodes of loss of control.

He pauses and looks to her for a reaction. She's not sure what to think. What is Zoro, some kind of homicidal maniac? She used to be so close to him, and she had no idea. He was always a little odd, but never had she thought he was so… she doesn't even have a word for it. She looks towards Zoro's bedroom with trepidation. She was just in the arms of a man who craves murder. She has so many mixed emotions. She loves Zoro, he's her best friend, but is this the real Zoro?

After taking in her reaction, Sanji tells her that her exact response is why he has been avoiding everyone. He doesn't want anyone to feel like that about him. He doesn't want to scare anyone, or hurt anyone. Despite his most gruesome thoughts and urges, he does not want to hurt anyone.

He explains how Zoro developed a drinking problem, a real drinking problem, because of all of this. He uses the alcohol to dull his thoughts and senses. He doesn't want to feel any of this. It's nothing like it used to be where he would binge from time to time; this is a full on everyday issue. He recounts his struggles to control himself and how it's become more and more difficult. Sanji tells her of the weekly meetings he's had with Robin, how they try to keep him under control and how they had been trying to figure out what had made him this way.

He tells her of the picture Robin had found of his family. Of how all of a sudden, a few days later he remembered them. He had never known who they were; he had never thought he had a family. And he remembered why he doesn't have one anymore.

He pauses again, this time it seems to be more for himself than for Nami. She's not looking forward to hearing what happened to his family.

After a few silent beats to prepare, he tells her what Zoro had told him. Zoro had never gone into great detail, but the little he had shared was enough. The abuse his alcoholic father put him through, the terrifying night that his father ruined their family. How Zoro had run for his life. How Zoro has been traumatized from the event, obviously, and is now suffering from posttraumatic stress especially since it all feels so fresh to him, and, since his memory returned, how much more of a control issue he has had.

She had no idea this was anything like this. Her heart is breaking for him. No wonder he is the way he is. His pleasure in inflicting harm on others is terrible, but more understandable now. No one goes through something like that and comes out all right.

Sanji continues on about a chance encounter at his restaurant where Zoro claims to have seen his father. And now he refuses to leave the apartment for anything other than working in fear of running into him again.

"Wait, his father is here?"

"That's who he said he saw."

"How can that be? Is he not, I don't know, in prison or something?"

"I'm not sure. But Zoro said he was there." He looks to Nami with slight skepticism on his features. "I'm not sure if he really saw him, or it was just his mind playing tricks on him at this point though. I don't mean to say that isn't who he saw I don't doubt that, but he is pretty unstable right now. He is getting better, but…"

Sanji looks almost worse than Zoro. This is all taking a lot out of him as well. Watching someone you love be torn apart by himself has to be horrible.

"He's still in there, Sanji."

"I know. That's what I'm holding on to. I just…" He closes his eyes and runs a hand through his hair so that Nami can just catch sight of the eye he keeps hidden. "I miss him. I know Zoro is buried in there somewhere and I wish I could find him. I want him to come back. This is all so hard. I want to help him so badly, but there's not much that I can do. It's painful watching him sometimes knowing that I can't do anything about it. All I can really do is just be there for him, but it doesn't feel like it's enough all of the time. And his drinking… he's hardly ever sober and he won't stop no matter what I say. It's just all getting really hard." He looks like he's doing all he can to not break down into tears.

Nami catches movement out of the corner of her eye and turns slightly to see Zoro standing in the doorway to his room. He looks… broken. He heard what Sanji had just said and he looks devastated about it. Sanji turns to see what Nami is looking at.

"Zoro…"

The green haired man slowly makes his way to the blonde. He reaches a hand out and gently touches his face. "Do I really make you feel so terribly?" Sanji looks back at him without words. "I don't want to do that to you. You don't deserve that. I don't want to bring anyone else down with me, especially not you."

What is Zoro doing right now? Nami is getting a really bad feeling.

"Zoro, what are you trying to say?"

"I don't want to do this to you anymore."

"Don't you dare do this. Don't say that."

"Sanji-"

"Zoro, stop." Sanji stands up and moves around the couch to get to the other man. He takes his face into both of his hands. "I'm not going anywhere, Zoro. I don't care what you say. I'm not leaving."

"Then I will."