AN: I tried getting this to you guys as soon as I could :) School's slowly coming to an end and that's what's keeping me from writing. I've been using as much free time as I have to write! I really hope you guys like this chapter as much as I liked writing it!
Chapter 36
The moment I wake up, look over at a sleeping Ashley, and realize that we have school, anger fills every crevice of my body. If humans were powered with batteries of emotion rather than sleep, my anger would keep me powered up for weeks.
Ashley rolls over so that she is now facing me. Before her eyes open, a smile creeps upon her lips. She opens her right eye and soon her left. She's a beauty. She has a bit leftover mascara that has made it's way under her eyes. I reach out and swipe my thumbs under eyes, remove the black ink, and rub it on my shirt. She gives a small, innocent laugh and I can't even believe anybody would have the audacity to intentionally hurt her.
She clutches my hand that has just tucked a stray piece of her bangs behind her ear; I let my hand linger there atop her ear.
This moment right here is perfect. Me and my girlfriend, my life, looking at each other as if we're diamonds or something of the sort. The sun is trying to make it's way into her room through the curtains but fails miserably. I would never complain if I didn't have to leave this bed for the rest of my life if Ash could stay with me here. Thinking about this turns my brain to mush and my stomach into butterflies; I feel a hot warmth creep onto my cheeks.
"What?" She croaks out to my blushing.
"Nothing." I smile and avert my gaze from her.
"Tell me what you were thinking about." She says sweetly in a morning voice.
"You, obviously, and how I wish we never had to leave this bed."
"Okay, then let's not." She moves closer to me and wraps my arm around her neck.
"Okay." I exhale and tell her hair.
"Okay?" She questions and looks up at me from under my arm. I simply nod. Knowing everything she told me about Madison and people at school, I knew I would be a shitty person if I were to make her go back to her own personal hell.
I had mentioned to her that I didn't want to leave the bed, and leave the bed we did not. Literally, we laid in bed all day besides when either of us had to pee or were hungry. Sometimes you need a day to just laze around. Yeah, I know it was just summer, but something feels different about staying home when the school year is in session. If Ashley wants to skip school, I'll let her. I'm not going to try to force her. I have to admit: I so could get used to this staying home with Ashley thing; I enjoy it a lot.
But it's Tuesday now. I know Madison is probably suspicious that me and Ashley both weren't at school and I know I'm going to get whatever is going to be thrown at me. But what if I don't take it? What if I throw back?
"Spence, don't make me go." Ashley mumbles. Her head is shoved into a pillow and I'm concerned for her breathing.
"If it was up to me, I'd never make you go to school again-"
"But?"
"But you have to. I'll try my best to help you get through these next seven months, okay?"
"Ugh, seven months!" She rolls over to face me. "Too long." I grasp her hand with one of mine and intertwine our fingers.
"I agree, too long. It'll fly by. We can do it." I smile assuringly to her and she gives a believing smile back.
On our way to school with Ashley driving, the same pure angry feeling waltz's back into my body. It overtakes me and I can't think of anything else other than what people have done to Ashley. Ashley, full of love and desire and passion. Ashley, tough but innocent. Ashley, undeserving of what she's been put through. I'm disgusted.
"Spence?" I whip my head to the left and see Ashley giving me a questioning look. Her head is peering into the car; she has already gotten out of the car. I, with some effort, give her a laugh and get out of the car, too.
~.~.~.
I can barely contain myself. It seems as if I see Madison behind every corner I pass and I'm not exaggerating. It's taking all of my willpower to not cuss her out or something. I know Ashley wouldn't want me to do that, but part of me wants to disregard that and kick her ass anyway. I'm not kidding when I say that I am infuriated and I could punch her. I've never gotten into a fight, verbally or physically, besides the coming out thing. I've always been one to go with the flow and to not tamper with anything, but this situation is in no way tolerable.
I only have an hour to go. I've got Trig now and at least I will be able to see Ashley. That cancels out from having to see Madison. I hope I'll be able to contain myself and not do anything stupid.
As if on cue, I spot Ashley directly across from me about fifty or so feet away. She doesn't see me since she's looking down as she walks. Even without looking at her eyes, the pain in her movements is evident. She's been broken. Fuck, I'm so mad!
Oh, shit.
Madison has literally just come out of nowhere. Ashley stops abruptly and now Madison's back is facing me, so I can't see Ashley that much. I'm moving quicker now in order to rescue Ashley from whatever Madison's currently putting her through. I'm walking to the side so that I can see Ashley completely. I'm only about twenty or so feet away...
"...too scared to come to school, Davies? Or was yesterday "Lesbian Ditch Day"?" I look back and forth from Madison to Ashley constantly before arriving to the two girls. Madison looks so smug; she towers over innocent Ashley with her asshole friends right behind. Ashley looks like the little nerd who gets picked on; she has three books in her arms. She usually goes to her locker before we go to Trig; that's where we both were headed now. I grab the largest one from her hands and stand in between Madison and Ashley, moving so that I am now no longer in the middle, but instead facing Madison with Ashley practically hiding behind me.
"Oh, hi, sorry," I smile sarcastically at Madison. "I heard "Lesbian Ditch Day" and I knew this was some sort of convention that I just couldn't miss," Well, there's one way to come out at school. "What were you saying?" Madison looks back at Sherry and Danielle before smirking back at me.
"So, the whole school's right. You and Davies are fucking." She says this matter-of-factly and I drop the smile I had on. I'm so not dealing with this shit right now.
"What's your problem? I didn't know you were so insecure that you have to make everybody else seem like a shitty person when, in actuality, you're the bitch." Madison's smirk evaporates. There is no going back now. Even if there was, I wouldn't.
"Spencer, please don't-" Ashley squeaks out from behind me.
"Listen to your little girlfriend." She talks down to me.
"Shut up and don't tell either of us what to do."
"Wow, aren't you two just the fiercest freaks at this school."
"Who do you think you are to tell someone that they shouldn't be alive? What kind of power do you think you have? To make someone feel so broken just by being who they are!"
"More power than you will ever have," Madison gives a haunting laugh and says, "Chica, I am not just a bitch. I am the bitch," As cliché as can be, she tosses her hair over her right shoulder. "But you know what I'm not?" She casually asks before leaning closer and snarling: "A dyke."
I drop the book I was holding and it lands right next to my left foot. People look to the source of the noise and find me and Madison about a foot apart. "What's wrong with being a dyke?" I say, rather than ask, in a monotonous voice.
"Oh, I could go all day. Let's start with the basics: it's disgusting, it's embarrassing, it's intolerable. Do you think we want you perverts staring at us?" By this time, there is a well crowd forming. "We don't. It's unnatural. It's sickening. You people don't belong here-"
"So basically," I cut her off in a loud voice. "What you're saying is that if someone's gay, being who they are isn't acceptable. Being who they are isn't okay and who they are shouldn't be flaunted. They shouldn't be who they are; in fact, they should act like someone they're not. Is that what you're saying?" I practically shout at her in just a few short breaths. I feel a slight tug on my shirt and I quickly push Ashley away from me.
"That's damn well what I'm saying! You're an embarr-" She's cut off by my right fist to her mouth. She flinches and her head flies backward. I watch as blood dribbles down her chin. She spits out red saliva and before I realize what I've done, not regretting it, I'm the one being socked. She gives me a hard blow to my left temple and I immediately feel the headache. It feels as if my brain has been disconnected and it's in my skull just bouncing around. Everything's going in slow motion. Despite that, I give her another punch to her abdomen and immediately retreat to her nose. I feel the crack in her nose the instant my fist touches it. Glancing back at my knuckles, I see Madison's blood on me and I feel sick. Angry, but sick.
"Don't you dare talk about us like that! Don't talk about anybody like they're less than a human being!" I scream at her. "Do you think we can help the way we are? Because we can't! And if I could, I wouldn't change myself! I'm proud of who I am! Good luck finding love in your life, bitch!" I grab Ashley's arm and drag her away from the scene. We have a bit of trouble escaping the large crowd that had formed around us. I glance back and realize that nearly everybody is staring at me and I don't know what to make of that.
"You're going to get suspended." Ashley blankly says to me. I turn around to face her after we've escaped the madness.
"Huh?" My eyes make their way to where hers are looking. I see the principal storming this way.
"You just go to Trig, okay? Drive home. I'll call you as soon as I can," She opens her mouth to speak, but I stop her. "Don't. No questions. Go straight to Trig. I love you." I rush out. Then I meet my principal halfway and don't bother looking back toward Ashley. I know she's gone anyway.
Ashley's POV
I definitely didn't know it was possible to lounge so many ways on stairs. I've been so bored sitting here for hours after I got after school. I haven't heard from Spencer yet, but I know she'll call. I know she'll be okay, I know this whole thing will be okay. Maybe not right now, but eventually. Spencer taught me that.
As I lay my back against the stairs, I hear keys fumbling with the door. I immediately bounce up and open the door before Spencer can get it open herself. Our eyes briefly meet before she looks away in a semi-bashful manner and my attention is drawn to the sight on her left temple. I move out of the way to let her in and then shut the door and locking it behind me.
"Hi." I say quietly.
She slowly turns around and her attention is removed from the ground and on my face. "Hi." Her voice is the same level as mine.
"What happened?"
"I got into a fight," She smiles toward the ground and I feel a small smile form on my lips. "Then I got suspended and they called my parents." Crap. My smile drops and I'm instantly worried.
"What'd they say?"
"Well, they were upset with me," She exhales. "But it has been worse. I explained how it happened and why I did it. I think maybe they understood. They weren't thrilled about it, but like I said, it could have been worse."
"Why did you do it, Spence?" I ask, still looking at her face.
"To make a point," She says and then looks me dead in the eyes. "And for you." Quicker than I could decipher, her hands are around my waist and the once there distance is gone. I smile as my heart flutters in my chest. I stare at every part of her face: her glacier eyes, her adorable nose, her small chin, her rosy cheeks, her flawless skin, and most importantly, the black and blue area to the direct left of her left eye. Her eye itself is a bit redder than the opposite. I can make out knuckle marks. Fuck Madison.
"Thank you, really. I wish she hadn't hurt you." I pout and remove one of my hands from around her neck to tenderly touch around the bruise.
"It's okay. It was worth it." She smiles with a look of revenge on her face as she scrunches up her nose satisfyingly. "Too bad I didn't knock her down and get a few kicks in." She says in the most serious and regretful tone.
"Whoa, calm down on the pyschopathic thoughts, Spence," I say and then giggle. I've never seen this side of Spencer before, but I'm actually glad I have. I know she wouldn't go around hurting people for the fun of it. Doing what she did today was so weird. Spencer has always been kind and against violence and I wonder why she truly did do what she did. Maybe she really did do it for me. I'll go with what she said. My girlfriend is the best.
I slither out of her arms but take one of her hands with me. I lead her to the couch in the living room and have her lay down on it. I tell her to stay, run into the kitchen, fill up a small zip lock bag with ice, wrap a napkin around it, and meet Spencer back in the living room. As I spot her, she's beginning to stand up. She faces me and I ask, "What are you doing?"
"I was going to get Advil. I've got a killer headache." She takes a step and I stop her.
"I'll get it." She gives an appreciative smile and sits back on the couch. Along with the ice, I bring her two pills and a cold water bottle. She accepts the pills and swallows them down in an instant, taking just one gulp of water. I sit on the couch and pull her down so that her head is on my lap and her feet are up on the couch. She kicks off her shoes before doing so. Gently, I place the wrapped up ice pack on the side of her face and I nearly cringe when she does upon making contact with the pack. I very slowly let the pack settle on her face, holding it still, and watch Spencer's face as it contracts from pain to relief. I flip on the TV and go through the guide and spot that Criminal Minds is on. I see Spencer form a small smile as I click to the channel.
Spencer's eyes look droopy and I know she's sleeping into sleep, but I don't stop her. I lean my head down and kiss her forehead, careful to avoid anywhere near her bruise. She smiles and grabs one of my hands and holds it. I watch as sleep overcomes my girl.
~.~.~.
Spencer's POV
Oddly, I wake up wide awake. Too bad I'm not going to school today. Or tomorrow. Or Friday. Glancing at the clock over Ashley's shoulder, I see that it is only five thirty-six in the morning. I lay my head back down on the pillow so that I'm facing Ashley. She's sound asleep. She's laying on her stomach with her arms out and under the pillow that her head is resting on. Her head is facing me, her mouth open just a tad. Her curly locks are thrown over to the opposite side, leaving nearly her entire face exposed. I stare at her in the non-creepiest way for several minutes, admiring her features, trying to prepare myself for what I'm going to tell her. I watch as a single ounce of drool escapes from her lips and slides on to the pillow just under her. I reach out and wipe the drool off of her face with the back of my hand.
She stirs slightly and her mouth closes. Her forehead crinkles up. I lie perfectly still while my gaze still rests on her face. A few short seconds later, her eyes squint open as if she's gazing into the direct sunlight when, actually, there is no sort of brightness in the room.
I give her a warm smile which she returns. My hand, which rests palm down on the bed in front of me, is grabbed by Ashley's hand and brought close to her face. I move myself closer to her. Cuddling with my hand, she smiles into it and closes her eyes again.
"Ash?" I whisper.
With her smile still on, she answers in a whisper, "Yes?"
I attempt to swallow, but my mouth is so dry nothing helps my throat. My hesistation causes Ashley to open her eyes. I watch for a few seconds as her smile fades.
"What is it, Spence?"
I open my mouth to speak but don't know how to form the words. "I...Um... I," I stutter out. "I'm going to move back in with my parents." I close my eyes and wait for her response. When nothing comes, I open my eyes to see what awaits me. As I do, Ashley's head is in motion and she lets out a soft laugh. My hand remains in hers, but her head is facing opposite; her hair tosses over to my side.
"Well, then that was kind of pointless to buy the car."
I give her hand a squeeze and smile. I'm glad she didn't get upset.
"Are you mad?" I tentatively ask.
She moves her head back to face me. She looks me in the eyes and tells me, "No," I believe her. I stare down at our interlocked fingers. I softly rub my thumb against the side of her hand underneath her thumb. "I am gonna miss you, though."
"And I'll miss you, too. You can come over any time you want, though."
"You, too," We smile at each other for a long time before Ashley scoots into me, her head resting just under my chin. "When are you leaving?" She whispers.
"This weekend."
"Geez, Spence, don't sprint out of here soon enough." I giggle and hold her tighter to me.
I have hopes for the future. These hopes involve me and Ashley, alone, a home, a future together. Of course these aren't the only hopes I have, just the ones that I'm most hopeful for and know that they are possible. I know that I love Ashley with my entire being. It's crazy how just a year ago we had already become best friends and now look at us. We're strong and I know we can make it. I'm devoted to her and she shows me the same devotion. I don't doubt us for a minute.
"I'm not leaving you because I'm tired of you, you know." I smirk.
"I know," She releases my hand and rolls over to her back, sticking her hands under her head. "I can't wait until you miss me when you're gone," She says in a sassy tone then looks directly at me with a smirk on her face as well. "Because I know you will."
I fling a pillow at her face, but not too hard, and say, "Shut up, I know."
We giggle together and eventually that somehow leads to Ashley leaning over me. "Don't make me go to school today without you." She pouts and I so want to kiss it away.
I laugh and say, "But you already missed on Monday."
"Yeah? So did you. And you're missing for three more."
"Yeah, but I'm suspended. You're not."
"But," She rebuts. "I'm scared to see Madison." A look of worry fills her face as she averts my gaze.
"Baby," I turn her face to look back at me. "She's suspended, too. She's done much worse than I have."
She smiles. "Please let me just skip today? Please?" She drawls out the word, aside the pout.
"Fine! Put that thing away." I motion toward her lip. She gives me a nose-crinkling smile before puckering her lips up for a kiss which I gladly accept.
~.~.~.
Ashley's POV
Spence and I allow ourselves to drift off to sleep except for the fact I don't allow myself. Instead, I lay here clutching Spencer close to me and dreading what's next. I know I'm being a little dramatic; I mean it isn't like one of us is moving away. I'll still see her at school. But living with Spencer has been wonderful. Spending my days with the only one I want to spend them with and being with her twenty-four-seven has only made me realize that I am so attached to her. I don't know what it's going to be like when she leaves. I don't want to be selfish. I know that she misses her house and her family and I know that she loves me. I guess I need to let her do this because college is coming up and if she happens to leave the state, oh God, I don't even want to think about that, I know she will regret not being as close with her parents. I'll always be here, I'm not going anywhere. But these are her parents I'm talking about and they're only getting older. She needs to spend as much time with them as she can. At least she has parents that love her so much. I don't want to be the one to deprive her of them.
I'm glad we have the next few days together, though.
I feel a stirring next to me and open my eyes. It's brighter in here. Below me slightly is Spencer. I'm on my back, holding her to me, and she's on her side laying into me. Just seconds after I open mine, she opens her eyes, stretches, and looks up at me with a smile.
"Good morning." I say.
She inhales and says, "I'm hungry."
"Wanna go make breakfast?" She nods with puppy-dog, innocent eyes.
It's eight o'clock when we begin to prepare for our gourmet meal. Together we make pancakes, bacon, sausage, fresh fruit, juice, and coffee. We take our time in this, savoring each remaining moment with each other. We're finished cooking by nine and we begin our meal together. I sit across from Spencer and hold her hand, only looking away when I'm grabbing a piece of my food. She looks at me just the same amount and has conversations with me through our eyes. Our responses are smiles and giggles and blushing cheeks.
She tells me something her eyes can't: "I'm full."
"Me, too. Wanna sit on the couch for a bit? Then maybe we can do something today."
"I'm not really supposed to leave the house..."
"But?" I continue.
"I'll go wherever you go." She smiles compromisingly.
We watch the news for a total of five seconds before switching it to a recorded episode of Criminal Minds. We've both already seen it, but we watch anyway. Spencer could see an episode a hundred times and she'd still watch it.
Afterwards, we washed the dishes together and put them away together, all while talking of nothing relevant—just nothingness, but the best kind of nothingness. It's so comfortable with Spencer. It's so great that I can be so obnoxious and she still loves me endlessly.
"So," I put the last dish away and turn to face Spencer. She's leaning against the island, gazing expectantly at me. "Any preference for today?"
"Surprise me. But no blindfolds are involved!" She points an accusatory finger toward me and dips her head slightly. I just shake my head and giggle, acting as if she's crazy. She knows me so well.
"Would you rather lay in a cage full of tarantulas or," She pauses to think. "Worms?"
"Ew. I think I'd have to go with the worms. At least they can't crawl wherever."
"Yeah, but they're slimey and wiggly and," She shudders. "Ew."
"So you're saying you'd rather lay in tarantulas?"
"Yes. They're just giant spiders."
"Just giant spiders? Spence, you're terrifed of spiders." She blushes and I giggle. She smiles.
I take a bite out of my deli sandwich. "Would you rather eat five live cockroaches or one giant squirrel?" I squeeze my nose up; she does the same.
"Can I fry the squirrel?"
"Sure." I laugh.
"Then definitely the squirrel."
"Me, too," Spence and I are enjoying a late lunch at a cute little sandwich shop on the beach. We spent the morning roaming up and down the beach, but not going in the water due to the temperature of it and outside, and walking along the peer with Spencer in my grasp. She loves the pier, but she always wonders what would happen if we were on the end of it and it just broke and fell. I kept telling her it wouldn't, but if it did, I told her I would hold on to her and I'd save her. She believed me. "How's your sandwich?" I ask after a few seconds of silence. I needed to hear her voice talking to me again.
"Yummy. It totally hits the spot. Yours?" She says after swallowing.
I speak with my mouth full, "Delicious." We giggle like little school girls. Her laugh is such a beautiful melody. I wish I could click a button and her laugh would come out of it.
"So, what do you wanna do for the rest of the day?" She asks, swallowing the last bit of her sammie.
"I was thinking we could try to swim at the beach? It's the warmest around afternoon, so I'm sure it'll be warmer than earlier. Then maybe shopping on Rodeo?"
"My funds are at your house. I only brought a bit with me." She says disappointingly.
"Don't worry about it."
"Ashley, I-"
"You done? Let's go." I pull her up and drag her away with me to the cool salt water sea.
~.~.~.
To much of my dismay, Spencer forced me to go to school on Thursday and today. I don't use the word "force" lightly. I literally mean she dragged me out of bed, changed my clothes, shoved a poptart in my mouth, and threw me into my car after turning on the car. I figured I had gotten that far already, I might as well just go to school. So I obeyed her and went to school both days. It wasn't pleasant, but it would have been worse if Madison had been there. It also would have been better if Spencer was there, but then again, Spencer makes every situation better.
It was weird, though. Everyone would glance or stare at me while I'd walk throughout school. Hardly any would say anything. I didn't know what was up. Maybe it was the fact they pretty much knew Spencer is my girlfriend or maybe it was the fact my girlfriend had decked Madison, the most popular leech in school. Maybe they thought it was strange that innocent Spencer had a whack at it rather than her usual bad-ass girlfriend. No matter the reason, the vibe was weird. But whatever, it means nothing.
Anyway, I asked Spencer to go on a date with me tonight. Very fortunately for me, she, for once, doesn't work tonight. I want tonight to be extra special since it's my last night alone with her until I don't know when, if there ever comes another time for it. But I know there will be in the future.
I quietly open the door and shut it the same. I tip toe up the stairs and peer down the hallway, careful in case I spy Spencer in the hall. I make my way to my bedroom door, a secretive smile on my face. The door is cracked open. I discreetly peek one eye through it. Spence is laying on her side, opposite me, with a book in her grasp. Oh, Spence, I would hate to disrupt you...but I would so love to!
In one big motion, I fly through the door and literally jump to my bed while yelling, "AAHHH!" In a deep tone. Spence drops her book and nearly cracks her neck by how quickly she turns around with a look of pure panic all over her face. I topple over her, tears spilling down the sides of my eyes, and clutch my stomach as I try to get my laughter under control.
"You bitch! You want me to have a heart attack and die or something?" She shouts.
I'm laughing too hard to take her seriously. Her face. Her face was so priceless when I scared her. If only I had recorded that.
"That wasn't funny!...Ashley...Ash..." I watch as she cracks a smile and soon she's laughing along with me. While laughing, she wipes the water away from my eyes. I pull her to me and then on top of me. I can feel the heat of her skin through my jeans. I simultaneously place my arms around her neck and lift my head up to kiss her. Her lips are moist and I feel her smile continuously through the kiss. I taste the flavor of Spencer and get lost in it. We stop and she lays her head on my chest, just under my chin. I stroke throughout her messy locks, taking in all of this. I am so dreading tomorrow. The thought of it makes me want to cry. But I can't think about it now.
"I missed you." I tell her with a smile.
"I miss you, too." I quirk a brow at the present tense, but I say nothing.
"I was thinking we could leave around five? Is that okay?"
She lifts her head up and I stop stroking. She looks me in the eye and says with a smile, "It sounds perfect."
After finally parting ways, I shower upstairs while Spence gets ready downstairs. We agreed not to see each other until it was time to leave. I am excited to see Spencer's apparel for tonight's activities.
I shower, throw on sweats, blow dry my hair, then straighten it out of it's crazy mess. Numerous outfits later and hair that had begun to frizz back up, I finally choose an outfit and put it on. I speculate myself in my body-length mirror. I'm wearing a blood red halter top, black shorts, and casual black heels. To add to my black purse accessory, I've got a black coat for when it gets cooler and the jewelry Spence has given me. I straighten out the bits of hair that had started to curl up before heading to the make up. I put on foundation, blush, smokey-eye eyeshadow, a tad bit of eyeliner on the bottom, and mascara. I finish my outfit off with two spritzes of my normal perfume. Glancing at the clock to my right, I see that it is four fifty-two. Now I'm the one running behind. I grab my purse off of the counter and shut the light off in the bathroom as I book it to the stairs.
"Spence, I'm coming!"
"Finally. I thought we'd never get to go." Her voice becomes clearer with each step I take. Then I see her. My breath literally gets stuck in my throat. This is not Spencer Carlin, this is an angel.
Her patient smile draws my attention. I move my eyes over her body. Yeah, I'm checking her out. She has on dark skinny jeans and tall, black high heels. She's wearing a black strapless top that leaves her shoulders bare, sagging off the side, with the bottom of it ruffled up so that the slightest amount of skin is shown. Her hair falls in curls behind her back, part of it tucked behind her left ear. In her hand at her side is a small black bag, not too fancy and not too casual. I take in all of her and before I know it I'm nose to mouth with her (her heels make her significantly taller than me). I look at her part of her face. It's glowing, literally. It's covered lightly with foundation and light pink blush. She did a good job at trying to hide the bruise. Her face is topped with tiny sparkles. I notice the sparkles also lie on her shoulders, neck, and arms. Her eyes are seemingly popping; she has little dark brown eyeshadow, but mostly eyeliner and mascara. Her eyes look huge. They're so blue and beautiful. She's beautiful. Not to mention, she smells amazing.
I take her hand. "You are..." I say but no words come out.
"You are, too." She smiles and I lead her to my car.
We saw a classic romantic chick-flick. It centered around a guy who met this girl, but he was already enlisted for war, but she waited for him, and he got to visit occasionally, but when he came back for good, and she was unaware of that, she had married somebody else. It was terrible. The movie was great, but the fact she did that was terrible. Their love was so true and so strong. Spencer and I don't know what in the heck she was thinking. When the credits started to roll, I lifted my head off of Spencer's shoulder to see that she was slightly crying. That's how powerful the movie was.
I escorted her back to the car and we drive about ten minutes further to the restaurant I am taking her to. I drive us to King's, a fancy seafood restaurant. I park and look over at Spencer, raising my brows at her. She looks back at me, her eyebrow quirking as well.
She says, "King's? I'm impressed," In a formal tone. "And also starving," She moans. "Let's go!"
I watch her remove a piece of shrimp from the small platter, dip it in the sauce, and insert it into her mouth. A few bites later and the shrimp is gone. She sets the tail gently on the platter. She looks up from it, tilts her head in her oh-so cute way, and says, "What?"
"Nothing. I just love being with you." I say and smile sweetly to her.
Her pearly whites shine back at me. She reaches up and cups my hand with hers and says, "I love being with you, too."
With just our luck, the waiter brings over our main course which consists of crab, scallops, and fried salmon and cod. We heave into our food, talking little. Time takes its course and, little by little, we stop eating as our bellies can't take anymore. As the food disappears, so does our talking. It takes far too much effort. It hurts to even laugh, which means I'm in constant pain because Spence always makes me laugh.
Soon, we regain our abilities to breathe, talk, and laugh. We take our time in everything we do. It's nice. Having no rush or no place to be. It will be like this some day, I know it.
I finally pay the bill and leave a nice tip; the waiter was a nice guy. I don't think he got the clue that we were on a date, though, despite the hand holding. He definitely kept checking us out and attempting to hit on us. Boys are so dumb.
Once we're in the car, I say, "I have one more stop I want to make. Is that okay? We don't have to be there for long."
"I'll be there for as long as you want us to be," She purrs. "Because you're my ride home!"
"Shut up! I'll leave you there!"
"As long as it's not some underground sex trafficking place, I'm good." She laughs and I smirk at her and give her a wink. A look of worry crosses her face and quickly evaporates.
We pull into one of the lots at the beach. I park. There aren't too many people here. The lights on the pier are shining and there are a few bonfires, but it isn't crazy packed.
I lead Spencer along the beach near the water. We don't walk to where our feet will get wet because it's cold out tonight. I take her hand in mine and rub the back of it with my thumb. It's silky smooth and from that I can tell she's calm. I am, too, and hope she feels that from my hand. Spencer knows where we're going now because upon reaching it, she sits down. I join her at our spot at the beach. No matter the time of day, this spot can always soothe and relax me. Maybe because I think of Spencer and it's at the beach. Such a perfect combination.
I sit cross-legged while Spence hugs her knees to her chest.
"This is my favorite spot." She says.
"It's mine, too." I say and look over at her. She's looking toward the water; the wind is blowing her hair back as if a fan is blowing straight into her face, like a model at a photoshoot. I lean myself to her and pull her to me with my left arm around her shoulder.
"Why's it your favorite?" She almost whispers.
"Because I really love the beach. It calms me. And this spot makes me think about you. It's almost incomplete if I'm here without you," She lets out a puff of air and smiles at me. "What about you? Why's it your favorite?
"The same exact reason. I don't think I'd be able to come to this spot without you. I just wouldn't be able to. It's like I have to have you in order to enjoy myself. You and the beach are the perfect combination, you know. You have the ability to calm me and also the ability to rile me up and persuade me and drive me insane. I don't know how you do it, Davies, but I'm so glad you do." I feel the flames on my face and I let out a shy giggle.
"What can I say? I'm one of a kind," I say in a seductive tone. She laughs this time and I chime in with her. Suddenly, she shakes and I look at her. Her face is completely normal. I look down and her arms have goosebumps. "You cold?"
"I'm okay." She shakes me off.
"Here." I let go of her and slide off my jacket. I fling it around her shoulders and she nestles into it. I knew she was cold. I slide back and lean myself against the rock and pull Spencer in between my legs. She quickly relaxes and settles into my body. I wrap my arms around her neck and she holds onto them.
"Thank you." She whispers.
"You're welcome."
After a minute or so of silence, she speaks up. "Do you ever wanna just sleep out here? In front of the ocean, under the stars? In the sand? The only sound you can hear are the waves breaking on the beach and all you can feel is the crisp, salty sea air. I think it would be nice."
"Wouldn't you get cold?"
"Probably. I guess I would bring blankets. And you." I smile.
"We should do that some time, Spence."
"Really?" She asks in a hopeful, child-like voice.
"Really."
"What else do you wanna do?" She asks.
"With you?" I ask this in the most serious of ways.
"Well, no, just in life in general."
"Uh, I haven't really thought about it. I wanna do anything I'm able to do. And skydive. I so want to skydive." She smiles.
"Aren't you scared?"
"Scared of what?" I ask.
"The height. Falling through air. The possibility of your parachute not working and falling to your death." She bluntly says.
"Not really. If I wanna do something, I don't want any fears to hold me back."
"So as long as you're happy with the outcome, you'll do something? Despite the risks."
"Definitely." She nods at my response.
"I want to travel the country on a roadtrip." She says after a bit.
"That would be fun. Going to all sorts of new places and seeing how other people live."
"Exactly!" She says. "I want to go to all those places I see in pictures. It's cool being in LA. I've always wanted to come here, maybe not to move here, but now I'm so glad I did," She turns to look at me and I kiss her right under her right eye. "I can't believe I almost stayed in Ohio with Debbie."
I throw my head back and laugh. I just say, "Debbie." Spence laughs, too.
"What do you want to be?"
"Huh?" I ask, perplexed.
"I mean for a career."
"Oh," I ponder. "I don't exactly know. I guess an artist. I love writing my own songs and singing them. I'd love to make albums and have other people listen to my words. I'd love for you to be my inspiration." She looks down and smiles bashfully.
She looks up in that same bashful manner and says, "Can I be your inspiration now?"
"You already are." I kiss her nose.
We sit there for a bit longer, listening to the waves and feeling the breeze, listening to the steady breaths of each other and feeling Spencer's chest puff up and down. It's all so blissful. Spence gets up and holds her hand out for me. I take it, she helps me up, and we walk slowly back to my car, letting the water hit our feet.
~.~.~.
I watch Spencer from the doorway. She's washing her face; the mascara drips down her face and I laugh. She does, too. She washes the soap off and I hand her a warm towel to wipe her face with. We brush our teeth together and she bounces off to bed, while I drag myself to it. It's killing me knowing that she's leaving in under twenty-four hours.
She smiles at me from the bed and I turn off the light as she pulls me in. I quickly mold myself into her body and I try to loosen up in her grip. I feel her legs right behind mine; I wrap one of mine into them. I grasp her hand that's holding my shoulder. Her other arm slithers to the side of my head so that I'm laying my head against it. She begins stroking my hair with that hand which makes it so hard for me to stay awake. I need to savor as much time as I can with her.
"I'm going to miss you so much." I whisper, almost asleep.
"I'm going to miss you, too. I'm sorry for doing this."
"It's okay. I want you to be happy."
"I'm happiest when I'm with you, but I feel like I owe my parents more. You know?"
"You don't need to explain, Spence. As long as you're happy, so am I." She tightens her hold on me. The hand that was stroking my hair now rests on the top of my forehead, cooling it down.
I'm almost one hundred percent asleep when she whispers, "Maybe it can be like this someday."
"Like what?" I murmur.
"You and me. On our own."
"Don't get my hopes up." I say and chuckle in a sleepy manner.
"Someday."
"Someday soon?"
"Really soon," I allow myself to finally sleep when she says, "I love you, Ashley."
"I love you, too, Spencer."
"Don't leave me." She whispers so quietly I can't tell if it was real. I answer anyway.
"I'll never. Don't leave me, either."
"Never." She finally grants me permission to fall asleep gracefully.
~.~.~.
This morning is a blur that I wanted to never come. Since we woke up so late, we had less time to make and eat breakfast together and lounge around together. To my dismay, I helped Spencer gather what she had been keeping at my house and bring that to the front. Her dad will be coming to help transport what she has here. She doesn't have much, so it'll probably only take one trip between the two of them.
"That was my dad," She says, coming into the living room with her phone in hand. "He'll be here in ten."
"Already?" I whine. "I miss you already," She gives me a smiley-pouty face and spreads her arms out. I fall into them and hold myself there, wanting to never let her go and let her leave. "Do you have everything outside already?" I ask, holding her to me all the while.
"It's all there." She says, muffled by my hair.
We pull apart. I ask, "Well, now what?"
"We wait." She pulls me over to the couch with her. She sits and I sit with my legs over lap. I place my head in the crook of her neck; she holds me there.
We talk about unimportant topics to avoid the fact she's leaving. I honestly don't know what I'll do when she leaves. I'm going to be so bored. I guess I can write a song about how my girlfriend left to go live with her parents to finish out her senior year. Ah yes, my first hit single.
The doorbell rings and I lift my head up to look at Spencer. She's looking toward the door. She looks at me, sadness in her eyes. I know she saw that and more in mine, too. I grudgingly remove my legs from on top of her. I stand up and pull her from the couch. I let her lead me to the door, where we greet Arthur. He hugs us both and says how good it is to see me. He says some other things, and Spencer says some things, but I can already feel the sadness and missing coming in. They take the small boxes to their cars and that's when I realize I need to help them out. Once they're all loaded, Arthur turns to face us.
"Ashley, thank you for taking such good care of my daughter. I'm sorry to be stealing her away from you." He chuckles.
"Anytime, Mr. C," I look from him to her and back to him. "You guys are welcome over any time. Paula, too." I give a tight smile. Spencer shifts her stance.
"Thank you, Ashley. The same goes for you," He looks at Spence. "Well, I'm going to get this stuff home. Take your time gathering the rest of your things, honey." He kisses Spencer on the forehead and then hugs me. It's warm and full of appreciation, just like Spencer's hugs but bigger.
"See you around, Mr. C." I tell his back. He waves back to us and we watch as he drives off.
"So," Spencer says, kicking around pebbles with her feet. "I guess this is it."
"I guess so." I shrug.
"Thank you for taking me in. Being able to live with you, eat with you, see you, and wake up with you every morning was my version of Heaven. I'm so glad I got to spend so much time with you."
I smile and feel like I'm going to cry. I pull her in before she sees.
"I love being with you, Spence. You know it's my pleasure." She gives a tiny giggle that I feel in our embrace.
"There's always the future." She says, rubbing the small of my back.
"I can't wait for it."
She pulls apart. "Me, either."
"Bye, Spence."
She drops my hand and steps back. "Goodbye, Ashley." I watch her enter her car. She waves before driving off. I watch until the car goes completely out of sight, and even then I stare. I fall where I'm standing and have no intention of getting back up until Spencer comes back.