Disclaimer: I am not the owner of The Walking Dead, no matter how awesome that would be for me. No copyright intended.

Warning: This is rated M for language, gore, and eventual smut.

"Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away."

—Philip K. Dick

Just A Child

Jenna looked up from where she sat in the grass, leaning against the log they'd moved there as a bench seat in the camp center, to see Lori exit the Grimes' tent, still seeming to be shaking off the clutches of sleep. It was close to noon, and she was the last to wake, which was a bit unusual for her, but Jenna assumed she must've needed it, with all the stress she was under with Carl. She returned her attention to sewing the button back on Glenn's shirt, tying off the knot. He'd noticed the button was hanging off by a thread early that morning, and she'd offered to repair it. Her grandmother had taught her how many years ago.

"Mornin, guys," greeted Rick as he walked through camp, county map in hand and Shane and Daryl following after him. "Let's get goin, we got a lotta ground to cover."

Shane met Jenna's eyes and inclined his head, beckoning her to follow. She nodded and pocketed the remaining thread and needle before handing over Glenn's shirt to him on her way. Once again, they gathered around the hood of the Cherokee, spreading out the terrain map.

"Gon' need this," said Daryl, handing Jenna her machete she'd left at the side of her tent as he came to stand beside her.

She nodded her thanks and secured the blade to her belt as Andrea and T-Dog approached along with Jimmy.

"Alright, everyone's gettin new search grids today," Rick told them.

"I'd like to help," said Jimmy, hands in the pockets of his jeans. At Rick's inquiring expression, he explained, "I know the area pretty well, an' stuff…"

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick asked.

Jimmy nodded immediately. "Yeah, he said I should ask you."

"Alright then," Rick conceded. "Thanks." He leaned over the map, studying it closely, and then placed his finger to the north edge of the map. "What's up that way—up the creek bed?" he asked the boy.

"Housing development," the boy replied. "Went in maybe…ten years ago."

Rick looked over at Shane at his right. "I'll search this grid here with Glenn," he said, pointing at the map, "T and Andrea, this grid's yours. Shane, you think you could head up that way, check out the housing development?" Shane nodded in agreement. "Take back-up," Rick advised. "We don't know what's out there."

Shane nodded again, and then looked up at Jenna from across the hood of the car. "You in?"

"Mhm," she agreed, nodding.

"You feel well enough?" Rick asked, concern in his tone.

Again, Jenna nodded. She felt much better than she had yesterday, and as long as she ate something before heading out, she knew she'd be just fine. Her body had recovered, thankfully. Now she could actually be useful.

"I'ma head up this branch of the creek right here," said Daryl, pointing. "If she followed the creek, she mighta gone that way, an' we missed that branch before."

"Good idea," said T-Dog, a hint of sarcasm in his tone that Jenna didn't understand. "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra out there too," he quipped, accepting the Glock from Dale, who'd just arrived with the gun bag.

Jenna frowned, completely puzzled, and looked up at Daryl quizzically.

"Chupacabra?" Rick asked, a definite note of amusement in his voice as he leveled his gaze at Daryl as well.

"What, you never heard this?" Dale asked, passing Jenna her Beretta and two filled magazines. "The first night at camp, Daryl tells everyone that the whole thing reminds him of a time when he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra."

Jimmy chortled, which was a very unwise decision, in Jenna's opinion.

"What'cha brayin at, jackass?" Daryl asked the boy, leveling his gaze directly at him—no trace of a smile to be found on his face.

Jenna bit her lip to keep herself from smirking too noticeably, ducking her head as she loaded a magazine into her gun and stowed the other into the pocket of her jeans. She tucked the Beretta into the back of her belt and leaned forward against the car, hoping Jimmy had enough sense in his head not to poke the bear. The smirk on his face gave Jenna the suspicion that her hope was in vain, however.

"So, you believe in a blood-suckin dog?" the gangly teen asked, still amused.

Daryl shrugged. "You believe dead people walkin around?"

That seemed to shut the kid up, and Dale proceeded with passing out firearms to the others—save for Andrea, who looked thoroughly pissed off about this fact.

"Hey, hey," said Rick, taking the rifle from Jimmy's grasping hand. "You ever fire one before?"

"Well, if I'm goin out, I want one," the boy defended.

Daryl spat a short breath of laughter, slinging his Horton over his shoulder. "An' people in hell want slurpies," he said sardonically.

Jenna couldn't help it and chuckled lightly through her nose, and caught Daryl's smirk as he clapped her on the shoulder before heading off for his own search mission. She hoped he didn't get hurt out there on his own.

Shane recovered from his own amusement faster than she did, and looked over at Jimmy with a neutral expression. "Tell ya what," he said to the kid, "when we set up for gun practice, you should come along. Might be worth your while."

The kid nodded, mollified, and headed off in the direction of the house, presumably to get ready to leave.

"For now he can come with us," said Andrea, shooting Jenna a scathing look, to which she merely responded with the raise of an eyebrow.

If she wanted to start something, she'd have to try a little harder than that. The dislike that Jenna had only guessed at before had grown much more obvious since yesterday. Perhaps Jenna's little lecture really pissed the older woman off. She couldn't imagine another reason Andrea would be shooting dirty looks in her direction so often, but decided to ignore them. If she had a problem, then she could confront Jenna directly.

"He's yours to babysit, then," Shane muttered, grabbing his own Glock and two magazines.

Jenna clapped Dale on the shoulder lightly in thanks as she moved away from the Cherokee, heading to the picnic table and grabbing a peach on the way, making quick work of it. She grabbed her leather jacket from her tent as well, just in case.

"I'll keep an eye on Thao for you, while you're gone," said Carol, intercepting her before she reached the table.

Jenna blinked, stunned slightly. "Are you sure?" she asked. "I mean, I was gonna ask Dusty. You really don't have to, Carol."

The woman gave her a kind, gentle smile. "It's the least I can do, while you're out there lookin for my little girl."

Jenna nodded, smiling slightly. "Thank you," she said sincerely.

"No trouble," said Carol, before heading over to help Lori with hanging laundry on the clothesline near the RV.

Jenna made her way to the picnic table then, taking a seat beside Thao, leaning her back against the side of the table and peering down at the pages of his comic book, recognizing the place in the storyline immediately.

"What's Fone Bone doing?" she asked him, though she knew the answer already.

"He's playing with the possum kids in the snow so Miss Possum can go to get some food," he said informatively. "She doesn't think he really saw the red dragon."

"Oh yeah?" she said. "Well, we know better, don't we?" He nodded, and she smirked, ruffling his hair. "Hey, buddy, listen for a minute, okay?" He turned his attention to her immediately, turning to face her. "Shane and I are gonna go out for a while to look for Sophia. Carol's gonna be keeping an eye on you while I'm gone. So you be good and do as she says, alright? Stay where she can see you, always."

He nodded. "I promise," he assured her. "When will you come back?"

"I'm not sure," she said honestly. "But we won't be gone for too long. And we will come back—I promise."

"I know," he said, and wrapped his arms around her. "You always come back, mama."

She smiled slightly and held him tightly for a moment, kissing his hair, before releasing him. "Read up," she urged, nodding at the comic book. "When we get back, you can tell me all about what happens with Fone Bone."

He smiled back, seeming to like that idea, and nodded. Shane approached the table then, and Jenna knew it must've been time for them to head out.

"Don't worry, bud," he said to Thao. "I'll bring your mama back safe."

Thao nodded. "Good," he said simply, and returned to his comic.

Jenna bit down on her lip again, stifling her laugh, and stood up as Shane ruffled the boy's hair, a look of amusement on his own face, before they headed off toward the Hyundai as Carol went to sit with Thao.

"He told you," said Jenna when they were out of earshot.

Shane laughed lightly. "Yeah, I know. Now I'm actually kinda worried."

She laughed then and slid into the passenger seat while he took the driver's seat, and pulled her jacket on as he turned the car around quickly, heading away from the house. She rolled down the window and let her arm hang out lazily, feeling the dry, hot air move through her fingers.

"What's with the jacket?" he asked. "It's gotta be eighty degrees today."

She shrugged. "Housing developments mean people," she explained. "Places were people used to live tend to mean a large amount of walkers."

"So the jacket...?" he asked, both amused and puzzled.

She smirked slightly, and moved her hair away from her left shoulder, turning her arm so he could see the bite mark on the shoulder of the jacket; evidence of a very, very close call. His eyes widened as the realization set in, and he looked up at her in absolute bewilderment.

"You were bit?" he asked.

She nodded, looking down at the mark. "Didn't go through the leather," she said—obviously. "Left one hell of a bruise, though," she muttered, leaning back into her seat again, looking out the window. She glanced over at him, seeing him shake his head slightly as he gazed at the road ahead of them. "Wondering how in the hell I could be dumb enough to let one get so close?" she asked wryly.

He let out a mirthless breath of laughter and shook his head. "Naw, jus'…wonderin if there's anythin you haven't had to go through yet," he admitted.

She considered that, trying not to remember. The fact that someone knew the dark, gory details of her recent past was still a tad unsettling to her, whether she trusted Shane or not.

"Not really," she answered in a quiet, flat tone, looking back out the window.

It was silent for a while between them as the car cruised along the old road, the farmland eventually giving way to thickly condensed trees bordering either side. Occasionally, Shane would glance down and study the map that rested on his lap, turning it slightly to get a better view. The fourth time he'd done this, Jenna had to smirk.

"I could take the map, you know," she said, amusement evident in her tone. "I may not have a Y-chromosome, but I promise not to get us lost."

He rolled his eyes and handed the map to her, struggling not to smirk, she could tell.

Jenna loaded a round in the chamber of her gun as the Hyundai rolled to a slow stop in the entrance of a cul-de-sac. This had no doubt been a nice place to live, once upon a time. Now there were a handful of abandoned cars littering the area along with the various other forms of debris. The lawns were overgrown, and everything was so still and quiet, it was almost eerie.

Despite how calm everything seemed, Jenna kept her guard up as she exited the car and closed the door quietly behind her. There was no telling what they'd encounter out here.

Shane brought the binoculars up to his eyes, scoping out the area for a moment before jerking his head to the left, motioning for her to follow him. She nodded and moved around the car to catch up with him, taking note of his gait as he moved beside her. His ankle seemed to have mostly healed, for he only walked with a very slight limp. She just hoped they didn't end up having to run or climb—it wouldn't do well to push his luck.

"We're gonna have to go house to house," he said in a low voice, his eyes scanning around as they walked. "Start at the far end, work our way back."

Jenna nodded in agreement as she too looked around, on her guard. The place was vacant—on the outside, anyway. They could only guess at what they'd find behind closed doors. She didn't want to admit it, but she highly doubted that Sophia had managed to make it all the way here. Still, it couldn't hurt to take a look around, right?

It didn't take long, however, for Jenna to realize that they were just wasting time following a false lead. As they searched through houses, finding abandoned belongings, remnants of suicide, piles of walker bodies, and just about anything and everything in between, they found absolutely no sign of Sophia. There was no reason to believe she'd ever even been in the cul-de-sac in the first place.

But, there were only a couple houses left to search, and they were already there. So they might as well complete the job.

Shane used his good leg to kick the door in, and Jenna followed him into the house, both of them with their guns raised. Broken glass crunched under their feet as they moved forward, and Jenna looked around, taking it all in. Furniture had been piled up in front of the stairs, presumably to prevent anything from being able to venture up to the second story.

She nodded at the stairway, and Shane nodded back before pulling the furniture out of the way and climbing the stairs cautiously, gun held out and at the ready. Jenna moved after him, keeping her gaze upward so nothing would be able to attack her from above; she couldn't shake the image of a walker lunging over the banister at them. It was a possibility, after all.

Shane looked up and down the hallway when they'd reached the landing, and silently gestured for her to take one end while he checked out the other. She gave him a brief nod, and they both made their way down the hallway, going in opposite directions.

Always listening for anything from Shane's end, Jenna carefully opened the door of the first room she came to, finding nothing but a small bathroom with shampoo bottles, soap bars, and other toiletries scattered all over the white tile floor. The next room she came to seemed to be a guest room, which was also vacant, as was the walk-in closet. She hesitated a moment when she came to the last door, which had the name Emily painted on the white surface in pastel pink letters. She really didn't want to, but she had to check.

Inside, she found nothing but what a little girl's room ought to contain; a pink bed set with various plushy stuffed animals and dolls scattered around the place, with dress-up jewelry and a purple feather boa hanging from the mirror at the left.

Jenna sighed slightly and closed the door again as she stepped back out into the hallway. She didn't want to think about what might've become of that little girl too.

She looked up at Shane, who had apparently completed his search as well, and shook her head, telling him she'd found nothing. He returned the gesture, and then led the way back downstairs to the main floor, both of them still silent and on high-alert. She really didn't like how dead quiet the place was; every footstep sounded too loud to her, every breath, every shift of her weight. It had been a while since she'd been out scouting like this. She'd grown accustomed to the group setting, and the freedom of the farm. Things had taken a one-eighty, and now she felt off-balance out on her own like this.

Well, not completely alone. She was glad it was Shane she was with. Someone who was trained, able to make quick decisions, and more than capable of defending themselves. She couldn't imagine being out here with someone like Andrea, or Lori, or Carol. With trigger-happy Andrea, fretful Carol, and irrationally panic-prone Lori, Jenna could only assume they would've been walker bait out here.

Stepping into the kitchen, Jenna frowned at what she saw. Drywall had been put up in what had obviously been another doorway at the end of the kitchen, and a ragged hole near the floor told her these efforts had been in vain. It looked like some large animal had chewed its way through, but the smeared bloody hand prints around the edges of the hole told a different story.

"They walled off the hallway…" Jenna said under her breath, bemused, as she ran her hand over the new wall, testing its durability. It wasn't very sturdy.

"Tried to make a stand here," Shane explained, leaning down to get a glimpse through the opening.

Jenna watched closely while he maneuvered his way through, bits of drywall crumbling around him, and when he gave the all-clear from the other side, she followed after him. The hallway led to one door at the end, and after opening the door carefully, they found themselves met with another set of stairs, this time leading to what looked like a garage. Shane kicked away the stacked up furniture that blocked the end of the stairway, and Jenna put her forearm over her nose to block out the smell she was suddenly assaulted by.

The garage was filled with a large pile of burned bodies. She didn't count how many there were, and she avoided looking at them with any detail—she didn't want to know if one of them was a child. Instead, she looked over at the garage door, seeing that it was partially opened, and she wondered briefly if someone had made an escape from the house when things went south.

One thing was very clear; Sophia had never been here. Jenna pulled her fingers though her hair, letting out a frustrated sigh. She really wasn't looking forward to returning to the farm and confronting Carol with empty hands.

The sound of shuffling footsteps and raspy snarling made them both snap their heads up to look at the garage door again. Shane lowered down to peer through the opening quickly, and he was standing straight and pulling Jenna backward in the next instant.

"C'mon, girl, we gotta go," he said intently as they rushed back to the stairway.

They rushed through the house, no longer cautious or taking care to stay quiet. Speeding out through the front door, they both skidded to a halt when they saw the swarm of walkers heading in their direction. Fuck! Where the hell had they come from?

"I'll cover that street," said Shane calmly, nodding at the bunch of walkers directly ahead of them.

"I'll clear the car," Jenna said, finishing for him.

She moved toward the car and shot down the first two that were closest, and then tucked her Beretta into her belt. There was only a handful left around the car, and they were decently spaced apart. This was more of a job for a machete.

She released her trusted blade and approached the car, weaving around the vehicle to give her some time to keep the other two away from her while she dealt with the first one she came to. It was put down easily, and the sound of gunfire from Shane's Glock told her that he was still doing just fine—so she didn't chance a look back in his direction to check on him, though she felt strangely compelled to.

He's fine, focus, she commanded herself as she moved around the back of the car. The two walkers stumbled into each other as they turned to follow her movements, nearly knocking each other off their feet in the process. She took down the one closest to her and strode backward quickly to avoid the grasping hands of the next.

"Jenna, what the hell you doin?" Shane demanded from where he stood, still clearing the rest of the street.

She took down the walker when it made to grab her again, and yanked the machete from its skull. "Don't worry about me, worry about you!" she yelled back, pointing her machete at the handful of walkers that were making their slow progression toward his turned back, still a safe distance away.

Turning around at the sound of more snarling, she moved toward another walker that was approaching and made quick work of it.

"C'mon—let's go!" Shane ordered as he sped over to the car, having cleared most of the street.

Not about to argue, Jenna yanked the door open and slipped into the passenger seat as Shane planted himself in the driver's seat. Not waiting a moment longer, he threw the car in drive and swung it back around, speeding away from the cul-de-sac before the remaining walkers could surround the Hyundai.

She looked back through the window and watched the stumbling figures shrink in the distance as they drove away, and sighed heavily, resting her head back against the seat. All of that effort, and still, no sign of Sophia.

"You must have some kinda death wish or somethin, girl," said Shane, his breathing a bit labored. "The hell did you think you were doin back there?"

"Not wasting bullets," Jenna replied flatly, settling her bloodied machete down on the floor at her feet. "That's what I was doing."

"You gotta be kiddin me—"

"I wasn't exaggerating yesterday when I told Andrea I've killed more of them with that than I have with any gun I've used," she said, indicating the blade between her feet. "I can handle myself just fine, Shane. Don't risk a bullet unless you have to—that's the way I do things. And that's not being stubborn, that's being smart. There's a reason I didn't die between here and Washington."

He glared at her for a moment, wanting to argue further, but apparently not finding anything to say. She glared back at him, waiting to see if he did come up with anything. She knew how to take care of herself, and she didn't need a lecture from him.

"You scared the hell outta me," he said eventually, his tone more subdued as he stared out the windshield. It sounded like a confession, but she could've been wrong.

She leaned back in her seat, trying to relax and forget about the day's ordeals. "Yeah, well…consider it payback. For scaring the hell outta me at the CDC."

She shifted her eyes over to him to see him giving her a sardonic glare, but she could also see the smirk he was trying to cover up. Satisfied, she settled back into her seat and closed her eyes while they cruised down the empty road.

"You ever gonna stop bein a smartass?" he asked after a minute or two.

"Don't count on it," she muttered, and was glad when she heard him chuckle under his breath. At least he wasn't angry anymore. "Ever gonna stop being a hothead?" she countered.

He snorted slightly, and she didn't have to look to guess that he was rolling his eyes. "Don't count on it."

She laughed quietly, and moved her head around slowly, cracking her neck. With that loosened up, she leaned back into the seat again, trying to get comfortable. It hadn't been a very close call at all, but she still felt a bit on edge. Perhaps it was just the knowledge that they still had no idea where Sophia was, despite their best efforts.

"I'm really not lookin forward to tellin Carol all we found was another dead-end," Shane muttered in a defeated voice, apparently thinking along the same lines.

"Maybe Daryl had more luck than we did," she replied, forcing herself to remain hopeful.

He sighed heavily, and her eyes opened then as she turned her head to give him a quizzical expression. At her inquiring gaze, he shifted in his seat a little uncomfortably, and she narrowed her eyes, even more puzzled.

"Look…I…I'm gonna be perfectly honest with ya, Jenna," he began in that same defeated voice. "I owe ya that." He paused, and then seemed to force himself to continue. "I wish people would stop doin that—bein hopeful, I mean. If we find Sophia…chances are—"

"What, you think we should give up?" she asked, stunned. "Just cut our losses and move on?"

He shook his head. "Naw, that's not what I'm sayin, girl," he said quickly. "I think we need to know, one way or another. All I'm sayin is you can't get your hopes up like that. No one should be gettin their hopes up, Carol least of all. Sophia…she's been out there missin for four days now. I hate to say it, I really do, but chances are, if we find her…it's gonna be too late. I think ya know that."

He held her gaze for a long moment, and she was unable to argue with him there—and he knew that. Because reality was not on that little girl's side anymore, and they couldn't just ignore reality. Sophia was just a child. They couldn't expect her to hold out forever.

"All I'm sayin is, you need to get yourself ready for that," Shane continued, his voice a little quieter then. "If you don't, it'll kill ya."

Jenna let out a long breath, pulling her hand through her wild hair again. "I know," she said in a small voice, staring out the passenger window. "I just don't wanna admit that, because then I feel like…like I'm just giving up. Turning my back on that little girl, you know?"

"Yeah…yeah, I know," said Shane. "Nothin 'bout livin in this word's easy anymore, girl."

"No, it isn't," she agreed.

Note:

For some reason, writing this chapter was an uphill battle for me, so I'm sorry if it's not that great. But, I'm just glad that I got it done finally. As ever, thanks so much for reviewing, following, and favoriting this story! It seriously means so much to me!

PS: I now have a few character photos uploaded on my profile page for this story, if you're interested.