Yuri and Mila had been walking along the brightly lit shops for almost two hours. It was night, and the cool, early summer air had already grown chilly now that the sun had set. A strange silence had been growing between that only intensified as the night went on. Yuri wasn't sure what to make of it. It had been her idea to get out and go shopping, but now that they were there, nothing seemed to catch her eye. Her usual squeals of delight at seeing something new and shiny in the store windows had been replaced by indifferent shrugs and sullen nods of her head. He'd never seen Mila like this, and the eerie silence between them was starting to worry him. Mila was never at a loss for words.

They stopped in front of one of Mila's favorite stores. It was full of brightly colored clothing while dozens of sleek boots gleamed under spotlights in the front window. Yuri waited for her to tug him inside, but she stopped and stared at the boots hardly acknowledging their existence.

"Mila do-"

"How did you do it Yuri?" She muttered quietly.

Yuri's brow furrowed, having no clue what she was talking about. He racked his brain trying to figure out what it was he'd done. Nothing came to mind. They'd hardly seen each other in the last couple of weeks except for at the rink. He'd invited her out a number of times, but she had turned him down repeatedly, giving him no other excuse other than, "I don't feel like going out tonight, sorry." Just when he was starting to feel genuinely hurt over it, she'd called him and asked him out on their current impromptu shopping trip.

"How did I do what?" Yuri asked, moving closer to her.

Her eyes roamed over a pair of burgundy ankle boots, their silver buckles flashed and twinkled in the light, while her fingers traced across the glass.

"How did you manage with Otabek being so far away in the beginning?" She said mournfully.

Ohhh. Yuri was suddenly aware of the problem.

Mila and Otabek's cousin Sasha had gotten closer after the wedding. They had visited one another a few times, and it was clear that their relationship had been steadily growing more serious. Mila had been all smiles and kept her phone close to her at all times, not wanting to miss a single text or call from Sasha. Meanwhile, Otabek had been heard more and more from his quiet cousin. He'd even stayed at their home the few times he'd come to visit, although he spent most of his nights at Mila's, both to Yuri and Otabek's (and Mila's) delight.

Having Sasha stay with them had been a little jarring for Yuri at first. He was so similar to Otabek that to Yuri, it almost felt like living with two Otabek's. As time went on though, Yuri began to catch on to their little differences. Otabek oddly enough was more outgoing, he was sarcastic and like to tease. Maybe living with Yuri for so long had rubbed off on him. Sasha was funny, but sarcasm was not in his repertoire. Anytime Otabek said something even slightly sarcastic Sasha took it at face value. He was a gentle soul, far more sensitive than his cousin. Sasha liked to draw in his spare time, while Otabek could barely draw a straight line without fucking it up. He loved photography too and spent time snapping pictures and sketching different landmarks when he wasn't with Mila.

He and Otabek both had a passion for music, and he enjoyed helping Otabek mix music when he could. The two were like a matched set when sat next to one another. They made the same quizzical faces, and their voices had the same deep timber. Otabek was a little taller than his cousin and had a stronger more muscular body out of the two, but Sasha was no weakling. He liked to run, bike and enjoyed going to the gym with Otabek when he was in town. Both men had the same straight black eyebrows, and while Otabek's eyes were dark brown, Sasha's were a lighter almost rusty color.

No one could ever say the two weren't related. Yuri least of all. He couldn't count how many times he'd almost come up to embrace Otabek from behind, only to rear back once he saw the thick knot of black hair tied up at the back of Sasha's head. Now that Otabek's hair was longer, it was even harder to tell who was who from behind. Yuri had learned early on to look before touching. Otabek would never let him live it down if he groped the wrong Altin by mistake (and he was pretty sure shy, quiet Sasha would literally die of embarrassment).

Sasha had been good for Mila. After years of casual flings and a string of abrasive hockey players; Sasha's calm and sweet demeanor had softened her. But now, it seemed like the distance was getting to be too much for her.

Yuri fidgeted in place, "I dunno Mila, I guess if you want something bad enough you make it work."

Mila leaned her forehead against the glass, "I want to make it work. He's sweet, and kind, and thoughtful. When he's here, I feel like I'm the happiest I've ever been, but…" She trailed off and pushed her self away from the glass, sniffling a bit.

"But?" Yuri said, silently hoping it wouldn't end in a, 'but it's not enough'.

She wiped a tear from her mascara laden eyes, "When he's gone, I miss him so damn much." She broke down a little, and let out a soft broken sob.

Yuri put his arm around her shoulder and drew her in. He'd only meant it to be a friendly side hug, but apparently that wasn't enough contact for Mila. She latched onto him, wrapping her arms around his slim hips and buried her face against him. Yuri wasn't used to Mila being so needy and was thrown by the sudden embrace. But once he felt her shuddered sob against his neck, he couldn't help but wrap his arms around her.

He brushed her curly mop from her face. "I know it sucks Mila, believe me I know what you're feeling. It feels like when you're together, everything is brighter and when you're not, the whole world may as well be black and white."

Mila held him tighter. That was it. That was exactly how it felt. The world may as well be colored in varying shades of gray when Sasha wasn't near. It helped that Yuri could commiserate, but the helpless feeling in her gut only worsened now that she had an appropriate analogy to describe her feelings.

"Fuck, when does this feeling go away?" She said quietly, her breath hitching.

Yuri brushed a loose curl from her forehead. It pained him to tell her the truth. That the feeling never really went away. He and Otabek had spent years apart from each other, whether it was the first parting or the tenth, it had still left a raw, ragged feeling in his chest every time. He remembered all the long plane rides home, waking up in bed only to reach out and find nothing but cold, empty space next to him. Seeing and hearing funny things and having to wait until the time was right to call and tell Otabek about it. The days he spent pretending he was fine and the lonely nights where he tossed and turned. He wouldn't wish those feelings on his worst enemy, let alone his best friend.

"I'm not gonna lie Mila, it doesn't get better. It just gets...tolerable. You learn to enjoy the moments you have together and then hold onto them until the next time you see them."

Mila slumped against him. His words had done nothing to assuage her sadness. "It wouldn't be so bad if I knew he felt the same, but he so damn quiet sometimes I don't know what he's thinking."

Yuri let go of a quiet chuckle. "That's an Altin for you. Otabek was the same way. I was always a stupid, clingy wreck when it was time to go home, but he just did the whole 'stoic Beka' thing. It drove me crazy. For awhile, I didn't think it hurt him as much to leave and then I started picking up on little things."

"Little things?" Mila looked up at him, her blue eyes glassy.

"Like when we Skyped, I noticed how tired he looked right after I left. Sometimes when I'd find myself rambling on about my day; I'd catch him just staring at me through the screen like...I dunno, like he was trying to memorize what I looked like. He'd never say anything outright in the beginning, but I could tell he was missing me as much as I was him. Eventually he got better about saying what he felt, it helped, it helped us both."

Mila gave him a weak smile, "I never thought about it before, but there are times when we talk on the phone, where he just goes silent and lets out this tired sounding exhale. I always took it as him being bored with the conversation, or that he was frustrated with work or something. I never thought...that it was just him missing me."

"Sounds like it to me. Would it help if I poked around a bit, see if I can get anything out of Beka? Those two have been talking a lot lately."

She straightened, and wiped a few wayward tears from her face. "At the risk of sounding like a love sick teenager, I'd like that. Just, don't make it obvious. I'd hate for Sasha to think I do nothing but mope around when he's gone."

They started to walk again, a light drizzle had started, "But you do mope around Baba, I've seen you. Don't think I haven't notice the way your face lights up when he texts you. At least I'm nice about it and leave you be. Remember all the shit you and Victor used to give me?"

Mila slapped a hand over her mouth, "Holy shit, Yuri! We did, didn't we? I am so sorry! That must have made everything ten times worse! Jesus, I was a shit friend to you."

Yuri tugged her along towards their favorite coffee shop, "Nah don't sweat it. I hated it, but at least getting angry with you helped me forget how much I missed Beka. Plus, it gave me something to talk about when he called. Half the time I think Beka got a kick out of it. He said I was cute when I was angry."

They settled into a booth at the coffee shop. Yuri ordered them both hot chocolate and pastries.

"I find sugar helps." Yuri offered, biting into a chocolate drizzled croissant.

Mila blew on her hot chocolate before taking a sip, she reached for a sugar cookie and dipped it into her cup letting it soak up the drink. "Sugar always helps."

They sat in silence for a while, just watching the traffic stop and start outside. This time the silence between them wasn't so bad.

"I think I'm in love with him." Mila said finally, looking down into her cup.

Yuri raised a single golden eyebrow in shock. Mila had never uttered those words about a man before, not seriously. She'd say she loved their eyes, or their smile, or their ass, but never them as an entire person. This was new territory for her. Yuri couldn't help but grin.

"Really? When did you figure it out?"

Mila nodded. "Weeks ago, the last time he was here. It was morning and he'd spent the night. I was drinking tea and he was making breakfast for us and I just thought, how nice it would be if it could stay like that. Him being there and never leaving. I've never had that feeling with anyone before. You know me, the minute I'm done with a guy I want him gone, but with him...it's different. I like him being there. I like that he has a drawer at my house, I like that I still have the terrible beer he drinks taking up space in my fridge, even though I know I'll never drink it. I don't even mind that he snores and talks in his sleep. Now I can't seem to go to sleep without hearing it."

Yuri ran a hand through his hair and laughed, "Jesus, you wouldn't say that if you had to sleep with him and Beka under one roof. It just make me want to smother them both."

It was the first genuine laugh Yuri had gotten out of Mila that night. "You say that now, but I bet a few years ago you would have killed to hear Otabek snoring next to you."

Yuri gave her s sheepish grin, "Maybe not the snoring, but I missed other things."

Mila gave his foot a little kick under the table, "Like what? Come on, I can't be the only idiot spilling my guts here. What did you miss?"

Yuri thought about it, there were so many things he could pick from. Otabek's laugh, the funny way he stuck his tongue out when he was concentrating hard on something. The little smirk he made when he teased him. The way Otabek steered him through a crowd with his hand on the small of his back. Now he barely noticed all those little gestures that used to leave him warm and tingly. There was one thing though that was always near and dear to him.

"I missed the way he hummed." He said as he absently swirled the whip cream it into his drink. "He was always humming something. I don't think he even knew he was doing it half the time. He hummed while he worked on his bike, or while he cooked. It was nice, I missed hearing it when he wasn't there."

Mila have him a smile, "Yuri, you sentimental dope, that's so sweet."

Yuri shrugged and sipped his cocoa. "So have you told Sasha yet?"

Mila went wide eyed, "Oh god, of course not!"

"Why not? It's not exactly something you keep to yourself."

"Because...what if he doesn't feel the same way? What if I tell him and everything goes to shit? I can't put something like that out there and then have it thrown back in my face. I've never told anyone I loved them before. Besides," she grabbed another cookie off the plate, "it never felt like the right moment."

Yuri nodded, "I get it. I felt the same way. How do you bring up the fact that you love someone, when you know in a few days you have to leave them behind. It's not something you can just blurt out over the phone either."

"No, it's definitely not. I dunno, I guess I'm just scared is all." Mila bit into her cookie.

Yuri remembered the first time he'd told Otabek he loved him. It took him almost a year to come to grips with it, and another month before he'd gotten the courage to say it outloud to his face. When he did, Otabek had just stood there silently staring at him. Yuri was sure he had fucked everything up, and was ready to run and hide from the embarrassment. Then he saw a smile grow on Otabek's lips as he uttered a simple, "took you long enough" and pulled him into a kiss. It still left Yuri with a warm feeling in the pit of his stomach to this day.

"You should tell him, Mila. Even if he doesn't reciprocate, which I don't think will be a problem, at least you told him how you feel."

Mila brightened, "you don't think he'll laugh in my face?"

Yuri shook his head, "No Mila, I don't think he'd do that. Something tells me he might feel the same way, but he's just as scared as you are. Sasha doesn't have a good track record when it comes to relationships. He's a great guy, but he's shy. The few girls he's been with left him for more outgoing guys."

Mila bristled at that, "Well it's their loss. I can't imagine anyone not wanting him!"

Yep, she's in love alright. Yuri thought.

"I can't either, but people said the same about Beka. He's is the more outgoing of the two, but he had the same problem. Most people thought he just wasn't all that interested in them, or got upset when he didn't jump into bed with them right off the bat. In reality, he's just a quiet guy, who likes to go at his own pace. I let him take the lead a lot of the time in the beginning. Partly because I didn't have a clue what I was doing, and partly because it put him more at ease."

Mila nodded, and finished the last of her drink. "I think I will tell him, next time he comes to visit. Maybe it will backfire, maybe it won't, but I won't know until I say it, right?"

"I don't think you have anything to worry about Mila. No one gets on a plane for five hours to see someone they don't care about. I promise you, if he doesn't feel the same way you do; you can bench press me in the middle of the rink while the whole team is there. I'll even let people take video."

Mila gave him a devious grin, "If he says it back to me, can I do that anyway as a way to celebrate?"

"No."

Mila pouted, "You're no fun," she checked the time on her phone, "I guess I oughta head out, Sasha will be getting home from work soon he usually calls around ten."

"Shit, I don't miss that time difference." Yuri stood and collected their trash, depositing it in the trash. "Guess I'll go home and do some covert info grabbing for you. Beka should be done studying by now."

Yuri pulled her into a hug, and laid a kiss on her forehead. "You call me if you're feeling down, alright? I'm glad you hung out with me tonight. I was starting to think you found a new best friend."

Mila gave him a squeeze, "Nah, no one else will put up with my shit like you."

"Not even Sasha?"

Mila laughed, Okay yeah, maybe him too. I'll call you tomorrow."

"You better."

Yuri hung up his coat by the door and kicked his shoes off. Otabek's books and papers were all neatly stacked on the kitchen table.

"Beka? I'm home." Yuri called.

Otabek stepped out of his room, cellphone nestled between his ear and shoulder, he gave him a quick kiss before going back to his conversation. Yuri rummaged through the kitchen, absently picking up different parts of Otabek's phone call.

"I don't know…I've never asked….how am I supposed to know? Maybe I'll ask Yura."

Yuri made himself a snack and leaned against the counter. He watched as Otabek rolled his eyes at the conversation. "Why are you talking to me about it when you should be telling her?" There was a pause, "Okay...okay...I'll talk to you later. Bye." Otabek let out an exhausted sigh.

"Let me guess. Sasha?" Yuri said, mouth full of food.

"Oh my god, he's killing me! I just spent the last hour listening to him talk about Mila. He just went on and on. How did I know that I loved you and how did I go about telling you? Sasha is awesome and all, but if he doesn't man up and tell Mila how he feels I'm gonna fly to Almaty and kick his ass."

"So, he loves her then?" Yuri said setting his dish in the sink.

"I guess so." Otabek said, utterly exasperated by the conversation.

"Well good. I basically had the same conversation with Mila. Although I think mine was worse, there was crying involved."

Otabek grimaced, "Okay you win. If Sasha had started crying I probably would have hung up on him. Seriously, those two need to just come out and say it and leave me out of it. One long distance relationship was enough for me." Otabek set his phone down on the counter. "So Mila feels the same way, huh?"

Yuri nodded, "Yep, she wanted me to grill you for information, but I guess I don't have to now." He went and wrapped his arms around Otabek's waist, "which is good cause I had other plans for us tonight."

"You're not gonna tell her that he loves her are you?"

"Fuck no, that's their problem! I'll just pretend you were super crabby and didn't want to talk about it."

Otabek chuckled, "That's not too far from the truth. Between studying and listening to Sasha moan about Mila I'm not in a very good mood."

"I bet I could change that." Yuri said pulling him into a kiss.

Otabek hummed, "I might be willing to let you try." Otabek dragged him into the bedroom, unzipping his jeans along the way.

An hour later they were both in bed, the sheets rumpled at the bottom of the mattress. Otabek's mood had definitely improved. Yuri laid sprawled on his back staring lazily at the ceiling while Otabek tapped away on his phone. Yuri smiled when he heard Otabek faintly humming to himself.

Yuri rolled onto his side to face him. "Put that away and turn the light off." He tugged at Otabek's waist. Otabek dutifully set his phone down and flicked the light off. Yuri pulled the blankets up over them and they settled on their sides, facing one another, their legs tangling together.

The laid in silence for awhile before Yuri spoke, "Mila sometimes thinks that Sasha doesn't miss her cause he so quiet."

"I can see that." Otabek replied.

"I told her about all the times you used to do that to me." Yuri said, a little hesitantly.

Otabek shifted, "I did?"

"Sometimes." Yuri gave a small shrug, "like when we were at the airport you'd get quiet. You never really kissed me goodbye or anything, just a hug and a 'be safe'."

Otabek pulled back a little. "You know I wasn't as comfortable back then with big dramatic goodbyes, especially in public. That doesn't mean I didn't miss you when you were gone."

"I know," Yuri settled against him, "I was young and upset about leaving and paranoid about stuff. It was all just stupid shit I made up in my head."

Otabek gave him a gentle squeeze. "You think too much, Yura."

Yuri laughed quietly. "I know. I'm just glad it all worked out in the end."

"Me too."

The next morning Otabek and Yuri were both rushing to get out the door. Yuri had spent fifteen minutes trying to find his favorite pair of sunglasses, while Otabek wolfed down a protein bar, and packed his books into his bag. They left the building together and stepped out onto the sidewalk. Yuri was about to turn and head to the rink when Otabek grabbed him and pulled him into a hard kiss. Yuri stiffened, taken aback by the sudden, passionate, gesture. Otabek ran his hand through Yuri's hair, cupping the back of his head while his other arm wrapped tightly around his waist, pulling him closer. Dozens of people sidestepped around them, rolling their eyes and muttering to themselves, but neither of them noticed. Just as Yuri's knees began to wobble, Otabek broke the kiss. Yuri stood there hazy eyed, mouth still parted slightly, lips wet.

Otabek gave him a sly smirk and a wink. "Bye, Yura. Be safe." before turning in the opposite direction to catch his bus.

Yuri couldn't help the shudder that ran through him. "Bye, Beka." He said quietly with a lazy smile.