"Half Blood Harry Potter"

By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Percy Jackson and all related demigods, with the exception of Loki Palmer, belong to Rick Riordan.

Archdruid89: Interesting advice, though I admit Google Translate tends to be a bit … literal … never a good thing in a translator. So many people act as if a dictionary is all you need to translate from one language into another … not so! There is grammar and syntax to consider as well …

Of course, the biggest question from most of y'all is, what ailment did Hermione hit Rita with? I thought the description of Rita's face would be enough, but … well, you asked, and I will answer …

Chapter 35

As Rita Skeeter came into the reception area of St. Mungo's with her injured photographer in tow, the receptionist said, "How may St. Mungo's be of service to you, Miss Skeeter?"

"Well, as you can see, my photographer has camera shrapnel in his face and my face feels scaly."

Upon seeing the scales that covered the reporter's face, the receptionist's face paled and she said over the intercom, "We need to move Miss Skeeter and her photographer to the isolation ward, stat!"

"Why?" said Rita as a team of mediwitches in bio-hazard suits came to move them. "Whatever is wrong?"

"We will explain to you once we have reached the isolation ward, Miss Skeeter," said one of the mediwitch team.

"Is it something bad? You wouldn't isolate us unless it was something bad, right?"

Oh, she has no idea, thought the mediwitch team, though it said nothing as it hustled the patients down the corridors …

~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~

The moment of truth had arrived as they reached the isolation ward. "Sit down, please, Miss Skeeter. I don't know how to break the news to you, but you have an infection of greyscale: a contagious disease akin to the Muggle disease of leprosy, it spreads across your skin and turns it into grey scales, hence the name. Over time, the infection will spread to your inner organs, turning you insane and ending in your death once it reaches your lungs and heart."

Rita paled. "Is there any known cure?"

"If a child catches the disease, there is some hope of a cure if the cure is prompt. Adults with the disease, however, have no such hope. Have you had any physical contact with anyone besides your photographer since the start of your infection?" Rita shook her head and the mediwitch breathed a sigh of relief. "I am sad to say it, but there is a high probability that the infection even spread to your photographer when you brought him here."

"Does this mean we must stay here – in this isolation wing – for the rest of our lives?"

"Yes, I am afraid so. Though we cannot cure you, we will do what we can to take care of you until the day you die, have no worries on that count. Would you like some lunch?"

Rita shook her head. "Sorry, but it seems I have lost my appetite."

"No worries. If you change your mind, just ring."

When the mediwitch left, the photographer grabbed Rita's throat. "Why did you have to insult Lady Potter like you did?!"

"I … was … upset … for … your sake …"

"And she punished you by striking you with a contagious disease that you spread to me! How do you think I should feel about that?!"

She struggled in his grip. "I'm … sorry …"

Tears leaked from his eyes as the struggle came to a slow end. "So am I …."

Some hours later, the mediwitch discovered both of their corpses. The photographer's corpse had blood coming out of his wrists and a broken mirror next to it …

~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~

Albus Dumbledore came into the tent with Barty Crouch. "Everyone here? Good. Miss Granger, Miss Chase, Lady Palmer … you three may go now."

"Good luck," the three ladies said to the demigods as they left.

"Barty, can you show us what the First Task will be?"

"Each one of you has a dragon to face, and your task will be a simple one: retrieve the golden egg out of the dragon's nest! Within the egg will be an important clue without which you cannot perform the Second Task. Now, will each one of you reach into this bag and pull out a model of your dragon. Ladies first …"

Fleur reached into the bag. "The Welsh Green," said Barty. "Mr. Krum?"

Viktor reached into the bag, and pulled out … "The Chinese Fireball, ooh! Mr. Diggory?"

Cedric reached into the bag, and pulled out … "The Swedish Short Snout. Lord Potter?"

Harry reached into the bag, and pulled out … "The Hungarian Horntail. Mr. Jackson?"

Percy reached into the bag, and pulled out … "The Hebridean Black. Lord Palmer?"

Loki reached into the bag, and pulled out … "Ooh, the Alaskan Frostbite. That will be a tough one, and it is a unique breed among these, since it breathes out a cold atmosphere, rather than fire like a traditional dragon."

~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~

Hermes grinned in the announcer's seat. "Now that we have seen how Fleur Delacour, Viktor Krum, and Cedric Diggory would face their respective dragons, witches and wizards … let us welcome … the Son of the Thunderer … LORD HARRY POTTER!"

As AC/DC's song "Thunderstruck" began, the Gryffindors began a chant of "THUNDER!"

Harry raised up his sword and the sky clouded over with a thunderhead.

"All right, you Hungarian Horntail bitch, let's give the people a show they will never forget!"

A number of lightning bolts struck near the dragon. She panicked and shot a fireball towards the two-legged who was causing her such fear.

He dodged it. "You will submit to me and let me retrieve that golden egg, you overgrown flamethrower, or suffer the consequences!"

Back in the tent, Percy looked at a grinning Loki. "Isn't that your line, Loki?"

"Dragons are proud by their nature, Percy. If you go toe to toe with a dragon, you have to show him – or her in this case – that you are the Master and you mean business … capisce?" He wiped a mock tear from his eye. "It makes me proud to see how my cousin is grown up ..."

"GODS HAVE MERCY, HARRY HAS CALLED UP A HAILSTORM! The Hungarian Horntail may be among the most vicious of dragons, but she picked the wrong demigod to piss off!"

When the hailstorm had passed, Harry had approached closer. "Had enough pain for today?"

Ow, my head, thought the dragon. Please, Master, no more pain, I beg you.

She let out a roar, but its tone of submission told Harry all he needed to know: she had acknowledged him as a Master and would allow him anything as long as he did not bring back the pain. Those anvil-sized hailstones hurt even a hard head like hers!

He grabbed the golden egg to cheers from the crowd, then he patted the dragon's head. "It's over now. Be at peace."

~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~

"Next up, let us welcome the Seaweed Brain, Percy Jackson!"

As "Drink Up Me Hearties" played [from the soundtrack of "Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End"], Percy swaggered out of the tent like a drunkard.

My thanks to Neville for teaching me a little bit of his 醉拳功夫 – Drunken Fist Kung Fu, he thought. I doubt whether I could hold my own against Nancy Bobofit or Clarisse, but at least I can give my enemy an element of surprise ...

The Hebridean Black cocked her head to the side. What kind of two-legged is this? she thought. An easy lunch, perhaps? She shot a burst of flame at him, but he summoned a wall of water to block it. Stunned that she couldn't roast him, she stopped the assault.

He had two flasks of liquid on him. He flicked the lid off of one and drank. "You know, facing you is thirsty work, am I right? The problem for you, mother dragon, is you should be careful with fire – or else you get burned!"

FOOLISH TWO-LEGGED RUNT! The dragon opened her maw to fire again, and Percy threw his second flask – this one of a dark liquid, perhaps rum – into a second moving wall of water, propelling it straight down her gullet. The resulting internal explosion produced an agonizing pain that meant she would breathe no more fire anytime soon.

Whether she died of her injury mattered not a thought of Captain Ahab's peg-legged carcass to Percy as he grabbed his golden egg and walked out of the arena. As the Muggle author Kurt Vonnegut Jr. said, So it goes.

~HALF BLOOD HARRY POTTER~

"Last but not least, let us welcome the Creepshow, Lord Loki Palmer!"

"ALL ABOARD!" Loki cackled along with the voice of Ozzy Osbourne as the song "Crazy Train" began. Darkness covered the arena, lightning crackled around the dragon, but before she could blink, Loki had sped forth and grabbed the golden egg! Angry about such a brazen invasion of her nest, she encased him in ice as he walked away!

"Wizards and witches, I can't believe My eyes! Loki got his golden egg, yet –"

An angry Loki burst out of his cage of ice. "Not so fast, Lord Hermes … this dragon is going down!"

Summoning a bolt of lightning to his hammer, he threw it into the dragon's mouth. The mixture of lightning with the dragon fire of her stomach exploded her entrails as the hammer came back to its Master.

He grinned at the speechless crowd. "What? Even a dragon must be careful what she eats, am I right?"

Crickets chirped. "Aw, screw the scores … I'm heading back to the castle ..."

Author's Note: Another fun chapter done! Read and review!

Smiles and laughter,

Loki Palmer