Draco found himself furiously wiping at tears that wouldn't stop falling. He'd been so stupid. All this time he had been warning Harry to watch his back and then... He shuddered at the memory of Nott's body pressed against his, of rough kisses forced upon his lips, of hot breath on his neck, of smiling cat-like eyes watching the whole thing play out. If Harry hadn't shown up when he did...he felt sick just thinking about what could have happened, what would have happened. How would he ever be able to look Harry in the eyes again?
Draco rubbed frantically at the spot on his neck where Nott had breathed on him, struggling with the memory of how terrified he'd been.
"Draco," Harry's tentative voice called out from just inside the window. His arrival had gone completely unnoticed.
"Go away," Draco growled, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed. He didn't want Harry to see him like this. He felt sick with shame.
Harry ignored his warning as he moved closer, wrapping his arms around Draco's trembling body. Draco pushed against him, struggling to break free, struggling against the memory of Nott and his overpowering presence. Harry didn't seem to understand; didn't seem to realize the effect he was having on him.
"I'm sorry," Harry sobbed, clinging desperately to him. "I'm sorry I wasn't faster. I'm sorry I couldn't get there sooner."
Draco stopped resisting, eyes wide as the realization hit him. Draco finally understood why Harry had reacted so violently before. He thought of those scorching emerald eyes when he appeared in the classroom as deadly as a lightning strike, the look of abject terror that had played out on Pansy's face, the way Nott's agonized screams echoed all around him as Harry towered over him. Remembering those things gave Draco strength, helped him to compose himself so that he could face the boy.
"You made it in time," he whispered into Harry's ear, mentally reminding himself of that fact as well.
Harry pulled back with a surprised gasp, studying Draco's face to see if he was lying.
"I made it in time?" Harry questioned in disbelief.
Draco nodded.
"Then why...?" he gestured at the angry red mark on Draco's neck.
Draco clapped his hand over it, glancing away in embarrassment and shame.
"I was an idiot," he admitted softly. "I messed up."
"But nobody is blaming you," Harry stated in confusion.
"I just need some time to sort out how I feel about this," Draco explained, pushing Harry further away.
"Oh," he whispered softly, suddenly looking very lost and vulnerable.
In response to the look on Harry's face, Draco's heart gave a little tug. He leaned forward, capturing Harry's lips with his own for the briefest of moments. He wasn't sure what had possessed him; maybe he wanted to burn away the memory of Nott's rough lips on his.
Harry's eyes went wide with shock. He pulled away, his fingers brushing gently across his lips as if testing that they were real.
"Sorry," Draco whispered, a little bit in shock himself at what he'd done.
Harry's eyes darkened, he grasped Draco's face with his rough hands, pulling his chin up so that he could press his warm lips against his. It was Draco's turn to be surprised and he found himself surrendering to Harry's needy kiss.
They pulled apart, breathless and amazed, losing themselves in each other's eyes.
"That was..." Draco began.
Harry shook his head, placing a finger gently on his lips to stop him from continuing. Draco understood what he meant. As long as they didn't put a name to it, there was no risk. Names were absolute - they came with expectations and pressure and heartache. If they could just exist – two warm bodies acting purely on instinct...
Without saying a thing, Harry crawled into the bed, pulling Draco into his arms in a warm embrace. With his back to his chest, he couldn't see Harry's face, couldn't guess at what the boy was thinking.
"Can we just stay like this for a while?" Harry whispered, his breath tickling the back of Draco's neck.
Draco nodded. What else was he supposed to do? Everything about this just felt so right. If Harry had asked it of him, he would have gladly stayed like this forever.
Just as his eyelids were growing heavy, he had a sudden flash of memory. He spun in Harry's arms so that he could face him, his eyes locked onto his.
"You were going to tell me about your 'remedial potion lessons' tonight," he reminded.
Harry grimaced, pulling away from Draco with an unhappy expression on his face. Draco was beginning to regret that he brought it up.
"I did promise," he stated hollowly, eyes staring off in the distance.
Draco snuggled back into his embrace, placing an arm across his chest to show him that he was not alone. It seemed to be exactly what Harry needed; he relaxed a little, turning to gaze at Draco with a thoughtful expression on his face.
"Professor Snape is teaching me Occlumency."
Draco's brow creased in confusion. While it was certainly strange that Severus would do that, he couldn't understand why that warranted such a feeling of foreboding.
"Why?" Draco questioned, fearing the answer.
Harry sighed, his eyes swirling with conflicting emotion.
"It's because of the connection between Voldemort and I," he muttered darkly. "There are times when we can enter each other's mind, feel each other's emotions, see what the other is seeing."
Draco's eyes widened in alarm. No wonder he had been so mistrustful of Harry for all these years. This boy could be channeling Voldemort at any moment and no one would even know about it. Seeing Draco's fearful expression, Harry tried to reassure him.
"I have it under control," he promised. "That's what those lessons are for."
Draco nodded, watching Harry bring a hand to rub the scar on his forehead in a self-conscious gesture.
"When Voldemort tried to kill me as a baby, he hadn't counted on the blood magic that my mother had used to protect me. The killing curse rebounded, mingling with her magic to forge a bond between us that protected us both from the spell."
His breathing started to quicken as he relived painful memories, a far away look on his face.
"Two years ago, Voldemort used that magical bond, used my mother's magic, to restore himself. He used it – my blood – to make himself invincible. So long as I am alive, he can't ever truly be killed."
That confession hit Draco like a bolt of lightning. He forgot how to breathe as he watched Harry, rubbing at his scar a little more vigorously as if the thoughts were causing him physical pain. Maybe they were. All those years that Draco had teased him about it, never imagining the burden he was carrying.
"Right now," Harry continued, pulling his hand away to look Draco in the eyes. "The Order is trying to find and capture Voldemort. He keeps staying two steps ahead of them, but when they do, when they finally catch him...then I...then they'll...," he trailed off, struggling to complete the sentence.
"What?" Draco exclaimed, outraged at what he was hearing. "They'll kill you? Is that Dumbledore's great big plan for defeating Voldemort?"
Harry nodded quickly, a guilty expression on his face. "That's what the prophecy says," he whispered.
Draco started shaking with fury. When Hermione had first mentioned the prophecy, he had eventually managed to convince himself that any prophecy of Trelawney's had to be utter rubbish. Hearing that people had made plans to act on it...
"I refuse to accept this," he stated, a determined look coming over his face. "There has to be another way."
Harry let out a bitter laugh, freezing Draco in place with mirthless eyes.
"The thing that bothers me the most about this whole situation, is that they won't even let me help them. I'm old enough to die for the cause, but not old enough to fight for it. I hate the idea of just sitting around waiting for the inevitable to happen."
Draco pulled away, desperately holding onto his sense of disbelief. If he allowed himself to accept this, if he started to believe... He didn't think his heart could handle that.
"Can we stop talking about this?" Draco pleaded, a hitch in his voice as he spoke.
"Yes," Harry whispered, pulling Draco back into his arms, his warm body flush against his, reminding him that he was real and alive. Draco snuggled closer into his warmth, his heart breaking with every minute that passed. He felt like crying, but all his tears were spent. It was just him and Harry, clinging to one another in the darkness.
"I'm sorry I had to tell you," he said, his face moving so close to Draco's that his eyes had merged into one single piece of emerald. "But you deserve to know the truth."
Deep down inside, Draco knew it was the truth. It explained why Voldemort frequently told his followers that Harry was his to kill. He didn't want his followers to know about his one true weakness, but he couldn't risk one of them accidentally killing the boy.
"It isn't fair," Draco replied heatedly, finding himself suddenly burning up with injustice at the whole situation. "They shouldn't be asking this of you. Why can't they just lock him up forever? Why do you have to die for this?"
Harry pulled back, a patronizing expression on his face that made Draco want to punch him.
"Do you think his followers would ever stop trying to find him? It's not just him, it's his whole movement. If he's left alive this nightmare will never end. I can't keep losing people because of this."
At that moment, the moonlight illuminating his face, he looked so small and vulnerable – a child really, a child with a very adult burden on his shoulders. Draco pulled him in close, clinging so desperately to him as if he could chase away his fate with the force of his embrace.
"I don't want to lose you either," Draco whispered, placing a light kiss in the boy's messy hair.
Harry nodded against his shoulder, neither of them saying anything as the time passed, each second a betrayal that brought them that much closer to the inevitable. If only he could stop time. If only they could stay like this forever.
Endnote: Now Draco knows the whole truth. Sorry I led you all to believe that Draco had been raped. The muses wanted me to do it, but I disobeyed. I just couldn't bring myself to write it. I fear we might pay the price for my mutiny later.