So this is where one of the big changes in the rewrite will be. Updates might be slower the next following days due to Christmas. Enjoy the holidays!

Chapter 36

"How wonderful it would be if people did all they could for one other without seeking anything in return! One should never remember a kindness done, and never forget a kindness received."—Kentetsu Takamori

The horizon was a warm goldenrod just as the sun began to ascend into the sky. The morning had come, yet the dark night had never truly ended. All the night did was grow darker as the sun rose. One by one, the guys returned, empty-handed and drained. The urgency of last night, fruitless. The rasetsu was still out there, dormant from the sunlight but hidden amongst the simple civilians, free to move about and kill once the moon rises once more.

Sano-san was the last to return, dropping into his seat beside Shinpachi-san with a dull thud and a slumped back. I bit back a yawn, turning it into a sneeze instead before dropping my head onto Souji's shoulder as he sagged in his seat beside Saito-san. There was disgust on Souji's face, something he shared with Saito-san. Disgust at failing to locate and slay the menace.

In the center of the main hall, right before Otou-san, Hijikata-san, and Sannan-san were Heisuke and Ibuki-kun. Unlike the rest of us, Heisuke and Ibuki-kun managed to locate the rasetsu the night before. Unlike how the rest of us would have handled ourselves, Heisuke hesitated, failing to land the killing blow with misplaced moral consciousness. Heisuke allowed the rasetsu escape, to live. A costly mistake that reeked of inexperience, something the Roshigumi could not afford, least of all in a captain.

"I see," Otou-san said, breaking the uneasy silence that had fallen on this room like iron maul that resulted from Heisuke's and Ibuki-kun's recap of the night before. "So you let it escape…"

Hijikata-san crossed his arms and closed his eyes as if not to distract himself while deep in thought. I could see his mind turn like a cog in a fine-tuned machine, going over each possible outcome he could fathom. Then his sharp purple eyes opened. They were cold and hard, almost untouchable like prized gemstones. Merciless. Hijikata-san then focused on Heisuke.

"At any rate, he can't move in the day. He should be in hiding somewhere. Continue your patrols throughout the day like normal," Hijikata-san ordered, his tone allowing no wiggle room. "Don't let the others catch on."

Sannan-san pushed his glasses further up his nose, the lenses reflecting the bright light of the rising sun. "The true race will begin after the sun sets. Shizuka-chan and I will join you tonight." He turned to face me, causing me to sit up straighter. "You have no complaints about this?"

I shook my head in response to Sannan-san before nearly jumping out of my skin when Heisuke unexpectedly slammed his face into the ground in a dogeza.

"Hijikata-san, I'm sorry!" Heisuke cried as he clutched his hand tightly, his fingernail digging painfully into the palms of his hand as he prostrated himself so flatly on the ground that I could have used him as a rag to wash the floor.

Then in a ballsy move for someone so disposable, Ibuki-kun ducked his alongside Heisuke. "N-No!" he stuttered nervously in his almost desperate sounding cry. "It's my fault that Heisuke—"

"I hesitated!" Heisuke continued, cutting Ibuki-kun off and stunning the blue-haired man silent. "Even though he's a monster, he was once a person. He wasn't someone I would have originally killed…"

Hijikata-san didn't bother softening his words. Instead, each word spoken had the weight of a cannonball. "That hesitation could lead to even more victims." Hijikata-san stood, preparing to leave the room with Otou-san and Sannan-san to undoubtedly plan the night's following actions. "Heisuke, there won't be a second time."

Slowly, people began leaving the room, following after Hijikata-san to begin their duties for the day. Shinpachi-san and Sano-san both glanced at Heisuke, who remained in dogeza long after Hijikata-san had left, before wordless shuffling out of the room. Saito-san, unlike the two before, didn't even spare Heisuke a glance as he stepped out with Inoue-san.

"Shizuka," Souji said, his voice muted in his exhaustion, "you should go get some sleep. You have dark bags under your eyes."

I snorted. "You're one to talk. Weren't you the one running around all night? Besides, I'm not that tired," I lied, briefly turning my head to sneak a peek at Heisuke. He still hadn't moved. "I just happen to have bags under my eyes because I was straining my eyes to read Niimi's notes that I found. He has horrible handwriting, by the way."

The way Souji was looking at me told me he didn't believe my lie for a second.

"Why don't you go take a short nap to rest up while I go cook breakfast?" I then suggested, giving Souji a gentle shove towards the door. "You're on patrol today and you can't have your senses dulling on you. I'll wake you when I'm done cooking."

"And then you'll go take a nap, right?" Souji said, not really asking as to strongly suggesting.

"Forget the nap." I paused to yawn. "I'm going to go hibernate until it's time to cook lunch."

Souji chuckled before making his way to the door. Right before he stepped out, he called back to me.

"Get Gen-san to help you with breakfast. You look like you might tip over and fall into a hot pot. I'm sure you don't taste good when cooked."

I scowled at him before quickly taking off one of my tabi to toss at him. Souji ducked the sock, laughing at me as he skipped away. I huffed, nearly smiling before I shuffled over to where Heisuke was still plastered to the floor. I shooed Ibuki-kun away before knelt down beside Heisuke. Placing a gentle hand on his back, I rubbed slow circles into his back.

"You should get up now," I said to Heisuke, my tone gentle compared to Hijikata-san's. "While remaining in dogeza may convey how apologetic you are feeling, it will ultimately solve nothing."

Heisuke remained motionless at first before his posture softened. He pushed himself upright again and folded his hands in his laps as he stared at the nail indentations on the palms of his hands.

"How?" he then said, breaking the brief silence. He sucked in a deep breath before looking up, staring directly into my eyes as if he believed he could find an answer there. "How were you able to kill that rasetsu from the other night without hesitation? You were trained for self-defense and not for killing, but you still didn't hesitate."

"Because I wasn't killing for the sake of killing." I took Heisuke's hands into mine as I massaged away the nail indention marks. "If I didn't kill, what do you imagine would have happened? Ibuki-kun was too frightened to defend himself and if the rasetsu had killed Ibuki-kun, then I would have been next."

I paused, making sure Heisuke was listening closely to what I was saying.

"In the end, it was a mixture of two things. It was to kill or be killed, and I had people to protect. There was no room to choose what I wanted to do. There was no room for hesitation."

"But still…," Heisuke muttered, still indecisive about the whole situation. "The rasetsu from last night was once a ronin, but he's still not someone I would kill! He may have been immoral, but he wasn't a murderer! He doesn't deserve death! How can you kill someone like that?"

"That man may not have been someone you would have originally killed, but that's all in the past now. Don't get lost in the past or one day you may find yourself staring at death's face and wonder how you got there."

Heisuke looked taken back by my words, almost unable to digest what I had just preached. I gave him a small smile.

"That man is no longer who he once was. He is now an uncontrollable rasetsu that will kill mindlessly. There are times where a single death can save the lives of many." I then paused. "Heisuke, why is the Roshigumi in Kyoto?"

He looked at me strangely, not understanding the sudden question and change in topic but answered nonetheless. "To protect the peace of Kyoto from ronin."

"Your job as a warrior in the Roshigumi is to protect the weak, those who cannot protect themselves. With power comes great responsibility and there are times you will have to go against your own beliefs for the greater good. It would be nice if everything in life came in neat little categories where black is black and white is white, but the reality of life is that it comes in shades of gray."

"But…" Heisuke was still hesitant. "It's not fair for that man. Why should he have to die? Isn't there another option?"

My smile became tinged with a hint of bitterness.

Fair? Life is never fair.

"Sometimes there are no other options," I answered. "But there are worst fates than death. You would be showing him mercy if you kill him. No man would want to become what he is now, to live mindlessly like a beast. It would be a kindness to put him out of his misery."

"…Oh," Heisuke said, tearing his eyes away from mine to stare at the ground. "But… just the thought of killing makes me feel sick to my stomach. The way you speak makes it sound like I will eventually get used to the killing… But what if I don't want to? Man, I feel pathetic…"

"Not all people grow used to the killing but if you can't, that doesn't mean you're weak or pathetic. You know right from wrong with an uncompromising conscience and you never yield just because it is easier to. That is the mark of the strong, not the weak. Don't be so quick to sell yourself short."

Heisuke remained silent for a few seconds, just dwelling on my words before his face erupted into the bright smile I was so fond of. He leaped to his feet energetically, forgetting I was still holding his hands and accidently dragging me up with him, causing me to fall against him.

"Ah, sorry, sorry, sorry," Heisuke said, his dower demeanor now completely gone as he helped me to my own feet again. "How is it that you always seem to know what to say sometimes? It's almost like you have the experience of another life to draw upon."

"Oh, don't mind me," I cheered with a shrug before giving him a pat on the back. "I'm just a thirty-one-year-old woman that died only to be reborn."

Except…

"Hah! That's a good one! I'd say I almost believe you!"

I wasn't joking.

The sun was quick to set, each hour of the day feeling like just mere second right up until the last few minutes before the sun started to set. Those minutes felt like horrible decades, dragging on endlessly. It was time for the hunt. Everyone was gathering at the front gates, waiting for our instructions to be delivered. Even Ibuki-kun was lingering around.

I fidgeted beside Souji, holding my naginata with alternating hands every few seconds. I even wanted to throw up a little out of sheer… impatience? No, that couldn't be right. Why would impatience make me want to vomit?

Souji grabbed my naginata, stilling it right when I was about to switch it between hands again.

"Are you nervous?" Souji asked, sounding surprised as he quirked an eyebrow at me. "That's a little unexpected, but I won't judge. If you don't want to go, then I'm sure Sannan-san won't force you."

"It's not that." I shook Souji's hand off my naginata before switching my naginata into my opposite hand. "I'm not really that nervous, just impatient."

Souji hummed and faced the front once more when we heard the shuffling of footsteps as Hijikata-san and Sannan-san arrived with Otou-san.

"Outsiders must not learn of the bakufu's secret elixir," Sannan-san stated, pushing up his glasses.

Otou-san nodded, looking much more serious than normal. "And we cannot allow people to fall victims to the rasetsu's hands."

"We will finish things tonight." Hijikata-san swept his glance over us before seemingly coming to a decision. "We'll split into pairs. I don't want anyone facing the rasetsu alone. Shinpachi, you're with Harada. Souji with Gen-san, Saito with Sannan-san, Heisuke with Shizuka, and lastly, Kondou-san and I." Hijikata-san then leveled a brief glance at Heisuke. "Don't let it get away."

"Understood!"

As we all began to trickle out of headquarters, Ibuki-kun ran after Heisuke in a rush, calling after him.

"Heisuke!" Ibuki-kun blurted out in a rush, seemingly half-holding his breath. "Please take me with you!"

Heisuke paused, looking back at Ibuki-kun with a hint of hesitation. I decided to wait by the front gates so they could finish talking about whatever it was. I didn't want to have to face the rasetsu alone if I did run into it if I went ahead without Heisuke.

"Ryunosuke…"

"I'm partly responsible for him getting away." Then as an afterthought, "And couldn't you use an extra pair of eyes?"

"Yeah, but…" Heisuke grew silent when he saw Ibuki-kun's eyes, filled to the brim with a fierce determination that was almost admirable. It was something Heisuke could relate to. "Got it. But in exchange, please do whatever I tell you. No matter what, don't do anything risky!"

Ibuki-kun's expression brightened up immediately. "Okay!"

But as far as I could tell, wasn't it a risky moving bringing Ibuki-kun in the first place? He couldn't bring himself to draw his sword when he was in danger himself. We couldn't afford the distraction of protecting him when we were up against a rasetsu.

I glanced at Heisuke but ultimately didn't say anything when I saw the determination on his face. Instead, I focused on scanning the empty dark streets for any clues. It was silent from the lack of daily bustle of the people. There was nothing to go off on. As this went on for hours, long into the Hour of the Boar, I couldn't help but wonder if we were going about this the wrong way.

We obviously weren't going to find the rasetsu if we were searching for it the way we would normally search for another human being. The rasetsu wasn't human, at least not anymore, and it obviously lacked the logical thought humans were notorious for. Seeing the first rasetsu didn't survive long enough for us to study it extensively, we didn't understand it behavior pattern as well as we should have.

So if the rasetsu didn't operate on logical thought, what did it operate on? It flees when in danger, it fights back when attacked.

Survival instinct, the most basic instinct all animals have. That had to be it.

But the thing was known to attack humans on sight. Why? Was it because it detected humans as a threat or something else?

"Heisuke." I nudged his side with my elbow, causing him to look at me inquisitively. "What do rasetsu eat?"

Obtaining food is, after all, a part of the survival instinct.

Heisuke remained silent for a second, but his face said it all. He paled as his mouth scrunched up into a disgusted scowl.

"Eww," he squealed, now looking quite disturbed. "Why would you even think about such a thing? That's so gross."

"But it's an excellent question, right?" I pushed. "We established that rasetsu no longer have the power of thought, right? Logically speaking, what drives their actions becomes instinct. But why do they attack humans?"

"Well, it's because it feels threatened, right?"

"It could be that, but do you remember what happened when the rasetsu fled from headquarters? It was going to attack Ibuki-kun but fled when we arrived on the scene," I pointed out. "As you said, rasetsu will act if they feel threatened, whether it be attacking the threat or fleeing, but why did it attempt to attack Ibuki-kun in the first place. Anything can tell that Ibuki-kun isn't threatening at all. What is left?"

Ibuki-kun then paled. "D-Do you mean t-that it was going t-to a-attempt to e-eat me?! No, that can't be it! That sounds too outlandish! Stop trying to scare me!"

Now Heisuke looked really grossed out.

"But it's a monster!" Heisuke exclaimed, looking for excuses. "Don't monsters just attack people for no reason? That's why they're called monsters! Maybe it attacks humans just because it enjoys it."

"It's never as simple as that. There are always reasons behind actions, simple cause and effect," I said, the shadow over my face growing. "Besides, attacking people out of sheer enjoyment also goes along with cause and effect."

"Gah…" Heisuke sounded notably less energetic. "I really hope that the reason that thing attacks humans isn't because it likes the taste of human blood…" He shuddered. "But why bring all of this up?"

I was getting to that.

"Well, since we don't seem to be having any luck finding the rasetsu though our normal methodology of searching, I thought we should factor in the attributes that rasetsu carry and make predictions on where it may go."

Heisuke and Ibuki-kun both made a face at me.

"Shizuka-chan," Heisuke muttered, "you make everything too complicated sometimes."

I, in return, made a face back for that response.

"I do not. And do you have a better idea?"

Heisuke shook his head and looked to me, silently telling me that I better not back down after I said that because he was going to put me in charge of planning.

"Okay," I said, pausing my steps to hold up the nonexistent traffic in the empty street. "What do we know about the rasetsu?"

"It attacks people," Ibuki-kun stated flatly.

"And it's only active at night because it's weak to the sunlight," Heisuke added, putting his thumb under his chin while thinking. "I think that means it may also not like any forms of light because the light reminds it too much of the sun. It also might not like to be too close to large groups of people because it might consider large groups to be a threat…" Heisuke paused. "If we assume that it likes the dark and blood but dislikes large groups of people, then wouldn't it hide in narrow alleyways while waiting to ambush a lone person?"

"So, try the alleys?" I asked.

Both Ibuki-kun and Heisuke nodded, but we actually never got to start searching the dark alleys.

A shrill scream of a woman ripped the quiet as the echo made the scream seem louder than it really was, sending chills down our spines.

Heisuke swung his head toward the direction the scream came from. "Over there!" he shouted as he bolted, running toward the closest side street.

I found little satisfaction in the fact that I was correct, or rather Heisuke was correct in his prediction. The side street that we bolted down turned into a dark alleyway with a dead end sandwiched between two vacant shops.

With the peaceful moon as an eerie backdrop, the rasetsu stood on the roof, it clothing torn and stained in crusty dry blood as it bloodshot eyes glowed ominously. Its crooked grin grew as it spotted us before howling to the moon. Right below the rasetsu on the dirt ground was an unconscious woman. It was too dark to see if there was anything else wrong with the woman.

"Ryunosuke, look after that lady," Heisuke ordered, drawing his sword without taking his eyes off the escaped monstrosity. "Shizuka-chan, check the lady for injuries and don't get involved. This is my fight."

I could have pointed out that Hijikata-san specifically paired us off so none of us would have to face the rasetsu alone, but Heisuke appeared so determined to redeem himself that I just found it easier to comply with his orders. Heisuke was a talented warrior in his own right. He didn't need my support against one imperfect rasetsu.

Almost as if it understood that Heisuke was the one that was going to fight it, the rasetsu leaped from the roof, smashing into the ground and creating a miniature crater where Heisuke once stood. With the rasetsu's full attention on Heisuke, Ibuki-kun and I were able to rush to the unconscious woman without interference. The woman, by the way, was fortunate enough to not sport a single injury.

As the beast clamber out of the crater it created upon its miss, it seemed to survey its surroundings slowly before bolting towards Heisuke at an impossible speed. Heisuke ducked, dodging the powerful kick aimed at his chest before he was finally backed into a wall by the rasetsu's relentless attacks.

I felt my heart jump in my throat as I scrambled to my feet with my naginata in hand.

"Stay back!" Heisuke yelled at me before I could even take a step toward him.

In an instant, Heisuke rolled out of the way as the rasetsu lunged. Unable to stop itself, the rasetsu crashed into the wooden wall, punching through a load-bearing wall and causing at least half the building to collapse.

Unfazed by the by the damage it caused to itself, it rose from the pile of rubble. Its mangled arm cracking and making horrible popping sounds as the broken bones realigned themselves. It was fascinating as much as it was grotesque. Then the rasetsu rushed at Heisuke recklessly again, only this time, Heisuke didn't move. He was done dodging.

All it took was one downward slash to the chest to immobilize the manic creature. Stunned by Heisuke's sudden attack, it didn't attempt to move until it was too late. The rasetsu's last movements consisted of it collapsing as Heisuke removed his blade from its punctured heart.

Heisuke hovered over the corpse, remaining motionless as his deep breaths came in messy huffs and puffs. His blood-soaked sword dangled uselessly from his hands as he stared at the lifeless body, stunned by what actions he had just committed.

His first kill.

Sensing a difference in Heisuke, Ibuki-kun slowly approached him while carefully watching the dead rasetsu like he was afraid it wasn't truly dead.

"Heisuke, are you alright?" Ibuki-kun asked, his words carefully spoken in a soft tone.

"Yeah…" Heisuke's voice was strained and even quaked a little as he looked down at the hand holding his sword. Blood had spattered onto his hand, staining red. "How's the lady?"

"She only passed out from fright," I said, watching the sword drop in what felt like slow motion.

"Thank the gods…" Heisuke brought his bloodied hands up as he stared at them and shook. "I choose to walk the path of the warrior. I will cut down anyone who stands against my beliefs. So I am going to continue to kill, to kill and to kill… But will I ever grow accustomed to this…?"

I abandoned the unconscious woman on the ground in favor of Heisuke. I grabbed his shaking bloodied hands with my own to steady them, much to Heisuke's surprise.

"Shizuka-chan…?" Heisuke attempted to shake his hands free from mine. "Let go… You're getting blood on yourself."

I shook my head and offered a small smile. "Don't forget that your friends are with you. You may have to kill again but don't forget about us. Killing is a heavy burden, so don't carry it by yourself. We're all here to share the burden."

But then I just had to look at the half-collapsed shop and the unconscious woman. No surprise why I had a headache forming. Also, the fight between Heisuke and the rasetsu wasn't particularly quiet. People would have heard the ruckus and we're just lucky no one ran outside to investigate. Suddenly, I felt awful for Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san.

"Shizuka-chan?"

My expression must have betrayed my thoughts to Heisuke. Yamazaki-san and Shimada-san were going to have a hell of a time cleaning up this mess while attempting to come up with a believable cover story to feed the public. It was a PR[1] nightmare.

"Let's just go home," I said with a nervous laughter.

Cleanup? What cleanup?

I get that denial isn't healthy, but, at this point, I think the stress was worse. A classic case of "pick your poison".

The long night was finally over.

The long night, unfortunately, was the precursor to the long weeks that followed. One would think that Niimi would learn his lesson from the first escaped rasetsu and exercise more caution when experimenting. Definitely not the case. The idiot allowed two more rasetsu, one after another, to escape their confines just days after the whole debacle. Thankfully the rasetsu were slain before escaping headquarters.

But with the whole rasetsu situation, by the end of a week or two, the stress was so tangible at headquarters that it sat on the ambiance of the place like an anvil.

I heard Souji pop his neck before I saw him enter our bedroom during the evening. His hand was on his neck as he stepped into the room, attempting to pop his neck once more. He shed his swords on his katana stand before dropping on the floor right behind me with a loud thumping sound. I placed the calligraphy brush on the table, pausing my lung diagram to focus my attention on him. Without even looking at his back, I found a knot[2] between his shoulder blades near instantly.

"Stupid moron…," I heard Souji mutter under his breath as he stretched his arms, leaning back into me when I moved behind him and placed my hands on the muscle knot. It was stiff and beyond tense. "Of course a real sword is going to be heavier than a bokken. It is made from metal… How does Hajime-kun deal with these idiots on a daily basis?"

"It's because he's more patient than you," I pointed out while kneading the knot away. It seemed to loosen up the moment my fingers started applying pressure. "Long day with the recruits? I didn't see you all day."

"Missed me?" he asked, his impish grin growing even more when I pecked his cheek.

I draped myself over him, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind as I placed my chin on his shoulder. "What do you think?" I asked, giving him an exaggerated doleful look. "I spent most of my morning with Hijikata-san and Sannan-san to assist with a finance report before spending the rest of my afternoon lounging in Otou-san's room due to an upset stomach. Though, Otou-san didn't seem all that upset I spent all afternoon with him. I think he was even ditching some of his duties to stay longer."

Souji chuckled before sneakily snatching me up and dragging me onto his lap. "That sounds like Kondou-san." He hummed, his arms going around my center before wrapping his fingers around the cord of my hakama. "Would you happen to be in the mood right now? 'Cause I could really go for some 'destressing'. It's been a while since we've done anything."

I snorted, raising an eyebrow at his eagerness. And when I say eager, I really do mean eager. I hadn't even given him an answer yet and I could already feel "little Souji" pressing up against me, poking me.

"It's only been three weeks since we did it last. And honestly, I'm not really in the mood."

Souji sagged immediately with a petulant pout before blowing air in my face. "You haven't been in the mood for weeks…" He then froze, the look of fake panic exaggerated on his face as his back shot up straight. "Wait… Don't tell me I haven't been satisfying you?! You should have told me! I swear I can figure out what I'm doing wrong!"

I swatted at his chest playful, causing him to laugh. "You know it's not that!"

He smiled into the nape of my neck as he snuffed his giggles. "I know, I know… But seriously, what's wrong? You really haven't been in the mood for a while."

"I've just been a little achy lately, plus the upset stomach from this afternoon. I think I might be coming down with something. I really hope it's not the stomach flu. Summer stomach flu is the worst."

"Only you would get sick in the summer." Souji snorted.

"Hey! Don't make fun of me!" I pouted before I looked down to see Souji still fingering the cord of my hakama.

You know what? I really wasn't feeling up for it, but I really needed a pick me up.

I turned in Souji's lap before I knocked him over and ended up pinning him to the floor with my legs straddling his hips, surprising him as he raised his brow at me.

"I thought you weren't in the mood."

"I've changed my mind," I said, pawing at the sash tying his brown uwagi[3] shut.

Souji didn't fight at all to keep his outermost layer on. Instead, he shed his hakamashita just as fast as his uwagi, bearing his bare chest me before rolling and pinning me to the floor beneath him.

"Well, if the lady insists…," Souji said dramatically, faking resign before managing to remove all my clothing in one skillful swoop.

He offered me a charming grin before pressing his lips against my breast, causing me to hiss and recoil, much to his confusion. That hiss wasn't the good hiss.

"Shizuka?" He sat up, helping me off the floor too before furrowing his brow at me. "What's wrong? It almost sounded like you were in pain. Look, don't push yourself if you aren't really in the mood. I won't die without sex, you know."

"It's not that. They've just been really sensitive lately. If you can just avoid touching…"

And that's when my thought trailed off and a brick hit me in the face.

My breasts were sensitive because lately, they've been growing larger. I had originally chalked that off as being caused by the changes in my hormones as my period prepared to come. But my period actually never came. I had been spotting[4] a little so I just assumed that my period was just late. And now that I had gotten a proper look at my breast in the proper lighting of lanterns, I could see that my areolas[5] had darkened.

And that small pooch on my belly? Much to my dismay, I had thought I was just gaining weight before and tried exercising a bit more, which was completely worthless since all my belly did was grow larger. It fact, it really wasn't so small anymore. Nobody had said anything about my weight gain because no one noticed yet. The kimono, unlike western clothing, was designed to hide body shape, so my growing belly couldn't be seen through my clothing yet[6]. Plus, the last time Souji had seen me completely naked was three weeks ago, when the bump was less prominent. Souji probably wasn't saying anything right now about the weight gain just to be polite.

Then there was the upset stomach and occasional vomiting, which I made sure Souji knew nothing about. That had to be morning sickness[7]. Plus, nothing did smell right anymore too.

Pregnant.

One would think I would notice it sooner, being a medically trained doctor and all. But it was always harder to put together your own symptoms rather than someone else's. Biases tended to get in the way of that.

"Shizuka?" Souji's voice shook me halfway out of my thoughts. I still felt like I was floating on air. "Hey!" I turned to him, though I felt like I wasn't really looking at him. "What's wrong?"

"Um…" I laughed nervously.

What was I going to say next? Oh, I just realized that I'm pregnant?

Actually, yeah… That did sound like something I would say.

"Shizuka?"

"Err…"

"You just broke your brain, didn't you?" Souji just looked amused. It wasn't often that I tripped over my own words like this.

"I—Yes. No! I mean… Well, you see, I was just looking down and I noticed a few things and realized something. I mean, my breasts are all sore and sensitive—How did I miss all of this before? Oh! And then when I felt sick to my stomach this afternoon…," I rambled on, not making much sense. And bless Souji's heart! He just nodded and didn't interrupt my senseless babbling. "…And the main point is…," I choked on the last word from almost saying it too fast, "…pregnant. I'm pregnant."

And then the world froze as Souji's eyes widened.

"Pregnant?" he uttered so quietly that I almost didn't hear it. "Wait, you just realized it?" He was in complete disbelief, just like me. "How did you even miss it? I mean I'm pretty sure I'm looking a baby bump right now."

"I was kind of distracted by other things."

Souji snorted. "Really? Because I totally couldn't tell," he said sarcastically, unable to hide the joy that had erupted on his face in the form of a grin. He pulled me closer so he could lay his warm hand on my belly. "Airhead. How far along do you think you are?"

"Well, my monthly bleeding is late by…" I did a mental calculation before redoing it two more times to be sure. "I'm pretty sure I'm—"

"AHHHWAWHA!"

Niimi and his rasetsu experiments always did have the most rotten timing.

"FUCK! I swear I WILL fucking kill Niimi-san this time!" Souji practically snarled like a rabid wolf as he leaped to his feet, redressing at the speed of light before grabbing his swords as he bolted towards the door. "Shizuka, stay here. We still have more to talk about."

"Wait!" I scrambled to reach for my clothing, causing Souji to pause right at the threshold of the door. "I'll come too!"

"WHAT?!" Souji turned so fast that I dropped my clothing in surprise. "Shizuka, are you out of your mind?! You're pregnant! You can't come!"

"It's early pregnancy, so it's not like my movement is hindered! Plus, with everyone there, I might not even have to participate in killing the rasetsu!"

"Shizuka! No!" Souji appeared beyond exasperated at this point. "It'll still be too dangerous for the baby! You should know this! You're a doctor."

Still, that didn't do anything to dull my desire to come and help, but Souji had spoken logically. They could handle the rasetsu without the meager help I could offer. And Souji was right. I was being stupid and didn't even think about how my actions could endanger the baby.

I dropped the clothing I picked up previously and moved to our futon so I could sit down and wrap the blanket around my bare body in disappointment. I could almost feel Souji's relief when he sighed.

"Be a good girl and stay here. I'll be back as soon as possible."

"Be careful?"

Souji nodded, closing our bedroom door securely, not that it would protect from much since it was a shōji door, and bolted towards the source of the disruption.

From the room, I could hear a few yells followed by the clashing of steel on steel before the night fell quiet once more. I was almost tempted to crack the door open and sneak a peek, but honestly, it would feel a bit awkward doing that while dressed in nothing more than a blanket and I didn't feel like redressing either.

It really didn't take long for Souji to return either. Other than looking a little ruffled, he looked completely fine. Rather than placing his swords back on the katana stand at the head of the futon on the side he slept on, he just placed his swords beside me in a rush before sitting down and pulling me into his lap.

"You didn't really kill Niimi, did you?" I asked just as Souji slipped a hand under the blanket to lay directly on my belly again.

His touch was so gentle that it was indescribable. He had never touched me like this before.

"No, but I was tempted to."

"That's a pity. It'd be one less thing to worry about."

Souji chuckled before nuzzling my cheek. "I'll remember that for next time. Now back to what was important. I believe you were going to tell how far you are along."

"Six. I think it's six," I said, allowing myself to sink further into his lap. He was so warm.

"Six weeks?" Souji said, squinting his eyes briefly as he fell silent for a second. "Isn't that when…"

"The night you returned from Osaka after the whole sumo incident."

"So something good did come out of it… It didn't actually take that long to get you pregnant, now that I think about it. We've only been married a little more than two months." Souji looked particularly pleased before he pressed a kiss into the crook of my neck. "So what do you want first? A boy or a girl?"

"Either is good." I tilted my head up at Souji. "What about you? Boy or girl first?"

Souji didn't even take the time to think first. "Girl. Definitely a girl first. I want another little Shizuka running around first. Plus, you already live in a household of men. Another girl would be nice."

"Anyway," I said, changing the topic as I wiggled my butt in his lap," since I'm already naked…"

Souji gave me a stern look. "Shizuka, you're pregnant."

"Is that a yes or a no?"

"Shizuka, not while you're pregnant."

Unfortunately, culture deemed having sex while pregnant a no-no out of fear of hurting the baby while my knowledge from the future told me it was perfectly fine. But there wasn't much I could do to convince Souji, so all I did was sit there and scowl at him.

[1] Short for public relations.

[2] Myofascial trigger points, also known as trigger points, are described as hyperirritable spots in the fascia surrounding skeletal muscle. They are associated with palpable nodules in taut bands of muscle fibers. They are a topic of ongoing controversy, as there is limited data to inform a scientific understanding of the phenomenon. Accordingly, a formal acceptance of myofascial "knots" as an identifiable source of pain is more common among bodyworkers, physical therapists, and chiropractors and osteopathic practitioners. Nonetheless, the concept of trigger points provides a framework which may be used to help address certain musculoskeletal pain.

[3] An uwagi (上衣) is a kimono-like jacket worn in Japan. It is most familiar as the top half of a martial arts uniform. The third element, the obi, ties the uwagi closed. In some martial arts, the set is completed with hakama, which might be worn over, or instead of the zubon.

[4] Spotting is relatively common: As many as 1 in 4 pregnant women spot in the first trimester. Some pregnant women notice light spotting, called implantation bleeding, around the time their period is due, and this is one early sign of pregnancy.

This bleeding may be caused by the fertilized egg burrowing into the blood-rich lining of the uterus (a process that starts just six days after fertilization), but no one knows for sure. Implantation bleeding is a lot lighter than a typical period – just a little spotting over a day or two.

[5] In anatomy, the areola is a small circular area on the body with a different histology from the surrounding tissue. The term is most commonly used to denote the pigmented area on the human breast around the nipple (areola mammae) but it can also describe other small circular areas such as an inflamed region of skin.

[6] Kimono were designed to give a woman a tube-like figure with no curves. Curves are usually hidden by the obi and if the woman's bust size or bottom is too large, there are special towels used as padding to hide such features.

[7] "Morning sickness" is a misnomer. For some pregnant women, the symptoms are worse in the morning and ease up over the course of the day, but they can strike at any time and, for many women, last all day long. The intensity of symptoms can also vary from woman to woman too.

The medical term for morning sickness is "nausea and vomiting of pregnancy." Up to three quarters of pregnant women have at least some nausea or vomiting during the first trimester, and about half have only vomiting. The nausea usually starts around 6 weeks of pregnancy, but it can begin as early as 4 weeks. It tends to get worse over the next month or so.

About half of the women who get nausea during pregnancy feel complete relief around 14 weeks. For most others, it takes another month or so for the queasiness to ease up, though it may return later and come and go throughout pregnancy. A small percentage of women have symptoms that persist continually (or nearly so) until delivery.