A/N: I loved all of the honeymoon ideas! Keep 'em coming if you have any divine inspiration, but I am 99 percent certain I've settled on a location... and I think you're gonna like it :)
Thank you, alg. You not only talked me down from a PMS-induced snot sob, but you helped me a great deal with gift ideas this chapter.
TwilightMundi, I stg you deserve a medal for the "... and me" changes you made this chapter. My only excuse is that I cried a lot while writing it and um, yeah, that's all I've got. Thank you.
Did you know that LolaShoes, ninapolitan and tby789 are organizing a fund raiser? For more details on how YOU can help, check it out – http://www(dot)alexslemonade(dot)org/stands/19842 – replacing the (dot) with actual dots.
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We'd made it through Sue and Charlie's wedding, now we just needed to get through the rest of Edward's interviews, match submissions, match results, both of our graduations and hopefully house hunting in Seattle. Oh, and the minor detail of our own wedding.
I fell asleep smiling and crying, the conflict of feelings not lost on me.
BPOV
Charlie and Sue's honeymoon would be only a few days; they were flying home to spend Christmas Eve with Sue's kids, then we'd have Christmas dinner together. They said they just wanted a few nights away, but that they would rather spend time with us while we were in town. Once we left, they'd be alone again, they reassured us. I tried not to think too long about them being alone together, honestly.
We spent the next day debating the merits of apartments, finally agreeing to narrow the list to studios and one bedrooms. Once we had that decided, Jasper called and asked for the rental company to email an application for him. He knew exactly which place he wanted without a second look. He needed to move fast with the holidays and everything closing down. Even though Esme and Carlisle had reassured him he could stay with them as long as he needed, everyone agreed it wasn't practical to drive back and forth between Forks and Seattle for practice and team meetings.
Several email conversations and phone calls later, Jasper had secured a lease on a one bedroom apartment. It was a relief to have that out of our minds and worries. We'd be able to collect the keys and help Jasper move a few things in the day before we left.
Christmas Eve was another around-the-house day. The five of us lazed and lounged, simply enjoying the rest and relaxation of our vacation time together. Esme and I prepped some of the food for Christmas lunch, then we opened a bottle of wine and enjoyed a movie together. It was another perfect day, ending with the boys and me snuggled tightly together in bed.
The next morning, the three of us lounged in bed once we were awake. We knew Carlisle and Esme were probably waiting for us downstairs, but we needed the time. I was snuggled into one of Jasper's arms, my eyes meeting Edward's across his chest. It was perfect and warm, exactly where I wanted to stay all day.
"Swan Cullen Whitlock?" I said softly. "It just sounds like too much. Our poor kids."
"I think we have to be practical about this one," Jasper said. His fingers were skimming my back, almost tickling but not quite.
"What's your suggestion, then?" Edward asked. "Swacullock? Cuwhitan? Whitswalen? Nothing makes sense."
"If I change my name, it will draw attention to us. For me, this is a potential career-ender. I can explain away or ignore questions about the three of us living together, but there's going to be no easy out if we all share the same last name. Sure, I can say it's no one's business, but the reality is, we'll just be giving them one more reason to talk. If it's really important to either of you, we can talk about it, but if it isn't? It is much easier to leave things as they are," Jasper offered.
Edward hummed and his body shifted as he spoke, "I rather like the idea of the three of us being Cullens."
"Yes, I can feel how much you like that idea, Edward," Jasper laughed as he spoke, then turned slightly to kiss Edward. "Maybe we can revisit the topic once I'm no longer in the public eye," Jasper conceded.
He had a point, and I knew we would probably talk about it again, but even from a legal standpoint, we gained nothing by changing our last names.
"But we didn't get Bella's opinion on staying a Swan...." Edward said.
I heard them both laugh before tackling me. Oh well, so we'd be a little later for breakfast and gift opening; it was sure as hell worth it.
When we finally made our way downstairs, we all still had our pajamas on and I couldn't help the giggles that kept coming out each time I looked at Edward and Jasper. If their hair looks like that, I can only imagine what mine looks like, I thought. Esme's laughter upon seeing us only confirmed my suspicions.
"It's about time! I was just going to call for a rescue mission."
Esme handed me a large cup of coffee, then gave me a tight hug. I gave Carlisle a hug, then we all sat around the Christmas tree. For a few minutes, we just sat in quiet, enjoying the twinkling lights, coffee, and togetherness.
Carlisle was the one to break the quiet, insisting he couldn't wait another second to dive in to his stocking. As he dumped the contents onto the floor, I laughed so hard my abs began to ache. He was literally like a kid on Christmas, picking through the utilitarian gifts that fell out, trying to find the one apparent gem. Edward explained to me that stockings were usually Carlisle's favorite part of Christmas, as Esme filled them to the brim with both fun and practical things.
I was surprised when Esme brought me my own stocking, and the lump in my throat became impossible to swallow.
"Merry Christmas, Bella," she said with a quick peck on my cheek.
I missed my mother more in that moment than I had perhaps ever. Giving Esme the most fake smile ever, I tried to compose myself. I swiped away my tears quickly and snuggled into Edward's side. As I picked through the contents, I thought about the traditions from my own childhood that I'd want to pass on to my kids. I would definitely be stealing the stocking idea, I realized. Toothpaste, gum, hand lotion and other sundries aside, I came upon a beautifully wrapped, small, square box.
Carefully peeling the paper off, I opened the turquoise hinged box to reveal a pair of earrings. A beautiful pair of silver-looking earrings in the shape of a heart, with three diamonds in each side.
My head fell to my chest and I let the tears fall. Sometimes it was okay to acknowledge being sad, right? It had been a long time since she'd died. I had long ago reconciled that, while I missed my mom all the time, there was nothing I could do to bring her back and grieving every day wasn't something she'd want me to do. But right in that moment? I wanted her to meet Jasper and Edward. I wanted her to be at my wedding. I wanted her to be unwrapping gifts beside me and teasing us about grandkids.
I wanted what I couldn't have, and it hurt.
"She was killed in a car accident. I was eighteen at the time, and she was my best friend. We were so different, but exactly the same," I muttered, my voice just a crackle.
I dug deep for memories I had set aside long ago, laughing at the way Renee would have completely embraced my life with my two boys. She would have cheered us on, held my hand, and been in my corner every step of the way. She also would have been equally surprised and unsurprised by that first weekend in Chicago. She always said I needed to just let go a little and I'd find myself – my true self.
"Sorry," I said, looking up at everyone. "I haven't talked about her in a long time. It was easier to just … not. It wasn't that I forgot about her or stopped loving or missing her, it was just too difficult to tell everyone that came into my life. She was the reason I wanted to become a lawyer. She always told me I had the fire to fight for people who needed someone on their side. I'm sorry she didn't get to meet you two," I said, looking back and forth between Edward and Jasper. "And Esme, she would have really loved you. She'd have flirted with Carlisle, then tried to get you to dish the good dirt on him," I laughed as I spoke, remembering just how flirty she was with everyone. It wasn't ever serious, just good-natured fun. "For that matter, she'd have flirted with you two, too." I pointed to my men at the last comment.
Thankfully, the room dissolved into giggles and I was able to catch my breath. I watched as everyone else dug through their stockings, then settled back between the boys on the couch. The three of us were holding hands when Carlisle sat on the floor and began passing out gifts.
Esme and Carlisle got me a gift card to a bookstore I loved, which I was very thankful for. I wouldn't have time to read much over the next few months, but after that, I looked forward to getting back into the swing of reading like I used to. Edward got a gift card to Toast, his favorite place to go for brunch, which made Jasper and me giggle. Jasper got a cute book of coupons with tickets for laundry service, homemade dinner delivered to him and other similar things. It was perfect for him, as he'd never come out and ask Esme or Carlisle for anything, but it allowed him to "redeem" a coupon for things that would certainly make his life easier.
After a few jokes about less appropriate gifts being exchanged much later, Edward handed me a small envelope from the two of them. I opened the seal and opened the gift certificate to a day spa by our apartment in Chicago.
"We know how stressed you are, so take a day for yourself, please?" Jasper leaned in to kiss me as he spoke.
I nodded and kissed him back, then turned to kiss Edward as well. It touched me every time they reminded me of how much they cared about me. I had never imagined love could be like this.
We headed to Charlie and Sue's house after a sit-down lunch at the Cullens' to exchange Christmas gifts. We had gotten them a gift card to a home store and they surprised us with a beautifully framed photograph of the three of us from their wedding. It was lovely, unexpected, and very much appreciated. I couldn't wait to get it back to Chicago to hang on the wall. Charlie and Sue got Esme and Carlisle a gift card to a nice restaurant nearby, and I saw Charlie blush as Sue opened their gift – a gift card to the local naughty shop. The same shop Edward, Jasper, and I had been in just after we met. I wanted to die from embarrassment as Sue and Esme made plans to go shopping together.
We had dinner together as we listened to Sue give us all of the publicly-acceptable details of their honeymoon. The atmosphere was so different at their house, compared to the Cullens' – it wasn't that Charlie and Sue judged us, they obviously seemed to accept our circumstances, but there was something else that seemed to hum in the air around us.
Knowing we wouldn't see Charlie and Sue again until my graduation, I hugged them both tight. The day had felt like a gentle reminder that you never knew when you might lose someone, and I wanted them to both know how much I loved and appreciated them.
The rest of the night back at Carlisle and Esme's was calm and quiet, but then I remembered about the promise of a private gift from Edward and Jasper. As discreetly as I could, I grabbed their hands and dragged them to the bedroom. I hopped onto the bed and tried to look as sexy as I could in my jeans and t-shirt.
Edward was laughing and teasing me about being eager, while Jasper dug around in the closet and pulled out a large wrapped box.
"That's huge. How many inappropriate gifts did you two get me?" I waggled my eyebrows at them as I rubbed my hands together in delight.
"Us," Edward corrected. "And, a lot, apparently," he finished, sitting next to me. Jasper sat on the other side and I tore into the paper, nothing like the graceful unwrapping I had done earlier with Esme's gift. I lifted the lid and gasped, not even knowing where to begin on the box before me.
"Holy shit," I whispered. My fingers grazed over toys, bottles, books, DVD cases and more.
"The catch is, I'm keeping this box here in Seattle," Jasper said. "A little something to look forward to when we're back together."
I could hardly find it in myself to be disappointed about not being able to dive into the box right then. Perhaps the tease of the next six months and thinking about everything in the box would be fun.
Getting up off the bed, I dug around in the closet and produced my own box for Jasper.
"It's not really for Christmas. More of a going away gift."
Jasper unwrapped the box and opened it. As he lifted out one of my ratty, old t-shirts, side-by-side with one of Edward's, he sort of shook his head a bit. When he looked up at me, I was startled by his beautiful, clear blue eyes.
"I tried to wear it as much as I could without you noticing, so it would smell like me. I had Edward do the same with his," I explained.
"Wear them again tonight and tomorrow?" he asked quietly. His words were a harsh reminder that we only had two more nights together.
Edward and I agreed and the three of us slept as close together as we could again, soaking up as much of "us" as we could.
The boys mostly hung out the next day, watching movies and playing video games. Esme and I did some baking and talked about more wedding details. I showed her some ideas in the folder and we talked about honeymoon locations. I wasn't sure what the boys had in mind, but we needed to schedule something soon. After dinner, I decided to broach the topic.
"Hey, boys, where are we going on our honeymoon?"
Jasper and Edward looked at each other and shrugged. "Where do you want to go?"
I thought about it before answering. "Hmm. I dunno, someplace warm and sunny. Where I can hold both of your hands and play on the beach." I had more I wanted to say, but it was entirely inappropriate around Carlisle and Esme. I hoped my flirty smile conveyed the unspoken.
"That sounds perfect. I won't have much time, unfortunately. A week, maybe?"
Jasper nodded and agreed. "I won't have much time either. A week would be good."
"Okay."
I was disappointed it would be so short, but our lives were crazy and I had to accept what they had to offer.
"How about if I research and plan it? You two will be so busy. I'd really love the chance to surprise you both," Jasper said.
I looked at Edward and we both had huge grins on our faces.
"That'd be great," I said.
"Speaking of the wedding..." Edward began, then turned to look at Carlisle. "We know it's not legally binding, Dad, but the three of us discussed it and we'd like you to consider officiating the ceremony."
The four of us at the table were all looking at Carlisle then. His mouth opened and closed several times as he struggled to find the words. I worried he was going to say no, and took Edward's hand into mine, squeezing gently. Even if he said no, it would still be okay. He supported us, maybe he just couldn't go that far?
I saw Esme's hand reach for Carlisle's, which had been resting on the table. As she squeezed, I realized that she knew him so much better than anyone else there, and wondered if we'd reach that point eventually – where your partner knows you better than you know yourself.
Esme got up and walked around Carlisle's chair, wrapping her arms around his neck from behind. She whispered in his ear and I saw his hand discreetly reach up to his eye.
"Sorry," he said, clearing his throat. "A piece of dust must've fallen into my eye. Are you sure about that, you guys?"
The three of us nodded back at him and he smiled.
"I'd be honored."
~-~
The next morning held a sense of excitement and dread. Edward and I were driving with Jasper to Seattle to move his boxes and get his keys. We took Esme's SUV so we could fit more boxes in, as Tanya's trunk was too small to hold much. The drive was mostly spent listening to music and talking about everything and anything except our impending separation.
Once we had the keys, we moved the boxes in and Jasper hid the naughty box in the bedroom closet with a devilish grin.
"Don't think about playing in there by yourself, Mister," I scolded.
"I'm not allowed to play with my toys while you're gone?" he asked suggestively, one side of his smile tugging up a little farther than the other. His hands were resting on the waist of his jeans and I wanted nothing more than to tackle him and fuck right there in the middle of the mostly-empty apartment. Instead, I walked up and put my hand directly on his erection.
"You can play with one toy, baby, as long as you think about Edward and me while you do it."
I kissed him and Edward came up behind Jasper, sandwiching his body between ours. We were frantic, kissing and groping each other, and I realized I wasn't the only one that wanted a last-minute connection. There was no furniture, no soft surface to lay or kneel on, but it didn't matter as we loved each other in that moment. We needed the bond, the reassurance, as we moved together and quietly came in turn. I had been wrong when I thought the other night was our last time together for a while, and the drive back to Forks was silenced with the thick emotion in the air.
Too tired to even talk, we all simply fell into bed and slept heavily that night. Our flight left too early the next day to do much together, but anything would be better than the next few months of being apart.
~-~
When I woke up, the first thing I noticed was the smell of bacon. I hummed out loud when I smelled the unmistakable sticky-sweet cinnamon roll goodness scent trailing behind it.
"Can we just move in here?" I asked to no one in particular.
My eyes were still closed, so I opened them to look around when I got no answer to my question, then realized I was alone. Pulling on some pajama bottoms, I walked down to the kitchen and spotted Esme, Jasper, and Edward all in the kitchen working together. They were cleaning up pots and pans, mixing bowls, and other various kitchen implements. Carlisle was at the table enjoying a cup of coffee, so I decided to join him.
We all enjoyed the feast, filling our plates with eggs, bacon, cinnamon rolls, fresh orange juice, and coffee. I giggled as I thought about little Avery and her own version of pigging out – how Rose had called her Piglet. It was true, she did make an awful lot of adorable grunts and groans as she ate. I looked down at my plate and wondered what it would be like to be a mom.
After my shower, I folded up my t-shirt, then Edward's, and placed them inside Jasper's suitcase. I included a note, not a goodbye letter, but a short note to let him know just how much I loved and would miss him.
All too soon, it was time for us to leave. Esme and Carlisle were driving separately and Jasper, Edward, and I were going in the Volvo. Esme and Carlisle had agreed to help Jasper do some shopping at IKEA for a couch and a bed. Once we were all moved, we had agreed we'd use the bed in a guest bedroom. Jasper didn't have much use for other furniture, but he'd also get some housewares and such, with Esme's help. The thought of Esme helping him set up the apartment and not me made my stomach ache, but there was nothing I could do to shift our timeline around.
As we parked, everyone was quiet. Jasper and Edward unloaded our bags, only the strain of their bodies and breathing were heard. I stood, frozen still, silent. Scared.
They each took a hand and wheeled the luggage with the other, the three of us making our way inside the loud airport. Carlisle and Esme were already waiting at the ticket counter and the five of us sat at a coffee shop outside of the security gates as long as we could. Once we passed through, we had no idea how long it would be before we saw any of them again.
Even as much as we tried to keep the conversation light and airy, it still descended into tears and sadness several times. I even saw Carlisle dab his eye once or twice and thought about making a dust joke, but held my tongue.
When we could wait no longer, we all stood and hugged each other tightly. I kissed Jasper harder and longer than I could remember, then watched as Edward did the same, not a care in the world about who was watching.
"I can't watch you walk through security," Jasper said, his voice almost a whisper.
"I can't watch you walk away from here," I cried, the tears flowing even faster. I needed as much time as I could have with him, even if it was just my eyes resting on his body.
"Baby, I can't. It's already killing me. Please," he begged.
Edward squeezed my hand and I kissed Jasper softly one last time.
"We'll be all together again soon, right?" I looked up into his eyes and asked.
"I'm going to go to the apartment and look up our schedules, plan my first trip to Chicago. As soon as I can get back to you two, I'll be there."
Edward moved around me and rested his forehead on Jasper's, one last quick kiss exchanged between them. "Take care of my girl," Edward said to him.
"You do the same with our girl," Jasper replied, his voice cracking.
It was my turn to squeeze Edward's hand, my silent signal that it was now or never. We had to walk through the gates before I changed my mind, dropped out of school and begged him to do the same.
"I love you," I whispered to Jasper. "I'll see you soon."
I turned my body and waited for Edward to do the same, doing my best to give Jasper permission to walk away and leave. Once Edward turned, we got in line. I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on for dear life, moving only when the line moved and he pressed my body backward.
~-~
Leaving Jasper was the hardest thing I'd ever done. I had been wrong all those months I told the boys it was easier for them because they had each other. The time Edward and I were without Jasper was pure fucking torture. Every time I saw Edward, it reminded me of Jasper being gone, and I knew he felt the same.
Everything was miserable. The bed felt too big. The table too empty. The shower taunted and mocked me every god damn morning. Even the coffee pot somehow reminded me of Jasper. He had no time to come back to Chicago for a visit anytime soon, practice occupying every day of his schedule. He said he'd get a break soon, though, and we would for sure see him for each of our graduations (Edward's in June, mine in May), plus Match Day in March. We hadn't even had time to use our webcams yet, but I was actually grateful for that, unsure of how I would react when I saw Jasper for the first time since we'd separated.
We kept in touch via text and email, but it wasn't the same. I was talking to Alice every day and she was doing what she could. Rose, Emmett, and she had Jasper over for dinner several times and helped him acclimate to Seattle. I trusted Alice implicitly. I had seen how in love she was with Rose and Emmett, but I could also see and appreciate her friendship with Jasper. Alice sent me photos of Avery and told me stories of Jasper holding her and how comfortable he'd gotten over the last few days, but I noticed and was thankful that she avoided sending me photos of Jasper with the baby.
After two weeks of passing each other briefly, sharing a bed sometimes, and talking even less, I finally saw Edward for more than five minutes. It was, as everything else, blissful and painful.
On my way home from class, I'd been pondering which of the leftovers in the fridge I'd grab and inhale before an early bedtime. I had taken to sleeping more than usual, the stress of classes and life overwhelming me. He'd picked up extra shifts to repay a few favors he'd called in to get extra time at Christmas, and he looked like a shell of himself.
Instead, I was surprised to walk into the kitchen and see candles lit the table and our normally naked tabletop had a beautiful cream cloth over it. On top of it were two plates, two wine glasses filled with a deep burgundy-colored liquid, silverware and water glasses, just like at a fancy restaurant. My eyes moved to the stove and there were several covered pots and pans.
"Hi," I said softly to him as I smiled.
Some part of me felt like this romantic overture was somehow cheating on Jasper, but that was silly. Hadn't Edward and I been together many times while Jasper lived here? Hadn't Edward and Jasper been together? I'd never have accused them of cheating on me....
"Hey."
Edward picked up the tiny remote and turned the iHome on, soft music whispering through the living room. He walked to me and took me in his arms. We didn't begin to dance immediately, we simply stood and held each other, held ourselves together.
"I know it's tough, love. We can't just shut down, though. When you were gone, apart from us, it was awful. Neither of us knew what to do, but we made it work. We have to figure out how to make it work or it will tear us apart."
"Was it this hard for you two?"
I couldn't hold the tears in any longer. The fat, wet tears fell onto Edward's shoulder and I watched as they soaked in and darkened his scrub top.
"Yes."
He was succinct in his answer, but it wasn't what I wanted to hear. I didn't want to know or believe that I had put them through this kind of pain.
"I'm sorry," I whispered.
They were the only two words I could manage to get out, and I hoped they were enough. Edward's arms wrapped tighter around me and he held me as I let go. Held me up, held me together, held my heart gently when I was sure it wouldn't beat anymore.
"Don't be. You were worth every second of heartache and patience required. Just like Jasper is."
His hands were running soothing patterns on my back and he was humming softly along with the music. Once I had cried myself out, he nuzzled his nose into my neck and kissed softly. He was treading lightly and I was grateful, still so unsure of myself. Of us. "Us" in every permutation.
"Edward..."
I took a deep breath. What I wanted and needed to talk about wasn't an ideal conversation to have even with the three of us around, much less with Jasper missing. His hands skimmed up my back and into my hair, his upper arms keeping me close to him.
"We need to talk."
The words felt raw in my throat. I had been rolling this problem around in my head for weeks, months at this point. I tried to talk to Alice, Victoria, even a classmate of mine. No one had the right answer for me, and I realized that was the problem – I was seeking answers from people other than those who mattered most to me.
Jasper had a game that night, so I knew we couldn't call him, but I felt like I was falling apart at the seams. I needed to talk to one of them about it and reassure myself that things would be okay, so I snuggled my nose into Edward's chest, took his hand into mine, and led him to the bedroom.
Needing us to be bare, as close as we could be, and open, I slowly stripped away my clothes. It didn't matter that neither of us had eaten dinner, or that the candles were surely burned out by now. Edward kept his eyes on me as I removed my clothes, then carefully and lovingly did the same for him.
My head knew the man before me would support me in what I was about to reveal, but my heart panicked. Edward was about to transition into his residency, then become what I was sure would be a successful doctor. Jasper was already a successful soccer player, and they each had family money. Reminding myself of these facts only made my heart race.
"Lay down with me, please?"
It was a slightly irrational request; we had just walked into the bedroom, then I stripped us each of our clothing, but I was working my way up to the longer, more important sentences slowly.
Edward crawled beneath the down comforter we had on the bed and wrapped me in his arms. My back laid against his chest, his chin on my shoulder as we half-reclined together, propped up by pillows. I rested my head against his and struggled for the words I needed.
"Is it about us?" Edward asked softly.
"No, God no." My breath shuddered out of me just at the thought. "I feel so stupid bringing it up, actually. You're so busy with these last months of school, and we'll finally find out about your matches soon, it's just …."
Shifting my body so I could turn and look at him, I took his face between my palms. I kissed his lips softly with mine, even though they were sticky and felt thick from the crying. My forehead rested on his, and I felt his hands at my waist, pulling me on top of him.
Our bodies were naked, centimeters apart, but this was one of the first times we needed the intimacy of closeness without the connection that sex brought. Neither of us was turned on, but the palpable need was there for each of us.
"Just tell me. Whatever it is, Bella, we can work through it or figure it out. I can help make it better for you."
As he spoke, Edward's hands were touching me, my shoulders, my collarbone, my face. His warm hands trailed lines of love and support everywhere. His knuckles crisscrossed over my chest, grazing my nipples, and I sighed. It was another moment not of sexual stimulation, just his hands wandering familiar paths on my body.
"I love you both so much. I feel like such a failure. I told Charlie I was moving here so I could specialize in teaching law, but that wasn't the truth. Now I feel like he'll find out and be even more angry with me, because I don't know if I want to practice law at all anymore."
The fat tears were back and I cursed them as they fell on my chest. Edward's thumbs came to my cheeks, wiping away the lines of salty sadness.
"That's it?" he questioned.
My eyebrows met in the middle of my forehead.
"No, no. I don't mean to diminish the difficulty in you telling me, I just mean... I mean, God, Bella, I was so fucking worried you were going to tell me you found someone else, or... or... I don't even fucking know."
He let out a large gasp of a breath and I leaned into him. Now, not only are we both missing Jasper like crazy, I was apparently creating extra drama.
"I just, you're going to do such good things, and Jasper has his great career, and I feel like such a fucking failure. What the hell did I spend the last eight years of my life doing? If I decide not to be a lawyer, am I disappointing my mom?"
I groaned and nuzzled closer to him, needing to escape.
"You spent the last eight years of your life getting several steps closer to figuring out who you are. This isn't an easy time, Bella. Jasper's gone, we're moving, getting married, everything is in a state of flux. Don't panic, baby, it'll be okay. We'll get to Washington, you can take all the time you need to figure things out. You know Jasper and I have plenty of resources for the three of us. We'll need someone to help set up the house and such, so maybe you can focus on that for a bit while you try to figure it all out. Either way, there's no pressure to do anything because we don't love you for being a lawyer – just like you don't love us for our professions. We love you because you're the most kind-hearted, beautiful, caring, loving, warm, and wonderful person. I think I can safely speak for Jasper when I say we want you to be happy – whatever that means."
His nails were lightly scratching up and down my back and I nearly began to purr at the sensation. I fell asleep lying on top of him and slept the best I had since we'd been back in Chicago.
A/N2: I'm going to be a nag here, I hope you don't mind. We're winding down, I know I keep saying that, but it's true. By my calculations, we've got four or five chapters left, depending on how long-winded I get in some of them. I'd love to see this story break a reviews-per-chapter record before it ends. Maybe you leave me some love to help with that personal goal?
If you want to see the earrings Esme and Carlisle gave to Bella, they are on my LJ page, which is linked from my profile.