May 2002

Something broke between Phoebe and Chandler the day Chandler had run out on Monica before their wedding a year earlier. Everyone else forgave him. Everyone else just moved on. Even Monica just forgave him. Phoebe couldn't seem to move past it. It was such a breach, she felt. They had been through so much, so much crap and she had trusted him so much. She had been abandoned so many times in her life. People promising they would never leave and then suddenly they were gone. Her mom was dead and she didn't speak with her biological mom anymore as she had moved to Cabo to teach pottery to the locals. Her step dad was still in prison and she had not spoken to her father since that brief moment they shared years earlier. They had abandoned her. Duncan had also abandoned her and to some extent, so had Leslie.

She thought Chandler would never be that type. She thought he would never break that promise but he did and he kept breaking it. He had ruined three birthdays, sure her thirty fourth birthday came and went without a hitch and Chandler was trying. He was clean, he looked and seemed healthy, but Phoebe could not bring herself to trust him again completely. Maybe that's why she had thought introducing Monica to Don had been a good idea. She had gone out with Don, a British foodie and he reminded Phoebe of a male Monica. Phoebe had loudly declared, in front of Chandler, that Don was Monica's soul mate. She knew she was hurting Chandler by discussing this, purposely causing him to feel insecure and freak out. Monica was furious when she had found out what Phoebe had told Chandler. She had told Phoebe that she had to spend twenty minutes calming Chandler down after the whole Don incident. Chandler didn't talk to Phoebe about it at all. He never told her he was hurt or upset with her for it. Phoebe knew he wouldn't but when she invited him to go to lunch at their favorite pizza place and he declined, she knew she caused the rift to grow between them and she wasn't sure how they would ever get back to where they once were.

Now, there they all were at the hospital, while Rachel was in labor. It had been the longest pregnancy in the world and had truly felt like Rachel had been pregnant for a year. Phoebe, Joey, Chandler and Monica were waiting, sitting for any news from Ross on where Rachel was with giving birth. As they were waiting though, there was an underlining tension. While it wasn't so visible that it was obvious to anyone walking by, it was still there.

"I'm getting a soda," Joey said.

"Me too. You want anything, Mon? A Baby Ruth?" Chandler asked, grinning. Monica let out a snort. Earlier, there had been a moment, a break in the tension when Monica thinking she would freak Chandler out, told him she wanted a baby and he did not have the response she was expecting.

"Get away from me," Monica joked.

"Dude, I'm bored. I'll race you to the vending machines," Joey said.

"Joe, you're thirty four...that is so-" Chandler began before taking off running. Joey's mouth dropped.

"Your husband's a dead man," Joey said as he ran off after Chandler. Monica let out a laugh. Phoebe turned back to read her magazine.

"Pheebs...why do you hate my husband?"

"What?" Phoebe asked, a little taken aback by that. She looked up from the magazine article she was reading and looked at Monica, confused. Where the hell had that come from?

"You and Chandler. Why do you hate him?"

Phoebe let out an annoyed sigh and rolled her eyes. She was in no mood to discuss Chandler, none at all.

"I apologized for the soulmate thing. It was stupid. Let's move on."

"I know...it's just...you two used to be really close. So close that I thought you guys were dating when you first moved in. He still won't tell me if you dropped that plate of spaghetti on my couch on purpose or by accident."

Phoebe smiled, remembering the Thanksgiving she and Chandler has spent together in the apartment while Ross, Carol, Monica and Kip had gone to Monica and Ross' parent's house for Thanksgiving. They had made such a mess and Phoebe had accidentally dropped an entire plate of spaghetti on the couch. It had been such an amazing day. They had ended it by swimming in a fountain. It made her sad to think those days were gone.

"It was an accident," Phoebe grinned.

"Sure it was."

"Alright, Mon...let me ask you...do you forgive him?" Phoebe asked, closing her magazine.

"For what?"

"For running out the day of your wedding? We spent three months helping him through drug withdrawals...for the second time-"

"It was the third time for Ross and I," Monica said.

"Yeah...you forgive him?" Phoebe asked.

"Yes."

"You were planning a wedding at the same time your fiancee was recovering a serious addiction and then he vanishes the day of the wedding. You still forgive him?" Phoebe asked.

"Yep," came Monica's response.

"How?" Phoebe asked.

"Because I know him. I mean, yes...I was really hurt when I found out he did that and how I found out was humiliating. I'm standing there at the altar and then Joey makes some flippant comment about Chandler running off...it was awful, but...I don't think I can do better than him. Yeah, that Don guy was fantastic. You're right, he was the male version of me... but I like that Chandler isn't like me. I love that. I love that he can calm me down and that knows exactly what to say or do. I love that we both work so hard to make this marriage work and it's working. Really well," Monica said.

"But-"

"Yes, he ran off. But I look at it like he was so afraid of our marriage failing that it freaked him out. He didn't run because he was afraid of commitment. He didn't run off because he didn't wanna marry me. This wasn't like Barry and Rachel. He ran off because losing me would be too much for him and in a sick, twisted way...it's kinda sweet."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He'd rather be in control of losing me and deal with the fall out from that rather than me just one day decide to leave him and then him having to figure it out. Is it messed up...G-d, yes. But I get it and I understand him and don't worry...when we got back to the honeymoon suite, we fought about him running out. We did. We fought...and then you know, I gave him a little spanking and we had a lovely time," Monica said, smiling.

"Ooooo, Mon. Kinky."

"He deserved it."

"Didn't know you two had it in you."

"Pheebs, he's the son of drag queen and an erotic novelist. He may not be exactly like his parents. He can be wild. But he's my husband and you're my best friend and it kills me to see your friendship just deteriorate and I know it kills him. After that whole Don thing, he even asked me why you hated him that much."

"He did?" Phoebe asked.

"He really thinks you hate him, Pheebs. He thinks the reason you introduced me to Don was because you actually wanted me to fall in love with Don and divorce him. I mean, he's not gonna come right out and tell you...but yeah, he is convinced you hate him."

That broke her heart. The last thing she wanted was for Chandler to feel like she hated him. That wasn't it at all. She let out a sigh as Chandler and Joey walked back, tossing something back and forth. As they got closer, Phoebe realized they were tossing a doll they had apparently gotten from the gift shop and were tossing it back and forth like a football while eating candy bars.

"Seriously?" Monica asked.

"What? Does this freak you out?" Chandler asked, grinning. "Joe, go long."

"Yeah, baby," Joey said backing up as Chandler tossed the doll towards him. Joey jumped up to catch it but lost his footing on the way down and ended up falling backwards into a nurse who looked pissed off.

"This is why we don't play in the halls," Chandler said.

"Boys, sit," Monica said.

Chandler and Joey sheepishly walked back to their seats and sat down. They still kept tossing the doll back and forth. Phoebe felt sad, very sad. She wanted to forgive Chandler. She desperately wanted to move on, but she couldn't figure out how to do it. Every single time she tried, she just kept thinking about how he left.

"I'm gonna get coffee. Chandler, you wanna come with me?" Phoebe asked.

"No, I'm okay. But thanks," Chandler said, smiling at her as Joey tossed the doll at his head. "Dude...gentle. Right, Mon."

"Yes," Monica rolled her eyes.

Phoebe felt like a jerk. She wanted to talk to him, wanted to explain herself but he wouldn't give her the chance. It was almost as if he was afraid to be alone with her.

"Chandler, honey, I'd like coffee. Can you get me some?" Monica asked. Phoebe smiled a little as Chandler looked from Monica to Phoebe and back at Monica.

"Sure, babe...Joe, you wanna come with me and get coffee?" Chandler asked

Phoebe let out a snort. She was starting to feel angry.

"Chandler, I would like to talk to you. Alone. Without Joey or Monica. Can we talk?"

"I...I don't really wanna talk to you...or talk...I don't...I just..." Chandler said.

"Wow, this more awkward than the time I professed my love to Rachel." Joey said.

"You know what...Joey, let's you and I get coffee and leave these two alone," Monica asked.

"Alright," Joey said getting up. He and Monica walked off leaving Phoebe and Chandler alone. Phoebe was staring at Chandler who picked up the doll and began tossing it and catching it in the air.

"I don't hate you, Chandler."

"I know."

"I am also sorry about the Don, soul mate. I didn't mean to activate your insecurities."

"I know."

"Please talk to me."

"About what, Pheebs?" Chandler asked as he stopped tossing the doll in the air and placed it in the seat next to him, "I have apologized a lot. I have spent the last year apologizing. I have not had a single drink or a single drug in a year. I know I acted like a complete ass last year but I do not think I need to apologize for it for the rest of my life."

"You abandoned me."

"When?"

"When you walked out before your wedding-"

"I walked out on Monica. I wasn't abandoning you and if Monica can forgive me-"

"You don't get it. If you had walked out...if we hadn't of found you, you would be walking out on all of us. Not just Monica and...I mean...I just never thought you'd be that guy and I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the Don, soul mate thing but I don't know how," Phoebe said.

"I don't know what else to say...although that soul mate thing really hurt. You wanted Monica and I to get together. You want us to divorce now, too?"

"No. I was angry...I'm sorry, Chandler. I don't hate you."

"Then you gotta start being nicer to me," Chandler said. "I mean, you used to be nicer to me."

"Okay but then if you start to freak...please tell me. Don't run off again...please?"

"I'm not. I won't."

"You know...I think you'll make a great dad," Phoebe said.

Chandler let out a snort as he looked at the doll again, spinning it around in the seat.

"Please."

"No, I'm serious. You'll be a great dad. I mean, you'll know what not to do. You'll be there."

"I hope. Although...I think I'll be great uncle."

"Definitely can see that."

Chandler and Phoebe smiled at each other but did not get up to hug each other. Phoebe had tried and so had he. Perhaps there was no turning back now. They would never get to where they once were.

When Emma Geller-Green was finally brought into the world, Phoebe as well as the others could not wait to see her. It had been quite possibly the longest labor in the world which had come after the longest pregnancy in the world. Rachel was absolutely thrilled to no longer be pregnant and looked truly exhausted as Emma was passed around. When Phoebe held her, she could feel tears in her eyes. Emma was beautiful, a perfect mixture of Ross and Rachel. She had Ross' big brown eyes, Rachel's lips and perfect constantly tanned skin. Chandler was standing by her while Phoebe held Emma. He gently placed his arms around her shoulders. She smiled at him. He kept staring at his niece as Phoebe gently handed Emma to Chandler.

"Hey, little Emma. I'm your Uncle Chandler. I will be the best uncle ever. I swear...when your parents and aunt Monica drive you nuts, you find me, kid."

"Oh, G-d...our child is gonna cover our cars with peanut butter," Rachel grinned.

"No, no...I'll start her off small. Little pranks. Like whoopie cushions and stuff. The big pranks will come later," Chandler said.

"She'll be lucky," Rachel said.

"You're gonna be a great uncle," Phoebe said.

"And a fantastic father," Monica said.

"Really?" Rachel asked, looking from Monica to Chandler.

"Seriously?" Ross asked.

"Yeah...Mon and I are gonna start trying," Chandler said, "we're gonna give you a cousin, Emma."

Phoebe gently rubbed Chandler's back as he kept staring at Emma. They all were. There was something about the way he was staring at his niece, so filled with love.

"Monica's right. You're gonna be an amazing father, Chandler," Rachel said.

"Thanks. Wow, she's gorgeous. Thank G-d, she only takes after Rachel," Chandler grinned as he gently handed Emma back to Rachel. It was one of those moments Phoebe loved. A moment they all loved when it was just the six of them, although now it was seven.