Nope, I'm not dead, a little overwhelmed but not zombie-fied yet.
I'm sure a lot of you were wondering if I'd dropped this story regardless of how many times I've assured to the contrary before this. well, now you know. I'm not giving up. Life just keeps getting in the way.
For Example: last time I posted I let you all know I was going on my first vacation of my adult life. A cruise and a train ride and two whole weeks off from the job I was planning to quit. Well, I did go on that vacation, but two days before I was planning to leave town, I received an e-mail from my UNCLE that they wanted me out of the house I'd been renting from them two weeks after I got back from vacation.
So I left for vacation a day later than planned and spent that day apartment hunting. I came back to town two days early to again hunt for a new place to live. I finally found a place the week after my vacation putting my move-in date at April ninth. I called to let my Aunt know and she told me my uncle could maybe help me move. I had to pack up my stuff around my Aunt and Uncle's stuff while still working full time second shift. Two weeks before I moved I gave up my dog. that was sad, but better for her - being a German shepherd husky mix, she needed a big yard. Something I would never get with an apartment. Easter weekend I had to go in to work. The following week my Uncle showed up to do work on the house around me still trying to pack and I find out that he can't help me move, so I have to find somebody to help me move. I also found out I own more of the furniture in the house than I knew about. (don't ask) I moved that weekend and spent the following week unpacking and settling in. and I ran out of steam about half way through that week. I barely made it through that weekend and the following week was the mandatory company picnic - and I mean mandatory. I went out of town to do my laundry and get the necessary roll of quarters to do laundry the next time around...and that brings us to May 1st. A Saturday that I had to work - again.
So really, life got in the way. And with the way they're talking at work, it's going to continue to do so as it sounds like weekend work might end up being mandatory every week from here on out. And before anybody asks, no I didn't quit, and since I had to sign a year lease I'm not going to quit before I have something lined up to replace it. le sigh.
In the meantime, Rumiko Takahashi will have to suffer through the delays like all the rest of you. I'm not giving her any sneak peaks regardless of the fact that she created the original material...she's just jealous that Akemi's mine.
Fluttering Beneath the Surface
Sesshoumaru had never truly believed the old adage that good things come to those who wait.
Experience had taught him such was often not the case at a very young age. Disappointment had been inadvertently incorporated into his early education and had lead to some sizable degree of his frustrated anger with his father. Thus he had learned to never sit back and wait for things to come to him if there was anything he could possibly do to hurry the pace of desired events.
It was a fairly productively proactive form of impatience that the Inu no Taishou had never found cause to object to. Mainly because the old dog had mistaken it for other things that seemed to fit what the Taishou had thought appropriate for the individual situations. And, so far as the cardinal lord was concerned, so long as nothing Sesshoumaru did was ill-suited for the position his father desired him to fill it was unimportant.
It was the Taishou's earliest and most flagrant proof of neglect when it came to the son he had so wronged when it really mattered.
The only good thing about this particular set of incorrect assumptions the Inu no Taishou had made was that Sesshoumaru never really expected anything to his way without much effort on his part, and he never felt entitled to anything he wanted unless he had worked hard for it.
So he wasn't truly surprised that Akemi didn't come find him the moment she returned from her latest foray into the society that stood as such a danger to her. Despite knowing she was aware of his anxiety level at all times, Akemi avoided establishing any kind of routine that could be followed or adhered to. Running to him immediately upon her arrival after every trip would have negated all of that as Sesshoumaru was always stuck in the same room with the same fools disrespectfully wasting his time and driving him up the walls.
If Sesshoumaru could arrange it, he would try to meet her car the moment it drove onto the property, but things never seemed to work out that way. He seldom got away from the incompetent males before Akemi's escort came to inform them all of their alpha's safe return. Then the males would break the chains that held their resentment of this whole process and begin to verbally abuse the mere idea of a female alpha of such Feral persuasion holding the most senior position of a pack that shouldn't even exist in their eyes.
Such talk always lead to a most unproductive and ever unending argument between what females of the broken pack were present and the males stupid enough to prolong the exchange. By the time the altercation dissolved into the uncouth exchange of actual blows, Sesshoumaru would tire of it and firmly dismiss all the fools present before attending to his secretly urgent need to locate his alpha and mate.
Such was the same upon this day, despite how cheerful and unusually fresh-faced Morenda and Sango appeared. Something had obviously given them a great deal of amusement on their joint endeavor to protect his female in his absence. While this caused him to relax somewhat knowing their moods would not be so light if something untoward had happened, nothing could compare with ascertaining such in person or dampen his need to see for himself that Akemi was returned to them in one piece and good health.
It was after he had scoured every room, hall, and bathroom of the mansion that Sesshoumaru first entertained the surprising notion that Akemi had skipped the main house altogether. Akemi had never done that before regardless of just how reasonable it would have been for her to do so.
Sesshoumaru was one of the very few to know that these little trips off the Taishou holdings left Akemi extremely tense. So tense that she often suffered from muscle cramps that seemed to be increasing in severity with each new trip, not that she ever complained about the discomfort.
Akemi never complained of anything, and sometimes Sesshoumaru was certain she suffered from more than just the muscle cramps he knew about.
It had taken awhile, but Sesshoumaru had eventually remembered every nuance and feeling that pertained to the day Akemi had marked him. He remembered the moment of extreme pain the preceded his black out, and he still couldn't figure out where such a feeling had come from.
More than that, he remembered the few words Akemi had spoken that first night Sesshoumaru brought her out of the wilds. There had to be a reason surviving a pregnancy to term was such a chancy thing. Something beyond the simple dangers of stepping outside of some hidden den. And he knew that Akemi suffered some pain from the constant exposure to Kikyou's reiki, lodged under her skin as it was.
He was still certain there was more to it, something that he was missing.
Sadly there was no way for Sesshoumaru to know for sure. Akemi's control had never wavered even once, to his conscious knowledge. She kept her scent hidden at all times, even inside their private den when they retired of an evening. Her youki was still something of a mystery, for while she still kept it under tighter reins than any other youkai he'd ever met, he could feel hers now through the bond they shared. Despite that, he still couldn't use it to locate her any more than he could before beyond a vague notion of proximity and that only when he concentrated to an extreme degree.
Luckily, once he entered the environs of Kagome's ever present barrier surrounding the house he built so long ago there were few places to check into for his alpha. The house was a great deal smaller than the manse he had been raised in, and even in its smaller size there were a number of rooms Akemi never showed any interest in, there being nothing contained therein to draw her attention to them. They were merely empty spaces that served her no purpose.
When Rin and Shippou had joined their pack, each had attained a room for themselves though neither seemed to spend much time in their assigned quarters. Rin was always up at the main house helping in the way that only a child can help, by showing her strength and independence as a female. She was well-loved in the broken pack and often treated as some female or other's darling of an evening, instigating laughter and smiles at nearly all times.
Shippou had not found so great a welcome and instead spent his time trying to keep Miroku's mischievous son away from the Broken Pack as much as possible. The little kitsune was especially fit for this task as the only other place the boy was likely to go offered the danger of encountering some wild youkai or random Feral, and having a fellow along that could work illusion, even rudimentary illusions of the kits skill level, was a good ally to have along for such an excursion. It didn't hurt that Shippou's timid nature often made him unwilling to go in that direction much of the time curtailed most of the trouble Hiro usually got into. Having another boy around also made Hiro more determined to leave his younger sisters out of it.
That is, except when the kitsune attended Akemi off the grounds in Sesshoumaru's place. Surprisingly enough, it had been the kit's idea to stand in for the older male. Shippou was apparently well educated in the duties of all members of a pack, and being around Akemi, Sesshoumaru was sure the kit would learn even more. Truly, any youkai child exposed to Akemi would benefit in richer pack bonds for the rest of their lives.
Something to ponder at a later date, for now he'd rather find his alpha and relieve Shippou of his charge. This was the first time Akemi had skipped checking on her pack before seeking the refuge of their den. He needed to know why.
Sesshoumaru found them in the bathroom, preparing to step into the oversized tub basin after a fresh scrubbing. Shippou stood to the side, holding Akemi's hand to help steady her under the added bulk of the pups.
Silently Sesshoumaru stepped forward to take her other hand and help lower the burdened female into the soothing waters collected in the tub.
"There you are," Shippou observed mildly. "Did you get lost?" It was a valid question to the kit's mind. By his perception, the inu had taken far too long, but then, the perception of the young is often skewed against the true passage of time.
"The fools who wish to court our pack," Sesshoumaru responded shortly. He didn't bother to add any further explanation knowing the kit's opinion of the males that took his class was lower than his own. "They would not accept their limited progress is due only to their own faults."
"Bakas," Shippou sniffed, quietly disdainful as his timidity did not allow for louder censure of any adult that could come back and get him. The buoyancy of Rin set free of the hospital combined with the irreverence of Hiro could only influence him so much on so short an acquaintance. Particularly when it was countered by spending time with two such quiet youkai as Sesshoumaru and Akemi.
"They made no progress again?" Akemi inquired evenly.
"They do not listen," Sesshoumaru answered her.
"Bakas," Shippou reiterated feelingly. The older youkai's frustration rubbing off on the younger. "If they're not gonna listen why do they bother to show up?"
Akemi carefully settled into the embrace of the hot water and glanced up at the kit who remained standing outside of it. "Non-ferals do not seem to understand very basic things," she answered him. "They believe that a problem will disappear if they do not pay too much attention to it. They feel they did not cause the issue, therefore they should not have to work to solve and overcome them. They simply want the benefit of having it all fixed without them," She studied Shippou carefully, wondering if he would understand what she was trying to impart to him or if he was already ruined for this lesson. "Until they step past this and realize that they will never connect with the females they aim for until they assume the responsibility of modifying their own behavior to accommodate the new special needs of their desired ones."
Shippou nodded, "Like you taking in Rin despite not being the one responsible for her parents death."
Akemi pondered him a moment before responding, "Anyone could have taken her in," the Feral realized he had purposely chosen to use an example that wasn't his own. "Taking a child in is not the whole of the solution."
Shippou blinked at her in confusion.
"If one of those males had chosen to shelter Rin," Akemi modified his example, "they would've denied her the moments to mourn her loss, for she could have no reason to mourn her parent's death if she has new guardians and a new home."
Shippou's eyes widened, "That's not right."
"This is where they go wrong," Akemi nodded. "They assume that if they could only become mated everything else will fall into place. The females will not longer feel wary of them and they themselves will know precisely how best to care for their females." She shook her head wearily, "Perhaps this would be true for others, but my each member of my Pack has special needs, and I will not release my responsibility over any of them unless I feel they will be content with their lot."
Shippou nodded, fully understanding her feelings on the subject. "They're still bakas," the kit asserted once again before turning to exit the bathroom in search of his regular cohorts, Rin or Hiro, to share his new knowledge of grown up stupidity.
Akemi stared after the young male thoughtfully before glancing up at her mate as he carefully entered the waters to join her. "So you are not born with this innate blindness," she observed.
Sesshoumaru blinked at her before considering her statement before it occurred to him that she was including him in her observation. "Am I like them?"
"You have your moments," she nodded mellowly. "You are not so given to willful denial as they are, but there are somethings you do not see. But this is also something many of the Pack also do not see. I believe it to be a trait of non-Ferals, though it might be a skill singular to me as I have not a wide range of Ferals to draw knowledge from. We are solitary creatures, isolated by the very instincts that help us survive. Females only tolerate other females when we have to. Perhaps this is the source of your blindness, a social survival method to retain sanity while keeping constant close company with others."
Sesshoumaru weighed her words, perceiving their value before issuing an opinion of his own. "I would not know what to assign as the cause of what you are perceiving being unable to perceive the whole of it myself, but I do not think it is simply remaining among others that causes it. If it did, those two successful males would not have been able to provide for the needs of their respective females." The inu slid closer to his alpha before she reached out to pull his hand over the bump that cradled their pups. A few weeks back the first of the pups kicked at the womb walls while she was in a doctor's appointment and Sesshoumaru had missed it. He'd been so upset for missing it that Akemi had made certain to reach for him at the first hint of movement ever since.
The corner of Sesshoumaru's lips curled up in an unconscious smile of pride and joy before he resumed his speech. "Part of the problem with the males seeking to court the Broken Pack, is that they are from the higher ranks of society. They have been groomed to assume positions of power and many of them were raised to shoulder responsibilities that are handed to them without their choice." Sesshoumaru leaned in closer to press his ear to the bump to check on the heart rate of his pups and mate.
"We are fine," Akemi's hand swept gently through his dampening hair. "That might play a part of it," she acknowledged his suggestion. "But I have not experience enough to decide such."
"It doesn't matter," Sesshoumaru dismissed the issue. "All that matters is whether or not, you and the pups remain healthy."
Akemi gazed down at him, "More matters than that. But for now, this is all that we can know anything certain of for now."
Sesshoumaru leaned up to kiss his mate before settling in for a long soak in the tub.