Telling someone you love them doesn't save you from embarrassing situations.
Bella and I were working on cleaning out one of the guest bathrooms today and she stumbled upon a few boxes of…questionable products.
At first I was just embarrassed when she opened up the one box and found it full with three dozen bottles of assorted lubes. I was mortified when she opened up the second box and found countless packages of condoms. And when she opened that third box and found the dozen Trojan Vibrating Twisters in there…yeah, I just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
I guess Bella finally figured out I was embarrassed when she heard me banging my head against the wall. She tried to comfort me and tell me it was okay and that she wasn't judging me based on her findings, but nothing worked.
I was completely lost in my mind thinking she was going to see me as some sort of sex freak. It was only what she said next that caught my attention.
"Ooh Edward look…these condoms glow in the dark…that could be fun to play with, especially if we add in that cherry flavored lube and one of those vibrators you have…" her words trailed off as she approached and wrapped her arms around me.
"What do you think Edward," she asked, her voice thick with lust. "I think it could be fun…you, me, and a few of these items of yours locked away somewhere for a weekend? Could be fun don't you think?"
Just the thought of her, me, and flavored lube had me ready to claim her like a feral animal. Before I knew what I was doing, my hands were gripping her hips and I had her pinned against the wall, the bulge in my pants rocking against her center.
"I think it's a perfect idea Bella," I growled out as I kissed and nipped my way along her neck. "Whatever you have planned this weekend cancel it. I want to take you away. Just you and me and whatever it is in those boxes that you want to bring. No interruptions, just us."
"Mmm, I like the sound of that Edward," she moaned in response, her hips moving to meet mine in their movements. "I'll clear my schedule and we can leave Friday evening."
I was getting lost in the sensations she was causing as she rocked against me and began to lean in to kiss her, but all my lips were met with was the cool tile that was on the wall of the bathroom as Bella deftly moved out from under my grasp.
"Now," she said, her voice much stronger despite the flush that graced her cheeks. "Let's get back to work so we can enjoy our weekend."
And with that she went right back to sorting through the boxes of things that filled the bathroom, although I did note the special care with which she placed our "fun" boxes aside so that they wouldn't accidentally be discarded.
I wanted to pout and argue, especially considering the fact that I was quite certain that the next time I saw my balls they would be a distinct shade of blue, but I also didn't want to run the risk of doing something that would cause them to stay that shade permanently so I did as I was told and after readjusting myself, went back to sorting out the bathroom, certain that my girlfriend would be the death of me.