Rhonda was huge. She towered over them menacingly.

"I would say 'holy cow', but that would be an insult to cows." Barry whispered.

"Who's talking?!" Rhonda snapped.

"Sorry, ma'am."

"You kids are to do what I say." Rhonda plopped herself in the chair. The class winced as her large belly rolls jiggled. The chair creaked ominously. "We're going to learn about why America is the best place in the world."

"Excuse me." Ramona said, putting her hand up.

"Who are you?"

"Ramona Belmonte."

"What?"

"We're kind of supposed to be learning about Math. We still have a full week of newer things to learn. I think there's two chapters left or something."

"Are you the teacher?" Rhonda growled.

"No, but-"

"Then be quiet, Miss Bell Monster."

"It's Belmonte…"

"America has the best things like McDonalds." Rhonda said, putting her feet up on the desk.

The class exchanged looks.

"Er, I don't really like to single out any one country as the best." Private said. "Also, I agree that McDonalds is good, but it's not healthy to have all the time. And they also have McDonalds in other countries."

A couple of kids murmured in agreement.

"Quiet!" Rhonda snapped. She pushed herself out of the chair and marched over to Private. "You really shouldn't badmouth the country you're in right now. You never know, maybe you'll convert to American."

"American isn't a religion." Allie stated. "And even if it was, the First Amendment protects freedom of religion so-"

"Quiet, you!" She huffed. "Pop quiz time."

"What?!"

"But we haven't done anything!"

"You can't give us a quiz on nothing!"

She ignored them and pulled out a stack of papers. She slammed the stack on Kenny's desk.

"You, Norwegian boy! Pass out these papers!"

Kenny blinked. "Uh, I-"

"Speak English!"

"Well-"

"No talking!"

Kenny sighed and started passing out the papers.

Barry's hand shot up. "Miss Rhonda, I think I speak for everyone when I say YOU'RE INSANE!"

"Do you shout often? You really need to see a doctor about that." Rhonda huffed.

"What is this?!" Allie yelped, looking at the quiz. "This isn't even about Math! How are we supposed to know what the best television show of the 1600s was? That's three hundred years earlier than when broadcast television started here."

"What is Robin Williams's greatest movie ever?" Private read. "I haven't seen his movies."

"That's a matter of personal opinion too." Ramona said. "And are we supposed to believe that you and Elvis went skiing together with Franklin D Roosevelt in 1941?"

"That's impossible." Allie said.

"Elvis was born in 1935 and we learned that Roosevelt died in 1945." One of the students said. "Back me up on this, Lee."

Lee scratched his head. "Yeah, Megan's right. Elvis had to have been less than ten years old. Roosevelt was pretty old by then."

"Yeah, there's also the fact that FDR contracted Polio in 1921, paralyzing him from the waist down and confining him to a wheelchair for the rest of his life." Allie said. "And I find it hard to believe you're anywhere close to being seventy. A paralyzed and very aged man, the president at the time mind you, going skiing with a kid less than ten years of age right after the Great Depression is very unlikely. All this together, plus the fact that World War II was going on and America became involved in 1941, tells me that you don't know your history and you're making this up because you are not competent enough to teach Math."

Everyone's jaws dropped.

Rhonda blew her nose into a tissue, crumpled it up, and threw it at Allie.

"EW!" Allie shouted, tossing it off of her. Private scooted his desk away from the tissue.

"You kids don't know anything." Rhonda said. "You weren't in the war."

"No, but my Great-Aunt's brother and best friend were." Lee said. "She told me stories about their experiences."

"We may not know everything, but we're learning enough to try to prevent history from repeating itself." Nicole said.

"Do you have a teaching degree?" Terrence asked.

"That is the smartest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth." Ramona said.

Terrence shrugged. "I just want to pass the class."

"Too bad!" Rhonda scowled. "You have five minutes to take the quiz. START!"

The class grumbled as they started writing.

Most of them had written random things. Ramona refused to do the quiz. Allie's pencil raced furiously across the paper.

"You, Bell Monster, why aren't you doing the quiz?"

"Belmonte. And it goes against my morals." Ramona said. "I would like to follow the lessons we're supposed to be doing."

"Well, you're just going to fail then." Rhonda scoffed. She took off her shoes and sat in the chair with her feet up on the desk.

Private gagged as a strong scent smacked his nose.

The rest of the class gagged and groaned as they smelled it too.

They had to listen to Rhonda singing for the rest of the class. "Take me out to the ballgame…" Her voice sounded like a cheese grater and nails performing a duet on a blackboard. She left the room for the last fifteen minutes of class.

Allie had been subjected to several tissues thrown at her.

Ramona stood up furiously and faced the class.

"Alright, who can't stand her?"

Everyone raised their hands.

"We have to do something." Ramona said. "We need to learn this stuff. We have a week of some new material, plus everything else we've learned this semester."

"I can help." Allie said. "My grades are pretty good."

"Mine too. There are some things I don't understand, but other things are okay." Private said.

"We'll cover each other's weak spots and help strengthen our knowledge." Barry said. "We'll do whatever we can to help."

"Can anyone help me?" Kenny asked.

"Hmm, do any of you have experience with Dyslexic kids?" Private asked.

The class shook their heads.

"I'll ask around." Private said.

"Me too!" Megan said. "We've all got to help each other."

"Should we complain about her?" A boy asked. "She called me something really nasty."

"What did she call you, Raj?" Allie asked.

Raj mumbled something and looked down at his desk.

"Was it mean?"

Raj nodded. "I don't feel like repeating it in the company of fellow sixth graders." Rhonda had whispered something to him and he had looked offended but she didn't care.

He sighed heavily. "But it was offensive."

"Whatever it was, they need to know." Ramona said. "She's not allowed to say anything offensive about anyone. Whatever opinions and biases she has, she should keep them to herself."

"Let's go to Mr. Taylor about this."

"Yeah!"

"That menace has to be stopped!"

"HOLD ON!" Private shouted.

The class stopped and directed the attention to him.

"What if we try to give her another chance? Maybe she was just having a rough day, I say three strikes and she's out." Private said.

"She threw tissues at me." Allie scowled.

"She called me something offensive!" Raj said.

"She doesn't want to correctly pronounce my last name at all." Ramona huffed.

"She didn't even let me speak." Kenny said.

"I'd say that's more than three strikes." Lee said.

Private sighed.

"And she hurt you too." Allie added. "Come on, we've all got to do something. We're Mr. Campbell's class. And what's one thing he's taught us?"

"Math?" Terrence suggested.

"Besides math." Allie said.

The class murmured and looked around.

"He taught us to be ourselves and never give up." She smiled at Kenny. "He's the teacher we're going to look back on in twenty years and say that he inspired us and he made a difference. He'll be the one we remember for a very long time."

"Alright." Private said. "Let's not say anything for now. I'll let Skipper know as soon as possible and then he can help us figure this out."

Everyone agreed.

…

During PE, the subject was brought to Skipper when the two classes had a soccer game between them.

Skipper sat out while Private switched with another student.

He explained everything to the leader. Kowalski had joined them and looked confused and disgusted.

"We don't know what to do now." Private said.

"Did you tell any of your teachers?" Skipper asked.

"No, but Allie agreed to create a group on Central Community that is just for our class. She's going to help us any way she can. We'd do something else, but I don't think her grandmother would appreciate twenty-seven kids, not counting Allie, running around her house." Private said.

"I can help if some of the students live in the apartments or if they want to come. I can open up my tutoring center for your class only." Kowalski said.

"But we need a room that can contain twenty-eight sixth graders and still have enough room to move around and help each other." Private said.

"Hmm…Let's wait and see. I want one of you to record everything she says and does. I'll ask Marlene to stop by your class." Skipper said.

Private nodded.

…

Private entered the classroom the next day to find most of the class gathered there. Lin offered to record the video since she was in the back of the class and less likely to be spotted. She hid the camera in the back of the room among other things. Allie had brought her camcorder just in case, and Private was recording things with his watch.

Rhonda burst in and glared at all of them.

"Congratulations, you all failed your quiz." She said dryly. She slammed papers on each of their desks.

"Why do I have Sophia's paper?" Lee asked.

"I have Barry's quiz." Allie said.

"Well, give them to the correct person…like I care…" Rhonda huffed.

The class switched papers with each other.

"Why did I get an F?" Lin asked.

"We all failed." Bailey said, looking around at other student's papers.

Raj was staring openmouthed at his paper. Private looked over at it and gasped.

"Miss Rhonda, that's going too far!" He said. "You can't say that and you can't fail us all!"

"I understand that you failed me for refusing to take a quiz, but in light of the situation I say it was undeserved." Ramona said.

"Shut up, Bell Monster!" Rhonda snarled. "You will all now listen to me sing. TAKE ME OUT TO THE BALLGAME!"

The students stood up and started shouting furiously, but she ignored them.

This went on for half the class until the door opened.

"Hi, I'm Marlene." Marlene said as she entered. "I'm here to see how everything's going."

"You don't work here." Rhonda said.

"No, but I am a pretty good student." Marlene answered. "And the Vice Principal listens to me."

"Why are you wearing a jacket? It's not winter."

"It was cold in my class." Marlene said. "I just wanted to see if the students are alright."

"We're not." Barry grumbled.

"Something is wrong with that kid." Rhonda said.

Barry looked offended. "There's nothing wrong with me!"

Ramona picked up Raj's paper and brought it to Marlene.

Marlene's eyes widened. "M-Miss Rhonda, this is…why would you put something like this on a child's test? And what are these questions supposed to be?" She looked at the substitute teacher.

"Hey, get me a tissue." Rhonda said.

Marlene rolled her eyes and grabbed the tissue box. "It was on your de-HEY!"

Rhonda grabbed her and blew her nose onto the jacket.

Everyone's jaws dropped.

"Gross! What the heck did you do that for?" Marlene said.

"Sorry, you look like a tissue."

Marlene shook her head.

"I'm taking this to the-" Marlene stopped. She sniffed the air.

The rest of the class started gagging, their eyes tearing up.

"AH!" Barry choked. "What…is…that?"

"I let one rip." Rhonda said. "I had beans for breakfast."

The class filed out hurriedly.

"Hey! Get back in here!"

…

Rhonda decided to leave for the last twenty minutes.

The students opened the windows and propped the door open as the smell wafted out.

Marlene said she'd take this to the Vice Principal, but stayed to supervise the class. She helped them with their work as they tried to teach themselves the lessons. Her jacket was discarded in the nearest dumpster, she said she had others and wasn't quite fond of that one anyway.

Both video recordings were given to Marlene to take up with the Principal and Vice Principal.

…

The next day was as terrible as the previous two. Marlene had promised to get on this as fast as possible. No one came in though; they assumed Marlene was trying to figure things out. Luckily, Rhonda took a nap and the kids were able to help each other.

Thursday was when something finally happened. Rhonda left halfway through the lesson without a word and they were left to their own devices.

The students were sitting in class and helping each other when the Principal entered. He saw Allie at the front of the class, trying to explain a problem further to the students.

"Hello, Mr. Taylor." Allie said.

"When I heard, I couldn't believe it." He said, shaking his head. "For three days, I received information that the entire class was absent."

"Oh, I guess she didn't take roll." Ramona said.

The class explained everything to Mr. Taylor.

"I'm very sorry about this." Mr. Taylor said. "I promised you a substitute and I guess I didn't get a good one. I tried my best, but I guess it wasn't perfect. I honestly have no idea what to do next; I obviously cannot leave a room of students alone. If you can teach your peers, I will try to look for someone to supervise."

"What about Rico?" Private asked. "Rico Blue is a TA for this period and he's taking Geometry."

"The teacher might need his TA."

"No, sir, because there are two TAs that period."

Mr. Taylor nodded. "Alright, I'll ask Mr. Blue how he feels about that."

…

When Rico first heard about this, he was shocked. He agreed to supervise the class. He hadn't been feeling well and missed Friday, but he was available for the last week before finals. He watched as Allie and Private took the reins and instructed the students. He put in his assistance when needed.

The Principal was trying to get to the bottom of the situation among the other things he had to do. Allie was getting tired, but tried her best with the students.

The last week, the class was uncharacteristically focused and determined. Even Barry, who had last semester complained about word problems, was completely silent and studious. Kenny worked with Private and they helped each other.

Even in other classes, teachers were asking why their students were acting differently. They would all reply that it was for Mr. Campbell.

…

Monday, the day before finals began, Rhonda returned.

Allie and Rico were in the middle of discussing one of the more difficult problems when she burst in.

"Get out of my seat." Rhonda scowled.

"No." Rico said. "You go."

"I'm the teacher." Rhonda said.

Rico stood up; he was slightly taller and gave off an air of annoyance. He glared at her.

"Want me to give you deten-what are you doing?"

Barry had stood up on his desk.

"Protesting you." He said in a strangely calm voice.

"You can't do that!"

"Yes we can." Ramona stood on her desk.

"For Mr. Campbell." Kenny said, climbing onto his desk.

"He cared about us." Lin said.

"He was fair." Lee said.

"He stayed on topic." Bailey said.

The three of them had climbed onto their desks, the rest of the class following suit.

"He's our teacher, not you." Private said.

"You didn't help us." Nicole said.

"You tore us down." Raj said.

"And we're not going to take it." Megan said.

"We're standing up against you." Terrence said.

"And you can't tear any of them down; you can't do anything harmful anymore." Allie said.

"GET DOWN!" Rhonda roared. She grabbed Barry and yanked him down.

Rico jumped forward and managed to catch Barry before his head could hit the floor.

Rhonda attempted to pull down the other students, but Barry got back on his desk.

"HEY! GET DOWN FROM THERE!"

"Ahem."

Rhonda turned around to see the principal with two security officers behind him.

"Get out of my school." Mr. Taylor said. "I believe the police will be here in a moment."

The officers dragged her out of the room.

"Is everyone okay?" The Principal asked.

"Yeah." Rico said.

The class got down from their desks.

"She shouldn't bother you anymore. That was bold, I'm proud of you." Mr. Taylor smiled and left the room.

The class cheered.

Allie laughed before trying to get their attention. "Alright guys, we still have a little more review."

A/N: Private: Yes, the title was basically taken from Invader Zim…

Skipper: The views of Rhonda expressed in this chapter are solely her own and do not reflect the views of the author or ourselves. We apologize if you were offended or put off.

Rico: Coming soon…chapter 40…

Kowalski: Incoming message from TK… Hey guys, sorry to have kept you waiting. I had to really focus on school, but now I'm finished and should be able to upload more often this summer. I know this story seems to be focusing more on Private's side of things, but I'll try to pull it back to the Penguins, after all, it is about their team. Also, I'm not telling you why Rico mentioned chapter forty.