Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Alright, here's the latest chapter. I'm trying my best to get these out now that I'm so close to the end of this little fic of mine. Thanks so much for the reviews and kind words for the last chapter. Sooo, here's the newest one! Please enjoy!

Long Road to Ruin
Chapter Thirty Six: Livewire

Jasper.

"Let's hunt," I said, determined and playful at the same time, trying to ignore the wicked burning in my throat.

Bella's fingers squeezed mine tightly - tighter than she dared to go when I was human - and I heard her melodic laugh, sounding so free and eloquent with my acute hearing.

"Let's split up." Carlisle recommended, ever the voice of reason, "Groups of four."

I looked at him quizzically, and then felt the answer come to me. A group of vampires - people - this large would be very noticeable. Might scream of something strange. I understood immediately. Strange, how fast this brain could comprehend things.

It was already decided that Bella was going with me. Carlisle wanted to go as well, with me being the newborn and all. I might get out of hand, and he was the oldest here. That left the last person... Edward's hand immediately shot up, eager and wondering in its quickness. I stared at him, wishing that I could read his mind for a change. All the other vampires quickly paired off, and then we were off.

Surprisingly, my little group was the last there. Everyone else was experienced when it came to hunting, and I had the faintest idea of what to do. Hunting, to my human brain, was classified as shooting animals with a gun. This kind of hunting was predatory, instinctual, animalistic. I inhaled a breath, loving the way the crisp, cold air filled my lungs, and looked over to Carlisle.

He was giving me a soft smile, noticing my apparent confusion, "It'll come to you, Jasper."

"Just concentrate."

The burning was almost overwhelming now, so I had no choice but. I closed my eyes. There were smells and sounds that I'd never been able to hear before. The craziest thing was that I could identify them with ease. I could smell the scent of the earth, deep beneath that wretched snow. I could smell the air, and notice the little things carried on its breeze - smoke, cooking food, and...what was that?

"He's noticed something..."

I darted into the woods with abandon. I could sense the vampires on my tail, but they were giving me a wide berth. Probably my volatile nature, I figured with a growl. My eyes were open now, my feet pounding away on the snow beneath me. However, they made no sound. I found that running as a vampire was completely liberating. I didn't know how the Cullens standed to drive in cars when they could get around this way. The wind whipped at my face. I dodged tree after tree, not tripping or running over anything. I just knew how to act, how to react, and it was amazing.

The smell was getting closer - something that called to me as it did to every other vampire.

Blood.

Pulsing and racing through some creature's veins. I could tell it was an animal, but even if it wasn't, I knew I wouldn't be able to stop myself.

I could hear murmurs and concerned whispers behind me, but they might as well have been the wind blowing for all I cared about it. I was thirsty, so thirsty that I couldn't think of anything else but the animal that was suddenly in front of me.

The wolf stared at me with cold, blue eyes. A beautiful creature, with a gray coat of thick, snow-matted fur, looking healthy with its heavy body. The muzzle had barely time to pull back over its teeth before I was on it.

I wasn't sure what came over me, but it was jarring. I found my arms around the body of the wolf, and then my teeth were in its throat and I was drinking, gulping down every last drop of the blood in that animal. The liquid was so sweet, tasting so good that I couldn't think of anything else in that moment. Its claws were trying to get a hold of me, trying to injure me, but it was no use. The sharp claws that would usually be good for attacking were no match for my granite skin. The wolf tried to bite down, wrenching its head in a strange motion, but I felt nothing.

The wolf soon started to stop in its struggle, wiggling only slightly before stopping altogether.

I drained the wolf, and then it seemed like I could act normally again.

I looked at the creature, and then felt horrified at myself. I came back to my thoughts, seeing what the creature actually was, and felt guilt like nothing else.

"A wolf..." I murmured, feeling the sadness leech into my body along with its blood.

I stood up from the position I was crouched in and turned to face the other members of my hunting party. I didn't know what my face looked like, but I figured it wasn't pretty.

I could still feel the warm blood on my clothes, quickly cooling from exposure to the elements, and I stared and stared and stared...

"Jasper...are you okay?"

"I...like wolves." I said in a broken way, feeling silly for caring so much.

Carlisle stepped forward and placed a hand on my bloodstained shoulder, "It's okay, son. You just have to remember to honor the sacrifice the wolf gave you. Its life might be over, but you can at least honor it by living well."

I looked at the blonde vampire and felt a smile grace my features. He was right. "Yeah..."

"Oh, what a Lifetime movie moment," Edward snarked, breaking with some humor into the situation. He was then serious, smiling lightly, and saying, "Jasper, meat-eating animals have a tendency to smell better to us, because of what they eat. A deer would smell different than that wolf, for example," he continued, "but, let's bury that wolf so you can feed some more. We'll have that lesson for later."

I realized that I was still thirsty, shockingly.

"Takes more than that to satiate us." Bella chimed with information. Learn something new every day.

I sighed, feeling the acute whistling of breath as it left my throat, and stared at the three vampires studying me.

"Wait for it...wait for it..." I heard Edward mumbling so quietly that not even his lips moved.

Then I realized what he was waiting for.

I smelled the blood before I even saw what animal it was. This was a different one, though, more earthy than the last, but I sped toward it nonetheless. Everything was thrown out of my mind as soon as I smelled it. I felt the presence of only one vampire behind me this time, however. I didn't dwell on it for long. I kept running, enjoying the pleasant feel of power just as my mind spiraled out of control with thirst.

I didn't have time to see the animal this time around. I immediately pounced, throwing myself onto its bucking and wriggling carcass.

It didn't fight back for long.

The hooves - I realized belatedly that it had them - tried to kick out and break bones. But nothing was giving way. And I was glad - I knew all too well what broken bones felt like. There were antlers, prodding into my throat, but nothing gave way. No pain, nothing. I heard a frantic bleeting sound, close to my ears, and for once I cursed my new hearing. My arms tightened and I felt its bones breaking with a sudden thrill of horror, but that was quickly overcome by the pooling of blood beneath the animal's skin.

I sank my teeth in; the animal didn't last long.

I drank greedily, like the first time, gulping down as much as I could. This blood definitely had a different taste, I realized, than the wolf. It wasn't unpleasant, but it wasn't what my body wanted. I realized with a shudder what it did want - a human.

But that couldn't happen. I had to abide by the vegetarian lifestyle. I couldn't go and kill innocents for no reason other than my own pleasure when I knew there was a safer alternative.

Plus, by losing my battle with the want for human blood, I would give up everyone I cared about - everyone that was left alive, that is.

I finished with the deer and made to dig a hole for it to be buried in. That was when I sensed it. I turned, feeling a strange growl come from my lips, and lowered myself into a crouch.

"Jasper, it's just me."

I felt the anger disappear at an instant. Carlisle stood in front of me, arms outstretched in a gesture of peace. Funny, I had expected Bella to be the one that followed me.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Much."

Carlisle smiled, "It seemed that Bella and Edward got so thirsty that they had to go hunting immediately after you left...I wonder why that is."

That smile seemed like he knew something that I didn't. I gave him a confused look, "What?"

Sensing my bewilderment, Carlisle continued, "Bella is one of our newer members, so it is understandable why she would need to go hunt after seeing you, but Edward has been at this for a while longer. His control is admirable. He rarely breaks like that."

I softly asked, "What are you trying to get at?"

"Edward has a theory, you see," he continued gently, not trying to ruffle my feathers. "He mentioned that you had a strange knack for feeling other people's emotions when you were human - only when they were very intense, you see. He thinks that may have carried over to this life."

I gaped at him. How could Edward have known? Oh, right, he could read minds. Damn him.

"How is that?"

"He mentioned that you could feel everything we were feeling. And...now, it seems, with your change, it has a reverse effect."

I stared at him, waiting for him to continue. This whole thing seemed ludicrous, but plausible. It would be a nice explanation for all the events.

"I think your particular gift is that of feeling emotions - and being able to send them out as well."

"Wh...what?"

Carlisle smiled, "Didn't you wonder why everyone suddenly wanted to go feed as soon as you realized you were thirsty? The intensity of your emotions effected them."

"That..." I started, "kinda makes sense, I guess."

"It's fascinating," he continued, "that we would find another gifted family member. Especially with a gift this...intriguing. Even right now, I am feeling strangely confused. Though I have no reason to be."

I felt my dead heart beat throb. I was thoroughly confused - could it be making Carlisle that way as well?

"I think the evidence has it." Carlisle continued, walking past me and depositing the kill into the hole in the dirt and snow, "I just thought you should be aware of it. Maybe, when you get your hunger under control, you can try to focus it. It would be a very interesting thing to see how you can alter people's emotions. If someone was nervous, you could send a wave of calm toward them. It could be helpful in times of strife. But, then again, this is all conjecture. I don't even know if your gift has that kind of reach. Then again, anything is possible."

With a movement that seemed too lazy for what he was talking about, he covered up the deer and turned to me.

"But, enough of that, Jasper. I'm sure you don't want to hear all of this."

I kinda did, actually. I was enraptured, fascinated by the gift that I might have.

"I wanted to tell you, Jasper," he came closer to me and pressed a kind hand on my shoulder. Somehow, I didn't feel the need to attack as a newborn might, "Welcome to the family."

I stared at him, feeling the extent of his fatherly emotion as if it were my own. It was enough to make me long for my own father.

"Glad that you'd have me."

My first day as a vampire was filled with the strangeness brought on by a major change, as it should be.

Edward had, apparently, informed all the other vampires about my supposed "gift," and when I got back to the Denali's house, I saw that everyone was staring at me with interest.

Then, the questions - and nonsensical statements - started.

"You really have a gift, Jasper?"

"No wonder I got so thirsty so quickly."

"It's amazing, truly, it is."

"Awesome!"

I laughed uncomfortably - the sound like a windchime, I noticed with shock - and scratched the back of my head out of nervous habit.

"You need to take a shower."

Well, I wasn't expecting that.

I looked over to Alice, who was smiling at me pleasantly, her bright eyes twinkling with mirth. I looked down at myself for the first time and realized that I was as covered with blood now as I had been in my last moments as a human. I had the feeling that I would be blushing otherwise, but I remembered Bella's lovely face, free of color, and knew that that wouldn't be the case.

"And look in the mirror while you're at it."

I stared at Alice incredulously, cocking my head to the side. Why would I want to do that?

Alice groaned and then was gone. The question about where she was had barely left my lips when I found her, standing in front of me with a large, elaborate, expensive-looking mirror, turned away from me.

"What - " She cut me off by turning the mirror towards me.

I stopped.

And I stared.

The face that stared back at me was lovely - equally as stunning as any of the Cullens. All my flaws from before had seemed to have been erased and recast in stunning beauty. I reached up and touched my hair, wavy and honey blonde, and saw that it seemed thicker than before. I was unnaturally pale. I hardly recognized myself, the change was so immediate to me. But despite that, I still looked like myself - just an abnormally supernatural version. I gaped at my reflection, trying not to notice the blood around my mouth, caked on my neck, and staining my shirt.

My eyes, though, were what shocked me.

Large and vividly red, they stared back at me.

"My eyes..." I trailed off. I wondered why they weren't golden yet. Shouldn't they be the same color as the Cullens' now? I had drank animal blood...

"It takes a while for the animal blood to dilute the color," Edward ventured. "Don't worry."

I gulped, "Yeah."

Alice's tiny face peeked from around the mirror, grinning at me. I would have been surprised she could hold it up, the thing was so heavy looking, if I hadn't known what she was - what I now was... "Mr. Model, hellooooo..."

I blinked, taken out of my reverie, "Yeah..."

She lifted the gigantic mirror over her head with just one hand, balancing it on her palm like it was a pizza box. "Shower?" she said, "We have much to catch up on, and I doubt that Tanya wants blood all over her furniture."

Tanya waved a hand as if to dismiss her, "Oh, don't worry about it, James Dean."

I blinked at her, feeling a sudden wave of happiness float over me. Somehow, now that I was aware of my supposed "gift," I felt some of it extend out from my body, almost felt it touching other people, everyone else in the room, and those people started to grin.

Maybe the idea of a gift wasn't so farfetched, after all.

I said my goodbyes for the moment. I definitely felt like I needed a shower, now that Alice had pointed out how dirty I was. I asked Tanya where the bathroom was and she pointed me in the direction of it, as well as showing me where the towels were. Edward gave me a change of his clothes, since we were about the same size, and then I made my way over to the shower.

The hot water felt wonderful against my skin. It gave a slight sizzle when it came into contact with my ice cold body. I stayed as long as I dared in the shower, loving the feeling of washing away everything that I had been carrying with me since I started my change. I washed away the feel of Victoria from my body, the feeling of helplessness, the dingy feeling of being indirectly responsible for murder. All of these thoughts floated through my mind and then some as I washed the blood and grime from my immortal body, frozen in time at this exact age.

I dried myself off and wrapped the towel around my waist. The bathroom was large, larger than the ones in my own - old, I told myself, old - house. I walked to retrieve the clothing and then looked up to see my reflection in the mirror.

It was even more startling without the blood caked around my face. The bright overhead lights shone down on me, lighting up every abnormally attractive feature.

The myth that vampires couldn't see their own reflection was shattered at my own feet as I looked at myself.

Even the planes of my chest and stomach seemed overtly defined. Muscles moved beneath skin, and I could feel their liquid strength. It resonated through my body like a symphony of the unreal.

My red eyes stared back at me, and I heard Victoria's distant cackling in the back of my mind.

I resisted the urge to punch the mirror in front of me - suddenly, I couldn't bear to look at myself.

I dressed, not wanting to look at the mirror any more. I avoided it at any cost. Sure, my new immortal body was superb, but I still needed time to heal from what had been done from me. Not everything had been changed when I was turned. I still had the memories. Though I had been sufficiently distracted before by the thirst and the newness of it all, they all came throttling back to me. My human memories were fuzzy, as if seen with eyes other than my own, not like the crystal clear appearance of my new, vampiric memories. I didn't want to focus on those awful last moments of my life, afraid that they would be etched with clarity with time. I didn't want to dwell.

But I couldn't help but see my mother's lifeless eyes, watch as she and Jessica were murdered over and over again - I could still hear my own screaming...

A knock on the door jolted me from my thoughts.

"Jasper," Tanya's cheery voice chimed, "you didn't drown, did you?"

I gave a laugh, "No, no." Nothing so fortunate.

I put the towel in the hamper, made sure that everything was clean and precise as it was when I entered the room, and moved out the door. I was still surprised at my own silence. I just couldn't get over the fact that this house, filled to the brim with vampires, was so silent. It was hard to imagine anyone in the room downstairs, but as I descended, I saw the many, perfect faces of the people that were my family, the people that would become my friends.

"Jasper!" I heard Emmett chime, "Right over here, ya big lug!"

I tried to put myself in a good mood - now that I knew about my power, I didn't want anyone catching my mood, which was far from cheerful at the moment. I plastered a smile on my face and tried to force a feeling of content into my veins. I sat next to Emmett, who wrapped his arm around me like the brother he was. I smiled at him and he grinned back, his dimples showing even in his marble-like features.

We talked for a while. Everyone had their opinions on everything that happened. I heard several theories, people snarling at the appropriate times. I think that everyone pretty much had the idea of what had happened to me, so I wasn't needed for conversation much, which I was grateful for.

I noticed idly that even though Diego was in his usual place, alone and leaning against the wall, that Tanya was talking rather kindly to him. Her face, while playful and sardonic around me, was inviting and warm around him. She used her hands to talk as well as gentle words. I was surprised at this, but then again, I shouldn't be. Diego was probably just as damaged as I was, since he had been on a diet of human blood regularly when he was with Victoria. I didn't actually have a hand in killing, when he did - just to survive. I wondered if Carlisle told him the same thing he told me - to honor their deaths by living well.

I saw that Diego had cracked a smile - something that I hadn't seen. It was a first, and it only enhanced his features. His eyes were glinting with something barely supressed, and I realized that he liked Tanya - just like Tanya liked him.

Well, that was quick.

"It's quick...irrevocable..."

Those words chimed through my head, heard so long ago, and I realized that it was truer now, seeing it through the eyes of an observer.

The night passed quickly. The house was huge, enough to allow for every couple their own room. I wondered how Tanya and her clan had gotten a hold of it, when Edward supplied, "They're old friends of Carlisle's. He financed this. You know he has no shortage of money."

Of course, living forever would allow you to accumulate a bunch of dough.

One by one, the couples disappeared to their rooms. I wondered what they did. They must have an abundance of time, not having to sleep and all.

Bella's hand twined in my own, and she smiled at me. We were the last ones left, sitting on the couch together. The oncoming dawn was seen through new eyes, brilliant even though muted through the clouds. She got up from the couch, pulling me with her, and said, "I have something to show you."

I cocked my head to the side, wondering what she could possibly be talking about. She led us up the stairs to the room where I had first awoken as a vampire, and told me to sit down.

I did, all the while confused out of my mind.

She left me there for just a matter of seconds, and then reappeared, her hands behind her back. I could faintly smell something familiar...brand new leather. What would that be?

"I...thought you might want this...something to remember the good times by," she said. Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper, but I was able to hear it with no problem.

I watched with rapt fascination as she presented me with the baseball glove that was my mother's last present to me. I had thought it was gone forever. They had mentioned something about burning the car to cover up the accident, so I thought everything was lost. But not that glove. Somehow, my heart was able to soar, even through all of the pain I had associated with that last trip to Texas.

She placed the glove on my lap, and in the palm of it I saw my mother's topaz pendant, given to her by my father. I saw the familiar broken clasp of it, and it twinkled as if in greeting. I felt my chest tighten, remembered that vampires didn't have the ability to cry.

These two reminders of my past were enough to bring anyone to their knees. I saw Bella's face crumple slightly, realizing that my emotions must be altering hers as well, and said, "Sorry. I need to learn to control that."

"No," she replied, "it's fine."

I took the baseball glove and pendant off of my lap, placing it on the bed next to me. I reached out for Bella, beckoning her to come here. She did, moving so that she was standing between my legs.

"Thank you...you have no idea how much that means..."

Bella pressed her hand against my chest, "I think I do, thanks to your gift."

I gave her a smile, one that I could feel to my very core.

I moved my hand to cup the back of her neck. She hummed in appreciation, and I was surprised by the intensity of the current that seemed to flow between us. Bella leaned forward and paused for a moment, seeming to gather herself before pressing her lips to mine.

This kiss was completely different from the ones we shared when I was a human. Instead of her lips dominating mine, I was able to keep up with her, sometimes turning the tables on her completely. The emotions rolling between us were something that I had never felt before, something that I could hardly keep to myself, but I knew I had to reel in my control. I tried my best to send a calm wave through each of us. It seemed to work. I was ready for a lot of things, but not for that at this particular moment.

Innocently, we moved so we could both lean against the headboard of the bed, ignoring the tattered and torn sheets from where I had gripped during my transformation.

For the first time in such a long time, I felt happy.

End Chapter Thirty Six.

Who else is excited for Harry Potter! :D OMG. Excuse the outburst. Anyway, Jasper's experiences as a newborn vampire continue! Haha, I hope that everyone is enjoying this fic. I would really love to hear your opinions about this and all of that jazz. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing the past chapters! It means a lot!