A/N: Hey my lovely readers. So, I've decided to just upload the rest of the story on here. I'm calling it "the final chapters of Begin Again."
So, please feel free to read & review. Since, I honestly love hearing all your thoughts about each update and the story as a whole.
Enjoy & Thanks so much for reading!
Begin Again- Chapter Thirty- Six
Stefan's P.O.V.
"It's been a while." Carol comments, watching me ring my hands together nervously. It's a strange feeling sitting in her office, being in this quiet room, where I found myself crying and talking about how much I missed who I used to be. But, this time. I'm better, the dreams have decreased drastically and I haven't had an episode, in a long time. I feel normal, for once in the last few months, in these last few years..I feel okay and happy.
"Yeah, it has. I guess congratulations are in order...You're going to be a grandmother." I comment with a smile, watching as she smiles and laughs. "Yeah, I am. Thank you."
"So, tell me. How are you and Elena doing? How are the kids...How was your little trip out of town?" Carol asks in no particular order as I lean my head back and exhale deeply, trying to figure out where to start. So much has happened in the last year that my mind is suddenly taken over with it all and when I finally do say something, it's probably not what she wants to really know.
"I want to be a stay at home dad. I don't want to be a fire fighter anymore. I realized that while I was out of town with Elena and the kids." Saying it out loud is even more terrifying than the look on Carol's face when she closes her case file on me and smiles brightly.
"Really?" She asks me, leaning back into her chair as I smile and laugh a little at how ridiculous I must sound. But when I think about it some more, I want to spend time with my kids, I want to be involved more and make up for all the time we lost together. I'm sick of missing things and it saddens me at the thought of everything that I wasn't there for with them- and, with that being my little push that I needed..I finally decided that if I could just a chance to spend every day with them. I'd take it, in a heart beat.
"Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot lately and it's what I want. Elena would be okay with it, I mean. She's already told me that she could would work more and that we could make it work. I don't want someone else raising my kids anymore, Carol. This whole time, these last few years in their lives, they've been tossed around from family member to family member like they don't have parents. But, they do. They have me and Elena and, I hate that even though we try to be as involved as we can be with them, that it doesn't feel like it's enough." I confess, the weight lifting from my chest as she smiles and leans forward, writing something down in her notepad...maybe something like 'Mr. Salvatore, seems a bit crazy today..He wants to quit his job...'
"A job's important because it brings money and food on to the table, it gives my family the things we need. But, my job...isn't as important as my kids. It took me a long time to realize that. And, I'm glad that I finally did. I'm going to give Tyler my resignation letter and wash my hands of my past. Don't get me wrong, that place, the fire house and those guys are my family. That building was and will always be my second home. But, when my kids grow up and reflect back on their lives, I want them to remember the times they spent with me instead of the times that I wasn't there." I tell her, inhaling sharply as I say the words out loud and allow them to sink in.
Carol smiles at me, this sweet look in her eyes when she inhales deeply and drops her pen on to the notepad in front of her. "Stefan, it's your life. I can only give you advice and tell you what I suggest. Being a stay at home dad for your kids, is an amazing idea. But, will you regret not working?" She asks me as I blink at her, locking my green gaze on to her.
My voice is firm and doesn't shake when I answer her. "No. To be honest, the safe house was the time when I realized it first, the time spent with Elena and the kids, the idea crossed my mind a few times. But, I shook it off, thinking that maybe it would be silly to even mention to my wife. So, as time went on and we moved back home, when she got pregnant with Aiden and I started working again, I was back in the same place I was when I was gone for 5 years..Missing out on things at home all over again. However, our trip to Missouri reaffirmed what I always knew...Being with them, is what I'm supposed to be doing with my life..Because, it feels like it's the right thing to do." I pause for a little bit when Carol nods and picks up her pen again, urging me to go on before she adds her own commentary into what I'm explaining.
"So, what happened at the safe house that made you change your mind about being a fire fighter?" Carol asks me, watching as I close my eyes and a huge smile spreads across my lips, remembering the exact moment when I knew that I wasn't as in love with my job anymore as I was with my family.
"It was a moment with my kids. It was simple, really. But, it made me crave more time with them- just like I wanted with Elena..more time to fix things and make up for everything we lost." I reply, leaning back into the couch in her office and remembering it.
"Who taught them how to swim? I asked Elena, watching as she pushed off her sunglasses from the tip of her nose and looked up at the warm sun hitting aggressively on us with it's heat.
"Damon and Tyler did. They thought that it would be good for them to try. Olivia, naturally took off like she's always known how to swin. But, Sam..He...He doesn't like the water. He's scared of it and he only dips his feet in. We've tried hoaxing him into it and nothing seems to work." Elena had said, gazing over at Sam who was laying in the grass, looking up at the sky as Olivia begged him to go swimming with her out by the lake.
I laughed as I watched her floaty's bounce up and down on her arms, when she stomped her feet and begged her little brother so desperately.
"Sammy, why don't you want to go out there. Your mom and I won't take you out very far. I promise and I won't let you go, ever." I told him as I walked up beside him, lifting him up off the ground when he gave me a saddened look, tears appearing in his little green glazed over colored eyes.
"I don't know how to swim!" He suddenly confessed, crashing his little head against my shoulder. I held on to him and exhaled deeply, looking over to see Olivia and Elena dipping their feet into the cool water.
"So, I'll teach you. You and I will go buy a little pool and I'm going to teach you how to swim." I commented with confidence at my idea, hearing him sniffle when he lifted his head off my shoulder, his eyes filling with hope. "You wanna teach me? Really?"
I nodded, running my hands over his hair as I held his face in between them and locked my eyes onto my son, invisible tears that I could feel beginning to cover my eyes began to fall when I inhaled sharply and stated. "You're my son, Sammy. I would anything for you. Okay? Anything at all. I love you, Sam."
His little arms wrapped around me as I heard the laughter of Elena and Olivia splashing each other in the water. She held on to her and their giggling filled the air. I kissed his cheeks, lifting him up into my arms a bit more, turning Sam around towards Elena when I heard him whisper softly. "I love you too, daddy. Please, don't let me go when go in the water, I don't wanna be scared."
I nodded, keeping his words in mind and shivering a little at how desperate his plea was when I replied back softly."I promise. I will never let you go."
"I taught Sam how to swim that day and we practiced in a kiddy pool for days on end. It was in that moment that I knew I never wanted to miss anything in their lives, ever again." I remark, glancing up at Carol who's crossed her legs over each other and wiping away tears in her eyes.
"You're a good man, Stefan. I just want you to do what makes you happy." She tells me as she smiles and I feel confident when I comment back with the most natural reply that I have probably ever said. "Being with them makes me happy, Carol. That's why I want to do it. Look, my career will always be the thing that I love. But, nothing compares to being a parent and loving your own children." I tell her.
She's smiling, wiping more tears away from her eyes when she gives me a heartfelt smile and adds. "I know. So, follow your heart, Stefan and do what's best for you and your family."
Tyler's P.O.V.
"So, last night was fun." I comment, watching Caroline lift her head up off a pillow in the living room, a beaming smile spreading across her lips.
"It was. And, that's why Elena, Bonnie, Lexi and I have decided that after we go dress shopping today with Anna, that we are going to be staying at a spa...A bed and breakfast for the night, actually. It's our gift to Anna before she gets married to Jeremy in a few short weeks." Caroline tells me as I crinkle my nose at her words. My pregnant wife wants to go out without me, with her girlfriends. I don't have a problem with it...I really don't! However, I'm a bit jealous that her friends are stealing her away from me for the night.
"Don't pout, Tyler..It makes you look funny." Caroline comments, lifting herself up slowly as she gives me a sour face and covers her mouth with her hands when she yawns and adds. "Lexi needs help planning Abrielle's 9 month birthday party too. So, you know..We're all getting together to do that too."
"A night out, dress shopping and birthday party planning. And, what am I supposed to be doing on my night off while you and your friends have fun without me?" I ask her, hearing her laugh as she smiles, making her way towards me. Caroline wraps her arms around my neck and licks her lips, gazing into my eyes sweetly when she bluntly says without blinking. "You and your friends will be babysitting for us."
She must see my face contour into pure confusion when I look away and glare at her, taking a moment to process her words and when I finally do. I can't help but blurt out. "Come again...Did you just say, babysitting?"
Caroline nods, smiling even wider as she lets go of me and turns away. She's up on her feet, winking over her shoulder when she says. "It'll be good practice for you before our baby comes. Come on, honey. You and the boys will have a great time, babysitting the kids. They love you!"
Ha! They love me? If those kids were to pick favorites between all of us, the top two would be a tie between Stefan and Damon. Kol and I, would be at the bottom of the so called 'favorite person in your kid's life...food chain.'
"Sure, they do. Whatever you say. I'm sure we're going to have a great time tonight. I hope you have a good time too, sweetie...Having fun- without me." I comment in a saddened tone, watching as Caroline blows me a kiss and walks down the hall into our bedroom without saying another word.
Damon's P.O.V.
We're all on the floor in the living room. Me, Kol, Tyler, Stefan and all of our kids. I'm not really sure who's bright idea it was to play scrabble with the four of us drinking our "apple juice" as I lean back against the couch and watch Olivia take a turn, she's got her tongue sticking out as Stefan laughs and I lean over her shoulder.
Her eyes are just like her mother's- purely pissed off- when she notice's me trying to see her words.
"We're playing against two 6 year olds...What has happened to my life?" Kol groans as Tyler slaps him on the back and snorts out a laugh, glancing over at Stefan who has this plastered grin of amusement on face that he can't seem to get rid of.
"Almost 7 year olds." Sam chimes in with a wink, sitting back on to his knees when Olivia finally turns around to me and and elbows me in the chest.
"Ouch! Kid, what was that for?" I ask her. Her eyelashes are dark and she's batting them at me sweetly when she looks up at me and states. "You're cheating!"
"I'm cheating..You're the one who doesn't know how to spell." I comment at her. Olivia turns to me, sticking her tongue out when she abruptly states. "You, uncle Damon, are a big fat meanie!"
"Me? I'm being honest. And, I thought I was your favorite 'big fat meanie'." I tell her, watching Stefan and Tyler shake their heads as Tyler finally says. "You're also having a fight over a board game with a 6 year old. Damon, buddy...Let the kid play how she wants to play."
"No rules." Sam comments with a grin, leaning over the board game and spelling out a word that causes my head to spin and Stefan's body to tense up when he looks at what his son has spelled.
"What's it mean?" Sam asks his dad with a huge proud and accomplished looking smile on his face as I look over at Stefan who's just gone about 10 shades of completely pale and is trying really hard to not tear the game away from me or the kids.
"He spelled out..." My voice breaks as Kol laughs and states. "Stef, your son just spelled out what my sister turned out to be and Elena's mother ended up being..."
I can't help but laugh as Sam gives us all a completely innocent confused look and tilts his head to the side, finally saying the word that he spelled out. But, directing his question to his dad. "Daddy, what does S.L.U.T. mean?"
"It's a very bad word that you should never say or repeat again? Especially, to any woman and definitely not in front of your mother. Got it, Sammy." Tyler suddenly says as Sam lowers his head down and looks the word over again.
"It doesn't look like a bad word." He tries to argue as I shake my head, when I clear my throat and add. "It is, Sam. It's not a nice word at all and you'll probably learn what it means when you are a lot older, like in college or high school. So, how about we play a different game..One where we don't have to spell any words."
Stefan nods and exhales deeply, rubbing his face with his hands and leaning his head back as he mumbles out. "How do they handle all of this? Explaining these things to them..I mean, we're really crappy at it."
"Ha, the girls have a natural talent for explaining things. But, they also don't play scrabble with them. Any one else got any good ideas for games?" I ask, looking over at Kol and Tyler who are at a loss when Stefan lifts his head back up and nods.
"Yeah, Elena is going to kill us when she finds out about this. Because it's almost time for them to go to bed. But, it involves ice cream..which is very kid friend." Stefan comments with a wink, briskly getting to his feet as he smiles and looks over at us, waving Kol and me into the kitchen with him, telling Tyler to make sure that Zach, Abrielle and Aiden are okay before joining us.
"Do we have to have rules?" Olivia asks me, staring down at her empty bowl in front of her when she leans into me and smiles her cute little innocent grin.
"Sort of. The rules are who ever builds the biggest and most prettiest ice cream tower wins and the prize is that you get to eat it afterward." I explain to her, noticing her little hands clap together and she leans across the dinning room table where Stefan, Kol, Sam are on one side and Tyler, me and her are on the other.
"Alright, on your marks...Ready...Set...Go!" Stefan shouts out as we all scrambly for the five different cartons of ice cream in front of us, knowing that we're going to be making a huge mess all over the table. But, none of us care as we laugh and get our hands covered in the cold substance.
"Mine's going to be the best, right..Uncle Tyler?" Olivia questions with a smile as Tyler nods at her and hands her pieces of a banana.
Sam's eyes are just as determined as his fathers are when he leans towards his sister and goes to grab the ice cream scooper to the vanilla ice cream carton at the same time as she does. "Let go of it, Sammy. I saw it first, It's mine, mine and mine!"
"Hey, the only rule is that you two have to get along. Now, ladies first, Sam." Stefan comments, taking Sam's hand into his own as Olivia grins widely and grabs the scooper, plopping a huge mound of vanilla ice cream on to the strawberry flavored one that's already in the bowl in front of us.
"Fine." Sam comments in an annoyed tone, rolling his eyes at his little sister. His hands covered in ice cream, chocolate stains covering his face when Stefan takes a napkin and wipes his cheeks too. "Buddy, if your mom finds out about this, we're going to be in a lot of trouble."
Olivia giggles out a laugh when she glances over at her dad, and the rest of us, suddenly out of the blue mimicing her mother. "Momma's going to say what she always does say when you get into trouble, daddy. She says 'Stefan, you're going to sleep in the dog house with Charlie, if you don't start being a good boy!'
Tears are in my eyes as I lean against the dining room table, laughing so hard that my stomach hurts at my niece's words. "Momma also says that if you don't follow the rules, she's gonna to not-."
Stefan gasps, quickly looking over at the clock as he states. "Would you look at the time. 8:30 already? Oh uh, looks like it's past your bed time stinkers! Let's get you two ready for sleep..Go brush your teeth and we'll all be up in a few minutes to say goodnight and read you a bedtime story." I can tell that he's dancing around the subject that Olivia almost brought up and as they both groan in response to their dad's orders. I glance over at my brother who licks his lips and closes his eyes. "This kid, she's got eyes and ears like a hawk...Let's just say that what she was about say was something that she should have never heard in the first place. I need to remind Elena to be a lot more careful around Olivia."
I choke on my drink as I start coughing and look up at my brother who's clearly embarrassed from what his daughter could have said.
"Daddy! I want my bed time story now!" Olivia states from the hallway, as Kol and I look over at each other and watch Stefan get up, a smile on his face when he shakes his head and looks up from his lock that his eyes have on the floor. "This whole, being a stay at home dad idea...Is going to take a lot of time to get used to. Elena is so much better at this parenting thing than me." Stefan tells us, watching me get up too as I remind myself to go check up on the babies.
"But, you won't be alone, Stefan. We've got us as backup parents." Kol tells him when Tyler runs his hands through his hair and follows my actions as he confesses. "That's what I'm terrified about. I don't want to be a bad dad and have my kid hate me."
"Ha, the only way your kid would hate you, Tyler is if you didn't give him or her what they wanted. And, trust me...With Caroline as your kids mom. You two won't have any problem with that." Stefan says, pivoting on his heels and meeting an eager Olivia who's already dressed in her pink pajama's half way down the hall. "Good night, uncle meanie head Damon. I love you the most!" She shouts, blowing kisses to us all and groaning when Stefan tells her to be nicer to her uncles.
Elena's P.O.V.
"Thank god that I finally found another dress for the wedding. The one I had made me look like I was wearing a garbage bag over my body." Anna comments, laying down on the bed in our large room as I smile at her and exhale deeply.
"You look anxious." She observes as I sit beside her and trace my hands over the bed's comforter. I am nervous, I can't help but think that the guys have Sam and Olivia staying up all night long and eating buckets of ice cream until they get sick to their stomachs. Or that Aiden, Zach and Abrielle are all crying without stopping because they miss their mom's.
"Elena, I know that we agreed to not have any cell phones with us for the night. But, just go call them and check in before you end up driving back home to see if they are okay." Lexi finally says, lifting up her head from her magazine that she's holding.
"Okay, just one phone call. That's it. Just one, quick check in. I promise." I comment, getting up quickly from my spot on the bed as I glance down at my professionally manicured toes that we had gotten done earlier in the day.
I can hear Bonnie and Caroline laugh a little as I close the door behind me and lean against it, pulling out my cell phone that I brought with me, just in case of an emergency. My heart is pounding and my palms are sweating when the ringing increases and part of me wants to hang up and not bother them. But, just as I contemplate it, Tyler's voice picks up the phone.
"Salvatore residence. This is Tyler." His voice is cheerful and light and when I strain my hearing just a bit it sounds as if something heavy is breathing on his chest.
"Tyler, it's Elena...I know that we said that none of us would call you guys. Because, we trust you. But, I just wanted to-." He cuts me off, I can picture the smile on his face as he speaks in a low and whispered voice.
"All the kids are asleep, Sam and Olivia wanted to make a slumber party downstairs and so, we're all sitting together and watching The Lion King. Did you know that Simba really wanted to be king?" Tyler asks me in a joking manner as I laugh and exhale out the breath that I've been holding since we left them to take care of the kids, earlier in the day.
"Yeah, Tyler. I knew and Scar was a big fat jerk. Look, just give them all kisses from us and have a good night then. Oh and tell my husband that..." I start to reply back, just as he interrupts me again.
"I know..That you love him. Hey, Stefan your wife is on the phone and she says she loves you!" Tyler comments before telling me and sweet goodbye. I end up hanging up the phone and leaning against the door, smiling. I've always been thankful for Stefan's friends. But, for some reason, tonight makes me even more thankful for them. Maybe it's because the girls and I can finally relax and not have to worry about anything as much as we usually do or it could be the fact that when I called and heard Tyler's voice that he sounded calmed and relaxed, which means that everyone else is too.
Kol's P.O.V.
"Man, this whole baby sitting thing takes a lot of work." I say out loud as I watch Stefan adjust Aiden against his chest, a bottle in his hands when he starts rocking his son asleep and closes his eyes himself.
"Yeah, but you have to admit that we had a lot of fun today." He tells me as I smile and nod. It was fun, playing with his kids and the babies had made me realize what I want out of my life, what I want with Lexi.
"Lexi and I are moving in together and since Abrielle's birthday party is in a few months, I was thinking that I could plan it for her. I just want to do something nice, to help her stress less." I comment as Damon nudges me, whispering into my ear when he pat's Zach on the back and smile's. "Man, you just want to do anything you can to convince her that she should marry you already..I've heard the stories. Dude. Give it up already, if the girl said wait..Kol, you suck it up and you wait!"
Damon's words sting a little as I shrug it off and smile. It is pathetic at how much I want to be with her. But, it doesn't matter if anyone makes fun of me about it- I don't care because all I want is to have a family, to finally fill that missing piece in my life that needs to be fulfilled.
"I'm not going to give up on it, Damon. I love her and you guys should understand that. I mean, you all have wives and you know what it's like to keep working at a relationship. So, that's what I'm doing, I'm working at it because I want to make, Lexi and Abrielle happy. Because, that's what they do for me. Before I met Lexi, I didn't know what I wanted out of my life and now, I do. I want to be married and I want to be a dad, I want them to be my family- I want what I see all of you guys having. Watching the three of you raise your kids has been an eye opening experience. Even watching how nervous Tyler is about having a kid with Caroline, makes me know that I want that too. I want to feel nervous about things, I want to question if I'm doing things the right way when it comes to helping her with Abrielle. I just..." My voice trails off as Damon rolls his eyes and glances over at me.
"Let me stop ya buddy before you get all sappy on us like a love struck school girl. You want Lexi to be your wife, you pretty much want to be her daughter's dad and if you two end up getting married, you want to be with her for as long as you can, basically for the rest of your life. We get it, Kol. We really do. You're in love with her and you would do anything for her."
I'm smiling at the sound of Lexi's name as I watch Damon adjust Zach in his arms again and I open my mouth to speak. But, Stefan's sleepy voice cuts in as he leans forward and gets up off the couch, yawning when he locks his eyes on to me and states in a firm tone. "So, stop worrying that she'll reject you over and over again and tell her how you really feel. Marry her, Kol. Marry her and make her your wife because if you never do, you'll regret it and Lexi deserves happiness. She deserves it with you."