Mai on... Zuki!
"For Avatar fans who absolutely have to see all their favorite characters paired up by some arbitrary point in time, a girl like Kyoshi Warrior Suki with no obvious national affiliation is a handy tool. However, I absolutely draw the line at pairing her up with MY boyfriend, the Fire Prince Zuko.
"I mean I know Suki is very pretty IF YOU GO FOR THAT KIND OF LOOK because it's kind of hard to miss considering she wears the same amount of clothing while hanging around the house and going on shopping trips as I do when making a rare visit to a hormone-soaked un-chaperoned beach TO SPECIFY YOU CAN SEE THE SAME AMOUNT OF MY SKIN THAT TY LEE SHOWS OFF ON AN AVERAGE DAY and when she's not going overboard on the inferiority complex that makes her sometimes hate all men and especially those who try to point out her legitimate flaws I'm sure she can display a very sweet BUT NOT QUITE KATARA-LEVEL personality but I just have to be suspicious of a girl with a completely unknown history and a day job that seems to consist solely of hiding from the rest of the world and learning how to eviscerate an unmoving training dummy in 5 different ways.
"You see Suki grew up on what's known as Kyoshi Island because about a million years ago Avatar Kyoshi got mad that she couldn't afford any beachfront property despite the money she made performing in Kabuki IS THAT WHAT THEY'RE CALLING BURLESQUE THESE DAYS theater for her boss Chin the "Conqueror" so she used her holy Avatar powers to tear her home village off from the rest of the Earth Kingdom and sail it out into the nearest sea. I have to question Kyoshi's sanity at this point because if she really wanted beaches she should have plunked her little island down somewhere closer to the Equator rather than just a stone's throw away from the South Pole which aside from being cold also seems to attract giant sea monsters and if you're looking to be a successful trading port Evil Unagi are definitely not something you want hanging around and glaring with amused derision at any ship that comes near your harbors.
"Now the residents of Kyoshi Island wear both green colors and blue colors so there's no easy way to classify them as being Water Tribe or Earth Kingdom but the local police force AT LEAST I THINK THAT'S WHAT THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE definitely favor green but even that seems to just be an homage to Avatar Kyoshi herself because they all wear the same dress and armor she did and wear the same ugly attention-grabbing makeup she favored for whatever reason PROBABLY TO HIDE SOME KIND OF DISFIGURING DISFIGURMENT BUT SHE NEEDN'T HAVE BOTHERED THAT TYPE OF THING CAN ACTUALLY BE ATTRACTIVE IF WORN RIGHT and even fight with same inefficient war fans WHAT'S THE POINT OF A WEAPON THAT ISN'T SHARP AND DOESN'T ADD ANY RANGE TO ATTACKS and call themselves the KYOSHI WARRIORS because no one ever gets tired of hearing the name Kyoshi on Kyoshi Island in the Kyoshi Sea in the village of Kyoshi where the Kyoshi Warriors spend their time learning the Kyoshi fighting style OH NO NOT AT ALL.
"Nobody knows what prompted Suki to join the Kyoshi Warriors but it has been speculated that she wanted to follow in the footsteps of some female relative like a mother GEE I WONDER WHAT THAT MUST BE LIKE I USE MY MUM AS AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT I'D KILL MYSELF FOR BECOMING or grandmother or butt-kicking aunt or someone but no one NOT EVEN SOKKA I KNOW BECAUSE SOMETIMES I CHAT HIM UP BUT NOT FOR THE REASONS YOU'RE THINKING NO NO NO has ever heard or seen any evidence of any family in any aspect of Suki's life at all. It's also possible that becoming a Kyoshi Warrior is just something that all teenage girls on Kyoshi Island do but I can't help but wonder why that would be because any girl with any taste SPECIFICALLY FAVORING DARK COLORS AND SKULL-SHAPED HAIR ORNAMENTS would balk at wearing that kind of makeup for years of her life and wouldn't a good history curriculum OR AT LEAST A WELL-DRAWN COMIC BOOK SERIES be a better way of teaching girls about her holiness the Avatar Kyoshi anyway?
"However the most popular reasoning behind Suki's decision to seek to boss all her tart friends around is that she's just so PURE and HONORABLE that she was born with an innate understanding of all the good things Avatar Karaoke stood for and she spent her whole childhood dreaming of becoming a Kyoshi Warrior and standing up for what's right and bringing peace to the world with masterful use of her perfect leadership skills and when that didn't work judicious use of a katana. Needless to say BUT YOU KNOW ME I'M GOING TO SAY IT ANYWAY WITH AS CRITICAL A TONE AS I CAN MUSTER WITH MY GRATING VOICE I don't really BUY that because I witnessed something similar growing up but the girl in question didn't end up dating Sokka and befriending the Avatar IN ORDER OF IMPORTANCE but rather killing the Avatar at least once and tormenting Sokka and becoming history's third most hated villain but for some reasons double-standards never seem to apply when we're talking about Azula and Suki.
"For his part Zuko was NEVER very fond of Azula so of course AND PLEASE DON'T THINK TOO DEEPLY ABOUT THE LOGIC HERE he's never shown the slightest bit of emotional or physical or psychological interest in Salacious Suki Time even though from what I hear he had more than enough time to do so. Zuko first encountered Suki when he attacked KaMonkey Island during his LONG hunt for the Avatar and the only interaction he had with her was to beat her up a little bit NORMALLY I'D HYPOCRITICALLY CALL HIM OUT ON HITTING GIRLS BUT IN THIS CASE I FIND I REALLY DON'T MIND and as soon as the Avatar retreated Zuko quickly followed because he had absolutely no interest in spending another moment among the Clown Girls especially considering he goes for darker beauties AS YOU CAN TELL BY THE WAY HE STARES AT ME OH YEAH and he wouldn't even think of her again until he was helping Sokka break Suki out of Alcatraz and even though Suki tried flirting with him YES I'M SURE OF IT the same way she did with Sokka by at first pretending to be annoyed by his poor life choices and then working well with him in a dangerous situation Zuko couldn't be less interested in the at this point less colorful floozy because I also happened to be in the area and trust me Zuko had his full attention on me every time I saw him OF COURSE HE WAS ALSO AFRAID THAT I WOULD STAB HIM AT THE TIME BUT THEN THAT'S A FEAR HE'LL JUST HAVE TO LIVE WITH HIS WHOLE LIFE and even afterwards when for all he knew I could be dead he was too preoccupied running away from the man-hungry ministrations of the Waterbender and the blind Earthbender to worry too much about a girl who lost her weapons and couldn't come up with a better way of flirting than wearing red and exposing her belly button hoping the handsome prince would notice what a GREAT fighter she was even though all the girls he ever knew were great fighters and NONE of the others were so greedy that they wanted both Sokka and Zuko as playthings WHY AM I GETTING STARES?
"Something about overly made up women and scarred Firebenders get my blood boiling, but in two very different ways."