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I Missed Again
34. Oh, Did I Miss Again?
Sakura sits on the railing of the bridge waiting for Naruto, Kakashi and Sai; it has been about three days since she last set eyes on Kakashi – which was partially a good thing as he did still need rest after his injuries. However, this has also made it near impossible for her to figure out what Kakashi is thinking or what was wrong with him – after all, he'd been in such a hurry to leave after she'd healed him that he'd forgotten his glove and haitai-ate.
The great Copy Nin, who's memorized over 1,000 jutsu, forgot a glove and headband. Unthinkable. Impossible.
She'd noticed his behaviour from when she bumped into him in the Shushuya, he'd been just about the last person she expected to see (guessing that he is as about as much of a recluse as she is) and he definitely seemed a little off.
But she'd chalked it up to perhaps feeling a little emotionally drained after the mission (she sure as hell had been) after all, it was she and Kakashi who seemed to end up as the focus of that mission in varying ways. Naruto is too naturally cheerful (or stupid) to end up emotionally drained by mission (unless Sasuke is involved) and Sai? He doesn't have emotions to begin with so that case is pretty easily solved. Speaking of which;
"Good morning,"
"Morning, Sai," She offers a half-hearted fake smile (at least he doesn't or can't pick up on them) "How are you, this morning?"
"Well, thank you ugly dog, and you?" Well, at least he's getting slightly closer to polite, he gave her a quick fake smile before he looked a little more cautious; "Uh… May I ask you something, Ms. Beautiful?" Raising an eyebrow, the immediate reason for his change of tune was obvious: he must have been listening to Naruto's 'how-to-speak-to-women-guide' (apparently after Jiraiya, he is "expert", although he has a suspicious lack of evidence to show) sighing, Sakura nodded,
"Go ahead,"
"Well, um, when we were all in the Shushuya with our age-mates, you went up to buy drinks for myself and Naruto – where Neji-san accompanied you. Why did you come back to our table?"
"What? What do you mean?"
"You bumped into Hatake-san at the bar, did you not? Shouldn't you have gone to join him? After all, he is your-"
"Sai, I don't know why you seem to think that there is something… romantic going on between Kakashi and I but there isn't – he, long ago, was my first genin sensei and later my team captain – I've known the man for over a decade as I have Naruto. But because Kakashi is older than us, it's natural for us to have a slightly different relationship dynamic than me and Naruto – just as he and Kakashi have a slightly different dynamic to Naruto and I." Sai thought for a moment,
"Yes, I can appreciate that, but don't you think he is a little… Overprotective of you?"
"To the extent you must be thinking of? No. He is a little, yes, because I am team medic and to that end, I have to remain away from battle situations as well as the fact that I'm female which – although irritating – is also somewhat understandable." They lapse into silence for a little while before Sai speaks again,
"Human interpersonal relationships are very confusing,"
"Yes… And most of us find them just as confusing as you do; we have very complex systems of communication – most of which are nonverbal and each action often has multiple ways to interpret it and multiple meanings. And because feelings are about the most personal element to an individual, it's very easy to become hurt even if it is not intended, so most people try to hide their real feelings and this tends to be very confusing to others."
"How do you know what they mean?"
"It's often guess work where you have to find evidence to support your theory about what they might be feeling – although the best way to get them to tell you directly," Sai looked positively confused;
"But, did Hatake-san imply that he was going to marry you at the Daimyo's son's wedding?" Sakura rolls her eyes,
"That was a lie,"
"But why did he choose that particular one?"
"Probably because it was most believable but non-negotiable in the context,"
"But how did you know Hatake-san was lying?" At this point, Sakura couldn't help but crack up in riotous laughter at Sai's comment, she nearly fell backwards into the river although just managed to save herself, "Um, Sakura, what's so funny?"
"A-haha, s-sorry, Sai, it just the way you said that made it seem like if Kakashi wasn't lying, then I'd be imprisoned for the rest of my life," Managing to calm herself, she noted Sai's further confusion,
"Well that's what I've heard marriage is-" Sakura shook her head,
"Well, it's not supposed to be, but some can end up that way – but no, if Kakashi was really going to do that, the I would have had some prior indication and we would have had some prior romantic relationship, which we haven't. Besides, I could always have declined,"
"Why would you have done that? Hatake-san is very well respected in the village, a powerful shinobi and he obviously-"
"Good morning, Sakuurraa-chaaan!" Naruto appeared with a huge grin on his face, "Morning, Sai,"
"Morning, Naruto… Why so happy?"
"Hmm? Well, we're training today!"
"Baka," Sakura mutters under her breath, silently wondering if Naruto would explode if he was given something to be ecstatic about. Thankfully, however, he managed to shut Sai up – what is his obsession with her and Kakashi anyway?
They'd waited the longest yet for Kakashi and by the time he'd turned up Sakura had nearly convinced herself he wasn't coming and that he had forgotten about them. As soon as he appeared he was very quick to dish out orders – sparring, Sai vs. himself and Sakura vs. Naruto – without so much as a glance in her vague direction, let alone making eye contact.
After a couple of hours, they've come to a halt and Kakashi dismisses them, without so much as a glance back; Sai disappears in a swirl of ink, Naruto is quick to run away (for ramen) and Sakura is equally as quick to gain Kakashi's attention. She notes he seemed to be a little slow in leaving but she has more pressing matters; instead of acknowledging her presence he merely stands still,
"Kakashi, I have your haitai-ate and glove… And, I hope that your injuries have fully healed," She walks around to stand in front of him, his book is already out so that he doesn't look at her.
"They have, Sakura, thank you," He accepts both items, again without looking up from his book, before stuffing them in his pouch,
"Good, I'm also curious about something," He pauses slightly, but says nothing, "What was it like to spar with Sai? Did he possess a strange sort of passion I sometimes glimpse when he's in perfect timing with Naruto, or was it more like fighting a machine?"
Kakashi stiffens and raises his eye, finally up off his book and onto the kuniochi in front of him, she looks expectant but speaks again before he has a chance to; "I'm conscious that I never really answered your question all that time ago… Did you get the answer you needed?" His expression is so blank that Sakura nearly fears for a moment that he's performed a kawarimi and left a scarecrow in his place, but he eventually responds. His tone is soft and somehow resigned, absolute;
"I don't like sweets, Sakura," She raises her eyebrow in an expression of playful disillusionment;
"Well neither do I based on how you define them," Kakashi was unable to resist the tiny twitch to his lips at her insinuation; even though he didn't want to, she manages to bring a smile to his lips in less than three minutes. Thankfully all was hidden by his mask. "Anyway… I, uh, wanted to say that I'm sorry about the other day… I guess it must have been pretty awkward for you and-" He cuts her off by placing a hand on her head and ruffling her hair as though she were twelve again;
"It's okay, Sakura-chan, there really was nothing you could have done about it even if it was you fault – which it couldn't possibly have been," He offers a wide grin – but it has to be fake considering the emotionlessness he was displaying not thirty seconds ago.
It's as though they've suddenly reverted right back into their old roles and dynamic but Sakura can sense something isn't quite right – he's hiding something – this, in itself isn't unusual behaviour for the Copy Nin – but it seems as though he's hiding something major after he's been so honest with her over the past few months. More so that she's ever known him to be, so why the sudden change?
He's suddenly gone in a puff of smoke and the fading warmth of where his hand had been on her head seems all the more lacking.
How is it that Kakashi has become so distant from her? How is it possible that he could have been so pushy and involved for the few months before the mission and all of a sudden act as aloof and disinterested as he always has done? What has changed? Is it because she seems and feels much better after the mission, he thinks his task is complete? That there's nothing left to solve and so is on his way?
Something about it saddens Sakura, she's gotten used to being so close to him and hates the idea of suddenly being dropped and returned to a state of meaninglessness to him – she'd far rather keep the strange, easy friendship of sorts they'd forged – but is it so one-sided, that after Kakashi had decided he was done with it, it would drop like a stone?
Sakura can't be sure, but before she can decide what to do, she senses a presence in front of her and looks up to spot a very pale-faced boy looking like he's full of questions.
Oh, Kami!