Chidsengan: Alright, everyone, we have until the end of this chappie to make
this birthday a success!
Masamune: I thought your birthday was LAST
week...
Chidsengan: It was! But this week is much, much, MUCH more special because of who's birthday we're going to be celebrating! And we're going to make it the best birthday ever if I don't ruin it like I always ruin things!
Tsubasa: I don't think I've ever seen you so excited about anything other than your fanfic family...
Chidsengan: ^-^ Mhmm! Now, let's get started! Masamune, Gingka, you're on buffet duty! Try not to eat it all!
Masamune and Gingka: Ma'am yes ma'am!
Chidsengan: Zeo, get your checklist ready, because we're going to need it!
Zeo: Roger that!
Chidsengan: Julian, Sophie, Wales go shopping, please! Klaus, you wrap the presents when they bring them back, please!
Julian and Sophie: Aye aye, captain!
Wales: -_- ... she finally stops talking about my hair to order me around...?
Klaus: I'll make sure the presents are wrapped to your satisfaction, Miss Chidsengan.
Tsubasa: -_- ... Miss Chidsengan?
Chidsengan: Thank you so much! Alright, Tsubasa, after the wonderful feedback I received from your doorman service at my birthday party, I would be honored if you would be the doorman for this birthday party, also...
Tsubasa: -_- ... *sarcastically* Yippee, I'm really moving up in the world...
Chidsengan: ^_^ I'm glad you're happy, Tsubasie!
Tsubasa: -_-
Chidsengan: Alright, Benkei, you're display with the confetti last time was marvelous, so I'm putting you in charge of it again!
Benkei: B-B-B-BULL! I WON'T LET YOU DOWN!
Chidsengan: Only this time... please don't drop it on Ryuga's head. *lower lip quivers sadly* He yelled at me...
Madoka: He's always yelling at you.
Chidsengan: *happy again* Which reminds me! Madoka, you, Kenta, and Yu, the cutesy one, are in charge of decorations! And Teru, you're in charge of music!
Teru: I won't let you down!
Yu: Me, either, Chiddy!
Kenta: Likewise!
Madoka: I making no promises...
Chidsengan: And Kyoya... *glances around* Hey... where is Kyoya?
Benkei: He said he had to take care of some things, and if I know Kyoya, it's probably something really important, because he wouldn't miss working alongside his crush for the world!
Chidsengan: 0.0 ? Who's his crush?
Everyone: 0.0
Tsubasa: *nervously* Ummm... Madoka!
Madoka: *nervously* Sophie!
Sophie: *nervously* Hikaru!
Masamune: *nervously* Potato chips!
Gingka: *nervously* Hamburgers!
Julian: *nervously* His bey!
Teru: *nervously* This... amphitheater...?
Yu and Kenta: *nervously* Someone you don't know!
Zeo: *nervously* No one!
Wales: *nervously* My beautiful hair!
Benkei: I'M A PRETTY BALLERINA!
Everyone: 0.0
Klaus: *bluntly* Kyoya likes you, Chidsengan. It's pretty much common knowledge.
Chidsengan: 0.0 ?
Everyone: KLAUS!
Chidsengan: 0.0 ? He does?
Tsubasa: Klaus, you weren't supposed to tell anyone! Kyoya's going to kill us!
Chidsengan: 0.0 I don't know what you're all talking about, but I think you're mistaken. No one can like a loser like me. It's impossible.
Zeo: If you're Ryuga, maybe, but somewhere along the line, Kyoya fell heels over head in love with you.
Gingka: -_- ... I can't believe you didn't notice.
Chidsengan: ^_^ Well, I suppose it doesn't matter! Kyoya's one of my closest friends! As far as I'm concerned, nothing's different between us! Besides, I'm still not sure if he does have a crush on me or not!
Everyone: -_- ... is she really THAT oblivious?
Chidsengan: Welp, we have a lot to do, so if you all could please report to your designated posts we'll commence operation F.L.U.F.F.B.A.L.L.!
Everyone: -_- ... Operation... F.L.U.F.F.B.A.L.L...?
Chidsengan: ^_^ Mhmm! It stands for 'Families Like Us Fight For Birthdays At Least a Little'!
Tsubasa: -_- ... that would be really cute if it made any sense, you doofus...
Chidsengan: ^_^ Thank you!
Zeo: -_- ... come on, everyone. Let's get out of here before her insanity starts to make sense...
(Everyone leaves, leaving a beaming Chidsengan behind)
Chidsengan: ^_^ Anyway, in case anyone's wondering; today's (June 22), and it's also my brother, Rasdori's, birthday! *spins around happily and laughs* And I'm so excited! We're going to have a big party for him at the end of this chappie, so I hope everyone will stick around for it and leave a birthday message in the reviews for him, too! Given that anyone reviews... *starts crying slightly* Not that my useless fanfic is worth reading or reviewing, even. I'm worthless... I'll probably ruin my beloved
little brother's birthday... and after all he did for me for my birthday... *pulls herself together* Anyway, now's no time to be sad! Because even if I'm useless and idiotic, I have the best fanfic family in the world backing me up, and I know they won't ruin Anthony because they're so amazing! Speaking of the fanfic family, I would just like to say 'thank you' to the best fanfic family in the world!:
FutureCharacterDesigner4Pixar
dreamlily
DragonFang2011 (Aw, my mentor and one of my closest friends ever! Your words always bring me so much joy. And you did get me a gift... you! Just being you is the best gift you could ever give me! Thank you! ^_^)
Allycat
Darknessrules
RoxasOtaku
Bes9200
The-Silver-Butterfly1500
SkylarkOfTheMoon (the whole entire Ryuga collection is yours if you want it, not just the coffee mug! Thanks for contributing to the humor mentioned in the A/N and for being such a great friend! ^_^)
MoonBlazer
Tiger
Starlit Skyline
Powerless Flames
The Thunderstruck Tiger
Fangtooth
Marai
kikiforbid
theforgotten
azure blue espeon (where would I be without my fellow Nile fan and amazing friend! Thank you, azure blue espeon! You're wonderful and so amazingly talented! ^_^)
A.B.D.Y.Z. (You're so sweet to me! I'm sure that you're a one thousand percent better author than I am, however! Thanks for being one of the greatest friends of all time! ^_^)
GalaxyPegasus14 (Don't put yourself down, please. You're a terrific writer and a great friend! I promise you, the next time Gingka has a major chappie, it's dedicated to you! Thank you so much for everything! ^_^)
ilovedogs12
Andromeda105
SpyWolf8
JuniperGentle
SayoCross (Guest)
BlackholeRaven1311
DragonSiren (I loved the songs! In fact, this fanfic's unworthy of them! They made me cry! Thank you so much! You're such a wonderful friend! ^_^)
PinkiePie30
Guest
zineb1996
dolphin12145
RainbowAbstract
XGerfulsGaloreX
BlackCatNekko999 (Thank you! ^_^ You're so kind! I'm not that great, though... hardly. I'm sure you're much better than I am! Thanks for being such an amazing friend!)
ClearShadows117
PurplePantherXVI
cutie pie (Aw, I'm so sorry I made you cry! I'm such a worthless person! But you're such an amazing friend and I just want to thank you so much for that! ^_^)
Guest big fan (thank you for your sweet review and forelock being such an incredible friend to me! ^_^ And to answer your question, I'm going to try to squeeze all the characters in Beyblade into this fanfic if I can. The next people to make an appearance should be Hikaru; Dynamas, Bao, and Aguma. Hope that helps! Although I'm an idiot so it probably didn't... :( ... I'm so sorry...)
Ann-JMSRT (Guest)
STar-mPARaLel W (Guest)
Lolpup (Thank you so much! You're a wonderful friend! Come the later chappies, there's going to lots of Tsubasa... with a chappie dedicated especially to you! ^_^)
And a special welcome to PineScar and love sasodei s2! Welcome to the family! I hope you enjoy being a par of it as much as I enjoy saying that! ^_^ In addition all for your kind reviews for my birthday! I know I just said 'thank you', but I want to say it again! Thank you, thank you, thank you an infinite amount of times! *cries hysterically* I love you all so much (sibling-like)!
Nile: *clunks Chidsengan over the head* Quit crying and get to the disclaimer, dummy.
Chidsengan: 0_0 ! Nile! What are you doing here?
Nile: The others left me behind to keep an eye on you so you don't humiliate yourself or ruin anything important like you always do.
Chidsengan: 0.0 ? Humiliate myself?
Nile: -_- ... of course you don't know what it means to humiliate yourself. That's the only logical explanation to why you keep writing.
Chidsengan: TT_TT It's true... *hugs him tightly* But I love you, Nile!
Nile: -_- ... *sighs* Anyway, seeing that Chidsengan's more excited than ever due to her brother's birthday and isn't thinking very logically, I'll finish this A/N for her. First of all: she doesn't own Beyblade or the characters. Secondly: this chappie's dedicated to everyone since it's Rasdori's birthday. Thirdly: this chapter translates to... *reads cue card* -_- ... 'The Ways to Be Hungry... *frowns* How'd you think of that name?
Chidsengan: Rasdori suggested it! ^_^
Nile: 0.0 ? And... because of birthday bias I'm obligated to suddenly alter my opinion... ^_^ I love it!
Chidsengan: ^_^ Thank you, Nile! *hugs him so tightly that he starts to turn blue*
Nile: In... any... event... *pries her off* Please try to enjoy this chappie...
Chidsengan: TT_TT Even though it's not possible because I'm such a stupid idiot and a terrible writer! *starts crying hysterically*
Nile: -_- ... *pats her in the back* We hope you enjoy, please...
Chidsengan: *waxing nostalgic* And my little brother's growing up so fast! Pretty soon he's going to be leaving me for college! *cries hysterically*
Nile: Not for a long time...
Chidsengan: I'M GOING TO MISS HIM SO MUCH!
Nile: -_- ... and I think that's where we'll end this A/N... before she cries even more...
Chidsengan: MY BABY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY! THEY GROW UP SO FAST!
Nile: -_- ... too late...
Meanwhile, as everyone ate their meals and listened to how the prophecy had started, it was a different, much drearier atmosphere in a specific cabin in the lower decks where a certain, scar-faced, green-haired teenager was.
Laying on the cabin's bed, Kyoya was turned on his side and glaring at nothing in particular but the wall in front of him; looking about as lonely as Lera had described Chorísfos, the boy who had started the prophecy, himself.
Being holed up in the cabin for the whole day had hardly helped his already usually agitated mood, and now, as he heard the chatter of everyone else in the deck above him, he couldn't help feel a little left out.
It was stupid, really; he knew he could just go upstairs and join them if he wanted to...
But it wasn't that that was bothering Kyoya.
It was moreso the fact that no one had even seemed to notice he was missing (A/N: and if only he had read two chappies before this one where it kind of confirms that they did ^_^) that was getting him thoroughly depressed.
Well, more depressed than was typical, that was.
Even Tsubasa and Benkei, (who he'd eventually agreed to share lodgings with figuring Tsubasa would be a quiet roomate and Benkei... well Benkei had just begged to be roommates with Kyoya) who'd kept him company for most of the day had left him once dinner had been served.
And they hadn't bothered to come back and check on him since.
So now, he was alone, depressed, and left with nothing better to do than glare at the walls of the cabin and listen to his stomach complain that he'd skipped dinner... and lunch... and breakfast...
Come to think of it, the last thing he'd eaten was a dried strip of meat that Tsubasa had given to him, and that had been two days ago.
Now that he thought about it, he was starving, but his stupid pride wouldn't allow him to head upstairs like some sort of baby and ask for leftovers.
Plus, he didn't really feel like seeing 'Mr. Hopeful Aleksei' or seeing 'Madoka the Psycho 'Princess''.
Or Ryuga.
He definitely wasn't in the mood to see Ryuga.
Ryuga the person who aggravated him more than anyone else.
Ryuga the person who he couldn't stand so much it was almost crippling.
Ryuga the person who had stolen away pretty much every last 'friend' Kyoya had.
Now that Ryuga had swooped in and taken over as the unofficial leader of the group, Kyoya couldn't help but feel like his world had come to a screeching halt.
Even after everything, after warning them about Ryuga's traitorous ways and untrustworthy personality, everyone had still sided with him over Kyoya.
And it hurt mostly because, for all his talk and nonplussed demeanor, being there for the others, acting as their leader, protecting them, and just being in their company had filled Kyoya with a fond emotion even he couldn't peg.
Happiness, perhaps?
Maybe love?
Whatever it was, it didn't really matter, all Kyoya knew was that watching out for the others had given him a purpose in life; a reason to live other than to just survive for the sake of surviving.
He'd never just wanted to survive just because, he had always wanted to live with some sort of reason to.
And helping the others, a bunch of kids who, like himself, had and nowhere else to turn to and nothing left to lose, had given him that sort of sense of purpose; an innate feeling that he actually mattered and that his life wasn't a waste of time:
But, just like always, or rather, just like EVERYTHING, the others were snatched away from him almost immediately after Ryuga had walked into their lives.
And for some reason, seeing everyone side with Ryuga had left him feeling emptier than he'd ever felt before.
No.
Not emptier than he ever had before, he had to remind himself.
There was one other time that he'd felt as empty as he did now.
It was that night.
The night Nile had died, the night where the emptiness had concaved so greatly on him that it had practically crippled him.
Kyoya's hands clenched into tight, angry fists at the memories.
He could still remember that night so clearly, every last detail of it all.
The terror.
The screaming.
The fire.
The way Ryuga had disappeared into the flames like a malevolent, dancing phantom.
The way Gingka had screamed his name over and over again so desperately.
The way Nile's lifeless hand had slipped from Kyoya's.
The emotions of that night still weighed so heavily on Kyoya's mind.
Pain.
Rejection.
Horror.
Angst.
Confusion.
Like he had been completely worthless.
No.
Not like he had been.
Like he was.
Like he always had been.
Like he always would be.
That was what true emptiness felt like; to feel heavier than lead and like you were slowly sinking in a pool of terrible emotions and not a single person cared.
To not be worth anything to anyone was true emptiness; a void that nothing could fill except love and genuine companionship.
That void had been filled when Kyoya, Ryuga, Gingka, and Nile had been friends, before the death and the betrayal and the sadness and the hatred.
That void had been mercilessly reopened, however, the second Ryuga had turned his back on their friendship; the second Kyoya, Gingka, and Nile had found out that their bond that made them as close as siblings meant nothing to Ryuga.
And then that void had been scraped painfully raw, like pouring acid onto an open wound, when Nile had been stabbed by a Thanátos soldier.
Stabbed and left to die in Kyoya's arms.
Stabbed and left to die in Kyoya's arms as all Kyoya could do was cry helplessly as Nile's life vanished from his very being.
Never before had Kyoya felt so empty as he had at that moment and the terrible, agonizing months, the terrible, agonizing YEARS, that had followed.
Never until now.
Now, when he thought he had finally gotten over his grief and had overcome the pain of losing one of his closest friends; when he thought he could be strong and was ready to handle whatever life could throw at him; now when he thought it was safe to have friends that he could keep at a distance without worrying about losing them.
How wrong he'd been about everything.
He should have known that nothing he ever tried to do was going to be good enough.
Who was he trying to kid, anyway?
He was an orphan, a street kid; he'd never known his parents and he'd never had a penny to his name.
He was homeless, he was starving, he was exhausted; he wasn't even worth the time of day to spit at like villagers sometimes did with street urchins.
At least Ryuga had some money and prestige to his name as a merchant.
What about him?
He had nothing and he was nothing.
How could he have possibly hoped to have cared for anyone and to keep anyone safe?
It was all too hard.
It was all too depressing.
It was all too hopeless.
A small scoff escaped Kyoya's lips as the thought crossed his mind.
That's all life was to him: hopeless.
It was actually almost kind of funny how low he felt, so low that he couldn't even see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Pathetic.
Even Aleksei, who worked for a cynical pirate, had hope.
What did Kyoya have?
Absolutely nothing.
Nothing except the last words Nile had ever said to him.
"Be brave..."
Those two words... Kyoya lived and kept fighting because of them.
They were always there echoing in the back of his mind ever since that night.
"Be brave..."
Those were Nile's last words.
Not 'have hope'.
Not 'dream big'.
"Be brave..."
He'd imparted his last wishes on Kyoya and had entrusted him with his entire legacy; in two words, Nile had given Kyoya his entire purpose for living and an oath to agree to; a path to tread.
And Kyoya had been living his life based in those two words ever since.
He didn't live for hope, or happiness, or wealth, or anything like that.
He lived because he was alive and needed to be brave; because he had promised he would.
And no matter how empty he felt, no matter how much seeing the others side with Ryuga pained him, no matter how much he wanted to cry, even... he couldn't give in to any of it.
Because doing that would be just like Aleksei had said earlier.
"Quitting would dishonor the memories of those that have come before us and are watching over us as we speak,"
Kyoya closed his eyes.
Be brave.
Don't quit.
They were essentially the same thing; simple things, really.
It should have all been so easy.
So then why did he feel like he was dying?
His breathing quieted and for a moment only the sound of his still-beating heart could be heard.
He was alive, his heartbeat was proof.
Yet he was dead.
The stabbing emptiness in his chest was proof of that.
He closed his eyes as he let the silence of the room seep into every fiber of his being, weariness winning over his tired mind as he started to doze off.
To be alive and dead at the same time...
... was that even possible?
Kyoya sighed.
He was exhausted... so completely exhausted...
Maybe if he rested for just a second his mind would be more at peace and he'd stop having such depressing thoughts and flashbacks.
Just a minute couldn't hurt...
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK.
A sudden banging on the cabin door practically sent Kyoya out of his skin as his brief sense of peacefulness was interrupted.
His frustration only mounted when he heard who was at the door.
"Kyoya? Are you alright?"
His teeth grit at the familiar voice on the other side of his cabin door and he couldn't help but groan.
Not her.
ANYONE but her.
"Kyoya, open the door!"
Madoka.
"Kyoya! Come on! It's not right to leave a lady waiting at a door, you know! Or, then again, maybe you DON'T know, considering your manners are terrible,"
Shoulders jerking back angrily at her insult, Kyoya reluctantly sat up on the cabin bed and glared at the door furiously as if he meant to burn holes right through it.
"Kyoya! I know you're in there! Don't make me drag you out of there with my bare hands!" Madoka threatened, banging on the door repeatedly. "Open this door!"
Sighing tiredly and frustratedly, Kyoya slid out of bed and walked to the door in a slight, shuffled manner.
He was in no mood to see Madoka, but considering she was making such a ruckus at the door, he figured he might as well hear what she had to say.
So much for sleeping.
"KYOYA! OPEN THIS DOOR! I MEAN IT! RIGHT NOW, YOU IDIOT! IF YOU DON'T, I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GET JULIAN AND HAVE HIM CUT THIS DOOR DOWN WITH BLACK EXCALIBUR AND AFTER HE DOES I'M GOING TO PERSONALLY TAR AND FEATHER YOU WITH MY OWN, TWO HANDS AND THEN SKIN YOU ALIVE RIGHT BEFORE I-!"
Before she could finish her sentence, Kyoya opened the door that Madoka was banging against and she toppled in the room, landing flat on the floor.
After her initial surprise, Madoka scrambled back to her feet hastily, blushing and brushing off her skirt with her left hand.
In her right hand she was holding something cupped and wooden that was covered with a wooden top, catching Kyoya's curiosity for a moment.
"Well, it's about time you opened the door!" Madoka scolded Kyoya, diverting his attention from the bowl in her hands. "And it's a good thing that you did when you did, too! You were dangerously close to being the next victim of my righteous fury!"
With a small roll of his eyes, Kyoya tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.
"What do you want?" he muttered.
Madoka stopped dusting off her skirt for a moment and looked at Kyoya with a bit of a surprised expression.
"Who, me?" she asked as Kyoya nodded slightly. "Well, Aleksei said that you might be lonely down here all by yourself and that someone should at least check on you, so I thought I'd come and see how you were doing,"
Kyoya scoffed as soon as he'd heard Madoka's explanation for her sudden entry.
Aleksei had suggested it?
That figured.
Kyoya was one hundred percent sure that Madoka would have never shown him a shred of compassion if she hadn't been trying to impress Aleksei.
Recalling the memory of Madoka's giddiness with the pirate first-mate earlier that day for some reason only darkened Kyoya's mood towards her and he turned her back to Madoka with an indignant sniff.
"Great. You're here. Now go away," he said tartly.
Madoka's mouth gaped open for a second before she pointed an accusatory finger at him.
"HEY! I CAME TO CHECK ON YOU, PAL! THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS SAY 'THANK YOU', OR AT LEAST NOT KICK ME OUT OF YOUR ROOM!" she shouted.
"Thank you. Now get out of my room," Kyoya retorted flatly.
Madoka's lips turned downward into a frown.
"You don't exactly know how to appreciate kindness, do you?" she asked tersely.
"Nope," came the flat reply.
"Ever consider working on it?"
"Not really,"
Madoka's eyes narrowed on Kyoya in a scowl at his glib response.
"You know, I've met rats with more chivalry than you," she said crisply, her right eyebrow twitching with anger.
A smug smirk and terse statement met her comment.
"Funny, because I've met pigeons with more consideration than YOU," Kyoya belittled her coolly, making her face flush in an angered embarrassment.
"How dare you say something like that about me?!" she yelled at him. "You rude, classless, imbecilic little-!"
"Are you going to just stand here yelling at me?" Kyoya cut her short. "Because if you are, then you might as well leave me alone. Your insults don't bother me in the slightest, so you're just wasting your time. Go join everyone else back on deck and leave me be,"
And with that, her companion stormed back over to his bed and laid down on his side with his back facing her, causing Madoka's lips to crease into a frustrated scowl as she glared at him.
How could he have been treating her so rudely?
Even after she'd gone out of her way to be nice to him?
Granted, she had been a little brash with him, but still, she had also come to see he was doing of her own benevolence, too.
Alright, so it had really been Aleksei's idea, but...
"Well, why are you just standing there? If you have something important to say, then say it. If not, then leave me alone already," Kyoya said coldly, shallot her put of her thoughts for a moment.
Growling under her breath at his callous words, Madoka pivoted on the back of her heel to head back out onto the upper decks of the ship.
She didn't need to deal with his embittered mood, she decided, and gave a small sniff of absolute disdain as she went to storm out the cabin door.
Before she could, however, she stopped when she saw the bowl she was holding in her hand.
It was full of some of the night's dinner; burgoo (A/N: which is actually oatmeal. More on that later... ^_^) and a couple other foods that had been smuggled from the table.
And since Kyoya hadn't eaten anything all day, he must have been pretty hungry...
Glancing over her shoulder at Kyoya, who was curled up on the cabin bed with his knees to his chest, Madoka sighed and let her pity for him win over her present frustration with him.
"Are you hungry?" she asked quietly, so quietly that if there hadn't been a slight echo in the cabin her voice probably wouldn't have even been audible.
Kyoya flinched a tad at the question, his mind suddenly diverted from getting Madoka to leave him alone to the empty gnawing in his abdomen.
"What... did you just say?" he queried cautiously, rolling over to face her.
"Are you hungry?" Madoka repeated, turning away from the door and back to him. "The others and I just thought that you might be, considering you didn't come to dinner or anything like that,"
Kyoya bit his lower lip slightly as his eyes flickered downward.
"It's nothing," he said dully. "I'll just get some leftovers or something like that later. Don't worry about it,"
"Well, that's... kind of the point," Madoka said nervously. "There AREN'T any leftovers. We kind of ate everything,"
Kyoya's shoulders slumped defeatedly and his stomach tightened in disappointment.
"Oh..." he muttered, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. "Well, in that case, I-"
"But don't worry! Just because there aren't any leftovers doesn't mean there isn't any dinner! You see, we all saved you some food!" Madoka cut his sentence short.
Kyoya's blue eyes opened and widened as big as saucers.
"You did?"
"Mhmm!" Madoka nodded. "We figured there probably wouldn't be any leftovers since we were all pretty hungry, so, ummm, SOMEONE suggested that we put aside some of the food and bring it to you later. Look!"-she scrambled over to where he was lying down and uncovered the bowl-"There wasn't much after we all ate, but we managed to gather some things together for you to eat,"
Letting his curiosity get the better of him for a moment, Kyoya rolled over and glanced at the contents of the bowl through the delicious steam that wafted in the air.
What he saw made his stomach ache will a dull and painful feeling of hunger.
Inside the bowl was a delicious array of something that resembled oatmeal (A/N: actually, oatmeal did exist back then. Only it was still in the experimental stages so most of the time it turned out like gruel (X ...) that was poured over with savory butter and glistened with brown sugar and cinnamon; on the side there was also a warm loaf of raisin and nut bread and what appeared to be cider-soaked apple slices.
Kyoya bit back a hungry gulp as his stomach clenched longingly at the sight.
The food smelled so delicious... so inviting... that it actually made him a little faint and he had to take a deep, shaky breath to regain his bearings.
"Well?" Madoka glanced down at him expectantly.
Kyoya looked at her for a minute, then back at the food once more.
"I-is it alright?" he asked in a stammer.
Madoka nodded, a smile gracing her lips in a relaxed manner as she did at seeing Kyoya's stubbornness give way a little.
"Mhmm," she said cheerfully. "Eat up! That's why I brought it to you!"-she started to ramble excitedly; so quickly that her brain could hardly keep up with her mouth-"Everyone figured that you must have been kind of lonely and hungry down here all by yourself, and since you didn't eat anything at all today, we all sort of felt sorry for you. So Aleksei said that someone should check on you and keep you company, and I agreed, of course, and then we all gathered up some food for you like Ryuga suggested and-"
"Ryuga?" Kyoya's ears instantly perked up and a suspicious expression immediately clouded his features.
Seeing her error, Madoka tried to backpedal with a nervous chuckle.
"W-well, not EXACTLY," she said hastily. "I-I mean, we all chipped in a little, so it's not like it was REALLY all his idea..."
The moment, however, had been ruined the second Ryuga had been mentioned and Kyoya's skeptical expression hardened into one of absolute disdain.
Laying back down on the bed, he instantly feigned an air of disinterest in the whole ordeal.
There was no way he'd eat something Ryuga had suggested giving him and be at his whim.
He'd rather go hungry than give Ryuga the satisfaction, no matter how desperate for food he was.
"No thanks, I'm not hungry," Kyoya denied coolly, blatantly ignoring the fact that he wanted nothing more than to jump on the food and devour it right then and there.
Madoka's lips creased into a frown at his reply.
"Come on, Kyoya. Don't you want to eat?" she asked. "Aren't you hungry, even just a little?"
Sliding his eyelids shut, Kyoya shook his head slightly.
"But-"
"I'm not hungry," he repeated calmly.
Taking note of the way he subconsciously licked his lips a tad after he'd said that, however, Madoka folded her arms over her chest stubbornly.
Ryuga or no Ryuga, misstep or no misstep, she wasn't about to put up with Kyoya's stubbornness.
"KYOYA," she muttered, her voice twinged with obvious aggravation as she pursed her lips and tapped her right foot impatiently.
"I'm not hungry," he stated levelly, though the scent of the dinner made his empty stomach protest with a quiet rumble.
"Kyoya, I went out of my way to bring you some dinner, now eat it!"
Kyoya glanced up lazily at the miffed girl above him and narrowed his eyes into little slits stubbornly.
"No," he retorted firmly.
"Yes!" Madoka snapped back, her face flushed with anger like it did only when she was beyond frustrated.
"I told you, I'm not hungry," Kyoya insisted with a low growl. "Now leave me alone,"
Madoka stamped her foot on the floor of the ship furiously, her eyes ablaze in complete rage.
"Idiot! I know you're just telling me that because you want me to leave you alone and because of your own, stupid pride!" she yelled at him. "I'm not stupid, you know! And even if I was, it doesn't take a super-scholar to know that you're lying! The last time I saw you pick up something to eat was two days ago, and who knows how much you even ate then! Don't tell me you're not hungry! I know you are!"
"No, I'm NOT," Kyoya hissed. "And even if I was, you couldn't force me to eat something Ryuga suggested to give to me,"
He rolled over on his side once again as Madoka let out a frustrated scream.
Then, in a fit of blind rage, she slammed her foot on the floorboards with such force Kyoya wondered how the ship had managed to not get a hole in it.
"DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON ME!"
With a forceful grip, she yanked Kyoya by his shoulder and slammed him back onto his back; glaring menacingly down at him like some kind of blood-thirsty monster than Madoka.
"What is it with you?!" he screamed at her, his blue eyes set in a glower. "In the time that I've known you, you've pointed swords at me, threatened my life, and now you're acting like a lunatic! If I'm not hungry I'm not hungry! Just leave me alone!"
"You ARE hungry and you're going to eat!" Madoka screeched at him. "Now stop denying it and being such a stubborn jerk!"
"I'm not denying nothing," Kyoya responded gruffly, and if he'd been taught the difference between right and wrong he probably would have crossed all his fingers to reverse his falsehoods.
"ANYTHING, you imbecile!" Madoka corrected his flawed grammar tensely. "Goodness! Didn't anyone ever teach you anything?!"
"Sorry, princess," Kyoya's retort was almost painfully sarcastic. "I can't say that anyone ever did. I was raised on the streets, remember? No one wastes their time with fuss and frou-frou on a street kid,"
Madoka's fury simmered just the slightest at his words as her eyes softened, no longer so enraged, but instead sympathetic and frustrated.
"But you're NOT on the streets any more," she said, trying once more to be gentle as she struggled to breath levelly.
"Doesn't matter," Kyoya mumbled. "Things haven't altered,"-he glared at her-"For instance, how do I even know I can trust you?"
Madoka sighed, absolutely exasperated.
"Will you just calm down and eat?" she asked.
Kyoya's eyes flitted to the steaming bowl of food on the mahogany desk beside him and blinked a few times, trying to decide what to do.
"Kyoya, please," she coaxed him quietly. "You can trust me. I promise. Please, just eat,"
Madoka's voice was so gentle, so unlike her normal self, that Kyoya couldn't help but let his gaze wander to her for a moment in perplexion before they darted back to the food in front of him.
She had a point.
He wasn't on the streets anymore; it was safe to give in and eat; to satisfy his empty belly.
Safe to trust.
But in turn, doing that would also mean throwing away years of training and complete control over curbing his emotions; he'd be giving away everything he knew and had taught himself for a bowl of food.
Eating meant satisfaction.
But it also meant that he'd be brushing aside the only thing he'd ever had to his name: his stubborn will and pride.
No, he wasn't on the streets.
He was someplace far worse; traveling with Ryuga aboard Ryuga's friend's ship eating Ryuga's friend's food... which might as well have made it all Ryuga's... and to top things off Ryuga had been the one to suggest giving him the food in the first place which meant thay if he gave in and ate it he'd be giving into Ryuga and would be essentially under Ryuga's thumb for eating it (A/N: try saying that ten times fast ^_^).
Ryuga.
That was all that it came to eventually, didn't it?
"One: you should really be checked for dual personalities," Kyoya started. "And two: I'm not going to eat. Now PLEASE, leave me alone,"
Madoka pulled at her hair in frustration at Kyoya's reply.
"You were about to eat it when I first showed the food to you!" she yelled at him. "Is it just because Ryuga was the one who suggested to bring you food that you're acting like this?"
"You could say I lost my appetite,"
"THEN IN THAT CASE FORGET ABOUT RYUGA!"
Kyoya bit his lower lip and closed his eyes at Madoka's words, his entire body stiffening.
Forget?
No.
It wasn't that simple; he couldn't just FORGET about Ryuga.
Ryuga was everything he couldn't stand.
Ryuga was everything that made life practically insufferable.
Ryuga wan't so easily forgotten, and Kyoya growled as he snuggled more deeply into his bed.
"No, thank you," he finally said.
Madoka's eyebrows knitted and her mouth formed into a pout.
She could practically feel the ruefulness in his voice, the pitiful sound of weakness.
Wether it was because of Ryuga or hunger or both, hearing the weariness in Kyoya's voice was enough to make her try one more time, this time with all the temperance she could muster.
"Kyoya, if you're hungry, you need to eat," she tried to reason with him. "Please. Just eat, regardless of Ryuga or anyone else. Eat,"
To her aggravation, however, Kyoya only shook his head again and Madoka scowled, her patience immediately worn away like a candle burnt to the wick.
She couldn't believe he was still blatantly refusing her, even though he looked like he was so hungry he could hardly take being around the food.
Did he really think she was stupid enough to believe he wasnt hungry in the slightest?
Even if he did, she wasn't going to let him get away with it.
To the wind with niceness.
If nice didn't work, she'd use some other way.
Stabbing the spoon she'd brought into the burgoo, she scooped a large dollop of food in it and held it towards Kyoya.
"EAT," she ordered.
Kyoya once again refused noiselessly, shaking his head.
"KYOYA," Madoka's fury had returned to her voice with a vengeance. "EAT!"
Kyoya shook his head once again, looking more like a two-year-old than the teenager he was.
Madoka's eyebrows knitted angrily.
"EAT THE BURSTEW!" she shouted.
"It's BURGOO," Kyoya corrected her. "And, no!"
Madoka's blood boiled and she could practically feel what little patience she had left skidding to a halt.
"I don't care what it's called, just eat it already!" she ordered.
"No."
"Eat it, Kyoya!"
"No, Madoka."
"Eat it right now!"
"I don't want to!"
"I demand it!"
"I refuse it!"
"Eat it!"
"No!"
"Eat!"
"No!"
"EAT THE FOOD!"
"I. SAID. NO!"
In the next second, however, Kyoya found himself choking on burgoo as Madoka smirked triumphantly as she held the spoon in her hand.
As soon as she'd seen him open his mouth widely enough, she'd shoveled the food in his mouth, forcing him to eat it.
Now that he'd gotten a taste, she'd just like to see him resist his hunger and refuse the food anymore.
For a few moments, Kyoya panted for air and coughed; his body trembling from shock as he did.
Then, as soon as he was able to, he glared at Madoka with such viciousness that if it hadn't been anyone as equally stubborn as himself they would have run away screaming in fear.
"See? Now, was that so hard to do?" Madoka grinned.
It seemed sweet on the surface, but it was twinged with smug triumph and, in Kyoya's eyes, highly sadism and evil.
"You nasty little brat!" he snapped at her, making her expression morph into a highly infuriated one. "What were you trying to do? Kill me?!"
"Hey! That's no way to talk to a lady!" she screamed back.
"You're no lady, princess,"
"Stop calling me that! Now,"-she spooned out another portion of burgoo and held it towards him-"Say 'ah'..."
"Ah... ah..." Kyoya said stubbornly, shaking his head again with a low growl in protest.
Madoka's eyebrows knitted angrily.
"Kyoya!"
"What? You said to say 'ah',"
"That's not what I meant! I meant- look, you just need to eat!" she persisted.
"Don't want to,"
"You stubborn numbskull! I even brought you the food and everything!"
"I didn't ask for it or for you to bring it to me," Kyoya returned gruffly. "I'll be just fine without it,"
He turned over on his side once more and closed his eyes.
"Go give it to your good buddy Ryuga. I'm sure he'll be happy to take it just like he took everything away from me before,"
"At least he'd eat it," Madoka shot back.
"Yeah, just another thing everyone could say he does better than me,"
Madoka growled, then slammed her fist on the bed Kyoya was on so hard that he could have sworn he heard the support beams crack slghtly.
"Why is it that everything with you always gets diverted back to Ryuga?!" she shouted, nearly seething. "Ryuga this' and 'Ryuga that'... it's like you're obsessed with him!"
Kyoya instantly bolted into a sitting position and pointed at her angrily.
"Hey! It was his idea to bring me the food to start with!" he snapped back at her, not happy in the least about her suggesting he was 'obsessed' with Ryuga.
"He did that because he was trying to be nice!" Madoka said innocently.
"Yeesh," Kyoya groaned, smacking his forehead with his right hand. "I can't believe you! You REALLY think that he's suddenly become a nice guy and he cares about me in the slightest? No! I've known Ryuga for a long time, and let me let you in on a little secret... HE DOESN'T CARE! He doesn't care about me, he doesn't care about you, he doesn't care about anyone in the entire world except himself! It's impossible for him to be nice! There's always a deeper reason to why he does things, you have to realize that!"
Madoka folded her arms over her chest and rolled her eyes.
"Oh, brother!" she said with a dramatic sigh. "That's what you think? Gee, I knew you were a paranoid weirdo, but I never knew you were THIS much of a nutcase!"
"I'M NOT A NUTCASE!" Kyoya screamed. "I just don't trust Ryuga because I've seen how he can turn on someone in a split second!"
"Like how he supposedly betrayed you?"
Kyoya flinched slightly and grit his teeth; biting back the emotions that flooded his chest at those words.
"Like how he DID betray me," he responded firmly. "And how he betrayed Gingka, too,"
Madoka sniffed.
"And yet you don't see Gingka complaining about it," she remarked snidely. "He seems perfectly fine, like nothing ever even happened. It's just too bad you can't be the same way,"
In the next instant, however, Madoka regretted saying anything at all.
Kyoya's eyes flickered to her at once and narrowed into an almost murderous glare, making the girl stiffen in fear as an unwelcome shudder rolled down her spine.
"Do you know nothing?" Kyoya asked in a low growl, his body wracked with shaky breaths of fury. "Don't you know that Gingka is one of the reasons why I can't stand and don't trust Ryuga so much? After Ryuga's betrayal, Gingka had to grow up more quickly than any child should ever have to! He had to become the person who provided for us because I was too injured to AND look after me! He had to find shelter for us in the dead of winter, forage food for us where there was practically nothing, and keep us alive! And at the same time, he had to tend to every injury I received as a result of Ryuga's betrayal! For months he stayed by my side; wiping sweat from my forehead and bandaging my wounds... looking after me at the expense of himself! For months, I was nothing but a burden to him! I should have been the one looking out for him, not the other way around! And one day, I woke up and Gingka wasn't the same, happy kid I knew anymore. Because of my uselessness, because of Ryuga's betrayal, the Gingka I knew was gone! And I'll never forgive myself or Ryuga for that!"
The already-chilly atmosphere in the room seemed to drop into the negatives and Madoka took a step back in fear.
She couldn't recall a time when she'd ever seen Kyoya so fervent about something; not angry, not bitter, but genuinely upset.
And it frightened her, for some reason.
"I-I didn't know that," she stammered, trying to think of a logical way to work around the situation, but to no avail. "A-and I didn't mean to bring Gingka into it, but it's just that you... you-"
"I 'what'? I'm angry at Ryuga? I can't stand him? I'm too hard on him? Well, good!" Kyoya snapped, springing off the bed and to his feet. "Because whether you like it or not 'princess', that's just the way things work with he and I! What he did to Nile, to Gingka, it was something that I can't just accept and let go! I will always detest Ryuga! I will always harbor disdain for what he did! And I will never, EVER trust him again!"
Giving a sharp glare so terrible that it made Madoka's blood freeze, Kyoya opened the cabin door swiftly and gestured for her to leave.
"Thanks for the visit, but I think you've overstayed your welcome," he spat at her venomously. "Go away,"
Madoka's hands were trembling, but she stood firm.
"What's your problem?" she asked, her voice exasperated and accusing at the same time. "You can't just let bygones be bygones already? What happened to you was terrible, but it wasn't so horrific that it ruined the world! You're just a bitter, stubborn little boy who only holds onto his hate because he doesn't have anything else to hold onto!"
"You're right, I don't," Kyoya growled through gritted teeth. "And I don't have anything left because of that TRAITOR you all think is your leader!"
"WE don't think he's anything special!" Madoka shouted back angrily. "You just assume that we do because you're so paranoid about Ryuga that you can't even think straight!"
"I am thinking straight!"
"No, you're not! Otherwise, you'd know better than to think that he's our leader!"
"Then why do you all follow him around like a bunch of mindless numbskulls?! Why do you all act like he's better than me when he's nothing but a traitor?!"
"BECAUSE MAYBE HE'S BETTER FIT TO GET US TO ÍROES THAN SOME SORT OF GUILT-RIDDEN, SULKING, AND ANGRY SCAR-FACED TEENAGER!"
For a second, only silence could be heard throughout the small cabin as Kyoya's heart skipped a beat at Madoka's words, which sent him reeled a tad as if he'd literally been hit.
The furious brunette girl in front of him, however, didn't seem to notice his discomfort and continued in a furious blind rage.
"Why don't you just give it up already?!" she shouted, shaking her head so hard that her brown hair slapped against her face repeatedly. "You'll never settle your score against Ryuga, so just stop being so stubborn! All this tension between you two is only hurting you and the rest of us! It's not hurting Ryuga! You might as well quit trying to avenge your friend's death against Ryuga and forget about protecting us like you keep saying, because you're too weak to do either!"
With an exhausted, shaky breath, Madoka finally stopped her tirade; panting and trembling like a frightened child who'd just run for miles away from someone that threatened them.
For a brief second, her heart felt light with pride and she felt as if a huge burden had been taken off her shoulders at finally having gotten to voice her opinions to the person who got on her nerves te most in the world.
In the next second, though, her triumph faded as quickly as it had come when she saw how Kyoya looked.
He had his head lowered and his entire body was shaking with restrained yet mounting anger; his hands clenched into almost impossibly tight fists and his breathing so shaky that it was hardly able to be called erratic.
In just a second-long glance, Madoka knew that she had stepped too far out of line and quickly, fearfully, tried to backpedal.
"Umm... Kyoya..." she started anxiously. "I can explain..."
"Get out."
"H-huh?"
"I said... GET OUT!" Kyoya growled at her, turning on her with such a furious expression that if looks could kill this would have sent her packing to plan her funeral.
Before she could say another word, Kyoya was shoving Madoka out of the room by her back as the frightened girl dug her heels into the ground to halt herself.
"No, wait, Kyoya, please!" she stammered. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I said! Please! This wasn't how things were supposed to go! I just wanted you to eat and forget about Ryuga and all! I just-"
"Be quiet!" Kyoya snarled, his blue eyes narrowed on her in a viscous glower.
Madoka jumped slightly at the enraged tone in his voice, dislodging her heels from digging into the floor and giving Kyoya an opportunity to shove her out of the room the rest of the way.
"Kyoya-"
"No, you just stay quiet already!" Kyoya growled a her, his eyes clouded with all the untamed ferocity of a lion hunting for its prey. "I've had it with your banging on cabin doors, and shoving food in my mouth, and your insults, and your Ryuga-loving, and your naïveté, and just you!"-his voice lowered into a primal sort of growl as his glare turned even more piercing and fearsome-"And another thing, I don't care what you think of me! So what if you think I'm an uncivilized street urchin or if I'm angry?! You think you wouldn't be if you had my life?! I dare you to spend a day living like I've had to my whole life, seeing the things that I've seen, and then come back and tell me if you're not angry, too!"-grabbing onto the door, he went to slam it-"Let me tell you something, 'princess', you may have worked in a palace your whole life, but that doesn't give you the right to look down on people! You may act like you know everything, but you don't! You don't know half of the things that any street kid knows about, and you most definitely don't know anything about me OR Ryuga! SO QUIT ACTING LIKE YOU DO!"-the door finally-"AND STAY OUT OF THIS CABIN AND LEAVE ME ALONE!"
The minute the door was shut, he leaned against the door and slumped to his knees exhaustedly, belatedly realizing that he'd overdone it with his emotions again.
He felt completely drained and placed his right hand on his panting chest wearily, shivering as his heart pounded a mile-a-minute and as sweat clung to his brow heavily.
His head was foggy from a combination of his loss of his temper, tiredness, and hunger and for a second it was hard to breathe, so much so that he almost lost consciousness completely.
He almost didn't hear Madoka's quiet apology from the other side of the door.
"Kyoya, please. I'm sorry,"
Kyoya rested his head against the door and closed his eyes.
"Please," he pleaded, trying to ignore how weak he sounded. "Just leave me alone,"
Silence.
"Alright," Madoka finally agreed, her voice barely a whisper.
From the other side of the room, Kyoya could hear her take a few steps away, when they suddenly stopped altogether.
"Kyoya," she said softly, her entire tone of voice gentler than Kyoya had ever heard before. "I really am sorry,"
More silence.
"That's the problem," Kyoya said at last, sounding far too tired for someone his age. "Everyone's always 'sorry', but they never really mean it,"
"But I do mean it! I'm sorry, Kyoya!"
"You're just saying that because you feel guilty,"
"Well, yeah, I suppose, but-"
"Do me a favor,"
"What?"
Another unbearable bout of stagnant silence hung in the air, this time for at least a good minute before Kyoya answered Madoka.
"Apologize to me when you actually know me; when you know what I've been through," he responded coldly. "Maybe then I'll listen to you,"
Madoka took a step back from the door and let her eyes sweep the floor.
There wasn't any way she could get through to him; there was no way Kyoya would even listen to her.
She had done all she could.
"I-I'm going to go say good night to the others," she said quietly, desperately hoping that her voice didn't crack when she spoke. "Alright?"
"Whatever,"
Madoka lowered her head, her eyes stinging with slight tears from some sort of emotion she couldn't quite peg.
"Good night," she murmured.
"Good night," came Kyoya's terse reply.
The chill in the ship seemed to be biting into Madoka's bones more than ever as she took another small step away from the cabin door...
... but once again, her feet stopped in their tracks.
Mustering all the courage she could, she clenched her hands into frustrated fists and said one last thing that she hoped would resonate with Kyoya.
"You're not alone, you know," she stated. "You may think you are, but you're not. Even if none of us will really ever understand the things you've been through, that doesn't mean we won't listen. If you need to talk, we're always here for you,"-she resumed her stride out of the lower deck-"And I promise we always will be, even if you don't want us to be,"
And with that, she left, leaving Kyoya to listen to her footsteps fade into the lonely silence of the ship until they finally disappeared completely.
When they did, Kyoya buried his head in his arms and furiously tried to fight back emotions he though he'd buried long ago.
Pain.
Rejection.
Horror.
Angst.
Confusion.
It was happening all over again.
Only this time he had so much more to lose and so much more at stake.
This time, the emptiness in his heart was enough to tear him apart.
And this time, he could only stand by and watch as everything crumbled right in front of him; unable to protect anyone even in the slightest.
It really was possible to be alive and dead at the same time, he concluded.
"Be brave,"
Kyoya had promised that he would be to his best friend years ago...
... if only Nile knew that he'd been asking for something nearly impossible.
Note: Please join us for another special, extended birthday-edition A/N after this. Thank you! ^_^