Chapter Thirty-Six
Preparation
I drive to my house alone in the car, Axel and Reno tailing behind me or sometimes along side me on their bikes. I have to fight hard to keep my eyes on the road and make sure I don't careen into other cars in my lane. It's just damn near impossible to not stare at Axel on that motorcycle. He looks like he was made to be sitting on the back of one of those things, and I feel so strange sitting in this car. My brain conjures up images of me, arms wrapped tight around Axel's waist as we zip past everyone else, going only somewhere we know. The thought entices me, and even if I'll probably never mount a motorcycle, on account of not wanting to die in a horrible crash, I can still fantasize about sitting on it with Axel, or maybe making out on one.
The one good thing about being alone in my car is the silence, which allows me to think. I have no idea what my mother said to Axel over the phone, and I'm not entirely sure if any of it was good or not. Axel's face didn't really give anything away, he was quiet and calm as he got on his bike and Reno didn't even question him as he got on his. Reno doesn't seem to find anything wrong with this whole situation and it makes me wonder if he even knows why Axel had to leave. I'm sure he does, but then why isn't he at least a little curious as to why my mother suddenly invites them for lunch? I mean my mother kicked Axel out of the house, and if Reno knows that, he should at least be skeptical as to why she wants to see him again. If it were my brother I'd be nervous for him, instead Reno seems almost eager to get to my place. Maybe she just wants to apologize, to make sure there aren't any harsh feelings about the whole mess, but I don't know if I could really trust her. It definitely sounds like something my mother would do, so I wouldn't be too surprised. I just hope she doesn't decide to be spontaneous and do something unexpected.
I park the car, my hands shaking as I pull the keys out but I'm too scared to get out of the car. If this was one of those Rob Zombie movies or something, my mom would probably have gone insane and is calling us all back home to kill each of us. My dad would be gutted in the basement and our lunch meat is off his bones. Okay, gross Roxas...that's just morbid.
I jump, startled out of my weird thoughts about Rob Zombie and why he's so gross, when Axel knocks on my window. I'm glad humans don't have the ability to read minds, or else Axel would turn around and run. I open the door and spill out, my legs feeling like jelly and the redhead stares at me curiously. "Yah seem more scared than me," he laughs lightly, Reno coming up and walking right past us, going straight to the front door. If my mother has gone crazy, at least she'll kill him first. Axel sighs, reaching for my hand and I grab onto his. It's a bit rougher than I remember it, though the warmth radiating from his palms comforts me. He smiles brightly before slipping away from me and going behind his brother, leaving me to follow them both. I'm glad I'm at the back, this way they won't see how damn nervous I am about all this (also, I'll die last if anything). Though, I'm sure Axel knows how I feel and he's probably just as worried. Reno knocks on the door, ringing the door bell a few hundred times obnoxiously. I roll my eyes before moving and taking my keys out.
"She's a little slow after the accident," I mumble, pushing the door open and letting them in. I watch Reno walk into the house, looking around just like Axel did the first time he was in the foyer. I get the same feeling watching Reno that I got while I watched Axel, only not as strongly. I mean, I don't really like the redhead, he looks rude and noisy but I won't make the same mistake again. So far, I don't like him and he made his distrust for me very clear, yet I'm not going to say a thing. I know Axel loves his brother, so if I were to do anything to him, I'm sure I'd blow this to hell all over again. I shift awkwardly as I hear my mother shuffling towards the entrance and finally, she appears with an embarrassed smile. I breathe a sigh of relief when I see she isn't covered in blood and wielding a hacksaw or something, though I knew she wouldn't have been. This isn't some cheap horror movie, no, it's much scarier than that.
"Sorry, I was in the basement," She explains and I almost swallow my tongue, choking on my spit. They all stare at me when I start coughing, but I manage to tell them I'm fine. My mother sends me a worried look before escorting all of us into the dining room. We all walk over, I of course going behind my mother, Axel and Reno. The redhead's brother is the first one in the kitchen, dropping himself at the head of the table and throwing his arm over the backrest. I wouldn't be surprised if he kicks his feet up too and maybe lights himself a cigarette. My mother looks at him, before offering them both something to drink. I guess the lunch isn't quite ready yet, so I take a seat awkwardly beside Axel. When Reno asks for a shot of hard liquor, my mother laughs happily then looks towards Axel just in time to see him shake his head. I can tell by the way he's sitting, all stiff in his chair that he isn't as comfortable with this as Reno. I guess my mother and his brother have a better relationship than I had guessed. That or Reno just doesn't give a damn. She turns to go into the kitchen and sends us all a smile "I'm not sure what we have Reno, but I'll go look for something. My bar tending skills are a little rusty," and with that she leaves us all here. I'm still beyond curious as to where this is going but my curiosity is caught by something else. Axel's hands intertwined on the table top, his once perfect, pale skin tinted gray and even black in some parts.
"What's up with your hands?" I finally blurt out and Axel looks surprised before staring down at the aforementioned appendages. He blushes slightly, which comes as a great shock to me because I don't think I've ever seen a blush on his cheeks, and if I have it was long ago and probably only once. My stomach flips and I feel myself starting to melt. He's so damn attractive, it shouldn't be allowed. He shouldn't be able to make me feel this damn pathetic just by blushing or smiling, or even breathing. He places his hands palm up and just looks at them. They look dirty, but I'm sure they aren't or at least I hope so. He's rubbing those things all over where I sit to eat dinner, so they better be clean.
"I work in a mechanic shop...s'car grease, shit don't come off easy," he turns them over again when my mom walks in carrying Reno's drink, distracting me from fully taking in this new information. She sets it in front of him before excusing herself again, stating that lunch is almost ready, so she has to get it set up. I watch her leave before standing up and going after her. I can feel both the redhead's watching me as I leave, so I rush to get out of their field of vision faster. If I want to know what's going on, I'm going to have to ask. I don't think I'll be able to sit through all of lunch with my stomach fluttery and nervous. I need to know what my mother is up to, so that I can swallow my food and calm my racing heart. I need to know she isn't going to go on some killing spree, or start another catastrophic fight. I must startle her when I walk in because she gasps, almost dropping the plates she'd gotten from a cupboard.
"Roxas!" She laughs when she realizes that her fear was misplaced and goes back to bustling around the kitchen. "I made your favorite sandwich, I thought it'd be nice..." The smell in here is enough to get my salivary glands juicing and I have to swallow before I speak, unless I want drool pouring all down my chin and shirt.
"Mom...what's going on?" My mother stops, placing a sandwich onto a plate before looking at me curiously. I have to keep my gaze straight and avoid looking at the triple decker chicken sandwich I'm going to be devouring in a few minutes but my stomach growls almost violently which makes it hard to concentrate. My mother has always made these delicious sandwiches, stuffed with chicken, bacon and a shit ton of other stuff. I've never asked what it all was specifically, all I know is that it tastes amazing. She turns to grab the other one, hesitating before turning back in my direction. She is avoiding looking right at me, so I cross my arms and persist. "Mom, why did you invite them here?"
"Just wait and see son, I'm sure you're going to love it," Her smile is just as radiant as the day she told me she was going to bring Axel home. I've heard this exact same explanation and from what I can remember, the last time she surprised me, I most certainly did not love it, or well not until all the self denial finally crumbled away and I grew used to the idea of having a crush on my adoptive brother.
"Yeah, 'cause I haven't heard that before..." I don't have anytime to dodge the whack my mother gives and I rub my sore arm as she glares at me. It doesn't hurt but I like to exaggerate. I'll never admit this again, and I most definitely will never agree when Naminé says I over exaggerate. She chuckles lightly before handing me two plates and telling me to shut up and take these to our guests while she gets Axel at least some water. I roll my eyes, turning and heading out. I hesitate behind the door, and lean my ear close to listen. I can hear them talking, and thanks to Reno's loud mouthedness, I can hear them perfectly.
"He's quite a hottie baby bro...must run in the family." I cringe, completely grossed out, but await Axel's reply eagerly. I mean, it helps keep my mind off the fact that Reno is hitting on both my mother and me. I don't know if he's seen my father or not, and I don't want to know. Still I want to hear what Axel has to say, and hopefully it doesn't involve my mother.
"Shut up Reno...'n don't yah look at him no more."
"Aww, why? Jealous? I mean, if you're gonna play hard to get," Reno stays quiet for a bit and I wonder just what he's doing, "...I'll tell yah, I won't," then he speaks and I hear him howl with laughter. It's a little hard to distinguish between their voices, both of them having the same accent and way of speaking, they sound almost like the same person. Reno's laughter is the one thing that's different, it's much more loud than Axel's. I bite my lip, trying not to make any sounds before I look back and see that my mother is still busy in the kitchen and hasn't noticed me eavesdropping on the Black brothers. She probably doesn't know Reno finds her attractive, which means she isn't going to be all awkward like me. I want to go back and tell her to bring out the food herself, but that wouldn't do any good. When we'd walk in, Reno could easily just stare at us both and it would be extra creepy. I turn my attention back to Axel and Reno, just catching on to Axel's sentence.
"I ain't playin' hard ta get alright? I'm just getting' over the hurt...is all, so back the fuck off," hearing Axel mention the pain I caused hurts me a little bit and I decide I don't want to hear anything else. I push my way into the dinning room bravely, almost dropping everything but Axel jumps up to help me. He takes both plates before setting one in front of his brother, who doesn't even wait before picking up the sandwich. I watch in horror as he opens it up and looks at the contents. I had always just shoved it into my mouth, never in my life did I open it.
"Gross...tomato," Reno plucks the vegetables out of the sandwich, leaving only the chicken, bacon and sauces. Axel stares at his brother in disbelief and I just sit, waiting for my mother to bring my food. I don't know about Reno, but my mother always told me to just eat whatever I was given when I was a guest in a house. The redhead has obviously never heard about this or is just that impolite and doesn't give a shit. When he looks up and see's Axel staring at him like he's commit blasphemy, he rolls his eyes. "I ain't eaten a vegetable in 10 years. Not gonna start now," I have to start laughing at that and by the time my mother comes with my food, Reno is finished. My mom looks down at the plate as she sets mine in front of me and moves to her seat.
When she sits, Axel dives right into his food, picking up the sandwich and biting off a huge chunk. "Did you enjoy the meal Reno?" She smiles brightly, picking up her knife and fork and moving to cut off a corner of her own sandwich. I never understood why my mother ate finger food with a fork but I guess I don't really care. Seeing her eat it any other way would weird me out. Reno laughs, telling her it was quite delicious only it would have been better with more meat. Deciding I don't want to hear them, I look towards Axel. I had forgotten the speed at which Axel eats, so it's a shock to me to find his plate empty when I look over to him. I've only taken a grand total of three bites, but both his halves are gone. I faintly catch my mother chatting about rent in the city with Reno, and Axel doesn't look like he's eager to jump in, so I strike up a conversation. Talking with him was so easy before all this, I want to see if it'll be the same.
"I guess you aren't going to school huh?" I ask, dropping my sandwich and reaching for the glasses of water my mother put on the table. Axel shakes his head with a grin.
"Book learnin' was never my thing. I always liked the hands on approach," I nod my head thoughtfully, picking up my sandwich before setting it back down without biting it. I look up at Axel and catch him staring at my head, the same way Olette and all the others do. I roll my eyes and ask him what's wrong.
"Seein' yah without that wild blonde nest on your head's a trip," he chuckles when I send him a nasty glare. I cover my head, the soft hair already growing back, so I don't know what all the fuss is about. In a few months, I'm sure I'll have all my hair present and accounted for, and besides, I had been about to get it trimmed. This way, it'll grow back and it'll be at least another year before I have to trim it. Axel's hair looks longer, the short layers he had when he first came are now all growing out, the frayed tips, resting just a little lower on his chest.
"Is it bad?" I ask, looking down at my plate because I don't want to see Axel's face when he answers. I can feel my blush forming darker the longer he takes to answer and when I can't take it anymore, I look up. He's staring at me but not with an expression I've ever seen on his face before. It's different, like some sort of longing. I can imagine the look on a child's face, after they see the one toy they've been wanting for years, only it's through a store window and so out of their reach. My own expression must be the same thing, because looking at Axel I feel like I'll never have him back. I miss him, holding him, and just having the knowledge that he's my boyfriend. I realize it more and more everyday, that having him as a boyfriend was something I took for granted. I should have been on his ass all day, every day...ugh, fucking brain. But in all seriousness, I should have enjoyed his company more. Yeah, that's what I had meant to say...
"No...yah look good...yah always look good to me," he says quietly, his lips turning into a soft, almost tender smile that sends cold shivers down my spine all the way into the tips of my toes. That blush on my face is in full bloom. I'm about to answer, when my mother calls Axel's name, taking his attention off of me and onto her. I won't lie, I wish his brother and my mom weren't in the room right now.
No brain, not just so I could kiss those beautiful lips of Axel's, but just to have more time to talk to him alone.
"I suppose you're wondering about that offer I had for you?" My mother smiles brightly, a little gleam in her eye that I do not trust. Axel shifts, his body turning to face my mom and Reno also tilts to get a better view of this whole thing. I notice I'm the only one with sandwich left, so I get busy eating, of course, keeping an ear on the conversation the whole time.
"Yeah, I'm curious Mrs. Strife," Axel says and I'm sure I'm the only one who senses the tension. I mean, I have to be because Reno and my mother are smiling. I get the feeling that while Axel and I were staring dreamily at each other, those two exchanged some information.
"Well you see, I'll be going away for a few months with my husband. What I'm worried about most in this house is my son, Roxas. If it weren't for him, I'd have no problem leaving for such a long period of time...the thing is, he's here and lord knows he cannot survive that long on his own, poor thing can't even cook for himself," They all send me a pitiful look and I glare, shoving more sandwich in my mouth. "The longest Cloud or I have been gone is a couple of weeks and I had been well enough to leave food already prepared. But with the accident, I can't get much work done. What I have to offer today, is that you come stay here and take care of him. I'd pay you, of course."
When my mother finishes, and everything sinks in. I choke, a piece of the crispy bacon flying into the back of my throat and scraping the shit out of my esophagus. I cough violently, my eyes tearing up and Axel reaches across the table to pat my back. When I stop coughing, they are all staring at me and I clear my throat a few times, take a sip of water and then freak the fuck out. "What do you mean you're leaving for a few months? Dad too? What the hell Mom? And...holy crap, I can survive on my own, I'm seventeen, I don't need a damn baby sitter!" I'm only mildly offended by this, but otherwise, I'm almost bursting with joy. If Axel says yes, he'll be staying with me...
Here both Axel and my mother laugh together, sharing a look that says 'Oh yeah, right!' before she keeps speaking, completely ignoring what I said, as if I'm just an annoying 5 year old speaking at the adult's table. "I know I wronged you Axel, and I told you over the telephone how sorry I am for being so close minded about this entire situation. I'd just really appreciate if you could give me a chance and do this for me...and for my son," My mom looks over to me and that gleam in her eye suggests she knows I could live on my own, if I really had to, but she thought this was a better idea. A part of me is dying, screaming in a fit of almost overwhelming joy while the other waits anxiously, for Axel to tell her to go fuck herself. When the redhead smiles, looking at my mom like she's crazy for thinking he'd ever hold anything against her, I'm a little jealous. I mean, he was mad at me and didn't even hear me out on the first try but with her, the slate is clean just like that. Then again, I can't blame him. My mother is just the type of woman you cannot hate for a long time, or well, except me. I think I can hold a grudge against anyone.
"Ah Mrs. Strife...I'd love ta help, especially after all yah did for me, but I have work..." Axel seems a little deflated until Reno straightens up and smirks like he's got an ace in his sleeve.
"No you don't, I already said you can take time off!" Reno looks at my mother, sticking his hand out and they shake on it. Axel just sits there quietly, looking like he can't believe this "Sara, Axel will be here first thing Monday mornin'," Reno stands up, stretching tiredly before announcing that he and his brother should head home. Apparently he has somethings to take care of at the shop and Axel has to start packing. My mother stands up, thanking them both thoroughly while I just sit here in shock.
It takes me until my mother walks back into the dinning room without two crazy redheads to realize that I am going to be spending a few months alone with Axel. My stomach clenches and my heart takes up this frantic beating. My mother is just watching me, leaning against the door frame with a little pleased smile on her face. "I can't bring him back to live here, but I hope this is alright," her smile stretches from ear to ear when I turn my head slowly, mouth hanging open as I stare with wide, wide eyes. "I want you two to make up for all the lost time. I know if I'd have been separated from your father at your age, I'd have gone insane...probably would have shaved off all of my hair too," She laughs as I shove myself away from the table, almost tripping over all the chairs in my haste to get to her and squeeze her guts out. I crash into her, then wrap my arms around her, and we both some how manage to stay balanced. She laughs more, resting her cheek on the top of my head, just taking in the warmth from my hug as I do the same. I cannot express how much this means to me in words, my mother is really something else. "I want this to show you both that I trust you and I want you both to be happy...you have my blessing with this Roxas. Now, all you have to do is patch everything up."
"Thank you mom, thank you so much! This is so much better than a horse!" She pulls away and just stares at me, completely lost but I can't answer, I'm smiling much too hard.
I haven't done any studying for exams and it's Sunday night, my first exam being tomorrow morning. The house is quiet because my mother is over at Aunt Betty's discussing whatever those two talk about when they are alone, so it should be easy to cram in all this peaceful silence. The problem is, ever since I had that close encounter with that creep, I feel paranoid about being all alone, even if I'm inside my house. I can feel his eyes on me, even if I know he's not around. I can still feel the tight grip he had on my junk, and the faint pain always comes back with the nausea and disgust. I look over my shoulder, staring out into the dark hallway and wonder just why the hell I didn't close the door. I get up quickly, staying where my laptop screen illuminates the floor then I slam the door shut. The room is still pretty dark, so I flick the light on. It doesn't make me feel any better, so I drop onto the bed and curl up in the sheets. I remember the warm wetness that was all over my neck as he licked it, and the way my skin felt dirty wherever his hands touched. I don't know why I even stopped, I should have just kept walking. I shiver, pulling the sheets tighter around my body, trying to will away the flashbacks. I can hear him chasing me, the steady thumping of his boots and the way he screamed out after me. My heart is pounding in my chest and when a loud knock rattles the door, I scream like a banshee.
Sora and Riku burst in through the door, Sora looking more worried than his companion. Riku's face is a blank, expressionless thing, until he finds me terrified and huddled on the bed. Then he gets this sick smirk on his face, like he's glad I'm so scared of being alone or something. I hate him all over again, fuck any kind of bonding that happened between us, he's a damn dick head. My cousin comes and rips the sheets away from my body, looking at me like I'm crazy. "What's wrong?" he examines my face and torso, almost as if he's searching for what made me scream.
"Nothing, you just scared me," I huff, sitting up and sending them both a look. My mother always forgets to lock a window or something, which is how they always end up back in here even if I don't want them. Sora sits at the desk and flips through the text book, until getting bored half a minute into it. Riku is just leaning against the wall furthest from me, texting on his phone. I curse the day Aunt Betty bought it for him, I really do. I'd like it if he had to stand there awkwardly, having no one to talk to. I know it's mean, but it'd make me feel good.
"We came over to help you study!"
"You did, not me..." Riku growls from his spot and both my cousin and I glare at him.
"Then leave," I spit out angrily and Riku looks away from his phone, the look in his eyes screaming death when they connect with mine. I get the feeling he realizes that the hatred is mutual.
"For fucking serious? Fine," He pushes himself off the wall and starts towards the door, until Sora jumps up and stops him.
"Riku, don't go and Roxas shut up." My cousin looks at both of us, putting his hands on his hips like the total queer bag he is. I watch him, before reaching for the sheets and wrapping myself up like a burrito again. I want to stop feeling those ghost hands, those frightening touches that are constantly whispering over my skin, making me feel sick. It's like a hang over that doesn't go away, like a constant nightmare playing in my mind's eye, covering me in a cold sweat. "You guys need to start getting along, it's really wearing me down..."
"I'm not gonna get along with a brat like him," Riku motions towards me with his chin and I glare through all my blankets.
"I don't want to get along with a douche nozzle like you!" My cousin has to step in before the insults really start flying and he rubs the bridge of his nose. For once, Sora is being the grown up one about this and it's about fucking time. Riku is about to say something when my cousin tells him to shut up again. It's amazing, it's almost like he sensed the words before they even came out of the jerk's mouth.
"Why can't you guys just drop it? Axel and Roxas are fine now, he's even coming to stay for a few months. If Axel can forget what Roxas did, so can you Riku...or what, did it scar you emotionally?" My cousin crosses his arms over his chest and this is when I notice he has a tiny stack of papers stapled together in his hand, like a little booklet. I stare at it, not being able to see exactly what's written on it, but I can tell it's from a computer. I look up, just noticing that Sora is informed of Axel's baby sitting job and I scrunch my eyebrows.
"How the hell do you know about that?" I ask and my cousin looks away from Riku and I get the feeling I just saved the stupid jerk a little more time before Sora turns and wails on him for holding this grudge.
"I heard mom and Aunt Sara talking about it, your mom really wants you to be happy." Sora smiles at me, looking like he wants me to know this. I do know, but I just find it hard to act as if nothing happened. I'll admit, it's getting easier every day but sometimes I do remember. I'll always love my mom and eventually, it'll be good. But as long as I remember it, eh. Sora turns away from me and faces Riku again, taking up his fighting stance. Riku groans and I just tune them out. I don't listen to them as they take up their previous argument, Sora flailing his arms around wildly while Riku does the same thing. All I can hear is 'Well oh my god', 'excuuuuse me!', 'For fucking serious?', and so on and so forth. I honestly have no idea what they are arguing about.
I roll out of the bed and walk towards my computer and when I sit, the room goes quiet. I wait for a few minutes, just to see if the argument will start up again but instead I hear a soft grunt, and the sound of something thumping into the wall. I get a horrible feeling but I still turn around. I'd say I'm surprised but I'm not. I've come to realize this is how Riku and Sora's arguments always end. My cousin pinned to a wall, having the life sucked right out of him by way of Riku's tongue. Just when I get the feeling they're going to start ripping their clothes off, my cousin pulls away from his boyfriend's mouth with a wet pop and a gasp. "Roxas...I...got something for you," he says this while shoving Riku away and walking towards me. I try not to stare at his kiss bruised lips, but they are so damn red it's a little distracting. I mean, I could have done just fine without seeing that, I really could have. Riku's taken up leaning on the wall again, looking satisfied, at least for a little while.
My attention goes back to my cousin when he slams the little booklet onto my desk and I read what the first page says. "SORA, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!" My eyes are glued to the white sheet of paper, with nothing but black, Times New Roman font in the center, spelling out 'Anal Sex and You'. I sputter, looking at the page like it's going to jump off the desk and attack me. Sora grabs the booklet and flips it open before looking at me.
"I thought you'd need some tips, you know...seeing as Axel is gonna be here with you, all alone for a while," My cousin does that stupid nudgenude winkwink thing and I think I'm about to hit him. I blink a few times, trying to relax and not rip the booklet into a million pieces. It would be a waste of trees, but it's so tempting to make him eat the torn pieces.
"Sora, you do realize we had this massive fight. I doubt sex is even on his mind."
"Nonsense! Sex is always on people's minds, men think about it every 52 seconds!" I look at Sora skeptically and he just flips through the booklet, and I try to ignore Riku chuckling in the background. I am actually terrified to read what's written on those pages, and when my cousin looks up and clears his throat, I don't know if I should listen or cover my ears and start screaming. "If you are not relaxed and your partner is too hasty or urgent, then you can be torn, the technical term is an anal fissure, or you can feel agonies from a large object being inserted too fast." I look at my cousin in horror, not believing that he is actually going to read this book to me. "It's very serious Roxas. Shitting with a torn asshole is probably worse than having a fucking baby!" I don't want to think about how my cousin knows this, I don't want to know anything about his asshole or about anything that's gone into it. I hope he can see this all written clearly on my face, but he doesn't. He just keeps talking, "I mean, if you think a good amount of spit will do it...it won't. Sounds hot and everything, but spit will NOT get you ready. Do you understand?" He looks at me so seriously, I'm thrown off for a second and I nod. "Perfect, now..." I watch him slowly reach into his hoodie's pouch and pull out a bottle, which kind of looks like a baby's bottle but instead of having the little nipple thing, it has this long nozzle. I stare at it confused and when Riku looks up and see's what my cousin is holding, he bursts out laughing.
"This is the part where I leave," Riku announces, turning and walking out of the room. My cousin looks back over his shoulder and waits for Riku to close the door and it confuses me because just a minute ago he was yelling at Riku to stay. I watch my cousin, my heart beating in fear more than anything and he turns back to look at me with a smile, a smile I do not trust. I'm not entirely sure what that thing in his hand is and I open my mouth to ask, but he shakes his head and tells me to be quiet.
"Okay Roxas, this is an enema..." I stand up here and look at him like he's finally lost his mind. I'm shaking my head so vigorously, I can't see anything in the room.
"No, no, no, no Sora!" When I stop shaking my head and look at my cousin, he's still holding the fucking enema. I look around the room, trying to find a corner where I can throw myself and disappear but my cousin cuts me off before I run away.
"Look Roxas, it's not so bad! You're being a baby!"
"No, I'm not! I'm not going to squirt water up my ass then shit it out! No way in hell Sora!" My cousin looks like he wants to laugh but he holds it in quite well. Instead he clears his throat and puts the enema on the computer desk. I stare at it like it's a freaking ticking bomb and inch away from it. My cousin calmly sits down, crossing his legs and stares at me with a leveled gaze. The booklet is still clutched in his other hand and I feel like a child, while their parent scolds them for not taking a bath. Sora sizes me up and I feel violated as his bright eyes roam up and down my body before finally stopping at my face.
"I guess you like being gross then," he says this with such a snobby air, he almost reminds me of the girls that attend Kings Hart. I stare at him like he just insulted me because, well, he did. I do not like being gross or dirty, in fact I'd consider myself pretty hygienic but there is no way in hell that I am going to shove that thing in my asshole. Sora must have hit his head or something on the way in if he even thought suggesting this would be okay. "Roxas it's a part of being gay. You gotta clean yourself yanno, like a girl's gotta take care of her shit. Us takers have gotta keep ourselves fresh!" For a split second, my brain understands and even agrees with Sora, but I stop the traitor right in it's tracks. I. Am. Not. Using. A. Fucking. Enema.
"What if Axel and I don't even..." I feel my mind lag as soon as I think about Axel. As soon as his face comes up, my brain turns to mush. A alarmingly large part of my brain, which can be very persuasive even in this liquified state, is telling me that in the next coming months, I'm going to want to do something more than just kiss Axel. I've had enough damn dreams about it and I've definitely thought about it a lot. Not every 52 seconds though, but enough for it to count and who knows, maybe Axel will give in. Maybe he wants this just as bad as I do. I just wish real sex was like it is in my dreams, clean, easy and enema free. "I mean...he's pretty upset..." this takes me back to the strong reluctance. I'm not doing an enema for no freaking reason.
"If you don't do anything, your asshole will still be clean...but I've got a pretty good feeling you two won't resist," My cousin gives me a little wink before he stands up, leaving the booklet and the enema on my desk. He looks down at the objects before raising his eyes to look at me, his little smile slightly unnerving. "You don't have to use the enema...you can clean it normally but, it's not as thorough. I'll leave these here...you know...just in case," and with that he wishes me luck in my studies and leaves the room. When I'm sure he's gone, I walk towards the things tentatively, staring at them with a look akin to horror.
I guess Sora does have a point. Even if Axel and I don't do anything...I'll be cleaned out but, fuck, it's so damn awkward and weird. I pick up the little bottle and turn it over in my hands, feeling the soft squishy plastic before putting it back down again. It's like a fucking rubber turkey baster with a big handle. I know what Sora said is true and that somewhere down the line, if I ever want to rid myself of my virginity, an enema will have to be done but it just grosses me out. I mean, I'll have to be 100% sure I'm going to get laid. What if we're all just jumping to conclusions? I'm not sure Axel wants a relationship with me again now that we live pretty far, so why should I go through the embarrassment of an enema? Why am I even thinking about this so much?
I sigh deeply through my nose, dropping into my computer chair and just stare at my laptop. My brain sneers that I'm being pretty immature about this whole thing and I groan, closing the computer and trying not to look at the booklet or the enema. Immature or not, I don't think I can actually do this. I mean, how the hell would I even go about it? My eyes slowly slip towards the contents on my desk until I can't take the curiosity and I flip open the little guide. 'Hey Roxas, I wrote this for you. I even did research to be super accurate. Directions for the enema are at the back, call if you need help cuz.' - Sora ;)
I guess there's no harm in reading this, I mean, if he did go through all this work. It's the proper cousin thing to do...though if I do anything, I'm not calling for a second set of hands. I flip to the next page and hold my breath, the title...Preparation. Oh dear Christ.
A/N: This is personally my favorite chapter. I love everything that happens, and I feel that it's humor makes up for the angst in the previous chapters.
I hope you guys like it, and enjoy the 6,994 words this stole from my brain. This chapter took me around 2 1/2 days. I spent my sick day finishing it up, and researching enemas and anal sex.
Wow, sounds a lot weirder than it did in my head xD
Sora likes his cousin to be informed. He's thorough like that.
Also, who else enjoys the image of a long haired Axel covered in motor oil, in one of those little mechanic's jump suits. Worn just around his waist, of course.
Ohhh yeah. I totz should squeeze in a little segment about Roxas fantasizing about that ;D
Okay guys, I love you all and thanks for reading this!
-Sharmander the dragon