Chapter 37
ERIK
I was starting to lose my patience by that time. I heard no news of Mozart for a few weeks and I worried about the worst of possibilities. What if this miserable little creature could not bear the stress any more and died? I knew I had to find out immediately. It was so annoying to lose that stupid girl because of her own fault. Thankfully she was stupid enough to write a letter to the Mozarts, full of mysterious hints about some business she was ashamed of and said good bye, so the police closed the case of the girl found in Danube as obvious suicide due to unwanted pregnancy. I did not even have to take further steps in making things easier for me to get out of this issue clean- my name did not even appear in it. It is all very fine, but I lost my best way of keeping in touch with Mozart and control what he is doing without any personal contact.
I wasn't sure what to do, I did not dare to wear my Masquerade costume at daylight in the middle of July, so I just put on a full dark gray costume and my hat that completely covers my eyes from foreign curious glances and my fake nose with mustache. I also put on some make up under my eyes to make it look more normal. I found my costume good enough to go outside and I went to Mozart's last address I knew. To my horror, the host told me he has moved out two weeks before, but he was very mad at him, yelling to me Mozart owed him 3 months of rent, and he can't even get him because he did not know his new address.
I was wandering aimlessly and annoyed for a while when I noticed a carriage in front of a very poor looking house and a violin case up on the roof with the suitcases. I don't think many musicians would travel from here... other than Mozart. The street could not have looked more miserable. It was the poor quarter of Vienna, lots of dirt, beggars, trash and hopelessness. Everything was gray from dust. Even people's faces were gray, from sickness. Many sick people lived here due to the bad conditions they had to suffer day by day. The house with the carriage looked a bit of better, but it was nowhere near the ones he used to live in.
I was right. Not much time passed when I saw Mozart hurrying out of the house with a younger man, and ran towards the carriage. Where the Hell he wants to flee? Where is my Requiem? He thinks he can avoid his fate?
MOZART
Mozart! Mozart! - I turned back in horror, and I saw a man in all gray, wearing a hat that did not allow me to see his eyes.
Yes? - I whispered and cleared my throat.
Where are you going? - a threatening and suspicious voice came from those thin lips under the grayish black mustache.
My Master got an opera commission from His Majesty, the Emperor. We are traveling to Prague. - Süssmayr answered instead of me when he saw my utter horror making me unable to reply.
And what about the Work we made a deal about? Hm? - the man leaned closer to me, and I was slapped by the breeze of Death himself. He had smell of Death I knew I already sensed this before.
I... I have to go to Prague now to teach and... conduct my new Opera... but I am going back here in Vienna in the middle of September. I promise... please...
Good. - the man did not sound pleased as a sigh of disappointment left his lips and he murmured something else under his breath I could not understand. - But we will see each other again then. Don't forget.
I... I won't. -I moaned softly, biting my lips. The next moment when I opened my eyes, the man was nowhere.
I excitedly ordered Süssmayr to run and search for him, I wanted to know where he lives. Now that we met on the streets, he has less chance of getting out of my hands, and I at least will have a clue of who is harassing me constantly. The boy jumped off of the carriage and ran to the direction he last saw the figure.
He arrived back after half an hour, wheezing, shaking his head in despair. When he finally gained his voice back, he said
I'm sorry, Master, but... I was unable to find him. He escaped. I was in his heels till the corner of Schulerstrasse, but at that point he suddenly disappeared and I could not find him again.
Disappeared! - I cried out in sudden fury.- Everyone can disappear so unexpectedly and suddenly here in Vienna! What a goddamned miracle! Everyone harasses me then disappears. Even my wife disappears! - I was so helpless and mad that I was hitting poor Süssmayr with the bunch of sheet music papers I held, and stepped on his feet. The coachman, my dear and faithful Josef, hurried there to try to calm me down.
Mein Herr, please calm down. Please there is nothing wrong, we will go to Prague now and maybe the Frau will be home by the time we arrive back. - while this, Süssmayr hurried back in the coach before I could harm him more and he found it better not to say a single word any more.
And this stranger? He will be back too! I...
No, we are not thinking of this right now, Herr, we are sitting calm in the coach and we drink some good wine, and... I know what you need. Look, I brought you some good tobacco in your pipe. I know it relaxes you.
Josef... oh, I don't know what would I do without...
Herr Mozart!- I heard a different voice behind my back now and I turned around to see another stranger man. I nearly fainted, Josef had to hold me.
A stranger disappears... now another reappears! I don't want to see these shadows! He was gray, now this one is completely black!
THE PERSIAN
Please forgive me for scaring you, Good Sir. I know that you are very scared right now, and I know you have serious issues around you right now, but I can help you. - I walked closer to young Mozart who seemed to be completely insane, shaking with fear. The man who held him made him sit down in the coach and went to the nearby pub for a drink to revive him. I found it a very good idea as the poor man was nearly unconscious.
Here, Mein Herr, please drink this it will be good for you. - the man gave the glass of stronger liquor in Mozart's trembling hands. While he drank, I tried to calm him a bit and I repeated I could help him with his problems.
I have an idea who that man was, and I know you are in danger if you do what he says.
Let's go Michael. We are already late. - Mozart let out a tired sigh after he finished drinking.
Herr Mozart please listen to me, I would like to offer my help! - I tried to approach him more, but the man stood in the way.
Please, I don't know who you are but I do know that my Master isn't feeling good enough to talk to you right now. And he is right, we are late. We have to hurry to Prague, so I ask you to search Herr Mozart when we will back in Vienna. That will be better for him. - the man jumped in the coach too and cried to the coachman. - Drive, Michael!
I gazed upon the carriage until it disappeared, and scratched my head in annoyance and frustration. I know Mozart wasn't feeling well, but I was hurt that he only treated me like a shadow. It was clear that he had now problems in making a difference between imagination and reality. He wasn't already sure if it is just him hallucinating things or they really happened, and this is a sure sign of mental disharmony and he is showing clear signs of distress. I was afraid I couldn't help him any more. Maybe it was too late?
ERIK
The whole Court Orchestra and the opera singers got an order to follow His Majesty to Prague, including me of course, as First Court Conductor and Composer. I also heard the shocking news that we are performing Mozart's opera, La Clemenza di Tito*. Also to my disbelief, he took my place to teach and conduct his opera. They say he was very disgraceful with the Emperor, saying that he isn't giving the music score to anyone else. He even called me dilettante without realizing it was me whom he insulted. It is not that I did not have a job because of him, because I had many pieces to teach and conduct, most of them were my own, but I was simply mad at Mozart for being this disgraceful to everyone he didn't agree with. His rude opinions about anyone he disliked made my palm itchy many times.
Catherina had to come too, of course. I did not really have the time to take care of her so I just left her be. She was strange many times, wanting to follow me, but I just thought she was feeling guilty over her actions in the past, so she could not make me touched. It requires time to make me forget what she and Mozart did to me. I was sure she did never love me, just was afraid if she did not behave I will kill Mozart. She did not know it was already irrespective of her. I will kill Mozart anyway. But it would have felt good if she said she loved me. Maybe once I would have believed her. But she only tried once. I did not believe her and she stopped saying it. It shows well that she did not mean it.
She got the lead role in Mozart's opera, but she got one in mine too, so I wasn't worried they will be alone too soon- Catherina had not much free time, if any.
Prague and the new experiences made Mozart look better in two weeks than how he looked when he left Vienna. I knew however that this is only temporary. He was just in good mood for a time, he had good company around him, he could practice his old hobbies, so of course he was feeling better. But I knew from his glance and the pale shade of his cheeks that he will be just as sick as he used to when he returns to Vienna. The secret worm is already in his body and soul and will keep up the good work. The Requiem has to be done in a few months. He simply has no more time.
CATHERINA
It was a joy to see Wolfgang again. He wasn't even sad like the other times I saw him, so I ran to greet him. He smiled widely and invited me for a Musette, but after we ended up dancing a few rounds together.
It has been long months. - he smiled and put his hand on my shoulder. - How have you been doing my darling?
I am fine. - I giggled like a naughty child. - And you?
I haven't been feeling good for a few months lately. - he replied without emotions, but I could see he did not want to talk about what was bothering him. His eyes did not reflect anything for a few seconds but when I looked at him worriedly he smiled again. - But it is in the past, and I feel like I am reborn here.
I am glad to hear this. And... how is your family?
I... don't know much about them. - he shook his head in embarrassment, and waved. - My wife feels better in Baden.
Does she? - I gasped and I looked him up and down worriedly.
I am okay. Don't worry. - He gave me a bit of bittersweet smile and kissed my cheeks. - Away with this all worry and sadness. I don't care about it! You know? We should go and enjoy ourselves.
How? - I laughed while he was dragging me through the ballroom.
Like this. - Wolfgang poured me a glass of champagne.
Oh, I don't really drink...- I hesitated, and did not want to hold the glass.
Come on, don't be such a crybaby. You always shit yourself with worry when it comes to drinking and having fun.
Well...
Don't make me ask you again, or I will pull your skirt up in front of everyone.
Oh you... you have changed nothing. - I burst out in laughter, drinking my champagne.
I don't know what was going on after, as that first glass was followed by many others. I only know we had much fun. And the only sure thing was we woke up next to each other in the same bed in my room when we heard a forceful knock on the door a bit after 3 in the afternoon the next day. I hurriedly put on my clothes and blew a kiss to Wolfgang who was getting dressed in hurry too.
I don't regret anything. - I smiled at him and put on my hat.
Me neither. - he winked, putting his cravat right.
MOZART
No matter the good parties and the nice companion, and even the nights full of love I have spent with Catherina in Prague, I was soon all sad again.
It started with I got a letter. Josef gave it to me with the morning coffee one day. There was my Viennese address on the envelope it was sent after me. As I saw Stanze's handwriting I was feeling guilty. I did not write to her at all. I am ashamed to admit that I was mad at her. I did not realize that she left because of my fault and I was too stubborn to apologize, I rather did chose being mad and ignore her... and my own son. I had fun with Catherina night by night, forgetting about I had an own family to take care of and love.
I opened the envelope wet from sweat of my palm, and took a deep breath.
My dear Wolfie, I am not sure what we have ruined in our marriage that it ended up the way it did. I am not accusing you, telling it was you who made mistakes. I am sure I had my fair share of mistakes as well. It is not important right now. The important thing is we should work on our relationship. I don't know if you still want to live with us, or you are feeling good alone. I don't want to force anything on you, so if you say these nearly nine years were enough for you with me, I will stay here in Baden with the children. Please reply soon, or even better would be if you came here. Love, Your wife, Stanze and your sons.
But if you see any chance of us being a normal family again and love me still, I think we should try to salvage our love and be together. I admit that I do miss you very much and so does Karl. I love you still and always will.
On 26th July your youngest child, a boy named Franz Xaver Wolfgang was born. The childbirth went well and the boy is healthy. Maybe you already heard that. And maybe you heard that boy might not be yours, by many malicious people. I have a proof that he is your son, he has the same deformity on his ear as you do.
It would be good if you could at least see him, and we could talk about our future with or without you- I would so love to see you.
I was so excited to hear about my son's birth, and so touched about Stanze's confession of love to me. I also felt ashamed that it is her writing it to me, when I should do this to her. To be honest, I was suspicious about this newborn's origins earlier, I haven't heard the rumors, but I felt Stanze told too soon about her pregnancy after I arrived back from my concert tour. But this reason Stanze mentioned in her letter made it clear for me that I was wrong.
That was the only deformity I had- a cartilage was missing from my left ear, making it look very different than the ordinary human ear. I always had to cover it with my wig or my hair, so other people never noticed it, only my wife and my parents knew my secret deformity. I knew Stanze was honest with me and I felt I had to save my family.
I invited Catherina that evening to talk to her honestly. She came with joy and sat down to my desk where I showed her a chair to take a seat.
Is... something wrong? - she asked worriedly, looking at my serious expression.
I have to apologize to you. - I nodded.
What for?
Because I have been acting without thinking.
Why do you say that? What... what do you mean? - she turned around in disbelief, trying to catch eye contact with me. I did not let her.
Because you know very well just as I do that we should have never done what we did several times. Look, I like you and you are very sweet girl. You should have never met me in the first place. I am a Don Juan, and I chase women. And now I should go to Hell like my opera hero, if I don't save my family.
Your family?
Yes. I need to go back to my wife and my sons as they need me. I have to be a husband and father in the first place. They need me and I need them.
An uncomfortable silence sat on the room for minutes. She was staring at me for a while then threw a bottle of ink on me all of a sudden.
Filthy pig! Jerk! You were only playing with me for a few weeks and I went to your bed and... and I made everything you desired! I thought you loved me and finally you think seriously about us!
There was a time, but my feelings have changed.
You change them too often!- she stormed out of the room and slammed the door.
CATHERINA
All I want is someone to love me. All I seek is a little care and attention. I love two men and neither of them seem to love me. Erik does not care about me at all any more, all he cares about is music and planning out things I can never understand. Wolfgang suddenly has morals and goes back to his family. I am so much alone on this world. If only someone said he loves me...
ERIK
Vienna, 15th September, 1791
Thank God, Mozart's opera was a total failure in Prague. It only survived 3 performances, and Emperor Leopold did not like it at all. I got a medal for my opera I wrote for the occasion, and was called the greatest composer ever by His Majesty. The little Child Prodigy wasn't really mentioned. I don't like child prodigies. I know I was one too. Who said I like myself?
Anyway, Mozart was rather sad when he got paid that ridiculously little amount of money for his opera and I heard he went home with his wife and two children in Vienna. One of my good friends said however that he had seen Mozart several times in the Hungarian Crown, writing some kind of sheet music from that time. It is not that a pleasant little idyllic family any more. He was also reported to hang out with that old friend of his, Schikaneder, who owned that vaudeville theater... what a pity for the little shining star of Europe... I let out a sarcastic laughter hearing this news.
But... where is my Requiem?