AN : Someone reviewed mentioning how they though I made a joke out of suicide. I know I PM'd you, but I wanted to put this out there for those who may have felt the same too. My intention was NEVER to make a joke out of suicide. It's something that hits close to home for me, and there is absolutely nothing funny about it. so I am sorry if it came out that way. But thank you for expressing your concerns, I do appreciate even that.
The year 2007 and started off torturous for Jane and Maura, but by the end of it, it turned out to be the best year of their lives. Maura had begun it in New Zealand, shattered as ever. Jane had started it in a loveless relationship with Casey. Before things got irreversibly out of hand, the two were reunited and were graced with the chance to begin their romance in a place away from all the chaos. From that point, things got peachier and peachier. Their home was a place filled with love and happiness. They respected each other, and sought solace in one another. They were a pillar of strength for each other whenever warranted, and there was nothing they didn't do together.
The turmoil Maura was going through over a job was soon taken care of. With the surprising help of her mother, she landed a job similar to the one she had in New Zealand. There was a wonderful private school in a neighbourhood close to theirs where she was given the opportunity to do what she found out she loved. It took her two months to complete a training course and by the end of October she was an assistant kindergarten teacher.
Who would have guessed that Maura Isles, the socially awkward Chief Medical Examiner of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts would one day be spending hours in a room full of noisy 5year olds. But she wouldn't trade it for anything. She loved every single bit of. Exhausting as it was, she liked it.
The adjusting process hadn't gone by without hiccups. Jane had unknowingly gotten used to Maura's permanent 'house status', and it caused a little friction in the beginning. It wasn't anything they couldn't get over though; it was just a matter of adjusting. The morning breakfasts together were no longer a daily occurrence, so were the lunch dates. Even Korsak and Frost sulked from not getting the frequent lunch bags Maura brought. Then at the end of the day they both got home and there was no dinner waiting. But they pulled through, and fell into a habit soon enough.
Jane was good at her job for a reason. And it didn't go unnoticed how Maura kept talking about the children. It wasn't just about the job. It was about them too. Maura wanted a child. The problem was that she didn't know how to broach the subject. Things had been going so well between her and Jane and she was afraid of potentially ruining it. Jane had long ago expressed her desire to have children with Maura, but logically speaking that had to be done under ideal circumstances. As it was, the circumstances were not pleasant enough.
They had passed the phase of adjusting to living together. Then there was the new job for Maura. And the major issue was that Jane had been promoted to Sergeant Detective Rizzoli. That title came with a little more baggage, and fitting a child in was just not the smart move. Not to mention the fact that they weren't even married yet. The sad thing was that Maura knew all this, and she understood it. But it didn't change the fact that she wanted a child.
''Remember you promised me'', Jane spoke quietly in the dark room. It had been the first weekend of January. There had been the promotion, then the celebration. Shortly after it was Thanksgiving, then Frankie and Tommy's girlfriend's birthdays. Then Christmas came about – a very big affair for the Rizzoli's. Maura's parents had for the first time flown to Boston to spend the holidays. The Isles' had actually spent two full days at Jane and Maura's home. Then New Year came. There was no time to breathe, but Jane saw the tiny glint of dissatisfaction in Maura's eyes. She knew nothing if she didn't know her girlfriend.
''I promised you lots of things Jane. What exactly are you referring to in this instance'', Maura responded in the same cool tone.
''You promised me you would tell me. Anything and everything''
''I know'', Maura replied with a sigh.
''I am helpless if I don't know Maura. I can tell when something is not right. And I know it isn't right now. But what I can't pinpoint is the exact problem''
''I know'', Maura said again, starting to sound a little like a broken record.
''So when do you think I will deserve to know?''
Jane was spooning Maura as they lay in bed that night, so Maura reached out to turn the side lamp on and when she laid back down she turned to face Jane.
''I am not happy with myself'', Maura began.
That was not what Jane expected to hear. So she just looked at Maura and waited for her to elaborate.
''I have everything I have ever wanted in my life. I have a relationship with my parents, I have friends, and a woman who loves me with all she has'', Maura was becoming very teary already.
''So why are you not happy with yourself?'', Jane asked gently, caressing Maura's hip with one hand.
''Because I want something I shouldn't be wishing for right now''
Jane swallowed thickly, ''A baby''. She saw the shock on Maura's face. ''I could tell. I wasn't a hundred per cent sure, and I also didn't know why you just weren't telling me''
''Oh Jane. I am so sorry. I know it's greedy and-''
''Stop Maura, please. It's not greedy''
''Then what is it?'', she asked through the tears.
''When you love someone, and you live together, its probably then next natural step to take right''
''Then why am I feeling selfish?'', Maura continued to sob.
''Because you know it isn't the right time. Not in the sense that it is too soon, but because of our present lives '', Jane hoped it sounded gentle and reassuring enough. Maura nodded her understanding. ''I promised to give you everything you want. I don't want to take a short cut Maura. Look at me'', she demanded when she saw the blonde avert her eyes. ''I don't want to bring a child into this home while I'm running around chasing perps and hoping not to be shot. I don't want to have a child I won't be able to put to bed. I don't want to fight with you because things aren't working. And I know it's selfish, but I just wanted a little more time between just the two of us''
Maura was openly and loudly sobbing. Jane embraced her tightly leaving kissed to her temple.
''I'm sorry I didn't talk to you before''
''Its ok baby'', Jane whispered. ''it's fine''
''When is the right time?'', Maura asked when her crying had subsided.
''After I marry you''
All the air was knocked out of Maura's lungs and she could not say a word. She just kissed Jane, pouring all the love and understanding she felt for the woman into the kiss.
It was their first Valentine's Day together. Maura was beside herself for the whole week pending the day. It was funny when she thought about it, but the last time she had bought a Valentine's gift for anyone it was a boyfriend she had when she was sixteen. The years that followed landed her with no lover whenever the day approached. She could have asked around, but she wanted the gift to be her idea. She knew Jane wasn't mushy and things like flowers and chocolates were not going to do it. Jane preferred more practical things. Gifts she could actually use. So Maura had wrecked her brain for days until she found the perfect things for the detective. Granted it was over the top, but she didn't really care. In fact, she wasn't quite sure if it was a little too much. So after a painful headache she decided to just go with it.
Jane had spent the week dealing with a difficult triple homicide and had been exhausted every day when she got home. Maura was resigned to the fact that they wouldn't do much on the day as it was. It was on a weekday, Jane would be busy, and she most likely wouldn't have got the time to get or plan anything. Maura wasn't too bothered anyway, the day never meant much to her. But then there was something about being with Jane that just kind of made it important. At the end of the day, the blonde would be content with a good love-making session and some cuddling afterwards.
So when the case was closed a day prior, Jane was elated. She got her gift for Maura and planned something simple. She knew Maura would understand.
In the morning, Jane woke up to the sound of Maura's very loud singing in the kitchen. '' I don't want anybody else. When I think about you, I touch myself. Ooh I don't want anybody else Oh no,oh no,….''
It was loud, Jane could clearly hear it from upstairs and she couldn't help laughing out loud at the ridiculous lyrics. Maura seemed to be having the time of her life. ''….You're the one who makes me come running. You're the sun who makes me shine. When you're around I'm always laughing. I want to make you mine …I close my eyes, And see you before me .Think I would die If you were to ignore me. A fool could see, Just how much I adore you. I get down on my knees I do anything for you….''
Jane brushed her teeth quickly and made her way to the kitchen. The sight before her was Valentine's gift enough. Maura had the refrigerator door open scanning for something she seemed to have forgotten she was even looking for. The blonde was swaying her hips side to side, going down and up against the door. She looked like a pole dancer and Jane's laugh sold her away.
''Heyyyyy, how long have you been watching me?''
''Long enough to know that you have a lot of hope in the dancing industry'', Jane smirked. ''come here''.
Jane pulled her into a heated kissed. ''I missed you over the last week. I've been very busy and I'm sorry. Happy Valentine's Day my love''
''Happy Valentine's to you too''. They kissed some more. It was very clear where the kiss was headed, and after a week of no sex, Maura wasn't about to halt any action. She reached for the stove and turned it off. Jane swiftly lifted her off the floor and sat her on the kitchen counter top.
''I never noticed how expanse these counter tops are'', the words came out as moan from Maura's lips. Jane wouldn't give her the time of day to speak properly. Maura's one piece nighty was off in no time at all.
''I wanted to do this all week…''
''Me too'', Maura moaned again.
Jane had moved to attack Maura's neck and breasts. Their hips were already grinding into each other. Maura disrobed Jane with great difficulty, trying to feel as much skin as possible. It was quite the satisfaction – feeling their bare breasts rubbing into each other. Maura discreetly directed Jane's hand to the throbbing wetness between her thighs.
No more words were exchanged as Jane plunged her fingers in Maura's sex. It was all Maura could do not to cum right away. Jane knew exactly what to touch, and how to touch it. It didn't take long before Maura was writhing into oblivion on the kitchen counter top.
Jane picked the nighty and put it back onto her girlfriend's body. ''You have a wicked after sex look''. Maura chuckled; she didn't know how to follow up. Jane left the kitchen and re-emerged a minute later with a gift in hand. Maura was sitting still in the same place Jane had left her. ''I'm sorry we don't have a child right this moment. But until we do, I hope she will do'', Jane handed Maura a huge brown teddy bear. It was so soft and had the words 'I love you' on its stomach. When Maura took the teddy Jane handed her a card. With Shaky hands, Maura opened it.
To Maura, the love of my life
Today marks our first Valentine's Day together. I hope we remember it for the rest of our lives. Thank you for showing me a love so great. Thank you for your patience and kindness. I love you, so much…
Jane
Again with the waterworks – Maura cried. She hugged the teddy dearly. ''Thank you Jane. I love it''
When Jane appeared to be walking away to finish off breakfast, Maura grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back. ''you gift is outside''
''Outside?'', Jane looked mortified as she made her way to the door.
In the cold dry air, Jane saw parked on their driveway a brand new white Range Rover. It had a small bow tie and what appeared to be a card stuck on the hood.
''Holy fuck! Maura!'', Jane was surprised to find Maura standing right beside her already.
''I figured you could use a car that fits your title. I never got you a gift for your promotion and I thought a car would be perfect with-''
Her words where cut when Jane lifted her off the ground in a bone crushing hug. ''Oh my God Maura!''
''I take it you like it'', Maura raised her eye brows with a smile.
''I love it. And I will let you go this one time only because you said it partly compensates for the promotion gift. But for the years to come just know that this is too much for Valentine's Day''
''Noted''
''Thank you Maura.''
So Jane went wild with excitement that Morning. After they finished breakfast and got themselves presentable. They went to sit in front of the fire and enjoyed their time alone. It was perfect in light of the little time they had to make due with over the week. Maura was sandwiched between Jane and her bear as they watched movie upon movie.
When Valentine's fever was gone, Jane and Maura were faced with a new problem.
Anniversary.
They were not too sure when to mark the beginning of their relationship. After considerable deliberation, they settled on their first date in NZ – the day Jane asked Maura to be her girlfriend in the middle of a heavy make out session. So their Anniversary was in March.
''Do me one favour'', Jane asked after the conversation regarding the date of their anniversary.
''Sure''
''don't get me a gift for our anniversary''
''Jane!'', Maura rose her voice in shock. ''Why would you think I would ever do that?''
'Please''
''Wait. Is this still about the car? Because-''
''No Maura. I know what I want. I will tell you'' The words seemed to have hit home.
''You better tell me while there is still time so I can get whatever it is you want''
''I will''
It was two days before the day, and Jane still hadn't said a thing regarding her present. Maura asked over and over again. When Jane got upset one day, Maura dropped the story completely. Jane felt bad but she knew Maura would understand and forgive her.
''It's today Jane, but you still haven't told me what you want''
''I will. Would you just leave it alone'', Jane said a bit exasperated with the many questions. Maura told herself it would be the last time she asked, and it was. So the day went by as normal – Jane at work, Maura like wise.
I'm done here. Heading home now – J
Ok – M
Jane knew just from that word that Maura was vexed with her. There really wasn't a way to make things right other than to wait.
What time will you be home – J
Don't know – M
Maura was really pissed, and a little hurt.
Jane tried not to make things worse than they were and left work to go home. It was almost 4pm when she made it back. Normally Maura wouldn't be home until 5, so Jane had about an hour to get ready - she took a quick shower first.
At precisely 5pm, Maura pulled into the drive way. Jane ran outside and was by Maura's door before the blonde got out.
''don't say anything. Just come with me'', Jane let the words out fast with her finger pressed onto Maura's lips to ensure the woman didn't verbally protest. When Maura acquiesced Jane took hold of her right hand and pulled her towards the back of the house. Beside their swimming pool was a gazebo with a swing chair on it. ''please sit'', Jane instructed kindly. She held out a small square shaped gift to Maura and sat beside her. ''will just let me get this all out without interruption?''
''Yes. But Jane-''
''No Maura. Please, let me do the talking. Just this once. Then you can say whatever you want when I'm done. Please?'', she begged.
''Ok''. Maura let out a sigh. Jane could see she was losing her patience so she began quickly.
''I wish I could form all those nice Shakespeare words to make this moment perfect, but I'm not eloquent enough Maura. Where my brain lacks, my heart compensates though. I can't say what we have was love at first sight, but I can tell you the exact day I knew I had fallen completely in love with you'', she then motioned for Maura to open the gift.
Maura let out a loud gasp when she saw the framed picture in her hand. It was the Thanksgiving Jane ditched her family for Maura and the two were sinking their teeth into a turkey drumstick. ''Jane''
''That Thanksgiving was the day I was sure you had taken my heart. I couldn't stop thinking about you all day. I was miserable. I love my family to bits you know that. But in their presence that day all I wanted was you. I gave myself a few minutes to think about it, and then it hit me. Like a tonne of bricks as they say'', Maura chuckled a little, Jane smiled her full dimpled smile. ''then I realized it was love. That it wasn't just loving someone, because I loved my family. But it was being 'in love' with someone. So I left and came to you, and the day magically turned special''
Jane looked at the photograph in Maura's hand again. ''you said it was the best day of your life?'' (referring to the inscription Maura had wrote at the bottom saying 'best day of my life')
''Up to that point, yes'', Maura's words were laced heavily with emotion.
''I don't want you to ever describe a day as the best day of your life. I want every day to be equally special till you can't distinguish which one is better than the other'', Jane pause a little to pull herself together before continuing. ''it's really strange, because this may be too soon and delayed at the same time'', Maura creased her forehead lightly. ''too soon in the sense that we have been together-together for just a year, and too delayed in the sense that there has been no need to wait this long for the inevitable''
It wasn't rocket science, Maura knew Jane was proposing. It was what Jane had to say before she got to the end goal that kept Maura captivated and quiet.
''I like to give my all in everything I do, but sometimes I fail. When it comes to you though, there is no room for failure. I did in the past, but never again should you concern yourself with a repetition of that – it's not going to happen. So I waited until I was positive I could give this my all. My job is more flexible now, I can be there for you as much as you want and need. And we can work on that family we wanted from now on. I can do it now Maura. And I'm sorry for making you upset the past days. All you wanted was to get me a gift, but there wasn't a right way to tell you what I wanted without ruining this. For our first year anniversary I would love for you to agree to my proposal'', Jane went down on one knee before Maura and pulled the small box out of her pocket. '' Maura Isles, will you marry me?'' she opened the box revealing a silver ring with a big enough diamond for Maura. She purposely asked the question before opening the box. Jane wanted Maura to be looking in her eyes when she asked, instead of at the ring. It worked like a charm. The look on Maura's face would be ingrained in her mind for eternity.
''I'd love nothing more Jane'', she spoke with as much conviction as she could muster given the high emotional levels.
They both stood and Jane lifted Maura off her feet into a full embrace. When she placed her on the ground the two kissed passionately for a long moment. Maura let Jane consume her completely. The brunette dipped her tongue all the way into Maura's mouth producing a sexy moan from the blonde. When they broke apart, Jane took the ring and slid it onto Maura's finger.
''It fits perfectly Jane. I love it. And I love you''
''I love you too Maura''
''Always and forever'', they said in unison.
So the newly engaged couple walked into their home, where Jane had set up a nice dinner in front of the fireplace for them. ''God I can't wait to call you my wife'', Jane spoke in that sexy extra deep voice directly into Maura's ear. The blonde felt goose bumps foaming all over her body in response to Jane's proximity. That's all it took before they had hard core sex then dinner – it that order. Jane made sure to use the penis she know drove Maura into another universe.
The next phase in their life served to create an even stronger bond, if that was possible.
AN : I feel sad now. This is it. So up next, the epilogue. Give my about two days – it's the weekend, lol. You can tell me what you'd like to see, and what you thought of the whole story in general. I love to hear your praise and critiques, it will help me a lot with the sequel and my upcoming stories. I seriously adore you guys. Thanks loads…..